Podcast About List - Ep. 354 - We Went Back To School And Something Crazy Happened To Our Bodies

Episode Date: September 3, 2025

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Hello, Podcasts about List fans. I'm alerting you about a new podcast about list emergency. On September 11th, 2025, we accidentally booked a live Dungeons and Dragons podcast. This is going to be a Dungeons and Dragons show hosted by Dungeon Master Patches. Hi, it's Patches. And it will be at Life World in Bushwick, Brooklyn. I have the poster here. So remember to buy tickets because this is an emergency.

I'm going to fucking throw up. Dude, we missed massive news over the weekend. What? Donald, the president has passed away. Donald's president. The president has passed away. His announcement started yet that's supposed to happen today? By the time this comes out, he will have already been, he will have been publicly known as dead for, I would say.

Hasn't, can I say, hasn't this happened with? like both Trump and Biden like five times in the past few years and every time people act like they don't remember. Well, then he said he had an announcement and then he came out today and then just said it's going to be called the Department of War, not the Department of Defense. Didn't he say that days ago? I think this was his official announcement. Wait, when is the last time that we've seen him?

It's not today. It was five. Or did he come out yet? Because I would have, but again, but again, that's the thing. Nobody, everybody gets whipped up into a lather and then they come out and they pretend like they never said anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They let it, they let it fizzle away. They don't say we were wrong. I knew he wasn't dead. He's dead. You don't know it until you see him. I knew he wasn't dead. Even if I see it with my own two eyes, even if I shake his hand and fucking he hires me to be his assistant,

I would still think he's alive. We don't know, no, you don't know how they move up there. No, I know how they move. You don't know the first thing. I'm in the intersual. You don't look at it. Look at it. it's spread.

What? I'm in the inner circle. The logoless black clothing has metastasized across the entire body. Fucking CSI extra much. There's a logo right here.

But I can see a rip and I see it's white pocket. We need to sweet this. There's a logo right there. They don't they call it sweeting when they call it? That's in Be Kind Rewind. Yeah, but I think they also call it that

when you take, when you like cover up crap like a crap on a logo. I've probably got it 20 miles of a rewind. And you have. you have. Dude, you work on sets very often. No, no, no. You're always hanging around. The

cameraman's doing this shit, the cinematographer, and you're always back there. Can we suede that? Yeah, can you actually sweep that? We just turn. But I mean it in the B-Kind rewind sets. Can I recreate this later? Can we just make a bunch of stuff out of tissue boxes and toilet paper rolls? Can we have them playing pretend for a little bit? Yeah. That movie is so fucking amazing.

Mm-hmm. It's, uh, it's, it, uh, it, uh, it should have a little more heft. A little more cultural sway. Jack Black. oh yeah well yeah he's fat but I know what you mean it should be more it should be more remembered yes I agree or or I don't even

like I just it's it's so obviously created a genius idea yeah it's so it should have it should have like you know how like the Matrix has the red pill that's like yeah it should have sweeting should have stuck on it I remember it did for maybe a couple years but it should still be I can tell right now by Pat's expression that he fucking

hates be kind rewind you guys done you don't like be kind rewind you think this is like fucking gay. You probably think this movie's gay. I think it's right. I don't even like the movie that much. But it's fun. I don't think it's a good movie, but I think that it should have more, it should

have more influence over culture in general. I'm just the idea behind it. The part where he gets electrocuted and he like fly or not electrocuted, sorry, but where he gets electrified. I think of that as Cameron's law at this point

in my life. I've moved on for that one. If I say electrocuted, I mean, What if cameras around to say, did he die? Yeah, yeah. Well, I've graduated from being annoyed by that and started thinking of it as more of an interesting fact at this point out. I respect that.

Yeah, I have new things to be annoyed by. What now? What's up next? Taking up more space. Taking up more space annoys you? Or just there are new things that are taking it more space. Have to push out some of the old ones. What's your number one peeve at the moment?

That's such a good question, and I really would have to think about it. God, what is my number? Number one P. What's the thing that has recently just been fucking, you're like, oh, my God. I feel like I had one like a day or two ago that I was thinking about and was really like it was sticking. It was sticking in my brain. And now I'm losing it because I'm just too happy.

Dude. I'm just too happy to even be upset by simple. That's great news. You're that happy? What are you thinking about, Pat? You've just been kind of, for a couple minutes in, you're just staring at it. out into space what's going on i don't know you playing skate in your head i'm not playing skate in my head what i don't know what's going on with me is it the s and l news you didn't get

did you even get asked to audition this year yeah but i went under a pseudonym what was a pseudonym fuck lorn yeah with the with all the vowels replaced with exes yeah you really did that yeah i don't know why i really wanted that that really seems like a bad idea. He would be your boss if you went and actually got the job. I know. My first name was fuck Lorne. The last name was he a rapist.

About Lorne Michaels? Yeah. I don't know that many other Lorne's. Yeah, there really aren't any other L-O-R-N-E. I don't know that. Where is that? I know he's Canadian. Is that where that originates from?

Lorna Dune. Lorna Dune. Cookies. Yeah, I know about those. But yeah. It's a brand of cookies. That was the stupidest decision That is stupid

Fuck Lorne, he a rapist That's what you went as As your name Kind of ruin Did you do impressions? Did you do impressions? What do they make you do? Yeah, I did only impressions of him Of Lorne

Uh-huh Okay, doing what? I just, I was like You think that's an impressional Lorraine? Well, that's dad No, this was dead. This was dead.

Oh, okay. So you did his whole, Lauren family. The Michael's family. Yeah. And then I ate my own shit because I was being him and the impression. So you did Lauren Michael's aristocrats? Yeah, pretty much. You did the whole family, eat shit.

And I think maybe I would have got it if I didn't. I mean, I guess it's my own take on the joke, but some people are saying it's plagiarism. the aristocrats you know you gotta eat their shit when you do it in the aristocrats what a funny joke yeah I don't even know about this you don't know what the aristocrats is don't think so really I feel like I've heard you say

this before yeah he heard me say that I don't know it the aristocrats is a joke it's so stupid it's the worst joke in the world yeah it's like a joke it's like a joke from God only knows when the 30s wait is it a movie no it's a joke they did make a documentary about it

it's a joke it has a name Yeah, the aristocrats. It's a joke, and the idea is that everybody has their own version of telling this joke. Dude, I can't believe I'm. It's horrible. Yeah. It's a joke where a family goes into it. Yeah, Gilbert Godfrey kind of put it on the modern map. Yeah.

And it's like a family goes into a talent management company, an agent. He says, like, all right, go ahead and show me your talent. And they start eating each other's shit. And Gilbert Godfrey is describing this whole thing about the mom's son. sucking the baby's dick and fucking the dog and the dog's licking the dad's ass. That's kind of funny. And the pew, there's pubs. They have a brother that's just pubes.

You know, you make up stuff like that when you tell the joke. And then the agent, the joke, the end of the joke is that the agent says, what do you, well, what do you call yourselves? And the family says the aristocrats. So it's from an era when aristocrats were to be derided. Right. And to be. So, I mean, if we were going to do that. I don't know even.

I couldn't name one. aristocrats yeah so the end of the joke they say the aristocrats what would the modern version yeah what's the modern maybe like the Kennedy now because even then that's still two that's the aristocrat is sort of a class of socialites yeah not the socialites but maybe the influence we're the influencers oh or the influencers yeah that wouldn't be that's too that would be influencers don't have enough power that's punching down why because influencers are you think you're above influencers where the fuck do you think you are where do you get off I'm probably in like producer we can't call it the producers you think producers are above influencers dude influencers

run the fucking world influencers are second oh wait a minute what here we go what they go in there they're you know the mom and that is shitting on the brother and the dog is eating the dad's ass and all this stuff and then the agent says oh what's your name and then they go the Kardashians okay oh i think i've heard that though i like that yeah that's pretty good though that's good so that's good so we could probably do the aristocrats. So you're saying it's from the 30s or something. Think about it from every decade, right? So it's like the 40s.

What about this? What about they do the whole thing? You still got aristocrats in the 40s. Okay, sorry. 50s. What do we got there? Aristocrats probably still aristocrats. Maybe the 60s.

We say they're in. 60s. Politicians or socialites. Well, the aristocrats aren't like a family. Yeah, I know. The Kennedys, I think, is too small of a. Yeah, but they were big enough. Maybe the first half of the 70s, the first half of the 70s, 60s, say, oh, we're the Kennedys.

Then the second half, say, we're sunny and share. We're going down to two people. Shit, that's the 70s. It's a five-person family, and they're going to say, we're sunny and share. And we're sharing our shit. Why don't they say, we're, I kind of think the aristocrats just works forever. There's all, it was still of aristocrats. Name an aristocrat.

Yeah, there's no. aristocrats just basically we just don't know their names anymore because they're hiding because of these jokes is what i think that's possible they don't want to put their name out there but if you dude all i'm going to say is if you have ever been onto the rooftop of a building in new york city you have seen many aristocrats up there really just think about it we don't have aristocrats anymore why don't they say we're the fucking the shit eating but yeah we're the shit eating family we're the butt fucking shit eaters disgusting we're the incestuous family we're just a bunch of We're just a family.

We actually don't have a name. Don't mind us. We're just weird. We're just a bunch of weirdos. Yeah. The agent says, what do you call yourselves? And they go,

we're the disgusters. I feel like I need to bed a day. What's wrong with you, man? I'm trying to cut back on caffeine. Really? Would you? All right. Walk me through what you've had today.

Just one coffee. Normal coffee, not even with instant Bastello, dude. Whoa. That's all you've had? I know. I feel like at like,

like literally like at midnight I feel like fucking dog shit damn dude just got scared about my heart rate and stuff and I was just like your heart bumping up yeah because I did I took while I was with Brian

and we were working on the song for the secret project and I took an adderall which I'm allowed to do because I was prescribed it once and I accidentally took it after drinking a Celsius and I was like

really afraid of my heart all day. I'm afraid of your heart. Yeah, just like the, you know, I was just hearing like, like heartbeat. You had high blood pressure. I had high heart rate. Yeah. Yeah. If you're hearing it, you probably just had high blood rate. I was feeling it.

