Podcast About List - Ep. 341 - When I eat a burger I also eat the wrapper ft. Shy's Burgers

Episode Date: May 28, 2025

Friend of the show and burger expert Shy joins us today to rate our ideas for restaurants we've had before, and also Caleb admits he eats the paper at Hardee's at some point.Follow Shy's Burgers and FrysSubscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/showsGet extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Oh, dude, we don't have any ingredients. We have plenty of ingredients. We have ingredients. What ingredients? Look around you. You, we have costumes. Yeah. I do have a bunch of powders in the bag.

You have a bunch of powders? I'm not lying. What powders? Garlic. I got powders. And I got leaves. And I have a knife in my bag. What are these powders?

We could, oh my God, wait. You could teach us how to make a spice blend, huh? That's a really good segment. Or a spicy leaf. Yeah. I wish we set up a third camera and a table so that we could do that. We could cut to you, like, putting on an apron going over there. Shai, it's so flavored sparkling water.

I think garlic. You want to put that in my mango sparkling water from house? Pepper. People at house would not be happy. Bayleafs. A bay leaf, maybe. They've never done savory. Yeah, I fuck with Peppa on anything.

Oh, they have. I've seen it. The house? Not house. They got savory drinks. Savory drinks are rare, though. Have you seen it's the type of thing they do just to make you go. It's called Aura Bora and they sell it at D2

And they had it was like It was like strawberry and like rosemary or something That doesn't sound savory to me Yeah that's not quite safe There's a savory element Yeah but we're talking pure savory Which they do as a novelty They do rosemary celtzers though

You see a video on Instagram someone said Yeah we're gonna have well There we go It's kind of close to actually something we created Yeah something we made Did I consult you on that? No. I did not consult you on alcoholic beef stew.

But it just goes to show that beef stew is kind of an obvious that even a chef would think to modify it. Did you put just liquor into it? We put George Dickel white in it. It was white. It was white whiskey. Overproofed corn whiskey. And we did like a boiler maker with beef stew.

Yeah. And I think it's easily the worst thing I've ever tasted. Pretty terrible. Pretty terrible. It was really gagging. We have two bowls of it in the bathroom. You have to eat. Yeah, we made it in the bathroom.

Yeah. But that's why I think it's such an amazing honor to have you on, Mr. Shai. This is Shai, by the way, because we talk about, I would say, in the pie chart of what we talk about, over 20%. 80% food. A lot of food. Literally, mostly food. A lot of food, restaurant ideas. Truly just food, to be honest.

Yeah. If it's not food, it's what comes after food. Which is still a type of food. Yeah. To artistic sensibilities. Yeah. It's food. But yeah, you guys talk about food a lot. We do.

Sometimes correctly. So, okay. So if you can, if you know that we just go ahead. Yeah. And like call us out. What if we said that you find a food mistake. Incorrect about food. Putting, getting put on the spot.

I got nothing. Yeah, that's right. Because you don't have anything at all. Because he got nothing at all to say. Yeah, I don't want to set this up as chef versus humans or any sort of make any sort of draw a line like that. I just want, I want your feedback on our restaurant ideas. What was that one we had a couple years ago that was so genius? I don't remember.

There's literally hundreds. I remember the one that's near and dear to my heart, which is the elevated McDonald's called arches. That's a good idea. Yeah. You have to admit. And the restaurant is in the arch?

Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, stuff like that. It's more of like a marketing pitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fancy McDonald's. Yeah. Very fancy McDonald's called arches.

What's the hooters they put out that has no boobs? Oh, yeah. It's like they would be that or something. Who out? It's some shit like that. It's something like that.

It would be that, but it's McDonald's. Maybe not even burgers. Maybe other meat or maybe like a lamb. Salisbury steak. Salisbury. steak would be amazing. One of the fanciest foods on the climate.

Yeah. Sounds really. A double-decker burger. Well, they already do that. A burger. A burger without a bun.

Without the name burger. Yeah. Choped sirloin. A thing. Yeah. Just a simple item. Yeah. And no toys, by the way.

Of course not. Well, replace those with the ornaments. Yeah. Christmas or would you like an ornament? Yeah. Watches. That's what they give out.

Key chains. Key chains. Key chains would be good. Fridge magnet, Cuff links. Cuff links. Bumper stickers. Yeah.

I call bumper stickers. Thanks for the car stickers. You don't necessarily put them on the back. And I don't own a car. Oh, yeah. It's a simple mistake that a lot of non-car owners use. God, what else? What other restaurant ideas do we have?

I feel like we had one that it was less. Most of the time, it's not even really about the food. No. I would say it's about the construction of the building that the restaurant kind of takes place. Yeah. Well, that's the thing.

We should have had an architect on to talk about the building. I can talk about buildings. Okay. Let's hear your first building idea. I like arches, but the McDonald's is physically in the arches of the restaurant. God damn, you're a genius. And then every night you sell two VIP tables that are at the two top to the arches. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And strapped in. Yeah, it's a roller coaster, essentially. Or you could have it where, okay, here's my pitch on arches. It's the same thing, right? But you get in the pod and you stay there all day. And at the very bottom of the first arch, you have breakfast. Then you eat breakfast.

Then right in the middle, it stops. You have lunch. Yeah. It's kind of like a ferris wheel. Yes, and then begins the dinner portion of the arch. And you can't leave. You can't get up. No, there's not.

And there's nothing in between. You're in there forever. Yeah. It's just like being in an elevator. You can get a snack. There's table steps. Like at the side, you know, at this position, you can get. There's a snack.

It's like hot dog at the turn. When you get into the pod at the, this side of the arch, you are in there for 16 hours. You make a commitment. Yeah, you cannot get out. How much is it? It's really, really. It's a $450 tasting menu.

It's a tasting menu. Yeah. It's a three square meal tasting menu. Yeah. That has one meal. And it's everything from the menu. You have to finish it. You have to finish it.

thing from the menu. Because if you don't finish it, then the, the weight of your compartment will become too great and you'll come crashing down. Yes, exactly. Have you ever been to one of these, because you like food? That's safe to say. Yeah. Have you ever been to one of these extremely fancy restaurants where they draw your food on the table? Like a line of Chicago? I've been to one. Which one? I went to Jose Andreas restaurant when I was a kid. Like, I think I was like... So it was wasted on your child. Yeah, completely. It was like peak molecular, gastronomy, bubbles and, you know, all that stuff.

Really? Never liked it. Yeah. It's stupid. So you then... Really fucking stupid. You don't find it even just a little bit cool. I feel like if I had eaten that when I was 15, that would have blown my mind.

And I probably would refuse to eat it up. I would have become a physicist. I thought it was cool as fuck. I would have made, been in college making bubbles for dinner every night. There's this restaurant in Spain, Muggeritz, where you eat. I would order all that off the time. They present to you a face. And they put, I think it's like, they put food on the face.

I think it's like a dessert or made. What do you mean by a face? Yeah. It is a like mask, like a death mask. Oh, okay. Oh. And they show you the death mask and then you like eat it off. Oh, God.

Wow. You went there? I did not go there. Oh, okay. Do you ever get into doing that shit where you eat the sushi off that naked women? Come on. I, one of the first boners in my life was watching me man. On MTV.

Eat off a naked woman. woman, do the sushi thing on TV. Like the tiny, I was watching it on a TV like this. I saw that. I, I didn't see that one, but I had a similar boner watching it on Ripley's Believe It or Not hosted by Mario Lopez. Let's see just how similar they are. Yeah. Or not Mario Lopez.

Who hosted Ripley's Believe it or not? I don't know. Ripley. Probably Ripley. But they did the sushi, the edible sushi and I got a boner watching that. And I remember like, We Man particularly was like a pervert. Like he was a pervert. He would grab the sushi and then, like, drag it across. Oh, God.

Like, he's dipping it. Yeah, he's, like, dipping it into the nipple and going, hmm, so salty. Yeah. If you're polite, you got, you have to eat all of the sushi that's covering up the, you know, the not interesting part. Yeah. You got to eat it all.

I mean, a belly belt and roll. Yeah. You need a full arm. You know what I mean? You're not the first guy that he could sushi take a pussy sushi away. It's a lot of sushi. Yeah. It's a too much.

