Podcast About List - Ep. 340 - Short Fuses ft Alex Forrest

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

Alex from Home Planet is in the studio today to brainstorm some amazing ideas for reality TV shows and also to basque in the delightfulness of friendship.Follow Alex: https://x.com/ALEXF0RRESTFollow ���@homeplanetvideo⁩ : https://x.com/home__planetGo to Alex's show in Union Hall (06/05): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-portal-tickets-1361007262359?aff=oddtdtcreator Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/showsGet extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

nice hearty clap yeah and i saw who you picked by the way yeah we both offered up the microphone and you picked the test of the friendship well it's usually Cameron's mic that i clap into okay pat definitely likes Cameron more than you like i think that's not nobody at well some people would say that clapping at someone is almost more of an act of violence than it is he's trying to squish you yeah it's kind of like he's trying to scare me Maybe. What's going on with you? I think I have a migraine coming on, but I'm going to persevere.

I'm going to push through it. That is badass. At some point, I'll probably just go to bed during the episode. You can fall asleep or go to bed. No, I'm going to go to bed. Go to bed here or go to bed. No, I'm going to go to bed here. Okay.

What's the difference of what? What's the difference between a migraine and a headache? A migraine is just worse. Yeah. Yeah, migraine is worse. It usually lasts longer. and it's like specifically it's the like constriction of the blood vessels in your head which I guess I don't know if a headache is also that as far as I think of the experience of them

is a headache is like kind of your whole shit and a migraine your whole head your whole head yeah and a migraine is also have like other symptoms migraic like you also you get like visual aura where you can't see or a lot of people like throw up or like yeah yeah yeah are like visual You've got brain fog and stuff. There's a lot of other stuff going on. I'm going to fight it. It's not going to even affect me at all. Nice.

I'm going to make it worse. You're going to make it worse. I'm going to make it worse. This is why he likes Cameron more than you, bro. You like Cameron more. Cameron likes me more and I like you more. But you know what? But Patrick probably loves you more.

No, no. He doesn't like me at all. But when it comes to love, it reverse the direction. I love Cameron. It all reverses. It all reverses. Me more. Mimor.

Do you know Mimor? No, I don't. Well, I've seen his, like... His early work? Yeah. I've seen Mimor's early. I wanted to do, like, a chronological watch of Mimor, but I just like... Oh, the Mimor movie?

You are a completionist. I know. I downloaded them all. I felt like a whole hard drive. Just sitting there. There's a hundred gigabytes of Mimor. I got like two in, and I was like, I switched. to Yumo.

Do-Doo. To you-O and D-D-DU-M-O and D-M-O. You can't even watch any of the M-M-M-R stuff anymore because of all the racist stuff that he was saying back in the day. Even though I agree with a lot of it, you can't even turn it on anymore. You can't why. It literally doesn't work on the race.

It doesn't work on TVs. Yeah. Like when people say like, when people say that wouldn't work on TV nowadays, this literally, it doesn't work on TV. Because of the color settings of an OLED. There's like, yeah, something electronic with it. It doesn't look like anything.

You try, you can, like, and you can do it. And you can do it, you can, like, put the file on a flash drive and, like, plug it into your Blu-ray player and try and, like, get by it. Why don't they make that? It doesn't work. Why don't they make a TV that can't show, like, that one episode of 30 Rock where they do Blackface or something? It's like, it just looks like nothing. Like, something about that tone is completely deleted from the TV. I don't know, but I really like the idea of, like, a kid watching static and being like, it's Mimo. It's the Mimo show. You guys watch that? I've been watching this since I was a kid. It's so, there's the gray guy. Look at all the gray characters.

Then there's all the white characters. That is kind of how kids TV is. Yeah. Oobie. Lots of white characters. Louie. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's unfortunate.

The whites are taking over now. Yeah. But just as many black characters in Mimo. Yeah. That is true. About an equal amount. Almost too many. Makes you a little, what were they trying to push?

The black agenda? Is that a thing? The black agenda. Patrick, speak on it. Black agenda. Buddy. It's my favorite agenda. Okay.

But what does it entail? It's my favorite. Yeah, it can be your favorite, but what is the black agenda? I don't even know, but I love it. So what? What do you love about it? I don't even know what. Patrick, what do you love about black people?

What do you hate about it? Tell me what you love. What's the thing that just makes you want to fucking go crazy? Because there's got to be one thing. There's got to be one thing. Patrick was texting. to me all day about foids. No, I was.

Yeah, I've been texting me. It's been making you laugh really hard, though, so I keep doing it. How do you know? You're texting. You told me. You told me that it's making you laugh. What is a FOID? It's an insult, dude.

It's like what insales call. You're sounding like what they call you. Yeah, that's what they call Cameron. Dude, what did you just do? Great. Here we go. But it's really funny to me. I believe it's short for femoid.

Pat has made this. picture of Rose glasses and said POV someone just put three glasses of

Floyd Slop in front of you Rose literally is though yeah Roseet is Floyd Slot why is it

so many fucking spoids on the beach I texted you that when I was in Florida this week you texted me

you hit the wall Floyd That's really rude And then the day after my birthday He texted me Irma Gurd New Iderbs

Kern Tert Gurd That one's good He's a quick little That's why you have to go Just see what Patrick is texted Yeah Because it's usually You go on runs

Of like you get one thing Right now it's Floyd Yeah And you go on runs of sending me What was the one Stuff? I kept texting you this you were texting me something

does he do this to you too or is this just purely because he knows it's going to get right on the show no I do it I do it I do it yeah you actually sent me something yesterday I think

yeah it's asking me to be on the podcast yeah you're saying me a crazy yeah please be on the show please Alex yeah our guest today is Alex

yeah everybody for the five weeks of friendship it's Alex fours week four episode day day one week four day Episode

Week 4, Day 1. Day 1. Day 1. Of the 5 weeks. Oh, okay, I got it. I got it. I got it. You sent me this,

the Iron Man Celestial Slayer Armour. It's a YouTube short. Just about like that armor. I thought it was cool. I watched it. Honestly, I knew you would really like it. Well, I watched it and I forgot that you had sent it to me

halfway through because I was like, this is actually kind of cool. Wow, that's interesting. Oh, so he used it to go into deep space. Oh, you know what it was is you like, I think there was maybe, maybe you like had just sent me the Venmo for the commercial we did and then I was like here's your payment for that commercial yeah yeah what a commercial it was I that one's

gonna hit the Super Bowl right I think so yeah yeah they're testing it's gonna hit the phone it's gonna hit the phone of someone who's at the Super Bowl when I saw it I hit my phone yeah get me that pace out of my damn phone yeah well there was one thing that I just kept saying to you though there's what like Oh, oh, I remember it. I remember it because then I kept saying it to my girlfriend, like, while I was making dinner. I kept saying, I kept saying one-shotted. One-shotted was really making me laugh for a week.

And I kept saying, like, what was it? Pepperoni. Pepperoni one-shodied. It's so funny. No memory of this one. It's like, why did pepperoni one-shot cheese pizza during the individual? invention of pizza. I'm going to stay, I like, I

keep sending me, I'm not, I'm not remembering it correctly. You're not doing your own text message justice right now. I have to look up the word one shot. Keep sending me to my dead stuff, man. Yeah. That's what I think is taking me laugh. The fuck off, dude.

Get it all, yeah. All your clothes off. Cheese pizza got one shot at by pepperoni during the invention of pizza. It's a word for me. Tell me why pizza flavor one shot at flavor blasted cold fish. You texted that to the,

uh, I text I texted that to... Beep. Yeah. You got to beat that out. So basically, Julio is going to be mad at you now.

You just got in a shit list. I texted that to Cameron. Another reason. And then the thing after that that I texted you, I said, this is something you could tweet as a doctor. Uh-huh. Which is leukemia is goaded when cancer is the vibe.

I don't remember these ones. They don't really, they got all those people on Twitter, at least back in the day, where like lawyers talking about shit. You don't get a lot of doctors who we're talking about. Because I got scared away

Who were doing By the fascists Who are taking Yeah Yeah That's probably Imagine Dr. Ken

getting on their ass though Dr. Ken Jong Oh my God Ken Jong Why the fuck was he A doctor? I don't know

Yeah I'd be upset If I was his father If I was If I was one of his patients And I saw his movies I'd be upset And if I was one of his movie fans

And I'm dead So they don't And I saw his practice all his patients died years ago. You pick a fucking lane. What kind of doctor was? I mean, let's also, like, come on, man, you don't need to be a doctor and a movie star. And that number one

popular movie star. It's so funny, too, because they say the they say like the story, like the Dr. Ken story, where they're talking about it, like, it's like, yeah, and then one day, you know, I finally did it. I went and started taking acting classes and I started going out for auditions and it's like,

I'm not inspired by that at all. You had a great. You have the best job. You have like one of the best paying jobs. It probably sucks. It sucks to do because you probably watch people die all day. But even then. You probably don't though.

He's probably watched people come to back to life that you say. I had to get into my Mercedes and go to these auditions. Most doctors are, they have to give people antibiotics. It's nothing. It's nothing. Well, that speaks to the generational talent of Dr. What type of Dr.