You ever eat like a like a bunch of french fries and do that you get that? Yeah, when you're like, you're like, it's like in, you know, in a movie when someone's having an aneurism and they move the camera for with them falling to the floor. Yeah. That's what I feel. When I eat two slices of pizza, I'm like, no. Dude, how fucked up is it? You ever get heart?

How fucked up is it that heartburn is exactly all of the same things as heart attack? And how fucked up is it that they call it heartburn? I know. It's nothing to do with it. Yeah.

It's an esophical problem. That's got just the most horrible heartburn. It would go all the way through my, I would feel it in my back too. Yes, dude. I thought I was dying every time. Dude, I get heart, I'll get an esophageal like spasm.

I'm like, here it is. I'm having a heart attack. My heart is exploding. This is it. That's what happened to my dad. He just thought it was a fucking, he was like, oh, I ate a big meatball sub earlier. That's why it's one of the worst flaws of the design.

We need to move the throat into the butt. Yeah. I like this. Far from the heart. Far from the heart. But where does a mat? Where's a tongue go? Stays.

The tongue could stay here, but just get longer. You put it in your ass. You use your tongue to taste it and chew it. Oh, no. The tongue is. becomes very long in this human 2.0 and it can carry the food. Oh, wait. And it

puts it in it. It tastes it and then it stuffs it in. But when you taste your ass too when you did that. Human 2.0 though. Uh, well, we'll get that in 3.0. I liked human 2.0. We'll get that in 3. I was thinking maybe as 1.0ers we could maybe chew our food, put it into a ball. Like if we're

sandwich, I hope you know, you just invented a term that will come to be very, very widely used. Yeah, 1.0 hours. A 1.0. You just invented a... That's so good. That is really good. As 1.0ers, you know, human 1.0, we could

right now, because we can't, we don't have the tongue through our butt, you could just chew our food and then shove it up there. But it doesn't get that chested like that. Well, you were asking about the flavor. Yeah, yeah. My worry about your about your 2.0. Well, we can clean that. We can knock that out in three.

But we already have the plan for it. Why are we letting that happen? These people haven't been made yet. Okay, well, let's let me think. Well, then maybe why don't we just make the butt taste good? That is, I would say that even that would be enough to make a 2.0 human. Because everyone, the first solution that's going to come to everyone's mind is, let's get rid of the taste buds. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But then you're losing, what's the point of life? You're following the fun. Right? I mean, well, yeah. Which is that you, and now all day you just lick your butt. And we obviously can't get rid of heartburn. Yeah. It's just, that's too much.

It's like cancer. It doesn't, just what's not going to go away. But at least in this version, you could have your butt. Well, what is, heartburn is a, like, it's stomach acid going up into your, yeah, it's reflux. So why don't we just remove acid completely? Take the stomach acid out of your stomach? So in 2.0, human 2.0, we don't have any more stomach acid. You seem to really want to not digest your food.

Both of your ideas are kind of about not being able to digest food. One, it was that you chew your food and then you shove it in your ass and then fart it out. That's a 1.0. That's a stop gap. Yeah. Okay. But in 2.0, we don't even need food anymore. We will have, well, we can't have food if we want it.

If they, yeah, I was going to say, if they come to my house and they say, we're upgrading you 2.0, you can't have food anymore. I'm fucking killing myself. I'm saying, sorry, I'm a one point hour. You have the gun to your head and they say, you can have it. if you want it for pleasure. Oh, okay. But it goes in your butt. But your butt has a tongue.

Your butt has a tongue. But then I might as well just put my fucking eyes and my nose and my hair or my... Right. And there's a pose. It's a slippery slope. Yeah. You can do whatever, man. And I'm like the upside down.

Long giraffe tongue that puts the food up your butt and the butt tastes good. You can also start fucking with your... What? You can pick your nose with your tongue. Yeah, you can clean your eyes like giraffly. Is that what you meant? Fucking with your tongue. If you had a draft.

half tongue. Oh, all right. I guess that makes a little sense. You just started looking like Popeye at us. What the fuck does that mean? Dude, I don't like when you don't have caffeine, you're so kind of lucid and observant. I don't like that.

I like when you're kind of freaked out and darting eyes. Freewheeling. Yeah, paranoia. I don't know. I like that better, too. You're so relaxed, dude. Makes me feel better when I have a million pieces of caffeine. You're like Greg Geraldo.

I'm like Greg Giroldo two minutes before he passed How did he pass drugs? Yeah, drugs So because you didn't drink coffee, that's a drug to you? Yeah, coffee is a drug It's actually one of the most addictive drugs So you do not understand what I said Caffeine is the most addictive drug in the world

To you, the absence of caffeine is at all a drug It is a drug being high on no caffeine I have my normal... You're sitting like, my normal level is with caffeine. There is no pain. You're just fucking tripping right now. What do you see, man?

What do you kind of visuals you're getting off of no coffee? Dude, I see green with black hair. You're pulling your pants apart. That's what you're seeing that. It's my whipping my pants. So you're allsack.

Green with black hair. Why is this? Why am I? Oh my God, that was, there's it, sorry. Back, he's caffeinated again. No, that was the guy that was the guy that came up to me the other day. You opened the, knocked on the door and poked his head in and was like, so you guys were podcasting.

You guys should have me on. The government paid me to pollute the ocean. Oh, yeah. We should have that. That's cool. I want to hear that story. I don't want to support the government. Yeah.

Why is that supporting the government? Fuck no. Because he was paid by. But he's whistleblower. No. He wants to be a whistleblower. He wants to be a whistleblower. Yeah.

This is a guy who wants to be a whistleblower really bad. because he was the government. He worked for the government. You guys know that, he worked for the NSA. Yeah, that's true. He's a fed.

He's a fucking fed. He's a fucking fed. He's a glowing. He's a glowing. He's a glowing. Dude, I freaking hate glowies doing. Yeah.

And I just love to see the truth of everything by learning. I just can't get enough of figuring out the facts. Me too. I love to see the truth anonymously. I love. You're firing shots at them. fuck brace dude you don't want to

you don't want to do that oh yeah you better be careful you don't want it with brace and Mr. Young Topsky man they're going to do a two-parter on you that's right exposing you bitch exposed

the Patrick Doran problem yeah so his dad actually worked for FedEx yeah his dad's a Fed yeah There's a white van that keeps It's like a food truck that was converted from a FedEx truck And it keeps parking outside my apartment every once in a while

But it has the FedEx logo still on the front But the X is worn off so it says Fed It's a big white An empty white van that keeps working in for directly Well if it's a food you said it's a food truck Yeah they should replace a few letters Yeah fed That's a great name for a food

I thought it was going to FedEx I had a better idea which was food X Food X is good That'd be good. Did you know that there's a fork in between the E and the X and the food ex and the food? What is the thing? It's a fucking arrow. It's an arrow.

Yeah. I don't really think of them as an arrow company. Yes, it goes from point A to point B. I do that shit. I do that shit all the time. Pause. But did you know in the Amazon logo, the arrow goes from, the smile goes from is an arrow going from A to Z? I did know that.

Oh, look at this. There's two arrows on the FedEx logo on this one. I've never done a version of the line. I never saw that blue arrow pointing at the other arrow. Wow, those guys are clever. Did you know there's actually a bump inside the E and the first E in the FedEx logo? It must have had a mentalist come up with that. Oh, I was thinking like someone with mental issues.

No, no, no. A mentalist. A job is to find something. This is the logo I want to manipulate. This should be the logo. Yeah. Right?

I mean, this is a better logo. How about just an arrow? Did you know there's a FedEx? How about just the arrow? How about just the arrow and we point it up and maybe we put a little white alien next to them? Yes. That would be a much better logo.

I'm not. I'm not mad at that. No. I like that. Wait, like a white alien like. Like a white alien with like two little antennas coming up. Okay.

I think it is one. I mean, maybe this is a new version, I guess. Who you tell you about? version. You, dude, you have had the worst life of anyone ever lived

if you don't know what we're talking about. It's like you don't fucking like knowledge. You're talking about Paul? Paul? Bro, are you actually? Do you know who I'm talking about? I bet you don't know who I'm talking about. You don't know what Paul?

Yeah, we know the movie fucking Paul. You think we don't know what we're talking about. You have no idea what we're talking about? You don't know what we're talking about. You don't understand us. He has no idea. He has a one antenna, but he has two like ears. He has kind of like like a like,

Does that make you... This Paul. No, not that Paul. No. Okay. I know all the Pauls that there are. Make one guess what me and him are talking about. You get one guess.

He made a guess. He said Paul. No, yes. Who doesn't have antenna at all, by the way. The arrow pointed up. The white alien. I actually don't know. The arrow pointed out with a white alien.

You really must not... Like, I don't understand how you can keep current with anything if you don't know this. How do you even know... How do you even know... How did you even know the S&L news? Dude, his name's fucking Snew. Snoo, bro. You should know Snew.

Me and him are, you were watching the S&L, the deadline S&L report. Me and Hammer are waiting for the SNU update. I didn't go on Reddit. I didn't go on Reddit until I met you guys, honestly. That is honestly one of the most hurtful fucking thing. I never went on Reddit until, like, you guys showed me stuff about it. Uh-huh. Where would you go?

What did you do? When I go on the computer? Are you on iPhone? No, just go on like YouTube and like... And how did you learn all the memes that you liked so much? You're getting... The darkest corner of the web. Let me ask you a quick.

Oh, God. Dude, don't tell me you were on fucking, you know what. Etsy. Really? And Twitter. No. FunnyZone. FunnyZone.

