Podcast About List - Ep. 357 - Skeleton Crew

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

Hi guys I'm doing everything today so if it sucks don't worry Jubio will be back soon and if it's good then I'm lying and Jubio did all this stuff -CFSubscribe to us on YouTube ⁠youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList⁠Buy tickets to our latest live show ⁠https://www.swagpoop.com/shows⁠ Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at ⁠https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist⁠Follow us ⁠https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Okay. It's just us. It's just us. We've come up with two names for this. This is the skeleton crew slash the Just Us League. Just Us League. Yeah, we have two vacationeers. Uh-huh. We have Caleb and Julio both have

Decided to abandon us. They've flown the coop. Where are they, respectively? Let's see. I actually have no idea where Caleb is. Geographically, he could literally be in Antarctica for all I know. It's just music. But both of us were, see, we don't have.

Dude, it sounded like, it sounded like a music box from like a horror movie. It sounded like a music box from a horror movie for a second. And I was like, okay, we're about to get saw trapped right now. Yeah. Well, right now, I'll say this. The guardrails are. off. Fatality.

That's the wrong button. I hit the wrong. I was supposed to hit this. Yeah. Will you turn my headphones up a little bit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the smallest bit. Thank you.

Is that good? Yeah, that's good. Great. And Julio is in, uh, where is it? Oh, well, he's in Mexico. He's in Mexico. Yeah. Yeah, somewhere there.

Dude, he's on vacation in Mexico. Yeah. Caleb is, what, he's just decided to take the week off. He basically, he texted me and Patrick and he said, I'm going to hell. And he said, I'm passing away and going to hell. Well. Goodbye, bitch. It's us now.

Today, guys, I'm manning the, well, we've not, I can't get the camera switcher to work in this. There's too many wires, but I am manning the computer switcher. So I can do stuff like I could go on Google and search, where is Julio? Yeah, and we can pull that up. And I can just go ahead and pull it up. Whoa, where is Julio's power? that's a good question where is Julio's power

where does it say that right there the third or the fourth one the fourth one in we have this awesome slow low resolution laggy it's just great

so explain how we're doing the show today your system well it's just us basically the system is that I decided to take care of the computer stuff

for today and I have bestowed upon Patrick the soundboard Patrick is finally in charge of the soundboard people have asked for it people have been saying the soundboard has been less prevalent

in the past couple years the last year not couple years and there's one solution to that there's one simple solution and beyond that I don't have much of a system I'm going to be honest with you that was a bad drop there

I wish I put a better sound just I was just thinking about how we need a here's what I say to my sound board yeah see that's good. I, I, I, I have, we haven't added any new sounds or switch anything around a while. We still have, what do we have in here? This has not been changed for a while. From the five fingers. Yeah. Though that is old.

This one can stay, but also do-hicky type beat is still on here. This has been on here. They've all been on there for a while. Yeah. But it's not the, uh, end of the world. I have a few old sounds. No, no. And some would even say that it's nostalgic to hear things like that. Stuff like... I saw a ghost. That one's good.

That one can stay for sure. I like that one. Uh-huh. You know, it's a really good one that we'd never use? The war rages on. Wow, I forgot I made all of these stuff. There's so much good stuff in here that we just don't talk. I mean, the problem is that there's not enough pads for the amount of sounds.

There's only eight pads. We need to get one of those ones that's fucking 10 by 10, a sound on each. Just in like an Akai sampler or whatever. Yeah, and maybe make some music with it as well. Yeah, because we can make a song out of this. Yeah. Catch up. See, that actually sounded good.

I know you were doing it as a joke for a second, but I could actually hear that in a song on the radio. I feel. Yeah. You think so? Yeah, maybe in, like, 300 years. This is what music's in a sound. like in 300 years. I saw a ghost.

Yeah, it sends a shivered on your spine when you hear that, that one. Yeah. What are you got going on? Last night, I was fleeced. You were fleeced? Oh, yeah, you just spoke on this. Well, I would, if it were me, I would say I had been charitable.

I was charitable, but not through means that I wanted to be. I would have So a homeless man asked me To buy him soap and paper towels And I did What's he needs paper towels for So he can return them Well okay

This is what I learned I learned this was a common scam From Reddit Soap I understand Because I was like why that Hey I'd buy a homeless guy soap But yeah And look look

I love homeless guys Yeah And I don't want them to suffer At all But I'm still But that said If a homeless guy says Hey man

Will you buy me a roll of paper towels Yeah And say what the fuck Do you need paper? Are you wiping up a spill in your kitchen? It was such an odd request. And look, I'm the most fleecible guy.

Sure. I'm easily susceptible to scams. You don't have the keep walking. No. Well, I was standing out. So I was leaving. We were leaving our friend's birthday. Uh-huh.

And I was leaving and I saw our friend Noah Colwin from Blowback. Sure. On the street. And I was talking to him. I haven't seen him in a while. So I was catching up. I was saying like, oh, what do you got going on? He said, oh, blowback.

comes out tomorrow. So a little bit of inside baseball stuff. Yeah. So you actually knew there was going to be a new blowback before it even came out. Yeah. Wow. This is what us podcasters talk about behind the scenes. It's mainly, yeah, this is like, you know, this is kind of like our version of the green room hang.

Uh-huh. Where it's like, we say, oh, when's your next episode coming out? I'm like, uh, Wednesday. Yeah. Yeah. What about you? Oh, Tuesday. Oh, Tuesday.

Yeah. Oh, I got to go home and export the live D&D. Yeah. Oh, and then the next episode will come out in the week after that. Yeah. Yeah. That's typically what we talk about. See, now you get a peek behind.

You won't get this one, Caleb and Julio review. That is why we had to move to New York. Yeah. Because without that, we can't say this stuff. No. In Boston, you try that and someone goes, Um, what,

I'm on my way to get some chowder. Mm-hmm. I'm going to the, I'm going to the bar. I'm going to the, I have to park my car. I'm in Harvard Yard. I'm in Harvard Yard.

Yeah. Who the fuck is calling me? Probably Caleb. Probably Caleb singing. misses us. Oh. You have to take it? No.

No. I'm recording. Wait, send her this. Okay, I will. One second. As soon as I can figure out to work this damn thing. She's going to love that.

She's really going to like that. Anyway, I'm talking to him about this. This guy comes up to us and says like, excuse me, can I just say something? You guys have what I call the natural wonder

of the world was that the fucking pyramids and I was like what do you mean by that he's like just look at your hair guys I can tell

that you guys don't use any product and it always looks naturally good yeah he said dude it's it's are you guys Italians

and I said we're like no we're not Italians he's like wow dude the Italians and black people have the best hair

and us I was like oh all right man and he's sitting there talking and then he says like listen I'm like you know I just need soap really bad because the detergent that they use

at the shelter is really like like bad and I'm like fuck it man I'll buy you soap and I looked up soap scam because I was like this was such an odd request

you know you should have you should have said you should have been like sure man I'll buy you soap just one second okay Siri search soap scam homeless person which

Just one second, man. One second. Yeah. I don't think I'm a good person for looking that up. I don't care that I was, I lost the money. I don't care about that. What I care about is I, uh, the honesty. Yeah. The honesty is, I mean, it's a breach.

Yeah. Uh, I would have given him money if you just said, can I have money? Well, let me ask. You bought soap and paper towels. Yeah. What were the brands? It was, dude, it was a goat milk soap. He picked goat milk, he picked goat milk soap.

Yeah. It was an $8 soap. I mean, he deserves it, sure. But listen, I'm not by myself goat milk soap. No, no, no, no, no. I told him, I picked up the activated charcoal one, too, and I was like, you want this one? My girlfriend likes this one.

Dude, and don't tell me he went straight for the brawny. He went for the bounties, dude. Oh. He went for the bounties. And I was like, dude, he was fucking scamming you. Yeah, he was scamming me. Do I wish that he just asked me for $15? instead of me paying for $15.

That is a funny scam. Yeah. I'm like, you know, I was drunk enough that I was like, fuck it, side quest, I'm doing this.

Yeah. I'm buying this homeless guy soap and paper towels. I'm going to fucking do it. And then I was like, $15 is a lot. I wonder, I wonder if he was fleecing me.

Uh-huh. And then sure enough, probably was. Well, at the end of the day, you still gave a homeless guy $15. I don't think that's anything to be ashamed of.

Yeah, I'm not, upset about it again the scam is really a scam of optics yeah he just really he doesn't want to look like a jerk yeah he wants to look like he wants to oh yeah yeah and look i get it i get it completely did do i wish that i just gave money instead of buying so dude what you don't understand is the actual scam that he pulled on you was the specific items that he picked out were actually extremely rare collectors editions of those ones that were mistakenly listed at the price in the store and he's going to relist them on eBay

and make like $5,000. He's selling paper towels for fucking the bounty vintage paper towels in 1997. Miss print bounty logo. It says Bruntie. Yeah.

