Podcast About List - Ep. 363 - $30 of Hot Fudge

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

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Wow, who's going to clap? I'll clap. Oh, my God. It's just not the same. Yeah. The clap is just, he's just so good at clapping. He's really good at clapping. What do you need to be on the record?

Yeah, you said you wanted to start recording so something could be on the record. This POV makes it look like one of those screenshots where Cameron is huge and Picel of is really, really tiny. Cameron is huge and I am tiny. Is this, this is the wide shot? Yeah. Bro, why is it like this?

I don't know. I didn't even look at it. Yeah. I'm fine with it. Whatever. We can... Here, wait, make sure to text Patrick to let him know that we're recording. Because we are about to fall victim to a prank.

Yeah, so basically we said we were going to record at 630. Then me and Caleb had to go and check on something. And so it was around 650. We weren't started recording yet, and I got a phone call from... FaceTime audio. a phone call from Patrick who was texted this morning. He said he was, I'm so sick.

I'm so sick. My throat is fucked. And then he on the phone said, he picked up, he went, Are you guys recording? Yeah. And then I said, no, we're not. Or he said, hello.

And I said, what's up? He said, are you guys recording? I said, no, we're not recording. So let's give him a call back. He hung up. So I'm just going to text his location. He's at his apartment. We're recording now.

But I really feel that we're about to fall victim. to a prank in somewhere. Me too. It immediately gave me such a strange feeling. Yeah, I don't like the idea that something may have. If I lean back, is this look okay? Not really. Is it? Am I even in frame? Dude, this is all a disaster since he left. I know. Well, at least I got my light. closer to you. Yeah. Blast that. Do you think this is cool? It's actually kind of hurts. If I put this, if I came brought you to my house, you were a girl. If I brought this, uh, you to my house, I said it again. If I brought you to my house and I had these all

over my house. I said, yeah, the vibe I'm kind of going for is aquarium. I kind of can't even look at it even in my peripheral. Oh my God. It is bright. It's, oh my God. I can't do that. All right. All right. I'll turn it off. But you do think it's a neat item, right? It's very cool. I can't, these days, light is, I'm like a bat when it comes to light in terms of... The bats don't like light. Yeah, I guess. Okay.

Or I'm like a... Vampire? Vampires only don't like sunlight, though. Dude, I watched... I watched Brom Stoker's Dracula, the one with Gary Oldman. Brom. What do you call him? Bram.

Bram Stoker. Isn't it short for Abraham? I don't know much about the guy. Um... well anyway I haven't seen that you haven't seen it no it's terrible

the copolo one I didn't know yeah Keanu Reeves is in it and Winona Ryder right Winona Ryder's in it yeah all the outfits are all

it's a very it's all very sex which people say about the new Dracula sexual romance I didn't see that crap the Nosferatu oh yeah

yeah nosferatu okay yeah that well that one had sex or sexual and I hear his weenies out his weenies out in a scene or two

it's dark gray yeah most everything's dark gray in that movie that's what i've heard as well yeah and you see nipples as well yeah you see a couple of those drool drool some drool ew drooling i like drool in movies but only from a monster's mouth not from not normal average i'm so tense that my phone's going to start ringing and turn me too i feel i feel i feel so scared i don't know what could possibly oh why does he do that what could happen through a face time audio people this is what you have you ever talked to your parents about what it was like to go to be in the Cold War, be in public

school, and they had to do the drills or they have to jump under a desk as if that's going to save them from a nuclear bomb. That's how I feel right now is that, yes, the feeling that at any given moment... And the, yeah, the scariest part of it to me is that he is at his house. Me too. What could happen?

What is he? Now, he lives quite close, but what could he be doing? But he was at his house when he called. My guess is that he's going to say, he's called to say, like, are you guys recording? And then he begins his journey. Because he didn't want to be seen in whatever he's wearing because he's definitely wearing

something. You know what he's trying to do? He's trying to bring back the costumes. Remember when we used to jump on Zoom and I would be dressed as a chef or some shit or he'd be dressed as a minion? I'm also, we have a curtain over the door and it's locked so I'm really afraid I'm just going to hear the door starts to move. I'm not going to be so scary.

It's going to be so fucking scary. I'm so honest. Let's look at his location again. Is he still at home since I got some work? God, I hope so. Let's see. But it's a really great to have his location on. I wish I had all my friends' locations and I could watch them like little ants. I think is he on his way? I think he's on the move.

Oh, man. He's definitely not in his apartment right now. He's not in his, because there's the deli and he's a little, well, it says he's right in the middle of the street, which I guess he could be in that. But it is not moving right now.

I'm not seeing any motion. I'm not, I'm not seeing any motion. Well, there's a, there's a shocker. Do you want to just call him? You don't just call him back? Well, if he's trying to do something, I don't want to, I want to get God, I guess. Like in somewhat, but I'm not sure. I'm going to give him 10 minutes and I'm going to call. And then we'll get my call. Dude, okay. So what I told you about my new watch, right? Yeah, it stretches. That stretches. I got this at an antique store for my wife's birthday.

Took her a bunch of antique stores. You got that for your wife's birthday. She didn't buy fucking anything. She did not buy a single thing. I'm getting a FaceTime audio. From him? Yeah. Okay.

Let me put this on speaker, I guess. All right. Now at ease. Okay. Wait, how to... Okay, you're... Hello? Hey, man.

You good? Hey, what's up? Hello? Hey, buddy. Wow, you're... Are you guys here to me? Yeah, what's going on? Yeah, what's going on?

on? Get closer to your phone to it. I'm not going to make it. What? To the episode recording? Yeah, we know, man. You said, you told us.

You texted us this morning, said you're not going to make it. Yeah, we know. So it's not a big deal. So what else is this phone call about? I met outside. I was, what did you say? I'm in Mount Sinai. You're in Mount Sinai?

Like biblically? Yes. Like sermon on the Mount Mount Sinai? Yes, they're putting dirt on me. Oh my God! Oh my God! Wait, Pat, can I tell you something? What happened?

Okay, so you called us before, and we were so scared that a prank was going to happen, right? We've been sitting here. We've been fucking. shaking in our boots, waiting for you to prank us. Now, as you said, I'm at Mount Sinai, the curtain that we have to cover the front door fell down. Oh, my God. And it really scared us.

That's crazy. It really, really scared me. So you're not planning on jumping in here. You're actually sick? No, I am actually sick, yeah. Fuck, man. I really was... Did you hear the hospital sounds at all?

Does that even come from there? I heard the beeping, but I'm not going to lie. We already told everybody that you were at your apartment. because we were so expecting we're so confident that you're about to run in dressed as as Red Skull that we didn't put it on the glass

that we we said that you were at home we were preempting the prank because we were so scared of it no I'm actually sick oh fuck you man I don't get sick man so this is going to be bad how long do you think you have not in life but in

for on the sick three days in life you think you have three three three days left of life. Yeah, I'm going to pass away soon. That'd be really sad. Who do you think is the most famous person that would make an Instagram post about you

if you died? Sean McCarthy. That'd be awesome. What is that sound? Nothing, man. Don't fucking worry about it, bro. Just get some rest. Why are you even up?

It's damn near. You know, my watch is broken. We're on our couch too, man. Yeah, dude. I can feel your presence here. What? Okay. That's fake.

The problem was when you called earlier, the coughs. That one wasn't fake. I wish it was fake. The cough sounded so fake. Being sick is gay. Okay. What is that? What do you mean by that?

By the way, you're just on the podcast now. You are just doing the show. That's a good point. So you're not really resting up very much. I still have to make dinner. Dude, me too. And I'm not even sick. They got you making dinner when you're sick?