Okay. If you didn't go and read it. I'd go out to funnyzone. every day that's why I learned about everything. When you were 14 years old and you were like, damn, I really want to see a funny video or I want to play. I want to find an emotional flash game. Where would you go to find an emotional flash game? I want to see what the new update of Minecraft will be like. Yeah. I didn't do the shit like that. I want to see. You never looked up emotional flash games? I know for a fact you did shit like that. I did shit like that. Like what was that kind of thing? Because I used to look up emotional flash games all the time. I never played emotional flash games. They had emotional flash games where you could. die or your family dies or there's beautiful music. It's the camera you're the camera of the news and then you're zooming in on different racial

issues until you cause a global Oh, that's that fucking guy who has that website with a bunch of those. That guy's way past I'm talking about real emotional flash games. Like what? Like there's one where it's like every day is the same shit for this guy and you like literally the only

control you have this used to blow my mind when I was a kid. The only control you have is if you write arrow and you wake up and you walk out of your house and you go through the kitchen and you kiss your wife and you go to work or you get in your car

you drive to work you go to work you go back to your house you watch TV and you go to sleep How do you get back to your house with just going right? I don't really know. I guess that

so he's tired he's really tired Yeah, he must be insane of course he doesn't have time for a social life he's just fucking walking across the earth every day yeah

but anyway does all this shit and then one of these days and he's looking sad and sadder and sadder again one of days he leaves his He leaves his house. He poked his head in again.

Oh, really? No, he walked up to the door and poked his head in. Is that him? Not the red shirt guy. He's got a backwards hat on. Yeah. He walks out of his house. And then we see him walk out of a stairwell onto a roof.

And he jumps off. My God. The game ends. Yeah, the game ends. And then you can never play the game again without changing your IP address. That's cool. That's cool. Yeah.

And really, it's not even a game and it's not fun at all. Yeah, but when you want to... It's emotional. It's art, well, it's art. It is a piece. Emotional art. It sounds pretty fucking dumb. Okay, I want...

We are going into discovery and we are... We are pulling up your entire browser history from the age of 8 to 14. We're getting it all. We're going to go through it. We're going to do a... Buddy, a lot of porn. Dude, I was a stunted... A lot of porn.

I was a stunted kid who didn't... know. I was a stunt kid, jackass. You were jumping off a shit. And I used emotional flash games to express my emotions. Is that so wrong to you? I think that's wrong. I thought we had an open thing. And I built worlds in Minecraft. I did that too.

I used to watch emotional Minecraft videos. You should have been building worlds. I did that too. All right. Well, I don't like the way you did it. You don't like how I express myself. You never have. You've always resented me for the way that I express myself because it's just not cool to you. Because you don't think I'm

cool. You've said that to me before that you don't think I'm cool. Have I said that before? Yeah. Have I really? Yeah. It didn't really hurt my feelings. You said it in this office. That's so mean. I know. You're so mean. There's no way that nobody knows that you are the secret bully of my life. No, there's no way that I've said that. And I let everything get to me. I'm not like you. I'm completely glue. I've never. You're rubber and I'm I don't think I've ever said I don't think you're cool You have said that

You said I dress like shit My music taste sucks Explicitly and implicitly You have always said that I'm not cool You think everything I like is stupid You think I suck I don't think that's true It is true

I think you're Okay If I said it At some point If there was any comment I made about the music you listen to. It's because I did spend a whole month in a car with you

and you listened to Goofy Scared to Come Outside for the whole trip. You listen to Goofy Scared to come outside for the whole trip. I actually can't believe you just fucking said that. I can't believe that either? Because can I say something, man? That wasn't him that was listening to that.

That wasn't him? No, that was Why did he sing it every day? That was everybody, man. And you just out of yourself as a complete, as a complete wet blanket. Wow. A wet blanket. I'm not a wet blanket. Because this is the best song that's ever been recorded by humanity. It's great when you hear it the first

time, the first 10 times. You didn't think it was funny? You didn't think it was good the first 10 times. I thought it was really funny. And then I was like, are we seriously still fucking playing this by like, you know, I think Texas. I was like, are we really still listening?

What would you have had me put on? I don't know. We have prefab sprout. Something. Maybe maybe some stimulating math rock. Which prefab sprout. You know, I would have been. I don't listen to them. You know, I wish I could say it wasn't cool, but it is. I don't think it's cool. Yeah, it's not cool. They're nerds. I don't think it's cool. But you're being self-effacing.

I listen to actually not cool music. I know you did. I listen to some fucking trash. I know. I'm so pissed off because I just got into the stuff. Kevin Gates and shit all the time. Yeah. And then you, you, you, have you ever been tested for BPD? No. That's a good idea. Sit here. You listen to Kevin Gates all day. and then you come on here and you say

you hate me you hate me so much that's true what are you saying I'm pissed off because I got to all the stuff that it would have been

cool if I liked it when I was back in 10 years ago yeah but now it's old hat dude I just I just try that I'm listening

to this fucking American football yeah and hear you go and look at me say oh idiot see see

see we have to get we have to pull it up pull up BPD screener we got to get Taylor Taylor tested I'll do I'll do the shit right now yeah I'll do the shit right right fucking now speed run it bro yeah the person this person often worries wait this is about somebody else it's about you but I'm okay you guys answer this for me because I guess okay all right yes that's he's worried that I'm going to abandon him okay agree yes agree intense episodes of anger or anxiety Agree.

Yeah. Can act impulsive when they're upset. Agree. Often change their long-term goals of career. Pallans agree. Stays loyal to anyone. Disagree. Disagree.

There's a degree. No loyalty. See themselves bad at unworthy. Agree. Agree. Can be hostile or aggressive. Agree. They take frantic action to avoid a relationship ending.

Agree. Every day with my wife. Said they felt misunderstood or mistreated agree. Yes. Just said that. This person's anger and seems beyond their control. Agree. They wrote the question wrong,

but we got to agree. I've had episodes where they've threatened self-harm or suicide. Pretty much every day. Yeah, mostly agree. I think I've said that. Comes across as fundamentally the same, regardless of who they're dealing with, disagree.

Disagree. Episodes are paranoid of, they're typoing all these questions. I don't know, man. Alternates between idealizing and tearing down friends are probably, completely agree, completely agree. Sometimes says they feel empty every day. Intense but unstable relations.

Their self-image seems to change rapidly and widely. Agree. Prone to episodes of reckless behavior, including sex, shopping, substance abuse, driving, or eating. Shopping is funny to throw in there. Worry is whether people close with them really care about them. Agree. Agree. Can mood can swing wildly.

Agree. Let's score it. Let's see what they said. 99 out of 100. You are... Wait, what does that mean? We can't see that, Julio. It's behind the picture.

strong signs of borderline personality strong signs are not do not make a diagnosis well yeah it's just strong signs so you may or may not have it based on that I'm pretty feeling pretty good about that yeah yeah

it's probably all the Kevin Gates do I don't even listen to that much Kevin Gates these days I don't listen to that much Kevin Gates these days I don't listen to that much Kevin Gates but I do like it I like it was a big problem

He was shitting at home Just going like That one song about Twilight I don't listen to all the time I love that song I do love We go on you baby I love how he like

Is constantly talking about sex But it's not like Like you know how like R&B songs are like sexy It's never sexy what he's saying Oh you don't think it's sexy When he says every time we talk You end up getting aroused

Fingers under your blouse Yep I'm looking into your I are looking back into mine. If I told you I was different, would you understand the difference of this different way of living? Features of the night,

we're going to be all right? In the twilight. Skin, gleaming, labeled a demon because I can't even die. The curse of eternity. That sucks of me, but why. I was thinking of if I beat that pussy up

is you going to tell on me. He does have lines where he's like, long dick, fuck a booty bubble. Yeah. Type of shit. And it's in a song where he's like, I'm going to cry.

If I beat that pussy up, is you going to tell on me? that is good i think he's cool yeah dude he's so awesome that fucking clip of him where he's like he's like they're like car with bare hands no no no do you prefer uh cold days or hot day do you prefer the summer or the winter he goes can i get real explicit in nature real quick on a real humid day i like to get a spray bottle full of coconut oil it's just a black glove He asked him about the weather. He asks him what weather he likes and he's like.

I get a black nitrile glove like I'm making a brisket and I put coconut oil on a big bitch's butt. That's so awesome. He asked him about the weather. I think he's, I think Kevin Gates is like true genius. Yeah, he's great. I think those are the only kinds of people that are like that are people who are capable of making. masterpieces. Yeah, dude, I love him. Dude, he's so awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I swear on my children. May God. May God murder my children. Kill him. Kill him today. Kill him today. Kill him right now today.

Kill him now. I wish he would do that with everything. I wish he said that after the, that should just be his like swear to God. Yeah. Kill my children. Kill them today. I get a coconut oil spray bottle. I get a black glove. If I don't make God murder my children.

Kill him today. Kill him right now. Kill my children right now. Dude, he's so fucking sick. And he lost a bunch of weight. Yeah. I like when guys convert to Islam. He converted to Islam?

Yeah. Islam. That was his album. Oh, yeah. Kevin will no longer see the pearly gates of Christian. in heaven. Yeah, unfortunately, he's going to have to go to fucking Muslim heaven, which is

red and spiky and very hot. Yeah, yeah. According to my Christian upbricking. Yeah. According to the legend of Zelda, apparently. What's in the legend of Zelda? The original copies of Ocarina of Time, the

the fire temple music had just like, like, they sampled people chanting stuff from the Quran. Wow. That's cool. There's like copies of like ocarina that have just like, it's like, oh, yeah, this is the fire temple with the big red dragon.

And then it's just like, yeah. Well, they're saying the Corona's fire. Yeah, I hope so. That's what they were trying to say. I found one on the street this weekend. I'm going to read it. I ordered one when I was in Atlantic City a couple weeks ago. I ordered one at four in the morning.