Kim? And I almost called him Dr. King because that's who he reminded me. He does remind me of Dr. The Honorable Dr. King. What was his specialization? And that's what's really tragic about Martin Luther King, is that he always wanted to be an actor. Yeah.

And the real tragedy is that Dr. Martin Luther King never got to see Ken Jong in The Hangover. I've been keeping Dr. King's. If he was not taken out by the FBI, then he would have watched the Hangover and abandoned the Hangover. He was alive when that came out, but they just put all the pictures in black and white to make a sink that they didn't happen at the same time.

I've been keeping Dr. King's, acting hopes alive but I've been reading his speeches for my auditions recently. Yeah, he was Ken Jong was a

primary care physician with an emphasis on adult medicine. He's me. Yeah. Dude, the easiest job in the fucking

nothing. The easiest job in the world. He was a pediatrician. No, he was a primary care. He was just a normal

doctor. He's a GP, man. He specialized in internal medicine. Oh, you specialize in internal medicine?

Oh, the inside of the body. Wow. That's what, that's what you pick If you're there, you don't have anything you're interested. So this is coming into a clearer picture here. He knew that he was a failure as a doctor.

As low on the doctor totem pole. And all the doctors were probably laughing. Yeah, exactly. And he was like, oh, I must be funny. And then he went to the acting jobs. And he jumped out of a trunk and showed his penis. Immediately showed his penis. So he's also a pedophile in several.

Well, because the person was when I was a kid. Yeah. Well, that's true. That's a great point. Wow. I was a fucking kid when I saw the hangover, and I saw a gromance, but he showed a kid his penis. He showed a whole generation of children as penis.

If you're going to be, if you're going to, if you're an actor, and this is to any performers watching this, if you are going to be nude on screen in a film, you should be tried in a court of law. I agree. And a pedophile. Yeah, you should be tried in court and you should at least show and you should not shave.

Yeah, yeah. Full bush. But it's like, yeah, come on, do a Simpsons movie, French fry. Do a French fry. Yeah, do a French fry. Yeah, do a French. I heard a rumor that that's Bart's middle finger. I heard that too, and I think it's bullshit.

That's not the French fry. It's so bullshit. The middle finger thing is plus the fucking stupid. The French fry is not his middle finger. You're talking about his penis. I heard that too. You know in the Sinsons movie when he has his penis. I know what you're talking about,

but you said he said that the French fry was his Bart's middle finger, which is not true. The French fry is not as a French fry. The French fry is held up. It's a crinkle. I'm sorry. That's what I took umbrage with. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for.

saying unsubstantiated things. Thank you. That's all we want to. Now we can move on. Back to Bart's actual penis. Yeah. You've got to talk about Bart's penis. I would say that.

That might have been the most mind-blowing scene I'd ever seen in a movie. I hadn't seen it. All the kids of school are talking about it. Like, you see his penis. Yeah. And then I saw it and I got a boner when I

And that specific scene? Yeah. Because I was waiting for it and I don't know. The anticipation, kind of the blood pressure rising like, oh. Yeah, it was everything. And then when you see it, make it on the skateboard, you're like, it's coming. Oh my God, I'm so excited. And when you see it, it's like, boom, release.

And boing. How old was we when that movie came? What was that? 2007? 2006. Grade. Yeah. I was also in fifth grade.

Yeah. Maybe I was in fourth grade. What year was that? I don't know. I think 2006, maybe. Yeah. We were in elementary school, I'm pretty sure. Spider Pig.

Maybe fourth grade, I feel like. Spider Pig was, uh, yeah, yeah. That seems right. I remember it was a ringtone as Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Which one did better at the box office? Probably Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. If I had to hazard a guess. Of course, franchises.

Yeah, I know. Unlike the Simpsons. With this strange IT that they have a TV show for one movie. That's an original idea. What is this is so inventive. It's like Roger Ebert, like a lightning in the bottle idea. A yellow family that knows Green Day. They should do that.

They should make a movie about a, they should make a movie about a family that's not based on a TV show. They should do a, yeah. They should do something like Family Guy or the Simpsons. Yeah, they should basically, what they should do is they should make like 20 seasons of a TV show and just throw them all away and start at season, 21, call it season ago. Have all the references, all the, everything that has been built up for that whole time.

But it's you only see it in the movie and then that's it. That's genius. Because then you don't have to establish any of the characters. And all the people that they can be like no names, like the voice actors, you know, you don't have to spend a bunch of money on famous people. Oh, you're going to save some money on this movie that we came up. It's called the cheapies. Especially if it doesn't hit.

The cheapie family. Especially if it doesn't hit at all and people fucking. hate it. And the main character, Martin, you can't be hanging anyone? Because then, yeah,

then everyone hates it. They say, they're confused. If everyone hates it, you go, guess what? You didn't like that? Well, here's 20 seasons.

Whoa. To go backwards. Yeah. Now you're guys are 20 years later, you're going to fucking understand. Welcome to the family, bitch. Yeah,

exactly. But if they love it, you don't have to do that. You say, yeah, we just thought of this alone. That's just instantly was thought of. You can play with that.

Yeah, if you want, if you really want to. I left it here for you. It's for playing with. It's just too tall to be seen on the camera, which is why I leaned it up. That's cool. Let's keep it there.

I was going to hold it, but. I like to stem while I talk. Me too. I love it. I love it. I love it. Now, that is a song. Why don't we get bangers like that every day?

I don't know. Why doesn't a song come out every day? I think a song does come out every day. Not every day. Not every one's listening to it. I don't know. Look on band camp. No, no, no.

A song, if a song is coming out, we'll fucking know about it. On the radio, a new song every day. Sure, maybe somebody farts out some indie music every day. A song should be fucking dropping. But imagine a day, a day on bandcamp or SoundCloud where no song come, no song. To me, that's every day. We could do that as a protest. Yeah.

We're not going to release any music. We're going to kill all the musicians. The no music day. Well, that's not a very catchy name, but you understand the sentiment. Yeah, the day of silence. Because what would the Republicans listen to? Exactly. Because, you know, the Republicans are listening to the Frost children and all this stuff. And if they did a day where none of that came out, they're going to sit there and they're going to be like,

what the hell am I fucking going to listen to? Nothing dropped. Well, I send this money off whatever country. Yeah. Tucker on his show, on his ex.com show, sitting there like, and I don't have any Jane remover to listen to. Exactly. Yeah. Because that's the other thing about Republicans is they can only only listen to stuff the day it comes out. Yeah. And then it's done. Yeah.

They ruin it for everyone else. They make it not cool anymore. Dude, I hate just the evils of the world. I wish I could invent a machine. We should make a movie. We should make a Michael Moore-style documentary, us four. And it's called, Fuck, Republicans.

And we do a whole, we go to Capitol Hill, and we walk through and we interview all of them. Michael Moore, four guys, more Michaels. Yeah. And back in the day, he was about four guys. worth of fucking meat. Remember how

the fat he was? Yeah. I remember when he made supersized me? Yeah. Remember when

he made bowling for a suit? It was an original. It was his idea that Morgan Spurlock stole. Yeah. Just something that Michael

did every day. He was like, maybe I can make a documentary. It was his autobiography. Yeah. One, my life, me doing one month

as Michael Moore. That's what was originally the title. Michael and me. Michael of, Michael is me. What's the best? Michael Doobie saying more

at the restaurant At the Matt McDonald's. More, more, more. Yeah. What is the best documentary ever made? Dude, I just want to look movies. A great documentary the other day. You guys seen American movie?

This is a great document. That's a good one. I never seen it, but I remember it. Yeah. I remember the iTunes preview of it. Yeah. That's a good documentary. Oh, I just saw the pavements documentary at the film

for them. I was telling you about that. It was so good. Yeah. Yeah, I liked it a lot. Pavement, the band? The band. They made a made a movie. They made kind of a freewheeling, goofy documentary. It's a little bit weird. It's not natural. Did you guys watch the Oasis documentary? No. Yeah.

You did? Yeah, I think I watched maybe three quarters of it. I'm not good at finishing movies. I don't like music documentary. I love them. Don't get the guy wearing headphones right now. Well, you got me there. I think the best The best documentaries

Are making of movies But specifically the ones That they're like five hours long And are really in depth And not really like Narrativized or intro Like the one that comes with the DVD They Rob Zombie does those

For a bunch of his movies that are like They're like five hours long And they're like not interesting There's him on set being like Okay and can we put this over here Yeah And they'd be like yeah And it's literally five hours long

And it's they're so awesome It's like you're there on set It's so cool. You know what? You couldn't fucking pay me to watch that Peter Jackson World War I documentary. Oh my God. You could pay me to watch it. I could never accept money to watch.

I'd accept money to watch that fucking shit. You could pay me. I saw that movie in theaters with Neil Linsky. Oh, previous guests on the five weeks of friendship. I know. I know. I know.