Well, my girlfriend isn't home. Oh, okay. So I've no one to take care of me except for Noah. You want me to order you some soup? You want me to grubhub you some soup? No. Okay. Do you like soup?

That was such a kind thing that I offered to do it. I hate soup, bro. What do you like when you're sick? Oh, but I love foe. That's soup. It's soup, man. Wait, I love fur, though. So I cash app you $20 so you can order foe.

What was that? Yeah, what do you watch? You're watching a video while you're calling us. You guys are boring already. I don't even. Dude, I'm going to Apple cash you $20. Right now. Dude, go ahead.

My life sucks anyway. It doesn't even matter I'll have to pay you back for that too Because my fucking life is such crap What is that? Why would you have to pay me back Because your life sucks It wants me to verify my identity Everything in your life goes wrong

Yeah see they already want you to verify your identity Everything in my life turns to shit It actually is completely okay And you're fine I'm watching the Instagram reels Of that guy that goes up to women How are you watching Instagram Reels on the phone? You have a nice phone.

Technology is amazing nowadays. What are the Instagram Reels? The guy that walks up to women with the meta glasses. I don't know that. He does Riz techniques. But give me an example. Wait, why did you? Don't send me $30.

Why? Why did you send me 30? Because I'm trying to be nice. you're sick. To get fah, bro. Why'd you send me $30? Shut the fuck up. Dude, it's for your fah.

You don't need to be making dinner. You don't, you want fah. Maybe. It'll be very nice and aromatic. It will be aromatic. It has green leaves in it, a live leaves. Probably. Three bean fuh, that's a good idea.

Nobody said that, but yeah, that's a... Try that out. Three bean foe, what would the beans be? I don't know. Canalini? That's the wrong. You said eggs? Baked.

Baked beans? Canolini? None of those have anything to do with Vietnamese food, man. Yeah, I know. It's called Fusion, bro. Why are you so obsessed with Asian Fusion? I don't know, but I do make a lot of it in my personal life. You make a lot of Asian Fusion.

What's the last Asian Fusion meal that you, think you made. I made a Vietnamese steak salad. That's a crazy thing to make at your house. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, it's a little strange. It wants to you immediately. How is that strange? It's simple. But don't you, do you just, you don't make, like, sandwiches or, like, maybe if you go crazy,

you make a steak. I do. But you don't, I don't make, I don't make this kind of stuff all the time. It kind of sounds like you make it all the time. You definitely do. I don't make it all the time. You made an et tufe. I never made an et tufe. What are you talking about?

Yeah, you did, man. You made an et tufei. You made steak burnets. I never made it. You made mini-Willingtons. Yeah, you did make mini-Welingtons. You made a paella. I never made a paella.

But you have plans to make a paella. No, I don't even have a paella pan. You made plant-based Osobucco. No. You did. I did make satan ribs for my VEA. That's what you're talking about. Okay, let's not get into just trashing on your ex on live television.

You're trashing her. You're saying, oh, yeah, I had to go make her vegan fucking bullshit. Leave her out of this, dude. Why do you always bring her up, man? It's not right. It's not normal. I'm talking about my culinary ex exploits. Oh, when you said X, you meant exploits.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I understand. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, dude, will you just leave us alone so me and Cameron can kind of cook here a little bit without you. Dude, I've been in my house for so long.

I'm bored. You guys are boring knees. Do you want us to just hook up a third mic and just set the phone next to it? I don't know. I mean, I guess I could do a call in. Oh, you kind of already are. You've been doing it for 10 minutes. You don't even have the recorder on right.

I know you're faking. What would be? Okay, now you are here. Okay. So what I was saying, Pat, I got a new watch. You got a new watch. Yeah, I got a new watch.

It's flexible technology. But, okay, here's the thing about this new watch. I got it when I was at this place. And the guy running the antique store, this is an old guy. I was like, this guy's a moron. I can scam this guy. How much for this watch?

And I didn't know anything about this watch. And he said, $75. And I said, okay. And I learned to this from an old YouTube short. Yeah. Where I said, okay, how much for this? this. And I showed him a lens that I wanted to buy for a Canon camera that was in there. And he was like, uh, that is 50 bucks. And I was like, okay. Uh, will you do a package deal?

And he said, yeah, sure. How about 100 bucks for both of them? And I was like, yes, dude. Oh, my God. I just scan this old man. I got the watch and this thing for 50 bucks each. And then I leave and I looked it up and I found out this watch costs about $30 and the lens cost about. 10. Damn. Yeah. Dude, you want to hear?

That sucks. I'm just an idiot. Here's a bargaining trick I learned for me too. I'm not good at bargaining. Here's a YouTube shorts bargaining trick. Check this one out. You're going to want to use this. You're going to need to use this.

Next time you're in there. Say you want to buy this watch. He says 75. You say, okay. How about this? How about you have a coin in your pocket? Okay. Take a coin out.

You say, how about I flip this coin. Oh. Heads, I'll pay you $100 for this. But tails, you got to give me for $25 bucks. He agrees, you flip it, it lets heads, you leave. You don't buy it. Oh, that's smart. Yeah.

That's really. Actually, never mind. I saw somebody do that on YouTube shorts buying a Pokemon car. That's really smart. And get yelled at really badly. I mean, you know, whatever. But it's a really, it's really funny. It's a smart idea.

That is smart. Why would you even yell at the person for walking away? Yeah. You said, how would you? Why would you? It's like, okay, just go about your day. I mean, I would just laugh, I feel like. Yeah, it would be funny.

Yeah, I think it was also, I think it was a kid doing it also. I saw a great Instagram short earlier today where a guy passed by an old man and says, excuse me, ma'am. And the old guy says, the hell did you call me a man for? And he's like, what do you mean? Ma'am, I didn't need to be offensive. I'm sorry, ma'am. And then the guy, the old guy punches him in the face.

Wow. And then they square up to fight. And then they fight for a little bit. And he's like, yeah, you still want to. me old man and the old guy who got really offended says actually this is kind of funny and then they stopped and then they hugged i was like that's nice i've been getting a ton of facebook reels about um the demonic legions and the most powerful angels can you tell me a little bit about it yeah it'll be like top six most powerful angels in the realm of god and then it'll be like

AI videos of really buff naked guys walking and it will be like Michael and then it'll also there'll be a bunch where it's like crazy AI demons and it will be like the secret that most people don't know about the legion of demons is that they still walk the earth and even once terrified Adam himself in the Garden of Eden. Really? And they're just like really warm. Even you saying that it was

a bit. It's really intriguing. They're really good videos. I don't. And I also, I got into them because I got started getting recommended them because I was watching. I got into a huge subgenre on Facebook, which is, um, is that my phone going? Might be mine. Um, it was mine. which is

African church African preachers exercising animal hybrids Oh wow It'll be like a like African congregation And then the preacher Like is laying on hands

On like a woman who has like the body Of a scorpion or something And I've gotten maybe like 10,000 of like there's like They are just turned them out I remember even before And they all said the caption It'll usually have like a guy Like a guy in front of it

Like he's like has it behind him And the captain The person I saw I said Don't watch this video while eating And it was like a woman with a dog's body Like climbing up the wall There's one video that I've seen That is in this genre

That I think it I think predates like Sora and shit And it was a guy who had the body of a goat Uh huh Or he had horns and he was Oh the legs of a goat The legs of it that's what it is Yeah The legs of a goat and it's and I guess maybe

a guy is holding a goat underneath him. But I really thought it was an amazing video. The guy, the dude playing the goat man was an amazing actor. Yeah. He was really selling it that he was, his like eyes rolling back in the back of his head. And he's like, oh my God, it's so fucking,

it sucks being a fucking goat. Yeah, but luckily preachers and priests can cure this type of thing almost easily. But how does that work? Is that sort of a slower process? The curing is basically, yeah, you have to ask yourself what the preacher is asking God who is saying,

yeah please get rid of this yeah please put this back God why did you do this we don't like this down here and is it is it really like a bad is it bad to have a goat's legs I don't think it's in here I guess the goat is a satanic animal right

not really but it's but a goat is Satan is a half goat right he's got goat horns and hooves well but that's like a not not not in the not in the what do you know why they pick the

goat the theology dude because they're trying to say Satan's the goat that's what's wrong with our culture oh hell no man true what's the guy from the witch the goat from the witch black Steve black Philip black Steve black Steve is going to come in

Minecraft too we'll see black Steve wait isn't Steve from Minecraft already at least mixed again this comes up to we were talking about this last week this is the kind of thing that only you know or care about What?