You ordered one? Yeah, I ordered one in my house. Oh, nice. Well, I found one and you didn't want it because you were lecturing me about how you have to stop picking up trash. You don't want us to turn the camera. No, you don't. Yeah, you don't want us to shock the table of trash. That's not all my trash.

We could take off what's not your trash and then turn the camera. If you take off what's not my trash, it's just the 3D printer and then... The broken 3D printer. The broken 3D printer. All the books that I found. Which is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Oh, the air fryer? Okay, if you're looking, if you're in New York City and you want an air friar, hit me up,

I'll sell it to you for... I'm going to clean it out. I'm going to test it first. I'll sell you an air fryer for $25. I found it on the street. Dude. You haven't even tested it yet? I haven't tested it yet because you guys got mad at me.

You guys got mad at me. It's our fault. Listen. At home, you need to hear my plea. You need to hear my, you need to, not my plea, but you need to hear my side. Okay. So I, our studio is close enough to a place where we could get chicken nuggets all the time whenever we want. A grocery store.

grocery store. It's close enough to a grocery store. I find an air fryer on the street that has a sticker on it that says free works. So I pick it up and I carry it from my apartment all the way here. Yeah. So we're instantly seeing. I carry it all the way here. Were you like, I'm like, dude, this is awesome. If we ever get hungry when we're like working on stuff. Were you like, I got a baby bumblebee in my hands. Everybody's going to love this shit. Yeah. And then I pull up and you go what the fuck you fucking piece of shit you asshole

get this out of here and I said I'm sorry you did do that I'm so sorry I said you piece of shit you fucking asshole yeah I didn't yell like that

you blubber you did I was like blubber and you should and look the reason that you need that you should know better than anybody because of the role

that you elected yourself to if I that means if I bring it if that means if I bring it It's fine. You think he didn't break any rules? Dude, I can't the, the, the, the, but no, you are not, you cannot call yourself trash Hitler if you're bringing in the biggest pieces of trash. It's not, it's not trash. It's something that will benefit us if we use it. If we, okay, so what, you've had it for how long?

I'm not allowed to use it. Nobody ever said that. Nobody said I'm not allowed to use it. Nobody ever said. You said I'm not allowed to use it. You put it in a place where I can't get it. I didn't put that there. You can get it right in the corner.

You, I'm telling you this point. You will never make fucking chicken nuggets at the office in an air fire. Oh, yeah. Come here in a couple days. Here's my question. Where? Okay, you buy a bag of chicken nuggets. You buy a bag of chicken nuggets.

A big bag of chicken nuggets. Where am I going to put them? Where are you going to put them? Where are you going to put them? And, well, it's going to be, like, two different batches. You're going to make two batches of chicken nuggets. We don't have a fridge here. Yeah, exactly.

That's why there's going to be, it's a whole bag of chicken nuggets. It'll serve six. So why not just make them at your hat? If we were doing an event like that, if we were doing an event like that, if we were doing a event like that, like, hmm, I don't know. Thanksgiving that we do sometimes. Yeah. We've got to do it every year. That's what you want to make it's air fried chicken nuggets.

Or I made a turkey last Thanksgiving. Yeah, you made a turkey and brought to here. It took me six hours. But there were some things, there were some things that were brought here that we could have, that could have used a little bit of extra heat that could have used a little bit of maybe like a pie or something or maybe like Brussels sprouts. We could have put those in there. This is because, okay. It's because Thanksgiving, your veggies got cold. That was two Thanksgiving ago.

That was at your house. No, that must have been four. We've done the last. That was, yeah. Two or three things. No, that was three years because that was the first year I had Mo. And he had, he ate dry food too fast and got an intense. testinal blockage.

Okay. Let's concede the airfire. Let's say that maybe it could be used once a year in some, in some, no, no, no, no, put the hand down, put the hand down. No, we're moving on from the air fryer. Let's do the same thing and let's talk about this 3D printer, man, because that is not getting used on Thanksgiving. That could be used on the set.

We talked about it this weekend. There's no way, man. Take it apart. Your tone is really, really. It's a secret. It's secret about the new set. But why? But it's so...

Keep your fucking voice down. I'll hear you. But it's so big. It's so big and useless. It's big and useless. It's fucking broken. Steve told me. Steve told me it'll cost more.

Steve did say... It would cause more to buy a new part for it than to just buy a new one. He's like, you might as well to buy a new... Yeah. And then as soon as he said that, I said, okay, we'll take it apart and put it on the set. Are 3D printers good or bad?

Bad. You can make guns with them. And that's bad? That's bad. But I mean, is it, is it in what, yeah, what says? Is it cool or not cool to be in a printing 3D printer? It's not cool to be into 3D printers. Okay.

Because it's all, it's all, it's, you can make guns, but it's all, people are only making D&D miniatures. They're making D&D miniatures and it's like, oh, I made a, that's not cool. I made a, I made a little shelf that goes under my productivity shelf that I can put my phone in, so I don't have to go on my phone anymore. The cool part is when they just make it. they, something breaks and they make a new part for it instead of buying the new part. That's cool. That's cool. But I feel like that.

Also, I think Brian told me, because he has one of these, he told me, like, when you use it, you have to, like, make sure to cure it or something because it's radioactive or some shit. It'll, like, kill you. Yeah, it's, like, poisonous if you don't cure it. Interesting. Oh, the filament is radioactive? I don't fucking know. He just was, like, yeah, they, like, if you take it out of the box, has all these warnings that are, like,

do not open it to it to. early you will die all this sort of shit he has one of these I don't know maybe it's his specific kind but he said it's pretty fucked up yeah but

well that makes me feel good about taking this thing apart yeah that's why I'm a little worried about it I don't know if there's not even gonna look good no what do you mean it's got like it's just rails

and like a fucking filament no the thing on the inside we don't know what that looks like yeah I know but what if it looks fucking awesome so we're just banking on that so it's just gonna sit here

until you're saying you got this and it'll sit here until I open it up I can open it up you didn't ask me to open it up I'll open it up but why don't you if you brought it in why don't you go in there and you find the thing that looks cool

and then throw away the rest and then you toss the rest of that fucking idiot just put the whole thing in there I mean me and Steve had a whole amazing idea for it I really was mad at Steve for indulging this idea because Steve and I have the

have the true genius and you guys do not Steve said that we could put a Pepper's Ghost in there Oh like the haunted mansion Yeah I don't think that would pick up on camera Different camera angles Well I didn't think about that

I guess but that would have been cool if we put a Pepper's Ghost Julio in it Also Pepper's Ghost Julio we'd have to fucking have a Yeah and I said A model of Julio we'd have to have a little Julio Yeah we'd have a little Julio yeah yeah How would we make that

A miniature Spy Kids 2 version that moves around? No, you just stand still. It sounds better the more you think about it. No, it really does. Also, I don't think a Pepper's Ghost

is going to look any different from just a screen on a video. Pepper's Ghost would look cooler. Maybe to us it would look cool. No, because if it gets picked up correctly, well, then we'd have to make the set dark. and I said, I said it, I could combine the thing there and then I could use the LCD screen

or the video that the Peppers Ghost thing would be out from would be from the Samsung Galaxy 9 that I found out of the screen. You were planning to combine these things? Yes, I was going to combine the Samsung Galaxy that I found in the trash too. I didn't even know about this. Yeah, I have a Samsung galaxy that I found in the trash. You were just going to use the screen for a Pepper's screen? Yeah.

Oh, my God. Called being creative. It's called having a creative mind. With a 3D printer and a Samsung galaxy that you got out of the trash. Obviously, I would gut the thing. I would gut all that. Obviously. Yeah.

So it's over there's a Pepper's Ghost that basically just needs to be a box. Yeah. Do you not know what a Pepper's Ghost is? But why would you use this? I know what a Pepper's Ghost is. Why does it need to be in this thing? Because it's yellow and it looks sick. Okay, listen. Also, if you're in New York City and you want an any cubic 3D printer that Pierce found on the street gave to me,

yeah, it's apparently broken. You can come over, you can come over and get it. You can come take it. I think you'll be bringing it to them. No. Yeah. I think that's, no, you come in here. I'll tell you the address of the building. You can come by whenever you want. No, I think that you're getting, you know. You're lugging that thing. I'm not lugging that anywhere. You won't lugging that anywhere. You get too tired lugging the stuff too here from your house? I can never bring it back.

Then they come here, then they get the tour of the studio. Okay. I'm showing them everything. I'm showing them. That's Cameron's, that's Cameron's jacket. Oh, those are all the Joe. Where's my jacket? Those are all the Joebox suits.

Oh, I'm sorry, those are pants for your general. Those are simply our costume. Yeah, exactly. Oh, that's Cameron's jacket from the Army thing. Oh, there's all the suits from Joe Box. You're trying to pin something, me having something. And the fact is I don't have anything.

That's not what I'm trying to do at all. I'm trying to give a nice tour. I'm just, look, listen. Remember this? This is from Friday at the Museum. Remember this? What were you? What was it? Well, yeah, what was from the museum? The fucking camo pants that you bought you bought the whole came outfit. No, that was way before. That was way before. Right. No. That was, that was, that's the

Camosuit from the tour, the first tour. Yeah. Uh-huh. Or it's, yeah, no, it's pre-first tour, actually. Yeah. Yeah. Well, well, well, it sounds like an amazing tour that I would give this person who would come take this trash. Well, it sounds like your info is all wrong completely.

We also pay for trash pickup, so you don't need somebody, you don't need to give somebody a fake tour. It's not trash. It's another man's treasure. Now, that I have to do. And it's, but it's not any of ours. We should, you know, I love my treasure until you broke it down. Oh, my God, I just have an lightning electric strike of

amazing idea. What? Conduct it. We should host a reboot of Junkyard Wars. Okay. What happens on Junkyard Wars? You never watched Junkyard Wars?

