Podcast About List - Ep. 339 - A Sprinkle of Neill ft. Neill Lynskey

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

Old friend of the show joins us after a long long long time to talk to us about friendship, McDonald's and something else. It's Neill, y'all.Follow Neill on InstagramGo to Neill's show on 5/22Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

And room tone. Let's get it. You still can't hear it even if I put it. It won't even matter. Well, let's get some room tone in case he'll says something crazy. First of all, we've had this on for every time we've done the podcast for years. Not true. Yes, true.

We always have it on the summer. It's not that. Oh, wait, is that one on? We always have, we put them all on. They're connected. You put to one to on. Oh, my God. That's never worked before for me.

I turn, usually I'll turn, I have to like go up to them individually. There's a delay, bro. Oh, my God. There's a fucking delay. Man, what an exciting start. We're really off to the races today. Yeah. We're joined by Neil Linsky.

Neil Linsky. Our close, good friend. I haven't seen you in a long time, actually. I know, man. How are you doing? We'll get into it later. We're in it. No, no, no.

We do. usually 10 minutes of silence. Oh, right. That's what I was saying. To honor the new pope. Oh, that's why. Oh, my God. Yeah, the new pope.

What are your thoughts on him? Let's hear it. Well, I looked him up because my mom was like, maybe he's liberal or whatever. And I looked him up. And the only thing that's kind of notable on his Wikipedia page was like, ardent defense of child abuse.

That's going to be a problem with probably all of them. I know. Any candidate. That's like why. That's an attractive item to the people who are one of them. That's what I started texting my mom. I'm like, well, that's not, like, I was about to say, like, we can't hate on him for that. Like, it's fine.

It's like, no, that's wait, no, it's like, American Pope. Yeah. American Pope. I wish it was the Filipino guy, honestly. Yeah, did you see a video of him dancing today? Yeah. It was awesome. I really was, I really wanted a black Pope.

I was hoping for an African Pope. I really badly wanted one. I don't think that will ever happen, honestly. But why? I think it has happened before, has it not? No, there's never been a black Pope. No. Okay.

I mean, there might have been, but it might be how they, like, Mozart might have been black or whatever. Did they tell you this? Yeah. I was telling you that on like a street corner in Central Park. A bunch of guys

dressed as Egyptians. You're like, I didn't know that. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, really? Watched a movie about about an African Pope. And in the movie,

he says, I'm actually not the first African Pope. So I'm trusting that movie. Dude, that's like a thing. Respect for that. I like that you trust movies. Wait, what movie?

It was called the Pope drops in. You won't have heard of it, man. Is he skateboarding? What's he doing? He's dropping in. Yeah. Where's you dropping in? I don't, just don't have family.

This is one of those movies where they're like... Well, they go on a road trip and then there's a guy turns out to be an angel. It's a whole thing. This is one of those movies where it's like a studio finds out that they're making another movie. The Pope drops in. They find out that they're making another movie and then they're like, we got to get ahead of this. So they heard that Conclave was coming out. And then they were like...

Yeah, I think this was quite before Conclave. It looks pretty. They got the jump. It's a few years. Wait, can you go back to it? Yeah, it's like 2021, maybe. They got the jump on Conclave. Four out of 10.

Oh, 203, actually. The Pope is kidnapped by his crazy Michael Angelica Well, think about that name for a second Oh my God Michael the angel Wow Then if you want to watch this movie

You can check out Movie Mondays on the page Yeah, we don't have to talk about that anymore Oh that's what you guys do? Yeah Him and Julio do that They illegally watch a movie What illegal movie website do you use

I guess you can't Don't want to say I mean they're just to be Take them from Tubey Okay It's illegal to put it censored this out we're not we're not letting them know

where we put it but it's on reminds it rhymes with Blatryon Blatryon I opened up Blatryon interesting Blatryon I was thinking

Balatro we're talking about the African Pope putting the African Pope movie on I would put a lot of money in Blatryon okay

that's really good for you I'm really happy for you well speaking of that there was this one time I was at I was waiting for red arrow diamond I was like waiting in the line

and this guy told me that there was a the first black president was not Obama. There was actually an African man who was president before George Washington. A secret president? I believe he told me to look him up. Did you look him up? I did look him up and it was just like

I think it was just like what did you look up though? His name. I forget the name. President before George Washington. Black president before Obama before Washington. I mean, there must, they have to have had a secret president that everyone in charge was like,

we're going to do a secret president that we won't reveal for 100 years. We're going to do it real quick right now. That makes it. They were very cryptic about a lot of stuff that would be in line. I feel like that. Coded messages. If you worked at whatever shadow government is above the executive branch, wouldn't you just be like, yeah, we're going to, let's do some

secret. Let's just do some guys. As even just to have it in the documents. These guys are legally and technically presidents. Yeah, who do you think Founding Father? I don't know enough about Founding Fathers to pick a funny one. Matthew Thornton. Button, Gwinnett.

That's the New Hampshire one, right? No, Button Gwinnett is Georgia. Matthew Thornton's a New Hampshire one. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's a real guy? Yeah, Button Gwinnett is like Gwinnett County in Georgia. Yeah. He's also, I only know about him because he's in Fallout 3. Oh, okay, yeah, I wouldn't know.

Gwinnett, not, Gwinnett would be a strange last name. Yeah. But you almost don't notice it if your first name is Button. Is he like a Huguenot or like a French? No, he might be. He's not a Huguenot. He was born on Earth. He was one of the biggest guys.

You don't know. He was a huguenot. He was a huguenot. He was one of the biggest. He was a hugeonauter. He was a big fan of his father. He was the biggest guy. He was the biggest guy.

That's what they let him sign. He had no political affiliation. They were just like, oh, we've got to get a tall guy on here. Why did the Pope, I just learned about this white smoke thing. Yeah. What is that about? I don't know. Why don't they just send about?

You just learned about the white smoke? Yeah, I never really paid attention. The white smoke is one of the things, one of those things that I learned about from really annoying people on Twitter. Yeah. Basically, I would say once a week, somebody says. They're just Catholics on Twitter. Well, no, just somebody always, it's a really, it's one of those premises for a joke that everyone is always thinking that they'd got to. I had never even heard of it.

Yeah. Where they say, oh, green smoke just came out and now they're choosing a new master chief something like that I've seen many of that

that would be cool though that would be cool but they're not going to choose a new master chief what they should do is the smoke should be the old Pope's body I'm not even joking

I'm not even joking like it's religious like that that is absolutely what they should do what they do to quigong gin and episode I mean, it is a good point that that smoke is nothing. It's just smoke.

Of course, it was the old guy's body. Yeah. Yeah, you've got to laying around. Fucking throw it in the oven. Yeah. I mean, the smoke coming out. He looks so bad. I mean, he died.

So he's like to look great. Francis? Yeah. Like, I didn't check in on him for a couple years. And he, like, really ballooned up. I didn't realize he was the pope for 13 years or something. Yeah, there was a pope that died 13 years ago. I forgot about that.

Well, I also like that the pope who. Yeah, I saw, I, I would, my, this is this, what number Pope is this? In your lifetime? Like a million. No, no. Yeah, there's like hundreds of, in our lifetimes. I didn't know there was so many. There's three now.

This is the third. This is not the third pope. What do you mean? Our lifetime. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was, this is the 267th Pope. But wasn't there a post that only served like two years and fucking died at some point in like the 2000s?

Say again. Wasn't there like a two year pope? There's been a lot. There's, fun stories like there's really fun story of one guy who wrote a letter to like you know some pope or whatever and had like really good complaints I guess so they brought him there and they made him the pope and then as soon as he was like locked in he wrote a new law that said you didn't have to be pope I mean it would suck to be pope yeah I don't think so you don't really have to

do anything but you have to stay in that little ass shit room you can't fuck anymore you can pick whatever you want you're kidding so like but everyone's gonna judge your ass for I do remember when when Francis became the Pope, and John Paul had loved, or was he, was he John Paul? Benedict, okay? Pope Benedict, yeah, yeah, yeah. He had, like, a throne, a gungent throne, and then Francis had just, like, a white chair. It's such a, yeah, yeah, okay, so the guy's bad taste. You can instantly be ston.

Oh, he went to IKEA for your fucking Pope shit. And he wore, like, the red slippers everywhere that were apparently really rare or something. Like, rare red slippers. But then I was reading about it because he retired. Yeah, he met the line. and the tin man. The funny thing about him was that he, yeah,

he didn't die. He was alive up until like five years ago or whatever. And he was also a Hitler youth, which was an interesting thing. Who was this? Benedict. Oh my God. And if you look at him,

he's the most evil. They voted him out? No, he resigned. He was like, when we were growing up, there was so many pictures that was like a picture of Palpatine

and a picture of him. Yeah. And he did look either. I just remember. True. Yeah, I couldn't have, I couldn't visualize him, but now that you said that, I do remember these pictures.