The race of Steve? He's mixed. That's what you're thinking? Yeah, that's what I was seeing online. I was seeing online people complaining. People online were complaining that they whitewashed Steve by making him Jack Black. Well, Jack Black is mixed. Half his name is black.

And the other half's Jack. Yeah. I've met some Jacks in my day. What's that mean? What does that mean, man? From Jackalonia. What does that mean? You are sick.

Jacks from Jackalonia. You are. you have a fever check the fever live on the show yeah I don't have a fever oh well then you should be here you're not what do you mean you're on a fever man

do you hear myself right now bro this is honestly swear to God this is not dissimilar to how you normally speak I literally cannot speak for a long period of time without coughing you that's a fake call you're such a faker man

I'm not faking I'm still holding out hope that you're going to show up you know okay can I say one thing real quick can I say one thing real quick to about my character your character I'm sick right now but technically I still have shown up to work

what do you feel like that says about your character that I'm a hard worker and I'm committed to this show, like some people who eat bad meat and then have to leave for six days. Well, it's not like a seven-day job, you know what I mean? To me, it is. I guess you are in here kind of seven days a week. Yeah, you are in here more than any day. Every single day I'm in there, and I can't go in there, and it's pissing me off.

But eating bad meat is, I would say, a little bit different. Okay, someone took a slight. someone took offense to this. I did not take offense to it. But what I am saying is that right now, when I was sick with food poisoning, if I had called in, I would have been...

Hold on. Why do you eat bad meat so much? What do you mean? That's the second time I ever had food poisoning. No, you constantly are like, I ate food that was left out too long, or like... Honestly, you want to know for real it runs in my family.

Food poisoning? My mom will order Chick-fil-A. Dude, hey, wait, here's a quick long for you, bro. Diarrhea, it runs in your jeans. Whoa, that's good. My mom will go pick up Chick-fil-A when everybody's home for Christmas. She'll go pick up Chick-fil-A at 8 in the morning. She'll put it on the counter and be like, everybody, come get some chick-fil-A.

She'll leave it there all day. And then at 11 p.m., right before she goes to sleep, she'll eat a chicken biscuit that has been sitting out for damn near 13 hours. Yeah. If you reheat it, though, is it okay? I don't think so. I don't think it is, no. Oh, right, because the- You have to refrigerate it for it to be...

I learned about this from Bar Rescue. And also, I would hope you're Serves Safe Certified, man. You worked at Cracker Barrel. I was not Serve Safe Certified. You can't even say it. You said that the exact same as me. You had some pause. You didn't have any sort of food safety training?

I'd like to see you with pause. I don't think I worked at anywhere long enough to get Food Safe certified. I think you're supposed to do that too. second that you have a job. That's interesting. An online class takes like two minutes. Oh, wait a minute. I took a lot of online classes. You probably did, yeah.

Yeah. Well, that was the thing. I got like food safe certified or whatever, or I guess something along the lines. And then also I had to take like a bunch of courses on the history of that restaurant. What? That's an important certification. You actually have to do that for everywhere you were.

You have to take courses on the history of Clover Food Lab. At Clover Food Lab, they were making me... We should have made you take a test to start working here. We're going to make you take a test to return to work. Yeah. Okay. But they were making me do like... It was like, what fast food chain did the CEO of the company work at

in order to inspire him to start the restaurant? What was the answer? It was Burger King. Wow. Okay. Test for a podcast about List, you working here. Okay. What project did Caleb and Cameron want to do before we started doing the podcast?

What project did you want to do? Was it the... No, no, this was a Cameron Solo thing, but it was like the forum posts of, like, people on 9-11? Dude, no, you're way off base. We wanted to make a video game about ghosts. Yeah, that's true. Okay. I was thinking about that earlier that.

I was thinking about you and me. This was like the fifth thing that we were going to do. The first four were all different things. And one of them was a video game that was basically Pokemon, but with ghosts. Yeah, there was a whole ghost-style video game. Like Luigi's Mansion? No, you idiot. It is a J-R-P-G.

Okay. We wanted to make a J-R-PG about ghosts. But it was humor. This is the first time I'm ever hearing about this. This is the first time I'm remembering about it. Me too. It struck me like a lightning bolt today. Yeah, that is a lightning bolt.

And I was like, wow. See, that doesn't, that doesn't even count because you have never told me about it. So that's a trick question. Well, it's not a trick question. It's not a trick. It's not a trick. I didn't try to trick you. It's a hard question. It's a hard question.

You could have known. You maybe you could have asked this before, like, was the podcast the very first thing? Did you guys ever want to make any video games or anything? He was like the RPDs. Yeah. Okay, I have, okay, I have, so you failed the first question. Yeah. But I got the second question for you.

only need to get like 50%. What is podcast host Patrick Doran's favorite food? Oh, man. That that changes yearly, man. Correct. It changes yearly.

It changes yearly, man. You're exactly right. Man, what kind of trivia about the show that he maybe wouldn't know? I don't even know what I don't know. well yeah I don't realize that makes sense

I'm probably you're probably you guys don't even realize you're asking the lore keeper right now are you the lore keeper? Do you consider yourself the lore

of this show? Yes. What's the deepest piece of lore Okay what's a piece of trivia that we can ask you that you don't know y'all we got to make the PAL iceberg what's at the very bottom

of the pal iceberg with the very scary picture of the dolphin first of all the ghost video for sure that's definitely Yeah, the ghost video game. I don't think that was public knowledge. Oh, the Manhattan Institute DM.

I don't know what there is, bro. Yeah, Cameron, you did it. I did it? Oh, no. What is it? It's always a bad song when it's something I did, and I don't remember it. It always means something really bad.

You DM the Manhattan Project, the Manhattan Institute, and you saw you said was... What is the Manhattan Institute? You said activate neutron bomb. Wait, that's something you would consider to be lower. That's lower because that was at Neal's Lakehouse. Okay.

I don't remember this at all. Activate neutron bomb. You knew it word for word? I think, well, dude, stay a fan. I think that's what it said. I think that's what it said. This is back before I was on the show. This is when I was social media manager.

Yeah. Activate neutron bomb. That is pretty good. That is the Manhattan Institute. I don't even know what that is, man. I don't either. Here's a DM here to Jack Posobiac. Who's that?

I don't remember who that is. He works for Turning Point USA. Oh, okay, all right. Yeah. So when is his friend? This is here under Erica Kern. Jack Posobic. This is a message that I forget who said this, but it said, where do you live, question mark?

want to mail a parcel to which he responded by blocking us immediately. Damn, that's really rude of him. I mean, yeah, who can say what the intention was behind that? I think these guys existed rudeness.

They thrive in it. I know, yeah. Yeah, that's kind of their whole MO. Yeah. Do you have any other deep lore that you want to drop, dude? We are blocked by, or no, not blocked, but, okay, never mind.

