Podcast About List - Ep. 360 - 🫲 We Are Magnanimous 🫱

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

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I never noticed our picture was a ball. Dude, so that's called a circle? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Before this. Don't touch this. Yeah, you are a little finger. You're literally about, no. You have unwanted fingers.

There's a virtual ball. There's a virtual vandergrap generator. It's literally a circle because it's the shape of the record button. You did not even look at it closely. I've seen it a million times. It was the ball that you think I don't look at this. It's the ball that we used to have on the wall. It looked like.

Remember? On the old set, the electric ball, plasma ball. Oh, I've seen that. Yeah, it looks like that. I never noticed it was a plasma ball in there. There's not a plasma ball in there. No, it's not in there, a picture of a plasma ball. But you know that that's just a picture that you press to look at the recording.

It's a virtual plasma ball before it says record. And I think that that's... Did you set it to be that? No, that's the default setting. See, I was wondering if he said it to that. I was wondering if he said it to that because when we got this, it was on our old set. we had that plasma ball. So I was like, oh.

Is it my diet Pepsi that smells like bleach? It might be. It's, we have been experiencing. It's a slight bleach smell. And I'm wondering if we're having a chlorine gas attack. Chlorine gas attack? Well, I think you have to have chlorine gas be extremely strong for to actually attack you.

Interesting. But it's not an unpleasant. It's also, it smells like it's just been cleaned. It smells like a locker room. We're next to a salon as well. You think that they're chlorinating some people's legs? Chlorine bleach,

bleaching hair. I don't think it's the same type of bleach, but I guess it's more, if it's for hair, it's peroxide bleach. You're talking to the wrong guy. Yeah, it's true.

I don't have one hair. Speaking of. And the only two times I've ever tried to dye my hair blonde, both times it went orange. It became orange hair. too. Why is that? Why is that so fucked up? How do people get their heads so blonde? Because of the undertones. You got to go

have it to be paid for it to do it. No, you can do it longer. And you also have to put on the color that counteracts the color. Yeah. You put in the blue or whatever. Every time I'm, every time I've done it, I've got to take it out and go jump into one of those things. Why are you so stressed out about this? I'm bald now. You don't have hair. Yeah, you don't have to worry about it.

We bleached your hair. We bleached your hair in Chicago. Speaking of, that's what I was going to That was my transition I was going to say last time of the second of the last time we were in Chicago third to last time actually we bleached your hair

and you were just in Chicago this weekend yeah unfortunately nothing of note really happened you fucking asshole you didn't do anything cool you went somewhere you want me to say you're in brag

about everything that I did well just tell me how your weekend you between the two of us in terms of what we did and how it's catered for being something we talk about on the show. You did have a much more interesting weekend. Not really. I went to

ComicCon, yeah. Yeah, man, come on. But it's not that interesting. We got probably 150 episodes out of us going to Pax East. That's true. And you can't give me fucking one. You know what? The whole time, the whole time I was there, the whole time, I mean, the second day that I went, I went with my girlfriend in Patches.

And that was fun. But then the first day I went solo. And the whole time I was like, this isn't like, packs at all. Caleb and Cameron aren't here. Wow. I can't even make fun of all these cool things I'm seeing. You have to just simply enjoy them in earnest. Right? Yeah, I have to be like, oh, that's cool.

They made a big Nickelodeon thing. Oh, oh, Walmart's here a bunch. I could probably tell Cameron about that. What was, did you have any like just legendary fucking just jabs that you were at a nerd culture that you would have said to us? Yeah, describe what you saw and then say what you would have said. Oh, dude. The prices.

of these game booths, right? They had a small video game booth. The prices on these controllers. Do you want me to spend $28 on a Mad Cat's Wii controller? Get out of here. I would have said that. You would have said that to us? I would have said that.

I could have said that to you guys. Damn, I got to say that for later. Get out of here. What I did, I went there. So the first day I went solo and then I went, I left and got Jolly Bee. And then I was a day one. Day one? And then you went back the next day?

I went to Jollybee two days in a row. Went to Jollybee two days in a row because my girlfriend in Patches I've never had it. And I was like, wait, we got to go. And I left the first day, went and got a meal. And then the kid behind the counter went oh, you went to Comic-Con? They got hentai there. I was like, what? And I had to be like, I was like, yeah.

I didn't know you went to Comic-Con. I had a bag. I bought a pyramid head. Dude, pyramid head is so played out. There was 16 of them there. Dude, he just had a new game come out this year. That's probably why. Well, I'm sure he's very, I'm sure he's also very comedy. Name a fucking pyramid head guy.

Cooler head guy. Name a cooler head guy than pyramid head. Because I think pyramid head is number one. Classic Frankenstein, two bolts in the neck. That's not, you know what I'm talking about. I'm saying, I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think of who. Oh, oh, oh.

And you can't say. Cortex. Uh, uh, uh, fucking, what's his name? professor something for Fresh Bandicoor. Neocortex? That would be a cool one. Big Head. She's walking around with a big head costume. What about Shrek 1, Farquod? I saw a Farquod guy with the big head and he's running through the. Oh, that'd be a good one. The velvet ropes. Yeah. What about Airheads commercial? Airheads commercial. Doug Dimitome, I saw that. That's a big head guy technically. Doug Dimitome.

Yeah. That's an interesting cosplay. Anyway, I'm at Jollybee, right? Pyramidhead blood dripping off of the front thing onto the counter. It looks like hot sauce, but it's not. I'm sitting there. I'm eating. And then I look at my phone. What do I see? What do I see there? Post from one Captain Crembrillet, Bamargera. I will be signing at Comic Con from 2 to 8.

Oh my God. So I get up. I go back. Do you leave the chicken? Or you've finished my meal. I've finished my meal. I just bit into an Ube pie, which, by the way, the new Ubeye pie, Jollybee.

Oh, okay. You got to try this. Well, that's a fine food to be in a rush. It's really. That's a handheld food. So you, did you, uh, did you bring everyone else with you? What do you mean? No, this is day one.

Oh, this was day one, this was solo dining at. It's confusing because they get both, there were two, right, right. I did the same thing two days in a row. Yeah. So that's where I have got mixed up. Okay, understood. I, I leave. I go back.

I rush over because I'm like, dude, I'm going to be like one of the first people in like, I get there. I get in line. It's me sandwich between some kind of, some fucking goss. anime character and then a couple that are dressed up like Vigita and Boma

and I'm in the middle and I'm waiting in line and then the Vigita guy hear him go fuck turns out my brother's a sex offender and his wife

that's Vichita he's sitting and he's going was he said yellow hair or normal normal is like vacation Vigita where he's wearing the purple shirt and he said here

she's going Fuck, man. Well, he's fired when we get home. My brother's a sex offender. Makes it sound like he's, like he has to fire him. He has to fire his brother from, I guess this guy ran like a comic book shop or something. Oh,

and he has to go fire his own brothers. He's a sex offender? Dude, that's like fucking doubt. Yeah. This is in the Bamargera line. But you know what I mean? It's cool.

It'd be a good movie. Oh, well, I think it's cool to. I think it's cool to fire him. With two brothers. One of them is a sex offender. Mm-hmm. nondescript sex offender and the other one has to work up the courage to fire to fire his own brother yeah well dressed as vegeta while dressed is vegeta

he comes home dressed up comic on hey buddy bro what the fuck yeah throwing the cards at him but yeah he's sitting there he's just like lamenting it's just like I hear him say like I can't believe my brother's a sex offender like four times then I finally get close enough to see the prices for the band meet and greet yeah $60 I'm not paying that I leave. What would have been? I leave dejected. I,

this is what's interesting. 40 would have been, I would have been willing to pay that. So, with my current financial situation, I cannot afford $60 to be Bam. I feel like Bamargera is maybe one of the most well-known scammers. Yeah.

That there is. Yeah. So I can't believe you expected anything other than that. I mean, I guess maybe you didn't. Maybe it's just worth going over and looking. I mean, I would have,

it was 60 bucks for a selfie. I could have just shook his hand and then left the line. but I was like... What would you have said? But I would have... Yeah. Hey man. Hey man.

That guy's brother's a sex offender. Don't take a picture with him. I'm literally just here to warn you. I don't want a picture. That's a really bad family. You don't want to be associated with this guy. No. Stay away from this guy's brother.

I know he looks like a tune. Yeah. He's far from it. No, this is not a real... This is not the real Vigita. And that's not the real Boma. That is the real Boma. That is the real Boma.

That is the real Boma. That is the real Boma. That is the real Boma. That guy could be a hero. I don't know. Yeah, that's true. If he's going to fire his brother. I mean,

that takes some guts to be like, I'm going to fire my brother because he's a sex offender at my comic shop. Yeah, I feel like you wouldn't do that, right? Wouldn't you leave the line? If I found out my brother, I'd be scared of him.