A five weeks of friendship alum. Um, that movie's really funny because it's all just about how World War I broke, how people thought about war. Yeah, they sucked at war. And it was just like, well, gentlemen,

let's go. And then like them running into a field and it's like, do, do, too, do, moats. And like everything

changed forever. Yeah, it's funny that that was the age of the of the curly mustache and a giant feather like running into it. There was a giant feathers

in trenches and then you just see the fucking feather poking out. Someone just drops a bomb. Yeah. There's one guy who was like, maybe we shouldn't be wearing the feathers

out to the water. It's tradition. We always wear the feathers. You know who that was? Adolf Hitler. There we go. How'd I know? That's how it happened.

Had I fucking know. Because history repeats itself. Wow. So there's a little boy right now who's probably going to be Hitler. Really? And are you involved in his life at all? I plan to be. When he's old, when he becomes Hitler?

Oh, okay. I have some ideas that I want to pitch him. Come on. Let's hear the ideas. It's a TV show about a little boy who has superpowers. You think that might steer Hitler off his... And this is something you're pitching him when he's still a kid or after he's grown up?

After he's Hitler and he's in charge of the media. He's pitching him my TV show. That's a good idea. Yeah, you find the fascist leader and then you just like, got like, you know... Workplace comedy, but about the dudes who do showtime.

It's a good idea. That's a great idea. That's a good ass idea. And then that's how democracy will be saved. Why did... Subliminal messages in the movies that he approves. I do want to see the showtime talking to their boss

Yeah The conductor Your speaker is sending out Some amazing feedback I believe it's the AC Oh hold that I'm going to shut up the AC

Because it's freezing in here It is a big cold Well Once the AC goes off It's going to get quite hot in here I will say that Did Goebbels ever make any comedies

You walk past that The guy Gerbles Gerbles I know you're going to fucking do that shit Gurbbles I disrespect him No I say Gobbles

Dude, you should never get someone's name wrong. At least show him the fucking a shred of human decency. It's just plain rude. He made all the movies. Remember and fucking Inglorious bastards when they were showing all the movies? He's the guy who gave him back shots. They show him giving back shots. Wait, is he...

Is that lady that he's given back shots to? Is that supposed to be Lenny Riefenstahl? Who the fuck is that, you fucking Nazi? I'm not... I took... Lenny Riefenstahl was a Nazi film one. maker. Yeah.

I took film one and our professor was like... Day one. Pretty much. That is what film history is. It literally, I mean, it starts with birth of a nation. You got that train coming into this shit. No, they don't even show us that.

We had to stay. I had to stay and watch the entirety of birth of a nation in my film one class. People... I just stay after it was like... That movie's a snooze fest. Yeah, it's fucking... No one's even talking.

Yeah. It's crap. You love it. It's a good movie. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. But the movie he made right after it is the most incredible movie I ever

saw what is that one? It's like intolerance really it's it's a movie yeah it's like four hours long it's I just don't know that any it's called intolerance and it's about how much it's about how intolerance ruins the world and you you think like oh it's like oh he he lays he's like a repenting for making

the KKK movie or whatever like oh like he really oh actually I want to make him of intolerance but like reportedly he like supposedly made it because he was mad that people were intolerant of his movie was birth of a nation like the godfather book where the kKK saw that and they were like we're going to act like that now it was originally those were supposed to be Italian people yeah in the in the makeup okay that makes sense yeah well but they reversed it too so is that

true about the godfather that that like invented the the like i think that's true but i think that's I think that's how a lot of stuff happens. I don't know if that's actually true about that, but I feel like that is a common thing where, like, it feels like a crack.com type of fact. Movies are always, people always are acting like movies because they think it's cool. I feel like that.

You always, it's always the... Dude, it's like alien ant farm said, movies. Yeah. What are alien ant farm say? They say movies. They say movies. I'm thinking of the movies.

Movies. The movies. we all want to be musicians so bad you're with our microphones la la la la I want to sing so bad in this go go you have a platform right now sing you say sex

you said sex as a first line of your sex is so good sex is so no I can't sing that well that's actually that's so funny to go up on stage and go sex no no No, no. That was my, honestly, my best effort. Sex. Sex with me so amiss.

Oh, okay. I think I'm a, what's the middle in a, like the tenor, soprano? Is it alto? Is it alto? Is it alto? I think I'm exactly in the middle. What's tenor's the really high one? Tenor's high and then baritone is low. Oh, that makes the four tenors really funny to me for some reason. Four guys singing very high?

What's the four tenors? It's a musical group of four tenors. Oh, I call that $40. Isn't that like Pavarotti or... Dude, I don't know who they are. What are you talking about, you motherfucker? They just became funny to you. Mentioning cheese names.

But I'm just imagining what's above... I mean, I would not be surprised if four guys... That makes the four tenors very funny to me. They must sing... I mean, everybody like that sings high. What's above a tenor, though? What's like the highest? The...

No, there's a real high one. Is that falsetto? But I think they're like special. I don't think that's like a normal thing, right? Well, I think they're all special. Yeah, I don't. Me, me, me, me, me. Whatever that is.

That's what I'm I singing. Me, me, me. Yeah, yeah. That's like Pavarotti. Pavarotti. Who the fuck's Pavarotti, man? That's the guy who... Italian.

Yeah, he's the first Italian. Andrea Bichelli. He created Tolente de Jolato. I love that crap. I mean, that's shit. I'll eat that till the spoon hits the bottom of the fucking container. I saved that container, and I saved that container. I'm putting tranehangs in there.

Dude, dude, it's amazing because you eat the gelato. You're like, this is so fancy. And then you save up for another gelato by putting your coins into that container. If you fill that container with pennies by the time the pennies, you have reached exactly 1% of the price.

Of a Talenti gelato. Them shits are fucking expensive as fuck. Yeah, let you spend $400 on one pint of ice cream, please. I don't think I've had one of those in many a year. A Talente? A Talente? Those are just a food. I used to fucking.

with them. I've moved on. Those are, I'm always like cylinder. Yeah, too fancy for me. It's too expensive. I'll stay with Ben and Jerry's. You go Ben and Jerry's? Yeah. I like the...

Too much crap in that ice cream. I like... And they come in small sizes, man. Van Lewin? I like, I guess that's how you say. Van Lewin. I like a Hoggandah's, man. Hagenhals strawberry.

I'll be getting the lactate ice cream, y'all. Yeah. Let me see it. You know what's bad is the Oreo ice cream? That is terrible and disgusting. Oh, like the bit... Any, any, any, well, oh, any branded one? It depends on which one.

The Oreo brand. Yeah. The one that comes in like the ice cream flavor. No, I'm not insane. Have you been seeing there's like the like, um, like those are like branded. I'm not insane. Those branded like Skittles drinks.

Yeah. Do you know the ones? Yeah. Those are so insane. Yeah. I see a lot of people drinking those though, so they must be good. It seems to me that what's been happening recently is that flavors have been jumping formats.

Totally. Have you noticed this? like they'll have they have now a Snickers milk. Cinnamon toast milk. Yeah. Cinnamon toast crunch milk. They have a crisp. Sour patch popcorn. A rice crispy bar. It's the like

it's the multi- multiversification. I went to the spices section at the grocery store and they had the onion powder, the garlic powder, then they had rainbow sprinkles. Same packaging. What about the fuck? As the onion powder? Yeah. That's crazy. That's strange. That's what I'm saying, man. Something's

That feels like a child became CEO of that company. Spinkles. Okay. What's got to put Spinkles in it? My favorite spices. Sprinkles.

Yeah, I'll get auto spices, onion, McCormick, Sprinkles. It literally I think was Macormick. Swambo. Well, if you think about it, I mean, I guess a sprinkle is a seasoning for ice cream.

It doesn't taste like anything. Is a hot dog a sandwich, though? I, God damn. God damn, you back a bastard. Oh, hi. You just have a trouble?

Well, you ate a Benadryl today. I ate a Benadry, but it's wearing off. You should have another couple of them. I'll probably take a Zyrtec when I get home. I fuck with Zyrtec. You know, you should have raw local honey instead. Yeah, you should. You should just eat raw local honey.

I'm not going to eat your honey. Come on. You should just breathe. Sorry, buddy. Alex, eat my honey. You should just breed. I should breed. That's what I'm trying to do.

You're working on it? I'm working on it. I'm putting the hours in. Oh, hell no. I hope it happens for you, but I'm just not hopeful. I'm pretty doubtful that it's possible for you. I don't think you have any motility. Well, it's, I'm beginning to think so, too, because I'm popping it out every like two minutes and it's like nothing is coming out.

Yeah. Yeah. I bet it's popping it out to check. Popping. I'm popping it. No, so I'm popping it into people. Popping it. And nothing's coming out of the. Okay.