Well, is it like storage wars, but they pick stuff out from a junkyard? No. They send teams of people into a junkyard to create devices that dual each other. Oh, they have the same purpose. This is cool.

Out of fucking junk. wow and they found a way to make junk do that yeah so they'll get a motor out of like a motorized to RC car and they'll put it on a piece of a mattress well not they don't fight each other it'll be like okay you build everybody oh the thing you have to do this time

is make a boat cool out of junk fucking shit well I just go and find a boat yeah well I think if they rebooted with there because everybody's throwing away a good boat I think if they reboot it we should be a team at least or at least the supervisor Or we should, each of us should have our own team.

I think that. And the host should be Tom Bergeron. We bring him back from the dead. It's a good idea. I think it should just be, it should just be you. And you're not competing against anyone. I think we should just make, we should go pay the people at the junkyard.

You have to build a machine to be able to film for a day. We pay him 50 bucks. Yeah. And we just make you do junkyard awards. Because you seem to have a lot of creative ideas about how to use trash. Uh-huh. And I'd like to see that put to the test. Okay.

Okay. Well, first of all, we could put a lot of this stuff into the set. All the trash, all the electronic straps. I get that, but I'm talking specifically about ideas such as the Pepper's Ghost thing that you seem to have been past the planning phase and actually gathering materials for. No, no, no, no. That's not true. Yeah, the phases are reversed here.

That's true. The phases are, I'm carrying something out of a trash can. What, into our shared space? It's not in the same. It's not in the trash can. It's not in a trash can. You're right. It fell out of the trash can.

It's next to the trash can. All this stuff is outside in a nice bag. And they always put free on. No, no, no. With a beautiful golden draw string. Well, okay. Let's talk about my hall this weekend. Let's talk about my hall this weekend.

All right. Tell me. What did I find? Copy of the Quran. Yep. Treasure. The Japanese incense set. Treasure.

Treasure. I found two pairs of sunglasses. Trash. I saw the sunglasses. I would not, you were going to put those on your face out of the trash?

Just sunglasses in general. Steve got a photo. They're really small, funny sunglasses. Yeah, they're small funny sunglasses. Trash to me, I mean,

I guess maybe this is a cultural thing from just where I grew up, but trash to me is considered dirty and gross. Nah, that's a cultural thing. Yeah, I thought I figured that as much.

Where I grew up, we didn't think of trash like that. Trash is just stuff that, Honestly, it's just stuff. It's just more stuff. Yeah, it's just extra. Trash in the trash bin is dirty. You don't touch that.

I disagree again. That's a north-south divide. But if it's outside on a stoop or if it's outside in a bag that says free, you can touch it as much as you want. To me, in trash, what is what makes trash dirty is if it has touched the slimy banana peel. If it's touch other trash. Yeah, yeah. No, I agree. I agree.

So if two metal pieces of trash touch each other. That's fine. I agree on if it's out on the stoop or in a box. Okay. Because that's junk. Trash is in the barrel. Trash is in the bin. No, it's all, it's trash still.

It's maybe not gross trash, but the fact is, if we're talking about the items are, are. I almost did one time. It was the middle of the winter and I saw it was a, it was. I mean out of my own. Perfect. Oh, I want to eat. It was a perfectly, perfectly preserved thing of ribs on top of a trash can at the Barclay sand.

I talked about this. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah, I remember thinking it was crazy that you even considered eating meat. Yeah,

but then I showed you the photo and then you agreed. Did I say it? Really? Yeah. Oh, I'm like, oh, wait,

it's in the, it was like, literally it was like somebody had left it out for like, it was like, hey, if you want this.

That's still such a funny justification. That's what it looks like. Imagine an imaginary person in your head going, Hey, buddy, dig in. Force ghost. Yeah.

Yeah, just threw this away, actually. Hey, have it. Well, actually, I didn't even throw it away. Set it out just for you. It's not trash. I just didn't want it. Yeah, it's only been here about five minutes. Well, that's the thing.

When I moved here, I learned that people just throw out stuff. People throw out good shit here. People just put it outside. You can get almost anything in the world that you need. You can get for free if you're willing to find. That's true. If you're going to walk up and down the street. Yeah.

Yeah. And I would say that most stuff you can get in a 10 square block radius of really anywhere you are. You can get some really good stuff. Any piece of furniture. Yeah. You can get a TV from all those clothes. Close. Awesome clothes. There's a guy getting kicked out of his storage unit. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a big. Well, here I can. This is, I mean, this is truly my, this is where this is where it becomes an issue. Because I love, here's the thing. Here's the big. I love taking stuff out of the trash. Okay. And I pick up hell of junk from the street all. the time. And where do you bring that junk? I bring it to my apartment. Because bringing home trash is a problem for your wife or girlfriend. Yes. Not for your two close friends.

It's not something to inflict on your... No, it's not. No, no, no, no, no. Depending on the trash. Because if it's trash that benefits them, like maybe... Like a bunch of fucking books? Those books are supposed to come home with me. I just forgot to bring it all with me. So, for how many days a row do you think you forget? How many days have I

forgotten them? Pretty much every day since I found them. Yeah. Yeah. So that's sort of the issue to me. Yeah. Yeah. Is, I think you could get, I think at this point it would take 10 trips to get everything your house. Yeah, but did you see what the books are? Yes. Pretty cool. What kind of books

are they? Burk breathed, opus collection, five years of naughtiness. I think that's what it's called. And then, uh, the great book of, it's like a big book of rifles. And then a book about swords and then a book about handguns. And then the secret fighting styles or Asian fighting styles.

And you've been making your way through these books, right? You've been working through it. You've read a few. You've read, you've been reading through them. It isn't just basically as good as having a picture of them. Yeah, just have it simply looking at the cover maybe once. Well, the books there, those ones I'm going to bring to somebody. I forgot to do it.

And then the Chinese one, the Chinese fighting styles, that's some like, that's, you get that to your friend for his birthday. That's a good gag gift. You keep that at home. Keep that in a shelf. You have a shelf at home full of gag gifts. A gift card. Yeah.

Give me a gift card. I like a gift card. I'm not talking about you. You're not my friend that I'm giving that to. Because I know you don't like this crap. I know you don't like Chinese fighting. You know what? I acted like I was taking a front there, but I actually, thank you.

Yeah. For not giving me. Yeah. That's nice. Trash. Yeah. But that, you know, hey. How you do it?

It's a bar birthday. Not, no one else has brought them a gift. They have to carry it around the entire night. Yeah. No, they put it with their shots. Dude, you're actually like a trash creator. You're a terrorist. You disseminate trash. You do.

You gather trash to give it to everybody else. I bring that to someone. Every piece of trash. And they're what they fucking do with it. Every piece of trash that you brought it to them. You think that. They like me. And they were like, oh, yeah, look at this.

Patrick got me this. That thing is going in the trash. Not true. Not true. I gave my friend Clark a DVD that. that was my grandfathers that was going in the trash and I said hold on to that I'm going to take that

the DVD called Krav Maga The Israeli Connection The Israeli connection yeah Clark still has that and then every year after that I think I've given Clark a TVD for his birthday I think I got Clark Free Guy Free Guy for you guys a great movie so I'm back on your side

for the first time I'm back on your side I got to ask Clark if he still has them also tell me you know what you should ask You should ask him. Hey, man. Can I borrow a free guy? I don't even have a DVD here. That's a good, stealthy way to do it.

This is random. I'm asking everyone I know. Do you have a copy of free guy I can borrow? I'm doing a screening. Free guy. At the metrograph, I'm doing a talkback. Yeah. I have to have the DVD.

And they said I have to bring my own DVD. I've had the Metrograph right now. And I, we don't have the movie. I thought they would have it. They asked for a DVD specifically. Do you guys ever go to like a movie theater birthday party for a kid when you were a kid? And you saw the DVD menu up on the screen?

No. That happened to me once or twice. We used to have church. At a movie theater? Yeah. Oh, man. There was a time where I went to church at the movie theater, which was insane.

The movie theater in my town turned into a church. Really? Yeah. We were in fucking theater four. You would walk in. and they would have like the donuts out like a normal church and everybody's just in the lobby of the movie theater and all the employees are there like cleaning

it's like a thing in like evangelical church it's normal to have donuts at church I feel like a yeah pastures and donuts we got that at church we didn't get that at the church we were fucking stupid those were those were hidden from you and then we had maybe get this man after church you get a meal after church yeah we didn't have that you get a bunch of the worst fucking barbecue

my heart in your life I worked at, like, a Catholic church next to our, like, what was the weird thing about that place? They had a realistic Jesus that hung up. He was, like, crying. That's how they made it realistic? Like, the big, like, it is realistic. He would be crying.

Yeah. No, he wouldn't be trying? It was like a Jesus hanging like this. Also, there's a lot of crying Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that scares the fuck at you as a kid. Crying?

Tears of blood. Tears of blood, Jesus. Well, that's just drops of blood that maybe go past his eye. Yeah, from the thorns. I only went like two or three times to that church because my ass was too neurodivergent. I would have loved to have met you in church. Yeah.

You wouldn't have met me. I was in the quiet room. What's the quiet room? They had a quiet room. For you? Spaz kids and old ladies. They put that you two together? They would, they would, I think the,

That's a recipe for disaster. I think the thought was... It's a four-course meal and no-sourri. Yeah, I think I don't... Jeez, I don't know. Say it again. That's a four-course meal and no-sourri. They had a quiet room at the church

that they put me in with old women. I think the thought process was that if the kids see the old ladies, they're not going to act up. Oh, they'd be scared. But guess what my ass did. Slap the old ladies. Shut up, bitch.

Shit your fucking mouth. Man, I'm a spaz kid. Doing that running around. I'm hyper. Y'all didn't even know what hyper is. This was a regular episode. We forgot to do anything. It's not quite over yet.

What time is it? It's 57 minutes. Oh. I mean, do we dive into it? Well, I did find some funny stuff. I found some funny stuff. All right, we'll do it. Whatever.