Wouldn't you worry he's going to sex offend on me? Wouldn't you leave the line though? Wouldn't you leave the line and call him and be like, you did what? Like, what the fuck is what I was seeing? Straight up, no. Yeah.

I would put it on the agenda first thing Monday morning. Like, like after I meet Bam, my brother's getting a stern talking to. I'm finishing a... You went to comic... You went for free, right?

Yeah, I went for very cheap. Yeah, I went for free. Yeah. So... I'm not gonna leave my movie. If I'm in the middle of the movie... If I paid... If I paid and I made the fucking Vegeta costume...

Yeah. Yeah. Fuck no. Yeah, that's right. Then I have to be standing outside in Vegeta costume pacing. Yeah. Like, that's worse.

Tell me it's not true. Yeah. I might send my brother, Texas says, Hey, let's talk. When I get home, we need to talk. And then the next one is a picture of me and Bamar Jimmy. Yeah. I paid 60 bucks for this.

But yeah, I went there. My, my, my, my, my, my girlfriend's, like, friend did, like, some art for, like, a Ninja Turtles comic, so. Cool. Whoa. I went there, I went there to buy. Well, I got, I got the passes from Zach. Yeah. Zach gave me the passes.

And then, uh, I went there to buy the thing for him. And then the lady in line was like, do you also, do you also like Godzilla? And I said, my friend does. And so I got a, I got a pin for. you. Whoa. Yeah, I got you of Godzilla and I didn't get you

anything. There's so many times. There's so many times they didn't give me anything free. When I was in Atlanta, I went to some bookstore and they had a bunch of Godzilla books shit. Yeah.

And I almost bought one for you, but I was like, I think maybe the worst thing ever and this would happen is I would buy one of these and bring them to you and you would be like, oh, actually this is like

the worst one. Dude, that's the problem with him. It really is sort of a parent. I actually just ran into this issue recently this weekend, where I think I'm too much of a, I'm too, I'm too annoying of a fan of all the stuff I like that I can't even relate to the other fans of it where I met a guy who was a huge Godzilla fan and he said something and it made me go like, really?

That's okay. Are you serious? What was it? That's skating for me. What did he say? Yeah, I feel it and it's, and then I, well, I mean, I didn't, I, I didn't say any, I'm not going to, I'm also not the type person who's going to be, who's going to say anything about it. Yeah.

it is, but I felt that, I felt that in me and I was like, oh, that's awful. No, I know. It's the worst. It's the worst thing ever to be like that big of a fan of some shit. To be like something too much that you hate everybody that likes it. I think I was so nice and I loved him and he was what was his opinion? Tell me. No, it wasn't even opinion. It was, he said it was a,

it was that, it was a, it was that he was that he said the end of Godzilla minus one was teasing by Alante. So this means nothing. And you disagree? I completely disagree. So you wanted to smash this guy's face in and you wanted to kill him really bad? I just said, I was just, I'm just,

I'm just, what? What? What are you talking about? You think he could tell that you immediately shifted? If you were on that, if you were on that show, lie to me, you remember that show with Tim Rock? I think I'm pretty transparent. I think it's pretty easy. I think probably.

I mean, I don't think, I don't know. Did you fart when you heard him say? I farted, yeah, yeah. I feel like that's a good reaction. Like Brent Spiner and fucking. a master of disguise. Just like, yeah.

Like immediately just that's a funny movie. Yeah. I hadn't happened to me once. I ever tell you guys about that? Master of disguise attack. I had a master of disguise. A master of disguise fooled me one time.

Yeah. Dude, I fucking pistachio disguised when I was at work fucking tricked me into thinking he was Tony Robbins. It's crazy. Yeah, no, I didn't know Tony what Robbins was anyway, but then it was pistachio. No, I had a

incident where I was walking with my friend Charlie and I laughed at he like caught me off guard on something and I laughed really hard and I was having some stomach problems that day and I fully like went like hop oh yeah

I fully had the Brent Spiner like fucking fart attack dude I was I had a fart attack I was fucking taking a shit in the front bathroom yeah I like it's having the worst stomach egg ever because I was just eating

Chicago food and drinks and shit that's always what happened on the flight back from Chicago and there was like the Rico Benet's before? It was fucking like six flight attendants. Then they were all at the very front

and they were hanging out. They were having a good time. And I fucking went in there and just started shitting and farting so loud to the point where they, I heard, you know, they like buckle your seatbelt

like ding, that they play. I think they have a button up there that is specifically for the person in the bathroom because they dinged me like 25 times in a row which you would not do

if you would not hear that in the normal cabin. and then they just pounded on the door because I think I was stinking up the first class cabin, bro. Nice. I think I was blowing that shit up and that's fucking praxis.

I think, well, actually, here's the worst part. I was in the first class cabin because it was Frontier Airlines so it was $10 extra dollars. I was about to say that's probably why they were probably saying,

hey, get out of here. Yeah. Because you don't belong there, buddy, no chance. I belonged, I belonged in the extra leg room frontier cabin for 10 extra bucks.

You don't even belong in the first class of Frontier. Yes, I do. No, no, do belong there. You have to get it. out of there. The flight attendants could tell.

Yeah. No, I actually, you're right. You're right. This is not a first-class fast. This guy must have won the lottery. It's funny that even on Frontier, where literally

it cost me $10 to get this seat and it was the only seat that I could I could pick. So I was like, oh, whatever, I'll fucking do it. And even there, in the first four, the first three rows, every single person up there looked like Nav.

Yeah. It was me fucking just like so bloated farting. That was what I went on that, uh, what was it? was our flight to Cleveland, where I got, like, randomly upgraded for, like, because I said that I was too fat to sit in the back of the plane. Yeah, that was very rude. Where I was just like, like, I don't know.

I guess obviously there's business conference, like conferences and stuff. I don't even remember what airline we were flying, but like getting moved up to business class and there's people in, like, suits working on their laptop. And it's like, what are you? Give it a rest. I know. And then at the back. I think they play that up because they hear business class and it's like, well, I must do some business.

I got to fit in here. I got to do some business. I got to do some business. I got to look like this. Like a fucking hunger game. like everybody's, people have like 45 babies and wearing rags, dressed like doggy. Just feeding them bread just like. On my flight to Atlanta this weekend, there was a giant ass dog that just stood in the back

of the plane the entire time next to me. Outside of any scene. Granny do. It was literally. You had Granny Dew. You talked to Granny do. It was fucking cute. It was just like standing like and it scared me so bad because I didn't know who was there.

You don't expect. And then a dog's head just came up. you're right here and I was like in the aisle seat and then it just stood there for the first two hours was it a service animal

no it was just a very well-behaved dog yeah I guess if your dog's chill as fuck and then it was just like well yeah I just think it literally didn't fit in any of the seats so the guy just stood with it

in the back and then like when they were laying and I went back yeah so that's saying on my story about the dog wow that's some interesting crap dude I had such a

we had a couple of crazy airport experiences I feel yeah well because there's a nor'easter storm the nor easter through everything so I woke up yesterday trying to get on my 11 a.m. flight and they said it's canceled we didn't even try to delay they're like it's canceled and then I booked another one

that one got canceled and then I had to book a flight where I flew to Atlanta wait you flew to Atlanta last night I flew to Atlanta and then flew from Atlanta to New York at three in the morning that's crazy it was fucking poop bro I got into JFK so late that the airport was closed

where a guy in an orange Vest had to, like, let us through all of this shit to get out. It was fucking weird. I thought the airport was 24 hours. No, most airports are not 24 hours. That's crazy. Yeah. They shouldn't close.

The, yeah, the Nor'Easter. Dude, I saw so many Instagram stories of people this weekend who were stranded places. I think everyone flew somewhere because it was a long weekend. And then they all got stranded from the Nor Eastern. Oh, that's why. That's why everyone was doing all this shit. Unemployed. That makes sense now.

My flight back. Yeah, it was like. Oh, Saturday and Sunday. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah. This is a normal weekend. And then people are having stuff on Sunday night.

And I was like, whoa, everyone's going crazy this week. That's interesting. Okay. All right. Partying's back. But then you went to go sit in front of the bank and open the door for people and hold a cup and the bank's closed. I mean, look at me. That's my job right now.

Yeah. I had the most unbelievable airport experience. Tell me our flight where I was worried that we were going to get stranded because of this same thing. And I saw our flight was already, it was like early in the day and our flight was already getting like delayed, delayed, delayed, like more delays building up. And I was like, damn. And we were getting picked up by my father-in-law to, like, go get lunch. But then I was like, let's switch our flight right now. And let's get like, let's go to this, let's get on this flight. It's like two hours away. The airport's 30 minutes away. It's tight for the Atlanta airport.