So you're just not. The kids aren't coming out. You're just not like finishing. off. I'm finishing off. I'm getting in there. I'm squeezing everything. This is sex? Or I thought it was allergies. No, he's talking about popping it into people every two minutes. But you're so you're not, I love that. Are you experiencing orgasm? Everything. I'm everything except. So does everything except the little swimmers? Little swimmers are coming out. They're going everywhere, all over the room. It looks like soap when it comes out. It looks like clear white. Kind of bubbly. The soap with the microplastic beads in it. Well, I don't even.

see it because it's in it's you don't look into check dude they've already you got to check it i'm like to make sure it's taking my work here is done yeah and i'm out of there but no kids yet i'm trying but soon keep an eye out because you'll probably see some little alexes walking around soon the way i've been at it patrick cameron Caleb forest well that's the name of your first son your first dog that'd be really sweet if you name a dog you're all three of us when you get a dog Patrick Caleb and then just my last name. Down, Cameron, Patrick Caleb.

Forrest? I always thought it was so, I thought it was so dumb how they make you give your dog your last name. You go to the vet, they make, they print it out. They put the last name. Fuck off. The motherfucker I don't know what he got a name. He doesn't have a last name. He doesn't have a first name.

There's no, there's no, don't say that. It wasn't, it wasn't part of the deal. Hell, man. They didn't name the dog thinking about the last name. He wants a bone and that's it. Yeah. My cousin had a dog named Little Dog. It was a Doxon, and they had a German Shepherd, too.

German Shepherd inside, the doxon outside dog, named the Little Dog. I saw an Instagram real the other day with a family where the kid named the dog, and the dog's name was Roblox. That's cool. I have a feeling we're going to see an increase as a name. The most popular dog name is in 2035. I think that's like you got to, as a parent, you have to like, put your foot down. You know what I mean? Like, that's, you're the, you're the parent. You can tell your kid that they can name the dog, but you have to take, you have to take the privilege

away when they say a Roblox. Straight out. You have to be like, okay, we're not, it's not I do kind of like that name for a dog. You are, would be a Mark parent. In the 80s, that would be a six. That would be true. Roblox. Roblox. I mean, if it wasn't associated with a children's video game, I think it would be a cool dog name. Yeah. Minecraft. Yeah. That's my dog. Minecraft, my dog. That would have been a cool name, too, honestly. There's a reason why these names were chosen to be some of the biggest companies. They were cool.

They're good name. Any name that is a good company name is going to be a good dog. Straight up. Because names are names and they're good. A guy who thinks that Minecraft is the name of the company that makes my company. PayPal. PayPal would be a great name for a dog. PayPal.

Cash out is actually a really good dog. Cash have a good dog name. PayPal. That's a good. YouTube. Venmo. Venmo is a real. YouTube Venmo. YouTube Venmo is a beautiful dog.

Is this my son YouTube Venmo fetter? Or twin, it would be right. That'd be a good rot while. YV. Yeah. Yvv. Yvv. Yeah.

Vimeo. You know what you could name? No, bud. Tube. To be down. Tube get down. Pluto. That was a dog.

That was straight up a dog's name. Dude, there is. For my neighbors. Magic bullet. Magic bullet. That's a blender, though. Well, it's just got good name. That is a good name.

That is a good name. Nutra Bullets. Chlorox. Yeah. Clorox is cool. Nature's basics. Deskjet. Deskjet is cool. Deskjet. Yeah, wait a minute.

Wait a minute. That's a cat. Yeah, that is a cat name. 500. Yeah. That's awesome. One of my neighbors, they had a dog named Ginger, but whenever they would reprimand it, they would say their full name.

They would say the dog's full name, but their last name was Hole. Ginger Hole? They would just hear, like, from the street, I would just hear, Ginger Hole! oh wait that's nasty Julio what did you end up naming that damn cat

oh yeah you never you never shared it with the class I don't know I told them he should be disappointed clara pantheris but he said

he didn't name it a plate full of shit he didn't name it he didn't name it Caleb he named it Cienna guys that wasn't the winner

it wasn't even I don't even think it was that was a contestant yeah I don't even know if that was a contestant that's a good name that is a really Quistence.

Quist. Jeopardy contestant. Jeopardy. Jeopardy tournament of champions. Champion. Is your parents ever go on a like a reality or a quiz show or any of that show?

No. No. My dad went on one at some point and he was like in the last thing to get the money and he fucked up a question really bad. He never told me this. My mom told me this.

When was it? I got divorced. Sometime in the 80s. It is when you become a parent, you have full license to rewrite your entire life. Yeah. You can finally erase your game show loss. Yeah. I can feel that this is, I've never brought it up to my dad, but I can feel that it is the major pain point of his life. Of course.

It would be for anyone. On some quiz show that nobody even knows. Oh, yeah, that would feel, especially a quiz show that doesn't exist anymore. Yeah, like you're, there were like a million quiz shows back then. Yeah, it was at a time when there was a lot of those. There's a lot of game shows. There's a lot of game shows. There's a ton of game shows.

now, but none of them are quiz shows anymore. They're all mousetrap. Yeah, it's always a giant, it's an American Ninja Warrior, but like, different shit. They need to bring back the wall and minute to win it. What's the wall? That's the one where you've got to be like

and fit through that hole. Oh, yeah, like the Japanese thing and you're like that. Damn, they're so good at doing stuff to their bodies on TV over there. Japanese they do the most fuck-up stuff. Japanese game shows are far and away. I mean, every one of them has been aped by American

Documental, remember that? Do you remember the guy showed his butthole? I was saying about that the other day and I started laughing. Who showed his butthole? They are trying to make each other laugh. Oh, yeah. It's you laugh, you lose. And one guy, he sings like the national anthem

and then at the end, on like the last note, he drops his pants and pulls his butt hole out and does like the red eye where you pull your shoes apart. He does a goatee. What would you do? Red eye. What would you do if it was... Red eye.

I'm rebooting. this show in America. They haven't done that yet. It's you. Documental in America. They have, I believe. They have. I believe they have. It's you. Hinchcliff. Segura.

I'm out. I'm out. Krecher. Nah, nah. I'm out. Frysher. Who else is in this? Shab. Shab. Calin. Shop. And Bobby Lee.

It's you guys. Wow. And you're all in a room. And Christopher Mintz Plus. Christopher Mintz plus. He's the host. Yeah, he's the host. Hey, guys.

So. Face on his. You guys are going to start making each other laugh. Hello! He doesn't explain the rules. How do you make them laugh? I mean, I'd probably say some ill-constructed joke that's contrived and based in political untruths.

Yeah, that might make them laugh. I'd say a frigate slur. Yeah. They would probably applaud for that. Yeah. Would they make me laugh? Maybe if they passed away. Yeah.

Or did. That's harsh. Did some type of physical comedy, maybe? Or if they use their whip. I'd probably goof off. First thing I'm going to do is goof around. First of all, I'd get a goof off. I'd get sort of a reed of the room by goofing off.

And then I would move into physical comedy. Because if I could knock anyone out immediately just with a goof off. Yeah. I'm not even trying. I'm like sitting in the corner watching TV. Here's my new contest. That would probably find that shit funny. Yeah.

It's a house full, same show concept, right? But not comedians. is all humorists. Wow. And they're writing. Make each other chuckle. They have to make each other

raise their eyebrows. Smirk. Whoever can write Samuel Clement or Samuel Clemens. That's the O.G. I fucking know him, that's my like best friend.

That's my best friend in the fucking world, dude. Samuel Clemens. I think it should be, it should be same. Oh, last one laughing. Yeah,

they made a UK one. And I think they made another remake as well. They should make... Who the hell are at there? Okay. They should make all these... Robert Beckett. I've seen clips of that this is one of the things

that comes on my Facebook all the time when I look at my Facebook. Adam Conover? It looks quite, quite not good. Really? If you can believe it. I hate that guy. But I think they should do...

They should do that. They should do that. People in a house. But it's all like, it should all be like like bodybuilders or like soldiers. And they have to make each other. And they have to make each other laugh. That would be a much funnier show.

Like rich piano in a house. Yeah, yeah. Just people, actual people who have seen terrible things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bodybuilders. Soldiers of PTSD, firemen, and bodybuilders. Well, I was trying to think of, like, what is a type of guy that is not funny? Dude, body builders are funny.

Yeah, they are funny. They are not intentionally funny. No, they're very unintentionally funny in a way that, like, it would be hard to be in a house with them. Ronnie Coleman. He'd be good. There's this pro skater that moved to Miami

and then got on juice and everything and he's like insanely buff now and somebody just like compiled all of his Instagram stories and it's unintentionally

like the best video ever because he's just so stupid Brandon Beeble. Also that's not the second they read out the cast on Bebeble Brandon Bebel's going to be on it. Okay, so the jokes

have already begun. Yeah. Cool, great. But yeah, there's, like, a video of him. Well, the way that it's cut, maybe that makes it funnier. But, like, it's a video of him, like, feeding, like, a squirrel of peanut. And then him seeing a dead body on the street of Miami. It's him.

No, no, no. It's, like, one video of him feeding a squirrel. And then the next one is him, like, that's a fucking dead body, bro. Damn. He's just him in his, like, apartment filming it. I guess I'm not doing it. I guess you're going to see the fucking video. It should be people with emotional problems.

Yeah. They should do like a psych screening like where they normally do to like, you know, make sure everyone's okay to be on TV, but they should specifically take the people who fake there. Just make it. Who fail the psych screening. Oh, yeah. Like people.