Lucifer on Netflix. We sent them a bunch of DMs and just said, Demon, demon, be gone demon. Come back from what she came. Repents sin. Repents sin. That's pretty funny. They blocked us?

No, no. You just can't. They closed the DMs because of us, most likely. Anything else good in there? Let me see here. He's, He's right now he's licking his fingers and going through a filing cabinet. Yeah.

I'm going through my, I'm going through the lore. You have a whole lore. You're in your tower right now, the tower in your apartment. I guess the show is old enough to have lore at this point. Dude, it's fucking old. Isn't that crazy how old it is?

It's an old program, man. Almost coming up on seven years. At some point, yeah. We should be reckoned with as an institution. I kind of, I mean, I constantly am saying this,

but I really feel that there must be a way for us to legally become an institute. You've said this before. I've said this maybe for the past three years. Have you ever looked into what that requires? How am I supposed to look into it? That's a good point. What am I supposed to do?

I'm just me. Yeah. Just little camera. Looking into turning us into an institute? Right. Remember Cameron has been saying this for at least two years. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, or just any time that we talk about, like, what's next for the show, you're

always like, Well, we could become a research institute. Yeah. Which I don't think is a bad idea. We basically are. I think we are. I think we've added to... We've added to the world.

Dude, here's the next phase for the show. We change the name from podcast about list to the IRG, the internet research group. Institute. It has to be an institute, not a group. A group makes to sound like a pack. We should start a pack. pack. Yeah.

We should start trying to lobby. We should be an NGO. We are an NGO. Technically, by the definition of the name. Nonprofit. NGO,

non-governmental organization. Oh, yeah. But it's usually non-profits are. Sure, but are we part of the government? I guess we're not.

Are we an organization? Surely we can be. Maybe we're but we should become paramilitary. Here's a good one. I'm down. Yeah.

This is to Blue Lives Matter, New York. Okay. Hello, want to report a crime. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. What happened to protect and serve? You cannot message this person because you were not verified.

Damn. Oh, well, that might blue. They're not talking about police lives when they say blue lives matter. Here's one. Carl's Jr. Hello, Carl. I have a complaint about your restaurant on 1137 Regal Road in Encinitas. let's hear it the food was too good

did they respond oh what that's really good that's such a layup for them man I know that's right that's right the look at the food was too good maybe the food was too good man

I like Burger King yeah that was Carl's Jr though Yeah. Yeah, but I like Burger King. Carl's Jr., I don't even, I actually can't even understand that because it's Hardee's to me. Yeah, I don't even remember anything about the world.

Hardee's was only, that was the only breakfast place for me growing up. Yeah. Oh, so you were talking to someone? Uh-oh. What? Are you talking to somebody? Don't worry about it.

No. Here's a DM to Lil Pump. Really? Why are you called that? It's a very good question It's a good question No you don't know For sure

I mean it could be I mean look We all have an idea in our head It's probably sexual in nature But it could be hand soap I mean you'd hope it's hands soap Or a stump pump Like in the basement

Maybe he's very into bicycles Yeah Or shoes Yeah All right here's the last one I'll read This is to Subway Mind you this is in 2019 So this is probably a lot funnier back then

All right first DM is from us do you think that this is funny grow up and then they said do we think what is funny and then we said I'm really not satisfied with this

what was it a PR stunt and then it's just the news article for the Jared focal thing and it says you cannot message this user you know what that's we did used to do that a lot

we used to think that was very funny to message companies or really anybody because yeah it I feel like back then Pete they would respond yeah that was what it was back but now it's all it's all systems yeah it's all systems it's kind of everything I've been ruined by systems I feel yeah you should kind of do away with it and get back to well just one one one one one get rid of the zeros when it comes to binary keep the one one one one one let's

look out for number one the problem arises when the ones in the zeros all get complicated and and yeah and co-habit become become become a complicated. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But that was a time when, I feel like that was when, like, Wendy's had their Twitter account and shit. Yeah. All of the, every company had a Twitter account where they were, like, wanting to respond.

They would want to respond to DMs and they would want to do it in a way that was, like, they would want to seem human to a little. Like, I can't imagine every DMing a company now and them being said, come, reply. It's like, do we think what is? Yeah. Engaging with that at all is. so crazy. Subway of all like that's a massive company. I think that's the number one fast food

chain. I mean and this is just me but I'm like obviously that's what we're talking about right? Yeah. Do you think this is funny? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how. It doesn't matter how many years afterwards. His job it is to respond to that she would be trained in the in sort of the Jared Fogel arts.

Right. To just kind of recognize yeah. What if we became what if that became like training? It's like okay don't respond to like a DM like oh there's like a there's a screenshot of that in some slideshow for like yeah people who work at subway is so they ask if we think it's funny they're usually

going to talk about because there's not much else we did is fogle getting out or is he gone forever I think he's gone forever damn dude he's got in a different type of foot long now that's what the hell good Vogel from uh from uh

from from fucking from super bed Super bad. Fogel from Superbad is getting a different kind of footlong now. I've heard that different kind of footlong joke. Never heard it about Fogel from Superbad. He probably is. He probably is, I guess.

I mean, you don't usually get the same foot long. No. Well, you do, though. You do often order the same thing. Yeah, but the whole menu has changed. That's true. And they don't even do $5 anymore. So he was probably getting $5 ones back in the day on Superbad.

But can't, can you really call it the same footlong? The thing is, dude, the amount of money he got paid for Superbad. Dude. He was getting so many five. Plus, he must have, and that's definitely the, in terms of the actor, I can agree with you there. The character must also have been fairly rich to afford that beautiful Aladdin outfit that he wore in that one funny scene. That's true. That's true.

People don't talk a lot about how the kids in Superbad were obviously upper middle class at the very least. Yeah. Can I actually, I just like, I have a huge PSA that I's realized. Yeah. This is like, as a new pet peeve, I think we can really seize on. Okay. Stop calling him McLevin. Stop.

His name is fucking Fogel. His name, dude, his name is Fogel. McLevin is Fogel and he is in a, it's a fake name. It's a fake name. His name is fucking. His name is Fogel. The character's name is Fogel.

Please. His name is Fogel and he is in a damn band now. Really? I didn't know that. He plays bass. Good for him. What else? He was in, I feel like he was in a lot of Seth Rogen stuff for some time.

Is he was in kickass He was in kickass He was a bad guy He was a Yeah He was his name Red Mist I think was his name Red Mist

Yeah And then he changed his name To the motherfucker Oh Yeah Kind of a bad name For a hero Not a hero

He's a villain He was a villain When he was the Motherfucker Oh Yeah He was a villain Oh

Kind of a bad name For a villain as well Hmm It's kind of a good name For a villain Motherfucker You think it's a good name for a villain?

Yeah, it says, hey, world, I'm here. I say fuck. I think most names start out by saying, hey, world, I'm here. Not if he was his name was Daniel. Daniel's still here. Daniel is not a supervillain's name, though. Daniel is still a name that says, hey world, I'm here. But it's like, hey world, I'm here, and I'm a villain.

And I'm Daniel. But you admit that Daniel is not a good supervillain name because this is going to bother me. Maybe for a secret identity, it would be a good one. But that's not what I'm asking. Daniel Doom? If there was a good, wow. Daniel Darkness. Well, Daniel Darkness is pretty cool.

But if a guy came up on the news and it was CNN and it was an anonymous video and he's wearing a mask, he says, I'm Daniel. I'm going to fucking blow up that. You probably could get away with that one if you only did it once just because of you be like, whoa, what the fuck? Like if every other supervillan his name, like the evil, whatever. And then there's one guy who's just Daniel. Well, you're like, oh, damn.

