Podcast About List - Ep. 366 - Meet The Shrek Fockers

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

It's December time and you know what that means: time to come up with the best new December-Christmas-Family-Holiday movie of all time.Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

There we go. Why in frame? No, I'm out of frame today. That's come in frame. We're cozying up today. Okay. Good morning. Not this far.

You're going to knock this on to us and we're going to die. I don't think that's true. I don't think I'm going to knock it on. First of all, that part is the most true part. And second of all, the second part, the second part. I saw this shit wobbling like days ago. This? You were wobbling in.

This one is the killer. This one wobbled. You need to sit down. That, yeah, just sit down. I kind of like this. I really don't because look what it looks like. oh yeah you can see my white stain yeah you can see my white stain

it looks like why you're jumping around man I had a little bit of that coffee that I left here right now yeah now I'm zipping yeah what what's now my eye is twitching too it's 9 p.m. on a Monday it's not 9 p.m. it's 7 it's practically no bro is on his bro literally is in his own time zone still

it's likely around 6 or maybe they don't have time zones or what I don't know like 9 p.m. 6 or 9 That's not funny. Let's move on. Yeah. So we're basically here. Caleb said he is sick. So we are without Caleb.

Which means we can relax a little bit. Yeah, finally. The slave driver. Oh, my God. not is not here to tell me not to show. He always tells me, hey, Cameron, cover up your true ears. People aren't going to accept you for who you are. It's disgusting. And I'm frankly, very glad that I can finally show my true colors as an elf. And I'm glad that I can finally say this. Caleb, you're a body shaming pig. You're a body shaming pig. You're red as the sun

on Saturn or one of the Saturn's moons. Or Mars, even. You're as red as Mars. I think of it, Mars. You're red as Mars and you're a Martian pretty much. You're as red. You're as red as a Martian is green. Do you think he's more of in the Martian? I think he could be. I've heard him.

Doesn't he talk like this a little bit? Yes. Both of them do. Caleb. I forgot his name. I thought I was going to call him Kevin. Kevin Pitts. Yeah, dude, he's so forgettable.

He is. I honestly, wait. Who would you be? Who would I be? I don't know. Maybe Daffy Duck. I feel like I have some daffiness to me. I think I'm tasked.

because you're not daffy. Who do you think I am? You're Yosemite Sam. I could see that. I could see Yosemite. No, I have to really think about it. Yeah. I'm definitely not porky.

You're not porky. You're not, you're not bugs either. Right now. Me? Yeah. Well, just the big pink ears.

Big pink ears. Yeah. They're not that pink, but you guys are sounding a little bit like Caleb. Well, he's Alma Fudd. Come on now. I'm bald. He's fudley.

Fudley, Dudley. You're Gossamer. Gossamer. Gossamer for sure. Yeah. That's perfect. Perfect, dude. You're like Gossamer.

Can you... The red hair? Well, okay, yeah, hold on. Producer, pull that up. Yeah. Pull up Gossamer for us to see you. Oh, wait. Oh, way.

Isn't that microphone still plugged in? No, no, it's not. Okay. Our producer's fucking useless and doesn't... It would rather just talk than even work. Yeah.

Plus, we only have one camera today. Producers are like the most persecuted people in the world. Not true. He's only... He's saying this because Cameron wanted one of our recent clips removed. Name one thing that's...

Which also, performance review time. Yeah. Cut right here, we're going to add in like a splash graphic. Why would you make that the clip? Because Patrick Ted says in the clip, this is the clip for this week. And I made it... That's the one somebody says that. When somebody says that, that means that cannot be the clip.

Well, it's the joke there. How am I going to get that it's irony poisoned while I'm editing through a transcript? I don't play the video. No, what you don't play the video? No, I just read the transcript. You just control. God, this is the clip. I just do that and I do that a minute around that. You're fired from making the reels.

How am I fired? How am I fired from making an Instagram video? I'm making the Instagram rules now. Yes, you're fired from that. You don't watch the video. Dude, why would I watch the video? I already heard it once. You have a special edit version of Premiere that doesn't have a video window and it only has words. I have it all reconfigured. I have the video thing completely close and this is the transcript.

Why would I have to watch it? I thought you just cut, cut around the words. I got so many other podcasts to watch. That's true. Yeah, I know what podcast we spent your time. Bro, he's on 24-7. I'm going to believe that. No, no.

You're watching. Bro, you've got it on six monitors in your house. Like you're a good. How many monitors? Six. Or seven. Let me see my new wallpaper. Yeah.

Let me see your new wallpaper. I've seen it. Is that really your wallpaper? Yeah, bro. That's good. I like that. So basically it's the beginning of December, ain't it? Yeah.

We just got there. We did finally. We're finally in the middle of this. The middle of the first week of December. We're almost done. Yeah. Finally. And we fought through the fucking hellhole that was November.

Oh, I hate November. Turkeys flying around like mortar shells. Elections. Green stuff. Isn't that crazy? That we were very unsatisfied with the results of. Isn't that crazy how November is kind of the month that changes America every year? Yeah.

And you think about it even back into the prelims times. The prelims, back when the prillums arrived, that was Thanksgiving. Yes. That changed life for everybody. I have a question. What's that? The prillums? They wore a buckle on their hat and they were mad at England for God being not president in church.

Yes. Okay. The turkeys and Native Americans enemies. Okay. What year was Mexico settled? That's a good question. Don't ask me that type of question. Ask me about, like, what did I do this morning?

Do you learn about American history in Mexican schools or no? Yeah. Actually? I know the states. Okay, that's good. That's the history of them. Yeah. I barely know them.

Yeah. Name two. Fucking Bologria. You got it. Fucking in Blandria. North Bologna. North Bologna. Sorry.

And South Bologria. So that's two. North Belongria and Belongti. Belongti. Those are both islands of Hawaii. Did you know that? Bolongti. Bolongti and Belongria.

I know that. They are islands of Hawaii. Would you go to an island? Would I go to an island? Yeah. Fuck no. You don't seem like a beach person. No, I'm not a beach person at all.

I hate the beach. I know it's strange to me. You think it's strange that I hate the beach? That's crazy. No, I don't think it's strange that you hate the beach. I mean, the beach I grew up with... I think it's strange to hate the beach. but I don't think it's strange you hate the beach.

Yeah. Is that track? Yeah, that tracks. Yeah. But when I think of the beach, I think of Hampton Beach. Yeah, I think that's fair. Yeah. I think, I think it took me a while to get into the beach as well.

Yeah. It took me. I'm completely a liar because every time I go to the beach. What? Wait, what? Every time I go to the beach, I'm immediately, I'm like, like, walking there. I'm like, I'm going to hate this. And then I go swim and I'm like, yippee!

And I'm splashing in the water and shit. Like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, like, I'm going to. I went to, I visited my girlfriend's, grandma's house in a, like, West Palm Beach or whatever, like, apartment. And it's like on the beach. It's like a retirement community. And the whole time I was like, the first day, I was like, probably just going to sit in a chair. Probably just going to sit in the chair and just drink, being relaxing, splashing, playing water tag, doing double flips. It was, I was doing stuff to make my girlfriend laugh where I was pretending to get knocked over by every wave that hit.

I was like, dude. That's like a little kid's idea of like a. look at me look at me no that's what's that's the point at which you can begin to

truly love the beach is when as a kid you're like I don't want to do though I don't want to pretend to get knocked around the way

I want to go back to the I want to go back home and then as an adult you realize wait the stuff that I didn't like as a kid

as an adult is now three times is actually so fun what I think is Loki really not fun even if I haven't really

done it myself doing the whole tank castle shit yeah I think that's a lie I was huge into sandcastles

but I haven't had an opportunity to build them as an adult I haven't built one as an adult either my friend I think it's a formative maybe this summer we go to the beach and we go to Rockaway and we make a sandcastle what I just need to say I don't know why I said my friend but when I did I made me suddenly think of an Uber driver

saying that I have never built a sandcastle my friend but maybe this summer dude I was having this conversation low key with an Uber driver about sandcastles yeah he was being quite friendly He was like, oh, I love this airport. I was like, dude, me too. I just flew here.

This is my best friend. But here's what I'll say about sandcastles. Sandcastles are cool, but the better version of Sandcastle is a hole. Yeah. Digging a big ass hole and going in the hole. Which is kind of the same type of thing. Yeah. I really like, the thing that I like about the beach now as an adult is going out really far.

Like if you go out to a beach where it's like, you go out like really far and then everyone's kind of like, hey, you need it like you make it look like you're out farther than. then you are and then you stand up in the water and show that you're only like knees deep. So then everyone's freaking out. Like you need to come back in, you're out too far, then you get up and you're like, I've been I'm here the whole time. People were freaking out trying to get you to come back in. You're doing optical

allusions? Okay, this was when I was at Weir's Beach. Wait, how are you doing optical allusions? This is when I was at Weir's Beach. If you swim at Weir's Beach, they have it cordoned off because. We'll take you to the beach tomorrow and show you. We'll take you to Weir's Beach in New Hampshire. I'm going to a beach. You're going to the beach? I'm going to the beach. I'm going to the beach. I won't

I won't say where. Just experiment with this. I'll be experimenting with optical illusions is very important. It is fun. It's an important way to develop your brain as a young adult. At Wears Beach, I did it because there's like a bunch of buoys, like they set up like a thing because like people are taking like their little boats out, the little motorboats. And if you go past the buoy line, you can get like caught in like a rip tight or whatever

the fuck and then get pulled out. Did I always talk about on the podcast about the time I went to the beach when the guy died? Maybe. We got to a beat. We went to the beach. We got to the beach and the lifeguards where like no one is allowed

in the water and we were like, what the hell? Why can't? My mom went up to the lifeguard and was like, why can't we go on the water in the lifeguard?