Yeah. We'll run through it fast. Yeah, I got some time. I got to get my last. laptop, though. Well, I have mine right here so I can go first. Nice. I think I have mine right here. Ah! Oh, here's something

I wanted to tell you guys that I forgot about till just now. Yeah. I have basically experienced a new frontier in food. Oh, really? A new... And maybe you guys have made... You guys, I feel like, are more foodies than me. So maybe you have to tell

me if this is already something that you're familiar with. But I went to a restaurant. with my wife this last week we went to like this like a nice this this uh this uh this nice restaurant uh and this town upstate and it had uh it was a it had a food it had a rice dish this was a cantonese style restaurant they had a rice dish that on the menu was branded it was branded with the supreme logo really do you have a photo what i did not take a photo unfortunately wait oh it was all the food was normal and then it had like a a dish that next to it

had the Supreme logo. I like he said that like you prefaced it that we're foodies like we were going to like there's actually a lot of supreme food. So that was the joke

you've probably had supreme rice. Yeah that was the joke part of that. Wow. That's funny. And then I asked the the waitress I was like why is this rice have the Supreme logo next to it

and she just went like well the owner's just a big fan of street wear and I was like and I asked again I was like but why why on the rice and she was like yeah he just likes that stuff but you guys have never seen this Supreme

where were you? I've never seen Terrytown New York I want to I want to learn about this place so I want to learn about the guy who runs it so well yeah let me maybe I could find a picture of the menu I'm gonna read my first thing yeah go ahead this is from today we were checking out teachers because it's back to school time yeah that's what today was supposed to be about I found this guy

in proteacher.net whose name is hi-fi man do you guys know this guy no i just noticed his profile picture is the beat by dray logo that's not a real high fine man beats beat's b e e t s by shrewd oh my god that's pretty good yeah this is from december 16 i should have looked closer at his logo 2012 i feared this college has changed has changed my son from hi-fi man so this is a teacher in the in the off-topic teachers lounge section. He came home for the holidays on Thursday. We were excited to see him, even though he was only gone three weeks since his last visit. Things are pretty much the way they were last time he was up. He was here. Up very late in the morning, no, early afternoon on many days. Honestly,

I don't get how anyone can sleep in past six, but I suppose there are a few odd ones here and there beside him. Most days he was here just long enough to shower once he got up and then go hang out with friends. Last night, he spent the night at his friend's house. He walked in the door not long before my wife returned from church. As my wife and I were getting lunch, ready. She said she needed to make our bed before he went into our bedroom. I thought it was to play the Xbox, but no. She tells me he's going in there to watch a football game. Football. When in the hell did he start following football? And more importantly, why? I'm in shock. Disappointed, really. I'd imagined all kinds of scenarios where his life wasn't turning out like I imagined.

Getting a girl pregnant. Terrible, but we can work through that. Telling us he's gay. Fantastic. I hate weddings. Whoa. What is this post from? 2012 this at least offers a good chance of a simple ceremony about the worst i could imagine was learning he was a republican still i would try to love him eventually football however was not something i could ever imagine there's no way i can deal with that have you seen football fans they're loud they do something called tailgating it doesn't sound legal and there are some points or there's some that paint their faces and bodies i'm not talking the cool kind of body painting where women are naked and you spend hours trying to figure out the borders of all the naughty bits this is big beer bellies on display with far too little paint to camouflage them. Faces two. I'm trying to come to grips with this. This has got to be fake, man. I mean,

no, it's complete. Look at, look more, look at through more of his posts. 2012. Something really strange is going on at my house. Just a bit over a week ago, I started, this is also his son's still in town.

Oh, the other detail about this is that this is the day after the Sandy Hook shooting and all of the other posts on this thing are like, are like remembering this name, remembering this name.

And then he posted this. My son watches football. Good Lord. Next week, I'm guessing his son is still in town. Something really strange is going on at my house. Just a bit over a week ago, I started noticing used glasses left everywhere. Napkins and forks, too. Drawers and cupboard doors left open and lights on everywhere.

The hallway smells again, too. I would say it's a haunting of some sort, but my son who's been back to visit with us a bit over a week ago doesn't agree. Strange. Oh, and money is practically jumping out of our bank account, too. so he's not so happy that his son is visiting you know no no get the sun out yeah we don't want this we don't like sun cannot be around hi-fi man no hi-fi boy needs to leave hi-fi man's house low-fi boy low-fi boy low he's going to become damn that's and that's a free uh name for a white rapper out there high-fi boy low-fi boy this is a different thing but hi-fi man is basically

the local he's he's the local cut up on this website And I recommend, he stopped posting him He's a teacher? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But I like him. I think that he has a nice dry sense of humor.

Yeah. And I think he's very witty. I'd like to talk to him about stereo equipment. I don't know that he actually cares about that shit. He's got the beats by shrewd. That's true. Yeah, but that's an audio file joke. I see.

Well, I was going to say that kind of is almost disrespectful to audiophelia. Yeah. Because it's making fun of beats by gray. Yeah. Huge staple of the community. Audio follows a love Beats by Dray. Yeah, it's like one of their favorite things. What was the strangest thing you got from a student?

During this time of year, students bring in small tokens for us. One year, our local paper did a piece on things teachers got for Christmas. One got a laced teddy. Mom worked at a lingerie store. One got a pork chop, still hot wrapped in tinfoil. The teacher said the little guy looked at her so expectantly, she took a bite. I once got a homemade cake. The student told me I was supposed to share it with the class.

I did, and it was delicious. So what have you received that still makes you laugh? And somebody says here, I got a red satin thong from a student. In the student's defense, it was wound up to make it look like a rose, and I didn't even figure out it was panties until a few weeks after I received it.

Ew. It's nasty. A frozen turkey. Yep. They showed up at my door with a big frozen turkey. She was from another country, so maybe that is a custom in other places. I want to live in whatever country

that's a custom in. Turkey. I once got a little plaque from a Hispanic student that said, I love you, dad. I'm a woman. Oh, I thought that was part of the plaque. I love you, dad. I'm a woman.

Yesterday, one of my girls brought me a lucky coin for a Christmas gift. Turns out it was an, I'm an AA, two-month sober medallion. Oh, no. That's pretty, that's actually funny. Yeah. That would be cool. What else do I have on here?

How many of your gifts to students give you that end up in a yard sale? I'm not a knick-knacky kind of person, but 30 to 50% of stuff ends up in the trash. Oh, just certain conversations that I've had my life remind me of this. I guess we don't have to read that one. Yeah, we already talked about that one for a minute. That's kind of the entire first hour of the episode. People talk about the Mayan calendar.

You know what? You do yours, Cameron. Actually, I close all the high-fi man tabs and that's where all my funny stuff was. Okay, this one is, do you, this is, I got my stuff from R slash teachers. Do you ever worry about the BS we're telling kids? Middle school custodian here.

So already. This is the funniest part about this to me. that the custodian is walking on to teachers. He's got to get his two sentence. Especially what he has to say. I'm not going to read the whole thing, but middle school custodian here.

Every class of my clean is simply chock full of inspirational posters, about half of which contain pure unadulterated BS. I'm always tempted to put an asterisk after the message and add a disclaimer at the bottom. For instance, message,

you are awesome slash amazing slash important, etc. Disclaimer. Actually, you're not. Very few people are awesome, amazing, important, et cetera. age 13. Very few. Not none. Very few. Not none.

Yeah. Probably you're a very average 13 year old who spends a lot of time playing video games and touching yourself. If you work hard or unusually talented, you make her up to be awesome, amazing, important, et cetera. Although once again, odds are that you'll become a very average adult, just like most of us. And then the rest is all just stuff like this. But it's just really funny to be the custodian who was just being pissed off all day walking around. These fucking kids. Yeah. It's also, yeah, of course. They think they're so great. Yeah, they're probably just going to grow up to be a fucking a loser like

loser like that's awesome that he decided to take it all the way to the top to the teachers to post some janitor that's unhappy enough in his life that he goes on this website to complain about posters

I think I'll listen to his advice man yeah a student knows where I live please help Today, as I was coming back from the grocery store, as I was unlocking my apartment door, I hear Mr. S, and I look over and I see one of my students who I'll call J. The Joker. He's been a bit of a problem student for a while, always interrupting class and making inappropriate comments. I've given him several writers before. Turns out he lives in the same apartment building I do. I am freaked out now. The kid knows where I live. What if he, like, robs me or burns my room down or I step outside to find my car smashed? Edit, thank you everyone for your comments. I guess I'm just freaked out from the stuff I see online

of kids like tackling teachers and beating them up and stuff. This is the biggest like twig loser teacher of all time. That's what like everybody on this is like. This is like a Ned's Declassified teacher that's like a substitute called like Mr. Wimp. Yeah, this is actually one of the fucking anchovies for SpongeBob with a bow tie on.

What if they destroy my car? I wrote them up for being. And also he's, like, watching videos. He's a teacher. He's watching videos. He's getting beaten up. Yeah, teachers getting beat up and tackled by students.

This is like how they. That's his full algorithm. He's in like the most like crazy version of like a like, like, uh, like, uh, like, uh, I post crash outs. Yeah. This is like, this is like, this is like, fucking the shit beat out of them. Come check me out.

This is like cops that watch like drunken DUI. Like, like girl, girl gets pulled over. Yeah. Just so they can comment like, oh my God. These are these fucking morons. It's like cops that watch videos of like MS-13 killing people. And they go like, oh my, what the fuck? I have to deal with that every day.