That would be like in a show like The Boys or in a world like kickass where it's like superheroes are real and like the real world, this is the grounded superhero. Yeah. Honestly, Daniel would be a more terrifying name. It would be chilling. It would be chilling. It would be chilling. But, but only once because then it's like one other guy comes around.

It's like, I'm Tommy. Yeah, we already got Daniel. We already got Daniel. Daniel was so scary. He killed hundreds of people. Yeah. And I'm Phineas. That's not a scary name.

I'm Furb. that's scary if you started adapting well that's like kind of taps into the creepy pasta element of it where it's like nobody's really scared of the rugrats until you realize that it's all angelica's schizophrenic dream that's true that does make it terrifying and daniel i guess works just because daniel is like i mean it's like this is a normal you couldn't be you couldn't get that effect if you were named sponge bob no no have y'all ever met a sponge bob in real life I'm like two or three. I don't...

In my kindergarten, we had SpongeBob S and SpongeBob F, and then SpongeBob S moved away. He moved to Bikini Bottom. Did you still call him Spongebob F? Yeah, he, like, stuck with him forever. Oh, that's all bad, yeah. That is shitty, because Spongebob S was such a legend that you guys were like, you're still F.

Spongebob F. What was his last name? Honestly, dude, I don't even know. I think it was Fetter. I think he was my brother. Whoa. Sponge Bob Fetter? Yeah.

that's a good name I'm starting to get some ideas about my future how am I feeling yeah like this dude order some thud bro dude I gave you money to order fah you give you funny

funny funny look he's gonna fucking put that dude how magic would you be if you saw uh if you like you send me no you send me that 30 right

and then you look at the you look at my Steam ID and then you just see that I'm playing like Lego Lego Batman Patrick has bought Lego Batman

Honestly I think you're Your Steam friend just purchased Lego Batman If you're sick that's not I don't I think that's just as effective as fuck Also money once I already purchased that Earlier this month Once money joins onto you it becomes all one thing So if you buy if you get if you get Batman

It would just be a different $30.00. Yeah it would just be a different $30. Yeah, that's true. Money should enter one big collective pool. They should make money that stays separate where it's like, if you give me like 20 bucks, it's like it stays as Caleb's 20 bucks. That's what the Venmo is for, man.

Sometimes you all look at Venmo. I haven't looked at it in months and I'll look and I have like 60 bucks sitting in there. That feels amazing. Yeah. Dude, lucky you. You don't transfer, you don't hit three-day transfer instantly. I think that I do,

but sometimes stuff just slips through the cracks, man. Yeah, I transfer every once in a while. And it's nice. The feeling of having money in your Venmo is kind of nice because it is money that you will never touch. It's only for paying people for beer and stuff. Yeah. And various things.

Various things. Pats, you want to do the list with us? Okay, what's the list we got today? Okay, so if you're watching this right now, you're probably thinking, wait a second, wait a second. isn't this aren't there supposed to be three guys here yeah is that have two guys in a phone and i would have to tell you that you have shifted into another universe and what you are remembering does not exist mandela effect because we're i have some posts here about glitches

in the matrix and mandela effects uh that i've gathered from what from reddit and a couple random forums but it's all glitches it's all it's all uh it's all uh It's mostly read it. I told you about the glitch in the Matrix post that really deeply affected me. Which one was it? It was a guy. It was a guy who said he was like, I was walking down the side of the highway. And I was walking by a little Caesar sign.

And as I passed it, I looked at it and I was like, damn, I've had little Caesars in a while. And then when I looked to my right, there was a semi-truck that had gone off the road. It was headed directly for me. And I closed my eyes, realizing I was about to die. And then I opened my eyes, and I had slipped into another reality where I didn't get hit by this in my truck. Wow. Pretty cool, right? That's crazy.

The thing is, it's such a, it's so almost nothing that you think, why would somebody even make this up? Uh-huh. So now I believe. Yeah, it's really nothing. That shit was boring as hell, bro. Okay. Well, just, I ordered, I bought you soup. So, it's not your story.

Here's a similar. This dumbass. This dumbass that thought that he shifted. realities because he's having a schizophrenic episode. I don't think schizophrenic. Here's a... That's his own damn fault. Here's a post that's kind of similar.

Okay. Our slash glitch in the Matrix. I hit a dog that spawned out of thin air. Wait, who did this? Was it Tim Pool that killed a dog? No. No, no, no.

No, no. Keemstar. Keemstar. Yeah. The classic on Christmas Eve. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, dude. Yeah, maybe this is from Keemstar.

Last night I was traveling down the U.S. highway that goes through my town towards the interstate. All of the sudden, a dog appeared in front of my car, and I couldn't even react before I hit it with the right side of my car. Can I just say all of the sudden is one of the most amazing literary devices you could possibly include in a post like this. All of the sudden? Yeah, yeah. I pulled into a gas station on the right about 200 feet down and found a plastic panel punched in and the bumper cracked. I ran down to where I'd hit the dog

and found it running away and not even limping or showing any signs of distress into the Christian high school's parking lot where it somehow got through the gate and ran into the school grounds. I hit the dog going approximately 43 miles per hour and it somehow kept running

as if I went right through it. There was physical damage to the duck car and a loud bang hurt in the footage that proves I hit this dog and yet it was almost as if I'd hit a ghost dog because as soon as I saw it when I ran down it was still running at the same pace as when I hit it and showed no signs of

injury or distress. I'm completely baffled and can't find a reasonable explanation for what happened to me. I got a reasonable explanation. Yeah. Two dogs. Yeah. There's two dogs running. They're chasing each other. You killed one dog and then you saw one run away and it distracted you enough. You didn't even check the grill on your car. Yeah, he should have checked underneath the hood because the dog could have gotten there. That's true. That's really true. It could have hid. This is the top comment. it's a known phenomenon that dogs can get hit by cars and seemingly be uninjured upon first being hit then they just fall over dead

if you really hit a dog going forward a month per hour and dead to your car that dog is dead the thing is man just let this guy believe that I know it's so, the guy's clearly trying to rationalize I accidentally feeling so bad by hitting a dog and being like

a glitch happened where a dog appeared in front of me and then it didn't even do anything just tell them it's a glitch you don't need to have this guy I mean also another thing I really like I want to point out about this post is that

he also says TLDR a dog spawned out of thin air 75 feet in front of my car tanked an impact at 40 miles per hour the damage car and ran away as far as I'm aware the dog did not sustain any serious This guy said spawned at tank

that's what I want to point out is that the glitch that he's calling attention to is that the dog didn't get injured when he hit it but he's also trying to include as part of the glitch that the dog spawned in front of his car. And he didn't just like hit a dog.

I just thought that's really... Yeah, he's like, yeah, he's so insistent that the dog spawned. He's like, yeah, he's speeding down the highway at night and a dog spawned. Dog, he just spawned. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The dog spawned out of theater.

Sorry, maybe only a gamer could understand. Yeah. Somebody took the fizz gun and picked up the dog and put it on the highway. It was out of his control. Here's another glitch in the Matrix. This one's titled, so this has got to be the most hilarious glitch ever. Sorry,

but this post is either going to be blunt and obnoxious or hilarious, depending on what kind of humor you have. Okay. So just keep that in mind. They have an HW, a humor warning Something tells me that I'm going to find this hilarious We'll throw a humor warning on this one, guys If you're listening

A big flashing red Humor warning Hold on, hold on Can we get like a scale for humor Humor warnings where it's like This is going to be dry Or this is going to be dirty and raunchy Does he have any indication?