I was like, really shouldn't tell you this, but a guy just got picked up by a wave slammed on the ground so hard as heart stopped in. He just died and we just saw his body

getting carried out. So no more people in the water today. We were like, oh, okay. Oh, he probably made that up on the spot just because like,

I've never, the thing is I've always thought lifeguards are fucking bullshit. it. And in that moment, I was like, you know what? Maybe I should listen to the life. Yeah. It just sucks when you get there and the flag is red. Yeah. It's like, make it green.

Make it green go. If you should need to green, the water will surely calm down. Yeah, that's true. Just calm the water. Yeah. It's hard. How dangerous can water be when it literally flows through our houses day and night. Water is life, bro. Water is life. Day and night. The water flows through my pipes day and night.

Wow. That was beautiful. We're lucky still in karaoke mode. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to say, we've been singing all day. We have been singing all day. Oh, I don't know about you. I don't know you. I've been singing. I heard him singing walking around over here.

You, I came up with a song earlier, but I forget what it was. It was a good one. Go ahead. Can I just throw in my song idea really quick? Maybe like a stoner rapper like Wiz Khalifa or something, but instead of weed, he mostly wraps about drinking water and being hydrated. That's good. Yeah.

Don't have anything for it, but just. Water, water, bottle,ifa. Could be his name, water bottle leaf. Water bottle leafer. It's a cool name. Yeah. Or Wiz. Wiss Bottle Llefa.

No, that invokes the word. That invokes P. Bottle Lieder. Bottle Lider. Bottle Leder. It sounds like him. It sounds like him. That's a rapper.

Water bottle liter. Water bottle liter. Water bottle Lita. No. Yeah. What's up y'all? You're watching MTV too. And my name's Water bottle Lita.

Okay. No. Now you've got to sing. Water bottle Lidla. Welcome back to Suck a Suck of Free Sundays. It's me. Water bottle, Lidela. Here with my new video, I just drank some water. Got to stay high-drading.

This guy seems cool. Water bottle, Lidala. I could see him, like, okay, imagine, like, back in the, because that's what Julio came up with. I know, but, like, in fiction, how did this guy come up with this? He thought, well, water bottle. Leader Leifah. Yeah. Waterbott, Lita Luh. I didn't put the lion. I don't know where that came from.

Where is he from? He's from the ocean. He's from the ocean. Yeah, but okay. He's like a Merman. He's like a Florida rapper. Yes. Yeah.

So, but he moved up to Atlanta around the time that like Crunk and Outcast was happening. Yeah. Or no. Yeah. Around like speaker box. And he only wears blue. And he only wears blue, but it's not for a gang reason. No, because he's the secret.

third member of Outcast. He's the other guy, Andre 3,000 is playing the fucking flute, big boys rapping, and this guy is not even rapping. He's doing spoken word about water. He gives water to them. He gives water when they rap. This guy's awesome. The water bottle of Lidala.

Get in here. Oh, and this signatures, the splash. He has water powers. Yeah. He's got water powers. Yeah. Well, you know, you know how Farrell's got the signature attack. For the four, the four.

Oh, that's his like producer tag. His producer tag is a splash symbol, being hit. It's ultimate ability. Cool. In reverse. Like that. Because it also, it's a splash symbol.

It's like a triple entendre. A splash symbol being hit. Yeah. Because then it's music. But then the reverse. So it makes it sound like a wave, but also sounds like water being sucked through a straw. Yes.

Dude, can I be honest? I will not listen to this guy. You don't have to. You wouldn't be listening to him anyway because he, his music came out before 2023. Yep. Got him.

What does that mean? What does that mean? A little kid music. You're just a kid, man. My favorite artist, by the way. Your favorite artist is Matt. Playboy Cardi personally emailed. Matt Ox is too old.

I came out too long ago. You don't know Matt Ox? I don't. Bro, you know Matt Ox. Fidget Spinner's little kid? I don't know what. He's still around. Playboy Cardi interviewed him, though.

What? Or email him? He got interviewed him by Playboy Cardi today. Interview magazine. Dude, he got a personal email from Playboy Cardi and said, for my biggest fan, I made you something special on Spotify. He said, I love you. It's that my full name.

Wow. That's crazy. We're not going to sit down on the show, though. Yeah. Dude, speaking of water bottle, litola. Water bottle, litre. Some interesting water happened today. Yeah?

Yeah, we were at a movie theater, and I was going to get a cup of water. And there was just one guy behind the, like, popcorn counter. And I don't know, maybe, I feel like maybe that he just, like, maybe the explanation for this is he, like, didn't work there. Or, like, he was, like, just stalking cells or something. Behind the counter, but he didn't work there? Well, he had a red shirt. He worked at the AMC But I think he was not

I think he was not maybe not a guy Who works that counter He was like a senator or something But I went up and I was like Hey can I just get a cup for water And he went and he got it and it handed it to me The cup and his hand was shaking like this When he handed it the cup

And he went sorry man I'm nervous This is his first day I know I was like what I was like man it's okay Or you know what you know what Probably was is later he's there's probably a horror movie out right now. Yeah, and he's afraid to see it.

He's afraid that he's got to go clean up the theater. Yeah. And he's going to, like, walk in or like, you know, check the thing. It's like, oh, my God, he was so nervous. He was shell-shocked by this interaction. Yeah. Cam was. He didn't talk about it.

He got his water. We went into the movies. We walked out. Like, what, two hours later, he was like, oh, that guy was nervous, by that way. I was like, what? No, we left the theater and we walked. I really liked the. I really liked the image of you guys walking out and going,

that guy was. nervous. He was gone when we came out. He'd be spawned. There was two ladies there instead, who I think did actually were supposed to be there. Wow. Maybe he's split up anatomically. We were talking about this.

Yeah. Yeah. He was putting, he was putting boxes under a counter. So I feel like he was a box man. Okay. So he's nervous to go move into cups. Yeah. He's not supposed to touch the cups. He's into different receptacles.

But also just to even say anything at all. Yeah. To not just let it be. Did not just shake. He trusted me so deeply. You know what he wanted you to say is be like, hey, man, don't be nervous. Come see this movie with me.

Yeah. Come in this theater. This movie is actually quite friendly. It's about a guy who gives a Japan. It's about Brendan Fraser becoming a father. Yeah. Well, not quite. I didn't see this.

Let's not even go into it. Spoiler alert. Spoiler. Spoil the whole movie, bro. It takes place in Japan. It happens in Japan. Okay. Is that the spoiler?

Basically, it's the rehearsal season one. Okay. Combined with Mr. Birthday. Combine with Japan And look, I'm a cinephile So I know what Mr. Birthday is But maybe remind the audience

Yeah, Mr. Birthday. Mr. Birthday. Maybe remind the audience at home about Western birthday. The International birthday organization. Robert's, you know him. Yes. He's in that. Okay.

He's the villain. He's the villain. He's the villain of Mr. He is not Mr. Birthday. No, what do you mean by that? He's the villain of Mr. Bertha. What do you mean by that? Mr. Birthday is the kid from dazed and confused all grown up.

Yeah. I haven't seen this one. There's kind of like a... No, I really haven't seen Mr. Birthday. No, no, this came out in what year was that? They recorded it in New York. Okay. They recorded it in New York.

Okay. Like taxi drive. So it's like taxi driver. It's kind of like taxi driver. Okay. It centers on one character who meets other ones and talks to them. It's his birthday. That's the whole movie.

It's not his birthday. The movie is that it's not his birthday and he's lying about it. He has a secret. He joins a secret organization that is devoted to doing birthdays. Okay. So it's like inception. It's like, no, it'll be like, they like get a call and they're like, a kid's having a birthday. And then so this guy who's the grown up kid from dazed and confused goes there and he goes.

Like the kid. I forget which. No, not the long hair kid. I'll show you which guy is. First he goes to Sanougal. Okay. Sunnoggle.com. Yeah.

Yeah. And he searches birthday parties near me. Okay. They look up birthday parties near them. And then he, wait, so there's a database. No, it's Google. He'll show up. He'll show up and he'll be like,

but it is, there is a database of birthdays because they have this organization. Yeah. And he shows up and he's like, I heard you like guitar. And the kids like, yay.

I'm slightly sorry. Yeah, just be aware of the of this one. These are not secure. Yeah. This is the killer. This one is so fucking heavy. Yeah.

You will actually. Anyway, Mr. birthday. Keep going. Mr. birthday. Well, I'll just read here.

I'll read you. So first of all, the tagline is let's party. Yeah. While working at his maintenance job at an upscale hotel, Barry encounters the mysterious Mr. Jay. He introduces Barry to the International Birthday Network, an agency which helps children across the globe suffering from miserable birthdays. Okay. Average rating, one star.