It says Brunty. No, wait, they got Bronte? What the hell is Brunty? I don't know what the hell that is. It's so funny that misprints are worth so much money. Yeah. Well, the coin misprints are really cool. Have you seen those?

I think all misprints are kind of cool, but I still don't think I would ever pay money for a misprint. No, no, I'm not. Unless it says something funny. Yeah. Unless it's a misprint where it says like fuck you. Yeah. Pending one cent. Fuck you. Yeah. Like in the corner. It was a misspick. To fix your A. A. Blankin. And it says, fuck you. I'm A. Blinken. Why do we have this mold? Why do we

have this mold here? The guy messed up. I don't know what to tell you. What the hell? We shouldn't be pressing that. Why do we have blinking with the middle finger. But they have, like, pennies that, uh, they accidentally print like over, um, like it's like a U.S. Mint thing. Uh-huh. And then they accidentally print like the U.S. Mint logo onto the front of the penny, but it's in like an oblong way.

It looks like it went through the penny pusher. Yeah, yeah. It looks like that. Dude, I always see, I always see trading card misprints. Yeah. The, uh, like magic the gathering misprints and stuff. Yeah. And those ones are literally just that it's like, you know, they print those cards on like a huge

sheet and then like cut them apart so the misprints are just like that the printer was like misaligned or like the cut was like misaligned by like a millimeter so it's literally just that like it's like a card where you can see the edge of another card on it it just looks a little bootleg people pay so much fucking money for those it's crazy yeah dude i fucking speaking of uh well this is yugo this is a different dude it's all the same to me speaking of cards yeah uh there was uh my neighbors growing up uh they their mom was like dating this guy and like his kids came over and uh they had like they we were playing like ugeo and they had the thing oh the disc the dude yeah the dual disc yeah we both had them they brought theirs i had mine

and i was like dude we're gonna fucking duel and i remember uh this kid like pulled out his deck and then like he started playing his cards and he pulled out it was like all the pieces of but he had just taken other Yu-Gi-O cards and colored them out and then printed out the pictures onto the thing and like taped up so his cards were covered in tape. And I was like, why? No, that's not, you can't do that. You can't do that. These cards aren't even real.

And he was like, yeah, they are. Yeah, they are. These are rare. My dad got them in Japan. I was like, there's no way. There's no way that these are real pieces of Exodia. And then, like, you know when, like, it's like a new kid is around or like, like, there's like that feeling when you're a kid that like somebody here is new in like the friend group. Uh-huh. And like, I don't know how to explain this. Like there's a new kid there and I'm just, I'm repeating myself. Hold on, hold on. I'm in a thought loop.

like you don't want to get in trouble like you think that he's like has some kind of a shield around him sure yeah because he's a new kid yeah you're not trying exactly he's got this new kid force field that he has because it's his first day here yeah his first day in the crew yeah of children that you hang out with

in your neighborhood yeah and also his dad is dating your friend's mom uh huh so it's going to be like well yeah we all know that yeah we've all been there yeah we all know this. Yeah.

His dad is dating your friend's mom and you think that if you say anything, you're going to get in trouble and told to go home. Right. You're going to get in timeout in three separate families. Uh-huh. Yeah, dude. His dad, fucking,

my friend's mom and your family. And then my family because they're all going to conspire together and put you in the dungeon. Yeah. And pull you apart. Yeah. They're going to rip me to fucking ribbons. They're going to take you down. Uh-huh.

Well, I didn't say anything about his exodus. You didn't speak up and you let him run rampant across this group and torture the group with his fake Yu-Giote. And he was also annoying as fuck. He had really big eyes. That's going to play on repeat in your head when you're getting taken into the afterlife. They're going to say

you could go to heaven, but you didn't stop the suffering of your friends by calling out these fake exodias. You didn't say that Nick's cards were fake. I did. I tried. No. No. You did not. It doesn't count. It's only what you did. This is God saying. Okay.

Is it? Oh, wait. Am I supposed to say something? Hold on. Who? So they're numbered by the... Yeah, that one... That was a... That was a misclick. Hold up.

The effects are kind of complicated. The effects are so complicated, because this is an echo for one input. Yeah, each effect is input-based. So if you pick one and then you select, if you actually tap on the effect, you can change who's input-ed effects, I think. Okay.

But it's needlessly... There we go. Wow. Okay. This is God. this is a Hold on, hold on, I fucked up. I fucked up, I fucked up.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh my God. Okay, yeah. All right, this is God telling me that I should have. You should have told him about that cards. Or you needed to tell everyone. It was worth it, man. It was really worth that.

It was worth that. It was worth doing all that. Dude. Yeah, they need to basically make a magic thing of this where it's magic and it just reads your thoughts. Thoughts. It sounds really good when it gets cut off really fast like that. Yeah, I do like that a lot. When I was a kid, there was like, do you remember like, I don't know if it was actually, if it was continued, it probably wasn't continuous. It was probably a relaunch. But there was a mad magazine that was around when we were kids that was like a new, like an updated version for kids. of our generation. It wasn't mad kids? Yeah, they had mad kids.

I remember. It was probably that. And I was, I got one that had, I begged to buy the grocery store because it had a parody of Yu-Gi-O in it. And it included in the middle, in like, the centerful, it included like parody Yu-Gi-O cards that you could cut out. And I had those. And I thought those was the funniest things ever.

I don't even remember what they were. That in wacky packages? Dude, wacky packages was on another level. Such a bad kid item to have. It really was. And when you think about it, wacky packages was just completely capitalistic. Yeah.

It was completely capitalistic. It should not have been packages. It should have been fruits and vegetables. That's my... I wish it was wacky fruits and veggies. Just like things that we should be... Gross grape. It's a grape going like this.

Banana with a butt. But nana. But nana. Yeah. Strawberry, but it's a straw that was outside for too long. Straw, feel it like corn or, or straw, not like corn, like field of straw. Straw for drinking corn. Straw for drinking corn.

Straw for drinking the liquid out of a corn kernel. This is what, this is they? Oh, wow. Who's that in the bottom there? This is big. Who is that? I don't know if that is. Oh, it looks like they did Pokemon too.

Psycho. Pukymon. Pukymon. I do really like Pukymon as a name. I think this is a real Yu-Gi-O-Card. This one, I thought, this from the art, I thought this was a madman, but Yu-Gi-Oh, that's a tune, ain't it? It's fucking Obama. Oh, this is not this

mad-this-this-this-man, this is not Mad Magazine. These, I think, are different ones. But why are they all called Yugi and oh the thing? Hold on. Yugi-O-Pra. They're all called Yugi-O-Pra, Yuki-O-J. I know, this is not what you... That's fucking lazy. Y-O-O-Py and Anthony.

Oh, come on now. The ink-stained wretch. The ink-stained wretch. Who is this? The ink-stained wretch. What a name that is. Oh, you can only, it's the world's best caricaturest according to Jason Chatfield. Oh, from New York cartoons.

Is this the guy who did The Mad Magazine? It looks like, it's him. This is the mad. This is what I had. Okay. Ravioli, Lord of Pantslessness. Dude, there was on the. wait that's cool

the random style and look at all the stars superior sheriff see that's fucking cool yeah that's fucking sick that's a good one right there moist cyber stain

you know I hate that word centurion so they're kind of making fun of how ridiculous you do is flying dork musician of pork chops he's a smellcaster

a smell caster this is not too far as soon as I saw this I was like, this is not too far off from the D&D we do. No, this is really. This is like literally, it's one to one. Yeah, it's one to one the Dungeons and Dragons campaigns we do. That is really crazy.

It has superior sheriff boss frog. Yeah. It has Morphine Char Char. Yeah. This is, it's insane how, it's insane how, uh, everything is cyclical. Yeah. Every time is a flat circle when you get, is that what that means? Uh, yeah, I think so. Wow.

Yeah, which all, by the way, Mr. Russ Cole, all fucking circles are flat. You fucking idiot. You fucking dumb-ass idiot. Stupid hick. When you get sick of playing this game, this card may be reading for a free shrimp cocktail

and any participating red lobster restaurant. I would literally, I would go nuts for that. It's a good idea for a thing. I love shrimp so much. I know you do. And we're just going to go into that someday. We're going to acknowledge it.

We're going to, we have, that's something that has to be acknowledged. Yeah. From time to time. Yeah. I said that I could eat 10 pounds of shrimp. Yeah. And we were going to do a challenge, but then everyone had bad schedules this month. It's going to happen.

