Podcast About List - Ep. 336 - Casting Spells To Turn Ourselves Into Various Animals

Episode Date: April 23, 2025

This world is all sorts of messed up, the economy is crashing, there's sickness and destruction going on every single day, and it's time someone did something about it. So we turned ourselves into ghosts and monkeys via spells.Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

It was in the middle. It was in the middle. This is not the middle nail anymore? The nail broke. Well, it was between those three, it was in the middle, but that middle nail, bent down. I wanted to put this up, but it was too big. Yeah, it's true. It's finally framed, though.

These used to hold, these used to hold the flats for the set. Why are you trying to knock it down? You are trying to stop. What's wrong? You're spite. You're spite. You get that away from me, man. You almost hit me in the face with that.

Enough. Enough of that. You are you. No, no, no. I don't even want to. I just want to pick you as a. frog. You're on enough.

You're on enough. You're on enough status. I have been tickling him more than you know, Cameron. You have no idea how much he's been tickling. The tickling doesn't enter into it for me. The entire time, you're on enough. The entire time you're up here. You're on enough.

You're on enough. I was tickling. You know, it would be a great way to escape from tickling. I'm going to put my finger in the painting. That would have been a really good. That would have been a really good way to avoid tick. We didn't need to put this painting up. It's not a painting.

You said, I'm the one. He said, I'm the one. who's calling it out, I get to do it. Okay, that's fair. You guys uncontested me calling it a painting. He said painting when it's a picture, Julio. If I say it's a painting, then you guys say it's a painting, then I go. Put one demerit on camera screen.

So we fell for it. That was really next level. Can you, can you start keeping track? It's like stone soup. Can you start keeping track of merits and demerits? Bullshit? Oh, I know. Why?

Yeah, yeah. Where if it's, if you get, if you get it by, it's okay. But then the next person who lies gets it. You do not want us to. implement a demerit system we've done that before when have we done that when did we done a demerit system you do not that is the last but you would be in you would be in this office every day like this and I'd walk in and be like what's going on and you'd be like dude I just I'm thinking about the demerits that I'm getting I just speaking of

you know who's getting a demerit this week? Who? Julio for his, his major flub. Oh, he was speaking to us before recording. Yeah, so basically, and now he can't cut it out.

He admitted to us that he walked. This is what he said. He said, guys, I'm almost, I'm almost at 100 steps in nine days. He's almost, and then he doctored this image to,

yeah, very quickly. Yeah, well, it's, it's in, it's Mexican, so the comma is a period. The comma is a decimal sign. 11.9.05 steps.

Exactly. Exactly. You've done 11 steps. every day. 11 steps per day. Over nine days. That's impressive. What was he thinking?

What could he possibly be thinking? The master's... Knowing that the demerit system was being cooked up. And you know, I would like to give the very first demerit ever given out on the show because we've never done it before. We have a, we have a perfect place to write a demerit. This is demerit territory. Wait, that way, wait.

Demerit territory. That's cool. Demeritori. I would very much like to avoid getting a demerit while I do this. You're in demratory, bro. We're not even going to write anyone else's name. right now. I have a demerit to give out real quick, right after, okay, I guess only Julio gets demerits, but. Well, no, we can do more. It's just the only one that we do. Okay, well, put one down

for yourself because your damn shirt's inside out. Is it? Is it inside out? Yeah, can we really quick, though, before we, before we put that down? Put CP1. What does, what entails a demerit? So an inside out shirt can be a demerit. Yeah, I think it's not a poor behavior. That's poor, uh, that's like you're wearing your, not wearing your uniform. formed a burger king. I feel like maybe majority rules. So interesting. Because then,

well, it's always going to be two versus one. It's majority rule. Well, but why would you? Because you just said right there, I'm not sure. Listen,

I have been a, look, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I've been a subject of many fashion flubs. Thank you for saying that because I've been needing to bring those up.

If the fashion flubs are going to be cause for demerits, I don't know if I'm so excited about the demarits. Okay, so we don't want the demarits. I don't think you would ever wear an inside out shirt. I could.

First they came for the inside-out shirties. And I said nothing. Don't call me an inside-out shirtie. Yeah. Just because I wore one one time. That's a demerit. That's a demerit. That's not a demerit.

That is not a demerit. How is that a demerit? Because it's a name-calling. Yeah. Okay. So you just called me a name by writing cam. That's your name. That's a demir.

It's not my name. What is, okay, camera. All right. I'll take one and you take one. Okay. That's fair. It's all fair. Name calling is a good baseline.

And I'll take one for the hanging of the picture. Thank you. That's very noble of you to take that. So maybe I get a merit. I don't know if you get a merit. You really think that that whole thing was just one to merit? Maybe I get a merit for pointing out. That's true.

And then you wasting like five minutes. This is like Yu-Gi-o scale. Yeah. We're like the weakest monster is 1,000. That feels like that. might be a double demerit, man. I don't think that's a double demerit. What about one really thick demerit?

Look, I wasn't going to give you multiple demerits. You can thicken up the demerit. But if an inside out shirt is one demarit, I don't. That's improper. An insurgue is improper. But it's not that improper. No, no, no. He's, he's walking in here.

He's got his inside out shirt on, man. That's not okay. You wear your shirt the right way. Okay, so you're happy with one thick demerit. I'm happy with one thick. Hey, thicken that thing up even more. You want to... I'm gonna just...

Thicken it up more. So how many... Round it out. How much a thick is four? As this is looking like four of that one... It's just one. It's just one super heavy one. It's just a thick.

And it's almost a little oval... Yeah, there we go. That looks perfect. That's a pretty bad... That's a pretty... Well, we don't want a demarit to be badass. Also... Yeah, it looks pretty...

It looks too badass to be a demerit. Can you make it? Can you put stink lines on it? I'll take one for making it too badass. Just put stink lines on it and it'll be less badass, I feel. Maybe stink lines to the right of it? Maybe on the side. Yeah, maybe a bunch of vertical stink lines to the right of it.

And then maybe a bunch of like vertical really skinny flies. Oh, yeah. I don't know. Like a fly between that and a fly between that. They're not that squiggly. That's a problem. And then just to squiggle them up a little bit just to show that they're stinglines. Well, just to show that they're all part of the same drawing, just put a diagonal one through every four.

Okay. All right. So that's just one. Yeah. So it just looks. with one diagonal line. So we can put it around that out. Yeah, I don't care.

I'm the bad boy of the show. You know what all this says to me is I'm the fucking bad boy. So I know those aren't, whoa. I know that you only have, wow. You're not seeing that? Well, that we're just doing the swear jar. I don't know.

We should be careful. We should just really erase the whole. If it's swear jar, too, we got to get rid of this. Well, we'll do demerits, but we'll leave it at this. And I don't think fingering. Here's what else is a demer. Here's what all says. say that we can do whatever we want, first of all, and second of all, I think that the audience

has learned what happens when they, they get upset about a swear jar style, uh, uh, system. Audience. Yeah. Thank you. Give them way more demerits than me. They have a good amount of demerits. No. Yeah.

Let's get them one for inevitably saying something about the swear jar. And one for ineptitude. In the audience is an aptitude? Yeah. They're ineptitude. But what did they do? They're naivete. We got to scale way back on what.

The word I'm looking for. Again, I feel like the starting off with the inside-out shirt really said a dangerous precedent. It really doesn't seem like a demerit at all to me. Again, you're still wearing an inside-out shirt. So I don't even think it's a bad, a wrong thing. He didn't even correct this. Can you not wear a backwards hat? No.

What's the point of that? What about a big white t-shirt? A big white t-shirt? That's teetering. Depends on the shirt. What about if you have pants with stains and paint on them? That's okay. These are work pants.

What kind of work were you doing? Yeah, what kind of work was a... Jizz. Jizz isn't work. It's fun. It's fun to fucking jiz. It's literally pure play. If you were saying,

it's worked for some people. They're called sex workers. They're called prostitutes. And they work at a factory. They're called... I'm pretty sure they're called prostities. Sex workers? Okay.

Interesting. I know that Patrick only has one. Let's be weird. Nothing against them. Yeah. Those are my two. I just have very stylized demerits. That is a, that is a sci-fi phrase.

Sex-worker. Sex-worker sounds like something you'd read in a book. Yeah, I wish the phrase, I wish there was a better word for them. Yeah, if only. Fonly we could say, God. I wish there was a better, because sex worker does sound like. Yeah, one syllable. You're working in a mind.

A little bit like a, like a. That's a bit sci-fi as well, isn't it? Yeah. Sleut. Sleut. Nobody says Sleut anymore. Slet could work on a planet.

Did people ever say that out loud? Sleut? Yeah. I don't know. I just remember if I'm never heard anybody say anything out loud. You never went to middle school? I never went to middle school. That shit stayed on a runescape for me, I believe.

People were saying Sleut out loud in middle school. So that's not quite middle school. That was, dude. That's similar. Sleut followed me around. It followed. Yeah, okay. So you said slew.

Yeah, I think they were in my old age. They were calling me a sleut because I was throwing it back. Were you ever a sleut? I was a sleut. I was throwing my thing everywhere, jizzing all over the pants. You were jizzing all over the place? Look, I don't want to talk about my past as a sleut. Dude, that's fair.