One star. Jason London. Yeah. Oh, Jason London. He lives in a hotel. He lives and works at the hotel. Okay. And then he works.

Oh, like sweet life. Yeah, but it's not so sweet. It's more dirty. Okay. He lives at a dirty. not the main guy from dazed and confused yes yeah yes jason not uh not wiley wiggins no no no no no and i know imagine i know you know wiley wiggins so imagine mr birthday but in japan now that i'm combined with the rehearsal now that i'm familiar completely with mr birthday and i know the

rehearsal in the rehearsal season one okay now subtract nathan fielder and add freden fraser replace him with the whale now take the whale's weight remove it and just throw it around Japan. Okay. Just don't... It's gone. Okay. Just scatter it around Japan.

Wasn't whaling big in Japan back in the day? It was. It was. They should make a movie about that. It actually was still big for a while too. The whale too. He goes to Japan and they're like, oh my God. This was what was that?

Look at this whale. He could because he said he used to have a daughter, even though he was lying when he said that. He was lying. He lives though. Yeah. The whale? The ending? Yeah.

He lived. Yeah. Well, that's one. Do you think he lived or he died? When he lifts his feet up, that's actually. That's actually. Spoiler for the whale, it just came out. When he lifts his feet up and they fly away,

he flies away. That's him going towards the light because he's going to Japan. He's actually, he's been dead. He's been dead for a couple minutes and he's getting picked up by a person in Japan. He's flying on it. This is this, no, I'm saying this is the start of.

He's getting on his plane to go to Japan. This is the start of the whale too. He's stepping. Okay, it's the whale to. Yes. The whale to Japan. Japan. The whale to Japan.

The whale to Japan. The whale to Japan. It's a good title for a movie. Because it's like whale sounds like, way way the whale the whale whale go to Japan whale whale whale why not go to Japan after I died

featuring after I floated that's the title of the sequel well Brendan Fraser well might as well go to Japan and now I keep saying this over and over and Julio keeps fighting me on this tooth and nail but I think Brendan Hubeo wants to kill me I call him Hubeo yeah it was I combined

that ever since I saw the whale Brendan Fraser looks to too scary to me for him yeah for to ever he looks like a sea creature frog monster he just like a toad a little bit dude in my head he looks like his damn character from Doom Patrol oh every time I see him I think he looks like a copper robot

you watch that yeah yeah what's 2 patrols a good amount of it what is that much maybe like two or three episodes cartoon no no it's one of those live action like CW style but it's but it's it's uh it's supposed to be DC's X-Men it's cerebral yeah It's supposed to be like DC's X-Men. I read some of the comics. Yeah.

It's cool. Doom Patrol is cool. I never watched the show. I think I watched one episode of the show and I couldn't actually, the effects. I couldn't stand the effects. I think I watched the two episodes of that. And then I was like, dude,

I wish ever all the effects looked like the effects in the whale. Looks so good when he fat and he floats and it looks good when they make Snickers bars. I assume those are fake bars. Yeah. There's got to be fake bars. They have to be fake bars. They have to be fake bars. They have to be fake lights that they film the whale on there.

You know they used to make fake fake. snickers and like fake chocolate movies you know they use soap they use poop yeah soap with poop on it soap with poop on it they use a stick of poop that's a 99% poop and just has a string of soap in the middle to clean it like have you ever been to that store lush

to hold no oh well it's a lot of the lush there's another store called flush yeah that they're next to each other next door it's kind of slush does soap and flush does poop and so they they have a connection yeah I don't go to because they're both bathroom products you went to hell stores today I didn't go to a single store

exposed how many stores did you all hit I know y'all went to the Nintendo store two three bro mm-hmm three B and H dude no four four went to four stores you got soup dumplings for free

we did we got free soup dumplings this is an amazing is that kind of a store yes restaurants or stores a food store then it's five there's a movie theater a store

yes six is a train a store no you just unless you buy a chocolate from a little kid I got that you bought a you no I hate them kids. You hate those kids? Yeah, first of all, I'm like, guys, if it's okay to sell chocolate, then I'd be doing it.

Yeah. Like, I'm not going to bend the rules for you. Do you have a permit, buddy? Just because you're a cute little kid. Like, listen, sure, I get it. You want to sell chocolate. I do too, but there's rules for a reason. Yeah.

Sit your ass down. Y'all little kids watch. And enjoy that chocolate yourself. Y'all little kids watch SpongeBob. You thought you could go door-to-door selling chocolates to get, to get. I guess, I forget what SpongeBob wants on that. What does he want? Money.

Okay. We saw an iPhone baby. We saw a baby with an iPhone. Really? A newborn baby had a full-ass iPhone. A little baby who had his own iPhone. Yeah. Was swallowed up in the carriage and was holding the iPhone like this.

Whoa. It was like scrolling and taking pictures. Checking out like what. As you were saying that he owes money to like. Well, the mom was handing it to the baby and out. And it was like the mom was doing like, Okay, put in your Venmo, here. Yeah.

Yeah. Or Colchie is what I meant. What's that? Clarnah is different from Colchie. Callsci is the one. It's like betting, but it's like a market or whatever. Oh. And then Clarnia is like, you take out like a personal loan for like $100.

You don't like day trading and loan and, uh, no, I'm into. And stocks? I'm into baking and work with my hands. Mm. Buddy, you can buy supplies for that on Clark, through Klarna. I don't think so. Yeah, you can buy baking supply.

Hey, I want to, I want to, how about I finance a lay crusay? I want to finance a piece of flour. It's a major flour. Yeah, you could do that. I know someone that finances all their Uber Eats orders. They're so fucked up. Yeah.

That's a smart idea. That is a smart idea. It's a money move. They're getting hell of points. You spent $100 on Uber Eats food and you're paying for it $9 every six months. Yeah. End up paying about $175. You're paying $175 over the course of six months.

Okay. You do that every week and it spreads out enough that it's like you're not spending any money at all. Because you're going to get up. In New York City, you spend $10 just to go outside. In New York City, we all just get free money just from being around. From Kathy Hochel. I was supposed to get $200 from her apparently. I miss her.

God, I fucking miss her in a while. She used to be my number one. I just used to hang out with her all the time. Yeah. Dude. Cocaine, though. I used to have friends. She got a problem.

You used to? A couple days ago, and they disappeared. Yeah, they all left you. All my friends disappeared. Yeah, I noticed that there was a guy who took him on a beautiful Christmas Manhattan outing that he doesn't even consider a friend. All we did was go to the store today. We looked at beautiful Christmas trees. We listened to Christmas music.

We ate cookies together. Went to the movies. I took him to the movies. I took him to get food. I took him to all of his favorite stores. We saw Christmas. I would never go. My friends are gone.

I would never go into Santa Drove. by us. Santa drove by us. Oh, that's true. We saw Santa. He didn't give a fuck. He didn't care. I don't care about that guy. He doesn't know I paid that. I paid Santa to drive by so he would think Santa was real. Yeah. Still. I was going to do that

when I think my my niece and nephews are going to come here and the window's gone on this. So I can't do this. But they don't, they no longer. It's not Santa. Not Santa. But I was going to because we have that Spider-Man costume here. Yes. My niece and nephews.

used to believe that I lived in the same neighborhood as him. That's Spider-Man. So I was going to walk down the street when they come and visit. I was going to walk. I was going to give Caleb like $20 to stand on his roof dressed up like Spider-Man so that we could walk by. And then I'd be like, oh, my God.

Oh, my God, guys, look, Spider-Man is at his house. And it's just Caleb on his roof, dressed up like Spider-Man looking down, doing this. Yeah, so that my niece and nephews think that I no Spider-Man. That's cool. And I saw him in my neighborhood. That would have been an amazing idea.

That would have been amazing. But my nephew just turned... They no longer believe. My nephew just turned nine years old. There's no way I can get him with that. How old are your kids supposed to be when you first tell him Spider-Man isn't real? I think nine. 15, I agree.

Some people 15, apparently, but I think nine. Five. Nine is too early. They lose the childlike magic of believing Spider-Man. I still believe in Batman. You still do? Yeah. Batman will happen soon. Batman will happen.

Yeah, I believe not that he is real. But he will soon be real. Yeah. Yeah. Surely one of them will finally break off. One of these billionaires will finally be like, God, I need to do something for the people. You know who's going to be? Who's going to have my vote?

Kalshi, Mark Zuckerberg. Wow. He's going to put on the... Wow. That's actually a crazy... Because he's been doing martial arts. He does do all times of things. He's been training.

And he's going on Rogan to just be like... He's getting on the meta quest and acting like that pool. Yeah. Oh, my God. You know what? I want to be Batman. I actually want to be Batman. Yeah.