It will happen. It's got to happen. There will be a challenge. There's going to be the eating challenge, the likes of which is all, will almost be too insane to be even captured the video. I, okay. I believe I could actually eat two pounds of shrimp by myself. Yeah, I think that's more I think I was being hyperbolic

When I originally said That I could eat 14 pounds of chicken And then I said No, I'm sorry, my bad I meant 10 pounds And then I was like, wait a minute I could eat 10 pounds of shrimp, not chicken Yeah

And I think I'm still right about that But dude, we'll find out We're gonna find out Divide that 10 by 2 I'm gonna eat 5 pounds Listen, I'll say this, and I'm done litigating it, not because I'm, like, sick of it, but because, like, it's time to put your money where your mouth is, and I want to see it. Put my money where the shrimp goes.

Put the shrimp where your mouth is. Yeah. My mouth. Put the money, or no. Does that make sense at all? Put the money where my shrimp goes. Put your shrimp. Put my money where my shrimp goes.

Well, yeah, your shrimp goes in your mouth, yeah. Put your money where your shrimp goes. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. That's a better adage. I just got my, I just got a real ID so I don't have to bring my damn passport to the planes anymore. Yeah. And I went, I just got it in the mail today. And it's a fucking, it's a fucking

learner's permit with a real ID. It pissed me off so bad. I was like, give me a, because I can't drive. I was like, give me a non-driver ID. I just want like a state ID. Yeah. It's a real ID. And I, that's what I filled out all this stuff for. But apparently I, since I, it's back now or? Well, no, I, it's still work. I mean, it still is a real ID. Yeah. But it just says learners permit. I don't want to get into a bar with it. It's a, like you go to a bar with a fucking learner's permit. Yeah.

I don't want to do that. No, it's embarrassing. I was considering just because, like, the, I don't want to go to the DMV so bad. Uh-huh. I don't want to go over there. But I was, I was considering just getting a fake ID. Instead of renewing it? A fake ID that says I'm like.

Do you even need to go to the DMV to renew it? Um, Can you not just renew it? I think I can. Like in by mail or like online? Yeah, but I don't live in New Hampshire anymore. I don't know that. Yeah, but wouldn't that like, wouldn't I have to file taxes in New Hampshire if I did that?

I don't know. Because I would have to do an address change too. I have no idea. Yeah. See, it's all bureaucratic bullshit that I'm averse to. It takes an hour and it costs $10. It's not a... Yeah.

But I think it's annoying. It's funnier to get a fake ID that says I'm nice. And you get to watch all the ads go on the fun facts on the DMV screen. The DMV screen where they put up, they say, come to window 25, number J26. And but then in between that, it will cut and it will be like, did you know, chicken fingers are one of the most delicious foods? And then it shows a picture of a chicken. I really love that, like, they do, they know the DMV is so bad that they had to, like, invent. Yeah, it's like a new, it's one of those things where it's like a channel that only a.

exists and they literally for the DMV. That's the job I want, bro. I want to write the fact for the DMV. DMV TV. This is our new business venture. Yeah. Ready?

We are the first. Uh-huh. We pitched this to DMV nationwide, right? Yeah. We put, uh, like, you know, it's like a, like they got the gas station TV already at Shell. They got Shell TV. Yeah. We're doing that.

But for the DMV. We're the anchors. Run. Or federally run. Run. World run in every DMV in the world. The entire world is going to see DMV TV. It's a good idea. They should have basically like a new V Maria Manunos that's always going with like actual people talking. We're reviewing different state licenses. Yeah. We're like, okay, so let's look here at the main ID. That's good. Dude, I could do that for 12 hours a day. Yeah. Just do a live stream. Well, you shoot that right. And then you just cut it up into 10 minutes. segments and then it loops and then you got like a fucking hour. Yeah. Or no, you have three hours of programming there. I would

do it as literally, I would do it live. I would have, we have a warehouse and we broadcast live to every DMV. It's such a good idea. And it's, you know what it is? It's like if you go on, if you go to the DMV like on a Wednesday, you can you can catch that. Everyone's going to want to go on a Wednesday. Right. Yeah. And then

it adds a whole new kind of dimension. It said well, it's going to be less crowded on the other days, but I really want to see DMV TV. Yeah, I really love DMV TV. TV's really good. Uh-huh. But then we get like, we become like Nicole Kidman's. Uh-huh.

For AMC. We become like Nicole Kidman's. Yeah. Where everybody fucking loves us. We get tapestries made of us and stuff. Can't wait to clap when they see us on the screen. Oh, dude. I just,

I'm just fucking good idea. We're hungry for fame. That's all. Yeah. Fucking hungry for fame and I don't care if it's only at the DMV. Dude, I saw, I saw Eric on the screen of the DMV. Yeah.

Dude of the paper. The paper, they said DMV. Mm-hmm. They said DMV. They said DMV on the screen. It said the paper has been renewed for a second season. Uh-huh. And that just, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Yeah. I didn't even know it. You're getting your license. I was getting the news there that it had happened. But apparently I told Caleb, I said, oh, wow, I just saw this on the DMV. He said, yeah, that happened like three months ago that it got renewed. That bastard. That's what I mean.

The DMV TV needs to be revitalized. Needs to be revitalized. They got old news. They got old news. They got old news. What they need. But when you saw, by the way, when you saw that the paper had been renewed at the DMV, was it like the war is over, like soldier kissing the girl on the street? Like people in the DMV were just going like, ha ha, yeah.

No, everyone actually in the DMV. Popping champagne in the back that they have. Well, everyone in the DMV, first of all, they recognized me, knew who I was and they knew that what podcast I would do. Yeah. And they also knew, they also know Eric and they knew that what podcast he does and they knew that he was in the paper. So when as soon as that came on the screen, almost everybody in the DMV like kind of looked at like was like kind of side of me to see how I would react. Like if I was going to like because if I started like clapping, they would probably be like, oh, it's cool. But like they kind of didn't want to piss me off in that way.

So and I kind of did this. This was my reaction. So like the screen said the paper will be coming back for season two and I was kind of like this. And I saw people kind of like relax like, oh, he's like, he's laughing. But then I was like this. Whoa. And then I knocked over a cup of water. Yeah, I mean, that happens all the time.

That happens all the time. And it was honestly an accident. Yeah, people in there are just like, well, this is the water spiller again. Yeah, but the war is not over. Oh, shit. I hit Echo. The war is not over. The war rages on.

Yes, the war rages on. And we will never, we will never lay down our swords. We will never turn. That's right. We'll never lay down our guns. and rifles. Nope. I've been really...

Not even on Christmas. We have the dumbest fucking soundboard all time. What's wrong with us? I don't know. I think we're actually really good. I've been imagining... I've been imagining a movie that I want to watch,

which is an animated movie, but the animation looks super realistic. Yeah. Like... Period. Like Tintin. That's it? No, that's not it. It's about, it's basically.

Like Scanner Darkly, kind of. No, Scanner Darkly doesn't look realistic. The people look real. Like Tintin. But this, but there's no people in this movie. Okay. It's not about people. It's about ants.

The realistic ass ants animated. And it's basically the raid where it's ants. It's like, but it's like, attacking a colony. It's ants going into another ant hill. And it's like a SWAT team where they have like, they have like smoke grenades and yeah. Do ants beef like that?

Yeah, they will go to war. Really? Yeah, they go, they're like, there's a bunch of YouTube videos you can watch about it. Of ant wars? Well, yeah, where people go, say, did you know that ants technically go to war with each other? Wow. But they do actually do this. That does make sense.

I've never really considered that because they got separate queens in different hills. Uh-huh. And they got to all defend their queen. And they got hella eggs everywhere as well. But can you imagine how sick it would be to watch a movie where it's ants and they're wearing like swat gear? And it's like, go, okay, clear the next chamber. go two yeah

and it's like POV shot yeah they're just yeah my gun's jam my gun's jam God no

I can't get it ah maybe there could be like maybe oh dude you know how in like 300 they have the big

monsters for no reason yeah it could be like one of the ant hills has like a centipede in it yeah or an art vark that would be a good ending

where like the ants actually slaughter the entire other colony but then are in turn devoured by the artwork and it's almost a movie about how ants don't matter yeah ants are pretty much nothing yeah a big

black screen white text ants don't matter ants are practically nothing I don't care it says I don't care if they can if they can lift 50 times their body weight they're small yeah that's not very much

to me they can lift 50 times their body weight, but then it's like, yeah, they're just carrying a cheese it. Exactly. They want to cheat it. They waste it. Yeah. They waste it on fucking cheese it's in the gym. How would you pick up a fucking $100 bill for once? Yeah, you fucking poor ass ants. You little ass stupid ass ant. You barely exist. I've never seen an aunt pick up a coin. No. And that would be impressive on two fronts because one, he would be getting money and two, he would be heavy. It would be quite strong for him to do that. And it would also showcase a level

of values that's... An entrepreneurial mindset that these fucking ants don't have. Literally, you can do... Okay, YouTube short. Not that

me saying this, but we have to actually do this. Yeah. Putting, getting a swarm of ants. First of all, we'll get a swarm of ants. Yeah. Which I saw in the way here.