That's tough for Hartfield-Jackson. Quite tight. Yeah. This is an airport where two hours you get antsy. That's the worst airport. No, no, no, no, no. We switch to the airport. We switch to the earlier flight, hel of traffic, roads close, get to the airport one hour before the flight. Whoa. In the security line, flight is boarding. Oh, my God. Flight is boarding. Where I'm like, like, I've never, I'm not that guy.

I'm at the airport four hours. Yeah. You get an adrenaline rush? Every time. I'm my heart, my heart is pounding. I'm pissed. Everyone is taking a long time. I'm getting so mad.

Get through security. This is also, we're at Terminal D. Atlanta has the plane train. You've got to take the train. Oh, I forgot about it. Four train stops away. Boarding. Boarding. I'm like, we're not making it.

There's literally no way. It's like we're on the, we get on the plane train. It's like two minutes till boarding doors close. I'm like, it's not possible. Just then as we get on the plane train, notification flight has been delayed 10 minutes. Damn. So boarding will continue for 10 more minutes. Awesome.

And then it was literally where it was right as we got on the train where it's like, we also were at the gate that was furthest from the station. So it was like, it's still not. sure like we still might miss this but it was literally like yeah it was it was it was like that was like the it was literally a train wire where I was like I was like okay come on get right like here we go it was literally just like a hype up yeah stretching my legs the doors open and we just sprinted through the entire terminal all the way to the flight and caught it like literally at the last second which and it felt it was the most incredible door I sprinted up and I was and I was sprinted the gate agent and I was like Cameron Fader I was like when is the when is the boarding doors closed

when is boarding stop and they were like if you're boarding you need to get on right now and I was like no no no no my wife is running too but she's like much shorter than me she's like you need to you need and they were like okay it's okay we'll let her on and I was like and then I like turn around and went back

it was like come on come on but I think if we had missed that it would have been the worst the worst day of my entire life but catching it truly I literally was one of the best days of my life because of that it felt so fucking good to sprint through that airport

that was like I've heard that fucking, that guy, Kiernan Kulkin. There's like this story about, Kieran Kulkin. That guy? Yeah, that guy. That guy, Kieran Kulkin. That guy, Kiernan and Kulkin. He was telling this story. He's telling this story

on some interview where he's like, yeah, I miss my flights all the time. I just show up to the airport 10 minutes late and I go, yeah, if you guys are about the board, just put me on. It's like, that, you could have done that. I was like, in my head the whole time you're telling the story, I'm like, you could have done that. And then I'm like, oh, no, wait, that guy's on fucking TV.

Yeah, he's rich. That guy's a rich guy. He just waves that first class ticket around. No, you had to actually sprint. You know about the shit that people, I saw some article about this today. What? That there's a thing that people do where it's called airport theory where they try to say you can get there 20 minutes before your flight. Yeah.

This is exactly what Kieran Kulkin was saying. I think I believe that. I think it's fully true. Like, we caught that, but we should not. At that airport, with the government shutdown, with fewer TSA agents, and also literally everything was in our way, like the traffic, we went to a bag drop.

They were like, this bag dropped close. You have to go to this one. It was literally like every step of the way that something could stop us. The devil was working. And then at the last second, it shone through. And if we could do that, then I'm like, oh, yeah, here's how you could do anything.

You could just become a pilot. Yeah. Fly your own plane down to. dude, I looked at my own plane. I'm so, I do think there's something so different. I think that there would be a psychologically a different thing if

I was in the cat, the, whatever you call the cockpit versus the cabin. In the cabin, I don't even really think I'm in the air. Yeah. Honestly. When I'm in, I'm sitting in in the window seat and I'm looking out and it's just clouds or gray or a city and I'm like, this is

a LG TV. This is, yeah. But if I was out there and it's in the front, Dude, I was just thinking about it. You know how they have the flight tracker on the seatback TV? Yeah. Not on Frontier. No, I'm sure. They don't have a fucking plug.

I hate it when they don't have the track. Dude, by the way, new game has dropped on the seat back. Really? I took a picture of it, I think. I can't remember what it was called, but I remember thinking you guys were going to be excited about it. Because I love those games, dude. This is the one with the jumping basketball. This is, oh, no, this is the wrong picture.

This is a picture I took of a security panel that's just called Owen and shows a guy. Wow. That's cool. But that's not on a plane, though. I just thought that was cool. They should put some cool-ass indie games on there. Oh, dude, Juan's Magic Lab. Juan's Magic Lab.

Creativity just got a bit wilder. Juan, the Chameleon, owns a machine, which makes animals. Kids can learn about and build real animals or recreate the strange hybrid species that are presented to them. It's kind of dark. It's scary. It's cool. But the flight tracker on the TVs should have, they should invest in cameras on the nose of the plane. Yeah, I agree.

That's, I mean, right? Yeah, I'm thinking of the 3D model. It would be so funny. Like, and I was thinking about it, like, and I was, you know, and I was maybe as a little morbid, but I was thinking about in relation to that damn helicopter that killed all them damn people down in D.C. Where? You didn't hear about this. No.

No. No, there's only the more salient-con. So this was actually happened recently. I was at Comic-Con the whole weekend. Yeah, this didn't happen while you were at Comic-Con. When did this happen? And can you imagine that watching the flight track? Beginning of what?

But also, I was, do you think that? Oh, yeah. You think they don't do that because it's like, how common is it that birds just get completely annihilated by the cone, right? Yeah. Like, you, you, exactly, like,

it's got to be really common. They want to show that there's floating nests. Yeah, or the flights are, the pilots are specifically trying to hit the birds. You're going to,

you're going to, well, you're just going to open the flight tracker thing to look at the front view and it's just going to be like tinted red. Yeah, just a stuck on beak

and a fucking eyeball. That's why the bald eagle is a protected species is because they're just hitting them up in the sky. Yeah. It's hitting them like crazy. That's why it's bald

because we shaved, or that's why it's an eagle because it flies. Yep. Well, that's true. That's why it's a seagull without the S. Bald seagull. Also, it's not that bald. It's covered in feathers.

It's white. Yeah. I wish you called a white hair to eagle. They should call a bald white eagle. Yeah. It's a bald white, white, white, bum-ass. Bum-ass fucking loser-ass. Peanut head eagle.

Kind of sounds like it's mean. That kind of sounds disrespectful. to it. Well, it's protected. It's a fuck about a bald eagle man. I guess if it is protected, you can make fun of it all you want. You guys know they don't even sound cool. What the eagle? Oh, yeah, the hawk. The hawk sound. They use a hawk sound to do it. What does an eagle sound like? They sound more squeaky, I believe. Really? Like, oh, wait, I think. So it is a bum ass bird. It is. I would say, I would say, yeah, I would say a bald eagle is of low tier bird. Yeah. I wouldn't go so far as it call a bald eagle. You can

A peckerwood. You can tell that why. Yeah, why not? That was very frightening, but thank you. Sounds like a seagull, don't it? It does. Is that really what a bald eagle's in? Yeah.

Well, I don't know if he did put in the right thing. He probably doesn't know what that is. That was him fucking stepping on the mice that litters the floor of his disgusting Mexico house. See, that's a seagull. I know that's a seagull. Yeah, because I can hear the ocean behind that. Yeah. I really can.

I believe that. I think that the only bird that I think is really cool is a big ass vulture. Condor? Oh, condors are cool. Condors are cool. I saw in a vulture eating a squalors. When?

In September, 2024. Oh, okay. I thought you said recently, like this weekend. Oh, that's not recent. I didn't say that. I thought you were saying this weekend you saw a vulture eating a squirrel.

This weekend, I was just sitting a sod in my life. Oh. It just made an impression. I thought that this was like, you know, this weekend. Vultures are cool. I went.

I went to Atlanta for this thing and then also I saw a vulture eat a squirrel at the zoo. At the zoo. Yeah, they keep them in the same. Such a cool bird. Such a cool bird, the vulture. And then what is the fucking leading

comedy news publication called a fucking a v. Vulture? No, we AV club team over here. Fuck vulture. I thought AV club was shut down. I don't fucking know. Not once I get my hands on some money.

The vulture comedians to watch. They are vultures, but anyway. Is that why it's called that? Yeah, they're circling around the fucking people clambering for its water. Looking down from the sky. These poor, these poor, fucking destitute comedians just scrabbling through their desert. We like your Instagram video. We can't wait to eat you.

Picking on the corpse of these poor artists. We love your short core form content. Short core form. I've never heard that before. Well, it's a bird. It doesn't know English language so well. So it invents a new thing. It's made a big.

I like short core. That's cool. Short core is a good idea. It was this summer for me. Short core. This is shorts core? Dude, I've noticed since I got back that the winter stuff is started. I'm so happy.