And he's all. been he's been acting so fucking cringe and useless and awful in all these interviews and just being a fucking wet noodle and just be looking so pathetic and it's like oh this is all just to it's he's putting up a

smoke screen. So because he's gonna come out in the interviews and be like I actually really like ketchup ketchup is actually low key fire to me then gets home puts on the Batman right yeah no one save the city no one would suspect a thing

he goes he's putting up a literal smoke screen because remember the every the only thing that people talked about him for the longest time was that fucking video of him in his backyard going smoking meats we're going to be smoking fucking fucking fucking right in front of our fucking eyes right in front of our eyes did also he went he went on Joe Rogan last week and he did an interview that's really weird yeah he was he was on there he was like I just my name I was like my name is now Wayne be Wayne Mark Wayne I forgot what the be worth stand for yeah be maybe it's maybe it's butter scotch

Boyne. My name is Booyne. My name is Bois. Was he on Theo Vaughn where they were showing him the like AI picture of him kneeling down with his tongue out? And he was going like. He's like, yeah, man. That's a really weird picture. I don't know. I don't really like that one.

Yeah. Yeah. It's weird. So funny. Yeah, man, you got your tongue out. You got your name tongue out. You're asking for that shit, man. That's a good picture.

Yeah, that is a good picture. We should you create it. We should recreate it? Yeah. Yeah, you want to recreate it right now. Get on the tallest one here. You're the only one who can get in front of that camera and go and make it look right. We're talking about something else.

Yeah, we were. I don't know what we were talking about. Tip-dump things. We got it from free. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It wasn't that interesting. It was nice.

Let's just move on then. I had some parogis last night at a venue. Dude, good work. This venue, Warsaw. Good work. I don't know what I said good work. Thank you. I had parogies at a show.

You did it. And kilbasa. It was crazy. Oh, I fucking love kilbasa. I've never had. I had parogis at a music venue. Yeah, I can't say I have either. You go to a concert?

You got food? Yeah. I wanted to try. My friend was working the bar and he was like, dude, you got to try the parogies. The food bar? No, he was working the bar inside of the venue. And then he was like, go try the parogies. They're really good.

And then I did. That's crazy. Dude, I want to have kibasa very soon. Yeah. I went and saw. To me, the smell of kibasa cooking is the best smell in the world. I went and saw this band Marietta. This is one of my girlfriend's favorite bands.

I'm not too familiar with them They're the name of a location in Georgia Yes, but apparently The Venn diagram I think 7% of that audience Said hello to me last night I think we need to go on tour with this band Interesting

It was multiple people Within the first couple of minutes Came up to me and said hello You should send a message And I'll send a message right now Don't ever think you can fucking do that again Okay Don't bother me when I'm out in public

I'm a very private person no I said hello to every single one of them Can I drop a... I said hello to every single one of them I introduced them all to my girlfriend Can I drop a hot take? Yeah I don't think the food bar

Should be touching the The drink bar You don't think so I don't think that the drink bar Attendee should touch the food They're not I don't think food should touch Drink

They're not together They're in separate parts of the venue I think they should be in separate rooms And you can only get soda and water over there I think Yeah And then the other room was where the beer was

Where my friend was working They should separate the restaurants by food and beer. They do. I think they do. Okay. But I do agree with you. No, you mean in the real world.

They do have bars where you can order, you order the food at the bar. Yeah. And that I don't like. I think you're right. Yeah. Because you have to wait because there's fucking five people all around. They just give you the little tower. The little tower.

A tower. You have to trust. This is what happens when you, when you order food at a drinking bar. You go up and you say, yeah, can I have a burger and I'll have French fries and I'll get a beer. And they say, yeah, Okay, sure. And then they go, and they turn around, and they go like this on their touchpad. They're playing around.

For about 10 minutes straight. Yeah. Because it's confusing. You see them tap something, tap something else. Look, back, back, back, back, back, back, tap, tap, tap, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back. And they turn it and they say, it was what, it was French fries and a taco, right? Yeah. No, it was a burger. No, it was a burger.

And they go, oh. Yeah. And then they give you this. And then they give you this. Yeah. They give you a little tower, the tower. And then the guy. Can I say something real quick?

You can do this, but just if you're going to give me this, I'm going to give you this. Okay, now you say your thing. So they do all that. They do all that with a POS system, right? Yeah. Which it is a POS system. It is a piece of shit system. It is.

But then the fucking. And if I'm going to give you the, if you. Yeah. And then do that again. And if you're going to give me this, I'm going to give you this. Wait, who's saying that though? I'm saying this. No, if the bartender is giving me this.

Okay. You know this. You know this. I don't know what that is. This is American slang. This. When you order food and they give you this? You know, that's a slur in Korea right now?

What? Yeah. What? This? This. Okay, you did it. Yeah, you did it.

And you actually are Korean. You actually are Korean. So, people are going to step doing it. But then, okay, so the bartender gives you this, then you do this. And then they do this, this, this. And then after they're done doing that, you're sitting there waiting. You've already had six beers because you've been waiting for your food so long. Yeah.

And then the runner comes out. And the runner does this. look at yeah yeah yeah and then you watch them go six times they watch you watch you watch go to the other side of the bar and give give it to someone yeah i think that's ours i think that's ours and you say it loud enough you say it loud enough so that you can hear you yeah i think that's our and then it and then it actually isn't yeah and then it isn't then he comes over and it's like did you get this and it's like a hot dog with fucking corn on it and you're like i did not even ever see that ones in my life on the menu but i'll eat it i'll hey i'll eat it but hey i'll eat it if

you're keeping it here and then they go, please actually don't do that. That's what happened to us, the soup dumplings. They said, someone canceled their order, so we're just going to give you these. They're very fresh. Wow. Honestly, her saying they're very fresh to those made me doubt our food.

Yeah, it was a little scary, but then I ate four of them. They were very, they were very fresh. Yeah. Well, they were very hot. Dude, she was, she was, she was trying to it was, these were marrying me dumplings and she was I know that running a restaurant is probably really stretchable and hard, but she was like, she was like all over the place.

there was like three people in that restaurant including us which was really funny of me Uber eats dude Uber eats is what makes restaurants horrible there's no the restaurant half of the restaurant it was like a restaurant that had two it was just like a random dumpling place

you just walked into and it was like half a dumpling place and then half some other kind of like Asian restaurant but the other half was like closed it was like due to like maintenance it was like gas maintenance oh sick so people also kept coming in and then like trying to go to the other one

And then the person was like, yeah, we canceled your order. You can't have your food. That's interesting to just cancel the order instead of just like giving it to them and making them. Well, they couldn't make the food. That was the problem. Because the gas. I didn't really understand, but like half,

but obviously there was gas. Like the whole situation, everything was very strange in this place. Someone that came in there were like, oh, no, we canceled the order. Yeah. And then like two minutes later, she came up with like four things of soup dumplings. So she was like, someone canceled their order. There you go. Here, you guys could have this.

Again, she was trying to make Julio stay. forever. I think she was in love with me. I said, thank you. She didn't even say thank you or say anything when I said thank you.

Oh, you didn't? I said thank you to her and nothing. Dude. I'm telling you. New York is falling apart. We went to a... It's the Fox, bro.

She could sense the Fox energy from your animal cards from the Patreon episode. Go listen to it. Jolly Jolly. Yeah, it was closed. It was papered clothes. It was papered clothes.

A guy... For maintenance, right? We saw the guy close it. There was a work order on the door. We saw the guy close it. He locked it up with a lock. And I was kind of like, we should just go in there and go ask him.

Can you just get us one piece of food from there? Please. I wish. We had a total New York adventure. We went to a few stores. Dude, I want to go to Jollybee so bad again. Yeah, I, I, we even said as you're walking up to it, you said verbatim, what did you say? Dude, I said, my trip so far has been completely horrible, but it's about to turn into a perfect one.

And then we got there and all the windows were blocked up. Oh, my God. So basically, that's why you got to go to the one in Little Manila. Little Vanilla, bro. I want a little vanilla on my dinner tonight. We should do, we should have a full ice cream day. Vanilla. Vanilla chicken, little vanilla chicken.

Water bottle, little, lita. What was it? Water bottle, lita. Water bottle, lita. I added another lita to. Water bottle, little, lita. That's his song. Water bottle, little, little, water bottle, little.

If you were to rate me in my performance review, what number would you give me? Your performance review? Just real quick, real quick. Okay. Guy named water bottle, dida little. Okay. Okay. So.

You have just, I've, you, in your performance review, I think as a, as a guest on the show, as a guest, you're doing great. Yeah. Really? You're doing great as a guest. As a producer, bottom marks. Right now, today's episode, as a producer, extremely bottom marks, because you're not even over at the producer's chair. Yeah. Cameron's producing it.

Right. Basically one camera, one audio recorder. But now as, as the clips maker. Do you put produced by Jubio on the descriptions? Mm-hmm. Do you? I think I do. Can you start putting engineered by camera?

Cameron. I'll do that as well. Yeah. Just for once. But I'm learning now as a clips producer that you are not doing any of your work. No, that's not true. You admitted to me as your boss. You admitted to me. I don't do my work.

I just let the AI transcribe it. You want a third of my boss. I'm one third of your boss. But I'm a social media director. This is a message. Hey, get the, I'm going to say to our fans, get this message where it needs to be. While Julio is staying at my house, I watched him produce another podcast and y'all need to have his pay. Get this where it needs to be.

Y'all know who I'm talking about. Anyway. Anyway, I'm also, okay, so if they have to have his pay, then we have to have his workload, and I'm going to just take over his job. We'll double your pay. Yeah, double my pay and half my workload. Okay.