It is. You get to that point and you're like, ah, I got, I got, you don't want to be. They're looking. Please don't take this My underwear sushi away I'm still hungry I don't know

I have to eat 500 pieces of sushi I'm still fucking hungry I might need that piece of crab Yeah You think anyone's ever fed the sushi lady With the sushi 100% Yes

Yeah no doubt They gotta do it I think every those Their mouth is right there Because it's not about the sushi Yeah It's never about eating sushi What do you mean by that

Oh What else could be a duck? Do you think it's good sushi or it's got to be crap? I think it depends. If you're, like, doing it in Japan, it's probably pretty good. Probably not bad. It's probably pretty good if it's in Japan. Like, if you're doing it in Encino or something in a strip mall, it's probably...

Can you get like an omacase where they bring out two roles at a time on a different woman? A bunch of different women. Yeah. Like the conveyor belt? Yeah, yeah. Do they do conveyor belt naked sushi? Yeah, just foot to head, just all the way down the entire conveyor belt? I think it's a great idea.

I don't know why people don't do it. Again, we walked into an amazing restaurant idea. Another idea. They just come to us. Perfect idea. Yeah. And how come nobody ever did soup off that? Yeah.

Soup bowls. Soup off a woman. Make her go in bowl shape. I went and saw a... She has to hold a lobster biscuit her hand. I was thinking she kind of just curls up and let and... Creates a bowl. Yeah.

bowl on her stomach. And it's kind of like spilling out of the gap between her arms. We hire a bunch of people with pectus excavatum. I don't know what that was, but I was about to say webbed appendages. And that too. It has to be a per. We make this person in a lab. Okay.

Somebody who has, they have the, the chest that goes in. Yeah, concave chest. Bread to be a soup bowl. Yeah. A person who's bread to hold soup. Yeah. Dad, why do you make me sleep with his bowling ball on my chest? Oh my God.

No reason. Full restaurant personal bread guy who's a bread bowl. Two guys slices of sandwich bread. Another one just fell over there. Oh, yeah. We're going to be quite distracting. We have these, uh, these darts that have, they're suction cup darts. But two very skinny guys who are bread slices.

But then you eat, like, you don't eat the men. Where is this? They're on top of each other? Yeah. Or, or, yeah, sure. Well, there's stuff in between. There's, you know, sandwich fillings in between them. That is a lot of meat.

That is a lot of meat. it's a special It's not It doesn't really matter to me that it's special I don't want to eat Two guys with some food In the middle of it If you can't eat the guys

Why are you guys suddenly having this problem We were talking about a human bread sandwich Or it's a man salad You don't If we're gonna talk about About the bread bowl You're gonna assume you're gonna have to eat the bread bowl Otherwise it's just a bowl

I actually don't think anybody said bread Except for you I know you skew we said human bread bowl We did say human bread bowl We did say human Yeah, I said you, I thought it was human bowl. I thought it was human bowl. Bread to be the human bowl.

Bread to be the human bowl. That's what I heard. That's why I said the bowling ball thing. I definitely heard human bread bowl. That's unconscionable. You think anyone's ever, you got in the Panera bread bowl and been like, oh, what the hell? Like, I didn't worry. I thought it was coming in a normal thing.

Oh, yeah. Like the bowls suck here. Yeah. They're all made of fucking bread. You guys don't have any fucking silverware or anything like that? Or cutlery. What's the word? A bread cup.

The silverware is not the word. Silverware. Plateware? Silverware. It's a bowl. Yeah, dish. Dishware. Dishware.

I called it silverware. Why the hell that I even call it that? It's just a bowl. Cutlery. I don't even, the issue is not even presenting itself to me.

That was a falling dark. There's three more. Yeah. There's three more. We'll take a picture of the darts. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, we'll take a picture of them.

Yeah, we're going to take a photo later. We'll look at it later. Yeah. So what got you? you into making the food. It's such a good question. I'm one of the best. It does.

I was just making food for my friends, and then it became a business. Did you do one of those COVID things where it was, I fucking knew it. Oh my God. Where your house becomes a restaurant. Damn.

You were doing like, you were putting burgers in a police system, right? It was in a bucket. Yeah. Wow. You're lowering it down. Oh, no. And did you get news coverage?

No, dude. There was no QR code. No QR code. I will say, I'm happy about that. I'm happy about that. You just had to... Did you ever wash the buckets? No.

Yeah, I didn't think so. No, no. What kind of bucket was in the big orange one? It was a Harbor Freight bucket. But I got to say, if you were eating stickers on it. So we were cool. If you're eating food out of a bucket that comes out of a guy's window. It's got to be ready to accept whatever's coming to.

It was in a, the food would be wrapped and then placed into a bag and then into a dirty bucket that was left outside. A couple of years out, you can admit it, yeah. Why would you clean the bucket? No, there's no reason to clean the bucket. No, yeah. I wouldn't watch the bucket.

Not even the first time would I wash the bucket. Yeah. I wouldn't even buy a new bucket to do the idea. It wasn't my house and then I'd show up on Saturdays and be like, oh, you guys left a bucket outside. I didn't clean it It's full of rainwater Completely completely

Full of rain water And I'd be like Ah you gotta clean it And then I'd just never clean it Yeah Well that's like ah Tell me Because when I

If I make a steak at home Or like a hamburger at home I smell like beef For like four days We fucked up My friend's apartment That makes so much sense Just grease all over

Like he smoked hamburgers Yeah Because the first like Month and change We were doing it on the stove top and they had like a shitty New York City apartment and the vent was just the microwave oven it goes somewhere and I don't know what it does it goes into the into the roof that place was fucked like it would smell like beef for a week there was like you couldn't even uh you have to get like

ladders to clean the grease that was on the ceiling and you just pieced out and you said yeah well I kind of got this burger shit going on now I mean that's you know that's kind of I feel like that's within... The lease was up in like... Oh, yeah. Six months. Imagine that real estate agent's fucking nightmare. You could get...

You could be a tenant. You could just want to eat 300 burgers a day. Yeah. You know, that's not illegal. It's not illegal to eat fucking 300 burgers a weekend. Completely reasonable thing to do in a department. I was hosting. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. And that's not crazy at all. That doesn't avoid a lease or anything. Like, you can't like, yeah. Take that to tenant court. You're going to get laughed out. Yeah, it's too greasy. Yeah.

Oh, oh. Some neighbors did come. So that was nice. Oh, okay. Yeah. Were they ever mad about the, how do you, how are you mad about hamburgers? Yeah. If they lived in the building was the burger free because they were like, oh, I made your house smell.

You kicked him a couple of patties. Yeah. We, they got taken care of them. Yeah. Wow. That's good. That's an honorable man. Yeah.

Wow. Did you make fries in there, too, though? No. Of course not. I made like fries four times. Yeah. And then you're like, fuck all this. Fries is like too much.

One of the first events we did, we did a 4th of July party in the Hamptons. And it was like five shitheads in a truck. And we just brought everything over there. And we're like, yeah, of course we can do fries, like for sure. And bought like three electric friars off Amazon. Oh, God. Tiny. And there was maybe 200 people there.

Oh. We show up and it's 95 degrees. All of our french fries have melted. So they're just like soggy. and drunk people keep walking over the power cords. And so they're just, like, cutting the power to the friars. And my friend almost cried because a drunk girl was, like, screaming at him, waiting for her fries that she didn't pay for at all.

Just, like, abusing him. And after that, I was like, no. And also, there was, like, a lot of friar grease that we just... Yeah, yeah. We disposed them. You should have got one of them... Remember when Robin Big did the... They made that car that ran on.

french fries i think so you remember that yeah that was fucking awesome and then i thought pulled up in that car i remember as a kid thinking that that was going to be we were gonna i was going to get to the age i am now

and that was going to be the only cards that you see on the road now yeah they decided let's put batteries in the car yeah they haven't done too much they mostly made car play yeah we were so supposed to fly in the car the car has really reached a screeching halt in terms of i can shuffle my music in the car but i can't select I don't want car play. No, I don't want it.

Anytime I see one of those like really fancy cars that has like the full like TV on the shit, I'm always like TVs from five years ago look like fucking garbage to me now. So I'm going to buy this expensive car and then in five years be embarrassed that it's all TVs. Every time I've gotten into someone's car who has car play,

they always spend at least like 15 full minutes trying to get their phone to work with it. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's worked for two years. And now it's suddenly. stop. Yeah. Everybody's having a moment of

critical failure the failure the second you get in the car. Nothing has been changed. It's kind of cool because you have like an excuse to never let someone else have the ox.