Why would you talk about your past? Nobody was making you talk about my past. We're not going to talk about my past as a salute in community college. Do you guys have a journal? No. Not really. I just watched. I just watched that.

I watched Robert Rodriguez interview on, on Lex Friedman. Say it again. I watched Robert Rodriguez interview. The director? Yeah. Okay. Because I was like,

that's awesome. Yeah. This guy's badass. And he talked about having a journal. Yeah. And how you like, all creatives should have one, man.

That's what he said. I bet that's what he said. I bet that's a shit like that too. He doesn't do like that. And I was like, you know what? I've kept a journal at some point for like three days at a time.

And he was like, it's so great you get to look back and go and remember like days. And I went back and I was like, most days fucking suck. I literally, all of the days that I read were like so today's a worst day ever the good actual the good actual journalist is to is you just

write down whatever you're thinking about and you write down big ass dinosaur with fucking horns that's a good journal because you're not not anything about your life at all my life is boring as fuck I don't do anything and when I do do anything it's because it's bad yeah and diary today I thought of a car that can only fly backwards that's what my journal is that's more of an ideas thing it's still if you know if you're writing it every day and you're saying and it's about You're trying to keep track of it. You get to see how the dinosaur evolves. My daily ideas.

And every creative should have one of those, man. That is exactly how he talked. That's, I think, how probably everybody who keeps a journal talks. His kids' names are all weird. Racer Rodriguez. They're all, it's all R.R. Funis. Funis.

Foonis Rodriguez. He has a son named Racer. He's a son named Rebels. Funis, Foonis, Foonis. Wow. I think, I remember seeing it was like a thing on like weird celebrity kid names. Bender Rodriguez is his name in the show. That is his name in the show. Caleb didn't even remember that the other day. Now he's pretending he knows it. Yeah.

Well, I learned it from you guys, like a lot of stuff in my life. Yeah. Is that so wrong to learn from my friends all the time? When did I not know that? Friends are the greatest teachers. Recently. Very recently. A few days ago, I was in fucking Colonial Williamsburg. That was actually a couple days ago. It was awesome. That was your, that was your anniversary trip slash birthday? That was, had nothing to do with my birthday. It was a purely romantic, fourth trip to Colonial Williamsburg in my life. I love Colonial Williams. Seems cool.

I never been to that one. It's so awesome, dude. I went to Sturbridge Village. Yeah, classic. Yeah. There was, they had a dude, they had Sturbridge Village merch.

Really? I think I sent it. What's Sturbridge Village? It was like Colonial Williamsburg, but it's in Sturbridge Mass. Yeah. Is it, it's, I think it's colonial,

it's like a, it's big. It's like, it's like, it's like a whole like fake town. Yeah, there's like, I think that based on just based on how I, based on, based on. name recognition, I think that probably Colonial Williamsburg is the biggest one. It's hard to say. Why isn't it so hard to say? Colonial Williamsburg.

I think it's probably the biggest one. I think the other ones are many ones. And they got a second one there too, Jamestown. Wow. Yeah, Mass got a few of them. Yeah, Mass has some. That's the, that's a good location. Plymouth Plantation seems way better than Sturbridge Village. Plymouth Plantation was cool, yeah.

Do you see the rock? I don't remember if the rock is actually at Plymouth Plantation. The rock is very underwhelming, too. It's a little rock. Yeah, it's because of years of erosion. and it was probably so big back then. It's a good point. It's a really good point. It's like the Appalachian Mountains are older than the Rockies.

It melted. Yeah. What? The mountains melted. They did? Melted mountains. Or the rock melted. The rocks and my drinks melted.

Those are ice cubes. What do they have? They have rocks for drinks, though. They do have seen that shit. I would consider them stupid. The hell is that crap about. That's the kind of thing that I could understand. It's like a thing.

It's like a thing. You're not a caveman anymore. But no, but it's one of those things where it's like the type of where you're like, oh, you've got to decant this or whatever. Someone's like, I'm not going to do that. But I can understand being really into this stuff and thinking it and feeling that it makes some kind of difference. You know what the best way to decant this is? Get a rock from outside, freeze it and put in my fucking drink.

Well, they're special rocks. They're not special. They're not special because you have to buy them. Well, that's true. That isn't expensive. I think my, maybe my mom got one is like a Christmas present or something. But then you what? You have one drink.

My only exposure to this. And then it's, you got to put them back in the freezer. I think it's, I wouldn't use it. But I'm just saying I can understand. It's like the same thing as when you get all your coffee gadgets or whatever. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's just a little thing.

I want one of those. It's just a little thing, man. What's that? One of those things for this. Yeah, a corkscrew. Yeah. One of those things. I thought you're talking about the macho thing.

When I was in Williamsburg, I haven't been drinking, but for my anniversary, my wife ordered a martini. And I was like, you know, I'm going to have a martini. I had maybe a third of this martini. and I was like fucked up. Yeah. I was destroyed.

Well, they made alcohol differently back that man. That's true. It's what it seemed like to me. Yeah, you're drinking grog.

I think I brought that up. I was like, this has to be meed or something. Yeah. Well, grog is watered down. Yeah, meat is made of honey.

A lot of people think it's made of something else. No, no, no. It's not. A lot of people think that. So that's why I

felt the need to say. The need for me. It's been funny. That's a good idea for a movie. The need for me to medieval horse racing. That would be so sick

They had to get a bunch of mead before medieval prom Well I was thinking it was like Need for Speed It was like a race racing Yeah they're racing to the meat store before it closes The fucking You could get the You know when you see like the blue flame Come out of the back of the car

Chast and Furious Fucking fart That's good That's good kind of like an old medieval movie About the virtues Chastin and Curious It's a purest

piece about a girl turning Camelot turning marriage age in Camelot yeah King Arthur

why do they have they never made a car that shoots out just dribbles of poop at the back like a horse they did

that was a Detroiters episode yeah oh yeah that's right yeah the car he develops a car

with this like they meet up with his millionaire guy who develops a car with zero emissions like zero

and the only tradeoff is that it poops yeah I don't think this is ever going to catch on it's genius

It's funny. Because I was watching the horses do that. Poop. Fucking poop on the ground. They just poop in front of you. They have no manner. I thought that was an idea that we came up with only because there was poop involved. Yeah, it does seem like.

A car that poops is definitely something we would say. It's also not, it's an idea. I don't think it's the most original idea of all time. Not to disparage Detroiters. No. I would. You're teetering on demerit, buddy. I don't take any.

How am I teetering on demerit by saying I'm not doing that and I wouldn't? I was going to, well, if you were disparaging, Detroiters. I specifically, I wasn't. You called destroyers. That's a three. You called it destroyers. You called it destroyer. Can we just agree that we're not going to have, that disparaging.

This is the final ranking of the demerits. And disparaging TR is a demerit. Of course. In general. We're not, I'm not saying you did. And SR. Yes. T.

Oh, yes. Yeah. Both of them. They almost have the same last name. If you change a lot of letters. They got the first three letters. Richard Brubinson. Richard.

No, never mind. Maybe we could make a perfect comedian, comedic actor by putting them together in the fly transporters, right? Yeah. Okay. Tam Rich Arberson. Tam Rich Arberson?

He'd be funny as fun. He would be the funniest guy in the world. He would be really, really funny. It would be literally the funniest guy of all time. Too bad. All we have is... Too bad. We have them separate.

We have them separate. Dude, I love those two actors. They need to get fucking combined. They need to be... We need to be morphed. Oh, God. Literally can only reach half of their potential. Yeah, because, like, I get...

Well, it's nice that they ended up working together. Why don't we just blend literally everybody together and make one... One super actor? Richard Lewis and them? Oh, yeah. Wait, let's put them together. Richard Lewis and him? I was telling with Richard Lewis and...

Well, he doesn't even... He automatically gets combined in. If you're... Sam Richardson, that includes Richard. So that's already got it. He's already... Richard Bells are in there, too. And Tim Robinson got Robin Williams.

Yeah. That's why they're so funny. Richard Lewis, Robin Williams. What you need is, and Robin Williams got William. Shatner, DeFoe. William Defoe, that's a great actor. You should. What would be the best combination of, like, the only one for some reason I can think of is, well, no, never mind.

Snoopy and Woodstock. I was being very confused. You were being confusing, too. I tried to do a little bit of both. I tried to dabble in a little bit of each. what about are a c s lewis combined with richard lewis okay i'd like to see those two combined so christianity and judaism right there fantasy and harsh reality yes and louis sacchar they're both fucking dead they are both dead we don't know about c s louis could have escaped to narnia and

lewis capaldi who's lewis he sings one of those fucking songs he's like fucking it looks like a pinhead what that's a demerit is that disparaging that was that was that was that was that was you called him a pinhead. I guess that's not, that's to a public figure. I don't know if he's a good guy or not, though. I don't know. I'll search it. I'll look up.

Can you look up if I would like, can you search, find out if I would like him? If I would see that as a demerit? Cameron like Lewis Capaldi. Lewis Capaldi. Because if I really like him, I just got a AI overview. I searched Google AI overview. Would Cameron like Le Wuss Cap do? Okay.