Yeah, okay. Sounds good. We can do that. Triple my friend time. Can I just ask like a quick unrelated question? Yeah. Do you want to see me starve to death on the street? Do you want to see me in rags?

This is part of the review? Is this part of the review? And your answer matters. Well, this is part of your performance reviewed. Do you want to see him starve on the streets begging for money, playing guitar to make his meal, to make his jamit to sing for his chair?

I've had a magic guitar that makes food when you play it. Yeah. So that's what he meant. He's got to sing for his supper. So someone who's just fresh up of watching, um, Rental family. Yes.

I know this might just be a trick question. Required viewing for today's episode. So pause right now and then go to the movies. I thought a lower third would show up on the screen that says. Pause right here. And go see rental family. All this edits will be done. He hates editing.

Yeah. Go to the pause right now. He hates the thing we pay. Talk to the nervous guy and be like, can I have a glass of water from your house? I would love to meet this nervous guy. This must be a truck question. This is an old man? No.

No. It was a normal guy. It's probably a 10 years older than us. Okay. Maybe a little older. But not an old man at all. He might know you from the balloon boy video you made. I wasn't in that video.

Yeah, I know, but he could know your work, bro. I don't think he knew my work. Do you think people, when people meet James Patterson on the street, do you think they're thinking, oh my God, I know him from, or, yeah, exactly. Jimmy Curtis dazzled dazzle myself you authored

you authored the video you author why are you so into authors like this lately I'm I remember the other day are you reading

James Patterson no no no no no no no I remember the other day that I've talked about it before but when Gordon

Corman came to my school the children's author the guy who goes on the show on the singing karaoke no that's James Gordon

I don't fucking know anything singing karaoke dude i don't just don't know anything james cordon singing karaoke no but he uh i just remembered the time that like he came to my school and it was supposed to like we were reading his book schooled as a as like a bullying PSA i think i've definitely talked about this and then someone asked him how the book pertains to like bullying and like if he was ever picked on as a kid and he's like yeah no i i have no idea i've no idea like yeah there's bullying in the book but like were you

guys like reading it for like bullying or whatever and it was like the school like raised a bunch of money to get him to come do this like book tour oh my god to like talk about this thing and now he's broke oh shit broken but uh what was the fucking oh oh my friend Alex got an applause a round of applause going because he said like when I was a kid I liked Monty Python and Alex was bored so he just like the whole school to clap at that just to confuse him. him. And he's like, all right, I guess London Derry Middle School, big Monty Python fans. Wow.

Yeah, I was thinking about that. I should check and make sure there was a room on the computer's hard drive. Oh, yeah. That's a good question. But there was. And I figured, and I made happen at the school. We got to like Yeah, Caleb will do that. Yeah, that's Caleb's job. I think maybe that guy had a

one of those premonitions where you can't really tell the final destination. Yeah. You can't really explain it succinctly to a person who just goes, I'm nervous but what's not going to happen to you nervous man yeah I'm nervous I'm nervous that is a and he said it in a way that felt endearing I felt charmed but you can that's definitely a phrase you can say in a way that would really be off-putting he's probably he was nervous to meet you bro because you authored the balloon no I am not like that oh he was like I'm

I'm standing here let my eyes are laying them my eyes are laid upon the man who created the scary chef you think this could do my eyes I'm know you from know your meme, man. I bet people don't even fucking know that about me that I'm a career. You're on the most popular memes that I literally. I was thinking about that the other day. Yeah. I bet you were on no. I think all three of us are on know your me. We're in the halls of, the halls of fame on know your meme. Me. I don't know if you are. We'll get you there. Here, just say something right now. I don't want to. Make your

meme. Okay. I don't want to. The J. The J. The J meme. I've been going viral anyways. I don't care. That could be a meme too. I'm going viral. For sure, man. Totally. We need 1,000 gifts made of Julio's performance on today's episode. Jubio Sexo. Do you have this stuff for this episode? Yes, but it's on my computer over there. Okay. We can turn the camera and we can go over to my computer.

No, I think that's okay. Okay. And you just send it to yourself or something? Yeah, I can send it to you. Yeah, send it to me. I can, I'll pull them out. I do think that Final Destination might happen to me because when I first flew here a couple days ago,

my first plane that landed in not New York but my layover yes it seemed as though the pilot had never landed

a plane before interesting because it was so wobbling and just like hovering over the like the tarmac for like a long ass while

he was thinking oh do I land it do I go back up I've never landed a plane before so is it supposed to touch the ground or am I supposed to go back in the air

someone who likes movies you might get this reference you know that scene in interstellar when they're trying to line up the circles oh the planets yeah the planets no the ships circles oh the two eyes

yeah something like that Matthew McConae's eyes yeah they're trying to line two shit up together and it's so tense that it goes completely silent interesting and the plane went silent the air left the room the air left did you suffocate I suffocated and then we've lined

and then you land it and you heard the pilot go whew yeah he went into the Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so sorry. Ladies and gentlemen, I just tried that for the first time. I'm happy to report. I guess I can do it. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm nervous. I'm just a little...

I'm just a little nervous today. Dude, we haven't talked about Christmas at all this year. That would be the worst thing in the world to hear the pilot get on the fucking plane. I'm nervous. The intercom and just got, ladies and gentlemen, I'm nervous. Did you guys see the video? The plane wobble? I feel like I'm misremembering this.

video. Yeah. Or I don't know, is this like, I don't, what video is this even a video or is this from a movie or is this something that somebody just said? But I feel like I saw a video that was like a pilot being like to a nervous flyer being like, we are, or no, it was like, it was, he came over the intercom and he was like, and I have a daughter in like the city where we're coming to. So I, and I'm going to make it home to her.

Like something like everyone was like there was crazy turbulence or something. Yeah. Was this real? I don't know. Maybe it was one of those airplanes set sketches. Yeah. I think there's been a lot of crazy. There's been a ton of airplanes set.

Asora AI videos. Well, yeah, they've been like crazy plane reels recently. Yeah. Yeah. Where did you send this? I sent it to your email. Okay. But I found, I looked up today just on the internet,

the phrase, my idea for a Christmas movie. Great. And I want to just give all of like a, like combining everything that we talked about in the first half of this episode. performance review, and movies. Oh, my God. We're going to review these Christmas movie IDs. Okay.

Do you want to read them? I can't read them. You have the computer. Well, I'll give the computer to you. I think it's a, it's a portable computer. Yeah, that's my question. I'm not the best reader here.

You want me to read them? I can read them. We can just make the choice. Yeah, we'll take turns. We'll take turns. Buddy, I'm not the best. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. Which one am I starting with here?

It can start with any. Maybe go from the bottom of the top. Okay. Let's see what was on the bottom here. So we're doing, guys, it's finally December. It's Christmas time, Christmas movies. Christmas, Christmas is the time. Here's the bottom.

This is from R-slash movie ideas. Which is a great sub-reddit. I didn't know that existed. Yeah. We should do. Honestly, we should go through R-slash-movie ideas right now and find more. Yeah. Because I think I only sent three ideas.

No, there's, this is plenty. But also just look up Christmas on movie ideas. No, we got plenty, dude. Okay. A new Christmas movie idea. entitled an elf's new life. And then it has like kind of a code block where it's like one line.

The code block is the most interesting part of it. A side scrolling like code block that is really long and it says a young elf named Snowy Flakes has lived at the North Pole for over 1,000 years, tirelessly making toys listening to Christmas music and eating sweets 24-7. But he's grown restless. Unlike other elves, he dreams of experience

a human culture firsthand something he has only glimpsed through his secret observations of humans. However, elves are strictly forbidden from entering the human world. Now this has the whole thing written out. So that was just the summary. Act 1. The Escape. Wow. One day, Snowy Flakes is reassigned

from toy making to checking the Nottie and Nice list. Do y'all know the movie Polar Express? I do. The system of the Noddy and Nice list is how it will be like in my movie. This gave him a rare opportunity to observe human society more closely, fueling his desire to leave

even further. Determined to break free, he catches a plan. Before sneaking on to Santa Slan, Christmas Eve. He does some research and contacts a school in the United States, posing as an orphan from Canada, who is enrolling as an exchange student. He even creates a new identity, Thomas, to blend in. With a bit of magic, he hides his elf ears and prepares to embark on his greatest adventure. You had no idea that there was going to be even elf talk today. I really didn't even know. You wore elf ears. I had them. Wow. Act to a new life. I like that he's like, okay, I'm going to contact his school and I'm going to say I'm an orphan.

Uh-huh. From Canada. Smart. Yeah. He's used to the cold climate. This is Loki feels like the lore. You ever seen that video of the people like freaking out at a like a school bus and they're like kicking a like seemingly a kid out of the school bus? Oh, yes.

And it's a little person. A little person being a creep. Yeah. It's kind of feels like the lore to that. Like it's a, I think it's an elf trying to be a creep. That's the, that's the reason he was on the bus. Yeah. Maybe we finally got his backstone.

Yeah. You know, maybe. I mean, I remember correctly, they did throw a toy at him at the end of the video. Yeah. Dude, this is crazy. Act 2. A New Life. Thomas arrives at his host family's home where he meets their son, who is initially resistant to having an exchange student.