That's the name for the show. Failures. That's a good idea. But specifically people who are only going to scream at each other. Yeah. I would not even try. People who like, oh, dude, it's called short fuses.

And it's a show of a. bunch of people that have anger problems and they're living in a house. They can't get mad. Whoa. It's a really good. Damn. It's a shot at like 50K.

And it's just like all like former arena football players and bodybuilders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People with CTE. Yeah, guys that work at like jack in the box. Yeah, just people with the worst lives who have crazy anger issues

and they all trying to make each other mad and not get mad themselves. And they have to have a panel of judges that it could not determine whether or not. People are mad. They have, you know, like, on a... Oh, heart monitors. Heart monitors on the finger.

They have, like, on those dating shows, the, like, love shack or whatever where the couples can go and have sex. You don't see it. They have that with two people, but they just, like, fight. Yeah. And you don't one of them comes out with, like, a black guy. And the other ones who dies. Yeah.

But they probably are. Oh, yeah. If you win a contest, if you win a contest, you get to go into the rage room. The raid, the rage. You get to get a competition. Yeah. You get to go smash stuff. Dude, this is actually a really fun.

You're not allowed to jack off. Yeah. Yeah. No can't jack off at all. But it only takes place over 24 hours. You have to bring three cups of coffee every morning. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. There's a peri.

They could do like terrible. That's really, because they could do like fake challenges. Like where it's like, okay guys, we're going to start reading the challenge now and just like make them wait around and like do like a meta thing

where it's like the camera person gives me like, oh wait, can we restart? They weren't in the focus. Stuff from the house goes missing all the time. Oh my. This is such a good show.

No idea. Every episode, there's a, there's like a barbershop, and they give them the stupidest haircut. Yeah. They look fucking. They get all fucking red and angry with the makeup constantly has a peasant haircut. We gave this dude the Oliver Tree. Everybody gets the Oliver Tree and then send them in. They all have to wear those wigs too.

They all have to wear Oliver Tree wigs and stay calm. And we give them uniforms that are either too big or too small depending on how they feel about their bodies. yeah this is such a good show this is a really good show the remote constantly has Vaseline on it so they can't like there's also someone in light like behind a two-way mirror switching the channel on the TV or like turning the volume up or hiding the remote or just taking the remote yeah it's a bunch of effects on the TV like somebody sitting on the yeah yeah oh dude this is so good this is a really good idea they're not allowed to eat the whole time they go yeah that might be too far

Well, it's a 24-hour show. It only takes place over 24 hours, so that's fine. They have to set themselves on fire every day. They got to shoot and they're cock off. In the first episode, they have to suck each other off. And we keep bringing in, like, like, police responding to noise complaints.

Yeah. That just keep knocking on the door, and they just have to deal with that. Every, every, like, hour, there's, like, a school bell. Yes. It just goes off, like, a really loud, like, yeah, lawnmowers. Yeah.

we're feeding them everybody's getting like every supplement everybody's getting pumped with supplements yeah yeah not allowed to not allowed to work out red on the treadmill not allowed to lift red meat only no music carnivore diet all the way through they're eating they're putting butter on carnivore diet carnivore diet to bully that sat out ew that might be gross to bully that sat out but then like before it got to like the unsafe food zone. It got put back in the fridge. I'm going to put you in the unsafe food zone. So it's like really is really soggy. Really soggy cucumbers

and tomatoes. I'm going to put you in the unsafe food zone. Whoa. Put me there. I'm going to place you into that. No, no, no. You will go into the zone. My head feels better. I don't have a migraine anymore. It doesn't feel like it's happening. Yeah. Laughter is the best mess. You were thinking about this new TV show. I know. This new TV show has brought me back.

Start seeing dollar signs in an amazing way. I genuinely think we need to talk to true TV. You're kind of dressed like a dollar too. It is a really, really good idea. Money colors. I do look like a dollar. But how do you get people to not fake the funk? I don't know. In the in the audition.

It has to be people with actual arrest records. Yeah, it has to be people. We have to do really, really extensive background checks. And also, it should be like people volunteering other people. Yeah. Oh, like the world's worst cooks show. Yeah. Like, where they get their whole family is like, my dad gets so mad that he throws my computer

out the window. Yeah. And I'm going to be real, too, in the situation that we're cooking up. even somebody who does not have anger issues is going to have a hard fucking time. That's what we do though. We also get a couple of fucking nerds in there that are just like sitting there pent up

mass shooting style and then they just one day go and freak out. It's going to be the first TV show that the set is shot up eight separate times. Yeah. It's going to be a thing like MK Ultra where like you just trace back all of the mass casualty events in the next 20 years.

They all were a sloth. were all the contestants on this one show. They were so happy when they got there. They're compartmentalize and bottle up all their rage and they're just like, yeah, created nuclear bombs. I think my worst nightmare is being on a reality TV show. I don't think that's true.

I would not eat that. No, that would be horrible. It depends on what type of show you're on. I feel like it can be a fun one. Dude, imagine him on Chop Jr. with the kids.

Oh, my God. Well, that would be funny if I pretended to be a kid to get a, No, it's not, it's like, can you cook better than a fifth grader? Again, another great show idea. Can you not better than a fifth grader? Are you a better chef than a fifth grader is the elevator pitch? Name of the show, we'll figure out a better name later.

But it's adults and they have to go up against little kids. Yeah. That's the whole show. I like that. And they're making like peanut butter and jelly and like cereal. Yeah. A cooking cereal show is amazing. Chef Caleb, your filet mignon is delicious.

but I have to say the flavors in this P.B&J are just erupting in my mouth. You've put banana in it. It's incredible. Banana and honey. Yeah, you're not even making the same food as each other. And your filet was good too. It feels a little unfair that I spent all this time on this. It is, you know, what is?

It is unfair that you're trying to trounce these poor kids. Yeah, I'm trying to trounce them. I want the fucking $2,000. Bro said he's trying to trounce kids. You chill on the children You don't want to have those words on the internet I want to trounce children Dude, they are our future

They are our future I want to destroy them Don't destroy their house I've seen too many people like you Fall victim to this situation He knows a lot of people who I've got in trouble with kids Trouncers

Yeah Cause see what you will They are bloody trounceer They're fun to hang out with bro A trouncer a trouncer. A child trouncer? I straight up know so many child trouncers, dude.

I'm warning you, bro. You're going down the path. I see the, look in your eyes, imagining trouncing. His eyes are getting yellow like a Sith. Like a trounce. I'm not imagining trouncing. I'm imagining some other shit. Yeah, like what? Just different. Bouncing. Bouncing. Well, that's okay.

Yeah. You don't imagine child trouncing. I'm thinking mild bouncing. Mild bouncing. Just something light. Like on one of those little exercise trampolines that your grandma has. And I'm next to him

on a big ass trampoline doing tricks. Yeah, that's right. Fucking trouncing. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I wish I could do tricks on the trampoline. I fucking suck at the trampoline.

I can do a backflip. Honestly, you know, we need to lower the bar. I think that simply bouncing up and down on a trampoline should count as a trick. That's a fucking trick. Because you can't just do that on the ground. No, you can't do it.

And if you want to be real about it, the trick is the invention. of the trampoline. Yeah. Because we're all, we're all under that umbrella. It creates a trick from stepping into that net.

Do you guys want to know a crack.com type fact? Okay. Yeah. Trampoline, brand name. Like Band-Aid. Yeah. Like Band-Did.

What are the other ones called that are not? Bouncing apparatus. Really? They're called Bouncer roos. Bouncerroonies. I think it's probably just one of those things

where now it doesn't have a name besides that. Yeah. Just like Trampling growing up, but it was nobody bounced on it was just a fucking octagon to fight in. Yeah, it's pretty much all it is. I wish I had a trampoline so bad. Whenever I went to a friend's house at a trampoline, I was like, God fucking damn.

They're pretty much free. Yeah. I think three different houses we moved into, they just came with the house. There's an accident that happens and then you just see like a trampoline on the side of the road. Yeah. It's a good way to get hurt. It's a really good way to get. I think that's why I did not have one.

I worked at SkyZone when I was in high school. Really? Really? Did you get free jumping? No, I didn't know that shit. No, I wasn't allowed to jump. I was a court monitor. Yeah. What, bitch?

And I was... A court monitor is not allowed to jump at all. Not allowed to jump. You've been off duty? All the parts. There was the basketball. There was the foam pit. There was dodge ball.

And then there was just the big kind of multi-purpose court where it was... Do you ever see... What was the worst accident you ever saw? I saw a dude get the like Kevin Ware thing where he, like, landed wrong. And his bone, like, broke. and ripped through his skin. It was really gnarly. That is so cool.

It was great because they closed it for like five hours. I got to go home. I remember that. I remember that the like New York Post front page that had that guy's fucking shin bone coming out of this. It gives me like I feel it in my body to simply think of that. That shit happened like every week. Trampines are so dangerous.