But people really do, you know, the water freezes over. And so do the people's attitudes at the delis. Yep. No, I'm not a winter fan, but this autumn weather, really, I'm loving it. I held open a door. I held it. You know what I was thinking about how,

isn't it fucking crazy that basically the whole moral of Spider-Man is you should never hold a door open for anybody or help any stranger because they can fucking kill your family? No. No, Spider-Man does open or, oh, I see what you're saying. Because like now if I know, you're, yeah, oh, the first movie. The one time that we see him do something for a guy hold open a door for somebody. He kills his uncle. The fucking guy goes and kills his uncle, dude.

Yeah. So it makes me not want to do that anymore. Yeah, but that's just because Spider-Man. What if I opened the door for somebody and then they go, oh, thank you. And then I see them get on a plane to Wilmington, North Carolina. Go kill Matt DeVita. That'd be fucked up. That would fucking hurt.

Yeah. I mean, I think it's more that when someone says yells at you, you have to do what they say. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because that guy's, hey, stop him. Yeah. Because you get kind of, if someone yells at you, you kind of think they're, that's got to be either my Mom, my dad, or my boss?

The thing that this guy in the Spider-Man situation, where the thief robs the wrestling guy. Criminal. No, no, no, no. I'm talking about the wrestling guy who yells stop him. Oh, he's awesome. He may also be a criminal. We don't know.

But the thing, you have to assume that... So, yeah, the thief stole from the wrestling guy and then ran away, and Spider-Man didn't stop him. And the guy, the wrestling guy, yell, stop that guy, stop him. And then what they probably cut out of the movie is that the Spider-Man goes, and lets the guy get away. And then the wrestling guy goes, well, I told you to stop him. He said he was on his way to kill your uncle.

But okay, no, no. He's holding his own money. I mean, he didn't steal anything from me. He showed me all the money. He showed me a picture of your house. Check out my money. I'm going to go kill that kid's uncle. I'm going to use this money.

I'm going to earn that I had my normal hardworking job. Yep, I'm a good guy. I'm having kind of a bad day. And also his uncle, I had a recently unearthed memory of this guy's uncle. And I'm going to go kill him. Yeah. That guy wrestled so, that guy was so. that guy was so disrespectful in the wrestling

ring tonight. He called the opposing wrestler gay. Remember that in the movie? He does. He does that. He calls him gay. He calls macho man Randy Savage a gay guy. He says he has a boyfriend. Yeah, husband. He skips, boyfriend goes straight to husband. Husband is, it's not by the way, it's not an insult to say somebody has a husband because

it's like, that's so much, there's so much commitment there. Yeah. Especially in 2000 and 2001, this guy had a husband? Yeah. That's impressive. That's brave. He's braver than Spider-Man. Yeah, because that's It wasn't legal back then. No, back then it was like you could only be in a civil union. But the thief, the thief, who wasn't even really a thief, he saw that and he picked

out, he was like, whoa, this Spider-Man guy is bad news. Yeah, this is a bad kid. Wait, where did he get these regressive ideas about romance and homosexuality? Yeah. Oh, probably from the people who raised him. Probably, probably he's homophobic. Yeah. Well, I was wondering what to do with this money.

Yeah. I'm going to use this money to buy a gun and kill his own. Hopefully that will set this Spider-Man on the right back. We got to cut it off at the root. The root issue here. And then the wrestling guy knows this is all going down. And he says, Spider-Man, stop him. He's going to stop you from being homophobic.

I want you to be homophobic forever. So the wrestling matches will be better. Keep listening to your uncle. Yeah. And then he killed that fucking piece of shit, Uncle Ben. And then the Green Goblin came around and the whole thing went to shit. And then in the fucking Andrew Garfield movie, movie. He lets him go because the

fucking guy, the dude shorts him a penny. Spoiler. You haven't seen that? No. He's like one of the take a penny, leave a penny things and he's like. Oh, you watch that? We watched that. Yeah. We watched the Andrew Garfield Spider-Man. Yeah. I don't know. We did not watch that.

Yes, we did. No, I would remember if I did. You don't remember. No, I don't. Yes, we did. When did we watch it? We watched it when we were in Wilmington. And Caleb got a crazy concussion and hit us out on the shelf. And then we sat down and Caleb's stepdad was like, do you guys want to watch a movie? And I was like, yeah, let's watch The Amazing Spider-Man too.

And your stepdad was like, no, we got us put on the first one first. I was on my phone. Me too, man. I already saw the first one. I wanted to watch the second one. I never seen it. I never seen it because I was on my phone. Anyway, you've seen it.

Well, in that movie. I've seen it in that movie wait no I thought we played that fucking game with his brother what game the game where you uh move all the elements together oh oh yeah but that was a god or whatever that was after you came back from with your do you still have that scar on your forehead oh yeah yeah it's like a little i can't tell dude you're you're moving your eyebrows up be completely close your eyes become a nerd kind of a dent right there i see the dent yeah it was like uh that was a crazy one yeah it was a crazy one Yeah, because I was so excited to wear my mask.

Yeah, I know. Bend the knee, man. You still put it on sometimes. It's the mask? Yeah, I love it. It is so excited to wear, man. Me too. God, I love wearing that little blue mask.

Two of them at the same time. Dude, mine's black. I'm goth. What about... Remember how awesome it was when there was, like, the people who would have, like... They were like, oh, I have to wear a mask? Okay, and then they wear, like, a Jason Vorty's mask. Yeah.

There'd be pictures. of people in like Walmart. Dude, you know what went quadruple platinum in 2020 with boomers, boomer Facebook. What? Normal Halloween, take off your mask before you go in the store.

Wow. Halloween nowadays. Put on your mask. Put that mask on. Every store had that up. What about this? Right? This is a parody that could have happened back then. Uh-huh.

Asher Roth. I love COVID. okay parody when it comes to masks put two on that would be i hate covid though i love covid man i love drinking man i love gaming man i love covd i'd write i want to have a lockdown for the rest of my life i understand it now someone loving lockdown so much yeah it could be a good parody we could write this say that we wrote it four years ago back i'll let you uh we write this We write this. We put it in a vault that says that it was

written in a time to lock. It had a timed lock and it was written in 2020. Scientists unseal a vault from five years ago. It's dry ice. It's got a USB and it's just kind of music video

for Atcheroth. I love COVID. Yeah, this was back when they still use USB drives. Yeah, in 2020. All right, we had USB drives back then. Sand disk. This is a good idea.

this is a really good idea it's like that John Malkovich movie the Robert Rodriguez John Malachvich movie 100 years yeah dude that movie I've seen it sucks that movie's got to be so ass yeah it's gonna be terrible there's no way that that's a good movie

no I'm into every Robert Rodriguez picture even the ones I haven't seen well it's a commercial it's a Robert Rodriguez commercial for like Don Julio or something it's not even really a movie well or not oh when he did the movie that's comes out in a hundred years I didn't know that was Robert Rodriguez yeah

You saw it? I was lying. He saw it. You didn't. It was my joke. Oh, man. I believed him. I believe you too.

Me, you motherfucker. So that's not going to come out until what, 20... It's like 21, 50 something. I was in 1886. I was in college, I remember, because my film professor showed it in a, like, my freshman film class at the trailer. Yeah, and he was like, guys, sadly, none of us will be able to live long enough to see this. And then he thought, he was like, well, I was like, well, I was like, well,

I won't. You guys will probably live long enough to see this. I was like, fuck yeah, dude, I'll be 118 years old. Yeah. That's crazy. People live that long. It's terrifying. I somehow, that was a film class where I had to, you just watch movies and then like do an online

quiz after that's like, yeah, who's the hero of this movie? And you'd say this guy, this guy, whatever. And somehow I Iron Man. It was like, well, actually the movies were good. Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, and Blackwoodo. But it was the only class I ever failed in my life. Why? Because I just

completely forgot to do the quizzes and nobody ever told me because it was just, I just didn't read the syllabus. Dude, that's just how it is at the beginning of college. I didn't even know I failed until I failed the fucking class. And then I had to take the class again. It was the same 10 movies that he showed you. So I'm in there watching the limey again. It's the same movie. Dude, I failed a class and had to do it again too. That just sucks. What class did you feel? That one of the, uh, uh, like, it was like, it wasn't

public speaking. It was like speech. Oh, yeah. It was a communications class. It sucks. Yeah. I failed Spanish and then dropped out of school. Yeah. That's awesome. We're just a bunch of guys. A bunch of fuck up dropouts. Yeah. It's all just going. It's really going well

putting dropped out of school on my college or my applications. Why are you putting that on your application? I'm fucking honest. Drop that fucking school. Come on, man. I dropped out and I started my own resume. That's insane. That's insane.

Wait, that's like the easiest fucking thing to lie about. Why would you know? No one's checking that shit. I should say I finished. Why would you not? Are you crazy? Nobody has ever. I get when people are like wishy-washy about lying about jobs because it's like you have to provide a reference or whatever.