Well, yeah, let's find that out too. This guy? He does not look like a pinhead. He looks like a pinhead. He does look like a pinhead. I don't think a pinhead, but I think he's definitely got a... He does look like a pinhead. He looks like one of the Peas from Veggie Tales.

He's a pinhead. I wouldn't say pee. Oh, he makes his song. And I want to kind of use of someone you love when the days bleed. That one. I don't know that. Oh, wait. I recognize that part.

I thought that was Maroon 5. Dude, that's fucking... Isn't that in the daylight? No, it's when the days bleed Okay In the nightfall Yeah, I definitely heard this song before I think I'm totally fine with him being called a pinhead

And I'll strike the proposed demerit from the record Dude, thank you. You're welcome. Dude, he was, I was just close to getting a fucking demerit for that stupid shit. And I can't believe I see this is the problem Yeah Is having that up there having that right Because I'm trying to look

You're trying to look over here You're being, you're trying to me next to it. I'm seeing only the demerits and you and then you again. I'll take a demerit for that I mean I think that's unanimous I feel that's an easy one but it was too easy disparaging your co-host is a demerit

when did I get a second backward shirt but what's that fucking second one I already forgot you name called or I don't even know I have no clue this demerit system is going to be the end of us I can tell right now

we're going to have to get so many whiteboards to keep track of these can you lose a demerit can you get a demerit revoked yeah if you get a merit merit. A merit. So merit cancels out a demerit. What is an example of a merit?

We'll figure it out as we go. Oh. That feels like we're almost never going to get that. Okay. So can I get a merit for wearing my shirt right side out? See, that's a good question. Okay. If a demerit is wearing it inside out? Because that's expected to wear your shirt right side out.

Well, it wasn't expected. So you get a demerits for the unexpected by you? I guess demerits are for the unexpected. It's a horrible precedent that we're saying really, really, really, really true. It is only the inside out shirt is what you're. It's the Tverit system. Everything else works perfectly. It almost is a perfect system.

Name calling that's obvious. It's easy. Can we vote for a revocation? Okay, if you're, okay, think about it this way. If this was the army and you showed up with your suit of armor. Dude, it's nothing like the army.

And you showed up with your suit of armor inside out. Okay. You would get a talking to. You would shut up with your suit of armor inside out. I think they would give you a job as a black staff. In the army, you were the most impressive feet of metal. Which generation the arm is from?

How do you accidentally put on your armor inside out? I don't know, but you would get it to merit for that. You would be a philosopher's stone type guy. Yeah. You could do something like that. Dude, I went to the Met this weekend. Oh, really? I finally went there.

I saw the armor thing. You saw this guy? Yes. You know what I'm talking about. Right near the entrance he got this, motherfucker. And then there's this one, I don't know. And his shit's pointing up. I don't remember who it is.

I think it was Henry the second. One of these. kings got like he had a suit of ceremonial armor but he got so fat late in life that they had to make a new fat armor yeah fat armor and he had no he had no cod protection dude ceremonial so he was fucking in that thing please don't fuck my fucking fuck with my cod yeah if i'm on my if i'm on the battle field you stab me in the head just don't everything above the belt come i just be buried with my cod intact and i don't want to have to wear that

embarrassing piece as well. Unless your cameo. The piece is cool if you if you get it extra a long

size. Camio had an amazing cod piece in the 80s. Who's cameo? He sings that song Oh pretty ladies around the world.

I think that's that guy who's in all those movies for like 10 seconds. Oh yeah. He does those videos.

He has this song called Word Up and in the music video he's wearing like... Ripping off Eric Andre. Bird Up. He's wearing

a black Yes, that's what I'm referring to. He's wearing like a black leather suit with a big red leather codpiece. It's so sick. Red leather, yellow leather. Can you pull a picture up

of Cambyo's codpiece? I just got it. You're looking like McDonald's motherfucker. Put it on. Come on. I don't know what to say. Dude. Well, you did say put it on.

I don't. I shouldn't have to say it. You were hoping no one would say it. Yeah, it's true. I thought that maybe you would forget about this, but I realize. I'm the only. looking at it. It's all I can see.

I have a feeling I'm going to be getting a lot of these. Well, it's just because of the way you act. To be honest. It's not really. I do have a bad attitude. It's easily averted. Dude, I told you I got duty bombed today. That's true.

By a duty walker. I guess that will affect your attitude. Seeing a duty walker. Duty walkers will affect attitude. A duty walker. my train car with the old duty walk dude they were guys were in there

setting up for showtime and the duty walker walked in and they said fuck no and they got off the fucking train and I gave him a dollar yeah I paid him to duty walk you gotta give the duty walker would you have given showtime a dollar hell no that dollar no I would rather have a duty walker

than the show time yeah what's the rank you here pan flute guys pan flute guys Showtime, duty walker, what's the... Regular guy begging. The Asian instrument with the single string. Air do, air who.

Air who is number one. If you ever see that in a subway station, you're blessed. That's amazing. Remember the guy in Park Street station? I think about that guy all the time. I gave that guy probably $100 over the years. I was standing on the train. I was standing in the kind of vestibule area where there's no seats where they always stand

if they're going to perform. And two guys got on with two guitars and their guitar was wearing a sticker that said this machine kills fascists and they are wearing types of this type of thing across them. They got on as if they were going to perform. They came over to the vestibule and I was standing there and I just looked at them. They

did not play. Because of you, dude. I blocked them. You psychically blocked them. I saved the car. Were they crusties? They were about to play and then they were like, I was just staring at them because I was kind of like, if you guys are about to play right in front of me like this, I'm not going to be happy. Or I'm going to say something. Yeah.

I was stink eyeing them and so then one of them went and sat down and then there were another seat to open up so I went and sat down next to that guy so he probably thought I was going to kill him you kept following followed him and then they while the train was going they went to the next bar

this guy felt bitch made after you followed him dude yeah but I felt really proud to be honest you saved a lot of people I don't think all crust punks have a butt flap true crust punks have that butt flap patch doesn't matter much to me whether they were a crust

They have like, it's like part of the belt. They blew through their pants? No, it's like, it's like a weird, like, I've seen it a lot where they have like a patch on the, on the butt. Duty walkers. Yeah, maybe it's a duty walker thing. Yeah, they were not, they were not just guys who owned instruments who were going to the next location. They were wearing the guitars and they were doing the kind of preliminary getting ready to play. Kind of half warming up, kind of touching the strings.

Maybe you were on the tuning train. I just, I just, I was, again, I was proud. I emanated the anti-music power. And I deleted them. I'm normally anti-music, but a guy, I was in an antique store in Virginia, and a guy started just, he walked around for like an hour. It was a big antique mall. He was testing every guitar and it sounded like shit. He was just like testing every guitar, tuning them.

I was like, this fucking guy is buying his first guitar. The whole entire room sounds like this shit. And then he found the right guitar and he sat down and he played, what a wonderful world. Wow. He was like an 80-year-old black guy. the guitar's problem, it really was? It literally was. He was literally looking for the perfect guitar. And he sounded

amazing. And he just kept playing songs and I started every time he would finish I go, woo! And clap. Yeah. If it's not on a train, it's nice. When I'm on a train, I'm going somewhere. I don't want to be there. I'd rather be at point A or point B. And the last thing I want to fucking hear on the train is music.

No, I want to hear my own music. Yeah. Woo! Yeah. Go camera. Go camera. Go camera. mad out. That's fun. I listen to that song. It's a good song. It's the only song you're listening to. Every morning when you wake up, you should record a rap song, 80's style about what you think you're going to do that day. And then you listen to that on your commute to go do that thing. It's like the break, the breaks by Curtis Blubren.

Yeah. To New York City. This is my day. See, that sounds fun, but I would definitely prefer someone else to record it. And then I just do whatever they told me to do it. I'll do it. Now go over there i go okay if you follow through that i'll have you run all my errands bro if you follow through it now take the shirts from the front of the if you follow that's your area that's a merit and put them in the laundry

I'll say that take the shirts from the front of the what the shirt from the front of the door oh you keep their shirts on the front of your door when they're dirty I do keep them on the front of your door yeah on hangers yeah and I wait for some fool that I've tricked with my song idea of course I have a hamper

you see to keep them on the front of your doors for the pants the shirts stay on the door pants on the floor shirts on the door yeah that's the that's the clothing policy but wouldn't that feel pretty cool

to be riding to work yeah you had to get that out I know you had to get that out that was that noise you didn't want that to come out yeah it could be cool

so you have anything else to say about my idea what was I yeah well I already said a good amount about it Yeah, that's true too, but do you want to maybe remove my demerit for calling you in Donald's? If you make the song, if you make the song, that's a merit.

I can't remove demerits take a lot. That's what I think is a huge problem. Demerates are so easy to get. No, I think that's good because if merits are so easy, then you're just going to be calling sitting here, call me a peckerhead the entire damn episode, just because you know you can make a new song every day and delete them to merit. Am I right? It sounds like a lot of work. Am I right?