The boy fears losing his parents' attention. Well, it's not an exchange student. Yeah. The boy is not going to the North Pole. Right. Who are they exchanging him with? But after Thomas reveals his true identity as an elephant demonstrates his magic, they become close friends. Thomas starts school where he quickly makes him.

makes friends and immerses himself in human traditions. Through a series of time skips, Thomas experiences various American holidays, as well as fun excursions for the first time. And then we have like a bulleted list. I think this is like a montage. Valentine's Day. He receives a letter from a girl who will later become

his wife. Wow. Okay, so he's also in elf years. His elf years are hidden. His elf years are hidden, but it says thousands of years at the blurb. Yeah. So this is a 1,000-year-old man picking up children. Yeah. it's just twilight man yeah st patrick's day oh my god st patrick's day he and his friends dress in green that's good easter they participate in an egg hunt summer his host family takes him on an overseas vacation broadening his cultural experiences where did he also experience the fourth of july the beach pool water parks and amusement parks okay halloween he dresses up and enjoys trick-or-treating thanksgiving he experiences a traditional feast for the first time wow for the first time in his life thomas is truly happy

I have an elf question Yeah You ask your LF question I got an answer Can I else be exposed to warm or hot climates And beachy Endeavors Yeah

We love it In this movie Okay You think that they couldn't handle the beach By the way Whoever this gets sold to Be it Paramount MGM Warner Brothers

Searchlight Something like that search The Fox Searchlight Sony Pictures classics Yeah 824 Yeah, H-20s, atomic monster. Atomic monster, neon, Bloomhouse. The Halloween part, what he goes as for Halloween,

Easter egg from their biggest franchise. That's my idea. That's pretty smart. That's pretty smart. So for Halloween, maybe, you know, it's picked up by Blumhouse, right? So the conjuring. He goes as the conjuring. He goes as the Patrick.

Patrick. Patrick. Patrick. Patrick Wilson and the conjuring. Uh-huh. Goes as the black phone. The phone itself. Or he goes, say, it's like Warner Brothers.

Yeah. He goes as Bugs Bunny or Colin Farrell's penguin. Oh, that's good. That's good. Things of this nature. Yeah, I really like that idea. That's really smart. That's, I think, one, that's, I think, something you bring to the table when it comes to a movie idea.

824, he goes as Khei Kwe Kwan. Khei Wei Kwan. Khei Kha Wei Kwan from the everything everywhere else. And if it's MTV movies, maybe he goes to his water bottle, let us. Yes. Yes. If it's Sullivan the Frog movies, if we do end up picking this up, which who knows. No, we're in talks.

Mm-hmm. He will go as Water Bottolita La. Honestly, he should just go as Water Bottolita Lola even no matter who buys it. Just put that in the script already. Yeah. I mean, he's a cultural figure. Water bottle Lidala is an elf celebrity

that humans don't know, so it almost tips, it almost tips off the disguise. Yes. Where he's like, I'm Water Bottolita. You don't know Water Bottolita Lita? And everyone's like, they just think he's joking around

and being funny, but he's like, that was a close one. Yeah. What did you fucking say? Nothing. Act three. Act three, the North Pole responds. That's a scary name for an act. I'm imagining this becomes a very military.

How long is this fucking movie? Dude, it's three acts in an epilogue. Yeah, okay. Back at the North Pole, the elves finally realized snowy flakes is missing. With Christmas approaching, every elf is needed. And during a roll call, his absence becomes undeniable. The elf police track him down in the U.S. and capture him, taking him back to the North Pole, where he is placed on trial.

with Santa Claus as the judge in an emotional plea, Snowy Flakes confesses his love for the human world and expresses his desire to stay. He recounts the joy of his new life, his friendships, and his dreams of truly becoming human. His words shock the elves. No elf has ever wished to abandon their

identity before. Moved by his heartfelt request, Santa uses Christmas magic to transform Snowy Flakes into a human. Wow. However, this change comes at a cost. He will lose all memories of his past as an elf. To complete the transition, Santa also alters the memories of those who knew Thomas's true identity,

ensuring that he is permanently integrated into human society as a Canadian orphan. Wow. Epilogue. A happy ending. Okay. Thomas. Not snowy flakes. Thomas wakes up on Christmas morning with no recollection of his past life.

While opening his presence, he finds an adoption certificate. His host family has officially made him their son. Overjoyed, he embraces his new family, unaware of the life he once lived. Fast word 25 years. Thomas is now married to the girl who once gave him his first Valentine. Wow. He has two children, and while visiting them all, his kids take a picture with Santa Claus. Unbeknownst to him, this Santa is the real Santa.

By the way, I was watching a YouTube video the other day. That would be funny if this was... Yeah, by the way, I was watching a YouTube video. My wife was watching one of her home renovation YouTubers. Yes. And they said the word unbeknownst as unbeknownst. And I thought that was funny, because they thought. I clearly thought it was tied to the word announced.

I say it like that sometimes. Unbeknown. Well, it's known. Unbeknown. I think I've heard it both ways to a point where I like, I'm like, okay, I know what it means. Maybe in your head. But maybe I'm wrong for saying, like, you know. Benounced?

Yeah. I've heard it is unbeknown. I've never, I had never heard it either. Announced. What do you make this movie? Oh, well, there's still. Yeah, we got to finish the epilogue. Unbeknownst to him, this sin is the real Santa who has come to check in on his former elf.

The elves assisting Santa are all. also real wanted to see their old friend one last time as Thomas examines Santa. He experiences a fleeting moment of deja vu as if he somehow knows Santa. When he asks, Santa simply smiles and says, no, he haven't met. Thomas rucks it off, leaving them all with his family, completely happy with his new life. Santa and his elves, watch him go, proud of the choice he made, Fade to Black. Wow. Okay, so as part of the...

How would you punch this up? I'm not into that type of I'm not into that whole thing you don't you don't like this well I'm also I also like can I just throw this out there really quick this was posted nine months ago

so this person had this idea in March and we're like get this out there right fucking now I can't wait I think as part of the potential buyer's desk for this movie I would sit here and I would look

at the creators in the eyes and I would go like this is Fred Klaus with Vince Vaughn. Is that right? I've never seen Fred Claus. I think I saw it once. Yeah?

I would also say this. I think I saw it once. I think it's just Fred Claus. Let's look at. I think I've seen this before. I think Fred Claus. It sounds like Fred Claus to me with Vince Vaughn. That's my favorite type of movie ideas when like midway through you realize like,

oh fuck, this is a different movie that already exists. Not the whole thing, but like it usually is. The general idea is low-key Fred Claus. Yeah, they're like reading like, Like R slash movie ideas where it's like... But that's so many Christmas movies are about an elf or a Santa Claus wanting to join the human world. It's like, well, this is a magical culture that we can't... Dude, let me do you one better and also hit your knee.

It's the Little Mermaid, man. Yeah. It's Christmas-fied Little Mermaid. Yeah. Which isn't a bad idea. I just think that spending half the elf... I think spending half the movie, I feel like they have to know that this elf is gone immediately. And he has to be, there has to be like a him hiding type.

I'm also imagining, because they gave them act titles, I'm imagining that they come up on screen like a Quentin Tarantino movie. Dun, dun, dun, dun, done, done, act too. The North Pole responds, I think needs to be way more action-packed because that is such an incredibly chilling. You know what's a, we need a Judge Holden type Santa who's coming in, just indiscriminately killing people like, where's my fucking elf? Yeah.

Not Judge Holden, but. That's how Judge Holden acts. No, who am I thinking of? Judge Dred, bro. Judge, not Judge Dredd. Judge Dredd. Judge, actually more Judge Dred. Walking into Christmas Town.

George Dredd because he broke Elf Law. Yeah, he did. They sent out Elfacutioners. Check that out. Oh, my God. Wait, okay, so we add this to the North Pole response, right? But then the first half of the movie, we have to have them gearing up. Like, it can't be like...

You're trying to get this shit way violent, bro. Yes. Yes. There is no Christmas movies for just adults except for reindeer games. you know what's a never seen a red one i just thought about this shout out red one what if we read two um i think a movie that we should make into a christmas movie is begonia okay i haven't seen it yet is so smart we just seen it yeah we just seen it it's fresh in our minds we're watching movies yeah yeah i've not been

it's uh i've been listening to music rock on i don't want to say it now because i don't want to spoil the thing so let's just discard that editor let's okay well i know the basic plot so you think You want an elf to be captured and kept in someone's house? Something like that, yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Here, let's, you, you want to read this next movie idea here? Funny Christmas movie idea.

By Swimming Agency 2969 two years ago. Okay. A man who hates Christmas moves to a new neighborhood after getting an amazing new job. His family loves Christmas, but he's the only one who doesn't. It turns out they move into a neighborhood that is the famous candy cane lane of their town. I think this would be Wait What?