But no one is calling your school. Dude, they probably will know me. The school is not going to pick up. They don't give a fuck. They're going to look at how poorly written my resume is and they're going to be looking at like how everything else on there. Dead to. They're like, there's no. no way this man graduated college.

There's no way this man graduated high school. They're going to be calling my old teachers and just being like, did he, did he actually? It says here me, Patrick, me, went to college. Me went college. I like you implying you that they're going to call your old teachers means that you're listing your adult

teachers on your resume. I have all my teachers. Here's why I went to college. And here are my teachers. Here's where I went to high school. These are my teachers in high school. These are my teachers in high school. Phone numbers available upon request. I'll be.

I'll be a professional reference for you. Yeah, I'll do it. Yeah. That'll work. Dude, I got you, man. I applied for, uh, it was a women's pelvic surgery, uh, center in New Jersey. No, social media manager. Now you're applied for that?

I was like, I don't know. Did you have any good ideas? No, I was like, what is that? Like, you just like, you know, get stock photos, make graphics, like, fucking upload them. That's fucking easy as shit. I was like, I could do that. It turns out they want you to have a degree in marketing. Yeah, I think that's probably, that makes sense to me.

Yeah, and on mine, it says, dropped out of school, created Sullivan the Frog, the Enterprises. It's so crazy that you put the words dropped out of school. No, it's not on there. It doesn't say dropped out. It just says like 2019. I know. I know. That's just making me really.

Have you sent your resume to anybody to be like, yo, help me out with this? No, I should though. That, yeah, you need. Yeah. I know. I just think I just, I'm definitely unemployed. after what I've been doing on the computer for the last five years.

Dude, just pick up an alias, a reverse alias. You know what? I should start going by Nimrod. Nimrod Dood pants. Nimrod Doran is a good idea. Yeah, that'd be good. Yeah. I'm named after the, what is, what was he,

a biblical figure? Nimrod, yes. He was a hunter. He was a hunter. And he wasn't that stupid. Yeah. He was a skilled hunter. No, no.

Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny ruined it. Yeah. And I'll have that in my resume. He ruined everything. Bugs Bunny ruined my name. Jumping Jha. And I have a whole book.

I have a whole book about this called Dude, if you have a whole book about this, you need to put that on your resume. Nimrod Fudd. Wrote a book about my life. My life after Bugs Bunny ruined my name. I was born into a world, chapter one. You were born before Bugs Bunny called Elmer Fud and Nimrod.

Chapter 1. This earth is shit. Sentence 1. colon. That's what I put in there so the reader knows that this is the first sentence. Just say the sentence again. Okay. Say what exactly what it says under chapter one. Well, chapter one,

this world is shit. Sentence one, colon. It says sentence one colon after that. That's nice of you to label your sentence. Yeah. Label my first sentence. It says this world is shit sentence one colon? No, no, no, no. No. Like tab, space, space, or enter, enter, enter.

Oh, you should be a typist. It's one. Colon. but that's under the first sentence no you don't understand he doesn't understand he's saying sentence one colon and then the sentence yeah then the sentence

because I just asked you to say you said it reversed many times to where I thought that was no no no what you were saying anyway sentence one ever since I was born into a world where I was betrayed by a cartoon wait this is sentence one now

yes sentence one what was this world of shit then the chapter title the chapter title oh I thought you're saying that's the first sentence.

No, the chapter title. I did not understand. He's a chapter. And he's supposed to be the genius of the show. Sentence one. He's supposed to be the smart one. Dude, write your book. I'm sick of fucking figuring out what is the sentence and what is the title of the chapter.

Sentence one, colon. I was born into a world full of shit. Okay. That's the first sentence. I'm not going to. This is also. I was born. Sentence one.

I was born into a world of shit. That's the first sentence. Sentence two. You got to pay for the rest of this book. the first chapter is free. That way, so the first sentence is free. The first sentence is free. This is in a book, though.

So how does that work? How is it already free? First of all, you give it for free? I'm not a very smart person. I will admit that. But you're creating this. You're creating it, dude. What you need is confidence.

I think that could be true. I think you need to believe in yourself as an author, which is now your chosen field. Let's scrap all this. Okay. Let's scrap all this. this. Nimrod Doran. This is my new book. All right. Nimrod. What's in a name? Cool. That's the name of the book. What's in a

name? That's cool. Chapter one, same as the parentheses. What's in a name? That's just a good title. Okay. First sentence. Well, well, well, well. Still with the color. No. No, he's, that's, that's juvenile. He's been past that. Yeah. First sentence. Yeah. Well, well, well. I know that you're reading this book right now Wow This is crazy That's like way in the video where they're like I bet I can guess what number you're thinking of

It's two Yeah I know that you're reading this book right now wondering Did they name this guy after a dip shit? Well no Because there's a lot of history behind this name A name that I gave myself To get better applications into

restaurants, social media marketing places. Can I give you an idea for a section of this book? Yeah. You should do an interview with another Nimrod. Yeah, the director of the movie Predators is named Nimrod. Okay. Now I think about that, that movie is about hunters. It's a cruel name to name your child.

And then chapter two, Nimrod on Nimrod. But you should actually, in real life, you should email that director and pretend that your name is Nimrod Doran and try to become friends with them. Just being like, yeah. I also have, I'm doing a documentary on the name Nimrod on. I just, I grew up, I had a tough time growing up with a name Nimrod, I'm sure you experienced it too. Let's just grab a beer and talk it over.

You should just do that with a bunch. You should do that to job for job applicant. You should just say your name is the name of the company or of the hiring. Whoever's hiring. That's a good idea. You should be like, yeah, it's so tough. And even if they have a normal name like Jeffrey, you say, man, it's fucking hard growing up as a Jeffrey. So hard. Everyone thought I was a fucking giraffe. Everyone kept calling me, Jeffrey,

the giraffe. Geoffrey. Yep. Good idea. That's a hiring hack right there. That's how you get hired. everywhere. And then when they hire you. My name has always been waste management since I was born. My name is waste management, Doran. Oh, that you could also... And I was made fun of as fuck for this.

You could start pulling, pulling public stunts where you change your name to the companies legally that you want to work at. My name is Wendy's Doran. And I would love to be a cashier. You want to change your name for that one? And I would love to work at a cashier at a cashier. Dude, could you please be

a cashier at Wendy's and you can be a richards. I literally, I don't think I'm mental prepared to do that. Wendy's in the city? I don't think anybody is. I don't think anyone is. I think those people, I think. I don't want, listen, for you,

I don't want that for you. Yeah. For me? You want that? I want the, no, I want you to do work there. I bet you could work at Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A, maybe. He's too rude.

Yeah, he's too much of a downer. You would never say my pleasure. No, I would never say my pleasure. He'd be like, this is a fucking gay. Whatever is what I'd say. Dude, that got work at Dick's last resort. You could work at Dix Lass Resort. Then I would fuck it up because I'd be so nice to everyone.

That'd be coming back and me like, dude, by the way, you know, I'm joking. Dick's Last Resort training me and Cameron sit down. Hi there. What's up? Okay. Meem. Okay.

By the way, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. Pat's like... Oh, dude, you'd fit right in at Chick-fil-A. Pat's saying, like, dude, it's just so hard to get hired because of what I said. That's not what you would say to me. No. All right, so...

Let me help out. Let's try it again. Yeah, and let me help out, too. Here, he sits down. He looks like that. I sit down on like this. Yeah. Okay.

This guy's a bonehead. That's what you're right on that. That's really, really good. That's really, really good. All right, this guy's a bonehead. That would be tough. All right. You think I was a disability?

Like a chihuahua, sort of like your brain, like hydrocephaly or something. Like your brain. My cousin has that. It's not that crazy. Well, I just mean like a dog, when a dog has it. I was a dog. You would insults it a dog, by the way. Yeah.

Calling a dog a bonehead is good, though. Call you a dog a bonehead. That's like calling you a hamburger head. It's cruel to bring a dog into Dick's Last Resort because they don't understand. And they can't defend them still. Don't even know they're getting called Bonehead. Okay, so what are you calling me if I'm sitting down? Hi there.

First things first. I just put Bonehead, take immediately. On his hat. Put it on the hat, put it on the dog's head. Then I turn to you and I go, oh! That's good. That's good. Oh my God.

I didn't know they let Uncle Fester in here. Well, yeah, because he's banned from most locations. Yeah, because Uncle Fester, yeah. By the way, if you were Uncle Fester, you'd have to leave immediately because he's banned from every location. He takes all the light bulbs out and puts him in his mouth. Okay. And then they're like, wait, what do you mean?