That's true. It would take hours. You'd have to basically buy the cars. We're already driving like I you know, I can't pull over right now in the freeway. Yeah.

When we were driving back to New York from fucking Toronto. Yeah. Joe. Fucker. Fucking, he was sitting in the damn parking lot for like

45 minutes because car play wouldn't work. I wanted to kill him but now it's the five weeks of friendship and I would never do that. We would never say anything bad about a friend on the five weeks of friendship. No. We would never complain about that. But fuck Joe. Because he's not a friend. He's a fucking year. Yeah, what? We're on episode

9 out of 10. Oh, Joe? I want who. Joe's really kind of getting there. You're wondering. Is he on friendship? Fuck no. No, man. We stick him on Joe box and then if somebody cancels. He's got his own spinoff show. If one of us can't be here, maybe, but again, it's not a friend.

The idea that I, no, it's a fully purely business. He feels amazing every time he gets to be on camera. The idea that I had originally was we were going to have like him sitting like a chair like in the corner and just in case like nobody showed up. For every single one. It's like if I have to go to the bathroom right now. Yeah, exactly. Joe subs in the 10 minutes, 15 minutes, the Andy Richter for the five weeks of me. Yeah, yeah, just kind of contribute nothing.

Sit there, just look fat and ugly, get made fun of. I love Andy Richter. Yeah, me too, man. I grew up on that little curmudgeon, you know? Yeah. That was the best part about 60 minutes. Or no, I'm thinking of Andy Rooney. Yeah.

Andy Richter is the chair of Andy Rooney. We should have gotten on Andy Rooney. Not even his family likes that. No, man. Andy Richter gets a, I mean, I don't know that it's that warranted. He's, but he does get a lot of him. Yeah. We should get an Andy Rooney, though.

We should just get like a guy that we cut to that's like an old man that just tell. tells us, like, what he's ranting about. That is good. We just have, like, a segment. Could also be Joe Gleason. Yeah, yeah, he would be, well, I don't know. Joe doesn't necessarily...

Joe's an investigative reports. A curmudgeon. As much as he just, every position that any of us have about anything, about, like, if a movie is good or bad, he just takes the opposing side. He's the devil's advocate. And he does that for two hours, and then at the end, he'll be like, I actually don't care. Yeah. Oh, no.

Yeah, if you prove him wrong, if you look something up, he's like immediately like, it doesn't really matter. But he's the ultimate Googler. Yeah. That's right. Fuck Joe. Yeah. Keep it going, man. He's too fucking tall and shit, man.

He's a shit. No, but it would be cool to have an old man like that. I'm still thinking about the old man in general. Yeah. I don't know any real old people. We don't know any curmudgins. You kind of look like one. A little bit, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. People think I'm very mean. People think you're mean? Yeah. Or a little rude, a little brash. Brash. People don't like me at all. I wouldn't call you brash.

Oh, no. People look at you and think, see, that wasn't even a dartfall. Somebody mimics the dart. There's three darts on the wall right now. There's still worth it. Red team wins. People think you might be brash.

Sure. But then they get to meet you. No, no, I've heard. I've heard people have been like, yeah, he's an asshole. Really? You know, I feel like that's kind of a common thing with chefs for some reason. I have a friend who works in a nice restaurant, and he says that everybody who works there, the way that he describes it is like Stanford Prison Experiment every single time that he's at work.

It just seems like the people who work in these kitchens are kind of violent psychopaths. Yeah, completely. Entirely depends on the place. But those people still exist. And there's a lot of people who are still like 2013 vice munchies. Yes, dude. It's the, it's munchies.

Those guys, those guys are still psychopaths. What is that shit about? Like total hardos, raw denim. Yeah. They love the fact that they are spending 18 hours a day. Yeah. Sweating. Just with their brothers.

How do you stand for 18 hours a day and you're still fucking fat? Yeah. Why are they all fat? Because they're all nibbling. They're nibbling and bing. and binge drinking. The tasting and the drinking, I see. Wow, that makes more sense.

To get fat off of... They're like... You got to do a lot. They're making a sauce that's either like 75% oil or butter. Yeah, cream. Yeah. Tasting it 40 times. Family meal every day.

And sprinkling the little bit of salt. Just you get another one. Yeah. Every time they do family meal, it's like, oh yeah, I made us all gigantic burgers. Yeah. I made us the big. biggest meal in the world. Yeah, the family meal

that I hear that people have it never sounds as good as the food that the restaurant shows. Of course not, because you have to make it. Someone has to make it and they're tired. Yeah, but, you know, they have to make the other food too, so they might as well make double. Yeah, but they're getting paid for that.

That one actually kind of scared me. That one did scare me a little bit. I felt kind of a tinge. Some people are really good at making family meal and some people like don't give a fuck. Like really, you can tell and they just kind of make burnt hot dogs that they've thrown in the

oven and some toasted buns and they're like this is it yeah but there's some people who are very talented and really care about uh what they feed their their brothers is that the feeling that people in in like nice kitchens have is that they're in the trench i've never really worked in a nice kitchen like that but one over cent like i know these guys they just love being together and they go to the bars and drink and complain after and then wake up four hours later and bike to work. And do they have sex with each other? Sometimes.

Depends, depends. That's interesting. Yeah. It seems cool. It does seem kind of the world that you tell me about it. It seems pretty cool to be as like a crazy chef. Also, I don't know why, but anytime that, to me, there's a, there's not really, because I only ever cook with instructions.

Yeah. So when I hear that somebody's an amazing chef, I'm a little bit like, so they, You're a dog. You do whatever it tells you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like,

you know, no, no. No, I'm taking these people is like, okay, so what? You followed a recipe? Yeah. That's not that cool. You're really good at obeying. They are kind of like dogs. They are dogs to their masters.

To their boss. And they just do whatever they want to the dogs. To the boss. I knew it. It's really crazy. I'm exposing the entire restaurant. You do look like a chef, though. I knew this was coming.

You do look like a chef. I know. You have the Casio watch. You have the tattoos. Is this a chef thing? I stole this from Mike D. On you? Yeah.

I still, oh, fuck you. You got the cookout. You got the ironic cookout hat. Ironic. To you, it's not. To you, it's not. To you, it's not.

Ironic. Ironic, God, damn. I love cookout. Cookout. I've eaten it more than any other restaurant. It's probably not even close. It's the best place ever. Do you think that that is, though, if you had a restaurant, would it be more dribbling and bubbles?

It'd be more cookout. Yeah. Window. Yeah. Walk up to that window. Window. If you see a restaurant with a window, that's a pretty... I would prefer a restaurant with no windows at all and no doors.

Shipping container. There's nothing. It isn't even there. Sounds like you don't even really want to eat the restaurant if you're describing it like this. Well, but just be cool if something like that, it could even prove that food can exist where nothing is. That's a really good point. It's a scientific theory I worked on. Yeah, really is it?

Even in the absence of all. In a vacuum. That's one of the titles. That's a good. Again, another great restaurant idea. Yeah. Look at us. We've stumbled upon an even better one.

Food where nothing can exist. Food where there's nothing at all. Nothing can't exist. Food from the place that never was. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. And it's Lord of the Rings themed.

Yeah. Wow. The place that never was. It's limpest bread. That one made a loud. Is that a double? One last. No, no.

Oh, God. It really sounded like it was a double drop. So there's basically, there's suction. cup darts attached to the window that are falling one by one for everybody who, you know, wasn't here before we recorded. Which for some reason, it's a little bit like disillusioning. Like, I feel

like they... I thought they'd stay up a lot longer. They should stay up for a long time. They must not be very... I think the room is getting warmer. I think they're fucking crap. Yeah, they're not high quality suction. My mom or my grandma, they were stocking stuffers. This was one of those things

were fun. They're fun. Yeah, they're really fun. You were like, thank you so much. Yeah, I'm really And then you give them a Patrick or something? I just brought them here. I didn't even bring them here. My wife just tried to throw them away. So she put them in a bag that I accidentally took here, thinking that it was stuff that needed to come to the office. She tricked you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then we started to enjoy. But then now they become, I would say, one of the 15 greatest items at the office. Yeah. You, I mean, you picked up the other, I think you picked up item maybe number 10, I would say. Number 10? Number 10 is. That's crazy.