It was crazy. The ambulance was there like regularly. I definitely got concussed at one of those when I was probably 13 or 14. Because you just jump into people You can't stop There's like bars There's support bars Yeah

Yeah And they have kids like me watching Yeah I'm like the lifeguard I don't know what the fuck to do Unlike a lifeguard You're not like better at bouncing Than the kid

Yeah I wasn't trained Let's get this kid That would be cool If you got to have Flip in the air I think you gotta be an actual Gymnist to work at SkyZone

Yeah there's no physical Yeah whatever but it was cool. It was a fun. There should be a physical exam. There was no physical location. It was a virtual sky zone. There was no physical reality.

When you tell people that story, you shouldn't end it with it. It was a dream. Yeah, I got to stop doing that. Kind of kills every story. Yeah, the crazy thing part about that was that it was just a dream. Yeah, it was an imaginary world. Just amazing that. Talking to my therapist.

And it was none of that. Well, that would actually work in that. Yeah. Well, we would have a breakthrough, but I, this is all a dream. But no, what you say? This is all, this is all in real life. So none of this matters.

Wow. Because that's what if that therapist is going to do. Yeah. They're for your head. They're not for the stuff that happens in real world. Yeah. They don't know what's going on. They've never been.

That's why they invite people into their offices. Tell me. Tell me about the world. Tell me what it's like out there. Yeah. You're stressed out because you have a job. What is that? Yeah.

They don't know. Yeah, they just basically get paid to hang out. Yeah. It's a problem about it. Pretty much. Therapist. Yeah. Yeah.

My problem is that they fucking talk too much. Just listen. I was, I just don't ask me about the problem. Just sit there and listen. Exactly.

I'll give you the money. Yeah. I just want you, I want to riff with somebody. Yeah. I just want to shoot my ideas off of somebody. They write them down. Give me the paper when I leave.

I'd rather list of ideas. They just only talk and I don't say anything. Yeah. I did go to, I did like the free, like, therapy in college where you go like four times and I just like to see what was up and I went and I didn't have it was a girl and I did have like the step brothers thing where by the fourth session I was like I'm in love with you I love you so much I have the same problem with therapy that I have with massaging where I just think that they would fall in love with me too fast yeah and I don't really like I'm telling you everything yeah I love you I'm telling you How cool I am. I'm sitting here telling you how cool my life is.

You're going to catch feelings. There's no doubt about this. Do you guys get all the way naked? I feel like we've talked about this. At the therapist? When you get a therapist, yeah. Or the therapist, yeah, they got to see what you're working with. Yeah.

Because it's a problem. I leave the leave. Okay. Yeah, we have talked about this before. For a massage. You leave the underwear on. You leave the towel on. I mean, why?

Yes, of course. Why are you not? Why are they going to, they should make like a wet suit. They're going to go into your butt crack. They should make. make a wetsuit for massages. But it's another layer.

They're not going enough onto your butt that you need. I mean, coconut oil on the hand going up and down the buck crack. They get in your butt crack. They do. They really get in there.

They really, really do, Cameron. I've never had a massage. I don't know about any of that. Me neither. My dad's told me horror stories. Yeah. I went to this place

and they made me pay them for sex. I had got massed a few times. And then I told you this before they pinched my nerve. And I had to wear a sling. Or like a week off of massage In high school, yeah I've never

Literally the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life No, no joke Did it seem like they were not very good at massaging? I mean, I don't fucking know Massaging is just like this They don't know It's not real

It's like a chiropractor The last like two massages I've gotten I think they do this with like bigger guys Where the lady has just like stood on my back Oh yeah Yeah I'm like, this hurts. It also hurts, like, it hurts badly.

Every massage hurts, even if they don't hurt you. Yeah. But, yeah, once I found out that a massage could damage your body in such a way, I've never gone back, it's not worth it. Yeah. To get oiled up and relaxed a little bit. Bro. Yeah. Fuck oil.

Dude, I don't want to get oil. I don't mind getting oil. Dude, fuck oil. I have no, you know, in the Korean spots. I'll pay you for the whole hour, but oil. me up and I'll leave. Oil me up, let me put my clothes back on. A good agreement between us.

Just dunk me in the oil. I can't get this oil at my house. I don't know where to buy it. What they use like baking oil? No. They use baking oil. Shortening. They use shortening.

They rub you down. Did you guys ever get a spray tan? No. My mom did all the time. I was thinking about it when I came back from, uh, from Florida. I was thinking about like getting like a really funny spray tan to make it look like I got like super tan. when I was down there

but I ended up getting insanely sunburnt and I was like I might as well A detail I want to add to my massage story really quick is the reason that I was getting

massages in high school is because my mom wanted me to get massages because she thought it would cure my depression that's awesome and I just wanted to wear a sling and explain to kids

yeah this is a massage injury way worse I just want to throw that in there as a detail. That's a great. I had to go get this massage I didn't want. Now I've got a fucking pinched in her.

That's a Greg Heffley ism. That is Greg Heffley. That is a full Greg Heffley energy. What's his friend's name? Rowley. Rowley. What a name you never see that often. Rally.

Outside of the books. And frankly, too. You don't see too many. I've met a couple of Freggleys. I've known. You guys ever noticed Greg Heffley, Freggley, perhaps. And also Rowley.

He's a figment of the. He is the opposite. Greg, Fregg. I'm just saying, man. He says bizarro. Yeah, I think that he might be like a projection of his brain. Fragley was not a... You know, Fragley got the cheese touch.

Well, plenty of kids got the cheese touch. You know, you know, Fragley got the cheese touch. I had a dream the other night. I was in their world. As an adult. Where you stick or were you, you? I think it was me. you weren't stick

well it was the movie version oh god I never saw well they do they do a little bit of stick in the movie during like character introductions or like transitions

yeah they'll do a draw so what did you think of loaded diaper when you saw them live you know people sometimes are like they were good

people will be like they should for the MCU they should make movies that are just like about normal people in the MCU they should do that for for Diary of Olympic

there's a guy going to work who lives in the same universe as Greg Heffley. The climax as he goes to see the loaded day. That's just mostly stuff where he like walks by like Greg Heffley's mom on the street or like she like comes into

his office or something. That'd be good. And then he could be like walking by like a bunch of TVs like Sean of the Dead and it has like a ruse report about the cheese touch. Yeah. That's really cool. Yeah. Medical experts are calling it the cheese touch. If you touch the person with the cheese touch

you have the cheese touch. You have it. You have it. Oh, God. Oh, God. Running off of the... Probably nothing. Probably nothing. This is the person

who currently has the cheese touch. It just shows like a kid. Yeah. This is who currently has it. Was the cheese touch? Could only one person have the cheese touch at a time? Yeah. So you could give it to somebody.

It should be like a guy who's basically like the Forrest Gump of the Dyerville. Like he's like at he's, he's there when Raleigh breaks his arm. He dropped the cheese. He's like a, he like, he's sold the drum. to Roderick. They do like a black phone type of movie where it's like a guy and he kidnaps like Fregley

and torches him and he lets him go because you don't really see Freggley that's a great idea. And it's called the Torture of Freckley. A-24. Damn. For no reason. Freggley.

The torture of Freggley. There's no reason why he picks Frigley. And, oh, my God, he's tortured. He's like, won't feed him. The only thing he'll feed him, a slice of cheese. Oh, my God. So then you kind of get to see why Fregley becomes, like, it foreshadows the cheese touch. We should do the, really great idea.

We should do the list now. Okay. You guys still doing that? Yeah, we're still doing that. Yeah, dude, five weeks of friendship. Five weeks of friendship. We got to get into it. So this is a list we found here today.

This is the top 10 love versus arranged marriage memes. I couldn't even, I mean, help you in taking a decision. Literally, maybe 15 seconds of... Huh? Well, nothing. Finding something. He found us.

Yeah, this is what I've found. This is one of the first ones. So this is the differences between arranged marriage and love marriage. So which one do you think you would eat? Which roti looks better. Ooh. The...

I got to say the arranged marriage one looks more. A little more puffed up. Because it's in color, right? But I like the crispiness. Who doesn't like a crispy roto? I love a crispy. Because you know what? Love ain't perfect.

Wow. Love ain't perfect. I think love is perfect. You're going to bite into that roti, which is a food I'm learning about today. It's good as fuck. What's going to be in there? Probably.

It's air. You're biting into that. You're getting more into the flat one. You kind of know what you're getting. Right. The other one could be anything. It could be fucking anything. It could be poison gas in there.

Yeah. So you can look at this both ways. think. Ooh, a video. You are on the five weeks of French. Oh, thank you. Welcome. So loud.

What's loud about it? And then next slide. I couldn't put it in one. Back one, back one. I really like that video a lot. This one goes out to Alex. That's right. Alex.