Uncle Fester takes all the light bulbs out at restaurants. Oh, so you're not very familiar with Uncle Fester. Oh, so someone here's a fucking idiot. Uncle Fester lights up light bulbs with his mouth. Duh. That's what he does in the A good duo at Dick's Las Resort. And then they're like, wait a minute. So I like to apply for this job, but if you hire me,

you also have to hire my comedy waiter. Yeah, my comedy writing partner who's going to be my sidekick. You guys should get a job at Dick's Last Resort as a dual waiters. Wait, we do that, right? No, you guys don't have to commute to probably Myrtle Beach. No, no, I think they have one. I think they have a Dick's Last Resort up in like fucking Rego Park or something or like Corona. Somewhere around there.

That seems odd. Or maybe New Rochelle. It seems like an odd place to have a new Rochelle every day. To be a Dick's Last Resort. To work at this Dix's last resort, but the thing that we do is we go in wearing one big t-shirt that makes this look like conjoined twins. Wow. We go in there. You can't be talking.

If I'm eating a meal, you can't be talking twin T-shirt as a conjoined twin. What do you mean? Why not? We don't like you. Because I'd say one of us, one of us always tells the truth, the other one, always tells. Okay, that's right. So, yeah, yeah, yeah, always goes a roast. No, one of them tells the truth.

One of them always lies. He looks at you, he says, he says, hey, Harry. I said, you bald. Okay, all right. So what are the specials, guys? You, you're looking like you. You might have said, you're a little special. Am I the liar?

Yes, I'm the liar. I said, Harry. The special is your ass meat. Okay, so we're going to kill you. It's either me or my ass meat, and one of these is true. Mm-hmm. And we're going to kill you, and we're going to chop you up and put you in the back. Yeah.

Okay, double trouble. We're not going to. You're not allowed to run. roast us back. Can you please leave the restaurant? Yeah, I'll leave. Yeah. And that's how that would go. Uncle Fester.

I'm banned. This is the story of how Uncle Fester got banned. He tried to say double trouble. The thing about Uncle Fester, it's weird, is you think he'd be familiar with conjoined twins. I mean, that's the type of thing. He's a familiar to all manner of freakism. Yeah.

Yeah, he looks over with a light bulb in his mouth and he goes. Yeah. See, oh, and if you were the, if you were the liar, you could call him Cousin It. Yeah, that'd be good because you got no hair. Hey, you look like cousin it. If you fester. roasting fester

I say hey buddy get any sleep last night look at those eyes okay 2 1 what 2 into 1 we're not conjoined anymore

we get out of the conjoined thing because we're like and we start beating your ass with a baseball bat that's right I can give it right back to you guys

we're taking the fluorescent tubes out of the light tubes breaking them over you yeah you guys would use tubes we push you over and we're breaking

them over your back and I'm still alive and it doesn't hurt yep and then we're making you inhale the tube. Tube. What is it? The fluorescence.

Yeah. The fluorescence. What's the chemical? The gas. What's the chemical in those? I don't know. Yes. Scientists.

What is the chemical? Yeah. Doctor science. Thank you, scientist. I don't know. Tell me scientist. What is it? What is it?

You definitely knows. Something, it ends with on. Right? Is it xenon? Probably. Yeah, xenon bulb, right? Yes. See, he knows.

He pretends he doesn't know. You knew the non. You knew the non? If I knew the non. I would have known it. This guy looks like he knows non. Fat ass. Yeah,

well, I thought two heads were better than one. Seems like that's not the truth. Yeah. No, it's not. I interrupted you and beat you. My head's better.

And by the way, speaking of beating you, I'm going to continue beating you. Yeah, by the way, we're getting back to beating you. Yeah, you're beating me in a race

to see who can have the most heads in an hour. Yeah, but you're a most head in an hour. Yep. Yeah. You want to hear your order, sir? A white cracker.

Oh, wait. I confused what you look like with what you want. Okay. Well, you two are making. That's really good serving someone a white cracker. Anyway. Oh, sorry.

I confused you with what you look like. Oh, wait a minute. Sorry. Yeah, I wrote this down on the order. I wrote your name down on the order sheet. Serving them all their food and then also giving them a way thing. They're like, what's this? Oh, I see the issue.

See, I wrote next to the table. White Cracker. Well, you guys, you guys are like a Ritz Cracker sandwich because of how much cheese is in the middle of you. Oh, oops. Oops. Sorry. I'm sorry to put you in this big. old cup of soup. I thought you were a white cracker. I thought you were a saltine.

Yeah. Lifting you up, dunking you in. You are salty. I am roasting you so good. I'm a salting you. No. I'm a salting you. I'm a salting you over the head with seam on tubes. I'm throwing the carrots out of the stew at you. And I'm cutting onions in front of your face so that you get eye burned. See, this would be, okay, I know we're joking around right now. This would be the greatest fake, like, one person comes in, pretends to be the customer at Dix Last Resort

and then two of the employees try to put that customer, they have a plant they try to put him in a big stew and everyone's looking around like, oh my God they really are root. They really are rude. They should do that at that's over the line. They should get plants where the like that the waiters can beat up and smash

breakaway glass over there. That's a great idea. See and these kind of ideas are things that should get me hired. Yeah, for Social Media Manager. That would be, honestly, I think that you could do a rebrand, like a Domino's level rebrand of Dick's Last Resort. Yeah.

You could bring back people to Dick. Yeah. The food's good now. Yeah. That's step one. I'm hiring Kill. Yeah, the food's good, one. I'm hiring Kill Tony, Golden Ticket Winners.

Wow. Yeah. Golden Ticket Winters. Oh my God. A restaurant in Austin, Texas is called the Golden Ticket. And every single night. Grill, Tony. Grill Tony. Grill Tony in Las Vegas,

you're telling me that wouldn't make any money. And every night they have a Kill Tony Golden Ticket winner. Yeah. Dinner and a show.

Grill Tony would serve smash burgers with mac and cheese. Yes. That type of thing. Roast beef. With a burger sauce. Ramos and bacon broth.

Yeah. Yeah. It would be, dude, I mean, it'd be game day food. David Lucas meat. Yeah,

the David Lucas fucking burrito. Yeah. Cosmic brownie ice cream Sunday. Uh-huh. Ooh. Just some good food.

Fudge. Fudge. Fudge. Fudge you. Fudge you. Fudge. Yeah. The Fudge Packer Fudge.

Yeah. Yeah. Saltwater Laffey. Oh, that'd be good. It's a mixture. It's a mixture of like, of like, like,

like edgy, racist name. And also salt water laughy. Yeah. They sell taffy at the restaurant for some reason. Tad's an appetite. The rubber chicken.

Yeah. I'll have the rubber chicken with the saltwater laughy. What's your order? Chicken and taffy Yeah, chicken and taffy Oh wait, it's a savory taffy. That's a whole other restaurant right there.

Holy shit. You guys have savory taffy? You guys have savory taffy? That's mint, mint jelly taffy. There we go. Oh, and it's called Laffey because it comes with lamb.

You know those restaurants you always see on Instagram where it's like the steak restaurant It's like you go there and you get It's just one thing. You get this, you get this, you get this. And it's like, that's chicken and taffy. You go.

You get the chicken. Yeah. And there's chicken. If you don't want the steak. taffy, you can opt out. You can't opt out of the taffy. Oh, okay. You can't opt out of the restaurant.

Yeah, you pay one flat price, $85. Mm-hmm. Go in, get some chicken. It's rotissory chicken off the shelf. It's a two-course tasting menu. Yeah. Yeah. First, for your first course?

Chicken. Chicken. Chicken. Chicken. Chicken for your next course and final course. For your second and final course, an unlimited, you have 60 minutes of unlimited taffey. They don't tell you, they just say it's a tasting menu.

They don't say how many courses or what it is. They say, for your first course, we have a sumptofer, we have a sumptuous, delicious, roasted chicken. And then the chef comes down and says, and I'm here to introduce to your second and final course. Taffy. Taffy. And tonight's pairing, we have a bottle of water.

You have to pay for the pair. The pairing is $1.25. Yeah, the $1.25 for a bottle of Saratoga water, the blue one. Yeah, the blue one. It matches your taffy. Mm, the blue taffy. Blueberry taffy and chicken. This is good.

I would eat that. Let's get this list. Let's see. Let's get this list open. Let's do it, Matt. Let's get this fucking shit open. We haven't done one in some time. He'll get mad at us when we don't do it. While we're waiting, we can...

This... Neem. I just did the Neem button. I put Neem in there. Dude, your questing fingers need to be tied to your side. Dude, you can start touching me whenever you want to touch the soundboard. No, I want to touch the sound board. I'll make a sound when you touch...

Because this is what... I'll play back what you did. This is what you did. Duck. It was good, though. It did sound like a duck. Duck. So this is I just figured, you know, we're speakers.