If I want it, you don't think that that's a bad example, but if you can just say something kind, then you'll just say a bunch of mean crap about me and then be kind after you're right. Your tattoos look really bright today, though. See, that's not kind. How's that not kind? It feels pointed. Pointed? I feel like, see, again, you're just kind of trying to earn your way back to calling me all types of rude names.

No, I don't. I don't want to do that. I don't want to call you rude names. And I have no desire to call you a pecker wood or whatever you said. He said peckerhead. Oh. Peckerwood's a different ball game. Yeah.

Completely different. Yeah. That's funny that that's the prison word for white guys. Yeah. Two penis words in a row. Yeah. It's cool. It is a little cool.

It's cool. I'm sick of pretending that's not. It's kind of cool. It's cool because it's woodpecker in reverse. Yeah. They called me woodpecker. They'd be kind of like that. I probably wouldn't like that.

A woodpecker. Probably wouldn't like that sounds to think about it. In prison, that sounds like maybe you're... The woodpecker. Yeah. It's actually a good nickname. A penis sucker. It's not a bad nickname.

Just because it's at most animals' names. That would suck to get that nickname for your laugh, though. You have a woody woodpecker. Yeah. You have that kind of laugh. Does he laugh like that? He laughs like those fucking cars. Yeah.

What cars? Jal. Cars that make that noise. Oh. Hold on. I got to pee so bad. I feel like it is a demarer. I mean, if again, you know, I hate to go back to this so many times.

But it's like if simply wearing a shirt inside out is a demerit. I'm not sure even. Abandoning the episode halfway through. Well, we don't know that in this moment that we're deciding. Well, you are. I mean, you're going to come back. I hope. But it's still.

You're not here. Yeah. And we don't know how long this P is. And honestly, you keep delaying it by talking. If coming back makes it not abandoning, then I'll leave in minute one. I'll come back 59. Yeah, exactly. So this is the precedent.

I think you can draw a little P's dream next to him on the other side of his name. Okay. P merit. Maybe we could do it like this where this is his head and he's like really proud that he's peeing. Yeah, that's good. A P. Merit.

Let's give him a really big dick. Big purple fucking vainy. Let's put a vein in it. Uh-huh. And he's peeing on the audience. Because that is what he's doing. Yeah, because I mean, legit. And what letter is he hitting there?

You. Wow. Wow. Well, kind of the D and it's splashing into the U, but it does make more sense for him to pee into the, because the U is kind of like a toilet. And the D is like the tank of the toilet. Yeah, so Pat, while you were gone, we gave you a demerit. We gave you a P merit. And we did give you a big ass dick, but you're pissing into the audience onto the audience. And really, based on just, what are we, 30 minutes into this episode, I like our cable thing, by the way.

Yeah, I love our cable management. I is, I think it keeps us on a head. There's not many things you can do with these cables. Yeah, exactly. This is basically the best it could be. What is Velcro going to do? Look at mine. How is Velcro going to help this situation?

These cables all go directly to where they go. We could sew XLR cables into our clothes, and then we all just stand up right next to the recorder device. We could get some shirt microphones. Get some what? Shirt mics. Were the whole shirts a microphone? No, like laughs. That still has a wire unless we're not using wires, man.

It makes me feel like them on the news. They should call them laugh mics because of the. fucking laugh at how paltry they are how fucking paltry they are. Do you really consider lav might lave levelier mics? You consider them paltry? And it makes you laugh.

Give me the sure SM 58 over the laugh every day. Can we do a little SM 58 on it? Again, I don't feel like it doesn't. It doesn't say anything. I think you just are saying. I think you know it. No, look at it.

I just keep forgetting it does. It's under the hood. It's under the hood, man. Wow. Wow. Wow. do you a little little one month or whatever how long it's been checking on the new microphones how we feel on I love it I love it I love doing this oh yeah I mean that's yeah awesome but if you want to hear more of that you got to up your we we did a whole the indie episode where we did a lot

of that and we did interesting noises that we check this out it's coming off of my beard hair yeah it sounds like it sounds like Velcro dude does sound like Velcro Why are you so amazing at the podcasting? I've been doing this for a long time. I've been doing this for years. You are inventing new things to do with the microphone almost every single time. Now that it's handheld again. Yep.

What did you guys do this weekend? No, I'm guessing you didn't. We weren't immersed in a living history museum like some people were. I'd never been to the Met until this weekend. Oh yeah, you went to the Met. You see anything else besides the fucking thing? I saw the Egypt stuff. So it sounds like he kind of was immersed in his history.

A lot of living history museum. I was doing that... Just like very, very close to what you said. I was saying, I was saying this very... I was doing the classic Mr. And you know. Uh-huh. I was doing and you know. And you know.

Yeah. I was doing that out loud and it was making me like... Just pointing at the stuff in the Egypt exhibit and just being like... And it doesn't matter what is where it's from. I'm going to steal it. Just pointing at everything. Just saying it's like, and this is from like reading the plaque and then be like, And it was stolen in 2012.

It's like the biggest Egyptian statue. It was stolen by a very skinny burglar. By an enterprising young man. Just say, you imagine how good that I would feel if you stole a piece of art and they reported you as a skinny burglar? A ludicrously skinny burglar. Oh, my God, dude, I would need that right now. An extremely skinny.

A thin burglar? A very, very thin and chic burglar. Oh, my God. well-fitting skinny clothes yeah oh no wonder he jumped out of there so no wonder he was undetected he was able to slip between the guards

he slipped between every single laser he slipped between the guards have to sit shoulder to shoulder to shoulder he thought he was a painting yeah that's how skinny he was flat like sideways flat Stanley yeah he was very very skinny stormed by a guy who looked like flat Stanley

but like also handsome he used his own body to pick the lock and not a kid not a kid not a kid god that police report would be so beautiful I would love that police report And if he was a kid, he'd be ugly I would honestly probably admit to the crime if they said that shit

Like, oh shit, come on, God I'd have a perfect alibi Yeah I'm fucking fat I'm fucking ugly and fat It wouldn't have been me All the report said That it was a skinny, good looking guy

And I'm a fat fucking ugly piece of shit Actually you catch him man You say it was an ugly fat Criminal and they go Hey, hey, seriously I'm not that ugly and fat Come on man Oh wait I'm gonna go to

jail now yeah what I would do is I would sell all of the art that I got obviously back to the museum

good plan yeah so that'd be the end of my no I would sell all the art and then I would use that money to eat to eat so much food

and then you get fat as fuck stop fitting the description I would kind of not I would say I would sell I would sell I would sell all the paintings

that make money and then yeah you would probably use some money for that'd be part of bit at least. I still think that's kind of the same

level. I do food and I pay my rent stuff. I buy a lot of toys. Food and luxuries.

I would definitely go for luxuries and necessities. Necessities would be for whatever reason lower on the list of luxury.

I basically spend yeah, whatever amount I need to on necessities than the rest I'd put on luxuries. Depends on its value. I wish that

they should that in the fucking met next to every that's true. actually, can I, you know, I'd like to give you a merit for that. That's a good point. Wow.

If I, it was really, it was really smart. The price is determined by the value. Yeah. But in the Met, they should have the value, the estimated value next to every pool. The only, only, only terrible art has, has, has the price. Yeah. When you say priceless. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

Everything it would say priceless next to it. A coffee shop. up in like a college town. Yeah. It's $2,000. I bought some art like that. I'm not going to lie. I bought some,

I don't know why I was in this antique store and I was so touched by these photos, these art, these portraits of a cybernetic woman. Yeah. And I bought two of them and they were $14 each. When I, then I got home and I was like, if they were $14 or not the type of thing I'm talking about.

No, but they look exactly like that. Well, then it's okay. They're like bad like comic book. The only problem with those is that they're $500. Would you guys be mad if I hung my new... I'll bring it to the office. That's fine.

We have this up. You were spurned. You're not allowed to hang it up at your house, are you? I didn't say that. But I'm gleaning. You are gleaning. You are gleaning. It was like, oh, what if I...

It's been crazy if I brought this in here? I wonder... It's not like I'm not allowed to have it in the house or anything. I wonder if I took a picture of them, actually. Because if you guys saw them, you would really laugh. Because they are... Let me see. No, I don't...

I didn't... I didn't fucking grab a picture. I did see this shit, though. Look at this. I almost bought this. It was like $200. Look at that. It's a guy with a blood bag

that's labeled IRS and he's dying. I wish you bought that. So the IRS is helping him? They're putting blood into him. No, that's, it kind of is interesting. It looks like that's kind of what they're getting at. I'm going to show this to the camera. That's like when I was in a,

when I was in Oakland. Well, they can't so much see it. And I went to this like, I went to this like, I get what, I don't know how. you would describe it store. It was like a store, but it was like a flea market 24-7 kind of thing. Well, it seems like you did a good market.

It was just like a junk shop. It was a junk shop, and there was a commissioned David D's poster in the back. That I bought. It was like this woman commissioned like a photo of herself, and then she's like some angel or something, and then it's like her versus like bad people. It's like there's like halfway down the middle,

like half of it is flames, and then the other half is heaven. And it's like MLK is in heaven, but then like there's like other people in hell and stuff. Well, who can't just say other people. Who's in hell? I forget who was in hell. Probably whoever, like I think it had like FDA and stuff and all this stuff. I think I have a picture of it.