So we already have one. I haven't seen one in New York. That's crazy. That's not true. I don't know if it's true. We had ants in here. We did have ants in here. We'll bring those back.

Yeah. And we do a swarm of ants. put on one side we put a hundred dollar bill yeah other side we put one drop of sugar water and say and we see which ant goes to the one hundred we so which ant goes and we say be like this ant be like this ant you think any ant would go to a hundred dollar but not unless we put sugar water on the dollar one one but i can picture this right now just the mentally challenged a man who doesn't know what's going be like this be like this ant he knows what's up And it's the, like, crazy filter, the, like, super sharp.

And you zoom in, you zoom in on that ant, Kevin O'Leary's face. Wow. And then it does the thing where it's like, and it's all the cap cut. It's just pictures of an ant going over. That's good. That's a good idea. But I wonder if there was any scientist we could ask, if anyone knows if an aunt would ever go to a $100 bill. We have a scientist who listens, I think.

An antologist. But I don't think that we have an anthologist. Is anybody in the world? world an antologist. Dr. Lesko from Fallout 3. I don't know him. He made fire ants that burned down a whole town.

Oh my God. He's a fucking idiot. Did he make that before or after the nuclear bombs? He made that after the nuclear bombs. Doesn't he realize the destructive power of fire? Buddy, all of this gets explored. It does? Okay. In depth? Yes. Okay. And you can make a lot of choices about his fate. Are you

able to use weapons, items, ammo, foods, things like of that nature. Can you save and quit? Continue, change sensitivity of the mouse. You can adjust your HUD color. Okay. This is why it's the greatest game I've ever played.

That's what makes it a role-playing game. It's when you have deep customization like that. It allows you to close the game and come back to it on another time. Oh, yes. Yeah. And it's the type of game we love to play in the USA. We love that type of thing in the USA. People are always talking about the US RPG.

Yeah. U.S. RPGs are huge right now. People are constantly like, dude, I'm a huge U.S. RPG fan. Yeah. I'm playing worms. I'm playing stick RPG. Stick RPG. I'm playing. Game dev simulator.

Game dev simulator. I'm playing, uh, what's that fucking, what's that game called? Do you know the game where they like people post a clips of it? It's like a game where you're like a SWAT team operator. No. You're like, it might just be called fucking SWAT. Oh, yeah, wait, I do know that. Yeah, and it'll be like someone, yeah, and it's like you, yeah, I do actually, I know exactly.

Yeah. And the whole game, there's like a DLC or a mission or mission in the vanilla game where it's like, you're the SWAT team guy and you're raiding a Twitch streamers house who has a bunch of a child porn on his computer. That game seems so crazy. It's one of those games where it's like, the like pitch for it is like, oh, it's like, it's like real gritty like police action or whatever. And then you watch someone play it

and it's like, okay, the mission here is that you have to go into McDonald's and there's a black guy eating a burger and you have to decide whether or not you're going to shoot him or you're going to arrest the guy who's working behind the counter who you are actually here for. Yeah. And that's the, it's actually, it's a high tension situation. Oh my God, what

choice am I going to make? Yeah. I just don't know. That's how I play that game every time. I'm going to buy that game and I'm just going to just record just let's plays of me just shooting everyone. Rob. I bet that people do that. But there's probably like, you know, you probably fail if you do that. Yeah. There was a fail if you do that, which is fucking crap. Let me be a real cop. There was an Instagram account that started getting like popping up in my reels. That's like retro game every day or whatever. And it's just like footage of like old retro games. Or it's weekly retro games, I guess. But this one came up that was really making me laugh. That's a game called bubble ghost. bubble ghost

And it's literally It's a It's a ghost that blows a bubble around a room And there's an evil burger That tries to eat the bubble And this is the music for it Dude is that fucking Tim Fallin on the Keys Is that Tim motherfucking falling on them damn keys?

It's the most hype music of all time And it's an evil burger and a roller skate And the here wait, let me pull that shit up here That's the thing that Tim Fallen is like this amazing video game composer that there's always every year there's a new like YouTube video that somebody makes where it's like the gaming industry's

most amazing composer and then all of the games that he did were like hey man I'm doing Pictionary here's the soundtrack to Pictionary for the NES dude look at all the art for this oh my God it was an infogram oh

from 1986 oh it's an infogram I wonder what the info I wonder what this game talks me. This is what it looks like. That's so awesome, dude. What is, okay, pull up the Wikipedia for this because I need to... Oh, it's a gift that scared me that it's moving.

Yeah, let's learn about bubble ghost. I need to learn a little bit about bubble ghost because... This article has multiple issues. This article possibly contains original research. Bubble ghost is a puzzle video game created by Christoph Andriani for the Atari ST in 1987. The player controls a ghost who by blood. going guy. Wait, wait, look at that fucking box art. I know. That is so fucking sick. It's like a, oh, okay, now that you zoomed in, I think, dude, it looks like you remember thumb wars?

It looked like a thumb. Yeah, it does look like it though. Yeah. It's scary. I can see it's in an analog horror. Yeah. That is an analog horror for little kids. That's like the scary shit that they're like, dude, and then a bubble had a ghost in it. Well, the bubble or the ghost blows the bubble. The player controls a ghost, the player controls a ghost who, by blowing, guides a floating bubble throughout a number of halls in a haunted house while avoiding obstacles that can make the bubble pop. A remake by Nakama Game Studio was released in March 2025 for Windows, PS5, and Nintendo Switch. I need to see the remake. We need to play this, dude.

Oh, my God. Wow, they have a whole. It's all, there's quite a bit of original reason. Bubble Ghost is a big game. There's a bunch of books about bubble ghost. I've never seen a Wikipedia article of the heading that says posterity. Posterity, yeah, this is the original research.

They have fucking like 25 different links to reviews of bubble ghost. I want to play bubble ghost now. Fuck it. Let's fucking play bubble ghost live. If I could figure out easily how to do so, I would. There was some website. Maybe it was fucking emu- you paradise and that's why

it's gone but there is one website that I used to play NES games in browser in the back of my community college class that I remember being able to do that as well I tell you about that professor I had that was in a wheelchair and he was like he was like hella conservative

and he would say like you shouldn't bring politics or like people would like have political stuff in like the papers they had to write and then if it wasn't right wing he would be like that's baloney like he had such a clear like political agenda and was like constantly like shoehorning politics

into the into the conversation about stuff and yeah I just would sit in the back of his class and just be like dude ninja guidein I'm on page 150 of this fucking magazine I still have not seen found the bubble ghost review so we're moving on from the bubble ghost sorry bubble ghost but oh here's the remake

Hold on. Look at the art for the remake. This is... Whoa. Fucking cow art style. Look at this. How did that become this, man? I mean, okay.

Bubble ghost, this name... Yeah, this is like a... The name there, bubble ghost is like, like, like, Stephen Universe-esque. It is. This is a... What's it called? Hope Corps bullshit. Yeah, this is Hope Corps.

which couldn't be further from this fucking original poster this original poster is scary as fuck but this is what the remake hope core is not the word I'm looking for hope core is like parks and rec season finale yeah just the season finale though the rest is grim dark as fuck dude grim the grim dark seasons of parks and wreck i know clear the hope core shit yeah absolutely the scene where leslie builds a pile of skulls in the office when aziz uh or tom sorry Didn't mean to say his real name. Yeah, don't reveal that information.

No one knows yet. Sorry for a spoiler. It gets revealed later that it's been Tom. Yeah. He's played by his ease. Because you don't know it because he wears a helmet for the first season. Uh-huh. He wears a helmet with that as two big horns on the side.

It looks fucking sick, dude. He looks kind of like the Quantum Ranger from, or no, not the Quantum Ranger. What's that fucking Power Rangers in Spade? They had the ranger that had the two horns on the side of his head. Dude, I don't know. Oh, my God. It isn't known by me.

You got to get tapped in this ranger shit. Dude, I've tried, man. Yeah. Thank you. That was a good combo there. Yeah. The chick-chick-ch-dame. Chick-ch-ch-dame is a good one.

It's a good name, too. That could, if not for the word damn, that could also be a great name for an old game from the 80s. Yeah, about a chicken. Mm-hmm. You remember that... You remember that band Chick, Chick, Chick, Chick. No.

And their name was three exclamation points. Oh, maybe. Yeah. They were doing all sorts of crazy shit during the Indies era. It's pronounced Chick-Chick. Yeah. Obviously should be pronounced. Ah!