Why, do you think they're higher? they're way higher In terms of use This is by far the most used The Wolverine clause I would literally say number one These are number one It looks real one

Yeah, it looks like a happy For real Yeah number one I think these or the darts are number one Yeah Really Well I was gonna say the darts are number one I mean I would say maybe equipment

Well if we're including that You say I'm not in purely equipment Or the very least stuff to occupy yourself Stuff that people show up And then they're like this place is cool. The door is a cool.

The helmet is pretty cool. The helmet's cool. But it doesn't get any use. Why not? These things are mysteries. Hey, man. I'm not going to stop you. We've put these things around as to study human behavior.

See, there's a bell right there that nobody uses. There's the bell. And then you didn't even see it. Look right behind you. Yeah. Have you noticed this? Yeah. Yeah, this is quite heavy.

Yeah. This is really like. Ridgewood Thrift. How much you spent on this? I don't remember. Too much? Probably. I think I remember it being pretty cheap.

It was cheap for what it is. It was a prop for a show. Yeah. And now you're putting the helmet on. With the helmet on. I mean, I honestly am amazed that nobody's done this. Yeah. I was thinking of doing it,

but I just don't want it was like, I had to wear this for it. Yeah, see, instantly. Oh, no. It's going back on it. I wore this and I fucking hated it. I had to wear this in a home planet video that I was cut out of. It sounds like we're interviewing in night.

So you have now gone from chef tonight. And so now I have a whole slew of new questions. What is the king like? Those aren't going to, I don't think you're going to hear anything. They really do not work. I've tried it. Yeah, you can pull. Yeah, that's for lifting the mask.

Lifting the visor. The visor, sorry. I called it a mask. So what's that. cod piece all about? It's a... The cod piece. I can't see you.

Yeah. Something I'll tell you about this, too, is when I was wearing it, when you lift the visor up, which I think right now it's like locked here. Oh, it's unlocked on one side. Here. Oh, now it's completely off, in fact. This is going to actually fall off, maybe. Yeah.

I don't want to scratch you and hurt you, but it's going to fall off and probably hurt your face. But if you put it up, you have to be careful because it clangs down and it makes literally the loudest noise you will ever hear in your entire life

inside of it. Everything is so loud in there. I want to fix this for you because I don't want you to become damaged. Yeah. I did a show with Pierce and Will Duncan, I had to wear this, but I couldn't wear the front piece,

the visor. And I had to be, like, I had to like listen to the lines that they were saying in the show while the two things on the side were clanging on my ears. Yeah, you can wear that outside. No one's going to give you trouble with it? I mean, I wouldn't.

Yeah. I was trying to reattach it. And then I was like, you know, I'd probably have to put my fingers through the eye slit to get. Yeah, it didn't look comfortable. Because the two things, like the two like clamps on the side, like if you like move your head even a little bit, you hear is, doong, don't. Yeah, it's crazy

loud. Yeah. It's like a real ass helmet, though. I thought it was a cheap piece of John. When we first got it, I'll tell you this, too, it was completely covered in some type of grease or oil. Yeah. It stops it from rusting, so you put it on your tire head gets covered in, in grease. Is this screws in this chair?

What chair did we give him? We didn't give him this. There's exposed. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Have we ever talked about this? I don't think we've ever talked about that. There's a chair. This is the chair that everybody's been sitting in.

This chair, no one has complained about it. You're the first person who's noticed. We have a chair in the office that is the poker that has two screws that come up from the back. I think we put the chair together

wrong. I used the wrong screws in the wrong place and I never bothered to fix it and they penetrated through the they go up into your butt. It's a bad chair all around. And this is the one you use for gas. Yes.

There's plenty of other There is other chairs. I don't know why that one is even here. You didn't want to mark this one. I, because you've never sat in the book. I've said, we've said, plenty of time. Yeah. I would say, to me, it's become such a, it's, I think of it like every other chair

because I'm just so used to the feeling of having two screws, punching my butt cheeks. But for other people, I understand that it would be a shock. For me, it's not a problem personally. Yeah. But you get used to it. More, yeah. I was feeling it immediately. Yeah.

was kind of like kind of working up the courage to say something. It's not like a prank that we pull out people. I wonder how many people it could have been. What we've done?

This is episode nine. A really low level prank. This is episode nine. I wonder how many people have sat on it and have been like, I'm feeling something on my book. See,

that's why everyone thinks I'm brash because I'm not polite enough. Right. You should just swallow the chair screw attack. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that that is kind of brash of you.

Speak my mind. It did make me. As soon as you said, what's wrong with this chair, it did make me like you less. I was like, this guy doesn't know when to just keep it to himself because we gave him a pain to torture chair. But you're living. Yeah. You're going to live through that. Living well.

I got my foot stuck on the rug. Oh, that's perfect. Nothing was happened. And knocked over his bottle. So what else is going on, man? Yeah. What's going on? You've got like a pop-up right now at, uh, what's going to?

You've got, like, a pop-up right now at, what's that place called? That was last week. Last week, that's done. Okay. But I'm doing burgers for a birthday tomorrow, which is going to be very nice. That is nice. Yeah. Bert, you should call them birthgars.

Births. Yeah. Shai's birthgars, or they could do a birthday. Or they could call it a burgday. Yeah. Birthgurs is kind of more of a ring to it. Yeah. It doesn't really make a lot of sense.

Yeah, that would be if it's National Burger Day. What's the strangest place? place you ever cooked burgers at that you're allowed to talk about. Bohemian Grove. Yeah, I figured. Yeah, they made me wear a mask.

I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone. And I don't know what the meat was. It was a shitty backyard. It was awesome. It was beautiful. Celebration of love. All your friends' games. Hamburgers and stuff.

Yeah. But they never had you cooking it like, it was like a crypto a crypto loft sick nice where was that digital burgers too

it was in green point yeah it was fully digital burgers there was like another loft in chinatown where they like demanded that I cook inside and we set up a really crazy vent system that was just four different fans just blowing air at me

because there was a lot of old like really antique speakers they couldn't damage and so I was constantly being blown but with air with the open window behind me and it was awful

near death you ever come close to being blown out the window yeah too big for that respect yeah

respect yeah you should they should ask you to do burgers at like did they ask you to do the inauguration

I would have you would yeah yeah yeah of course how could you say does he loves burgers

does anyone ever hire you to just do one burger I say I don't want to I don't want have a whole thing. I'm on my tight budget. I'm really just honestly hungry. I wish. People have asked me for like 20 people, like 25 people. And I gave them such an outstandingly

evil number. I was like, yeah, $1,500. Like I don't know what they know to tell you. Like if I, you know, like, yeah, this is worth like 150 bucks maybe, but I'm not doing it for that. Yeah. I've seen the setup, man. You got to bring with the whole. It's so much. I'm going to talk to you and your friends. Yeah, there's a little bit of a bartender element to it too. They're like, oh, man, we're such huge fans. Like, kind of like this.

Uh-huh. But yeah, just like, hey, man, like, thanks for having me. Do you have burger groupies? Yeah. I can fucking knew it. But they're merch and stuff. Yeah, I never said burger.

Yeah, yeah. I never said burger, hot, girl groupies. Bird girls. Burg girls. They're guys. And sometimes I get harassed on the street like late at night like kind of jump scared people saying i like your food man yeah pretty much i want to eat your food tomorrow yeah guys at bars will like slowly like come up to me like after

looking at me for a bunch be like i've had your burger i think that that would be the scariest thing for someone to say to you with no context like if somebody if there was a guy who looked like you and people were mistaking him for you and going up to this guy and saying hey man i like your food yeah i've had your burger let me know where you're making food next yeah i'm gonna be there man that's kind of bar for bar like what these interactions are like yeah like no joke

but I think if I if somebody said that to me it would burn into my psyche forever yeah I'd be wondering and I also probably would never put it together that there's a chef somewhere that looks like me

that that could mean anything to anybody I would always just assume that he would know exactly who he was talking to and that he saw me I really love the food you make man

I really love it I love your burger. Thank you, dude. Your burger is so good. Yeah, that would not feel good. You're not far off. That's kind of any hour of the day.