Who is FDA? It's a food and drug administration. I thought you're saying people who are in hell. No, no, no. Well, the whole of the organization. You recognize the building. Hold on. I got to find this picture.

But then I like, I left it with. my girlfriend when she was like coming back and she was like, oh yeah, I'll just ship it and then she was like, yeah, it's going to cause like $200 to ship this painting. And I was like, do it? No, I wasn't gonna fucking do that. Where is the painting now? Could it not be could you not just like roll it up? Really? Yeah, the place where she

worked in. Wait, well, you couldn't just roll it up? Yeah, what? No, I didn't. Well, I couldn't roll it up because it was attached to like, it was clearly framed at some point in like, it was like attached to something. It was matted? Yeah, it was matted. I don't know what the word is, but it was on like some kind of poster board you could have taken that crap off i could have i could have i maybe could have

now it's sitting in a sick inside of this shit or that's BS have i would have been sick as fuck i don't know if i want to give away that detail of where she was working but it's in there i don't think you have to it's in their art department now it's the art department just has like a bunch of like random art and she gave it to them so oh that's cool you guys know you guys know where she worked yeah that actually is really funny there's been david t's painting in that building but there was already like millions of them yeah it was info wars it was info wars my girlfriend worked for info wars

in the art department and info wars yeah i think i'm going to get into art now now that i bought this is the first art i've ever bought my entire life you just bought it i just bought it two days ago yeah it was it was one for wait it was one for 16 or two for 28 ooh okay i bought two they're both the same you don't have a picture of them no No, I didn't take any picture.

I'll send you guys a picture and we can use it as something. It can go right here in my hand and then I throw it. Wow, pretty cool. A picture? Well, like, Julio. I see you're saying right now you'd edit it in. I was really, I thought you were saying we would do that in the future. It's a demerit if you don't do it.

It's a demerit if you don't do it. Okay, we have a little bit of a riddle here. Would you rather take the demerit for not doing it or me get the demerit for not doing it or me get the demerit for making you do it. You took a demerit. Dude, he's going to do it. Yes. That is fucking badass.

And I will eat that demerit. And guys, I'm in second place. Depending on what you want to think is better. Because you're going to eat it, draw a burger. A burger as a demerit? Yeah. Dude, this is really testing the limits of my drawing skills. I'm not very good at drawing.

That's perfect. Well, you need a little tomato on that too. And I guess it looks more like the burger. It needs a hand. I remember I stayed with this. It doesn't need a hand. What are you talking about? He thinks it's called a handburger.

He thinks it's called a handburger. I remember when I was a kid, I stayed with. Trying to find a way to mess up your drawing. My mom's family friend, we like stayed with them. We were traveling and we stayed with them for a couple days. And she had this son that she was, everybody was always like, this guy's the best. He's like a prodigy artist. He like is going to go to college for art.

He was probably like 16. Yeah. And I'd been there for like three days. I've been hearing all this shit about. about what an amazing artist this guy was. And then we went to his room and he was like, do you want to me to see my art? And I was like, yeah, of course.

Let me see your art. I was maybe 10. And he opened up his notebook and he just would draw pictures of fat guys eating hamburgers. And like, not even, and they're all, we're like, like, like big ass mouth opening up

and you're like kind of like, like almost like the hamburger is like a moon surrounding a planet and a movie where you get like just, the top part of the hamburger and you would see his big fingers and he was eating it and i think he ended up going to scad yeah for man it's it's a scad sounds like art to me sounds fucking awesome i also bought a tie speaking of art i bought a tie with the dogs playing poker on it oh that's cool five bucks man it's cool it seems like you did a lot of buying i did yeah i got scared

scared of that i spent so much money yeah spent $34 wow 33 wow yeah you guys i want to oh yeah Yeah, let's get into this. Oh, yeah, it's a normal, right? Yeah. If anything's normal nowadays anymore. Well, what I'm about to show you is not normal. I just sent this one thing, but there's a lot of stuff here. This is, for those who aren't familiar, and I know you know about this, too, Cameron.

But on Etsy, people are selling spells where they will, these are witches who will cast spells. And these get really interesting. If you keep going down for a little bit, if you keep going down. down. Yeah, keep going. What are you laughing at? I don't know if I should read this. Why? You can read it and we'll decide if you should cut it. No,

I'm not going to read it. Okay. You'll show us later? Yes. So click on the Diablo, bottom right. Okay. This looks scary. Look at that. Wow.

It's a kind of beautiful, honestly. It's a cock candle. Oh, I didn't even see the balls. Yeah, so it's... I see it now. And it's very vainy. Yeah. Was that veins or is that melt?

That's veins. That's veins. That's a bit of both. Okay. Yeah, that's veins. So this one's called the Diablo. This is from Houdou RX. So let's go down to the...

2,387 reviews. Yeah, so they have... This person has a lot of customers. It's a booming business. The summarized AI buyer highlights. It says buyers appreciate Gina's exceptional communication and kindness, noting effective results from her spells. While many report positive changes, a few expressed disappointment with outcomes did not meet their expectations. Well, the description is this.

Don't let them look at anyone else. If they do, let them burn. The dominator and the incinerator in one. Emergency is take priority and weekends. Alter service available if you want us to burn this on our altar. You must purchase altar reading or the candle will be sent to you. And let's read some reviews here, guys. five stars customer service is well it's gone now by ashley booger five stars customer service is

absolutely phenomenal and this spell worked 100% i was even telling my friend and she couldn't believe it when i told her the story of what happened i will be a forever customer you have to know what's happening for you so i guess i'm interested in just what do you think that these people are are uh paying for burning a peat someone's yeah it's it's for it's for cheats it's for cheaters right yeah but what is it doing to these men it's and are these men with 2,000 reviews is there just thousands of men walking around who just one day their penis is what burnt burnt I bet it makes them impotent yeah impotent as in if they can't get one up yeah I think they can't get one up or even make one come out oh that's quite interesting

that's what I'd theorize keeps scrolling through these Julio until we find some interesting oh there's a lot of photos by the way yeah I've wanted to look at the photos. I trusted the reviews, and now I'm a solid customer. These are other things, other products, I believe. Wait, wait, go back. I want to read that. I trusted the reviews, and now I'm a new solid customer.

It worked within the time frame that I was hoping for it to work. My person of interest had an intense urge and craving for me on the second day. He even said he can't explain it. He was rock solid. And he told me that when he thinks about his three people fantasy. Three people fantasy. Three people, all one word. He gets anxious and it just becomes soft.

I purchase this service because that's exactly what I wanted to happen. Well, there's your answer. Okay, so this guy was having a three-person, three-people fantasy. It causes impotence if you are not thinking about this spellcaster. And if you have a three-people fantasy, it will kill your erection quite fast. That expectation had been full suckfest with this picture of this lady. Keep going through the pictures, please. Oh, you want me to read the legal disclaimer?

Keep going. Starting to feel the effects already. X is expressing passion still early on because this was just last week. I'll just keep still and observe his behavior as well. How much is that $25? $3.3.3. These are different products, too. Wow.

They're showing just for every different review from this store. Okay, keep going. Micro blessings have been occurring. This road opener. What is a road opener? Probably opens the road. There's like a closed road around, like construction. Yeah.

So it opens up the road. Well, you just show it to the construction work. You just say, yeah, I've got to go home. Look at that picture. Oh, my God. This has always worked for me. I'm just realizing now, this is not, they're not buying the candle. No, they're buying the service of someone burning it for them.

So that's why I said, okay. This has always worked immediately for me. I'm a repeat customer. I already made a, review before. When I was with my ex, the moment Ms. Gina Lee lit the candle, he came to my house that night, and we had really wild sex, and he said he doesn't understand why

he's so hard. What a romantic thing to say? I don't understand. Why am I so hard? That was a year and a half ago. Now I have a new man. He doesn't have the same sexual drive. We only have sex like once a month. So I ordered this because I knew it worked for me before, and then the night that Ms. Gina Lee lit the candle

again, I can't read this. My man was so aroused. We had more than six rounds. He stayed out of ten. No, that's not what I'm doing. Take your head off. No. That was not me getting aroused, by the way. I love Houdoo RX store.

Oh, that's a cute custom candle. Some of these are just, I guess, custom candle. Yeah. And this is a blessed necklace. Many of these are... Many of these are... Well, no, it was... I think it's a review for...

Your dick is sick. Oh. With a green dick and a vomit emoji. I don't think we can. No, it's censored. We're good, man. I mean, it's just... a fucking candle.

Whoa, it's a video. Yeah. Right on it. I didn't notice that. I thought it was a picture for a second. Why are you so smart? Oh my God. Before it started.

Okay, I want to read this one. For easy, for interest-free payments on Kvara. This is to cause a wimp, stinky, leaky, erectile dysfunction, nasty-ass penis. This is for a cheater, someone who caused an STD, someone who left, someone who cheated on their wife, or someone you just don't like. I just don't like them. I just don't like them. I want the nasty, leaky around this. Man, fuck this motherfucker.