Ah! Ha! Ha! Ha! Yeah. That's how I... That's how I pronounced it. Or just like this. Yeah. Are you going to go... Yeah, I'm going to go to the show tonight.

I think is opening. That would be really effective. If you could get your fans to say that or to act like that, you would have a great word of mouth. Because people are always going to want to know what... Unfortunately, that would never happen. There would never be fans who are weird for a musician. There would never be weird musician fans.

You just broke my fucking heart. I'm sorry to say that. Dude, I hear what you're saying, but just real quick, I need you to check out. Primus and 100 geeks. What the fuck? Just two of the most weirdest fanbuses I can even think of. My girlfriend's getting into Primus.

I like Primus. I loved when I was 12 years old, they were my favorite band, like, ever. I did never listen to Primus at all until I was 22. Or however old I was. I was working in so fucking demeaning

a way to discover Primus is that I was working in the liquor store and my manager started playing something over the speakers and I was like... Dude, Primus sucks. I know. I literally, like, I was like, it was playing too many puppies. And I was at first I was like, is this blind? What the fuck is this? And then it was sort of, and I was like, damn, this is sick.

And having to go to my manager and be like, Hey, man. What is this? What's this? That's why I do. It's fucking Primus. That's why I always have Shazam on me. Yeah. I'm not a Shazam type of guy. I love Shazam. I Google the lyrics usually. But this time I just asked. Last night, I should

just asked. Last night, this woman did this theme song to a Chinese TV show. Oh, that's fun. We were at karaoke last night. A woman didn't just do this. No, no, no, no. A woman, last night, a woman just started doing the theme

song to a Chinese TV show. No, she, uh, she did that and I tried to, I actually tried to shazam it. I was standing there. Was it fire? It was really good. Yeah. And I like was trying, I didn't want to be rude and be like, in the middle of her song go, what is this?

which looking back would have been funny to go like Hey would have been very rude though yeah very rude you gotta pay to do karaoke

you gotta pay you gotta pay a dollar you gotta pay a dollar minimum but you can also just give them a dollar fuck but I did

god damn it I didn't open a tab god damn it yeah damn it wait I okay one dollar dude my life is financially

you're ruined you're fucked you're so done okay gave me one dollar for my last song what did you do I did Loser by Beck

Nice That's a classic That's a good karaoke song Everyone loves when the chorus hits Uh huh Also you get to do Also you're a white guy that gets to rap Yeah

Rapping a karaoke is not for me I avoid that Yeah Then I did boys don't cry Nice That's another good one That's a good one And then I did ask by the smith

I was a hog You hoged Yeah It's nothing wrong with being a hog Well when no one else is really doing it You just got to keep the energy Yeah you got to keep the energy You got, it's actually, it's actually, it is like, it's, it benefits everybody to hog.

Yeah. In that way. Depending on the venue. It's actually the, well, it's actually, they should literally hire you at that karaoke bar to come in to perform when no one else is performing and make it. It's a good idea. You're, like, this would be a job where, and this probably, probably do this at some places, I imagine. Maybe now for karaoke, but just in general, this is probably, but you, you work for the karaoke bar and you're supposed, you come in in like plain clothes. undercover and you just like kind of insinuate yourself into friend groups and like when

they're not singing or they're too shy to start singing you go up and do a song come on guys come i'm gonna do just tap someone i'm gonna be like i'm gonna do my first song yeah you go you got next you got next yeah you got next i picked a song for you or you pick you make someone do a duet with you and then you leave yeah you leave after the first yeah yeah um that's sometimes good i but that would be that would be a good job that would be an amazing job dude. We, what have we done today? We've created a new TV show. We've created

a new job. We are just so creative. We've created so much stuff. We are just the two of the most creative people in New York City. Well, we're not as creative as these excuses to get out of swimming. Oh, wow. It's some type

of Shed way. That was supposed to be guys, we're back on the top 10s. I figured why the hell not? Let's pull. Since I have limited control

over what we can do today, let's just, yeah. It took me a while. It took me a while to get to the applause screen because there's a lot of, there's a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff I got to go through.

Yeah. I could have been a little bit faster. No. But we are back on the top tens. And now you understand why I never play sounds. Yeah. No, it's really, really hard.

It takes up a lot of mental power. And I'm always sitting here. just play the sound and you're like okay it's actually really because the thing is it's not actually hard but it just make you need to think really hard for like half a second which I can't think very hard for longer

than 10th of a second top 10 best excuse is get out of school swimming lessons and I know we've been both been in this situation and this is my Kazam could your school have swimming like a swim team no or I think we had a swim team but we didn't have a no damn pool

yeah we didn't have a pool but we might have had a swim team I think. I think we might have a, yeah. What an interesting thing for a school to have. Yeah, it makes it. It makes sense. I guess it is an Olympic sport. But it's weird when you don't have a pool.

Yeah, it is weird when you don't have a pool. And it's like, yeah, we have to take a bus to the YMCA down the street. Wait, now I'm like, maybe we did have a pool, but we didn't have a pool. Yeah. Well, that was a rumor. That was like the freshman hazing thing. It was like, oh, yeah. We secretly have a pool?

Yeah. I'm having this, like, insane reality down where I'm like, I feel like, we're like, we secretly had a pool, but where would it? I'm walking through my school in my head right now, and I logically know there's no place for there to be a pool, but I'm somehow still believing that there may have been a pool there. The

freshman hazing thing was that you tell kids, you go to the third floor in the elevator, and then the pool is like around the corner. Yeah. But we didn't have a third floor. Damn. And we didn't have no damn pool. That's haunted as fuck. Ah, swimming lessons. The dreaded right

of passage for many students. Maybe you love the water or maybe the thought of diving in front of your entire class makes you want to disappear into the gym locker room. Swimming lessons at school, we don't have that. No, yeah. Maybe it's because we didn't have a fucking pool. That might be it. That's probably the answer to all of my things. Like, oh, swimming

that's weird that this school had swimming. I feel like maybe it's still weird. That doesn't seem like it would be on a school curriculum. Yeah, I feel like that's like some private school shit. Yeah, I think that's some private school shit for sure. Yeah. You can't have a public school with a pool unless you do, which in that

case. Definitely more of a private school vibe, but it's certainly possible. Either way, we've all been there staring at the pool, trying to come with a good reason to stay on dry land. I know I have. That's where this list comes in. It's full of creative, relatable, and downright hilarious excuses people have come up with to avoid school swimming lessons.

Number one, I'm on my period. I know I've tried this one. I've tried this too. It has not worked yet. This will only work. And here we go. This will only work if you're female have hit puberty and it's only used once a month. as that's how the menstrual cycle works.

Yes. So that's kind of just explaining. Thank you. What's his name, say? Cranium. Kazam. Kazam. Only females are allowed to talk like that.

Works all the time. Works most of the time. Works, bros, X. Yeah. But I'm a boy. Oh, wait. I wore a wedding dress to school once.

I guess I can, wait, no, that'll backfire. L. O.L. What am I even saying? Help me. Alpha.

That's from Alpha Q. Alpha Q. That is an alpha right there. Alpha. What the hell? Yeah. I thought this is an alpha kid named Quinton. Now, I'm wondering what this guy is saying. I don't know. I really don't know.

This sounds a little schizophrenic to me. It sounds a little questionable. Yeah. Well, alpha question. Yeah. That's probably what it stands for. Yeah. Good one. Good one. Best excuse. So would you use this excuse? Is this worth it? Is this, does this belong at number one?

If I was a girl, I'd be lying about my period. all the time. Yeah. I'd be like, my fucking period just happened. Yeah, that's a good example.

And then I'd be like, oh, it's over. Yeah. Oh, it's done. Yeah. It would be like,

crap, it just started again. Yeah. Okay, it's time to, oh, you have to vacuum. I'd be like,

I'm on my period. I can't do it. And then, all right, do you want, well, I guess we can't go to the movies. Yeah.

Can't go to the movies. Can't go to the movies because I'm on my freaking period. I got my period. Crazy style. Dude, class saying that my period just started

and then I would go to my next class and do the same thing. I would probably skip the whole day. Just saying that my shit's gushing right now. Dude, it would be such a wonderful thing to talk about. I truly didn't know that it falls out like that. I thought you could hold

your period in like a poop. Okay. I genuinely, I think my public health class failed me because I did not know that it just like out of nowhere just fucking comes out like that like fucking I didn't know that the shining hallway was real. It simply is a miracle

of nature. Yeah. So I won't speak all of it to compare it to a horror movie. Hey, that's not a miracle. Dude, you don't realize that because of that is the reason that um, well, eggs die. That's the reason eggs die, man. I just felt very judged by an old Asian man. who made eye contact with me while I was saying that. Well, yeah, because he's on my side. Embarrassed me. Get him in here.