I think this would be a hilarious story To see acted out Maybe one day someone will make He didn't even Do we make this movie With this type of story That's it Wait

Ben Stiller Someone left a comment And fleshed out his movie Okay there we go Robin wrong pencil said Yeah Ben Stiller As an older single

Divorce guy Retiring after a long career Ben Stiller In the Tropic Thunder He's embittered and he's cynical of humanity He buys a modest house in the town He's an actor and begins to realize something It's soft when he gets to root looks for not putting up

Christmas decorations There's also a different movie At first the town's folk Disrust them but gradually get to know his heart As he helps them out of jams and such Then the town gets into some sort of mafia trouble With the Christmas tree cartel Who's looking to want to play business in the whole area

Ben Stiller needs to call upon his specop's training And organize the town's folk to take down the Christmas cartel. Now, this is violent night. Yeah. If I was swimming agency and he will tell the guy, like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

What are you talking about? I don't want Bill Stiller to be doing all that shit. I think. Yeah, why Ben Stiller? Ben Stiller is not a good choice. Ben Stiller's a weird pick for that. Two years ago, Ben Stillerland.

Okay, but hold up. Cross over. Get ready. Get ready. Mm-hmm. Two, one movie that never got a sequel. One movie that only got two sequels.

Elf. Meet the elves. Oh, there we go. Meet the elves. Meet the elves. Yes. Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Flesh it out.

Okay, so do you know the two movies I'm referring to? Yeah. Yeah. Well, then it pretty much... Little fuckers and meet the... Little elves. Meet the parents and elves. Meet the little fucking elves.

Meet the little fucking elves. Meet the little fucking elves. That's what it could be called. Yeah, it's not a bad idea. Yeah, so it combines little fuckers with Christmas. and Elfs. Elfs, which also went, I just saw a video of Will Ferrell saying he will never do an elf sequel.

And hey, Will, the clock is ticking. You are going to do an elf sequel. Do it right now. You're not fooling anybody. That paycheck, that fucking... I've seen you in those PayPal commercials, Will. I know. We've talked about this before,

but I'm saying, man, your biological clock is ticking. Uh-huh. Your comedy eggs are drying up. James Cameron's elves. Yep. There we go. Amazing idea. Let's flesh this out. Do you know that he's older than James Kahn when he was in that movie? Really? Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell is older than James Gunn.

James Kahn. In that movie? Oh, that's not true. But that's probably true, though. That's true. It's not true at all. It might be true. There's no way that's true. That's true. Someone can look it up.

I mean, I think Will Ferrell is older than James Gunn or the same age. Will Ferrell I'm not telling any tales out of school weird Hard to tell how old James Gunn is because of his his scary white hair

He does look like Wolf Blitzer now Dude you don't need Your phone right now I want to scroll TikTok though Yeah you go You get us

To another movie idea Is this I guess I'm buying Mr. Elf Goes into the new I'd rather do No I'd rather

Get James Cameron's elves Or meet the Little Falkin Elves Yeah Is a good idea For her movie can I also lodge a complaint why the hell did they call that third movie

Little Fockers and not Meet the Littles Meet the Little Fockers I think the working title was Meet the Little Fockers Better be And then some fucking Meet the parents, meet the Fockers Little Fockers also

In a vacuum you would have no idea that Little Fockers was related to those other two movies at all It was the working title because it was the only title that worked Yep Come on And Little Fockers I still have not watched I've been putting that one off

but for a rainy day, because I know that that is going to hit with the popcorn and just getting to see my best friend Gaylord again as well as Robert Deere. And you know what? I want to also say, I just remember this. Skylo Gisando is now a fawker. What? Skylar Jizondo is now a fawker. Is he actually, or you're pitching that?

No, because look, look, proud to be a fawker. As you can see, initial fan reaction looks. Whoa. They're making a meet the pair, a new man. meet the parents? They're making a fourth. They're making grown-up fawkers? Uh-huh. Big fawkers? They're making big fawkers. No way. With Gisando. With Gisando? Holy shit. That is a

beautiful... And the deadline article came out on my birthday. Thank you for getting, for putting this on my computer for me. Let's see this carousel. What the hell? In Tocastas, opposite Arianda Grande and meet the parents for. Is that true? Who's Ariana Grande going to be? A fawker. They're going to be brother and sister. Why are directors of friends?

to put her with someone hot. Come on now. What? Leave Gisando alone. Justando, you are number one. Leave Skyler alone. Okay. He's now,

he's in the Focker family. Now he's in the Shrek family as well. Yeah. Forkel. Leave him alone. Farcus. What's his name? Farkle?

Wait, Fockle? Oh my God. What's his name? He's going to show up in the Fokker's movie as a green Shrek. They're actually are doing a crossover. Yes. They're going to do that.

I swear to God that's going to happen. Now, I'm going to share this to your Instagram. Don't. Please don't. See, I fucking. This is why I didn't want to give you my computer, man. Pat, can you DM him on Instagram?

Cameron's not logged in. No, on your phone. You know what? Right now. Not right now. No, no, no, no. Let's, I'll DM Skylar Gizondo right now. Because I know you two are pretty close.

I think he would reply to you. You think he'll reply to me? Maybe I don't know. I'm walking that back now. Let's check if, uh, for one second. Let's check if we have any mutual friends. Me and Skyler. Oh my God.

Now it's fucking Hollywood hour. Yeah. Dude, I'm being Hollywood because I'm one. want Skyler to respond to me, man. Dude, even me as a person has gone wild recently. I don't even care about that shit. You both follow.

You follow the Superman Instagram account? Dude, you're one of those people who follow Instagram on Instagram? Dude, we both follow Superman. You pissed me off. What do you want me to say to Skyler? Not a nothing. What's up, man? Is it true that there will be a crossover between Shrek?

And then just leave it at that and let him finish it out. And the Fockers. Send him a voice note. Hey, Shrek Fockers. Meet the Green Fockers. Yeah, that's great. I mean, ask him. Okay.

He's going to say yes. Yo, Skyler, I heard a rumor. I've been in L.A. this week. Yeah, I'm lying. That's good. That's good. And I just wanted to know if this is true. Can you leave in the part where you said I'm lying?

No, that got chopped out. I'm in L.A. this week. I'm lying. Okay. Here's how it's, here's the message now. Yo, Skyler, I heard a rumor. I've been in L.A. in this week, and I just wanted to know if this is true.

Will there be a crossover between Shrek and the Foxx? Oh, you did dictate? No, I meant a voice message. You know, Mexican, bro. No, I'm not. That's so sad. To me, to me, voice message means dictation. That's a hell of different.

We'll see. Mexican guys like me and Jay understand. Yeah. That's right. I've become an honorary Mexican. That's out there. probably hindering my chances of ever becoming friends with Skyler

Gisando if he thinks that's annoying but I do this for it's going to be a big problem for you. I do this for you guys all right read this Skyler if you're watching I'm sorry the premise of the story

is that someone finds out that Santa actually exists and gives proof to his magic origins okay now that the secret's out everyone wants to capture him what because if you capture him you'll get

free presents. Is that true? That's what everyone says. This is about a leprecha. Wait, what? This is a leprechaun story. So now every Christmas, everyone sets up traps to capture Santa. As an added bonus to the story,

Santa will always visit a house with someone who was good that year. So he can't just stay at the North Pole every year. Oh, it's becoming a challenging game. Yes. A cat and mouse. And there's a lot. There's a lot of comments here. This one is Delany.

You know what we could have to this? This is the running man. this is the running man the jolly man would be the good title for this the jiggling man what's the jiggling jolly man every time becomes the eagle

for one day the purge we should do the purse the Christmas purge oh Santa yes the Christmas purge everyone becomes jolly for a day what is the Christmas purge

I don't want to I like this what is it man I like this coming here it says it's a fun idea but it runs into the classic problem

with every Santa movie how do parents explain the presents that magically appear didn't they get any presents themselves for this Christmas I wish that a movie comes up with a workaround for this plot hole and the OP says yeah that's a struggle to work around this is what are you mean okay no you can invent the whole universe bro you can invent this whole universe dude this is just art slash movie ideas it's just art lush movies yeah that's crazy this one this is a comment from somebody named lemmonster and they say could work as a sequel for fat man don't know anything about that movie what is it about about that movie a spoiled rich kid doesn't get a present for christmas so he hires a hitman to kill santa claus what is this movie fat man uh is it not

who is it's uh it's not mel gipson fat man who plays fat man fat man fat man sat man santa oh it is mel gibson it's mel gibson mel gibson as santa right walton goggins and marian jean baptiste baptiste whoa stacked ass ass and dude you know that Chance Hertzfeld is in that movie as Billy Wienin. I love it when a bad movie gets their cast is considered

attacked years later. Yeah. And you go back and you're like, what are you guys doing here? Oh my God! They were all in this? No way. Bill thumbnail? Dude. Bill thumbnail? Bill thumbnail. Hold on.

That's his name. Right there. Real thumbnail. Oh my God. No, that's Bill Turnbull, bro. Eric Wardle? What the fuck? Eric Wurdle. Bill Thumbnail and Eric Wurdle. Dude, those glasses aren't working. There's something wrong with your computer, bro.

Oh, Michael Dyson plays Herman. I'm not buying this movie, by the way. Daniel Garcia, Elf 133. Yeah, that last movie idea was not so good. Yeah, that was not a good one. The running man. The running man, but with Santa, I get it. Can I say?