I'm going to love it. That sounds horrible. I'll be on the subway sometimes. Like, the subway ones are like fine. Yeah. Because it's, people are like sober and just like being normal.

Yeah. But like a late night one and I'm just like in a corner. Like just being punished. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to say assaulted. Do guys ever, do a guy's ever want to.

like talk burgers with you yeah that's what do you do do you want to ask me right now 7515 what's your favorite burger in New York City that's horrible

man just constantly they're asking you about like so you go 8020 it's not even that deep what are you going to do turkey do like a redook tavern and I go yeah it's pretty good you ever heard of smash burgers

dude you got to try putting mustard on the burger trust you got to cook it in mustard Have you ever been to George Motz's place and had a fried onion burger? That guy, what, do we fucking hate that guy? I'm kind of over him. The mutton chops are a little.

The chops. And also, I don't like the, the, he's like, he was like a burger journalist. He likes it too. And he's been rewarded. He likes the camera too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He really likes the camera. He's probably got really crazy groupies.

Oh my God. I can't imagine being him. Yeah. Does he work at the store? He does sometimes. Sometimes. He's a busy guy, though. Yeah, that would imagine. He's got to film a new historical burger video.

With Action Bronson. Yeah. Talking about an old burger. The burger keeps getting older, too. When you first, they first started talking about the history of the burger, it was like, I was invented in this place in America. And now they're like, it was invented in Peru. He's rewriting history.

Yeah. He's run out of content. They've done every burger. There's not that much to say about hamburgers. Yeah. We found an ancient Sumerian burger that we're going to. Covered a burger that is not previously known to be for burgers. We uncovered a burger for the oldest.

Yeah, we thought the oldest burger is actually has just been moved back 10,000 years. Yeah, discovered a burger 10,000 years older than the previously. Yeah, and it had feathers. Fucking evolutionists. Dude. Disgusting me. Yeah, it was a damn chicken burger from Canada. No, I wouldn't eat a chicken burger.

Why do they not make a chicken burger? They do. But not like a British bullshit. That I hate. I hate that. Oh, my. It's a chicken sandwich. People get so, people get so, like,

I'm fucking annoying about it, too, when you say that it's stupid. When they go to the chippy, when they go to the chippy and a chicken burger is not made of ham and a cheeseburger is not made of cheese. Yeah. And if it's going to be a burger, it needs to be all minced up.

Yeah. It's the meat. Exactly. Burger is brown. The chicken burger is minced up. I thought it was, like, a fucking just. It's minced. But it's also breaded and fried.

Yeah, I believe so. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm talking about cook it like a normal fucking chicken hamburger. Yeah, they're calling like fried chicken sandwiches, chicken burgers. Yeah, it's gross. Yeah, it's not right to call. Mm-hmm. You can't call it that.

You ever go turkey? Never. Never. Never. Never. Never get that butterball. How many times a year do you eat a turkey burger? A turkey burger, dude?

I am going to say something really revealing. I'm a guy who always has a, like, giant arm-length sleeve of turkey burgers that are just completely frozen together sitting in my freezer from Costco one year ago yeah and I would

say once every three months I will make one and they're always horrible yeah I'm using a knife to separate

the burgers from each other guess I'm making a double tonight yeah with paper in the middle yeah

you gotta eat the paper bro I don't know why I even buy the paper is like cheese for turkey remember that

fucking Hardy's shit where they were like and you can eat the paper I never I'm not from No, I don't remember that.

Yeah. That's a southern thing. All right, whatever. The wrapping. They were like, there's cheese, there's commercials where they, and they got those sexy girls. Of course.

And they were eating the cheese off of the paper. And then I started doing that. And then I would get everyone in my family's paper and I'd eat at the cheese off it. Oh. You had to wait for a commercial to tell you it was okay. I just never. Give me your paper.

I mean, You just hand it back to me. Everyone, but for the first few times, for the first few times, for the first of you guys aren't going to eat your cheese off your paper. You were confident enough to ask for the paper. You didn't wait for everyone to be done

and then just got a scaven. I'm pretty comfortable around my family. I told him I would like to eat the pay. I saw this on a commercial. I would like to eat the cheese off of the paper. Presenting it to like, did you know you can eat the cheese off the paper? I saw it.

They said that at the restaurant. Do you want my paper? You were maybe the only person affected by this commercial. Yeah. I guess I was. I've actually brought this up to a couple different groups of people and nobody remembers this commercial.

I think it was just beam directly. That's okay, you know, or maybe it was pretty unsuccessful. You're also talking to people who, like, didn't have, like, that's a regional chain. Hardee's? I had a Carl's Jr. I don't know.

New England, we don't have Carl's Jr. I guess I haven't seen a Hardee's here. Yeah. No, there's no. Yeah. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Hardies is like the south

and then Carl's Jr. is the West Coast. I would put Hardies maybe at the VIII. very bottom of the burger Yeah, I think I had a Carl's Jr. You did. You're on tour and I was amazed at how, like, bad it was. Yeah, it's pretty bad. They got good breakfast. I remember we got, we went, was that the one

we went through the drive-thru and you just got so pissed off? Yeah. And we're just like, man, we're just... He was really confused because the menu was big. I don't remember what it was. No, I think you, you like got the burger and then the burger itself pissed you off really bad. Yeah. I'm really trying to remember the details.

But I just remember me and Caleb was being like, man, we're just going through a burger. drive through. I don't remember why I was so mad. It's probably a great. I had, I had some gripe that is like

a guy that would come up to you type thing. Yeah, it was something like that. It was like, I can't believe they put this on this. Maybe it was, I feel like you got some kind of, uh, oh, the

thing, the thing that you guys were mad about specifically was that I ordered it at like 11 in the morning. Oh yeah. We, that's what it was. We went through. We got breakfast sandwiches and you got some crazy bread.

And then you're like, this fucking burger. Yeah. That's from yesterday, probably. Yeah. That's probably my fault completely. I don't think it's too crazy to order a burger at 11. No, it's not crazy to do that. It's a fast food restaurant.

Yeah. That's right when they're starting to make the burgers. You would think the burger would be the best thing. Yeah. And the breakfast would be garbage. But the breakfast is all soft and soggy. And didn't hamburger meat used to be eaten as breakfast. Is that not correct in the olden times?

Can we turn you in sort of our? George Mose. Yeah. Where sort of we bring you on to do burger videos and maybe. Yeah, of course. You could invent horrible new burgers. You just like make all the stuff that we've come up with on the show. I think it'd be great if I like could go into your fridges and make a new type of slot.

Oh, my fridge would be. I mean, I am a huge. I have in my, my, my fridge and freezer right now, I think I have a half a pineapple and. and in which area in the fridge or the freezer in the fridge and then I think I have 10 cauliflower crust

frozen pizzas from Costco and a big bag of chicken nuggets you're making me so fucking hungry I haven't eaten yet but that's not I'm hearing about food is starting to take a toll how much are you saving

that's marginal about money off I'm eating those I'm eating those what are you putting on your pizza The pizza, it's just the pizza, the pizza, the pizza's already made. It's like a frozen pizza. It's a supreme style frozen pizza. So it's got pepperoni and it's got veggies on it. I thought it was a plain crust. Oh, fuck, no. I think I tried. You're making a chicken nugget pizza. That would be good though. You have to admit that would be good and I invented that actually not you. Yeah. I, I, uh, but you're going to make it later when you come back. I'm not that good at cooking. I've come to realize. Yeah. Yeah, I think, I feel like I thought I was good at cooking for a long time, but I think I actually am trash at it. That's where Kinsche at it. That's where, Lopes is a real lifesaver that motherfucker

have you been watching his recent videos like post-divorce where he's all sad and weird and he's skinny yeah you got a divorce

I have not kept because I remember back in the day he lives on a house boat he lives on a house no what swear to God you get like

it's kind of rocking back in the day it was so clear it's like make sure you you hold all the vegetables in place on the cutting board

and they can roll up very easily he's got knives through all the tomatoes they're going in a good he watches his podcast

and he's going to come from me for bringing this out back of the day when he was first like when I first was aware of him. Dude because all of his videos were like like POV like meatloaf for one

and he would have like eight beers that would be a huge part of the video. It would be late night. Late night single daughter and his wife were asleep. Yeah and he's just drunk as fuck with a GoPro. DMing his groupies. Yeah.