I hope he couldn't hear me saying what I was saying. I do you know, because you can't hear anything out there. You're 100% can't. Are you kidding me? Of course you can. We've had this discussion. What are you talking about? We've had this discussion before. Number two is I forgot my trunks.

Someone says, you know, to an elephant, this is a different excuse. It is, yeah. but then you'll hear the dreaded spare costumes put one on from your teacher which I was like I hate the dreaded spare costumes I know every I was like this is so crazy spare but then the comment right after that says I've had one and they'll just ask you to try on embarrassing spare costumes so spare costumes like a thing is this a translation thing yeah is that like a UK thing yeah it's probably UK I could see them I could see them saying fucking costume in place of like they call bathing suits costumes

Yeah, swimming costume. I could see them saying that. It doesn't sound right. That's really terrible. It doesn't sound right at all, but maybe, I was thinking maybe this is like an English's second language kid. Oh, okay. But they both said the same thing. Yeah.

Let's look up spare costume. Search spare costume. I think I'm probably going to get a bunch of spare costumes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm going as a spare this year. Let's search spare costume meaning. Yeah.

And let's, a spare costume is an extra costume that is kept aside for a situation where the primary costume is lost, broken, or otherwise unavailable. Serving as a backup or alternative. Thanks, AI. Yeah, thank you for that. That's how useful the future is going to be. It's so funny that that's the only thing AI is good for that and making

the Simpsons different. Yeah, making the Simpsons bull who. Yeah. Yeah, turning. Humanity had not figured out how to do that. We could not do that before no. Family guy in the style of Simpsons. Dude, it hadn't been done. That's the best we can get with AI. It had never been done.

Yeah. This number three, I really like this one just because of the picture. Number three is I'm allergic to chlorine. Oh. I have a little fucking crack.

It's like a beaker of chlorine. I really used to hate sweet. Oh, dude, I thought that was a play button on the bottom. That was the flag. That'd be so funny if you clicked it. It was just a video of it swirling around. Yeah,

this one would probably work. Don't quote me on that. My friend is allergic. I actually am, though. Not that interesting. in any comments, but I just didn't really like the picture. The picture's great. I'm feeling unwell post-COVID disorder.

Yeah. The water pressure hurts my ears. This could work, especially if you have an ear ache. This happens to me all the time. Buddy, if that's happening to you all the time, you have an actual problem. Yeah, you shouldn't be, also you shouldn't be doing swimming lessons. Yeah, you should not be swimming if you can't handle that. How deep is your fucking pool that your pressure that you can get enough?

water pressure to hurt your ears. You're going down, you're going James Cameron levels down there. What's that submarine? Submersible. The Titan. The Titan. The Titan. They called it the damn Titan and wondered why the damn thing blew up. Well, it's because of the Titanic. And they had a fucking Game Boy controller in there. Dude, and you know what else pissed me off? Dude, it was the fire festival of submarines.

Why do I feel like it was almost like the Tesla of submarines as well as being almost it was almost similar in some ways to or the guy who made it who did it who had the company who made the submarine was almost in some ways could be considered to almost be like the guy who would be a part of like the company from Elon Musk

but really why do I feel like that? Why do I feel like everyone? that passed away on that submersible as a fucking twat. Yeah, they're twaddling their thumbs waiting to go to heaven or hell. And they were all

billionaire beyond belief. Oh my God. Number seven is I like this one. This is a good excuse. Yeah, this is a really good excuse. I've got number seven is I've got an open wound. And now this has a supplementary piece of advice, which I've got an open wound

is already a great thing to say. Yeah. But here's, the supplementary. Here's what makes it really sing. To make sure they don't look, say that you've got an open wound in the groin area. I have a huge open wound. Yeah, oh, I cut my penis. I cut my penis with scissors.

I can't do swimming lessons because me and the other kids were doing BME Pain Olympics in the bathroom and I lost. But just the idea of like clearly a meat kid who's like shy. He doesn't want to take his shirt off to go in the pool. Like he's every, it's like week six. He's like every week he has. he's like a little augustus gloop yeah he's like i really don't want it and then he's like

teacher i can't do it i have an open wound i'm in my groin i have an open wound on my groin i can't swim dude every woman could say that yeah come on now i don't again i don't consider it to be a wound i almost see it as a flower but we can continue uh so someone says here's a kind of i don't really understand on this one. Say it's on your shoulder

so the teachers won't check. Are teachers not allowed to look at your shoulder? I guess in this situation, I feel like in schools now, if you have swimming lessons, they're probably wearing wetsuits or something. But a teacher can't look at your shoulder. You can't show your shoulder to your teacher anymore? What the hell is our society come to? If I can't show my teacher

my shoulder. I used to show, I used to get dress coated at school for showing your shoulders. Yeah, because I wore spaghetti straps. Oh my God. That was the funniest thing ever like dress-coating kids because all the teachers were perverts

you're like your skirts too short I've been looking it's it's it's interesting yeah it's an interesting scenario

someone says yeah this would work but like what if the teacher wants to see well if the open wound is down there where I think it is

they are 100% a pito uh huh and this comment down below yas this would work because they

won't I can't even they ain't going They ain't going to look through your down there, though. If you know you know. If you know. This last comment just says, what?

Your butt? I can't go. It doesn't know what a groin is. What? Your butt? You're groin in your butt. See, this is why we need sex education in. Yeah.

In schools. See, they taught me that the vagina is an open wound that you can hold the blood in like you're holding in a poop. It's a gemstone. Can we just? It's a gemstone. It's a beautiful gemstone. The vagina is a gemstone? It's a beautiful gemstone.

Really? You just said it was a flower. Dude, those are similar things. No. Hold on. I have to publish this video on Patreon. Oh. I have to click.

It was uploading this whole time in the background. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, you psycho. We're going to have to cut this out. We just don't have to cut anything out. I just did it. Oh, all I had to do is click publish.

Oh, live D&D out now. Yeah, out. recording of our live show a couple days ago on the D&D tier so subscribe to that if you aren't you're gonna like that

yep and Patches did a wonderful job on this D&D Patches is a fucking so that actually doesn't come work on the recording it just makes silence

the beep doesn't go through the beep doesn't show up yeah yeah oh what the fuck is that for then yeah it's just for us we can hear it it's only for us

but it doesn't come on the recording I never knew that yeah it's the funniest thing it is the funniest one I would like to figure out to make it work. I guess we just have to

put a real sensor beep in. Yeah, but then you have to also find a way to make it like duck the other audio and also be able to hold it down. Yeah, see, it will just come out like silence. Trying to get you on one.

I wanted to hit you with a like a sensor, but oh well, oh well, what's the next one? Number eight is I'm dead. This is the best excuse on this list so far. I can't believe it isn't number one. The teacher is truly going to think you are really sick and let you stay in the medical room

for the lesson. This excuse is the most believable yet you should win an Oscar. Here's your medal. This excuse is surely going to make many students from all around the globe grateful for this advice. They will likely use it on almost every lesson. Well done. This person is fucking pissed off at the integrity of this

list. This will work. This will not work. Number nine, I have an ear infection. What if the teacher looks at your ear? It's just going to sound like silence. For us. You have to stop using it. We've learned our lesson.

It works. You didn't even know I was lying. Ear infection, I think, is the easiest one. That's like the easiest way to get out of swimming. Absolutely. It's like, oh, I have swimmer's ear. I don't get that at all as an adult. Swimmers ear?

Yeah. Well, when's the last time you swim? Last week. And when before that? In May. In May, I was in Westport. Palm Beach. You swim a lot more as a kid.

Yeah. Dude, when I went to West Palm Beach with my girlfriend and we like, her like grandma's place is like on the beach. And dude, I was in the ocean like every day. Yeah. I was like fully like, I'll probably swim a little bit. And then I was like. So ocean is fun.

Dude, I was in there. I was jumping in the water like. I play in the ocean like a little kid. Dude, I got deep enough out that I could do. Do you remember doing like in the. pool doing like the matrix run up the pool wall doing like the in the water backflips I was trying to do that in the ocean

off of what I got like a little bit deeper out there's no wall I was trying to do like spins what like sonic spins not the you know oh you're just flipping over yeah I was flipping over I was doing flips is what I mean I was doing flips in the water you were in a magical ocean with no no no no no I got like deep enough out that if I tucked my knees I could just

yeah a little roll in the ocean I love going in the ocean it's so fucking fun and jumping around splashing water at everyone i didn't i used to think that i hated the beach i've every time i get in that damn water dude oh ocean's the only good part of the beach relying out in the sand fucking sucks dick hanging out in the sand sucks it's the worst uh-huh going in the water though it's number one i love it so much kids got the right idea yeah dude i want to get goggles as a grown man i want to start doing like not scuba but the other, like, like, I just want to just snorkel. Snorkeling. Be getting into

snorkeling as a hobby. It'd be cool. Yeah. I will almost, I've never been snorkeling. I almost went this year, but it was expensive as fuck. And I was like, I saw, it was like, well, the, yeah, oh, I mean, if you're renting the gear, yeah, it's expensive.

