Podcast About List - Ep. 374 - THE SHRIMP-OFF!

Episode Date: February 4, 2026

It's finally time for Patrick to put up or shut up about one of his many eating claims, and we're dragging Joe along for it for no good reason. This one gets a little disgusting so it's been censored for the masses, but if you wish to see it uncensored for FREE go to our Patreon and find out what Really happened.Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

You are about to witness two real eaters undergo a true test of human willpower in pursuit of greatness. Like all greatness, it comes at a price. Today's episode is not for the squeamish, the disgustible, or those who gag sympathetically. It may not be for anyone. If you wish to proceed, do so at your own risk. without further ado, the shrimp off. Podcast about List Army. Me and Joe are here at the office right now.

We are prepping for the shrimp off. We have 10 pounds of shrimp here. Oh, I'm sorry. What's that here? 11. They come in, it's 11 pounds. I couldn't control that. I'm here.

I'm ready. This is nothing to me. This looks like nothing to me. And look at this. I've got my LL Bean comfort waist pants on. And I wanted to show you guys something really amazing right now. Something, an amazing omen. An amazing omen for the shrimp for me and Joe.

The sky is the color of shrimp. If you can believe that, and look it, and Joe wants to say something too. The cold can't stop us. A couple kinds of shrimp can't stop us. The sky is pink for shrimp, and we're going to eat it all today. And that's just the way it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. To the first ever and last ever shrimp.

We have Joe Gleason and Patrick Doran today. I've both claimed their ability to consume five pounds of shrimp. Yes, and under an hour. And under an hour up to an hour and a half. You see, Patrick is actually just now loading a first pound of shrimp onto the plate. So the way we have this set up today, guys, is we've purchased five bags of frozen. pound bags of frozen shrimp. We've separated them out into one pound bags, weighed them and thawed them out. So each contestant is going to be eating five bags. Well, here's hoping. Yeah, we'll see.

Today we have, like we said, Joe Glees and Patrick Doran. Joe, if you want to, I'd like to give both of the contestants a short moment. Just say your name, where you're from, a little bit about yourself and what your mindset is going into this challenge. So go ahead, Joe. You can go first. Yeah, yeah. Pull the mic closer to you and just put the like paper. towels somewhere else I feel like. My name is Joe Gleason. I'm from New York City. I have taken a very calculated, analytical, and strategic approach to this challenge, to this off. I reached out and I got a personal message from Mickey Sudo, the number one female

eater in the world who has, who I have looked up to for a very long time as a kid who watched the hot dog eating contest every year. Wow. And she has imparted some of her wisdom on me. I'm trying to go about this the right way. I have, I did a three pound trial two days ago. I did a one pound trial a few days before that. I'm feeling ready. It's going to be a big challenge, but I'm ready. It's me against me. Yes. Do you want to share the words for Mickey Sudo? Do you want to play that or no? It's quite long. It's about, it's about 60. You want to give us a quick little footnotes on, I mean, I would like to keep most of it private, but I will say that the major thing is mind over matter.

She gave them lots of good advice. I watched part of it. Shout out to Mickey. So I'm doing this for Mickey. For Mickey. I'm going to get to the finish line. Are either of you competing for maybe a foundation or a cause? No.

Okay. That's a no. I would say that while if I get the money, it is, it will go to me. Yeah. At least. It's $150 on the line. I'd like to, maybe we haven't introduced that. Yeah, we can flash.

If either of them finish, under an hour, the first one to finish, gets $150. That's cold, hard cash. I'm going to put that on the table. I would like to dedicate my performance to the... Well, I can dedicate it to multiple people. That if you put your mind... There's already a bit of contention.

Yeah. If you put your mind to something, and if you prepare the right way, one's foot in front of the other, you can do anything that you want to do. So this is, it's to anyone out there who thinks that they can. Can't do it.