Cooking food. Allegedly. He was DMing. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, And didn't he take his wife's maiden name? Yeah, that's why he's got, like, six names. That's brutal. That's a divorce after you take her name.

And he kept it. Jay Kenji Lopez alt, and then you keep your wife's name that you took. Yeah. That's pretty, that's tough. I think he's Jay Kenji Alt. Oh, he dropped Lopez. And then he put the Lopez before the alt,

which is a weird place. He let the maiden name go first. I think so. All right. Well, that's. It was definitely a strong choice. Yeah. But do you like these YouTube food guys?

I used to like it. You like Adam Ragusea? I don't. I don't. I don't like Ragusea. I don't like Regucia. Who's your guys? He's like a Reddit.

He's like a Reducia thing. One of the funniest videos I've ever seen is him when he's talking about how he, when he needs to like lose weight, when he notices he's like a little overweight, he will cook at the beginning of the week. And his whole thing, like so many people trust this guy about food. and stuff and like all this food shit. He will make on Monday or Sunday a giant pot of

frozen tilapia fillets and cauliflower rice and he will eat it for five days straight and he won't put it on a plate and he just eats it and he says all this with the same tone. He just throws the pot in the French. Yeah. And he says all this with the same tone. And he's got a wife and kids. He has a wife and kids in a beautiful

life, I'm sure. And he's eating fish and cauliflower cold out of a pot five days old. Oh my God. he's awesome that is pretty cool that is cool but also you can't like food that much

if you're doing that yeah that makes me think yeah that makes you don't like food if you're eating that you're losing some trust points with me there that's you know who the worst one is

is Mr. Joshua Weissman of course that's the worst guy Joshua Whitesman the mustache ginger guy that guy too oh I forgot it Ethan Chablowski

I can't forget Ethan Chibboski fucking guy with the thing. All they do, even Jablowski just launderes Kenji Lopez all recipes and Adam Rugguzzi recipes and he goes, this is from this is from our boy Kenji

and just does the recipe. It's incredible that he's got away with us. Yeah, this guy. I mean, look at that, look at that face. Oh my God, man. Good Lord. Oh, my God. I just think that most people who have their own YouTube channel

shouldn't have face. Yeah. Yeah. It should at least be a picture. It should be a robo. Yeah. There's one, there's one Asian guy, or at least I know, I think he's Asian. Okay. He's anonymous. I know that guy. And, like, fucks up his meals all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen that guy. Yeah. It's really crazy. He's really bad at stuff. I don't know. I never remember. He's not bad. He's just lazy. Like, he'll, like, find this recipe and be like, so I don't have tomato sauce. So I'm just going to use, like, a prune juice. and then like make the recipe and be like this was bad I've seen a lot of these videos too sometimes he'll do something like that he'll substitute like a pound of ground lamb with an onion and then at the end

he's like that is a 10 out of 10 that's the best thing I've ever had it's really the YouTube food scene is getting pretty dark but I can see you pivoting into there and basically filling a huge gap I don't think I want to be I don't want to be a recipe guy

I'm desperate to be I want to be a travel host Oh I want to be amazing at that I want to be a travel host I don't think those jobs exist anymore Yeah well now we don't have a guy Fury on YouTube It's YouTube streamer guy

Yeah but there's no guy Fierries There's no big personalities It's just get ready with me on my way to go to Guy's still working Yeah that's true Dude he's just on Rogan Really? Yeah I think he's a tough

I got to listen to that later Guy Fierre is pretty He I think at this point he's pretty unimpeachable I think he's like we've come around to like he's like

oh this hate is un warranted yeah the hate was just that he his name was he had a fucking funny man yeah but that's his job he can't be very entertaining oh yeah this is Julio's favorite guy Mark Wayne

that guy scares me yeah he is terrified he is a new travel and eating guy yeah he's a new travel and eating guy is just the guy that you and Cameron watch like him eat like Squid Ink like is it

Is this the guy making, like, the pigeon food or whatever? No. No. That's a different guy. They like watching videos of torturing bugs and then we're doing them. We honestly, we did, we fully overdosed on it. We saw the most horrific videos I've ever seen in my life. Which one was that?

I think one of the last, we just like, far away countries. Yeah, we're just watching like the craziest. And I think a lot of them are just like people on YouTube just trying to get views and be like, this is like a food from this country. And they're just like making something nasty for no reason. I've seen years ago I saw like Coca-Cola rat Yeah

We saw There was one Cambodian or Vietnamese And they're like Well, catch these like They have these like massive rat Traps that are like

PVC pipes That are just like Filled with And then they'll take them off And like Kind of rip them like a raccoon or something Yeah That's what we were

And then just pour Coca-Cola and ginger and chili We saw a rat one Where they had a bunch of rats And they stuffed them Inside a stock of bamboo That we saw the Okay

ones that were really that like made us stop or the ones where there were lizards where they were live lizards and they were killing them by holding them by the tail and slamming them on the table. There was one where they were making snakes and they killed the snakes by hanging them in nuisance. Just

kill your ops in the we cannot be watching this anymore. There was bat soup. We watched bats. Bat soup was like Comodo dragon chopped up. Like a massive pot of Nobody's eating this. Nobody's eating this shit.

The ones that stick in my head were the bat soup and then also they did. There was one that was snake and crow hot pot and they took the head of a crow and the head of a snake and put them like on top.

It was fucking crazy. This is like, do you guys remember? And it was literally filmed in like a mad scientist lab. Do you remember the videos that was like like a guy? The last one.

Last one. Oh well. Well, it's over. That's yeah. That there was the guy who would like, uh,

he would like build like, like a crazy apartment out of dirt somewhere in the jungle and then it came out that it was they were like using like bobcats

and stuff no no no no no this was a different guy I don't think to fame primitive technology yeah primitive technology this was a different this was a different like

South Asian guy I don't know exactly who it was but it was one it was a channel that makes that kind of thing but I think oh they built a pool or something

yeah built a massive pool and it was like just so perfect but you could see like the bobcat and like the side of the frame and stuff

but I think that this is a similar situation with these eating giant it did actually was one of the big factors why it made me stop as I was like oh I literally think people are making videos to make everyone comment racist stuff I think that's what it is I think it's like those Instagram reels you get

where it's like a white guy going to India and eating the street food and going like this is disgusting you know those well I don't know those because I maybe you have been suggested those because you watch a lot of them yeah well no I stop

those are not connected I get a lot of those because I watched one of them. I've seen videos where the guys are eating the food. They're eating the lizards. They're eating the isopods. Yeah, they're kind of, they're enjoying that. The isopod ones, they don't even have any meat on them.

They're just like enough chili and oil where it's like not a big. We want, they like, they did like, isopod like noodles or something. Like they had like, but it's they have like a good amount of meat in them. It's just all like fucking, I mean, there's all legs. So it's hard to get out. Well, if it tastes good, I'll fucking eat it. There was one that I watched that.

I feel like Julio watched this with me a while. while ago where they had like this beautiful big fish that had like a horn like like thing on it and I have no idea what kind of fish it was and the guy was like I just spent $10,000 to and I'm going to eat this fucking fish and then he he butcher's this yeah and he like butchers this animal and he specifically cuts off the like horn thing and then he eats he takes a bite of like the different dishes he's made and he said they all were terrible. I was like, why would you eat, why did this fish need to die for this? And he, like, made a soup out of the horn thing.

Dude, it's so crazy. There's like a virality, like, libido soup. Yes, and all of the meat, also all the meat was like bright blue. It looked horrible. There is literally an insane pipeline on YouTube that you get, take it. Like, we've got to this stuff because we literally started out watching videos of, like, Korean corn dogs. Yeah. And it just, like, literally over the span of months.

eventually became like lizard torture videos. Oh, yeah. This is loach soup. Oh, I see this one. So this is a soup in Korea that's supposed to give you energy. And what they do is they put all the loaches in into this big toilet. And then they salt them and it causes great pain to the fishes and they all jump around. And then they do a big crank and they grind them into gray sludge out of this bowl.