From work. I want to see the negative reviews. There's some really good photos if you keep going through. Oh, yeah, let's look a little of negative reviews. Sort by lowest rating. Shipping took a lot longer than usual. Spell was beautiful, though. Oh, and then Gina Lee's spitting back at him.

Someone please go look at this perfect example of impatient. It's been nine days and we had to boost after you gave him a threatening text. Shipping took longer. Seriously? It's probably annoying. Basically they probably ruined a spell by sending a threatening text to the person who was a target of and they had to boost the spell. And it boosts this one star. I'm not getting this again.

And then Gina Lee says, you actually have to have intercourse in order to get pregnant love. And you also can't be the child that is born to the people you pick to be your parents either. Had I known this was what you were wanting, I wouldn't have bothered it. Wait, what was this person wanting? I want to become a baby and become a pregnant baby. So I got the green penis. Well, I think again, I think these are the story.

True, true, true. That was for Toletiline. I want to become a pregnant baby. Keep going down. I'm not getting this. Wait, no, no, no. It's a different response. No, it was the same.

Again, you actually, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, my bad. Your fun sticker is not the one shown in the picture. Because there are many stickers for Zodiacs. Go at all capitals to be like, first of all, your fun sticker is not the one shown. Plastic puts out toxic fumes, we aren't stupid. Oh, I guess they put the sticker on the thing or something shit. You're never supposed to burn a fun sticker or charms.

That's anti-funn. Yeah. Keep going on. Actually, we get told they smell delicious all the time. I just think you are overall an unhappy crappy person altogether. We love one stars. It doesn't seem like it. Yeah, I know.

I'll be honest. Okay. So the sticker thing again, you can go past. this we don't we don't want to stick her i asked her to cancel and refund me after her saying that her last skull work she cast for me months later didn't work because i didn't deserve love she told someone they didn't deserve love she refused to refund the other speller recast it there was absolutely no contact made to recast or any mention that the spell didn't work for her she went straight to a negative review which doesn't exactly make me want to reach out and

offer anyone any more help especially when coming back after leaving a negative review view and asking for more work. The Diablo was fully refunded as shop owner declined sale. Thankfully, since this wouldn't have manifested for her either, continuously changing her reviews in hopes that we might work with her again and finally change it to one star when we refused for the last time. I will say, this is, it's a very expensive candle. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And it's not even a candle. It's the ritual burning of a candle. Just go through the pictures for a little bit and then we'll stop on some of them because Some of them are really good.

Yeah. Oh, this has Harry Potter. This is one of the same. These are like Charms and Candles. This made my expectation. Ravenclaw. That's a bag. This is some kind of curlicue.

Yeah. Libra. Curlicue. Aries. Very cool. Zodiac Scorpio. I love Gigi the best. That's a car door.

A candle. Yeah, I think these are looped around. Wait, wait. I was looking at some the other day that had some amazing photos. If you go down, there should be like, if you click on one of these, like click on your dick is sick. Incinerator just destroy them. I think you're just

on your dick is sick. Yeah, click on and send it now. Scroll down and there should be like burned alive. Related items. Good God. You may also like, oh yeah, there's more spells down here. Go down. You may also like bigger cock, big thick shaft. Rule your man. Pet play spell. Whoa. Cry for me.

Pet play spell. So these are pretty cheap. Pet play spell is not. Whoa, rock hard spell is 70% off. Wait, well, let's buy that. Yeah, let's buy the rock. Go to bigger cock, rock. Rock hard spell. Oh, he doesn't want to click on a bigger cock, rock hard.

When other magic spells have failed you, powerful black magic spells. I don't know. No, I don't think so. This is a rock hard spell. Can we look at the description of this? Yeah, go down to the description. Bigger cock, rock hard, when other magic spells have failed you, powerful black magic spells. Don't be embarrassed because it's small or doesn't get rock hard anymore.

With this spell, you be bigger. feel like a teenager again. Your partner will be delighted. Our spells work. We are a powerful coven. You can choose to have your spell cast single time where your spell can be triple cast. Or to be cast by our full coven at midnight. This is the most powerful

spell. Oh my God. Triple cast that we are new to Etsy, but we are not new to spell casting. We are three witches, cousins who come from a long line of spell casters. Three cousins casting the rock heart spell at midnight. This has been cast for generations.

Okay, I want to see the reviews on this. Oh, God, they really have a lot to say there. Yeah, let's sort by... There's only three reviews. So it doesn't even matter

that we'd freaking sort by. Yeah, I guess that's true. But I guess these guys are getting fucking bigger, bigger, harder cocks. Went great will see results. It also in largest testicles. Wow.

The person reviewed five stars, went great, we'll see results, and the spellcaster just responded apropo of nothing and said it also in the largest testicles. I feel like that's something

I would want to know before. Yeah, I don't necessarily want that. Imagine they forget to do the cock spell and you only get big balls. My customers are always my most valuable guests. What does that mean? Oh, that's beautiful. Okay, go down.

Let's keep on a recommended item. She's from Sean Baker. Big uncut, softy. Well, no, that seems, I don't think this is a spell anymore. I think this is that's. Yeah, you can't show that. A lot of this stuff you can't show. Yeah.

Wait, just get off of this screen. No, do not click on that. I want to see what male G-d-D-D-Ring is. These are all nudity images. Okay, go back to the recommended ones on this one. Yeah. The, the... Oh, Gris.

Wait, BWC spell. Oh. That looks great. Night with a succubis. Wait, I want Night with a succubes. Yeah. Only 74-85. Night with a succubes.

Only one nice and a succubes. Summon succubes. Powerful spell and physical imbued candle. This has four and a half. This has four and a half. stars. So that in 85. The highlights are that it's designed by mystical Zanami Kane and it's a digital download. Oh. Okay. Night with a succubus. This is ancient sex magic that was used to attract a succubis. Have a one night stand and the best sex of your life with this spell. This will help you

look like your desired appearance. That's good. Five stars, God, I hope it's true. Our spells do not create bad karma. Do you want to have the best sex of your life? Be in bed with the hottest girl you ever seen? Can you read that? Never have to lift a finger to get in bed with an attractive girl. Brag to everyone about your one-night stand. And this spell is for you. Okay, let's see these reviews. Let's go, let's go...

Yeah, let's go one star. Let's go short by lowest rating. Oh, lowest rating is five stars. Wait, what? Zanami is really a good. Wait, wait, let's click on expanding this one. Zanami, uh, never mind. Go down.

Definitely misled by the advertisement says, Gio. Strongest feminization spell. That's what she tried to buy. All right, we'll click on that one now. Yeah. Let's see what that one is. Strongest feminization spell. Sissy spell.

Feminize someone or yourself, powerful spell plus physical imbued candle by mystical Zanami King. If it's a powerful spell, might as well buy it. Yeah. I mean, magic is magic. I just want to be a sissy. Insane power. This is ancient magic that was used to transform your form and shift. Your body will start to change.

Oh, this kind of seems kind of useful. Yeah. I mean, this one seems like if you're going to. Look, do you want to be sissy or be feminized? Or do you want to turn someone else into a sissy? That feels illegal, though. Yeah. You're not supposed to do that.

You want to feminize yourself, be dominated by someone else? Do you want to be pushed over the edge and finally give into it? This spell is for you. What is required? Scroll down here. What is required here? We need your name and your date of birth or your date of birth or your date of birth. Your target's name and date of birth.

I want you to tell your story briefly. Okay. And you did a picture of you too. You need a picture. Yeah, but what if it's someone else? Why don't we need a date of birth or a picture? Many people live in the world, with the same name and surname

directly the energy of the damn. You don't want to get the wrong guy with the sissy spell. Office space Michael Bolton situation. Real shit. Yeah, accidentally feminizing Michael Bolton. That would be fucking so embarrassing. I mean, it would suck also. On all count, because they would somebody,

because Michael Bolton would have a bunch of kind of like doctors who are on him, on his, at his beck and call all the time. They're going to, and they're going to say, well, who feminized Michael Bolton? Yeah. And you're going to have to come forward and say, I wanted my bad. Me, I'm the guy who worked in the office.

Ron Livingston and you will look better than celebrities Milton Waddle the elites don't want you to use this a strongest multi-millionaire that sounds like a nice spell I found this website

a really long time ago that I feel like I think we haven't done anything on it but we probably should what was it? I got it on my laptop but it just reminded changing forms reminded me

this is a similar thing where the funny part is the comments but this website um well by god what's it called it's called spells of magic and it's it's a directory of spells that you can cast and it's like it's like community made wait can we cast some yeah pull to pull this up on the big screen well it's on my little screen send it to i'm just gonna read it just read it just i also i don't want to be personally casting the spells if you would do that it's just uh it's just like it's like yeah it's like people submit their spells and it's like there's no moderation or anything but then there's like a comment section

so this is one is make a TV character real and it says this is this will make a TV character come out of the TV casting instructions when you are in a quiet room with the show or movie playing

say oh the one and only God please make TV character's name come out of the TV I want to hang out with them so moat it be 10 times wait so who could we summon well we're not watching anything right we're watching us but all the comments The comments are, the comments are, the funny thing about all of this whole website, the through line is that every single spell is all like, how to turn it to a werewolf, how to turn into a dress. Everyone wants to transform. And every comment is, this is impossible. You can't transform. Stop posting. This spell does not work.