Buddy, you can buy it at the dollar tree. A snorkel? You can get a snorkel at the dollar tree. Well, you can't do that in the beautiful Caribbean. Oh. And the snorkeling zone was like, bring your own. No, I did not bring my own. Snorkel. Not a real snorkeler.

You rent all the, like, gear and stuff too. Are you talking about scuba? No, I'm talking about snorkeling, man. I know what you're talking about. You are talking about kids' toys for babies. I'm talking about snorkeling. No, I'm talking about Patrick's toy for Patrick. Real ass snorkeling.

Dude, you wouldn't understand. Let me just say that. You wouldn't get it. No, I'm just joking. But it was... I would get it. You would get it. You would get snorkeling.

Say that I understand snorkeling. You understand snorkeling. Okay. But it was expensive because it's expensive because it's like a resort area. So it's expensive to rent anything. Right. They probably got really good snorkels. They probably didn't even.

Yeah. But they had it was like you could they had like a section. It wasn't even like they took you out on a boat and you snorkeled like out in the water like far away. It was literally just like along the beach. They just had like buoys roping up. Oh yeah. I'm literally already. I'm swimming in where in the same spot.

Yeah. I can see the water's clear. I don't need the booie. I saw an eel. Yeah. I saw striped eel. well they went like this I want to eat eel

yeah I eat that I want to eat I eat that regularly you eat eel every day every day I had there's some really good eel at this Chinese restaurant yeah

and St. Mark's oh I guess I've eaten Chinese eel I'm talking I want to eat the fucking jellied jellyed eel that world's

oldest fast food video the guy that looks like a big cartoon mouse and he's like these are jelly deals with pie bomb I don't think jelly deals are too

appeal I like Unagi and I like the Chinese eels as well I I've had eel sushi. Yeah. You know, get that at grocery store.

Yeah. City Fresh in Bushwick. I used to have that there. Dude, now I want some sushi. Maybe I get some sushi. Maybe I'll get some motherfucking sushi with some. Catchup. Number, we're skipping ahead.

Number 18, I don't have my legs. I don't have my legs. Is there very good. I actually do like that excuse. Working great. Yeah. Number 19. Oh, no, I accidentally poop my pants.

I need to go home. Yeah, diarrhea and poop are the two best excuses. Because you're not allowed to swim if you have diarrhea for some reason. But you can, diarrhea, okay, let's break that down. Yeah. That shit's that. That's bullshit, right? Mm-hmm.

You swim with diarrhea all the time. Do you not? Yeah. Okay. I wanted you to say it first because I do too. Yeah. But I didn't want to be, though. I didn't want to do.

Why aren't you supposed to swim with diarrhea? I assume because you, okay, in my brain, your butthole particles. Yeah, it's like the diarrhea is so complete that you can't wipe it effectively without like fully showering it off. Yeah. I don't know if that, that must be molecularly true at some level. Well, I feel like there's probably, you get bacteria because of like, or you get diarrhea because of a bacteria in your stomach. And then that's probably in the poop particles.

Yeah, the poop particles and there's no like. It's okay for like someone who's pooping normal logs, normal loaves. That's not going to, that's not harmful. goes in your mouth. Diarrhea is going to have... Diarrhea is not good to put in your mouth. No, and pools go... Pools get diarrhea in your mouth.

Peeing in the pool. We love this. I grew out of the pool. The ocean. Peeing in the ocean is good. You got to love peeing in the ocean. The pool, once you stop being a kid and you realize, oh, we're all in here, the ocean is infinite. Yeah.

You pee in the ocean and it's already, in my mind, I pee in the ocean. like it goes into a, into a village in China instantly. It's gone. It travels so fast. It's like, your pee just immediately just, your pee just immediately just, I pee and then immediately someone in like Thailand is like drinking water.

It's like, oh my God. No. But in a pool, it's there forever. Yeah. Yeah, the pool at state. Well, no, because they get the circulator thing. Pools act like they do that,

but there's not that much. there can't be have that much water yeah well i guess it probably cleans the water yeah there's like but you can't would you trust somebody okay if you had if somebody uh peed into a cup yeah or there's water in a cup and they peed into it's half pee half water and then they say okay i'm gonna pour this into a pool filter yeah would you would you shower in that water after it went through the pool filter? Because I don't think I would. I don't think I would, right?

I don't think I would, but I've been in the pool when there's pee in the pool filter. Yeah. So. Right, which is basically what that is. And I think it's okay as long as you don't know that it's happening. Because I think you can just assume that pool water is nasty. Whether or not there's pee in it, it's probably gross.

Like, it's a bad sign that you have to put those chemicals into the water, I feel like. You know what I mean? And if you've ever, like, had a family member who had like an above ground pool, in their backyard. You go over it, you go to it like once, a year, like twice a year or something, and you see what it looks like. Yeah. When they, like, take the cover off, you're like, yeah. There's a leaf in here.

It's probably, well, or just like the water just is just gross. Yeah. There is this one, the condo complex I grew up in. There's this, like, older lady, Miss Fran. I definitely talked about Miss Fran on here. I told you about this. The fucking time that we were all swimming in the pool

and it was after like a big storm. And the pool water was green. We were like, oh, this is cool. And then we looked in, someone lifted up the pool filter and there's a bunch of dead frogs in it. And we were like, oh, oh, interesting. The pool, dude, is the warmest the pool has ever been. It felt so awesome.

We were like, dude, it's green. You know why, dude? It's because the filter is like when they put fluoride in our drinking water. They're making you, they're fucking you up. So once that filter gets called. You're getting the pure, it's like raw milk, bro. Yep, I was getting raw pool. Raw pool, dude.

They're not filtering out all the stuff that actually makes you into a man. Yep. The water stayed warm. Every time that the water was blue, it was cold. When it was green, it was warm and it was nice to swim in. We need to be swimming in green water. I don't like swimming in blue water. No.

For real, I don't. I don't like swimming in blue water. Put me in a damn green pool. Number 21? Mm-hmm. I'm depressed. Damn. That picture I like as well.

That's a very good picture. What are the comments here? It just simply says, everyone is insane. It's low-key sad. Wow. My mom wants me home. My friend can't swim. Water is too cold. I have used that excuse constantly.

I hate cold pool. No, it pees me. Oh, when my wife won't get in the pool because it's cold? Because it's too cold. Just get in. I'm, no, I'm with your wife. I would be outside the pool and I would wait until finally I'm like, and then I dive in.

Yeah, but you make it worse on yourself. You can do that in the pool. Can't really do that with the beach. Cold beach, hate that. No, you can do that too. Or are you talking about cold weather outside? No. The water should be cold in the ocean.

The water should not be cold. It should be warm. No, no, you are, you. I like it when the beach is warm. cold water is what is what is good to swim in I like warm that's for a hot tub

that's for relax I love a dude a hot tub ooh madone I love a fucking hot tub I do love a hot tub I was just at this hotel a few weeks ago and they had no hot tub

and I got so pissed off excuse me can you get a hot tub in here they had a pool they had a two pool that indoor pool, outdoor pool, no hot tub. And I was like, that,

that's, you know what? You don't need two pools. Make one of them into a giant size hot tub. Yeah. But then I noticed that they didn't have a hot tub, but they had a sauna. And that was really nice. There was this, uh, we would go on vacation, like February break, we would go down to this hotel called the Cape Point Hotel. I don't think it's a, I think they got bought out. Um, but that place was so awesome because they had big ass pool, kitty pool, hot tub, sauna.

Yeah. And an arcade downstairs. God damn. I literally want to go back so bad. We should go there. But they probably fucking changed everything. Dude, this hotel also had an indoor racquet ball court. One of those things where it's just like a big, just a gigantic white room that you just hit a tennis ball, all, everything.