And then they eat it. And it gives you, it gives you energy. Street food? It's like monster energy. I don't know where it's probably really expensive and good. yeah it look all the stuff looks good yeah most of it once you cross the line into the the evil ones yeah sure but this a lot of this

hangings are like a surprise by a new that okay yeah that's what exactly that's right street breakfast sandwich that they're like really good at oh the folded egg yeah yeah they do they do a bunch of the like street food ones with with chicken they'll do a thing where they put the chicken in like a like flat cage to like turn it on on a on a rotisserie but it's so funny. They just like fully flattened chicken

into a two-dimensional square and like lock it into a cage and then put it on this big machine that goes Yeah, and it's so crazy. But it looks good as fuck. They're just eating. Oh, hot rocks. Yep, there's another classic

This is this is a gorilla fat. This is brazed bear paw. Jesus. Oh my god. Did we see the clap? No, that's no. You don't want to see this. That one is particularly horrible. You're going to watch that one.

That one was the gateway. That was literally, this is the gateway one where we went. We were watching stuff that was kind of weird, but, like, you know, people actually eat it. And then we watched this and it started recommending us all the, like, crazy shit after this. They do eat this one. Yeah. They got to eat it. You got to eat it.

They take all the hair off. They take the hair off. They, like, cut the, like, pad off. But they leave, they leave the claws on so you can see that it's a fun. You got to see it. They present it like a, like it's a bear skin rug or something. does that one have a picture of the bear in it or no like in it yeah in the video no i don't think so

it's dead by the time you get to they don't have like i think it just starts with the foot yeah okay if i remember it's been a while how much is a bear a bear's paw oh yeah it's in tokyan bear paw wow well speaking of speaking of food okay and bear yeah and stuff yeah it is to get to this list it's the five weeks Guys, it's the final week of the five weeks of friendship. Week five, day one. And today's list is the 10 love versus arranged marriage memes that will help you in taking a decision.

And the first thing here is a piece of food. And this is the difference between arranged marriage roti and love marriage roti. Which one are you picking? That left one looks really good. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you.

I completely agree. The one on the right. If you were served, the one on the right, would you eat it? Of course. It looks like a tortilla, though. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Let's be honest. The one on the right looks burnt.

Yeah, it looks pretty burnt, but I don't know. I think I'd just eat both of them. I'd probably, you know what I would do? I would cut the one on the left, put the one on the right inside of it. Whoa, that's kind of interesting. I'm not sure. I think they would just make that worse. Because I guess what they're saying by this is I think the love marriage roti,

she's like too busy kissing you and loving you and paying attention to you. And she's neglecting the roti on the. on the stove top and your household is crumbling as you're having evil sex right I guess on the arranged marriage

she's focused on the kitchen she's focused on the kids but if it's arranged that means she might have been taught to like you know like to cook and stuff yeah you know what I mean like

by who it's like you know it's like oh you're like we're going to marry you off so you're gonna make sure that you're really good really good at curry I wouldn't complain though

you wouldn't complain about No, I would eat either of them. I'd eat them both, one after the other time. I'd definitely eat them both. I like fucking bread. I've not eaten the love marriage roti, but I've definitely eaten the love marriage spaghetti. And it's not that.

It's pretty bad. All right, let's see the next thing on the list. Throw me to the wolves. Welcome. Welcome to the five weeks of friendship. You're on the five weeks of friendship, shy. That's right. Right. This is a celebration of all of our friends and that we've used that list as a bait and switch.

Yes, for the whole. Probably five times. You thought there was going to be 10 memes about love versus arranged marriage. They are, but we aren't using them. I was really interested. Yeah? Well, you're going to be interested in this friendship freestyle. Hit it.

I'm not freestyle. No, no. The freestyle's been done for you. Good. Shy got a grill and he works all day. Flipping big. burgers in an amazing way people line up from across the street saying what's that smell that's a real good treat he smiles wide with the shiny ass teeth what's in the meat that's underneath not just cow now he's changing the game a little bit of lizard with a human name one time late I looked inside saw a tiny little lizard with big round eyes it was rango from that movie on the grill he looked right through me he said help but shy said no flipped him twice gave him Catch up and op.

Someone ate Rango straight from Shai's grill with an extra cheese and then a lactate pill. Now I'm just playing. I don't mean a word of that. When I see Shai, he's wearing the coolest hat. Nope. I'm fucking playing again. I almost didn't wear a hat today. He asked us as a burger and Shai said maybe what happened next was actually fucking crazy.

I saw Shai take out a human size baby. Put it on the grill and smothered it with gravy. Don't eat at Shai's eat at Patrick Burger. Amazing atmosphere and friendly serves. We have the only ultimate burger. Also, we have hot derger. That's hot dogs. Shaped like a burger.

Whoa. Can you send this? Yeah, I can send you that. I would love to make this by ring to me. Yeah. Like a voicemail message? That would be really, a ringback tone. Yeah, that would be really good.

I think that was one of the best freestyles yet. I think that was. And I like the hot burger. The hot durger. You had to go out of selling hot durgers. You should sell hot durgers. I've done. A couple of times.

We might sell hot duggers. Hot durgers. This weekend, actually. We're talking about it. I love hot durgers. Oh, my God. That sounds so good right now. But shy, the freestyle is but one part of a three-headed beast.

Simply a third. I don't deserve it. You do deserve this because you're our friend and all. Our friends deserve all the phrase in the world. So for every friendship friend, I've been giving a toast. So if everyone would, you know, raise whatever you have, I mean, you could raise the claws or you could raise the Or you can raise the bubbles. So, guys, a toast is a delicious food that Shai probably could make very well.

Do you make a good toast? Off to a great start. One of my favorite foods. Shai's known for his time. And one of Shai's specialties. Also, a delicacy, some would consider it. I would consider it. As well as a burger.

Thank you so much. Wow. Thank you so much. He had the best freestyle ever heard. And on the other hand, you know, probably the worst. It's a good one. I kind of played with the format. I did like that. It was very...

Because you can't, if you do a bunch of these, you got to mix it up. You got to mix it up like... Oh, yeah. You got to mix it up like a stew. Wow, the toast continues. Yeah. Stewpidly good would be to it. adverb and adjective to describe food

not just any food shy's food wow and don't be shy about trying in this food it really seems like the toast has more of the toast has happened after the toast ended than when the toast was actually well yeah that it's mostly because somebody said it was bad so I kind of wanted to add

on a little while somebody the rest of it was actually really good thank you for having my back of course dude and I didn't just have your back I drew your front please pull up the digitized imititization. I've been getting really into playing with

different mediums and artistic ways. And I've been doing portraits, digital immunization portraits. I am very drawable. You guys think this is some funny shit. Shai is flattered

on that. I think this is incredible. this is a profile picture for sure. Yeah, so I put shy... You got a ringtone and a profile picture out of this. That's crazy. And maybe a tattoo of the word of the toes.

I asked Pat when I was drawing this, I said, should I put him in a burger paradise? And Pat said, yeah, put him in a burger paradise. And I said, what is a burger paradise? And Pat said, put him in a burger paradise. So I had to come up with what one was. How do you like...

An island with burgers? Immediately, when you hear the word burger paradise, you know what that is. A restaurant. McDonald's. Fucking got you. You know, actually I thought about

putting you at McDonald's, but I didn't know if that would come across as insulting. Oh, disrespectful. I thought that that would be disrespectful.

But I think I really captured your essence in this. Yeah. You know, this is wonderful, but a burger paradise would be McDonald's drive-thru

with no one else behind you so you can have as much time as you want to decide what you wanted to eat and the drive-thru lady is like giving you as much time

and not nagging you. Yeah. There could be a McDonald's drive-thru just out of frame. this picture. And you know what? We don't know anything about this island. And I'm going to use my imagination a little bit here. I'm going to maybe, I'm imagining right now that the stump of that tree is just a burger standing up. Yeah, a big ass burger paddy. Yeah. Totally. And there's cheese in the sky. And he's standing on the bun. And he's standing on the bun. Yeah. Whoa. And those are sesame seeds.

Oh, okay. Wow. Wow. Wow. I started a version that was you eating on a giant burger patty, but because of the simplicity of the, of the, it really looked like a Duke, like dukey. And I, I'd love to see that one. I did, had to delete it because you only have one project at a time on pixel art.com. You didn't go premium? No, I'm not paying for the premium. They keep trying to get me. Even though it's because, you know, slowly it's kind of replacing every other. Can't just charge it to the game? No, it's not like that. Steal the credit card. That would actually, I probably should have done that. I mean, it's only, you know, four bucks.