When I met you, I thought you were a hundred feet tall. Because I looked up and I saw your hairy ass ball Your ball sack was in my face Wow And we lived in the same place for like two years And we had about 200 beers In the time that we lived together Probably even more

We used to go to the store And get beers there On the living room TV You used to watch the bear I used to watch you watch TV threw a hole I've drilled in the wall Did I mention that you were tall

I want to see you play With your balls Also in like a month We have a show at Union Halls Wow Yeah you just write it You let that thing go man Yeah

Yeah Damn Bro that was come on Do you see the thing where Kanye said That he wired his mouth shut To stop him from sucking him on a penis Yeah Jock told us about that

Sucking on his own penis. You are uninformed, man. If you haven't heard about whose penis he was sucking. I didn't know. Oh, his cousins. Oh, yeah. You haven't even seen this? No.

What? That's fucking crazy. You don't know about cousins? No. Wow. What's going on? Kanye is being weird. Oh, is this a new song he just put up?

Yeah. A couple weeks ago. Having sexed his cousins? He sucked on his cousins. He said, he gave my cousin head. You never heard that? No, I didn't listen. I kind of, I haven't been keeping up.

Yeah, it's a lot. keep up with it's a lot i gotta check that out that was you're gonna like that song it's a good song that was good is that the list you basically got bait and switch yeah because i think we were almost at an hour or we are over an hour maybe yeah and so basically we've been doing patrick has been putting the same uh list up and don't tell whoever the next guest is don't tell oh yeah i kind of fumbled the joke on the neal episode because i put a different one but the joke is that i've been doing the same list every time in the same way that we didn't know Even until three weeks into the, or two weeks into the five weeks of friendship, that's what we're doing.

You didn't know that was the joke. I didn't know that was the joke. And that's the great thing about this is we're building it. It evolves. It evolves as we go. And Patrick recently was named the new creative director of Solved the Frog Enterprises. Co-creative director, junior co-creative director. I think I saw that on LinkedIn. It's in the train.

Yeah, it's in deadline. It is on my LinkedIn now. Really? I did put it up there. Well, no shit. I would hope you put somebody. I hope you would put junior co-creative director. I'm not really thinking I'm going to put junior anything on my LinkedIn.

Your junior co-creative director, because this is my creative director. It's just so like nothing. Like, fuck you. You did show a lot of initiative yesterday. I did commend. I did commend. Well, you promoted me, and then Cameron complained, and then you demoted me under Cameron. Yeah, I demoted you to junior co-creative director.

Because, I mean, that's just a. That's co-creative director. I got co-crued. But wait, is he under you or he's side-by-side? He's under me. So he's co-creative. I guess he's side-by-side. So he's junior creative director.

No, you're, yeah, junior co. Yeah, junior co. Fine by me. Okay. But anyway, I'm glad we figured this out. The five weeks of friendship is about sending up. And you know what? I commend you for help telling us to figure out. Okay, Mr. Command.

Thank you for my commendation. Very many commendations. I think maybe you might get the emotion soon if you keep talking like this. Who? Me? Yeah. I'm complimenting him. What are you talking about? I thought you were making fun of my creative directing style. Can I give you a kind of despotic? Being creative, it means being open to others. You don't want to shut people down. You thought I was making fun of you because I was saying. Would you like a position? Would you like a position as junior creative director for Sullivan the Frog Enterprises? No, I would not. You have to know. It's a fucking, it is a, it seems like a nightmare. It's a grueling job.

And our boss is out of his fucking line. It is not, I do not recommend this job. I rule this shit like an iron with an iron fist. Okay. Pays all right. Like not as good as you would think. No. Right.

As it really not at all. Junior co. You'd think that'd be a fucking six figure salary. I'm a very popular. A very niche thing. Junior. Extremely popular. Yeah.

So Alex. Yeah. This is a send up of you, my friend. Not a send up. This is a send up. of you. But that means a spoof. It means you're going to roast me.

Well, maybe it's nothing. It's us honoring you. This is an homage. It's an homage to you. Okay. So, and he does music.

Okay. I usually have, I've been doing toasts. I've been toasting the, so, I don't know if anybody, if I don't know if you have anything here. Yeah,

the pencil works. I thought you said I have my capsule. My capsule. My capsule. Kill myself. Alex. uh one thing i love about you you always got that capsule on you yeah yeah that's right uh just in case all you're very musically talented yeah you're always uh inventing new genres check out the forest project

yeah the forest project the forest experiment yeah i think uh formerly you're your fashion sense you're daring i would say so too yeah i would say that i've never seen someone wears such daring shorts on this on this podcast I don't think that these are even that daring I would even take

three inches off the bottom if I were you Yeah that's and that's something I like about you too

is that you can always spare three inches off the bottom Yeah You know There's always enough to go

around for everyone and you will one day be king of a new country So to Alex to Alex

Alex. Alex. Thank you Cameron. Cheers. Cheers. To friendship as well and Caleb has something

to show you. I've been getting into digital mosaics is what I'm calling them. Okay. Or maybe now I'm calling them something new. Maybe I'll call them digitized mosaics. And it's kind of a new art form that resembles pixel art, but it's my own sort of special twist on it. Okay. So if you want to go ahead and show what I did, I did a portrait of you in digitized mosaic. Let's see it.

Pull that shit up. You're under the sea. So as you can see, see, it's you. Oh, as you can see. You have a minion t-shirt on because you love movies. And then there's coral kind of framing you on each side. We have a little octopus and a shark, watch out for the shark. Is that the shark up in the right?

Shark is on the right. I thought that was a helicopter. Yeah, me too. Well, that's what I was so great about digitized mosaic art is that you, there's a lot of room for interpretation. Because I'm working with very few pixels or digital mosaic tiles. Can I ask something about this? and I don't want you to get mad like you usually do when I ask something about them.

I think I know what you're going to ask. And the answer is, I just wanted to make them symmetrical this time. Okay. You're always asking about the same. She's always, okay. What's up with the fucking hands?

Yeah. Well, my question today is actually close to the hands. Is there, I just noticed you can't have really short arms. Short arms and a short shirt. All right. This is nitpicking a little.

I'm wearing like a crop top. No, I want, again, look, man, I want it, I want you to speak on it. I want to know this part of your crop top. That's a belt. Oh. That's a belt. Okay. And that's a jellyfish on the other side?

It's some kind of shit. And I think a coral reef at the bottom. That was Thomas. Let's pull up Neil. Neal's was probably on the power point. Go back. Let's compare and contrast you. I just, the anatomy kind of.

I like to think that I'm getting better and better with each. See, because I think these arms, I think, are, I think you're getting better on the arms. That's a very, like, Thomas stance. Okay. Well, this was just the picture of Neil and I just changed the hair color. Okay. But you, I think I did a pretty decent job of true to life. I will say I started with the legs first and maybe I overshot the height of the legs.

And then I realized it was maybe running out of room at the top. I think by the end of, by the end of the five weeks of friendship, I could make a video game. I'll say that maybe... About all my friends? If the five weeks of friendship were maybe like the seven or eight weeks, I think you would be... I think you'd be pretty sitting pretty by the end of it.

How long did this take you? I sort of working on it, what is today? Today is Sunday. Sunday, I started on like Wednesday. Okay, wow. I came into the studio and I started on this on... Because you have to go one by... On a picture like this, you've got to go one pixel by pixel

and pick what color is this pixel going to be... Well, there's a lot of editing here. And then also, you know, I go through and I find new... tools. For example, this time I learned that you can use a paint bucket to fill in negative space. So I, uh, it really sped that aspect of it. What's the like kind of just thing floating next to my arm? So that's like either kelp or like kind of a textural wave in the ocean, kind of maybe a current. That's a cool for a textual wave. Textual wave. It sounds,

that's a nice artistic little touch. Also, it could be seen as seaweed or some kelp. Oh, it's always open to interpretation. Or, you know, an eel. Yeah, could be an eel. Is he drowning? Is he dying? No. In this? No, no, no. Okay. No, I see this as kind of, you know, when you go to an aquarium and they have that section that's like a cutout, you know, the bubble. Maybe he's

in one of those. Okay. You know, I don't want to speculate too much. It's also a little magical realism, you know what I mean? I like that. Yeah, that's cool. Encanto. Encanto. I watch incont, it's funny you say that. I watch incantto, The day I started this, I watched it. It kind of has the Enkanto energy. The same kind of color language. Yeah.

Blues. Yeah. Pinks. Yeah, I mean, I think there's a reason why the movie looks like that. I will say that here because it looks good. Yeah, they made it in the same type of program. I think they made it the same program. Well, yeah, we both used Unreal Engine 5.

And that was, that's my, I'm getting better at Unreal Engine 5 every day. Disney's been doing it since like the 50s, 40s. Yeah. They have decades and decades It just started And it all looks like that And if you look at the original stuff It looks very similar to that

And you know what? I had a gift for you though I was supposed to give I was supposed to put it in a bag But I forgot What it is What it is What it is

We don't even know about this It's so we're excited to learn I smelled his butt and it didn't stink Oh he's getting a bag He put his butt in my face And it didn't stink At all Stinky

but this is a true story I didn't have like wash my butt until I was like 10 didn't know that was your parents job yeah that's what I thought and then they stopped doing it when I was like that's what my parents that might said we're going till double digits and then

you got to watch this yourself just the stuff that I left at the apartment yeah oh my God he knew what his gift was right away wait what is it what stuff did you leave it's all stuff that he left at my apartment when he moved out oh it's a nice wear name brand Tupperware A bandana that he left.