It's and these are some of the comments they say, it's a mysterious case says no one will belive this one. Yeah. I believe it. I am going to make the tax doctor jump out of the TV if a tax doctor commercial is on when I am with Molly so I will be under the covers of the bed and Molly is going to be on the chair so the tax doctor is not target me but he targets Molly instead. What is the tax doctor?

I don't know it who's Molly. But then here's the response. Someone says, and asterisk's rubs temples. It doesn't work. You cannot pull someone out of the TV nor can you then have it attack someone. Magic doesn't. You've heard it before.

try it and see for yourself it doesn't work and then someone else responded to that and said if it did work can you summon chucky and Annabelle God I hope not I fucking hope this is what atheists are doing all day

is going on the magic spell website and saying you do realize magic isn't real yeah I know is that like there's like a lot of naysayers on this website the rubs temples guys named Nikoshima and someone else commented

Wolfie 13 commented yeah I want this to work but I know it won't so no waste of time. And then Nicosima responds, it says, just a heads up, elongating words is against site rules. That's an amazing rule.

You can't elongate words? Yeah. It's not, you're not allowed to elongate words. Seems like a pretty. Nkoshima's personal bio. I have been studying and practicing for 20 years. I do not teach, so don't ask. If you need help, I will try to answer your question.

I'm married. Please don't flirt with me. hobbies include anime writing taro and cooking don't ask me to do a free reading i do sell readings if you insist on one when online i spend more time looking up information than talking so if you message me or respond but not right away moment tie i've been on this i don't know what that means i've been on this site for many years and have been in many covens some still around some retired i've been in the council of the air element and priestism of divine essence for several years i have provided many spells and articles to the site as well as edited articles.

Currently, I'm a site editor and council member of Divine Essence. Please do not mail me about love spells. There are plenty on the site, and I have added some. If you need a love spells, go to my history tab and scroll down to the bottom. You will find a list of spells. Most of the love spells can be viewed by all. Before doing one, I do suggest performing the candle flame love divination to be sure a spell is really needed. I do not cast for other people.

If you still decide to mail me about providing slash casting spells, they will be ignored. Thank you. Do not mail me about Dragon. magic. It's like more and more than at the bottom it says before you judge a man walk a mile in his shoes.

After that, who cares? He's a mile away. And you've got his shoes. Billy Connolly. P.S. don't let's life's problems got you down. Remember, Moses started out as a basket case. Wait, this is the motherfucker that says

you can't pull SpongeBob out of the TV. Yeah. But they believe in tarot cards and stuff. Do not mail me about dragon magic? Yeah. What the fuck? Who, Billy Connolly, that's the dad from Boondock Saints. Is it really?

Yeah. Become a bird shifter spell. This spell will basically will give you the ability to change your form into a bird. The transformation may take a few days to a week to get all in. Casting instructions. Place a mirror. One, place a mirror in front of you. Okay.

Two, place the two candles around the mirror. Light them. Three, grab the feathers and place it them in front of the mirror. Four, grab a picture of the bird you want to be. Place it facing the mirror. 5. Chant den times. Oh, gods and goddesses, hear my plea. Give me the ability to change form of the bird I've selected thee.

Make me an desired bird name. Oh, please, by the power of three, so moat it be. Blow out the candles and keep the feathers with you. Side effects. Body may feel tingly. Arms and lower back may hurt. Enhanced vision may occur. Sensing better plus others.

This spell was made by me. If you get more side effects on the ones listed here, message me and tell me. There's no way that he's a guy tested this. Jeffrey R comments and says, will I be hunted by other animals? I think that's a strong, I think, yeah. I think that's a strong yes. And then Nicosima responds and says,

you cannot physically transform it to anything because real magic doesn't work that way. Oh my God. There's a lot of people says. Nicosima is such a fucking buzzkill, man. He's literally on every single one. I want to be a bird. I want to hang out with Johnny Test.

If I can figure out how to. to even... Yeah, look up... After that, look up Become Johnny Test spell. Or become... Become Mo. Become Mo.

My cat. Nikoshima has contributed 69 spells. Whoa. Okay, let's see some then. Which do we want? Oil of the four elements. Nine-day job. Love oil.

Goddess oil. Fast money oil. Full moon oil. General healing oil. These are recipes more than spells. Let's see nine-day job, though. I think that might be a spell. They're all spells.

But oil... Oil is... There's a recipe. They're all spelled. But it's how to make an oil. Egyptian child protection. Okay. Let's click on that.

Let's click on that too. I'd like to see what Egyptian child protection is. Let's look a nine day job. First tie a cinnamon stick. Wait, what does it do? It's a recipe. It doesn't say what it does? It doesn't say what it does.

Nine day job. Oh, wait. A job spell that works in nine days. Oh. But it's aided if the castor looks for work as well. That is pretty smart. And you need a cinnamon stick. Well, what's the whole spell?

Your mom walks in on you fucking do with this. I'm looking for a fucking job. First tie cinnamon stick and hide on the conquer route with thread, then anoint with three kings oil and place in drawstring bag. Where the fuck am I getting three kings oil? From the rest of his spells. From the rest of his spells. Add a little more three kings oil.

Three kings oil is that lest. He seems to be very oil. Oh, Egyptian child protection has been marked private by the leaders of the Coven of Divine Essence. What the fuck? Coven leaders may choose to make certain items private. If you would like to read this item, You can either join the covenant of the divine assets.

I don't want to join. I'm scared. What else does Nico Chima? Spirituality oil, sexual energy oil, protection. I'm interested in that. OD-D-3N confidence tea. Money jar. Money jar.

Let's hit money jar. Money jar. To attract extra cash for you. Put all items in. Okay. Okay. You will need the following items for this spell. Five pennies, five nickels, five quarters.

One jar. Dude. Money jar. The whole point is I don't have fucking money. Five teaspoons of allspice. With the money? Five grains of rice. Five grains of rice.

Jesus. Five cinnamon sticks. I have all that at home. There's one called tobacco water. Tobacco water I'm interested in. It's private. It's because kids could read it. It's because kids can read it.

Nicosima is at least responsible. Show me the same. Sex oil. Legal victory. Sexual energy oil. In court case spell by light, dark castings. Okay.

For interest-free payments of $25. Yeah. I'm trying to get to the profile of the person who's making all of the transformation spells, but it doesn't show. Show us the legal one again.

Whenever you get a chance with you. Yeah, this person, they don't have a profile page. No. But there is, there's a whole, there's many different categories spells um on this site didn't work at all no help it didn't have any effect on me on the contrary he left for another woman whoa my god they say it takes six to the 12 weeks so you can't leave your review anyway everything is for entertainment purposes of course you're entertained thinking it's

going to work ha ha ha dude you you're salty thank you for sharing your feedback i understand your frustration but i must clarify some points firstly did you follow the did you follow us the warnings, did you follow us the warnings and instructions of your spell? Absolutely no. Summoning the dragon god. I want to hear this one. The comments, there are no dragon gods.

This is fake. Is that Nkoshima again? Nikoshima says, well, dragon magic is a personal path and there are variations. I've never heard of any of the dragons mentioned in this, which leads me to believe it's fake. But it could work for some, I suppose. I'm just very skeptical because I've never met or heard of a dragon god. Only the

elemental dragons that rule over their specific Elements. Okay, sorry. So what dragons are you referring to that you've met? There's so many dragon spells. Make a dragon come to you. Cyball. Cyball.

Rage. Wage. Fick on rage. Makes you go in rage. Okay. Okay. What's the rest of casting instructions for rage? Chant.

Rage is powerful. Give me the power of the dragonus lord. Okay. Let's do it right now. Well, now, Nikoshima says, say this chant and go into a rage. Doubtful. But you might use this as a chant in a spell and it might work for. you on its own it does nothing try it i forget it rage is powerful give me the power of the

dragonus lord you know that's a demerit right tickling is not a tickling is a dimerickling makes you smile tickling is a demerit how that's that's fucking bullshit it's a demerit it's a demerit this is that was his first demerit that was his first demerit i just remember his first demerit i was in I'm choosing myself from this. Okay. Casting instructions for skunk transformation spell. Say this three times. Spirits of the skunk.

I ask you, gift me something nice and new. One of you I want to be, for this is something I do agree. I will be able to shift into my skunk form at will. I promise I won't go overkill. I will have two forms. One skunk, one human,

which will soon be a norm. This is my wish. I want gifted to me. This is my will. So moat it be. side effects headaches migraines nausea dizziness blurry vision weak limbs bone aches tingling strange sensations and burning

tadashi you cannot physically transform into a skunk dude all these people it's so funny to have a website that's called spells of magic dot com every comment is saying spells are not real you can't use magic

please stop casting this it won't work like why are you guys even on this website if you're just going to come in debunk. Okay, give me, you want, here's a bunch of categories. Love spells, health spells, spiritual spells, trick spells, well spells, beauty spells, luck spells, life spells, weather spells, fantasy spells. Let's see a trick spell. Trick spells. Yeah. Okay, out of trick spells. We got flying spells, illusion spells,

invisibility, teleconetic, teleportation, or time. Invisibility. Invisibility. Invisibility. Let's see here. Okay, I'm going to read it. Danny Phantom ghost spell. Does that sound good to you? I want to turn invisible. Well, this sounds like, this sounds close to being invisible. Danny Phantom turns into a half a half ghost. like from the TV show Danny Phantom. Okay. Well, it says to say, it says to say this 10 times.