Anybody with a dream. You can do it if you try really hard. If you're coming to the mic, Pat. If you do this in under an hour, talking to the mic. I would like to start organizing shrimp offs at middle schools and high schools to,

I think that's a beautiful idea. Yeah, I think that's a really good idea. The Shrimp for Kids Foundation. Shrimp for Kids. Yeah, it'd be an amazing foundation. That's what I'm glad you're playing for shrimp for kids today. I guess I'm playing for Shrimp for Kids. The organization I hope to invent

when Joe, who's been taking this. I'm here to have fun. Yeah, you want to introduce yourself? Yeah, give a little of your background. And also, he gave a little bit of his, his mindset going into this. His philosophy. Show us yours. My philosophy is, I love shrimp. It's my favorite.

And I'm mostly just happy that I get to eat as much of it as I want today. Hopefully I eat five pounds. We'll see. That'd be really cool if I do. I'm really excited to see what Joe can do today. I know. I think here and I mean just to... Oh, and I want to dedicate this to anyone who's going through,

anyone who has lost a parent to suicide. Thank you. That's nice. You're eating for any kind. For the strips for kids. Yeah. Let's move this along, right? Is there a foundation?

There's certainly a lot of them. There's plenty. Are you saying they wouldn't have? accept it because it's what, it's a pittance? I will, no, I, I, it's nothing to you. You pocket the cash and then deposit your money from your bank account. All he heard is pocket the cash. I'll give my $150 to shrimp for kids as the seed money to start shrimp for kids.

See, I don't even want to start shrimp for kids now. I actually wanted, like, donate it to an actual good cause if this happens. Okay, so the competition is heating up. I know. I think that was a magical warfare for Patrick. I'm going to say, guys, we're going to start to. about 30 seconds. So are you guys,

are you guys ready? Whatever sort of pre-eating ritual you need to go through. You should explain the bags. We did explain the bags. Yeah.

How would you pay attention, man? Yeah. It's five pounds of shrimp per person. One hour. I'm going to press the timer in just a second here. We're going to get started. They have, we're going to go for an hour and a half

potentially, but they have one hour to eat the shrimp. And Julio, I'm going to tell you to keep the camera on them for the start here. We'll be starting the timer on our desk, but I envision a firecracker start. And I want to catch every second of it. Okay, guys.

Are you ready? Are you ready, Joe? I'm ready. I've been ready. Ready. Okay. Count it down. In five, four, three, many men.

Two, one, start. Oh, my God. Here we go. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, no, Joe is doing the competitive eating thing. Meanwhile, Patrick's over here just really enjoying him. off. It's very... Yeah.

I, I, I, so the world record for shrimp eating currently stands. Uh, it's held by Joey Chestnut. And if you can believe it, he downed 21 pounds of shrimp in eight minutes.

So I'm curious to see how these competitors stack up to the number one competitive shrimp eater in the world. Okay. So that makes me think five pounds in an hour really is not that cool. Well, I will say, I think I don't have the list in front of me, but most of the other record holders are far behind that. I think Joey Chestnut is kind of an inhuman standout. Joe's shoveling in with his hands and that Patrick putting lemon on his shirt on my face.

I wish I had an overhead camera so I could see the percentage of the first pound. Oh, he lost a shrimp on the ground. Do you have the spares over there, Joe? Yeah, speaking of, do I have to eat this one? You can switch. We have a bag of spares. You can switch. If one's weird, you can switch it out with the spares. You do have to eat it. There's no leniency on that. Joe is jogging in place, kind of stirring up the stomach bubbles. Let's try less talking and more eating.

Yeah, I bet you eat, man. The shrimp was purchased from the grocery store just down the street. It ran us about, I think, $110. $110, $120 of shrimp. Was this farm shrimp? Again, you know, this is more of a... Usually the players in a sport aren't having the back and forth with the commentations. Yeah, so maybe you're falling pretty far behind.

I mean, Joe's almost one pound in already. I'm beginning to wonder how quickly the sweet taste of shrimp for Patrick will give way to the bitter flavor of defeat. You know, that's a great question. It seems to be. Because I think at this point at this juncture, I'm seeing, and we saw this, by the way, in the lead-up, just a huge difference in approach between these two competitors. Joe is seeing these as protein. As you can see, he's slinging shrimp juice all over the office.