I mean, and it's, you know, it's, of course, because we found it here, but man, this idea is a little Reddit. Mm-hmm. I don't know what you just says. Me, me, if I lived in this, you know, universe and I don't know what you just said this idea is what it's a little Reddit oh me if I live in this universe a little right I was posting on Twitter I would post okay all right man I would post Santa Claus should carry again and he should be able to shoot people you would think Santa should

open carry open carry Santa Claus is a good idea for a movie yeah I said no I would post that I would be you post that on Reddit and you would get no on Twitter okay I would never post on Reddit I would post. What are you doing on my computer, man? I'm looking up R slash movie ideas Christmas for one more. Don't you have another one open? This one's for you. The Christmas Luchador. Why would you say that? Explain that

joke to me. That's very racist. It's racist? Luchadors are an incredibly problematic part of Mexican history. Okay, all right, then we won't. You know what? Then we won't read this one. We'll read a Christmas comedy from one month ago. What happened in this last? Don't you have one more that you had? Oh yeah, this one here. I forgot. why are you going through everything

this is on autism forums.com yeah and uh I mean it's just it's such a huge such a huge list here can you just read the yeah read this bold letters and just that yeah I'll just read the I'll read the bullet points

yeah so uh okay so it's just this is a fun a thread for fun just to throw some ideas around there you might have for some future films either set at this time or Christmas themed uh number one a film showing people celebrating Christmas

in multiple ways. Oh, that's a great idea. An idea is to show four or five people and show them each celebrating the holiday in their own way, interacting with each other occasionally and showing both the good and bad choices of their celebrations.

That's a great idea. That's a good idea. Like the movie Four Rooms. Yeah. It's exactly like it's called Four Christmases. Four Christmases and a funeral. And a Hanukkah. Yeah.

Four Christmases and a Hanukkah. The Christmas in the Woods. The Christmas in the Woods is one of them. The Christmas in the Woods. Number two, an adaptation of a book. They say The Grinch. Well, that's been done quite a bit. Yeah, that's been done.

Number three, was it a book? A Christmas-themed story involving aliens. Interesting. This is more of a personal choice as not taking into account Doctor Who, which is a sci-fi show that has done plenty of Christmas-themed episodes. So Dr. Who's already done it. I feel like the market's cornered. Canadian movie they watched was that, Phil the Alien, was that Christmas?

I don't think so. I think maybe it was just cold, dude. It was just Canadian cold. And the fourth and final idea for Christmas movies. A film based on a different winter holiday other than Christmas. And they cite eight crazy nights.

Because if you think about it, that is the only Hanukkah movie that I can think of. Well, I just, I don't know. I wouldn't know why. But they also, they also say that we could have a movie

about Yule, the pagan or neo-pagan holiday. Yule, yes. What's that, is it Bloomhouse that does the Winnie the Pooh public domain movies? I don't think so at all. I like that. What is that? I don't know why I did that, but it's not Bloom House, no.

Not Bloom House? No, it's just random. Yeah. Netflix tier. Well, I guess that's below, it's like random people. So Netflix is like a C tier. The asylum does some stuff like that. And it's an asylum movie.

HBO is a movie. Yeah, a knockoff of a Christmas. They should just make, they should just remake every Christmas movie. and switch it to be every holiday. Yes. Hanukkah story. Because that right there is like

and not even just winter of holidays. Mm-hmm. Arbor Day, Valentine's Day. I think they did make a sequel to a Christmas story. It should be a grid. There should be a giant grid. Mm-hmm. This should be what a TV is.

Yes. A big grid touchscreen that across the top has every Christmas movie. And then on the other, on the Y axis, it's every holiday that exists. every day of the year. Yes.

And you press, you choose what movie and you choose what day of the year to set it on and then it plays that movie for you. Christmas Grinch Hunters. Christmas Grinch.

Is Grinch Hunters a movie? I don't think you understand. That's a good idea though. Christmas Grinch hunters? I mean, it is a good idea. That's a good idea for a movie. You're saying you would go on this TV

and you would find a movie called Grinch hunters. You know what I would do? Christmas Grinch hunters. You know what holiday I would pick for for this. If I had this TV grid. December. first today when we're recording

eat a red apple day oh thank god it's either red apple day today why you pick that one and not this one over here what central african republic republic republic day yeah what do you pick that one republic republic republic day what does that mean uh it's well someone's oh the c a r

i'm not that well versed in africa someone's not such as well as we've been new i like eat a red apple day though eat a red apple day oh and we can celebrate this for noa national bartender appreciation day is today is today That's today. I appreciate. And National Mutt Day.

These are all today. Mut Day. National. Oh, my God, guys. It's National Fritters Day. Holy shit. National Fritters falls on the same day as National Build Joy Day. These are all today.

And it's safety. And it's Safety Razor Day. December has all the holidays, dude. Special Education Day. Computer Literacy Day. Number the third. These are, okay, those are all in the second. Yeah, you.

No, no. These are, oh, these are on the. second yeah I messed it up don't celebrate any of those days well here's what you can celebrate on December 3rd when this comes out okay today is Candle Day

Coats and Toys for Kids Day Great Day Okay day of Navarra What is that? Navarre I don't know I think you need to not have control of a computer No no no no no no no no no I didn't know what that was but I do know what this is.

I do know what this is Farmer's Day in Ghana. Yeah. You know Ghana? I know what Ghana is. Also, it's national. That's Hug Day. Also, it's giving Tuesday. Also, it's not Tuesday.

It's giving Tuesday on Wednesday. Giving Tuesday on a Wednesday. This Wednesday is this fucking national day of giving. That happened in November. Yeah. Also, it's national green bean casserole day. That's Thanksgiving. This is not right.

This is not right. All right. This is not right. Well, we can make movies about those. What are we... Why are there no holidays about National Eat a Red Apple Day or National Fritter Day? We should make a movie that is a full Hallmark-style movie where it's about a town where the number one holiday is National Eat a Red Apple Day

and everyone there loves it. And there's like a woman who's looking, who like has a kind of a guy that she doesn't like, but then there's a guy who moves back to the hometown. And he doesn't like eat a Red Apple Day. Like he's like always been like, he's turned into kind of an Apple Grinch just, by like, because he lived in the big city. He was a, he. He was, no, he was lived in the big city.

He worked as a doctor. Yes. Oh my God. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. So he came out of touch with apples. He comes back. He's reconnecting with his roots, the roots of the apple tree. Yes.

He falls in love with this girl whose name is Appalina. Yes. And it's, dude. Appalina Appalgate. Appalina Applegate is her name. And his name is Dr. Is Dr. Grannie Smith.

The apple. Dr. Dr. smith dr g smith wow wow wow and his i mean that's what i mean they're in a love triangle they're in a love triangle with a man named henry golden cool and he's delicious he's loki delicious yeah yeah wow um one holiday after another yes could do that as well that's kind of sometimes how i feel like my damn life is it just never ends dude fuck this world yep it's this holiday after holiday another fucking holiday oh great here comes christmas oh

Didn't we just celebrate National Fritter Day? Didn't we just fucking celebrate National Fritter Day? Come on now. It's already Eat a Red Apple Day. God. Oh, my fucking God. Damn it. Great.

I've got National Eat a Red Apple Day today. Then tomorrow's National Fritter Day. The day after that is Green Bean Casserol day. I feel like also like people start preparing for holidays like earlier and earlier. It pissing me up. I was in the grocery store in March and they had red apples out already in the produce section. I was like, are you fucking serious? Is what gets me?

Are you serious? It gets to me. Yeah. I'm like, the fritters are nowhere to be seen. I've been waiting only to have an

apple fritter. Apple fritters are good. But I never had one in my life. Well, we can go get you one right now. We probably can't. Where are we going to do that? No.

I don't either. Don't tell me. Don't assign it to me. Don't tell them we can't do shit. I can hear you all. I don't know where to get apple fritters. Okay, let's speak a language he doesn't understand.

Okay, so English. I don't know where to get apple fritters. So unless you, you do, don't tell we can get Apple Fritters. I know where to get them. You know where to get them? Yes, I know what to get them.

Okay, so you're going to go with Patrick to get Apple figures. No, I can't do it. I have to make them at home from a girlfriend. Okay. You make them at home? Can you make me one?

Maybe. Okay. Guys, this has been Patrick Doran signing off from the bathroom. Things will be... Great outro, man.

Things will be December. That's what you say every single night. I never say I'm signing off from the bathroom but things are going to be Decemberific for a little bit yeah yep this is the first of many episodes first of many December themed episodes look out for look out when you're crossing the street yep all right bye bye almost thought a couple times babe is a real life pig yeah yeah James Cromwell's in that yeah he's old man I definitely saw that when I was a kid I don't know men you all remember Templeton the rat he was fire no no

Charlotte's Webb, nah. Again, I definitely saw all this when I was really young, but don't remember it. Charlottes Webb. For Templeton? I mean, yeah, I don't remember him, but I'll, you know, I'll give it up for him. Dude, he's a virulent white supremacist. Well, why'd you dab me up? Because I'm a white supremacist.

Shouldn't say that, too. Why should I say that? Well, because maybe you don't know what it means or something. That's the clip this week. What does it mean? What does it mean for you to be one? Yeah. What does it mean for you to be one?

Well, I'm not one. If you were, what would you say? say? I'd say, man, I fucking hate all these other kinds of people and I only like the damn whites. But I don't say that. He's like that expression too. I only like whites.