He looked you just like him. He had a big brow ridge that was really creeping over it. It was John Paul was the one. John Paul died in 04, something like that. I think so. I don't know. I just remember a teacher crying. He was the one who had the really great reputation. And then after he died, all the spotlight petapal stuff came out. Yes, exactly. Spot was reputation while he lived. It was Pope Jew warrior. But this Pope stuff is going to be old news by the time this episode.

It's true. This comes out next Wednesday. On Wednesday. The Pope lives forever. Something big could change. This is going to be gone by the time that's what it comes out. Dude, imagine a Pope's assassination. By the time that this episode comes out, I'm calling this right now,

there will have been four African popes. Really? Guarantee it. I hope. That's it. Lock in now. Has anyone ever tried to assassinate the Pope? Yeah, that's what they had a whole mobile.

Well, depending on what you're kind of... Like a whole mobile for him. Yeah, they had the bulletproof car. depending on what your threshold of effort is, then yeah, I've tried. You can kind of reach towards... Dear God, please. I'm not today.

Yeah. Because, I mean, if you think about it and then you, like, go in the general vicinity of a person that could be an assassination attempt. That's such a great point that you've made, Cameron, is that the assassination attempt that we usually think that it starts

at a missed gun shot. No, it's a long process. Yeah. It could be walking out your door and then just cut millions of us it's like now that I'm back inside

I don't make some soup yeah assassins do fucking love soup yeah yeah real shit it's because they live kind of meager lifestyles

they do I mean look at Travis Bickle probably soup with no chunks as well he tried to eat his hand he put his hand

over the stove that is like one of the most gluttonous things you could do oh I'm so hungry I want to eat my own

I wonder if there's been an assassin that was like a you know wealthy businessman who was just really frustrated or something. Like not a derelict, you know, guy

I guess it's usually a guy who's pretty down in the dumps. Yeah, but that'd be cool if it wasn't if it was someone who was someone completely sound fun. About John Wilkes Booth is how he was like a semi-popular actor. Like he was like, he was like, no. But there were also less people

back then. Yeah, yeah. Semi-popular was kind of the floor on but there was no TV. So to get your name out there. That's like Clint. That's like Clint Howard's That's like Clint Howard shooting somebody

Because nowadays you can You can film a movie For an hour and a half Ron Howard's brother One continuous take You film an entire movie And then that movie

can be shown On 100,000 screens That's true But then if you wanted 100,000 people to see your movie You had to do it 100,000 times

That's true So he was put in the fucking work Yeah That was like in the assassination In Jesse James Have you seen that movie? It's a really good movie And then the assassins

The Real People who did it acted it out in a play that had like a run like for months and they just back in in the 1800s they didn't have much in the way of like laws and stuff yeah it was the wild west there wasn't that many cops yeah so you could get a lot of way with the irish i mean they were that was kind of pre-cops like they were basically cops like the jesse james gang you just kind of shoot if somebody's robbing your train you just fight them yeah that's the have you haven't seen that movie no it's so good because it's like accurate where they're both It's sort of like rocks and shit.

So they shoot someone and it kind of like just hurts them. It's back when a gunshot was like a bad punch. You knock that shit off. That kind of a thing. Oh, wait, this is like this is like muskets and shit? No, it's like little cowboy pistols. Like they get on a train with a real long barrel. Yeah.

And you see it in the movie, they literally go like, oh, geez. What did you do that for? Come on. You bastard. You damn coward. It's a sick movie. That's an amazing movie to watch on a plane. Yeah.

Because it's three hours. It's on almost every plane. That's, I'm taking a flight tomorrow. I'm gonna fucking watch this. My plane. My plane movies are, uh, that one. Avatar the Way of Water. I was like, what's, that one?

That one. It's got a long name. It's about a cute, it's about a cute little alien. That one. And then I got, it's about picking a dog. I got stars born and I got Spanglish with that. Oh, yeah, that's good. Those are some amazing.

On a flight to Texas, I watched Going Overboard and the Social Network on the way there. Social Network on the plane screen. Yeah. What's going overboard again? That's a Goldie Hawn. Eight miles is an amazing plane movie. It's another, like, it's on every plane.

Yeah, 8 Mile is a good one. And you're on the plane the hold I'm going. Yo-ho! Yeah, looking around and the headphones in. Clarence. Y'all got to hear this shit, unplug the headphones. Do you know, Spoofer? Do you know Cheddar bomb?

Look at this shit. Look what they're doing to him. Cheddar Bob. Dude, oh my God. Guys, Cheddar Bob just shot himself on the leg with his own burn down the fucking house.

Oh my God. He's telling the whole plane about the movie. You're fucking. Oh. Wait, who the fuck is rabbit? Oh.

Who's rabbit? Why did him and him not do any more amazing acting series? He's so good in that movie. It's like the Prince movie where I'm just going to do my thing and leave.

It would be really. Obviously, he was kind of playing. a version of himself, it would be really funny if he did that and then like really took it to heart that he was like

going to be a successful actor and like played like a robot and he self-funded a place like an American right now like a Russian peasant from like the 1500s I'm trapped here in Lithuania he's a surf

man this is whack man he surfed him shit's fucking whack I dude he would have been so good in the expendables three you would have been That would have been...

When he first got the black goatee. Yeah. Him as a computer's guy in the Expendables 3. Oh my God. I got you. I got you on the hacking. Why didn't he become like Andre 3,000 or whatever?

Just like being movies on the side. He should be a more movie. That'd be cool. Because he only plays himself for comedic effect. He pretends to be gay in a movie. The interview. He's done that a couple times. Yeah.

Okay. I feel like that is a multiple times. And I think it's all Judd Apatow behind the behind scenes making him funny people he's in that too. He's in funny people wearing little glasses.

Yeah, he's wearing little glasses and he's in there in a restaurant eating food. He's got, he's doing his David Foster Wallace look. It's a good look on it. It is a good look.

Everything's a good look on him. Yeah. And they both killed D.F.W. Hmm? I just said they both killed themselves. I'm predicting the future of. Eminem thought of a bar

so incredible. Did you see that cake that he had for his birthday? M&M? You were his birthday? You went to his birthday? Oh, JFL. Talk about it.

You brought it up, man. Yeah. It was like, this sounds fake. It was a pile of spaghetti. Look it up, look it up. It was a cake that to look like a pile of spaghetti. The mom spaghetti. It tastes like spaghetti or it was supposed to look like it. I think he, when we were in Detroit, Steve was telling us that there was a restaurant.

Yeah, there's a restaurant called a mom spaghetti. Oh. He opened a restaurant called mom spaghetti. It sells like shitty spaghetti meatballs. That was his best. That was his best. That's just a plate of spaghetti. I mean, it's as you described it.

I should have just, yeah, that's it. I wonder if he ever had a, you know, the obvious one. Yeah, Eminem. An Eminem. An Eminem kick. Oh, my God. What if there was Eminem meatballs in the spaghetti cake? Has he even collabed with the M&Ms yet?

Or is he disaffraid? Has he collabed with the M&Ms yet? He could now. I think he's going to take the Snoop Brad. There's never movie theater commercials or something. I remember correctly, there was like a, like a M&M that had a do ragg gone and was supposed to be him. I guess he must have done it once,

collab with him once back when he was first popular. And that's just the type of thing where you're just expected to do that forever. Yeah, I mean, he stole your fucking name from them. That's true. I was sitting on the toilet the other day and I knew this at some point in my life, but I then later independently

the other day figured out that his name is Marshall Patterson. Oh, that's good. You were looking at pictures of him on the toilet. Because I was like, he's like, just a, like, why would he do that? He seemed like you went on a deep old name. It's like, we really dropped into it. What is his name and what does it take was like?

When was his birthday? The cake was a couple months ago. Me realizing his name. Birthday cakes were guys named Marshall. Marshall's birthday cake. But he owns a spaghetti restaurant. Yeah, that's right. It's like, uh, why?

They do like ramen noodle cups full of spaghetti. Yeah. Because of the line and, uh, the line and lose yourself. in a YouTube video. He said it was not that good in terms of spaghetti. Yeah. I'm sure it's not.

Yeah. The, uh, you think that he's going to take the Snoop Dog route soon and just be in every commercial. I think he's done that kind of, yeah. Isn't he in commercials? Not so much.

He's kind of. I feel like he had like an axed body spray commercial or something. He's a little reclusive. I feel like he's like slightly reclusive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's still a little bit of an idea that he's like edgy.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, because he's like a guy in the head. Yeah, so you got killed someone, didn't you? Yeah, he killed somebody. He was the sketchers. Eminem came back and released his song about how he isn't even down with SJW culture.

Wait, what? We talked about this song. It was recent. I don't think I couldn't handle it. He said he broke my heart. Knowing that he's not on my side. He said fuck his own kids. Yeah, he did say fuck.

Well, okay. Not like that. Not like old Eminem. Marshall. Old Emily to finally admit it. I want to fuck my own kids. My own. Slim Shady would.

Slim Shady would say that. Marshall would never. No, he would never do that. But Slim Shady actually was back for the last album. It was the death of Slim Shady. It was kind of a send off for the character. And now he's back to,

now he's going to start doing some. Well, he does music for Venom. Now he's going to become a crooner. Oh, yeah, that's right. He does music for Venom. Venom with my venom. That's one of the most amazing songs. Yeah.