I think it'll work if you to say it. Okay. Just say. Can you hold my computer normal? So you don't, can you. Let me, I can hold it.

I can hold it. I can hold it. Gods and goddesses hear me plea. I ask you this very day, grant to me to become half ghost, like from the TV show, Danny Phantom. I shall be able to transform.

to a ghost it will. To transform, I simply shall say I'm going ghost. While in ghost form, I shall have gray hair and glowing green eyes with a black jumpsuit with gray boots, collar, and belt, and forearm-length gloves.

I shall be able to possess anyone I wish. As both human and ghost, I shall have the ability of flight and invisibility and green energy blasts as well. As enhanced agility, enhanced agility and strength. I shall be

able to walk through walls or any types of objects. So is my will. So moat it be to transform, say I'm going ghost to transform back. Just simply think about it. This spell should work in less than a week. Last than a week. And you have to say that ten times.

You have to say that ten times. What do I say I'm going ghost? Don't do what. I'm going ghost. Dude. Ha ha. No. That's a cartoon. You're human and magic doesn't work that way. You cannot be half ghost but I mean technically you are since you have a spirit look into astral projection I can say because I'm going ghost you're you're not I'm going ghost I can still touch you

kids who are trying to live your dream sorry you can't become a half ghost I can't I'm going ghost you're human and always will be you really am you're getting really close to 10 you need to stop a thousand times no you have to say the whole thing 10 times I'm going ghost it's not going to do anything you're going to say it 10 time right now and it's not going to change I'm going ghost okay and then we'll just edit me out. Vaporize an enemy. No.

You got a lot of work to do this episode earlier. A lot of video work. Vaporize an entity. I want to hear this one. No. Clear your mind of everything but your enemy and this spell. Then say, be gone. Name of enemy.

Vaporize. That's it. Beyond Patrick. Wond optional. Don't do that, man. That's disparaging. This does not work. You cannot vaporize an enemy with magic.

I think so far we've been proving this guy right, to be honest. None of these spells. I wonder if there's an... Nicosimi, is that his name? Nikoshima. You know what? We need a peace spell. I would like to read this piece spell to close us out. Well, there's a lot of different piece spells.

Give us a peace spell for the world. Yeah. And then we'll check in next episode to see if it worked. We have a lot of options. We could do bowl of good cheer, egg bath for peace. Egg bath for peace. How to get magic, ghostly candle,

hearthstone blessing complete peace dark curse send love to another we don't want dark curse I guess wait we should jam jar spell wait actually we should cast

an evil spell on the world dark curse yeah let's cast dark curse to curse someone who has tried to torment you okay well you need an effigy for this one we have an effigy

we gotta pick a different one this one isn't as good cooling your anger curse breaker cures some pain let's check out the egg bath for peace well I'm guys

we need an egg. Three eggs. Fuck. And there's not even any prayer of the Native Americans, peace for squabbling siblings. Peace for squabbling siblings. The bag of stability. Let's do peace for squabbling siblings. Let's see what's up with the piece for siblings.

You need fucking a million candles. A million candles. Is there any spells that were different colored ribbon for each sibling? Look up three microphones spell. All right. Let's do that one. Three microphone spell. See if there's anything like that.

You need a lot of candles for this. We need no. gear. We need... Then the demon should show its approval by nodding. We need pantry ingredients. Get a bowl of blood and place a booger from your victim into the bowl of blood. Is this blood bugger spell?

Get the dry poison made from the liver of a puffer fish and blow it in your face and this should cause you to faint. This is the demon way. Are they talking about that fucking Japanese puffer fish that costs a million dollars? Protection spell. Draw down the moon. I mean, there's too many options. I think peace spell

is beyond our purview. I'm going to go for you know what protection spell that's similar okay okay I just want to find one that's just a chant yeah we just need a simple chant like the danny phantom one pumpkin protection jar well that's gonna be a jar yeah and a pumpkin as well you need a dead fly for it as well we can get a dead fly riding around your world over there for a second oh this is perfect uh to protect an item or object you will need the following items for this spell voice wow got it so we just you just have to pick it You don't have to say it. Just once you read the spell, this is for Caleb.

Oh, okay. You said you wanted to read the object should I pick. Well, just read the chant and put in whatever object. You can surprise us. But it would be nice if it was the world, but. Oh, yeah. Dragon brave and dragon wise. Let nothing escape your watchful eyes.

I request aid in protective power. The world is entrusted to your care. Whoa. Permit no harm come to the entire. world in your presence may all evils take flight no baneful creature born of flesh nor spirit may touch the entire world and the humans on it nor even come near it may those that would bring harm be filled with fright and alarm wow so yeah we'll see if that well see if that solves the world if there's been we'll just we'll keep track if there's any harm if there's no bad things

that happen in the world for the next and there's no comments on this one so nikoshima has not So it's entirely possible that it works in a regular way. It's very likely. In terms of a spell. It's very likely. And we have not even, let me say we have not even scratched the surface of this website. I think we could easily, easily come back to it. If it's so, I like casting spells.

All right. What's going on? Boston show made 23rd. 23. Go buy a ticket to that on swag poop.com slash shows. That's coming up. Really is coming up. It should be very fun.

One month from today. one no tomorrow yeah well the day that this comes out wow wow one month from today

crystal ballroom in summer crystal ballroom very exciting ballroom yep we've never played a ballroom

before no and you better it's formal yeah it's a formal if you show up in a tuxedo as well yeah that would be cool

yeah that would be actually cool as fun and gowns beautiful gown yeah if you and your partner show up in a beautiful gown or tuxedo two tuxedo

or two gowns or one tuxedo, one gown, or three tuxedos and one gown. All right. I don't know what your situation is like, but if you do any of that, you get to kiss Cameron in front of his wife. Not going to happen. It's going to happen. No, that's a full. That's an easy demerit for both of you. Me, but what of me and Pat dress up in tuxedos and then we get to kiss you?

It's completely different. You know it. Okay. But can I get a merit for that idea because that's cute? you have to put ketchup on your burger all right I'll put some cola

do you want the bottle too yeah put a bottle next to it yeah yeah put ketchup right on top of the bun or on top of the hand that's grabbing the bun it's a horrible way to eat a burger

on the burger sounds so bad you don't even taste it's gonna get into your mouth I guess that's a good point put my fingers in my mouth when I eat all right so the final demerit score Julio with one Yeah, but he narrowly avoided another one

The audience with one Hulu and the audience are tied But the audience has also got P'd on The audience is so honestly I feel like out of That is enough disrespect I'm not sure we needed to merit For the audience

Yeah Patrick I know it looks like he has It's actually 10 But one is them is very thick And then also a bonus P merit And also to be honest He really only had two It's only two.

But we decided, including the P. That's true. Those were stink lines from his big wide demerit. Well, no, no, no, no, no, it was one, it was one demerit only. It was one thick demerit. Those were all stink lines. Oh, yeah. So it's just one.

But then he got a merit. You got a merit, so it took away. Okay. So you're at zero. You're at zero. Well, no. And a P merit. You have the P merit.

But that's a separate. So I have one. Zero demerits, one P merit. But you do have an interesting piece of art here. Yeah. Cam with two. And then. you know, by far the most is going to me.

I have four demerits and a hamburger with a hand with ketchup being squirted on the hand, which I would say is, it's not a demerit. It's not as bad as a P merit. It's interesting. It's interesting. But four genuine demerits. Yeah. Genuine.

Why did I know that I was going to end up with the most? You just have an attitude problem. You make your own decisions about your behavior. Why am I like this, man? Why am I so demeritus? That's a question you have to answer for yourself. Yeah. Perhaps in conversation with a license.

Therapist. All right. It's not a bad idea. All right. See you in Boston. Goodbye. Give me one movie that you think is impossible to make funny. I mean.

Oh, Looney Tunes. Looney Tunes Back in Action. Looney Tunes Back in Action. What happens in that? Oh, no, no, no. Anchorman. Anker Man, you could have him sit on a whoopee cushion when he sits down on the newscaster chair. Thank God.

See, that'd be funny. I thought, dude, I thought you weren't going to do it. Anchorman, too, he could have a, there could be something invented between one and two. That's good. That's really good. I like that. I'm going to stop you there. I actually had a good idea.

40-year-old virgin. 40-year-old virgin, he could fucking nut instantly as smooth as he's born. I guess he could. That'd be pretty funny. He could know as soon as he's born. He's born in the movie. so one minute's movie and he technically loses

virginity to his mom when he's born that is a comedy that's a French comedy yeah yeah