Here's another wimp teacher. Why are kids so unnecessarily cruel? I've been on maternity leave for about a month now and I decided to give my students an update since they hadn't heard from me since I left. I emailed them about having the baby, shared his name, and included a few pictures of him. Most of my students replied with kind congratulations,

which was heartwarming. However, one student's response caught me. F. Guard. He said, he looks like grew from despicable me. I couldn't help but feel hurt by his comment, especially since I had only taught a student for three weeks before my leave. Maybe it's just a sense of humor and I just don't know him well enough yet. But it left me wondering why kids can be so insensitive and unnecessarily cruel at times. I do exactly where it was going. This is a ninth grader, by the way, which is really sad. Yeah. I knew exactly where that was going to. The kid would, like, emailing, like,

look like grew. Yeah, I know. It's so awesome. E-mailing your class. You're not even there. Yeah, why email the class? Of course. Yeah.

The kids don't care. Yeah. Here's one. Oh, wait, I just closed him back. A clever costume. A kid came to middle school today in a white body suit, a white skull cap, a white painted face, and had a long,

skinny white tail. If you asked him what he was, he said, Michael Phelps, as in a great swimmer. He came dressed as a sperm. Oh, my God. A kid went to school dressed as a sperm. All right.

That is... That's actually... What is their problem with that? No, they liked it. They put laughing emojis. All right. Because it's not against any school... This is a conversation

we've been having actually very recently that we're not going to go into too much. But sperms are medical. They're scientific. They're not sexual at all. They're not sexual at all. This is an okay thing. In the comments right now, won't get...

And unfortunately this was on Halloween, but I would really wish that it was a really great. A really great thing to do on the first day of school. I'm the sperm kid at school. I walk in a class. I'm dressed like a sperm. A new teen trend. Intentionally hitting people with a car, according to police. A pregnant teacher was hit and killed last month. And last night, a 16 year old hit two as they were running away. San Jose, California. What's going on with kids? Not the top comment is Fahrenheit 451 has arrived Wait, what? How is that? What is that? Fahrenheit 451 is about teens intentionally hitting people with cars, right?

Yeah, well, that's probably, yeah, 451 miles an hour. Driving a Fahrenheit, which is a kind of German car. A new teen trend intentionally hitting people with a car. Maybe I haven't read it in years, but that's got to be like,

you know, like when your uncle makes a reference to something and everyone just like presses him on it it. It's like well oh it's like oh I thought that was I thought you guys knew like that's got to be there's got to be something in the book that we're just forgetting. Yeah.

Because it's most of the book is about burning the books right? Yeah. Well that's the broad. Yeah but is there like some news story that like I don't know I don't think it has anything to do with teens hitting people. I think there was also a couple

of teens who ran over and killed a man on a bicycle in Las Vegas. They filmed it for TikTok and then laughed and flipped off the family of the man they killed in court. These kids are complete lost causes. I swear. Just fucking kill these kids. I'm just imagining him reading Christine. This is a horrible trend. Can we end to this trend

once and for all? First, so here's the trends, my least favorite trends of all time. I'm going to have to put this at number two. This goes between the dab and planking. Yeah. Yeah. I've just pure. Which is top. Yeah, which is worse. Oh, planking is the worst. And then I would say killing people with your car and flipping off the family in court after you've murdered their family. One of the worst trends in recent memories.

That's a bad trend, but the dab is right up on its tail. Yeah, coming close. But at least we, you know, at least we got rid of the dab. People aren't dead. This trend, we just won't stop. This will fade away. It's just a fucking fad. I jokingly told one of my students her computer had AIDS.

Oh my God, I just remember the thing. She thought it was hilarious. Seventh grade, by the way, but was it inappropriate? I usually refrained from joking too much, but I mean, I don't know. It was an off-guard moment, and I'm low-key ashamed of myself a bit because, I mean, we always tell them some things are not funny, especially diseases, which have devastated an entire community of nations, but like, yeah. Okay, let's, let me be the kid. Uh-huh. Okay, and you are the teacher, sure, yeah.

Um, uh, Mr. Fetter. Your computer. There's something wrong with my computer. Your computer has AIDS. And I'm the janitor. and I'm Hello Hey

can you go tell somebody Can you go tell somebody I can't know Because the Mr. Fedder just told me My computer has AIDS You said what now Your computer has AIDS

Okay then I'll stop having sex with it That's a good idea Your computer has AIDS Yeah I was having sex with my computer And then he told me Why would you tell a student that Oh it's a fucking piece of shit You're about to see what a real man does

You're about to see what a real man does to one of these pieces of shit where they're a piece of shit like this no get over here Mr. Doran we call we called

janitor's mister at this school we're one of those you definitely can't get away with saying that a computer has fucking a I've got my broom it was an off guard moment

okay you caught me off guard yeah I was sitting here at my desk I didn't expect you to be here I'm about to catch you off guard again

this is what we should do to these teachers because we need this last one here I have Sorry, we need a janitor in every single classroom like a U.S. Marshal on a plane. I agree, yeah, to take agree. And this is because this is a teacher going completely mask off. This is what they really believe.

Anyone else love the trunch bowl from Matilda. Oh, fuck this shit. As a kid, the trunch bowl was the ultimate villain of a movie. But after teaching for eight years and dealing with jackass students, she is my hero. I would love to have a principal the students feared. The threat of do you need to go to the office would actually work. and more learning could take place. This is like when your history teacher is like,

yeah, I've read MindConf. Yeah, it's worse. It's worse, though. It's like him saying like, 10 times worse. And yeah, I wish we had, I wish I had my own Hitler that I served under. Yeah, I wish that there was a Hitler that I could look up to.

And this, and they continue to go mask off. I wish Hitler was real. That's what he's basically saying. They continue to go mask off. This is what somebody says. Somebody says, okay, but she bullied the teachers as well.

No, thank you. Yeah. So we're fine with the choke. We're fine with Bruce Bogtrotter. We're fine with swinging. The Bogtrotter incident was spoken about for years to come. Swinging around, swinging around by the pigtails. But the second that the trunch bull says,

hey, teachers, you need to get back to work. Why didn't Matilda, like, boil her blood and make her eyes pop out of her head? She should have had, like... Yeah, she should have had a more of a carry moment. Yeah, she should, like, it ended a carry. Oh, oh. Like, Matilda should have killed this bit. What's that?

What's Morrow McCary? But I just wasn't listening. Yeah, but Tilda should have like, should have like... What is it? The golden cat? She crumpled her into like a fucking cube. Or what's the golden bowl? The brazen bowl.

Brazen bowl. She should have done a brazen bowl. Well, she doesn't need to have a brazen bowl. Trunchable. She should have done a brazen bowl. That's what the choky was, wasn't it? Trengeble should have done a raisin bowl for breakfast instead of 30 donuts. No, she was probably having pancakes. She did eat a lot of donuts.

But here's my idea. And those wormwoods did. to clean up their act as well. Shady business practices. Get this sawdust out of the gas tank and stop messing with the odometer. And don't think that I'm not seeing you use the drill on the odometer.

That's what I'm saying. And that's really against the rules. No, that's illegal. You're going to, and the people you sell this car to, they're going to go to get their car inspected. Because everyone focuses on Trunch Bowl. They said that's because it's obvious. Yep.

They say, uh, stop with the cakes with the bog trotter. The bog trotter fiasco was just. Just that a fiasco. But the wormwoods, they were allowed to continue their offer. And Mrs. Wormwood, just age gracefully. Stop holding on your youth like that. Please, please, please. It's embarrassing.

And guys, make some real food instead of the TV dinners. Yes, the TV dinner. And don't eat TV. And don't eat dinner in front of the television. Spend time as a family. Yes. Do they say the brother's name? I don't even know if they say his name.

Frederico. Eat the carrot. Eat the carrot, Frederico. Just eat the carrot. Don't make Matilda throw it in your mouth for you. I think the wormwoods are kind of almost like I mean if we're bringing back trunch ball equating

trunch bull to Hitler which is she's worse she's worse in many ways way worse the the wormwoods are almost like the operation paper clip where they're kind of peddled off on the rest of the unsuspecting they went to Fiji they continued to reproduce and just create a whole

clan of when are we going to get that did we is there a prestige reboot thing following them called the wormwoods or something oh should well they did a Matilda musical recently. That's quite acclaimed. A claim? Is it a sequel? I think it's just a musical

version of Matilda. But everyone is all saying it's good. We should go see it. I don't know if it's my idea. Here was my idea for what Matilda could have done. Brazen Bowl, right? She duplicates trunchable with her mind. One that's

larger. Sorry, I've been sitting on this for the past couple of minutes. She duplicates trunchable with her mind. It's like bigger one. How does that look? So imagine a trunch bowl that's probably like maybe what was she like five foot seven five foot nine. She's even big as fun. Yeah. So imagine one that is like 12 foot three or something like that. She's going to make a bigger trench bowl? Why would she do? Why on earth would she do that? But it's completely made out of brass like the raisin bull. Okay. So she puts

the trunch bull inside the brazen trunch bowl. Okay. Boils her alive. She says at the of the book. The choky, the, I'm going to do the choky to you. I'm going to do the choky to you. What's the name of that librarian in those movies? Miss Honey. Miss Honey. Is she a librarian or teacher?

She was a teacher. Yeah, she was the teacher that adopts. And she lives in a house made of flowers. She does live in a house made of flowers. You got to think the house like that needs a lot of maintenance and it's not, it's going to be Matilda doing that work. Oh, yeah. Oh, I didn't even think about that.

She's going to have chores to do. She's going to have chores to do it with her mind. Oh, my God. You know what? She spent her whole life living with the world. Wormwoods. And she was like, oh my God, my life is hell. I'm being tortured worse than anyone could ever have been tortured. I have to. Yeah, she's like, but they're whipping me. They're making me do evil tricks at the car

dealership. And they're making me take out the trash and they're making me clean my clear my place from the table. And they're making me go to Miss Honey. And she's going to go to Miss Honey and Miss Honey's going to make her take out the trash. Torture. She's going to get PTSD. She's going to kill Miss Honey. It's the same ending as midsummer. I don't remember. She joins the cult So you're kind of stuck still with Well the ending of Midsummer that I'm thinking of

Is where the guy goes put into the big bear And he gets burned Which is kind of your brazen bull idea It's kind of my brazen bull idea But Florence Pugh is smiling Even though she's still got to do chores for Miss Honey That's true She probably will have to do chores for the cult

Yeah for the Midsomer cult Exactly Same exact ending bro She's got to do chores for Miss Honey now Based on Matilda wasn't it And the more I'm thinking about it The less that's true but what part of it is not true

I like that movie at all M. M. Summer. Main character who is just like has, or both end in R. Main character. That's true. Both the names of the movies end in R. Matilda?