But yeah, I think that's his, I think that's his cash grab more than the commercials. Yeah. Doing songs for Venom. Yeah. Well, he did a song for all the venom. He's done a couple of movie songs. Yeah, yeah.

What are the names of the songs? Venom? Venom. Venom. More? Then I think the other ones. Venom versus carnage. I think he did.

Maybe he did one for the second one too. The venom sting. But I think that it maybe wasn't, it was like not Venom themed and they just like used the song because he had a venom theme song in the first one. They were like, he just had another M&M song. All about black goo. A black goo. I told you, I think I've definitely told you guys about this, but I miss heard it.

an Eminem lyric, the one without me, where I thought that he said Elvis drank black juice and died on the toilet. Wait, we just talked about Eminem yesterday. I just realized. Caged Elf. Oh. God. I'm not sure if I brought up, but I walked into a theme. We've been talking about it for the past 10 minutes

and I didn't even realize. Has he done anything recently? He's brought it up for you guys? No. No, we just, you know, he's... Cameron remembered a lyric. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're not just going to do it again. No, no. We can't do it. But I do it. I do feel like I want to explain it to Neil. I remembered an M&M lyric.

It was a really good lyric. I don't want to say it because we already said it. We can't even repeat material. We can't even repeat the lyric. God, I really want to tell you. It was interesting that we've both, I thought that you had a misheard lyric.

No, I remember everything perfectly. But it was a real lyric. And I was like, again, we're not going to tell you what the lyric was. No, but I remember exactly what it was.

Yeah. You're going to have to figure that out. Don't even bother asking. I've been living with this for years, you know. I've lived with all you guys. In fact, if you want to know what the lyric

is you have to subscribe to the Patreon in here last. Oh wow, that's a really good previous premium episode. I have to go on. Fuck. I have to go pay. We'll text you the lyric after this is over. You will learn, but not right now. I'm holding my credit card shaking. Please just let me know.

Someone signed me up. Put it right in front of that camera. I had an insane Google Maps grievance that I wanted to share because I thought it was so ridiculous. Yes. And this is a, this, I can't believe that this is a feature that Google Maps has. So I was going to go somewhere and I was getting on the, I was about to get on the train.

Trains not running to where I need to go. So I'm going to like, okay, I'll take a bus instead. I go on my phone. I have, you know the thing where it's like you go to the tap in the address and it says like auto fill from calendar and you see the address? So it's like, and it said the full address there, number street, everything. I click on that. It auto fills and it just like it like, it starts.

So it shows me a route and it just shows me a bus. And I'm like, okay, cool. The bus is right there. I just go and hop on the bus. then after like a little bit of being on the bus I'm like this I kind of feel like I'm not going the right way what's going on here and then I go look at the route and the map the auto fill

had only auto filled it didn't auto fill the address it only auto filled the word Brooklyn even though I showed the whole address and the Google Maps literally was taking me on a route to the word to the word you should have gone like literally just like the label it was a line it was a line that just went to the word

It stopped directly at the word, Brooklyn. That sucks. That sounds like the beginning of a secret amazing quest. You learn the beginning. You see the letters when you got there? I didn't even make it there. I had to switch and go where I was at. But I was like,

whoever in the universe has tried to just go to that. That's got to be an AI thing. Can they not just have a pop-up that's like, hey, just so you know there's no address? Yeah. You didn't put in an address. Damn. I'm going to know where it was taking you, though.

Brooklyn. I know. It was probably, if you go on Google Maps and you see where Brooklyn is, it was definitely like downtown Brooklyn, right? Yeah, yeah, for sure. Sometimes I'll click on that or like I'll put an address in from like the internet, like somewhere I looked up.

It's on Atlanta. I was going to say is it the Barclay Center? It's by Barclay Center kind of. Because they have that big sign that's a St. Andrew's playground on Atlantic Avenue. Yeah. That's where it was right on the border. But it was literally just a line going to that word. It was taking a little little rich kid named

Brooklyn. I can't imagine why anybody would need to go there. But also that you could auto fill, and instead of auto filling the address, it just auto fills Brooklyn. I want to go to Brooklyn. Yeah, just how do I get to Brooklyn? Take me there. I want to go to us.

But this, I'm warning everybody, careful of the auto fill feature on Google Maps and may betray you. I don't like that shit when I'm driving. And the Google Maps once, I click the thing and it says, oh, man, it's a 15-minute walk. Yeah. And it wants me to go up in a one-way. road the wrong way in my car well then you just click the car button yeah but that's like extra clicks and shit or not if you touch it then a cop could see you touch it and then you'd

get in trouble i get so nervous when i drive thinking that a police officer's going to know what i'm doing on my phone yeah a couple months ago i was driving in new jersey and i just was like maybe 20 minutes away from my parents house and i gave me the route home and it's like yeah it's not a long drive and it kept taking me like up to like the woods and it had like like blocks you know and I just kept redoing it and it would put me in a circle and like it was trying to get me driving to like ponds basically and I I had it on the walking setting for like 25 minutes that was so funny there's like woods on the other side of my house you can't even explain that either because everyone's just going to be like what

yeah and I was driving around like quiet neighborhoods a lady walked out of her house because I had driven five times and it's like that thing I just can't Sorry, I thought I was walking. I got, like, so, like, nervous. It's just, like, you can't explain, like, oh, I'm really dumb. I accidentally put it on walking. I'm not driving into your house, like, five times. And it was long enough, but I was just, like, sweating.

Yeah. Did they used to be your road here? Yeah. Why? Are they super territorial about, like... My parents? No, no, no, like, in Jersey, in Jersey about... In anywhere that isn't in a city, people are, like...

Yeah, yeah. In New Hampshire, it's really bad where, like, you, like, go into something. If you need to like turn around, you get a shotgun pole then you can go, you'll go into someone's driveway and then they'll like open the door and just fucking like look at you. Like that's happened like a few times. I mean, that's what you're supposed to do if you own a house. Well, just like that's like one of the special prizes you get. Yeah. You get to get a little bit. It's your territory. You need to think Ruby Ridge for like one second. It doesn't. Yeah. Obviously you're not going to do anything and obviously they're not actually encroaching on it. But you do do something. You do get to go out and look at them. Except that. does, like, home invasions do happen. Well, but they don't go into your driveway to do a home invasion usually. How else am I going to get it? A whole family, clearly

packed to go camping, pulling into your driveway, all getting out. You go outside with your gun, like, hey! I've heard plenty of stories of people, like, going down the wrong. I mean, North Carolina happens a lot. You'll go down the wrong way somewhere, you're lost. Oh, yeah, and somebody walks out with a gun.

Yeah. That's pretty common. Yeah. Oh, this is my property. Yeah. A guy pulled a gun on my brother, like, two years ago, whatever, and he said that he, like, didn't know that he lived around there. And he said, he's just a racist, I guess. But he just said, oh, I thought you were one of the kids from the city. And he said that they live on a lake. And he said, they're coming down from the city to steal the fish.

That's what he said. Which is like so sad. They're coming down to fish? I think it's like a fishing lake, I guess. Like, it's kind of sad to have to explain, like, no one wants your fucking fish. That is better fish over there. There are no kids in the city. The level of, do you think, have sushi there?

The level of racist you have to be to go out for a day of fishing and you catch nothing. You have to be like, well, black people stole. I think that it was stolen by black money. I thought my brother was part of that. He's their scout. He's an unassuming white scout. He's the double agent. Okay, there's one fish over by the rock.

There was a bunch of fish by some bread that I threw out from the city. I saw a fish that was over by the shore of the lake. But it has a guard. Make sure to bring your waterproof gloves. You can grab the fish. Get as many fish as you can. Put him in a big burlap sack with a little fish logo on it. Walking around with a big piece of paper and he's drawing a map of the lake

and he's just putting X's wherever he sees I saw fish here, here, here and here. We're going to enter through this old guy's house. Yeah. We gotta kill him.

We're going to kill the guy. We get a fish here, a fish here, a fish there. And then we're out. He's impaired, so watch out. He's well armed. He's the only one

and figured it out. He knows me now. He knows me now, so be careful. He's seen my car. I've been made. Guys, we're going to have to go to a different lake that's five hours away from this city.

You know that he was just at some point just like, inventing this, sitting on a chair just looking out at the lake for like five hours as well as a wife made a casserole. He had like three yinglings and he's just like God.

He probably had a dream. Yeah. He probably did. He probably woke up and instantly knew. He fell asleep on his boat of black teens stealing. He had a dream of black teenagers like piloting a UFO

over the lake and sucking all the fish out with a vacuum. Yeah. He had a chain sawing logs to be spiked and putting them towards the that you put the fish in. woke up and the fish was gone, he's like, God damn it, I knew it. I fucking knew it. Say it, Pat.

No. That is pretty awesome that when you, I mean, you can just do, you can just think of that kind of thing. It makes me sad for his life that he is just a small life. It's gone to the point that he thinks his fish are like gold. He lives among beautiful nature, so he can't suffer. Yeah. That's true.