Right? We speak publicly. We speak publicly and to each other. And I found this, and I think that we certainly could improve. And I figured one way to do that would be to uh sorry bruh oh I just I'd like to improve

our speaking okay our speaking so you think we do we have issues in this this not necessarily we have issues but we could always we could always stand up

yeah I'm not yeah and it's like professional development you know yeah we should be getting better better every year after yeah yeah I'm sorry I have to share my screen here but it's loading it oh no you have to download Discord

so it's uh share your spying it's just going to take a minute here but I'll just read it out of the meantime bro This is 60 hand gestures you should be using and their meaning. Okay. So this will teach us. Is it sign language? You know who could have used this?

It's not sign language. Fucking, that South African bastard at that rally. What African bastard? Elon Musk. You called Elon Musk an African bastard? No, South African bastard. I'm not really concerned with the direction. Yeah.

What do you mean the direction? Well, the direction of his hand went fucking 90 degrees. It was probably not. I'm concerned about that direction. On that day. Do you know how to speak with your hands? Yes. Yes, I do.

You tell me. Holler and Beattie, I don't know who that is. Holler is not exactly a name for it. Holler and Beattie is like, it's like punch and Judy. These are like two. It's linked. Let's open. Yeah.

These are two wartime, like, wartime, like, Tropicando, Uncle Sam thing. Security check required. We've detected unusual activity from your network. That's fine. You've got to go through Cloud Fair to get here? Oh, it's a research paper they wrote.

Oh. Holler and Beattie. So this is legit. He found that gestures increase the value of our spoken message by 60%. Wow. The best, most charismatic speakers and influencers, us. Know the importance of using hand gestures. Leaders use specific hand gesture patterns.

That's true. So see, this is what I mean. You're kind of getting there, but we're going to train it up today. Yeah. This is pretty basic. stuff you're doing. I don't know what this was. This is okay. This is okay. And you did this. I did stop.

Push up on it. That's what you did. See, this is why I need this today. I don't know which this is stop or maybe like. You don't know the difference between stop and okay. Okay. I finally have this up on the TV so you guys can look up there. I don't know what to do with my hands. Not sure what to do with your hands. You are not alone. Sometimes it can be awkward

to talk with your hands in a natural way. My goal is to teach you purposeful hand gestures you can use naturally. And then yada, yada. yada, bu, we don't care. Let's just get into all this stuff doesn't matter. Okay. Oh, Turkey and versus America. So Turkey means, so in the, in Turkey, this is interesting, this means fuck you in Turkey.

But this means I got your nose. In America. In America, this means I got you nose. But in Turkey, this means fuck you. Yeah, this means fuck you. We're learning so much on this list. So I just figure we can go through these hand gestures. and they have little videos showing them

and then explaining how to use them. I figure we can go through and they just try using them on each other and so it feels. So this one is listing, which I thought was so perfect. Oh, yeah, yeah. So this is listing.

Okay, so that's more... I get that it's listing to me and maybe I'm some kind of a numb nuts and I don't understand things. This looks like counting to me. Let me try it out. I'm short? I'm silly.

I'm sweet. Oh, hold on. When you say words with it. See, she's not saying words in the video. All of these have explanations of how you're supposed to use it. So I appreciate the effort, but... But I fucked it up. That's not how they want you to use it.

They say anytime you say a number, do the corresponding gesture. Okay. This makes your number easier to remember for the listener. It adds movement and warmth through your body language and yada, yada, yada. 77. See, exactly. That's good. Wait, I missed it.

Yeah. One. Five. Yeah. One, two, three. Or four. Yeah. Maybe something like, if you are like listening, you're saying your phone number.

Mm. If I don't want to say their phone number. Six. That's a fun experiment. What? Zero. What is this? This is zero.

What is this? Three. There's no number. I'm not going to put, what, do you want me to do this for zero? This time we get confused. They can see my one hand and think it's one. Dude, you are always doing two or three crazy things when we're talking to each other.

You are one strange guy. Yeah. And that's the strike one. Zero. That is not, this would be. Dude, put your two hands down by your one side. I mean, two sides. All right. I'll put two of my hands

down by my one side. Good job. You follow my instructions. So that's listing. Yeah, so that's listing. It doesn't really seem like listing. There's more counting. It is more counting. So this is a tiny bit.

Okay, let's see a tiny bit. Wait, she says it when she's, okay. Well, she said a tiny bit. But that becomes the Korean heart. They say, anytime you want to emphasize a small point, show it. This is my favorite itty-bitty hand gesture. This is my favorite anybody hand gesture. Yeah, so they're giving us a sense to practice with.

See, what I would do is go. Yeah, I would do this for tiny, not, hmm. This is sort of like tiny, this is tiny in a dismissive way. Emphasize a small point. This is tiny, like, look how awesome and tiny this, whatever this says is. Maybe when they say a small point, maybe you're supposed to use it like this. Maybe you're supposed to say, I just sharpen my pencil. Oh.

This is what I would do for tiny bit. Your hat went over your eyes. That was a scary. You actually just like a tiny bit. You actually just became a full human Muppet the way that you did that. I did hurt my tooth. You bit like a Muppet. I bit my fake part of my tooth and it hurt really bad.

I'm sorry, man. Dude, I'm more than a little concerned about you. Thank you. I hope that your one tooth is okay. I'm only concerned a big bit. Your one tooth. I'm concerned about your one tooth. Your little one tooth.

What's the next one here? This is listen up. Listen up. Okay. Whoa. Let me see it again. But she didn't speak. Again, these are hand gestures.

But she needs to say, if she's going to say, listen up. We're the ones who speak, Pet. Okay. This is a very strong gesture, so use it with caution. The sound and motion draws attention and lets people know what I am about to say is important. I need to go to the bathroom. Well, no, you would have to do it before. You have to do it before.

I need to go to the bathroom. Or maybe you're supposed to do it before. Maybe you're supposed to go. I need to go to the bathroom That's what I thought That's what I did You did it after I did it after

I need to go to I need to go to A little bathroom To go number one A little bit See that looks good Guys listen I need to go

Number one A little A little bit Not that much That's good Clenched hand Well see Oh this one has no video

They have no video They just have this man Anytime you have a solid fist shaking it at someone or punching it in the air, you're showing intensity. Use it alongside a very important point. Be careful when using this gesture with an irritated voice because it can

come off as anger. I need to go to the bathroom really bad. It doesn't have to be angry? I guess not. It just might come off that way. Listen. I need to go to the bathroom really bad. I need to go to a little bathroom. A little bathroom. I need to go to the bathroom. Well, that's just

banging on the door. Are you supposed to shake your fit? Yeah, shaking it. It says shaking it or punching it in the air. This is more like Success Kid. It looks I need to go to the bathroom. Yes. I need to go to the bathroom. A little bit. Listen up.

Guys, everybody, listen up. Yes. I need to go to the bathroom a little bit. There we go. That was good. It's really good. That was really good. You're really mastering talking with your hands.

It's going to help out. This is everything. Okay. Now, I've never seen this before. Listen up. Move everything. I need to go to the bathroom. I need to go to the bathroom.

go to the bathroom a little bit. Want to make a big grand gesture and the everything gesture is your go-to. Alternate, this can also be used to say you are wiping the slate clean or pushing something out of the line. Guys, I need to wipe, push everything out of the way

and I'm going to go to the bathroom and I'm going to wipe everything. I'm going to wipe everything. Wipe everything. I'm going to wipe my number two off everything. Off of my one. I'm going to wipe my number two

off of my one. If it gets on it a little bit. Number two is going to get on my one A little bit So listen up Move everything I'm sorry for letting my number two Get on everything

Listen up I only clean it a little bit To wipe everything I promise to what guys listen up Move to a different bar Because I'm going to make two A little bit That's good

And I won't wipe This will help us I think Small, medium, and large. This seems useful for our current kind of line of small, medium, large. Oh, so it's going, it's like height. Small, medium, large. I have a small cousin, a medium cousin, and a large cousin. Yeah.

And they need to then move everything out of the way because they love to wipe. They love to wipe. For example, you can use the high version along with, it's a pretty big deal. So you can go, I guess, it's a pretty big deal. Yeah. Or the low version with he's low man on the totem pole. Or who's saying that a lot, though? Why is a low man on the totem pole?

If you ever say that, it's useful. Okay. Listen up. I want to, to. This is a TED talk. I want you to listen up. That is what they are saying. They use that as an example.

Is it TED talks that do more hands? Yeah, here's what you do. Yeah, it's a TED talk. So I go, oh, and this guy in the audience, excuse me, sir, what, listen up, sir. What is your name? I'm the low man on the totem pole. No, you're not supposed to say that. So, anyway, we'll move on.

Let me tell you. Let me tell you. Let me tell you. Move everything. I need to wipe a little bit. Pointing should be used with caution. I want to wipe a little bit. Guys, I want to wipe a little bit.

It warns you to use this gesture with caution just so you know. It says it should be used with caution. and we don't like to be pointed at because it can be seen as accusatory or invasive. I guess if someone's up on a stage. If someone is up high above you

pointing. Well, at the TED Talk, maybe you do that and you say, and I've brought, and let me tell you, I brought my lovely assistant. My friend in a high place

who's a low man on the totem pole. Yeah, he was the low man, but it's up high now. I asked him to bring me a medium coffee. And guys, he brought me a little number one.