When you say scale Those are the two sides of the scale Those are the two, I mean a spectrum Okay Is it what other steps do you have in there? This is closer to Ronchy okay but not fully raunchy

but you be you be the judge so here it is well this morning I wake up get my coffee and sit on the couch classic my boyfriend lays on the couch with his head rested on my butt sort of behind it though

I really don't know why but I had to fart and I didn't warn him I can barely get through this part I keep laughing anyway just typing that in anyway I did it twice more and he finally moved and says grumpily

WTF. You couldn't warn me? I just laughed out loud. I thought it was funny because I hate it when he lays his head on my lap sometimes. It's uncomfortable for me as I am skinny and his head is like a brick. And so I left to the kitchen to LOL to myself some more when as the WKFI network was streaming on IHeart Radio on his phone and they announced a woman was arrested for domestic violence in some city because the man came home and sat on the couch by her head and farted three times in her face. So she punched him several times. This made my boyfriend say, what are the odds? So I know it was not just me. that heard the report, it also prompted more hysterical laughter out of me. I just couldn't contain. I was laughing so hard, the tears rolled down my face. But I ask you this, really, what are the odds? The odds of that are honestly low. Very, I would say, I would not go glitch with that. Yeah, the top comment says that is a coincidence, not a glitch.

Yeah. But it is interesting. It's pretty, I think it's honestly more interesting than the dog one. Evidence of a simulation for sure. Not a glitch. I would think, here's the thing, I would think that was notable, even if I, the farting hadn't happened. Yeah. That there was a radio report that a woman got farted on and got arrested her domestic violence because of it. That's already crazy. Yeah, that is good. When did this post,

when did this post come out? 1855. 11 years ago. Friday, August 22nd, 2014 at 1.29, 23 p.m. E.D.T. Well, I thought that maybe her husband could have AI generated something and gone onto a Bluetooth speaker. That's what you would. That's what you would do. That's the prankers mind. That is the prankers, by the way. I would never. Well, if I got farted on, I would prank back.

If I got farted on in that scenario, I think I would be more mad than this guy was. Would you take three? There's no way I'd take three. There's no way I'd walk down with three full farts, man. Three farts is, yeah, I don't, yeah. One fart and I'm, to the face? Yeah, I'm like going in another room after one. Yeah, I'm mad.

And then I'm sitting there and two, sitting through the second one. Three. And then, yeah, no way. No shot, am I sitting through the second one? No. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. This one is from, this is from a random four. I mean, I was just searching like glitch in the Matrix stuff on Google and this came up,

but this is from a forum called MumsNet. That's for Moms. British. British Moms. And this is just a short one that maybe you guys have experienced. This says, Nettie Tree says. Monsnet?

What? Moms net? Mums net, yeah. Isn't this the one that that fucking Graham Linen got like banned from for being too turfy? I don't know, man. Dude, I don't know. I think that he like,

I think he like Laura Lumer like, Chained himself to the Mum's Net building or something. Whoa. That's crazy. Well, maybe this is him. This is... This is glinner. This could be him.

It's from 2022, so it says, growing up, we're getting some feedback on you, Pat. Oh, my bad. Growing up, I was very fond of one of my uncles. Then, one day, he had changed. It was like in a soap when a character had been... recast, it was never the same after that. That's a glitch? That's a glitch.

I've experienced it. Sadden, two-sentence horror story. Growing up, I was very fond of my uncle, then one day he had changed. Do you think that's evidence of a Matrix simulation? Yes. I think that uncles also exist at a time in their life. When you experience

uncles, they are at a time in their life where they're very ripe for change. The moving from middle age to late age. yeah and it's sad Patrick we're getting strange noises from you now you're making some odd choices

are you now I'm literally I haven't moved at all did you order Fah no why not yet I'm waiting to be done are you going to order it maybe will you say thank you when you order it

because you haven't said thank you I will say thank you I okay I Wait, how bad is the feedback? It's fine right now. Right now it's not bad.

But it comes back. It comes back, back. I don't want there to be any feedback back back. I'm trying my best not to have it happen. His feedback is an echo. What are you talking about? Feedback is an echo of coke. The same thing.

Um, this is a, so there's an ask credit thread. Uh, what is the creepiest glitch in the matrix you've experienced? And so this is somebody's comment, but I thought this was really, this kind of freaked me out. All right. Mirrors specifically a falsehood. That's the title. Due to eyes being a myth. And I just realized that this is how can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real.

Brough. So I just realized that's what they're saying I thought it was just a crazy person You got trolled by the Reddit bug Dude But okay, just erase that from your head Alright, I'm gonna imagine that I've never seen that book You've never seen that one?

Mirrors specifically a falsehood Due to Eyes meaning a myth Is that not the hardest shit you've ever heard That is pretty sick Damn That's fucked up man It's fucked up that you got guys Sounds kind of stupid

I realize the second I read it again Oh yeah That makes sense That makes sense dude it happens man as we get older it happens more and more dude it's gonna keep happening yeah

okay wait this is a good one this is from r slash mandela effect okay it's really good actually this is this person whose username is iPhone 65 that's a good username on

they have the I and 5 is replaced with a one oh man this is the title is Dr. Window no longer exists. And this says, I recall vividly a famous man

named Dr. Window. He was almost as famous as opera. His TV his TV program regarded software and especially Microsoft Window. It was funny because his name actually were Dr. Window. Anyone else

remember this timeline? And then the top comment says you mean you need try my product guy, video professor, and then the guy responds and says, yes, that guy, thank you. Almost as famous as opera is a really good one.

Oh my God, wait, I forgot about try my product. Who's that? But just put again, it was funny but there's his name actually we're Dr. Randolpho. Who's Try My Product? Try My Product was like an infomercial

and it was like on ABC Family during the day all the time. What did they do? Was he Dr. Window? Pretty much. I mean, he would just teach old people how to use the computer. Oh, okay. I'm seeing him now.

His name was John Sherry. And the commercial would end with him going, try my product. And it was just in a like very like, I don't know. It was just in a weird like inflection. I'm seeing here. His name is not Dr. Window either. No. It has nothing to do with Dr. Wind.

But I remember try my product. I never even heard of try my product. this dude was on the seventh heaven reruns that my babysitter would be watching was she beautiful my cousin was she beautiful continue uh... slash mandela effect bermuda triangle isn't dangerous anymore

oh well that's just you know i'm pretty sure almost everyone was taught that the bermuda triangle is one of the most infamous locations for disappearances and tragic accidents. Now it seems that the Bermuda Triangle isn't any more dangerous than most other ocean waters. The World Wildlife Fund research and found some of the most dangerous ocean waters and the Bermuda Triangle isn't one of them. This almost sounds like kind of a wokeness complaint. Like, yeah, we were growing up, the Bermuda Triangle is actually something that we had to be afraid of. It used to be really dangerous. It used to be really, I remember, I mean, I was scared of the Bermuda Triangle until, I think I still am. I don't think I would go there.

This is like somebody trying their hand at the Mullaney Quicksand joke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's, I like the idea, too, that they, that they just had like,

that the phrasing, when we were younger, we were taught that the Bermuda Triangle was dangerous. I mean, we kind of were. Yeah. I was, dude.

Yeah. I was scared as fuck as that. Would you, would you take a boat by yourself into the Berm, like can I say? No, but I wouldn't take a boat by myself anywhere. Yeah,

that's true. Really? What about with a storied captain? Sure, yeah. Okay. No, no, no, no, because he would not be a good captain. What's in the Bermuda Triangle? Cyclones?