He has a better life than anyone who lives in the city. My grandparents moved into a neighborhood, not that, long ago with like a big area of woods behind their house. They were really excited because they get to see like deer and stuff. Maybe you did. This is California grandparents or?

I think we did. Okay, so they were there for like, Matt Studio. Yeah, they were there for like maybe six months and then they realized that there was another development that was happening. Oh, yeah. They're looking at just like the most wide open shit. Oh, they stole the damn woods.

Yeah, dude. And I think it's going to kill my grandma. It's like an old. old person, like, village, one of those? Yeah, it is an old person village. Yeah, I grew up in one of those. No, yeah, it is one of those. It's called the old country village.

That's where I grew up. I had a relative move to one of those in North Carolina. Is that, like, a hot spot of where they are? Old people, yeah. North Carolina is where, like, people... There's a lot of New Jersey people... People from the North Carolina who can't afford Florida retiring North Carolina. Right, and they were building it when I went to go visit,

and they had signs up that said it was like a rare bird sanctuary. And I was like, oh, that's nice. And he was like, oh, no, but they're... they're tearing that up. That's what we're here for. Like that way, like, they were ruining the bird sanctuary to develop a town for old people. The birds are dead. Which honestly, it's like,

it is just what life you value more and I guess it is. No, actually, I value the birds more than the old people. Well, you have to be careful doing stuff like that because you, if you displace a bunch of rare birds and then you put a bunch of old people that, old people are very vulnerable and the birds are going to come back and there's going to be nothing to offend the old people.

Maybe that's part of the plan. They're going to come in through the window. We'll just put them there so they're going to eat, eaten by birds. Just a bunch of Cardinals eating a bunch of old people's

like eyes. I think the rare birds are cardinals. Cardinals is a state bird of North Carolina yeah,

but that's not rare. Yeah, it's not very rare. Well, these could be a rare breed of them. But it's not. It could be a rare

breed. Listen. I'm with Patrick on this. It could be a rare breed. I knew, I knew that

there was the state bird instinctually. You did? What's state bird of mass? And New Hampshire? What is it? It's like a

Purple Finch for New Hampshire? I don't. That sounds I definitely knew at one point what the Massachusetts one was. Why do you have to have a fucking state bird? Yeah. It's cool.

Anything you can have a state thing of, it's cool. You know, we got there, we have state fossils. Every state has a state fossil. Well, what's the New York one? Oh, I was, I remembered it. Rudy Giuliani. No, it's, uh, that's good. That's why you didn't.

Fuck, what was it? I literally, it was the one that made me realize that we had state fossils. I can't remember what it is now. It was a, at least to stop you here. If it ain't a dinosaur, I think it is, and I'm moving. I think, you know, I think, but you know, I think, I think it's an archaeopterics. I think it might be an archaopterous.

Okay. Is that a dinosaur? Like the jacket. That's a bird dinosaur. They're all birds at this point. Well, yeah, but that was the one that they discovered. They were like, oh, this is a bird. It is amazing.

They found it. They're like, this is a prehistoric bird and then later they realized. To live for the dinosaur truth. The dinosaur truth being discovered almost again. That they're birds. It's honestly not talked about enough. It makes me, it makes me. Oh, no, I was wrong.

It's actually cooler. It's a Eryptorid, which is a, Big ass C. Scorpion. That is cool. That's cool. That's just a lobster. Which one is? No, these go are like fucking eight feet long.

They get like huge as fuckers. It's a big lobster. It could be that big. That is true. Lobsters can't get that big. I think why we, I feel like the bird thing with dinosaurs are probably suppressed

for a long time because they knew that people would be like lose a little bit of interest. Are you fucking kidding? Yeah. I do care a lot less about dinosaurs knowing

that they were birds instead of lizards. Yeah. Yeah. But they were making up dinosaurs as they went back then. Like there was like rich guys who had the fossils and they're like, all right, put that bone on that one. And they're like, oh, look at it.

I found the biggest one. If you guys had like millions of dollars, you'd buy, you'd definitely buy a dinosaur fossil, right? This whole building would just be for Cameron's fossil. We would not have, we would not have the studio in here. It would just be one big dinosaur. There's one. I mean, fair enough.

I thought you were just going to say, If we had a million dollars, we'd be running an museum. I was, I'm thinking about, I'm like, obviously. We'd all be running a museum. You can just go dig for fossils. Yeah, you can't. You can just do it. I mean, it's just a stupid thing to do.

Yeah. It's just going out and digging. They found a lot of those. A lot of those damn megalodon teeth are found on the North Carolina. Sure. Yeah, they have lots of, but I believe right now the hub for dinosaur fossil hunting is like China. I think. Yeah, I think it's, I think it's, I think,

America is less of the hot spot. I believe. I do believe. Do they have different dinosaurs than the ones that we know about? Well, yeah. That's awesome. Not all different, but I mean, dinosaurs live in different places. There's a Bejousaurus, I think.

Wow, I was one letter off. I think. Pretty close. It's O to I and G. No, G, J, B, E, J, I, A, O. Do you guys cut stuff out of this podcast? no no you don't it's funny i haven't listened i haven't you know been engaged

with the podcast for so for years it's really weird why because you guys are my friends i don't want to what's the most horrible thing in the world you used to hear it used to hear it next door to my bedroom all the time because we lived next to each other and my computer was in there at what apartment 22 i'm not going to say that oh oh right no just on the timeline or whatever

right when you when it was like you didn't have a studio or anything. Yeah. But then I really think of it when we lived together. And it was actually us on your wall and you would just hear us. Well, no, that was on Dante's wall. Oh, yeah. That was on Dante's wall.

I was just thinking about when we lived together and I had to battle a rat and then I found out that you were in your room the whole time. Pretending to sleep. Yeah, I told that before. We had a rat problem where you'd walk out of the, you'd walk out of the bathroom at night and a rat would run across your feet and the rat was huge. It was so scary. And, I mean, it was, it really, I'm a skittish person, and it would freak me out so badly.

And then one time you and our roommate Issa found the rat in a, uh, in her like, so she was like, it's in, we got an exterminator. He didn't find it. Yeah, he was like, you're, don't make it. He thought, he was like, you're making this. Literally. And then, Issa, like, I went into the room alone. And I had a kitchen knife for some reason.

Which is like, fine, I was like, 19. It's like, boy, I have to have to. And then I, you could rip the slats off of like the, like the radiator went alongside the floor. And then the last one that I picked up. And in my head, this is wrong, but in my memory of making it up was he, because he had a bunch of food back there. He had my saltines in my head stacked up. They're like a dragon's layer. They're all stacked up.

And every single one has a little like sticky note tab on it. Yeah. This one on Monday. He's like a rat that's, like, working out and shit. He's got, like, a whole apartment down there. I mean, it's a full sitcom apartment buildout. It's bigger than your room. It's like, goes all the way into, like, outside.

And it has little prohibition era hiding things from when they exterminating. Stuff to cover, like a solo cup to cover all the salties and stuff. He had a bunch of dry ice to cover it. Oh, what? Oh, a rat. Yeah, I don't know about any of that. Wait, I'm the rat. But, and then, yeah, he rushed out right when I pulled off the last, like, cover.

And we were, like, in battle for a long time. And I had a, I had a towel in front of the door. It was terrifying. And then he bit his way up into the Ottoman. Yeah, we had a free, it wasn't even an Ottoman. It was a free part of a sectional couch. Oh, I wrote, dude, that thing sucked. Yeah, it was horrible.

But I got it for free. Yeah. And the reason. It was amazing. They gave you the promotion because they're like who the fuck is going to take

one part of a sectional couch is this big. Yeah, it was good. I took it and then a rat climbed up in it and they took the

well then the knife came in handy because then we took it downstairs and I chopped a big X in it and then I kicked it over and then the rat crawled out

and then I looked across and I was drenched and sweat and I looked across the street and there was a woman walking her back across the street and I had a big

nice rat in your furrowed The end of die hard. And I looked over it. And it's in Cambridge, too. And the entire time, and I heard this happening the entire time. And as soon as I heard eking and screaming, I was like, I'm going to pretend to be asleep. And I got up and I locked my door and I laid up my bed.

You were like, and I don't think we knew. You were always just two years ahead of the rest of us. I feel like you just avoided everything that happened in that apartment. It was good. It was fun. I was glad I did it. I was pretty glad you did it too because I fucking hated that rat

would really scare me. Did it come back at all? I would try to run because I lived right across from the bathroom and I would try to make my time in the hallway. I lived right across from the bathroom. It sounds like a restaurant.

I'm rag. I tried to make that distance as short as pot. I would like sprint from the bathroom into my room at night because I was so scared of the rat. Oh, really? It scared me so bad.

That's probably why I was one with it because I don't remember being scared. I was sort of like, okay, tough guy. No, it's just dumb. I wasn't thinking about it at all. I one time saw the rat in the bathroom, and it made me scared to go to the bathroom.