And I was playing, having a good time, just playing, hitting the ball around. Then I hit one of the lights. So I left. it's leaving just like a big fluorescent tube broken in the room it did not break but it made quite the noise back to the sauna oh yeah yeah time to go sit in the sauna

dude they had the sauna that they had though it was so fucking tiny it was literally like they had a closet and then they just put like a sauna in it was just like I remember you turn this dial and then you would go in there and then like that fucking burning wood smell that's in a sauna

yeah it became my favorite smell I love the smell of the sauna the sauna smell oh all the thinking about all the old fat men who were in there before me sitting there just going

oh rubbing like they're like you can see like right over here like their towel is on their belly yeah and you can see it poking out yeah

and like they had like a bunch of like beef before they went in there yeah yeah they ate hot dogs and other stuff they have a son at the gym and it's so it's so nasty looking it's so dude i remember that yeah that fucking yeah because it's not even like yeah because it's not even like like like i feel like a sauna is like nice but there definitely does feel a little nasty yeah like just in general a steam room though

is bad a steam room is so nasty and especially when it's like like like i feel like at least with a sauna and a steam room it's like when it's like oh there's like wood and it like look like you can like fool yourself into being like water over the hot cold Yeah, it looks, it looks nice. Even if I'm like, oh, I'm just breathing in all this nasty crap. But this one is like full like linoleum everywhere. And it's just like, yeah, everyone like goes and fucking does like people go like just their underwear. Yeah, people.

I've seen that. I've seen dudes walking out and fucking tidy white. People literally just go and do like like 50 deadlifts and then immediately just walk into like this steam room that just basically it like it's all like it's like it wasn't supposed to be a steam room. It's like that was supposed to be like a steam room. Like that was supposed to be like a cleaning closet and they were like, and they were just literally like, well, what do we do with this space? We have another. Well, let's just fill it with steam. Let's fill it. Let's put a steam room in there. And you just see like, you see it like no one's ever in there. But whenever someone is, you know they are because outside of the door, which is like a glass door like that one. It's just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're bringing. No one's bringing like the sandals, right? Or no, no, no. No one's bringing like the sandals, right? Or no, no, no. You have to take your shoes off. You have to take them off.

Yeah. Yeah. So you, so you, they're just in there like fucking bear when you just see their like nasty ass

sneakers with the socks and it just, oh, it's like literally, I feel like you probably catch tuberculosis. Oh yeah. 30 seconds.

That's a room that actually does have like my asthma stuff in there. The Victorians were right. Yeah. The Victorians were right about that steam room. Yeah.

That one specific steam room. I'm so afraid of it. I hate, I honestly does hate it even being near me. How are gay? people hooking up in there. Dude, I don't know.

It would be quite the feat. Yeah. That's like, well, no, just in general. Like, like, the stereotype is like, oh, yeah, you're in the steam room with like the gay guys. And it's like, why the hell you want to get sucked off in there? It's already a physical thing. I feel like I would die.

Yeah. I would feel like, hey, gay guys, more power to you. I mean, they're some of those powerful people in the world. I know. But I truly feel like being on either side of that interaction, I would pass. way. Yeah, I would fucking die. I cannot, I can't even like

sit and do nothing in a steam room. Do you remember that scene in Halloween town where the guy, they leave the guy in the steamer for too long and he gets skinny? I think so. The ghost? That would happen to me. You would get skinny? I would become bones. I feel like

I would, I feel like I would pass out and then I would just get left in there. Yeah. And I'd jerky. Yeah. Just sitting like on the ground with your like pants half down. Yeah. The guy's like, I don't, this guy was just in here with his ass out before. Like, I wasn't even doing anything to him.

Yeah. That's crazy. Because also, you're, you're, it's going to smell. Uh-huh. Because when you have sex, it smells. Yeah. So you're making this room stink. And it's also a steam room.

Yeah. Why are they having sex in steam rooms? Is it the, is it just because it's there? Oh, it's because you can't see. Oh, it's because you can't see. And that's my theory. They like it in public. Look, more power to you, man.

More power to you. If you're doing that, if you're having sex in the damn steam room, you're braver than me, bud. Yeah. You're way braver than me. I could never do that. I'd slip and hit my head. Because I stand up when I do that shit.

That's right. I can only do it standing. This list had basically nothing else good on it. It was not a good list after all. That's all right. We got to talk about gay guy steam rooms and stuff. Yeah, which was really why I brought up the list in the first place. I mean, we got an hour and 16 in just so we can talk about gay guys on the steam room.

Well, I just wanted it here. I had one more thing to show. This is completely unrelated. But this is just like a Reddit post that was really making me laugh. This is from, I've talked about it before, the R-slash fake-y-mon. It's like where people make up their own fake Pokemon. And this is just a post where like it's very, it's really funny because it's extremely clearly a little kid pretending to be an adult. Oh, dude.

And it really made me laugh. So, here, I'll read this to you. It's just, geez, I forgot I made this back in high school. I was learning about freaking sponges, and I just drew this during class. Oh, my God. And it looks like this. That's so awesome. And they put layer like notes.

Yeah. Category filter Pokemon, gender unknown. They're like. Yeah, I just, you know, I mean, it's pretty good for a kid. That's what they're looking for is like, this is pretty good for a kid. They could be like, they're just embarrassed. They're just embarrassed to admit that they're a kid. They have the same thing that when I was on Reddit as a kid.

I had, I thought that, first of all, I thought everyone that I was talking to was like 25. Yeah. And also in my head, 25 meant was like someone who was like 50. Yeah. Like a 25 year old meant somebody with like a full family, a house. Oh, yeah. They know what they're doing. Yeah, yeah.

But, and I thought that that was everyone I was interacting with. But of course, it was all other kids like this. But I just like, geez, I forgot I made this back in high school. Back in high school, it was so awesome. I was learning about freaking sponges. Yeah. In high school, learning about, you know, you had the sponge unit. Yeah, I'm just a normal adult.

Remember when you learned about freaking sponges back in high school? Dude, it was so funny, like being a, child in like having a MySpace page. I had like a MySpace when I was nine. Yeah. Because like my sister had one and like her friends did and I wanted to be cool. So I had one. And I remember my mom was like, you can't have one unless I add you. And I was lying about being 13 and I was like nine. Yeah. Like yep. 13. Going to be 14 next year in my About page. And then she was like you can't say that you're 13. Why are you lying on there? I was like if I I'm friends with Tom. If Tom, if Tom, fucking sees that I'm nine on there. I'm gone. He's going to kick. He's going to ban you. And I can't have my top eight, which is my mom. Yeah. And three kids that I know from school who also

have one and my sister and my brothers. Yeah. I can't not have this. I can't have this playlist of music that I made from a website that I learned to embed it in it had Everlong by the Foo Fighters on it. Yeah. That's, hey dude. That's a good song. Someone was Beast mode. Someone commented

on this and said, I've also made up basic fake emon based on things I learned in class, though they're college classes in my case. The first one I made was a version... This is an even younger kid. Yeah, exactly. Well, wait till you hear that. The first one I made was a version of psilosis based on meiosis. I also made a few in my

animal anatomy and physiology class. Glomiflor and Eldiglom blased on the glumruis, a part of the kidneys, I believe, are pretty neat, and I might post them here someday. The same cannot be said for the vagina one. I have no idea what to do with gestures.

In college, they made a vagina Pokemon named Jesteris. You know, yeah, I believe that. I believe that a college kid made a vagina Pokemon. Name Jesteris. I have no idea what to do it. Yeah. I just really like that. You know what they should do with it.

Fucking send it to the Pokemon company. Send it to Hal Laboratories. They should make... When are they going to make a vagina Pokemon? You're running out of things to do, dude. All the animals and stuff? Yeah. Just make one that's called Pufki. Or Puskey.

Puff key. What is Pufkey coming from? How hell is that? I don't know. Pusky. And it's the vagina Pokemon. Pusky. The vagina Pokemon.

This Pokemon has a blood attack. Dude, your complete is stuck on this. My girlfriend's on her period. Yeah, she's on our period. And then I asked a few questions about it. You're taking notes. Taking notes. The half moon glasses.

I was like, so it just all falls out. You're ready done. Disgusting. Ew. Absolutely disgusting. So you can't hold it in like a poop. Not even like a pee? Because it doesn't come from the same hole.

Yeah. That's an important one. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think that probably, I mean, wraps it up. That probably does it for the Just Us League, the Skeleton crew.

We have one more Just Us League episode to do. Well, I think that's not going to be fully Just Us. Because Julio will be back and so we'll have somebody to actually control all this stuff. But this was an interesting experiment in the show. It was. It was frustrating to set up the wires. So I'm... Another casualty.

Jesus. That really scared. me probably extremely visible how badly that scared me thank you for warning yeah thank you for warning so wait wait another casualty here we go yeah i saw a ghost it's the funniest thing we've put on this it's a good sound yeah uh all right well um subscribe to the Patreon. I think we have just released an hour long,

actually 90 minute. Yeah, 90 minute long. 90 minute long. The Inde live show is on there. And look, we only had one camera. We had one camera, but I think the audio is a bit better than some of the other live shows we put out in the past. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Well, you can hopefully enjoy that. And there will be, there's all types of things that are just happening in the world. So just in general, in general don't end up dying or doing anything like that don't give up don't give up don't give up i wish we had like a play a play us out play us out song yeah well i know which one we have on i know there's one song we have on there at least