What can be, 80 bucks a month? It's something around that. But I use it enough that I feel like it would be worth it. Think about it, I would be able to do... I mean, think about how much money it makes you. This is like five minutes of time already. Like we're talking about this. Exactly. This has been...

Pro rated. I mean, and for you two, how do you... I just have one more left. So how do you think... Do you feel like I've been trending in the right direction artistically? Yes. Or in the wrong direction. No, you've definitely been improving.

And what do you think of the hands on this one? Yeah, I've noticed. you kind of are still trying to figure those out. Yeah. Thank you for your honesty. You'll get hands at the end. Do you like that maybe... Here's what I'll say too.

Finger guns. He's experimenting. He's standing at an angle. That's not the... Oh, I thought... Yeah, you like the angle thing? Yeah, I think that's kind of is maybe the most new development that we have.

As well as, yeah, holding a prop. I think this is the biggest leap yet. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Well, then I'm happy with it. Yeah, the horizon. You like kind of the feathering on the sun. The feathering is really nice.

I mean, that's well done. I've noticed. I've noticed the feathering on Alex's. Oh, it's bleeding hot. Yeah. I mean, look how white the sand is. Sand going all the way up. Spent a long time picking the skin tone. Spent a really long time. That was the first thing he asked. He asked the Burger Paradise thing after. He said, what skin tone should I do? Well, you know, how long have I been on the island? I would say this is... I'm just first day. Yeah, this is day.

We're just holding your spatula. So this might be like minute one. You might have just gotten stranded from the cruise ship. Yeah. Because I think if I was there, you know, later, I think you'd go darker. I could have gone darker. Yeah, you could have gone... I should have just...

Much darker, actually. Would you have felt like... Would you have felt strange if you didn't know that I was going to make this and I right before asked you for a picture? No. Can you send me a picture of yourself? I would be fine. I'm glad that you said that because I'm...

I'm going to ask you for a picture after we're done recording. Okay. So thank you for clearing the way from video. But now I don't know why that. Well, if that is any indication, then it's going to be a good flattering thing. I would say don't even worry about what kind of poses. Or the picture's being used for. Yeah, it's really not that important.

No. You can just take a photo of me if that's easier. That feels creepy. That's what I'm going to do. Sure. Just take one with his phone at some point. At some point. And full body, please.

Yeah. Yeah, full body. And some measurements too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's get the measurements in there, too. Just whatever, whatever can. What measurement? Like, oh, just whatever you can.

Don't be dirty, shy. Top to tip. Top to tip. Top of your head to tip of the penis. Yeah, sure. That's one of the standard measurements. That actually would be a good measurement. Yeah.

Tells you a lot about a guy. I would say it doesn't tell you that much, and that's why it's good. Yeah. Because it's not. It doesn't tell you that much until you see the guy standing up. Yeah. And then it tells you

a 27. A good amount. I know that guy's a 27. 27 inches. It's like for her Winnie the Pooshes. 27 inches? Yeah.

That's a good. Yeah. That's a good point. Also, anytime that a penis is measured, it should be from not the base of the penis, but the end of the shirt.

Yeah. That is hanging over. Yeah. Because that's really the... Can we hold up how much 27 inches is in the air? Can we guess? Can we guess?

Can we guess? Because I'm feeling like it's pretty small. 27 inches would be like here to... Oh, wait, wait. Lean back. Oh, interesting. Interesting number, you bet. That's not the top.

You didn't go top. He went to the top. He didn't not go to the top. It would have been worse if I went to the top. How? Wait, I'm sitting, though. Hold on. Okay.

All right. Hold on. Wait. Do we have a measuring tape in here? We have to have a measuring tape in here. I think we do. There's too much in here. Open wood everywhere.

Do you not have a measuring tape. I got to have a measuring tape. Two mics. Do the... Show me where you're thinking. I don't know. I'm thinking like this. That is, that...

27 inches, no. Right? Because 27 inches is just over two feet. That'd be like if I took, because I know my inseam is like a 29. But that's the inset. So that'd be like this. That'd be a 27.

So that would be like here... All right, here comes a measuring... Yeah, this is what I was thinking. Is it short? Yes, man. It's 27 inches, bro. Okay, maybe if I'm sitting, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let's see.

How does that change? 27 top to tip, top to tip. It's two foot three. Top to tip. That's, I mean, we're getting close. Yeah. Yeah. I think I was right on the money.

If anything, if we're going top to tip sitting, that's 27. We definitely weren't going sitting. Who's measuring sitting? Well, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what the measurement's even for. It's just a new measurement I made up. Yeah, I guess that's true.

Yeah, it basically doesn't even matter. Well, Shai, you got any amazing events coming up at any point in the future? Yeah, I'm at a Redora wine bar this weekend. Sunday and Monday. This might, when does this come out? No, this comes out next week. This comes out next week. A week from tomorrow, I think.

Next Wednesday. This comes out next Wednesday. Yeah. So if you're in New York City come tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow Thursday, the 29th. come to time again and if you let me know that you're a podcast

about List fan you can bother me as much as you want. Wow. Wow. That's an amazing. Talk to me while I'm waiting for the bathroom

while I'm waiting for my drinks while I'm talking to someone else. You can interrupt me when I'm talking. Just hang out next to me and just like glare at me or just like refuse to make eye contact. Wow.

That sounds amazing. And what do you have a... Come bring your girlfriend and tell her about her sit there and walk. around me and make her like be silent make your girlfriend take a picture of you with shy they do they do sometimes bring their girlfriend

really yeah it's it's honestly insane how close the burger man's lifestyle is to the like middling comedian's lifestyle yeah that's my mom where can people find you on Instagram and stuff

Shai's burgers at Instagram at Instagram S-H-Y-S that's about it All right, perfect. Well, thank you very much. I do have a Twitter account that my friend used to run

for a very long time and stopped inexplicitly. Check that out. Some of it's kind of funny. Some of it's kind of racist. All right. Thank you for being honest. But yeah, it's on there too.

All right, by Shire. Thank you for having just on. We'll be in Cleveland and Pittsburgh in June. Go buy some tickets for that. And subscribe to the Patreon to see the final episode of the five weeks of friendship. What could it be?

What could it be? Well, you'll find out as long as you subscribe. And the painting will be amazing. And I have a show with Alex Forrest at Union Hall. Yes. Bye. Bye. Have you guys seen that Cajun guy who's like blonde mullet?

Oh, stale Cracker. Stale Cracker. Oh, my God. Is that put the butter on the grill? Yeah. That guy with the son? I think it's put the butter on the grill. No, no, no, no.

This guy's like, he always says like, that's what I'm talking about, dude. That's what I'm talking about, dude. That's money, dude. That's money, dude. What would you say he does? He just does. Dude, I don't know. I think he, like, lays gravel.

There's one video where he's like, before he's cooking crawfish, he's like, we got, like, it means nothing to y'all outside of Louisiana, but we've got this white gravel here. It's like currency to him. Wow. You can pay for, dude, literally. You can pay for a seat. food boro with the little white pebbles. But he's just like, this guy knows a lot about it.

Yeah. I like that guy with his son, I think. The guy with his son is, I think, maybe. It's the sweetest thing. Maybe a little bit cooler than Stale Cracker, I think. He's cool as fuck. They're kind of on the same level. And they're always making, like, the first 10,

the thing is, occasion food is like five things. Yeah. So now you click on that guy's thing. He's like, today we're cooking us on chicken catchetorian on the Blackstone grill. and he's making like I'm making an orio from scratch I'm making a whole Oreo from scratch and I just don't understand

I'm not making anything today I'm tired I didn't talk to but the video but I'm not making anything he has done that he's done videos where he cleans the grill which to me is doing nothing

cooking nothing on the grill today we cook it absolutely we cook an air put some of that air put that on the grill So now we're just going to wait about 60 seconds. Yeah. Okay. Okay, goodbye.

Now we put the ice cube on the grill. I think that they should hire that guy to be like the new, like the Greta. Soonberg. Yeah, Greta is like environmental. He gives like big talks in front of like the German government for some reason. Yeah, the earth has been put right on the grill. We got to get that earth on that grill.