Jesus. Yeah, that's, and it was really bad. Still the biggest rat. It was the biggest rat I've ever seen. Yeah, it lived in. We had a tiny apartment. It was a dog.

It was a dog that lived. The musk rat that you had in the house. And you always, I remember you told me about the story, and I'm sitting there feeling so guilty, you said at the end, when you put the rat on the sidewalk, that he didn't even, like, scurry away.

He, like, sauntered off. Like, okay. Yeah, you fucking win. Well, that's the thing about then. They're not like mice. They're just kind of, they'd be like, oh, like, why would they be afraid? Everyone's afraid of them. He probably had five other apartments lined up.

Yeah, like I was going to my other spot. Well, remember that a place that was cross street that was like a wizard's house? Yes. That house always, I never really got the story on that house. But the guy who lived in it, because we lived right by Brookline lunch, that, like, diner. Anytime I was over there, the guy who lived in that house would be there playing with action figures, which gave me. In the run of clue, yeah. He would be, like, sitting there and the people there were.

He was wearing a shirt that said, I live in that house. Yeah. Hey, Caleb. Here's my house. It was a real kind of Boo Radley situation. Yeah, he had a giant purple house. It used to be probably a pretty beautiful house. Yeah, and it had all of this weird, like, yellow paint, like phrases, weird phrases.

Yeah, like culty messages. One, yeah, deep economy was one that was on there, but economy was spelled with a cue. I remember this house. That's pretty. That's badass as fuck. That is cool. Putting a cue in for a C is really awesome. And also it had instead of a Y had an IE.

So he's basically just weird in every way. I thought he was normal up until he said that. What is that? A nickname or something? Very strange. Is this like Quebec Cua? Is this like a, is this guy Montrealian?

Why would we know that? I don't know. Why would you go there? Why would your brain go there? I don't know. I thought with EQ. Okay. For economy, i.e.

At the end, that sounds French-Canadian to me. No. You're thinking of the Q in Quebec. Yeah. It must be. They don't really, it's not really a Q language. Yeah, but I feel like

EQ. It's not really a cute kind of place. Oh, well. Not too many cues, I feel like. I think the more likely given the fact that he was at a diner playing with action figures and he was an old man and his house was purple.

I think he was just insane. Okay. And not French. I think he was from another dimension. It sounds a little bit. It was a giant fucking house. It took up an entire corner. Basically about half of what our big apartment.

Yeah, yeah. What if you looked like deeply at one of the action figures he was playing with? Yeah, it was you. He had a little rat. He's like, yesterday, I saw this. Night is the night. No, it happens before. You did well yesterday, my boy.

The puppeteer. He has a full set. He has this miniature in his house right now in the deep economy house. Yeah. He's just, he's got all. four of us with microphones and he's saying what we're saying. That was badass, man. That was an amazing apartment because it was you.

We live so close to McDonald's. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I live close to McDonald's now. And then yesterday, someone got stabbed in the head at that McDonald's. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. There were three helicopters here in the helicopter.

That shit was crazy. Happened at 11 a.m. And I had walked past that McDonald's at 10.30. Yeah. And you were harassing all the people. It could have you. Hey, come get me. And you know what?

If you don't want to kill me, you should kill the next person. If I don't eat all this food, you got to kill that guy. I'm going to the next guy. I was like, hey, want to do the McDonald's challenge? You have to kill a random guy to make helicopters fly over all day. I don't know. I didn't really know him, but it seemed like a funny joke at that. The McDonald's challenge has been traced back to what Neil Wittgeny

who reportedly said it to be random. you on the news. And I don't get it at all. Yeah, I did tell you're right. I told him. Oh, my God. Wait, he actually fucking did it. Whoa. I kept saying, I got a soft head.

You can do it to me. And he said, no. And I said, if you don't, all right, loser. I mean, you don't have the balls. I used to live near McDonald's too. And also, you talked a bunch of shit to the guy. And then he said, and also, I'm that guy. That's me.

Because I had to go into a Zoom meeting. He's like, okay, he's me now. He'll take over. He'll take over here. So what? Yeah, it's a Zoom date. Tag it out. So what do you usually get at McDonald's?

I'll just get him with the funniest bit. I'll tell you about it. It's going to be in the news. Hey, girl, next time you see me, I'm going to be on the news. It is funny, the idea that if I did it because I was on my roof, taking pictures of all the helicopters. Just trying to find a way to get to see helicopters. Yeah.

You're like a super power user on. It's not. Helicopters. Just not just the guy. How can I get them here? You never get helicopters over here. God. Did you go up on the roof and look at them?

No, I can't get on my roof. It was fun. I can't get on my roof. I didn't even know that was happening. It was loud as well. It was so loud. It was so annoying. And one of them, it was weird.

They each had their own, I guess like air traffic control, you can't be. I guess they can't really touch each other. So it was like one of them was in one spot, one the other. Yeah, they kept going back and forth. They were just going over in like air. In, like, air control, it's, like, bad luck if two helicopters touch it.

Yeah. You get a demurit on your resume. It's like a weird. It's taboo. Yeah, it's like a taboo thing. It's actually one of the earliest taboo. The word taboo was invented. It comes from a, from a, yeah.

When did air traffic control? When was that invented, do you think? One BC. Oh, yeah, yeah. They were controlling birds. And then when birds crashed into each other. And then finally, airplanes were invented. They're like, finally, we can stop with these fucking birds.

Finally, we can use the system that we developed. Do birds ever crash into each other? I just thought that way. They do that to kill each other. They do it all the time. Bird fights. No, but I mean on accident. I was not the most disgusting dead bird today.

Oh, well, tell me about that. A baby bird with no feathers and its guts came out of its asshole. Oh, yeah. Though they fall off the,

they fall off the tree. It's disgusting. They fall off the trees. They fall off the trees. They have the nests up there, and then it's like, their moms like leave and they're supposed to like fend for themselves.

Yeah. Fucking stupid little things. What I used to see. Before when at our first apartment was there was like a grocery store that had I guess like a butchery or something and there would be chicken embryos like on the street

and a lot of carnage like on the sidewalk but chicken embryos? Yeah that makes sense. Yeah yeah yeah they would have seen that before in New York just like yeah you'll walk by like a like poultry place or something and they will just have like a chicken that for whatever reason is didn't wasn't going to pan out and they just like

throw it on the sidewalk. One time I was a zipper and we were like walking around that part of Bushwick that has like the chicken thing. Oh, Kiki Riki Viviero. Yeah. He was like, Whoa, that's the live chicken place.

That's right by, okay. Yeah. I was late for therapy a couple weeks ago because I found out that that place exists. I walked in. Yeah.

Dude, Ben walked in and he was like, he was like, oh, this is like an interesting thing. It's just like chickens just like screaming and they're like cutting their heads off in front of you. It smells like fucking shit.

It was a real weird thing because you know, like I'm not a guy who would just do, you know, I'm too nervous to do shit like that. But I was, maybe because I was on my, I went to therapy or something. I was feeling free. And I went in and I was like,

if I see something I don't like, I can if I see something I don't like, I can handle it immediately. But yeah, I went in and they wouldn't let me. First of all, they didn't understand the emotion. They didn't sure they looked at you and they're like, we can't give this guy a chicken. This guy doesn't want a fucking chicken. He's going in here to make fun of us.

It's like when somebody walks into like a designer store and they know they're not going to buy anything. All right, I'll go handle this guy. Yeah, okay, I get it You want a chicken Yeah, okay, great Oh, you want to try one on? I'm sure they clocked

What I was immediately Which was you're just a transplant Who thinks this is adorable The chickens live here And you just want to like high five Oh This is my petting zoo And I am a vegetarian

So it's like, yeah, like a mat Yeah, that's an interesting Somebody who doesn't eat meat That is a very interesting stop on your It serves no purpose to me Other than doing what I did Which is being a bad zoo Did you ask any questions?

No, they didn't speak English. So what are the chicken's days? I get to asking, I did ask, I did say, do you speak English? But really? Chicken. Not just for me? Chicken. They were going, yeah.

Polo. They were going, see. See, yes, I see the chicken. Hey, what the fuck is. What the fuck is the store? What is all this crap? What are their names? Wait, what's this one?

one called. That shit smells so bad. Yeah. You can like when you it's like near the Myrtle Wyckoff L&M stops and like if you're like walking up that street it's like pretty normal New York smell and then you get right there and it's just like

oh yeah this is dead chicken bodies Oh yeah. Not even like The smell is from the live ones. The smell the bad part of the smell is yeah is fear you smell of fear it's a poop that's filled with fear and it's near there's like a little it's like hole in the window

like bagel spot hole in the window yeah it's like a little like window I've never heard of that hole in the window oh you're saying there's a window okay

I thought you were saying like hole in the wall no no no no no it's a little little hole in the window and there's a hole in the window instantly went to like a bagel shaped window

yeah when you said they should change their whole operation to be that I thought you were a circular window with a hole of them

yeah I thought you were invented you put your money in there I thought you were calling it quaint. No, no, no, no, no. I like that you said something so strange that everyone came up with a new, very exciting interpretation of it.