A green bandana. Remember when I was wearing this? I remember. That was a look. I remember his phase of bandanning. And then the top of a pot lid. Now this one is really great because there's the holes on it. And I don't know if you remember this.

But when we used to make spaghetti in the house, you can put the pasta through the water through that. Oh, that's nice. What do you mean you can put the water through it? Like you can strain it. You can strain it in the pot. Oh. With the hole? No.

You tilt it. Yeah, you tilt the pot. Oh, you know what I've seen, though, is the strainer's that are in the pot. I wish you got me that instead. Well, it's not. It's one you already had. What are you going to do? Okay.

Those are cool, man. I'm watching all those Stanley Tucci cooking videos. Oh, yeah. The movie show, the docu. I don't think it's come out yet. Where he's going around. He's traveling to old Italy. The movie show, the docu where he's going around.

It's out already. It's out already. Movie show, docu-movie where he's going around. Stop making fun of my friend for trying to talk about his interests. Thank you. It's very against the spirit of the themed week. I would say creative director, so it's interesting you would take it that way. I'm noticing your abuse on full display.

I love it. I don't know, and it's terrifying, dude. You better be scared. You're lucky you're not. You're lucky you didn't take that job. Because I would be. He's a slave driver. Fear in your eyes.

Oh, yeah. I work these two to the bone. The life has been sucked completely out. Yeah, I was, I used to be vivacious. That's not the only thing that's getting sucked out is blood. Oh, God. Well, yeah, and we're, yeah, well. Just downright vampiric.

Vampires suck. You guys remember that movie? Yeah, I saw that in the theaters. And I hated it. I hated it so much. I went home that night. Facebook status, right? 8, 9 at night.

I'm sitting there. That's dark. Empire sucks. Imagine, imagine Lina Dunham girls. Uh-huh. All adventurous girls do type, type scene, right? Yeah. My 13-year-old, 12-year-old ass sitting at the computer, backspacing, da-da-da-da-da.

And then, oh, my God, I got it. Vampire sucks, sucks. Yo! Dancing on my own. I'd be on my fucking in the kitchen where my mom kept the computer for some reason. I'm sitting there like, I think I posted in the Emerson group, the freshman class. Yeah. Suicide Squad actually wasn't that bad.

Where you got like 80 comments. Yeah. It was awesome. When was that? That was the summer before freshman year. Oh, I thought you were saying you did this like... A recent year.

Yeah. Well, that second one, I liked that one. Yeah. Oh, that one. Yeah. That was kind of the funny one. Yeah. I remember you like...

Oh, dude. I watched that at like three in the morning. I came home drunk. Oh. Oh, shit. You're like, no way! Yeah. I was blasted.

I was like, maybe. You and Neil in an apartment is a recipe for a serious Marvel marathon. Oh, yeah. Come on. Oh, yeah. You guys were popping through those fucking movies. When we first moved in together, it was like, oh, yeah. The Snyder cut came out when we first moved in together.

That was crazy. Dude, we all, like, Joe's girlfriend came over. Like we all had like, did you come over? I would know. We watched the whole thing. We watched the whole thing and we're all sitting in the living room like, wow. I was sober at the time. I was like probably, I think I was like.

Is it good? I thought it was fire, bro. Three, four months into that. Snyder cut of what? It flew by. Justice League, right? Yeah, Justice League. Yeah.

I was three or four months into sobriety and I was honestly like, this is, this is great. That was cool. Dude, this is black and white. Yeah. that's the chrome four three four three aspect ratio

yeah it was in four three in black and white yeah dude the chrome that's a different edition I think I watched that one wait why is it chrome it's it's cool are you thinking of black and chrome

the Mad Max Fury Road one oh maybe I am I think the Snyder cut was fully black and white the Snyder cut is black and white no parts of it yeah fully parts of it it's not but there wasn't like a separate version it just was black and white

yeah we watched I know, I remember watching the whole thing. Black and Chrome is the Fury Road, black and white one. Yeah, but I know that, for sure. I like color. Color is a fascinating. I prefer color movies. Color makes our so vibrant.

That's real. That's real. Speaking of vibrance, you're going to be a more vibrant person if you come to our shows. Oh, yeah. You come to our show at Union Hall. Union Hall, when he says our,

he means me and Alex. We have nothing to do. They have nothing to do. do with this. I wipe my hands clean of this show. But spiritual I probably won't be there. Yeah. But I will be away. Your vibes will be there. I'll face time.

I will make sure they don't get in. Yeah. All right. Well, he doesn't want to be at this show, but he will want to be at the show on Friday. Yeah, we are in Boston on Friday of this week. Yeah. The Crystal Ballroom. In Somerville, Massachusetts. Very excited. It's going to be very fun.

Go buy a ticket. And please come and have fun with us and we love to be there and have a good time. And what food were we going to eat in Boston that's going to bring back nostalgic memories? Privas, Marias, Marias, we're going to go to that one. Philopuckin Busters. McDonald's. Maria's got those skinny burritos. I do like those. You know what I remembered the other day? Playing emoji to the Tam. And guys, I officially today, while I'm in Boston, I will be going to the Jordan's Furn

Trimax. Shit. The Jordan's Fern Trimax? Are you kidding? Oh, wait. Yeah, I know, I know. But wait, I wanted to say what I remembered. Yeah. Pepper Man.

Petman, Batman, Batman. He was there for Pepper Man at New York Pizza. It might be a return of Pepper Man. We might see a return to Pepper. Wait, you know what? Last time we were in Boston or two times ago. That was less a year ago. That was only a year ago.

Pepper Man feels like a lifetime. It was kind of, well, I mean, we were kind of thrown back into it. or past lives. You might want to... Through the power of alcohol. That was kind of, yeah, that was like a one year ago thing that we, during that time,

we were existing three years before that. Yeah. Or five years before that. And you want to buy tickets to the show because I think Peppa Man's going to be performed live. I think Peppa Man will be performed live. We found Peppa Man. Resurrected.

We might crown the new Peppa Man. Oh, the Peppa Man in the audience right now. Is Peppa Man? Peppa Man is a guy. Yeah. I'm not Peppa Man. No, he's not. No, but I'm talking about the song.

I'm talking about the guy. I'm saying there might be a new Pepperman. Extended track. Petman Remix. I don't know if the remakes of PJ Cowell. I don't know if I can promise that. I'm going to say the remixes extended remix of Pepfman will not be performed. What if we take a bunch of like mid-2000s like posse cut verses and just put it on you doing a chorus where you say Pep Man, Bed Man, Pet Man.

Yeah. You want to do. I don't know how I feel about performing a song in general. Nah, you're going to do it. That is so, like, not Peppa Man, dude. That is the opposite. I'm not Peppa Man. What man are you then?

I'm just me. He's Camryca Man. Wasn't that one of us? Paprika Man. Pepprika Man. Well, that's obviously the third man. I wait a minute. I still have it in my.

Superman, Sima Man, Salton Man, Salt Man, Paprika Man. Cinnamon Man will be at our Union Hall show. Yeah, Cinnamon Man will be there. On June 5th. Maybe I will pull up. Well, there will be. some type of Peppa Man. Yeah.

I got to re-downlow Garage Man. All right. We'll listen to it later. Bye. Bye, bye. What would be the worst animal to find out you made pregnant? It's got to be a whale.

The whale would be bad because it's a hard animal. If you were going to store. Jerking off and you squirted it out some jizz and it hit a fucking bug. And the bug got pregnant. A human. Just like an old hunter. with a pit helmet by the fire. A human.

Oh, cool, man. Oh, really. My land is the darkest animal. Yeah, well, we were just having a couple drinks. I'd rather die. We're just shooting the shit. He doesn't say, human. He says, a man.

You're at just an outdoor bar. He's like, he's just warming himself on the fire. Oh, my God. A man. Man. Believe you, you. I've seen some shit.

Yeah, it'd probably be a bug for me too Laying your seat in a man One man, okay, who else? Laying your seat in a man and watching it grow I've had to do it They made me do it It was a survival situation It was me or him

We had a plane crash in Vietnam We were there for about two hours And I had no choice But to get him pregnant He had a crime cut on his abs and I had to kiss and suck with my ass.

They'll tell you that they'll tell you that devil's unreal, but I've seen one and he was carrying my child. Yeah, he's holding back as he has to pay child support. I was holding his hand in the supermarket. He divorced

the guy he got pregnant. That's why he's like, I would never get him pregnant. This whole world just keeps spinning. This tangled heart can't. take it any longer. This is all happening at Mission Warbicue.

Tell me again about the bugs. What were you saying about the bugs? Oh yeah, we were just saying like, you know, you shoot a load and it gets some air time and it hits a bug, you know. Oh, this strange sphere we find ourselves clinging to. Okay. I'm going to close out. What did you guys get to eat?

Oh, that smells good. Oh, my God. Oh, dear. Oh, it's Morgnight, I see.