I'm not like care in the world. Oh, but he might have a try not to laugh sort of challenge. One pound down. Oh, and he flies shrimp juice everywhere. In two minutes and 15 seconds, Joe has completed one pound of shrimp. And Patrick is a few shrimp off, it seems like. He's shrimp off. He's close behind.

It is a shrimp off. The first and last annual, a non-annual shrimp off. Okay. So what I was saying is that Joe is seeing these as purely units of protein that he has to eat as quickly as possible. Patrick still views these as shrimp. Patrick is taking a big, a big sip of water. He's really

enjoying himself. I don't like my cocktail sauce. Here, Pat, you should honestly just take the mic in front of yourself because Joe's not going to talk. You should pull it up close to you so we can hear you. How does this sound? This sounds okay. We'll replace the one street. Yeah, you can talk. Okay. So we've already

got a terrifying. There's a gag. He's about halfway through. Sound effect. from Joe Gleason. He is shoveling them in. What is the nice thing about this, Cameron? If Joe finishes this nice and early, then we basically just get to have,

he gets to join the analyst desk. Yeah, we just get to hang out. I'm really worried. I said this before. My main worry here is that we're going to see Joe pack in two to two and a half pounds of shrimp in the first 10 minutes, hit a wall,

and either throw up or become so miserable that he cannot continue. And we are going to have to sit. at this desk. So he is completely, he's taking a knife to the shrimp and bawling them into a big nasty ball. I guess, and he's

pre-chew. He's calling it pre-chew. Okay, so that's pre-chew. These are real, these are what? I would have loved if we got the shrimp from maybe a whole foods or Oh, well, yeah. Or something.

Okay. All right, well, you spend a hundred and... I mean, you kind of were sitting at home, not doing anything while we were out there, fetching the shrimp, getting it all prepared. How did you train? I drank a bunch of beer. Okay. Now, speaking of training, I actually ate two shrimp yesterday.

Really? Yes. And that's what I was going to say is that most of the time, anytime I have shrimp, you'll get a salad. Shut up! You'll get a salad with shrimp on it. Yeah. And there will be five pieces of shrimp.

Yeah. Six pieces of shrimp. I had two pieces of shrimp because they came in a shrimp noodle. one of those noodle things. I don't know what they're called besides, but it's a dim sum. Oh, yes. You know, and they have the full shrimp inside.

Yeah, like a shumai. No, that's like a dumpling. Yeah, yeah. The noodles are, I don't really know what they're called. They're noodles of some sort, but I had two shrimps and I thought, hmm, probably could not eat 250 of these. It's a kind of, you don't like that cocktail sauce, too. It's a kind of food that is, I think, you use.

Oh, my gosh. Are we seeing a third pound of shrimp dumped onto the, he's setting up his third. He's setting up his third. and we are five minutes into the challenge. That is honestly fucking terrifying. I'm starting to feel sick. This smell is starting to come over my way.

And here Patrick is, Patrick is, what pound are you on here? I'm still on my second. Okay, I mean, that's still impressive. I mean, that's pretty, a pound of shrimp in less than five minutes is, is something else.

Now, shrimp were actually a staple in ancient Roman Greek and Chinese diets. Really? Yes, yes. They have a multitude of nutritional benefits. Is shrimp like a, you know what people say lobster used to be fucking shit? It used to be prison food. Nobody liked lobster. Yeah, yeah.

Was shrimp in that category as well? Well, it's a good question. What I'd have to answer you with is saying that it made its way to the United States in the 17th century, which is the 1600s for those keeping track at home. It's always hard to do that where you got to go, okay, I'm minusing one number. And it turns out that shrimp became very popular due to technological development. Really? How do you catch shrimp? Do you know?

Shripping? Yeah. Three pounds? How are you feeling? Two pounds down. Two pounds down? I thought you already done with two pounds. Two pounds down at six minutes and 21 seconds.