Hole in the window, you mean just a window. Yeah, that is a window. I make a window. There's a window on a wall. There's a window on a wall. It's like a little bagel place. Not just some floating window. No, no, no, no.

It's not just a sims under construction mistake. I mean, it's just get an image of this in my mind. You know what you live around there. It's right next to the way. It's right next to the white castle. It's like blue. Patrick, I think I'm ready to hear the story. Well, just imagine like getting a bagel there.

Yeah. It's just like you're smelling dead chickens constantly. It makes me never want to eat there. It was the only thing I was going to say. But I said a weird word. A lot of things make me never want to eat a lot of places. I said a weird word and it derailed it. Oh, I'm actually remembering.

Wait, did you have something to finish up with Ben? No, it's just that he thought that it would be fun to walk in there. No, it's never fun. It's a nightmare. Yeah. It was a chicken nightmare. Yeah. It's a but I'm not sure if this is anything, but I'm remembering when I was looking for apartments, I guess, nine months ago.

Yeah. There was a guy who had a $1,200, which is really good. Oh, wait. Yeah. The guy with all the books. Yeah. It was less than that, actually. I think it was like $800 for like a pretty big two bedroom.

And I knew that something was going to be wrong with it or whatever. It was across the street from like a seafood place, that big seafood place right there. And he walked out onto the street with bare feet. and he opened the door and he had no furniture and then like lining the walls with stacks of stacks of books and paper and then I was like... A scientist.

And to like, I should have, like, I don't know why I do this, but like I wanted him to like me. It's like, I'm not going to live there. I'm never going to see this guy again. Yeah. Get him on my side. And I was like, oh, like, I'm a reader too, which I'm not. And then he was like, oh, yeah.

And then he like started going through all of his books. And then at one point because he had bare feet, he slipped and fell as he was explaining a book, but he just kept going. He didn't acknowledge it at all. And then I left the apartment and he said, I was like, I have a couple of other places to look at. And then I was

leaving. And then he texted me and he said, Neil, call me right away. And then I didn't call him and then he said, you have to call my dad right now. Who was the landlord, I guess? Yeah. But it smelled like shit. And it was all right. I was right next to that fucking, I mean, living near

living near the chicken thing, I feel like you can kind of get used to but like seafood, it's like, there's a new seafood smell every day. Yeah, that's true. It's like, oh yeah, it's like this fish is in season or whatever, so now I'm smelling like octopus. But dude, what you got to what you got to live here is the

place where they smoke the meats. That shit smells so fucking good. The jerky house. I don't live quite close enough to it, but it's like around here. Yeah. Well, I guess I don't want necessarily. It's a good smell, man. Even if you can't eat the meat, I feel like you'd enjoy the smell.

That would be like a gasless type of thing where I would start eating meat after five months. I can't eat the meat from there. It's not even like a store. Yeah. It's just where they make it. Oh, it's just a shipment.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it will tantalize all equally. Yeah, but there's like, if you live close enough to a Burger King, that burger king charbroil smell that you can smell from like a block away. Yeah.

I remember how like there'd be like the muya's and then like the Burger King was like five or six stores down and it constantly smelled like Burger King fumes. another burger place. Yeah. They overpowered

the burgers at that place. Yeah, they did. They had a souped up burger that they'd make every day.

Oh, I guess you could get a triple stick. They just make one burger in the morning that smells so strong.

They put it on the last all day. They put in a little box of a fan. That window sill of that burger king. Why do they never do that?

That's the most tantalizing place to put food and they never think to do that. In the window in the hole. Yeah. The window in the hole. They should have,

you know, how in like, I think there's a Japanese thing where they do like the mock-ups of the food, like the polyurethane model. I was so excited for you just to explain the sushi. They had that in. So you don't cook. It's like they're a version of burger king.

They had the Harvard Square at that ramen place. Yeah. I remember thinking that shit was cool. There should be a bakery that has a little like window sill that has a pie that's sitting there that constantly has a pie smell. Other restaurants try to do

that kind of thing and they just never come, they just put actual food and it looks like shit. And you're, I always think, but when they do the fake one, yeah,

when you do the fake pie on a window cell. I always have like, I always have like the intrusive thought I want to be like, can I get that one? Yeah, can I just give me the one

with the sign in it? Give me that one. Because it'd probably be cheaper, I would imagine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

this one has a fucking sign in it. Yeah. I don't even, don't worry about making anything fresh. Give me that one. I don't want the sign either. No.

Did you ever go to a place where they have fish in the tank and you go in and you pick the fish that they cook up? I picked a lobster. I picked a lobsters. That's in the grocery store, but there's either is a seafood place. They have restaurants where you do it too. Red lobster, you can do that. You can pick out your lobster. That is, that's

a bridge too far for me. Picking the fish. Yeah, picking the animal is a bit. Yeah. I mean, I guess that's the good thing about being a vegetarian. But you'd be fine with that if it was like the, like, it's like, oh, you can see the steaks. If it's That's what I would do.

If one of them make the evil and finish. Yeah, they should put Nazi arm bits on all over on every lobster

so you don't feel bad so you're like on every fish. That's the perfect vegetarian experience. I'm going to eat this fucking chew. Yeah,

obviously I'm going to eat that one. That's a great idea. That's a good idea for a restaurant. Make them look evil. Yeah. Why haven't they done that? Well,

they already put the rubber bands around their hands. They should take off all the rod and all the lobsters fucking fight each other. I think the issue there would maybe be the screen printing company having to explain that idea to them

when you say, yeah, I want a bunch of like baby-sized Nazi arm bands. Costume birdie. They're a baby. They're lobster size. I would say that's a pretty comparable thing. Oh, and you know what? They can do that instead of the rubber bands. That's what I just said. Oh, you're just really smart guy. I'm smart about lobster.

You could just say, well, this is cheaper than all the rubber bands. Yeah. Well, I think here's my here's my new pitch. They, they, they basically they have, it's a dinner event. Okay. You come, they have all the lobsters. They have one lobster for every person that's attending.

They put them all on a tournament. The lobsters fight. And then you can, then you have, you get to bid. Ah. You either get to bid or it's like you buy, you like buy in by saying, I'm buying a ticket to come tonight and to eat the winning lobster. Yeah. And then everybody gets a lobster based on that.

Dana White coming in every single time. Or, okay, no, here it is. The lobsters fight in a tournament simultaneously, the people are also fighting in a tournament. And everybody eats a tournament. the lobster that got the same ranking that's good that would make me eat meat again if someone showed me some meatness well this guy won a contest

okay well I have to who's the strongest one yeah the strongest cow yeah we have the list do we got to do yeah we got to do that because I got to bounce pretty sure let's pull that up Mr. Julio Talley Webb is calling me

oh shit say hello say you're on the podcast oh that's it bye love you it's on the drive it's on the what is it I think I put Neil's name and then today's episode.

And it's going to be pulled up, right? No. It's going to pull up right now. No. Now. There we go. Okay. So.

What do you got for us? It was Mother's Day. Patrick has been deemed the creative director of the podcast. Does that just mean you pick a list? It means that there's a lot of responsibilities. Me and Cammer pretty busy these days. So Pat is picking up the slack. Yeah.

So first slide here, because it was Mother's Day this weekend, I tried to find a Mother's Day related list. Okay. So next slide. These are the top. 10 reasons why you wouldn't want your mom to enter your room. By flower socks, 21.37. That's a cute smile. It just made me feel like I wanted to have a nice dream. This is flower socks. This is Alyssa. She's 20 from Metro Detroit.

Here's some of the things that Alyssa likes. Favorite color, burgundy, navy blue, chocolatey brown, dark gray. Chocolate Lee Brown. Chocolate Lee Brown. What's going on? This is the person who made the list. Oh, okay. In a while.

I thought this was just the profile of a person. No, no, no, no. This is the person who made the list. Yeah. And then there are other favorite things. Their favorite foods are sausage, potatoes, ice cream, although they're allergic to milk, soup and pizza when I used to have it. It was amazing. Oh, that's sad to know what pizza tastes like, but you can no longer enjoy. Their favorite books are Maximum Ride, Percy Jackson, Warrior Cats, and Anne Frank Diary of a Young Girl. Maximum Ride was the best. Maximum Ride was amazing. I love James Patterson. I never read Maximum but I remember my friends telling me about it

and I thought it was so fucking cool and I could never get it at the library because everyone was always checking it out. It was great because my dad read every James Patterson book that was all like about a ninja special ops guy and it was written by the same dude and I tried to get him to read it. You could talk about it like dad, Patterson.

What was the spy one? Alex Ryder. Yes. Oh yeah. They made a movie other. Tyler Perry made it. Well, they made a more recent one. There was one when we were kids.

Which the ending is like there's a big octopus. Yeah. Sick. What's the next slide? He didn't write any of those. The only thing I remember about Maximum Ride, though, like the actual book was there was one chapter where she's, like, stuck in a tank as a torch, she'd be tortured or something. And she basically kills herself by just, like, thinking, like, I'm going to just not exist anymore and just die. And then they open the thing and they're like, finally, she's fucking dead.