Yeah. Yeah. But Trunch Bowl is almost you could cut, or the school is like the cult. Trunch Bull is like whoever the leader was. Oh, that old guy. guy, the guy who falls off

and breaks open. That's not like trunchable? No, that's like the girl with the pig tails. She's basically one of the old people that falls off the cliff. When they're all having sex with the guy, that's like the cake. It's like having you have to eat all the cake. You have to have all... He has to eat all the cake and then... What about the cafeteria lady? Who's that?

Remember there's that one guy who has the crazy disfigured face and they put him in the trailer so much that we all thought he was going to be the villain. It turns out he just was in it for five seconds. Turns out the villain is basically just what grass? They invented him for the trailer to try and make the movie look excited. Yeah.

Pull up the guy. Disfigured freak from mid-Somar. They literally, I would go to bat for this theory that they made this guy for the trailer to make people go see the movie. I think they made all the scenes in the movie just to make people go see it. Oh, this guy. Oh, I used to call him Kissy Face. Yeah. Yeah, now I know you're talking about kissing face.

But he was barely in the movie. Yeah, I don't even remember him. They literally only made him just to draw people in. And to call him kissy face. Yeah. To credit him as kissy face. The Ewox. The Ewox were around a lot.

No, they made two more. Name one of the ones that was made for toys. Made one of the ones that were made for toys. You know, there's many Star Wars characters that were just made for toys, correct? Yeah, the porgs. The porgs. The porgs. The porgs.

The Ewarks, though. He was like a porous. He was at their own. Yeah, I know. I was just to. I don't know. I don't know. I was just their shorthand.

Chill on them. The porgs are the new ones. The porges are cute. I have no problem with the porons. I have two. I have to cut only like two things to close out of pro-teacher. This is from Who's Your Bond? This is a guy that said,

behavior of students is out of control and has been out of control for a long time. When I was a kid, I never would have dreamed of speaking to an adult like kids these days. Disrespect is par for the course. And there seems to be no reversing the trend. but maybe there is a way, a way back to how it used to be, just maybe. And then he posted a picture of a McDonald's from 1983 that has hamburger chairs. Oh, cool.

That would fix classrooms. This is a return teacher? This is a return teacher. And all the replies are, I don't understand the McDonald's meme. I really don't understand the McDonald's meme. And then one person, I crazy teach. so this is one person who's your bond and I Crazy Teach these are these are

two types of teacher here I Crazy Teach says McDonald's used to be magical now it's sad and gray it's true and then I tried to I tried to what's the word here I'm looking for

I tried to I tried to do a prank on the teachers you tried to Gonzo journalism I tried to Gonzo journalism by pretending to be a teacher Yeah, I saw it when I walked in. Yeah, you saw it. I got the email notification. You got the email notification every time.

What's the name? The name of the, the username was Josh Kalis. What? Dude, why are you signing up for this shit on the podcast email? I don't know. I don't want to use my email. So you should use the one that goes to all. This is, again, we come back and we're getting drawn back in.

This is all the same principle. It's the same principle every time. Yeah, but now we all have an account. Fuck you, bro. I don't want to. that shit on my phone. You don't want a teacher account? We're going to get these emails forever and you don't have notifications on. I know it. Oh, you guys have, you're getting notifications on that? Of course, because we have to, we have to maintain the account. Oh,

yeah. All right. Well, the username was Josh Kalis. Uh-huh. Just a guy, just a name that I thought of. Uh, and the post was, would it be okay to bring a swarma spinner into my classroom? It's a good idea. It's a good idea. I said, title pretty much says all. I'm new to this forum and I'm a hobbyist home chef. I just got an optimal auto donor. Admit he's a home chef. Whoa. I had home chef on the brain.

You got it on right now. And if anyone doesn't know what that means, I think that was on a Patreon. Yeah, there's a Patreon. Subscribe. The home chef. I just got an optimal auto donor G-500 and I looked up Schwarm a spinner. I looked up what I was doing. Can I see what that would look? Can you pull up a picture of that?

The optimal auto donor donor, D-O-N-R. A donor. G-500. Yeah. G, that sounds so fucking high-tech and cool. Sounds expensive. Whatever this is, I'm going to lock in in right now. It's a Decepticon. Yeah, it's pretty much a Decepticon.

It's going to be a... Yeah, that's a Decepticon for sure. Yeah, that's like a... That is cool, though. It's a commercial Schwarma spinner. I think it holds up to 85 pounds. Oh, Jesus Christ, you'd be bringing that into your... Kind of weak for a Decepticon.

I got an optimal auto donor from a buddy of mine who just recently had to close his business. I think it would be really fun for everyone in my class to have an event that I'm thinking about calling Shwarmus September. Before I bring the idea into the teacher I'm co-teaching with, I figured I'd ask this forum for advice, especially since I've been told that I should probably run ideas by others first. Thanks

to it fair. And I think that no, I didn't get any response. Wow, that's funny. Yeah, I'm bummed about that. I wanted to come in with a whole thing about like, I was like, oh, like, why are you asking us? You should definitely ask her first. Like, wait a minute. I just looked up that swarma spinner. That's an 85 pound shwarmus spinner. And it's really nice as fuck. You probably should. I wish Swarmus September would be a real

thing. Former September sounds great. It does sound right. Yeah. All right. I mean, why? You watch your show this month? I have no shows this month. What is it? September? September. I don't think we got anything this month. All right. Well, uh, so far.

Guys, go read the four brag cartel. Yeah, I haven't read it yet. Cool book, man. Definitely interested in reading. Check that out. What other recommendations do I have? Go buy a new TV. Oh, yeah. I'll say that shit for beers we drank.

But yeah, go buy a new TV, y'all. Yeah, just check out everything that seems interesting to you and report back. Get a new TV and watch death on the Nile. You watch Death on the Nile? The fucking, wait, is that the Galgado? Yeah. Oh, my God. You have the worst taste of movies, bro.

Hercules. No, dude, no. Hercules, Porro. Agatha Christie, guys. What did she say that? She's like, The biggest boat in denial. Yeah.

Enough champagne to fill denial. To feel denial. Yeah, she's an amazing actor. She is not. She's not magical in that movie. It's a really a performance you don't want to miss. Go check out death on the Nile. And the haunting in Venice.

You've been watching the series. Over the last five years, I've watched, well, actually, 10 years. Is there only two of them? There's three. Oh, yeah, there's the Orient Express, which I saw in theaters 10 years ago.

I was like, this movie sucks. And then I saw Haunting in Venice and I actually liked it. I heard that one was good from someone else as well. And then I watched Death on the Nile and it was trashed.

But it, and it looked terrible also. It's like one of the ugliest movies. Yeah, I've seen some clips from that one. That's her and Henry Cavill? No, man. No, it's, what's his name? Army Hammer. Army Hammer's in it,

but the lead is, Hercu Poirotro is the fucking motherfucker from Harry Potter to. Kenneth Brana? Kenneth Brana. Yes. Yeah. Is he also the one who's in Tenet? I didn't see Tenet. Or is that my thing of a different guy? I didn't see Tenet, man.

You got a new TV. You haven't watched fucking Tenet yet? I did watch the interstellar docking scene, though. Watch Tenet, bro. Dude, it's long. You should watch. It's not even that long. Freak, Screensaver, 4K, fish. I have been watching mostly shit like that. Those are great videos. It's so when I, when I learned.

that my parents, like, when, like, they were first marketing 60 frames per second TV stuff, and like 4K UHD, I was pulling YouTube videos up like that and just watching them, just going like, looks the fucking same. Dude, new TVs are awesome.

All right. All right. Bye. I don't really fry chicken that much. Okay, well. I used to, when I was a kid, when I was a kid. You and you were a child, you'd fry chicken. So, okay, also, A toilet bowl.

Crazy thing, crazy thing my dad had. My dad had a fry later deep friar, like the, you know, the basket with like the, you know, twist the knob. Oh, yeah. And then the light turns off. That's when you put the chicken down. A lot of dads have fallen for those. That was how I learned how to cook everything.

And that's why when I went to the doctor two or three years ago, they were like, you're, you have the cholesterol of an older man. You used to just deep fry food by yourself when you were. When I was 11 years old, my dad taught me how to use it. it and then I was making like he was like oh yeah this is called an egg wash this is what you put so then I was just like thawing chicken out of the freezer and then I would make myself like when I was bored

I would make myself fried chicken and then I would leave the kitchen one time my mom K I remember I was like staying home from school I was like pretend to be sick and I watched all I was watching flight of the concords and making fight of the chicken

and I remember my mom I'm freaking the fuck out because I don't think... One, I don't think she's ever seen me use the deep fryer. And then two, she, like, I got, like, flour and eggwash everywhere. Oh, yeah, that's a messy meal. Yeah, it was incredibly messy. It was something an 11-year-old should not have been making.

But I did it, and then she unplugged it and was like, you... Stop doing this! You're making a fucking mess! It was like a huge, huge scream. I think I'd be pretty mad if my son was frying food every single day. Your son should not be frying food every day, but I didn't... They didn't trust me at the stove. But you've always just had this kind of thing with food, with home-cooked food,

where sometimes I would come over to your apartment in, like, college, and I'd be like, what are you doing? And you'd be like, I'm making jalapeno poppers. I would never make jalapeno poppers.