There's aliens there. No, but like geographically. Yes, aliens. You got to imagine Bermuda's around there. Well, that Bermuda is like one of the points of the triangle, right? There are sunken ships and alien creatures. There's, dude, there's sunken ships everywhere. Dude, this means I've flown through.

them here. You've flown through the Bermuda Triangle and lived to tell the tale? This must have been where I was flying when that thing happened and I had to land. When the explosion happened? Yeah, I think or I think the explosion was in, must have been in the Bermuda Triangle.

Geez, Louise, man. Why is Elon flying his damn rocket ships near the Bermuda Triangle? That's probably actually completely not in the Bermuda Triangle. Damn it. You know. Oh. I was lying. Bermuda's off of Florida. Yeah, but it's to the east.

It's like southeast and south is the... And it's a good place? What, Bermuda? Yeah. Yeah, why not? I don't know. I know the only thing about it. Here's another Mandela effect.

I remember a caveman emoji. Me too. The emoji looked like a sideways facing caveman watching walking like this one or this one or this one or these two. That doesn't exist? It doesn't exist. You're sure? I'm sure. Can I look?

Did you check? Well, it didn't they exist as of three years ago at the very least. I remember the caveman emoji too. You're thinking of the troll emoji Yeah, wasn't it the troll? It's a troll that you're thinking of. Let's see, look up troll. No, no, no, no, no, no.

The caveman emoji, he's walking on, it's a side profile, and he's walking and he has a club. You're thinking of cave paintings. No, I'm not. I don't remember this. Let me look at it. I'm going to look up caveman.

When you Google caveman emoji, the Reddit post comes up that says, I remember a caveman emoji. I remember this emoji. Is this the one you're thinking of? no no no no this is the only thing that comes up it's side profile of a caveman

I know I can picture I can picture what it would look like and he's dragging a club but it doesn't exist you're sure I'm positive it's not even on emoji DB but can you imagine how it's not on emoji DB

can you imagine how emoji DB has some racist slurs on it when you search caveman holy wow let me see I don't want to turn my computer to be honest they have they still got

they got some real serious emoji DB you gotta handle this should not be on your website this is not even really an emoji I can't see it I'm not gonna say it here's one of someone getting fucked in the ass also

oh yeah wow emoji DB emoji DB and there's another one emoji DB you really got gotta lock this down we gotta do a deep dive into emoji DB honestly what I'm seeing here

I think it would be better to not do a deep dive into emoji D.B. Wow. Who would have thought, well, okay, I was going to cite them as saying, well, look, there's no caveman emojis, but I don't think they're worth trusted. So maybe there was one. What I liked about this is obviously, you know, caveman emoji.

Remember the gun emoji? Yeah, it's a huge loss. It's really sad. And they still got the rude boy emoji? What's that? I don't think so. Sky emoji? I think what I like about this is obviously I know they're saying an emoji of a

But I'm imagining, I'm suspending my disbelief and imagining that they shifted from a universe where cavemen had emojis. That emojis were around long enough that cavemen made them of themselves. I think they did. Yeah, they made pictures, I guess. Rude boy. When I search Rude Boy, there's nothing comes up. Dude, I swear to God, they had a scot emoji. When I search food, though, tons of different items come up, including Fug.

Food Boy? Food boy. Are you thinking of Food Boy? Oh, here he is. Food Boy is here. No, there's no results for Food Boy. Yeah, the ska emoji. It's a rude boy doing the Pogo.

That is not a ska guy. What is it is? No, that's just a secret agent. No, no, no. What did you search to find this? Look, businessman and suit levitating. Yeah, not ska. Yeah, well, no, the best.

The man in the business suit levitating was originally based on the logo of the two-tone records. The logo itself was a depiction of reggae musician Peter Tosh. Okay. Daniel Tosh. Oh, that's his father. This is my last one that I found. This is another glitch in the Matrix from R slash glitch in the Matrix. Money in front of me just become less.

I have like 4K money in front of me. I count it four or five times. It is on the desk in my view. and one day I am sure it is there it becomes 1750-ish this guy's rich yeah but he leaves it out on the desk this is a rich guy

wouldn't leave my money in money 4k money hell no I'm not letting that turn to 7-7 or 5 times 1750ish 1750ish you can't be a fucking specific number you can't be leaving your you can't be leaving your 4K money

you know what this tells me about this guy what he's married that's true Hey, yo. That's completely true. Come on now. Yeah, come on now. But he actually says, someone has to you live with other people.

He said, just my cat sleeping all day. Oh, okay. Well, maybe. So it actually is. You know what? It has to be a glitch. If he was married, a cat probably ate the money. That cat's probably a damn lasagna.

22.50 of the money. Yeah, cats. One particular cat I know of likes lasagna. Anyone? Come on now. Who? Or what? I guess you would say.

Yeah. Just like, it's just an it. So I don't even know if it has a name. Does Garfield ever have sex in the show or the comment? He wants to. Arlene? Arlene. I don't even know Arlene.

I don't even know Arlene? Girl cat. Can I be for real? If you don't know Arlene, you literally shouldn't be talking about Garfield. All right. I'll keep his name out of my mouth. Yeah. Like, never talking about it again.

For real. Okay. You know Nirmal? I know Nirmal. But I actually, Uh, come on. I don't know. I know Odie.

You don't know shit about Garfield. I don't know. Normal, I know of the name. I don't know what Normal is. What about Liz? Don't know Liz. I think that's her name. Is that her name, Patrick?

That is her name. And I know John. Yeah. I know John and Odie. That's the extent. You don't know Garfield. If we're doing icebergs, being icebergs. Garfield, obviously is John and Odie.

John is like kind of like the smiles fading. But then Odie is a little bit like, oh my God. What the fuck do I got into? Oh, no. Odie is level two at least. Odie's on the same level as John. Yeah. But there's comics that under that I would say is normal.

Okay. Yes. Then I would say under that is our lean. What about the scary work? Then I would say the mouse, the mice. The mice that Garfield knows. I haven't reached that level of the... You don't know the mice.

And then that pig. Yeah, the pig. I don't know the pig. Garfield's pig. The pig from Pearls before swine. Yep. And then, and then Jason from Fox Trott will be at the very bottom. He's on the same paper sometimes.

Oh, US. acres. What would you do if you saw a guy that looked exactly like a Gary Larson Farside guy in real life? I feel like I have. I've seen them every day in New York City. I feel like New York's the one place you don't see them. You see them. Every once in a while, I guess you don't go deep enough out into Queens. I guess you do see some Gary Larson guys. Head up to Astoria. Just cross-eyed dudes. Yeah. Like a bullet. Yeah, big, body, little head. Yeah. Do you check this guy out. Who?

That's, that's Orson Pig. Who? Wait, you sent us a text. That's the pig? The pig. Orson Pig. Should I search Garfield Iceberg? Should we go through this right now and see?

Yeah, wait a minute. Let's look that up. What do you say? Oh, wow. There's a fucking giant Garfield Iceberg. There's a fucking giant Garfield Iceberg. Okay. Really?

What's at the top? Okay. I'll tell you the things I know. Well, yeah, yeah. Oh, there's one here I know about. and the top. Garfield minus Garfield. Remember that? I remember that. That's at the top. That's at the top.

I would think that's some of the most insane Garfield stuff. Garfield minus Garfield. U.S. Acres. That's where Orson Pig resides. Garfield and friends. That's where Orson Pig resides. And Garfield has nine lives. Those are the top. That's the top.

That's Garfield smiling and crossing his arms. Okay. Wait, can I see it? Oh my God. It's dark. Okay. Square root of mine is Garfield. I don't know what that means.

Is that real or is that a joke? I don't know. That's probably a Garfield-style joke. Keith Cliff Controversy. Do you know if there's a specific controversy you're supposed to know, or they just are similar ripping each other? It's the controversy that they're both similar. Yeah.