And then they take her out and she gets up and starts flying around. And as a kid, I tried to kill myself with my. brain probably every day because I was like well I just kill myself by thinking about it and I'll just come back and I'll just come back but it never worked that was one of their powers is that they could kill themselves no no she

it has nothing to do with her powers she's just like she just does it at some point they could have written that in and that's the powers but I'm not sure it's going to happen I'm not sure it ever comes up again in the rest of the frame probably not imagine in book one at the very beginning she's like in my powers or I can

fly and also I can will myself into dying, but I'll come back right after. And then you just don't hear anything about it until like book 10. Oh, here it fucking is. Like Chekhov's gun, it's Patterson's power. Yeah. It'll come back later.

Patterson's brain. Next slide. Neil, you're on the five weeks of friendship. Yeah, we didn't even tell you. This is the five weeks of friendship. Thanks. And we wrote a song for you. Neil Linsky

You're such a good friend to me We were roommates For a few years Had a few beers More than a few I should say Man, when we were roommates You used to fucking shower You used to shower for hours

I always wondered about what you were doing If I could join you Or if that would make our relationship Turn sour I really wish we still live together You want to come stay at my house And we can kick it better Than we ever did before

You could sleep on the floor and I could enjoy your body even more than I have in the past. You know that me and you, we always had a blast. Remember that one time when our roommate Dante went out of town. He left the Xbox. We played GTA 5 all over town. Yeah, we were walking around GTA 5 acting like clowns, shooting every police officer we saw. That shit was amazing every time that we broke the law.

And Neil, you mean so much to me. One day I want you to have lunch for free. I think that you don't need to ever pay again So when I hang out with you You'll always be my friend Neil, I can't believe that I even met you I one day wants to never forget you Neil, you are also my roommate

When it comes to awesome, there is no debate You are one of the best roommates that I ever had I liked living with you more than I'm living with my dad Every single morning, you would take a shower You would be in there for almost an hour I think that the shower would give you power because you would come out and you'd be a bright ray of sunshine and we would play Super Mario Sunshine on the GameCube

you are the opposite of a lame dude you're insane dude you have a green thumb and a Putney Swope poster I would go in your room when no one was over I would pretend that I was you and I would wear your clothes if you have had a garden then you would have a hose who are a writer and you have beautiful pros Cameron

and that was the former room notes you didn't see the text. It said former roommate freestyle. I saw that. That was beautiful guys. Thank you. Well, thank you for saying that. That was all off the dome, by the way.

I remember one time I was laying in my bed and then you opened my door and you went, no, no, no, wait, look. And you saw me and you went, oh, sorry. Was that? I forget what was. What were you trying to show? I was trying to show your balcony to somebody. Yeah, right. It was the other apartment.

You were doing it. The other apartment. Yeah, it was the second one. Oh, oh, oh. I was trying to show how much bigger your room was compared to mine. I think you were doing a panty raid. I was doing a panty raid. I used to wear Neil's clothes and I'd look in the mirror and sing that I'm Neil's song.

Why did you cut out the part where you said that you used to listen to him fuck? Oh, I forgot. Yeah, I had a whole verse about how I would put my ear on the wall. and then touch his ball I would touch my ball not my thing yeah I enjoyed the rapiness

of the other verses mine was not mine was just about just our friendship both of them were about what we have done both the verses were about friendship

yeah and that's what this week's are all about oh wait but I also did something extra oh yeah I made I had a lot on my plate today

I have been recently getting it oh this is Cameron's coast oh yeah well I was Okay, so, yeah, as part of the five weeks of friendship, I'll be, I'll give, we'll start this now. Okay. I'll give everyone, I'm going to toast, give a toast.

Oh, that makes more sense. I'll be, initially, I, my mind went to a piece of bread. I think you're not, I do like that. I believe your friend number five. Your friend number five, yeah. Wow, halfway through. This is week three, day one. Oh, it's five weeks.

Five weeks. Damn, that's a little too long. I have a guest every time. Yeah. So was the last one. The last one was peers, was peers. But we didn't do any of this for Pierce, I'm realizing. This is the first time that we decided to kick it up a notch.

Yeah, and it's kind of funny how fast this type of thing flies by when you decide to retroactively have already been doing it for multiple weeks. Yeah, yeah, because we already decided, we did two episodes back-to-back that had guests, and then we said, well, let's just do five weeks of that. But, oh, you should just do one. If you can't get a guest, you guys are friends. No, no, it's about honoring our friends. You're just trying to, you're trying to stall me.

You don't want to hear your toast. You're going to be embarrassed by the toast. I was trying to bring you guys back together because you have individually told me you don't like each other. I don't have anything to toast even with. You can hold my cup. Oh, I got it. Okay, then I'll keep my cup.

There's nail. Okay, that works. Neil. Damn it. Nail. Buddy. For all the time I've known you, you just are my friend, man. Yep.

And, you know, whenever I have questions, about money. I know you are always there for me or if I've got any questions about technology. You've always helped me fix my dishwasher or my coffee machine. So many times. Yeah. I remember

you let me borrow your motorcycle. When I was going on that road Yeah, I know, man. Listen, I'm going to get it back to you. I swear that I'm going to go, but it's not in the state. It's tied up with the cartel. It's in a different country. And it, and, you,

You know, the one thing, if I think about Neil, the first thing I think about, man, is just that all your favorite hot dogs you used to eat. Back when we were hanging out, you'd eat all those hot dogs. You guys remember his crazy condiments. I remember. Yeah, you did have some crazy condiments back of the day. So, Neil, man. List them all right. Well, okay.

There was, I think you like, what kind of jelly was it? It was strawberry jelly. It was more of it. Oh, no, am I wrong? It was chutney. It was chutney. It was marmalade. Yeah.

It was chutny. chutney. He had an apple chutney. It was marmalade and jelly. Okay. That's true. Yeah. It's a rare mix. Yeah. But you could, that's the only time. I remember that you didn't know the difference and you used to mix them up and say, it's no different if I do this. And you would have a dark jelly and that would really piss you off.

And I would get so mad. And we would start boxing each other with those spiked gloves that we made. That were all sticky from the jelly. Yeah, but you know, if there's one thing I want to say, it's that I really hope we never come to blows with those spiked gloves ever again because that was a dark time of my life and I still haven't fully

psychically recovered from that so everyone raise a nail to kneel Neil yeah nail we can't raise a kneel yeah we he did you raise the glass

with your toast or you sit there kind of humbly huh you don't raise your own glass if you don't have anything no you just sit there yeah you just I would say you kind of gesture it outwards No, I'm saying if you're being toasted, I don't think you go like, yeah. No, I think you do. I think you're, I think you, I don't know.

You don't applaud and everyone's applauding. Yeah, it does feel a little bit like that. I do, because I don't know what to do with my hands. I do, to Neil. To Neil. Thank you, guys. That was a beautiful toast. Let's get to the next thing, which is.

I've been getting into pixel art and I've made a digital painting, I mean, and I made this about you about you. Whoa! We're going to mint this as an NFT, and this is going to be sold. to hopefully a Saudi billionaire and then you'll get half of the money and we'll get the other half. Dude, you got my boots. You got my hair?

That's the second time that people have been like... And your thigh gap. Yeah. Okay. The first one that I did was really basic and then this one I was like, I'm going to turn it up a night. And this one is of someone

who's a bit of a basic bitch. Whoa. It's a little joke. It's a joke. It's a joke. You can't do one toast and then shit on somebody. First of all, I'm not shitting. You call it.

On a basic B. It's a joke. I'm not going to take it as such. Well, I'm fine. I did the whole toast. Yeah, so you think you earned one. I earned one joke. That toast was all over the place, motherfucker.

And I went with your surreal little bits. That toast was, I mean, yeah, you. I like that, though. That's beautiful. You really? Do you, Neil, do you actually, you've known me for so long. Do you actually like this? I do.

You do. Yeah, it's me at Cobra Club. Yeah. It's true. Do you like, is it, does it read? Those are buttons? Those are buttons on his shirt. Yeah.

Now, okay, because I was kind of expecting like a, you know, surprise when I came in here and I didn't get it. Can you talk a little bit about his. Now I'm expecting like, but is it going to go back to pull this picture back up? Caleb, just as an artist, I'd love you to talk a little bit about his hands. Yeah, why am I, like, giving the bird to the ground? What is going on with his hands here? Okay, so, okay, motherfucker. You want to go there?

The last digital painting that I did, the last digital painting that I did, I got a lot of guff from somebody over here, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, you about how the hands were him pointing down and they were exactly the same. It went backwards. You went backwards on the hands. What do you mean? Hands are always in motion. Who knows what hands are doing. This is Neil's stand-up style. Yeah, I'm always giving the middle finger and then pointing down. The upside out of middle finger and then pointing down. That's like your cool kind of way to do stand-up. It's desperately trying to point to my middle finger. Fuck you and this.

You don't like my set? I think that that is, you know what? I'll take you know what, I'm going to humbly take the note. I wasn't even a note. I was asking for an artist statement and you took it as an insult. We'll have the most amazing painting next time. Who was the last digital painting of?