Move everything on the menu so that he can land on the stage with my coffee. But we've wiped the slate clean. He was low, now he's high. Yes. Just starting to get this. He's a little bit. I'm starting to get this. We got just a part. This one has no video either. Guys, I moved everything. I went to but it was just apart. So I need to go back.

Back. And wipe. It was small. I need to go back and wipe. I need to go back and wipe because it was just a part. I really like this next one that I just saw. I am magnanimous. This is very useful because this is a sentiment I'm always trying to express. Kind of a crucifixion. It is a very godlike pose. Use it when making a grand gesture.

Now, it says how to use here, a few ways to implement these gestures. First, try out one or two at a time. Too many at once is overwhelming. Second, I would use them on the phone first where no one can see you so you can practice and try without being worried about how you look. don't we call someone and try it out and let them know I'm magnanimous Who should we call?

I don't know. Who's in your phone? I did the last five calls. You get, you get a call here. I don't want to do the call. You have to, you're the call boy.

Why am I the call boy? You're the call boy. You're the call boy. You know what brought it up, dude. Let's have you call someone, call the most famous person in your contacts and try and tell them that you're magnanimous. The most famous person.

The most famous person in your contacts. I don't have famous people in my contacts, dude. And remember this gesture. Do this gesture. They won't be able to see it, but they'll hear that you're doing this. Just practice it. Just practice, yeah. Practice being magnanimous on the phone.

Contact. I don't have anybody. You do. No. Just call the first person you think of. Just call it like a pizza restaurant. That would be delicious having pizza right now. It's true.

It would be delicious to have pizza right now. I can see in his face he's trying to find somebody. Let's move. Let's look at the next one. he's working on it. Okay, growth. This guy's kind of giving walk like an Egyptian to me. That does look a little bit mummified.

My number two is growing. My number two has grown. In my belly. I don't have anybody. My belly, my number two has. Dude, it's okay. I'll close my eyes and you pretend you're- Call Joe.

No, no, no. I close my eyes. Why didn't you call him then? My phone is ringing. My phone is ringing. Call Joe Leeson. Okay. Okay.

Okay, Joe's auto repair. Call them. He just texted. I'll call him. What, he'd text you, bro. Dude, call me. What's up? Hey, Joe.

I just wanted to say that I'm magnanimous right now, and I have a little bit of something to share with you. I took just a part of the small guy on the totem pole. And everything is, and you need to listen up because. What? I'm being pretty clear. Okay, Joe, hey, Joe, you know, let's go mask. We're here too. Now, I just want to just do a quick, like, questionnaire about that experience.

Did you feel like I was magnanimous? Did you feel, could you feel what Pat was saying? No. You did? Did you think he was being more powerful of a speaker? No, it felt like he was being less sure of himself than ever before. Ever before. Interesting.

And if you had to guess, what would you say is the difference between that phone call that you and Patrick just had and every other? phone calling you've ever had. What do you think he was doing? It felt like he was thinking about what he was saying a lot more than he normally would. That would be my read on this. If you had to guess what he was trying out, like what technique was it, is it semen retention? What do you think he was doing that was changing stuff? To me, it sounded like he was trying to say magnanimous in a sentence. You think I use magnanimous too much? I've never heard you say it before.

You've never heard me say it. No. You've never heard me say I am magnanimous. Joe, let me tell you, I just want to tell you something really quick. I am magnanimous. So just listen up. I want to tell you that before we do everything, I just, a small part of it is that I'm high.

It's confusing. It was confusing? You don't think it clear? I was more clear than normal. How about this? How about this, Joe? I, I'm going to be honest, I need to wipe. I need to wipe everything.

So listen up. Are you listening a tiny bit? I'm listening a full, a full bit. Full bit. We don't know full bit. We don't know how to do full bit. Don't do full bit. So just stop with that.

But I basically, I wiped everything. Okay. So what did you think of my, did that sound normal? Who had the most normal sounding, or actually the best one? Whose was better than who felt most like a leader? Um. I guess Cameron

Nice You sort of seem to be taking initiative in order to clear up what Patrick was saying Well I would say my own thing But I appreciate that I appreciate everything you said And I appreciate it more

My appreciation grows From just apart to a little bit To number top 10 Joe I think that you just went From the low guy on the totem pole To the medium guy I did Yo, and can I be honest with you

In the past year, I've seen no growth I think I'm a natural leader Okay, hang up on Joe Okay, so we're not We're not there yet Yeah, it's gonna take practice We'll call them back We'll call them back once we

Go through this whole list We should just start calling Joe every episode Oh wait, dude, we missed that This is why we weren't being good leader We didn't learn this one yet Or this and that Me Me

Wait, this one I just saw. Okay, this gesture is you. And this is you. I'm just going to read the special note here. Okay. Special note, be sure to do this purposefully. I once was standing next to a woman who was overweight, and the man we were speaking with was talking about fast food and kept gesturing at her.

She started to back away. It was a subconscious and incredibly offensive gesture. That's not good. Yeah, so we're eating fast food. Got fast food. Specifically this gesture. I'm not even looking at her really just knowing she's at. Yeah, so we, uh, the other day, oh, we were hungry.

Yeah, we got some fast food. Maybe he was really hungry and she started to look like a burger. Maybe that was it. Yeah, a big, big burger. I'm ready. What is this? I'm ready. I'm ready. It's just so.

I've never seen this one. It's just so. It's just so delicious. Ah, that's probably what they mean. My fast food is just so delicious. Mm-hmm. I'm not hiding anything. You listen to me.

It's got to be this. But you listen to me is that these are really strange. This is P I'm playing the P&O. I would say this is Ray Charles. Oh, see, we need to learn this one too. Stop. See, I got this one confused earlier with okay. Caleb.

What's that? Stop. Stop this. You listen to me. Caleb, look at me. You don't. Stop. Stop everything. Stop wiping.

Okay. Can I flush or no? No. Stop. Stop. Stop. Because, because, scroll down. Because we stopped. Wiping? Everything. We stopped wiping. Number two. I stopped wiping two. You stopped two. All right. I think there are a lot more of these.

I'm looking at the scroll bar right now. I don't think we need to go through. I'm victorious. All right. Let's call him back. This is deep. No, no,

no, now we know. This is one of Kevin O'Leary's favorites. We have to stop with the phone calls. We have to stop calling. Phone calls are fun, though. Ray bird whistle who studied body movements. Ray bird whistle.

What else are going to do? do with your life. Yeah. Oh, it's on Google books. This is some real... Body language for dummies. The link to the guy who studied body language.

Damn, we should buy some for dummies books. We could probably write one. We should write it for dummies part. They definitely don't do a ton of vetting for the authors of the for dummies. No, Elizabeth Kunkle. Is that her name?

I don't know. Kunkah? I have no idea what her name is. Well, Caroline Beery and Maria Javeh, who opened my eyes to diversity. It's in the acknowledgement. And Neil Ginger.

For photos of fun. Neil Ginger. That's a good name. Neil Ginger. Neil Ginger. Handgun steeple. I mean, there's just the problem. What I'm learning here is that we are not even ready. We haven't even scratched this, sir.

This is, I am important. Because it's like, suck on my day. He's the only one. He's the only one. Low man on the totem pole. Low man on the totem pole. We're high up. Dude, I think.

Hey, buddy. no Turkish? I think genuinely, I can't get out of this hunch because I think I'm, the three hours of sleep from the plane is making me die like a bug. Okay. We can stop. We can stop it. Just really quick, what do you think of this?

The behavior panel, did she see a UFO? Jane Green of the Bercher. This is an example of the trust me gesture. Okay. She's saying she, trust me? She's saying trust me, I saw UFO. Okay. Oh, well, you know, if we're,

Oh, this one's... For ending, I mean... This one's easy. Perfect. Hello? Wait, you're not waving. No, it's a still picture. Goodbye.

Okay, bye, everybody. Bye. I, I want... I literally, I want the cacophonous sound of... I want them both to go. I want my songs to be playing while one of my... This shit is so real, you need two microphones. Mm-hmm.

I want my... my songs to be playing while one of these fucking people that I know their Instagram stand-up clip is playing. I want to hear my friend being like so, have you guys ever noticed that and in the background all you hear is

stuff like that. That's what I want to hear. That's what I want to hear. And I'm sick and tired. I'm sick and tired of these corporate pigs. We need to rise up. We need to get up. We need to go to these people's houses and ring their necks and hang them like halal meat we need to hang them

we're gonna hang them in their homes these fucking pig people these people are pigs and they're going to slaughter and all of that is a joke welcome to the future in the future people people will be killed by Patrick