1989 Halloween arc. I don't know what that means. John is a cartoonist. I knew that. Is he? Garfield is dead theory. I mean, I can guess. I feel like I know that now that Garfield's scary scavenger hunt.

That's a video game, right? I think so. Or am I thinking of Garfield's nightmare? I don't know. Lyman. I know Lyman. I recognize that name. I think he's a guy with a mustache.

Dude, I didn't even know about Nirmal. Wait a minute. They got Lyman chained up on this iceberg. They do. They have him chained up. And then Diana's piano. I don't know what the fuck that means. That sounds like a scary.

scary video. Then we have, okay, next level down, which is a picture of Garfield with Lyman chained up. Can I see that?

Yeah, you can see them all if you want. Garfield's mom and grandfather, I don't know that. Cats. Arlene is astray.

Is that that dark of a idea? Lab animal. Lyman is in John's basement. Nirmal's owner, Big Bob C-C-U-M. C-O-M-E.

Okay. Big Bob Come. Garfield's exact weight. Garfield live. All right. Okay. Next level down. It shows kind of a prehistoric looking cat.

Dog sperm. I know this one. What's this? There's a strip where John drinks dog spurn by accident. At the vet. He means to drink milk. Tigger. I guess just because of Tigger.

They look similar. Kind of similar, yeah. Why Garfield tastes Monday's theory. I don't know about that one. I hate when they do an iceberg in the... Oh, and the... And all this way down, lasagna cat? That's too far down.

Yeah, that should be up with Garfield minus Garfield, right? Let me, here, I'll pick and choose here. Pizza was going to be Garfield's favorite food. See, that should be deeper in the iceberg. That's like how Breaking Bad was going to take place in Bakersfield. The next level down. We're going to the next level down. Scary Cat with Sharp Teeth.

Cohen Brothers Garfield movie misconception. God only knows what that means. I know what that means. What does that mean? Bill Murray and Lorenzo Music Coincidence. So the Bill, the Cohen brothers thing is that Bill Murray thought that the guy, the guy who was directing the Garfield movie was named Joel Cohen. Yes, yes.

Oh, okay. I see. So you're locked in on this level. Yep. Garfield's judgment day. Okay, next level down. Garfield's dad. Zombie Garfield merch.

Charles Schultz drew Garfield on two legs. This is where they lose me. I don't know about this. then we've got the bottom one. Charles Schultz from the peanuts? Yeah, that's what it's... Bottom one. Red, the words are all red.

Today I watch you. Garfield has met God. Three splitting timelines. Immortality theory. And the garden in Garfield's third life is Eden. Wow. Do you know any of those?

No. Pat, do you know any of those? I didn't even know what Nirmal was. No. I have no idea. I have no idea. But it turns out. Is Nermil another cat?

Oh, they have. have explanations. Oh, but it only goes up to the fucking, to the third level, bro. That's bullshit. That's fucked up. That's fucked up. That just pissed me off. I thought I was going to get it, understand it by the Garden of Eden. Pat, are you glad you stayed on this whole time? It was, bro, it was worth it. What would you have not, what would you have been doing if you didn't

call into the show? I've been in bed all day. you've been have you touched it my pecker yeah probably once or twice but it's not hitting the same just a probable I'm too thick to even even jack off man

that's sick no I'm sorry for you I'm so sick that even if I did that it would probably cause me to commit suicide well maybe a little hot foe will wake it up yeah maybe some hot foe Hot fudge?

No, hot fudge. That too. That could be pretty good. If you order $30 of hot fudge, I will be kind of upset. Why would that be upsetting? Because that's a lot of hot fudge, man. What do you need $30 of hot fudge? That's not going to make you feel any better.

For an ice cream party? You're not going to have an ice cream. You're sick. You shouldn't have an ice cream party. I'll have other people who are sick over. You beat me. He beat me. You can order $30 of hot fudge.

And chocolate. that's an aphrodisiac, so then you might get moving as well. Oh, no, no. Well, you... I can't even touch this thing, man. Why are you so against touching your thing for us once on the phone while we record it? Can you just touch it right now and just, just, can you just hold it? Say what it feels like? Hold it and

tell it and like talk to us and we can see if we can tell a difference. Have you ever held, have you ever held pizza dough that's been sitting out? No. I mean, I've held pizza dough. I don't know if I've held it when it's sitting out. Room temperature pizza dough.

Yeah, sure. So you're not getting anything even by hearing my voice. No blood is flowing to it. It feels, dude, it feels more like pizza dough every second. So you are touching it, though? Yes. Okay. Yes, man.

Yes, man. Okay. I'm joking. I'm not touching my thing. Why would you not just touch it? You're on the phone. It doesn't matter. It does matter because I think I'm not allowed to touch it on YouTube.

On the phone? Who gives a fuck? You're in another... You're miles away. We don't have ads turned on. You can touch it. That's true. Just touch it.

It's like the Green Goblin. No. No. No. We can't touch it. Dude, just touch it, please. That's true. No.

Turning to the other camera. Well, dude, do you have any TV shows? to recommend the other camera. I think we lost. What did I watch? I did watch something. Oh, I watched the Aviator. How was it? Aviator's still pretty good. I haven't seen it in years.

Kate Blanchette is doing a weird voice the whole movie because she's supposed to be Catherine Hepburn. I've never seen it. I've never seen it either. Wow. It's pretty good. It's about Howard Hughes's OCD. Yeah, I've heard. All right. I'm I'm going to go. Did I watch anything else?

Now, you tell me, if that's the only movie you watched today, then you were definitely touching your pecker. No. I definitely watched a YouTube video. What YouTube video did you watch? Let's see. Now I'm interested. Joe Box Season 3, episode 2.

Great episode. Yeah. Brendan Schaub versus Burt Kreischer. Wow. Good. Physical power. How One Post Ruin This Rapper's Career, a video about Gold Link. And then I watched a bunch of, I remember this YouTuber that I used to watch when I was 11 years old.

This guy, Hellsing, 920. He, I learned he passed away. Oh, that's so awful. But he has a very, you guys should look this guy up. He's awesome. Okay. He was awesome. All of his videos are set, like, it's him like,

I don't like to go to the movie theaters because it's expensive. Sound advice. Yeah. Dude, he's dope. He was dope. That's tragic. All right, I have to go. Yeah, I have to eat dinner.

Bye, Pat. Feel better. Order faw and send me a picture. Get some fudge. Don't listen to Caleb order fudge. I ordered, I have $30 worth of fudge. $15 of fudge. $15 of fudge.

Right down the middle. Fudge connection. I'm fine with that. That's a compromise. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Is Afghanistan a big part of transformers? I would kind of consider Afghanistan to be the second L.A. I agree. It's L.A. East. Yeah. L.A. Farr East. Yeah.

Middle East. Well, I wouldn't even call it the Far East. Far East is China. L.A. Far East would be. I don't know. What is the L.A. Hong Kong.

Hong Kong. Hong Kong. Hong Kong, dude. But right in the middle, and that's what's so amazing about Afghanistan, is it's the geographical middle between Hong Kong and Los Angeles. Do you know that the car horn was invented there? The car horn? Hong Kong.

Dude, it's racist. That's pretty good. I never heard that one before. I just thought of it. You just came up with that? That's good. That car horn was invented out there. Car horn was invented there.

that's good it's problematic how's that problematic dude it's just like a fatherly joke that's like a joke that a father

and uncle would say but it's better than that I like that joke man yeah whatever these just come out of me every day wow

you should you should write some of them down sometimes I do on a stage says that stupid bullshit you do dressing up as a vampire

Fucking idiot.