The last digital painting was of Julio. For his birthday. I just remembered. I also got you this gift. Wow. Wow, it's... Thanks, man. A bag.

Very big bag. Oh, I was so excited to have a bunch of money inside a bag. Dude, I just saw something in there. You're going to want to look in there. There's actually one good thing in there. There's a legit, actually good thing. So that is... Was the jams?

Was it about jelly at a time plan? No. No. But there's also... Wait, wait, wait. Damn. There's two more thing. Well, one more gift, technically.

A receipt? Not the receipt. I saw something else in there. The receipts in there in case you want to return this stuff. Two lollipops. From the doctor. And they're Cosmo and Wanda colors because I know you love fairly odd parents. Oh my God.

Thank you guys. And dude, you can have this if you want it. I'm going to carry it with the phone. That is an actual Trader Joe's gift card. And that's a real nail. So be really careful. What Trader Joe's do you guys go to? Because I will use this.

I don't know. That's why I've never used it because I just. Why is it called sweet storm jam? I don't know. And why is it old as fuck? Because I think I got that for my mom two Christmases ago. It's great. It's like water damaged.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's been in three wallets. Yeah. Well, well, well, that's Neil's gift.

And the next part of this is the reminiscing corner. Well, take it away. We've had so many amazing times together. And I'd love to just. reminisce about our amazing life that we've lived so far. It's so sad that it's drawn to a close. Friendship is all about memories.

Yeah, I mean, what is there even? There's almost too many memories. We have had a lot of the living situations together. A slide show that I was going to hate to have pictures. No, no, no, no. I put the slideshow before the video. You know what I remember? You went into the bathroom once and you were in there for too long, like an hour.

And then I heard you go, dog, like, you went like, God damn it. And then you would walk in with. full of hair and you walked out with a shaved head. Because you tried to give yourself a haircut and you did it backwards and I think you just went up. That tracks. What was that? 187? Yeah.

Why are you so cagey about your former address? Yeah, I was not mentioning it. Who is cagey about it? You like to say the numbers in the streets a lot. The numbers are fine. I've already said the address on the podcast a few times. So where's the sphere? And also I the, well, I wasn't afraid of it until

a fan messaged me and said that's like two layers of you're shedding a layer of protection against your like social security number my doctor told me that too when I was trying to get rid of my shell yeah

you're gonna want to keep that but he was talking about just your general of social anxiety it was like identity it was an identity I think of coming out of my shell that will ruin you this is something that

probably this is something that you say on the show and then a fan reaches out. It helps you to understand what it is. Yeah. But I found out yesterday that I have two social security numbers. Whoa. You have your identity stolen.

You don't have. Okay. Just checking. Yeah. All right. Cool. That's good. Yeah. No,

there was an easy, just, we all have fucking, how many do we have? You only have two. You only have two. You only got two. You only got two.

You're supposed to get four by this age. This is 22. You get one every four years. Every time there's a new president. Of course. Oh, guys. Real ID. is in effect.

Oh, no. They finally went and did it. The fucking mad. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna use my passport for my flight tomorrow. I know this can't be right, but it's like... Oh, you're lucky I said something. Yeah.

Is an old man like the first guy to get us on it? It was his number zero, zero. Must have been. It's, uh, I think, well, I don't know. It's the first three numbers are like the city you were born in. But it is true that the number will be, will be lower if you go back in time. Yeah. Yeah.

That is true. That's cool. You go back in time. Well, you know what I mean. Yeah. But a lot of older people didn't really get there. They didn't know their social security number until like the 90s. It wasn't really a part of identifying yourself.

It just was referenced your social security benefits. Yeah. I got it wrong in the day on the phone. You know, you can't always remember everything. Yeah, on the phone with the wallet inspector. I'm looking at your wallet records here. It's saying that your social security is, is this still true? A record.

And do you still have a baseball card behind your ID? I was trying to get something for my driver's license at one point, I don't know. And it was like not the right website. And it was like a pop-up thing that said, like, type in your social security. And I was like 17, I think. And I asked my parents like, what is this? And they were like, type it in. And it was clearly like a virus website.

All right. And that concludes the reminiscuit. And now it's fun to be. That's exciting. Okay. So this is now the present. This is when we just riff and have fun. I asked Patrick, when he was making this, I said,

what is fun tope? He said, that's the part where we'd be funny. I'm tired, though. It's a really good idea. It is a good idea. I mean, conceptually, if we can pull it off, it's a genius. It would be really good, actually.

Now there's a lot of pressure. I feel like we should just, I feel like we should just go back to the reminiscing hour and just talk about maybe. The hour? Man, I just told you how to fucking leave. Are you upgrading it to an hour? You're reminiscing about the...

Yeah, remember when they said spaghetti earlier? That shit was funny. Yeah. That shit was funny. I actually want to have that right now. I'm fucking hungry. Well, well, well, I'm also hungry. And we have to meet after.

We have to do something after this. You got any shows coming up that you want to plug? Oh, you do. I just posted today. Yeah. Plug it, bro. Oh, yeah. Your gutter shows back.

The gutter in Williamsburg, May 22nd. Yeah. It would be good. Does that show you're doing that monthly again? Mm-hmm. Okay. So every month, look out, follow Neil, on Instagram, say you're at.

Oh, what is it? I don't know. Is it Neal's account? Yes. Yeah, we'll put it on. I think it's Neal's dot account. Neal's dot account. So yeah, every month, Neil will have a show at the gutter in Williamsburg.

Remember one time you were doing the show? Reminiscing corner. Still, I'm still in the reminiscing corner. We're fucking, I don't know what you're doing right now now that we've moved. Do you remember you're doing it? And it was like the exact same time that fucking Charlie X was doing the lot radio next door. Across the street. Yeah, it was like the street was.

was, like, insanely packed. Yeah. You said Charlie X. Charlie X. Oh, you just said XX. And there was a girl who, I mentioned it. Charlie X.

You said Charlie X and I assumed it was someone that I didn't know. Yeah, I thought it was a comic. A secret agent. I definitely said it. But what were you saying? No, you didn't, man. No, I just mentioned it back a million times.

Play it over and over and over and over. Charlie X, X, X, X, X, yeah. I mentioned it on stage. Like, thanks for being here. She's right outside. I can't, like, I can't believe you chose me. And then two girls left. Which is like totally fair.

Yeah. Yeah. That's excellent. So we will be in Boston at the end of the month. Actually, I'm going to be, I can't make that show because I'm leaving that day. Are you talking to me? Yeah. Oh.

I wanted to go. I thought you meant you couldn't make your own. No, no, no, no. I can't make your show because the next day on Friday. I saw that and I was like, oh, that's too bad. Yeah. Where are you playing in Boston? We are playing the Crystal Ballroom in Somerville.

It doesn't sound like a real place. We'll find out where we get there. The wall. Inspector, book those. The wallet inspector. And then we will be in Pittsburgh and Cleveland. You can buy tickets for all that on swag poop.com slash shows. Come and see us.

Please. We'll put Neil's link on the website. Sure. We'll put the link to Neil's show. Yeah. We'll say produced by podcast about lists. Sure. Fine.

We take over as your producers and we just like remove everyone from the line up. When the Sopranos move into that sports. store that you ruined that guy's like. We're booking just like racist Long Island comics. It's just like the numbers of the crowd numbers are going down. I think we're going to do the show at 1 p.m. today. Just really want to get it over. Hey, hey. You wanted that swag. You're right. You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. Well, thank you, Neil. All right. That's fun. Bye. Tune in for the continuation of the five weeks of friendship. Yes. With

more parts added with more friends what does taboo look like he looks like a dr manhattan with butterfly wings yeah he's like a he's like a glitch guy i've never seen you never played subspace emissary it was fucking shit it was shit yeah it was kind of shit oh i think you're saying a little bit shit it's a huge waste of time the cutscenes are dope yeah the cutscenes are dope but it all doesn't even have that song i was thinking

oh whoa he's cool yeah he's pretty cool actually Probably I didn't nail that description. Actually, he's kind of a tattoo. He looks like a tribal butterfly wings. Nice tramp stamp. And how did I know his name was going to be spelled oddly? That would be a great tramp stamp for a nerd ho. Taboo.

A nerd ass ho. Yeah. Super Smash. Oh, you can super smash me. Yeah. You go ahead and super smash me with my bros. Go ahead and super smash me, Lee. Ultimate.

Oh, I got it. I got it. I want to suck on your brawls, ultimately. Take my brawl off and put your brawls on my four boobs. Oh, yes. Four times. Three D's.

I have three. Three D's. Wee. And my mom is 64. Jesus. And my mom is 64. Just the fact. And she's 64.

Just saying this so you get to know me a little better. 64. And I could call my snester. And we, could have no nope because

called my snest do you have snacks we can have snacks with each we have

snes with each other like nestly chocolate chips what is another

oh you want to play games boy I'm going to let's link up let's

but let's not young link but let's not young link but we can tune link we can tune link yeah