Okay. This is a pretty fast speed. And you know, I wish that these weren't kept in, I wish they were kept on ice instead of in the bags because I think that that would have been. You're welcome to do that. You're having a lot of ideas. Yeah. after we've already begun the thing. I really love, I just,

this is honestly, I'm in heaven right now. I mean, you're welcome to take your bags and dump them out in the ice. And I don't know if one could ever understand what Joe is going through right now.

Oh my God. He's yakking. Joe, I want you to keep an eye on the timer because you don't have to go as fast as you're going. I think you have an hour. You have one hour.

You have 50 minutes left. You're seven minutes in. Joe is, Yes, it is a disqualification. That was in the rules. Yeah. So if Joe pukes in the first 10 minutes, Patrick is allowed to just sit here and leisurely eat as much shrimp and tequila as he wants for an hour and he will win. And that will be a win in the books. I think we could see an unprecedented dark horse Patrick win. It's really the tortoise and the hair. It's literally the tortoise and the hair. So we're seeing Joe jump up. around like a crazy person here.

I'm seeing that. And he does have his AirPods in. And he is, I believe, playing a playlist that he crafted specifically. And he sent you a playlist. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Let me hear it right now. Hold on. What? That's Fort Minor. Remember the name. You can hear it. You can hear it through the headphones.

Joe seems like he's having serious issues right now. Do we have a place for him to puke? Yeah, do we have a place to puke? Is there a puke bucket over there? over here. I'm good. Okay. Okay. All right. He's good. He claimed he's good. You're not using the bag if you puke. Uh, this is... You're going in the bathroom. You're just... I like this. Waste of time. Waste this time.

No, you're going to vomit in the toilet. So I'm really... I have a... Joe's playlist pulled up here on my laptop that we can go through and commentate on it. This is what he's listening to right now. It starts off strong with Remember the Name by Fort Minor, which is a... I think that's an S-tier motivational song. Yeah, I'm just kind of scrolling through here a little bit. What is the spark? I don't know what the spark is. He has the theme from Rocky.

The one that's really throwing me off here is he does have it. Track number four is Kung Fu fighting. I just got hit with a big shrimp wave. That's why you have a Fabriz right there if you care to use it to create kind of a barrier between us. Sorry, guys, Joe's using his secret weapon. I'm about the load up mine. What's your secret weapon? Julio, did you figure out the picture and picture?

Are you switching back and forth? or have you got them both up? Just switch it back and forth. Okay, great. Kung Fu Fighting is track number four. Which to me is not much of a hype-up song. No, I would say Kung Fu Fighting is a funny song. I would say that's a funny song.

Yeah, that's great for... I mean, it's great for a roller skating. Or a laughable hangout with friends. Yeah, when you're hanging out, you're watching YouTube videos say, Let me show you the most amazing song. I would be worried if I was doing a competitive eating challenge and I was listening to Kung Fu Fighting, I'd be worried I'd start throwing karate chops

and give myself a giggle. As soon as that opening thing is. This is about demakes, video game demakes. And we have Patrick pulling out a secret weapon here, which is YouTube videos. No, these are these are longs. These are YouTube longs. What's a demake, Patrick,

if you wouldn't mind explaining what that is? That's when they make, or they take a new game and they kind of demaster it into an old style. so they make Bloodbourne look like it came out on the PS1 or something like that. Oh, wow, gotcha. Yeah, it's very aesthetic and retro, and it's in a lot of ways. Well, another song coming in on Joe's playlist is Seven Nation Army. Oh, that's good.

That's a good one. I like that one. I'm also saying, run this town. Run this sounds great. If I can't buy 50 cents. Thunderstruck ACDC. Stir fry by Migos. Let's get it started.

Specifically, let's get it started and not the older, the older version. Can't hold it. us by McElmore. Well, if you know Joe Gleason, well, you know that he's a massive Maclemore fan and he says, oh, he's the only person I've ever heard said, okay, he almost puked. He's the only person I've ever heard say that McElmore deserved the Grammy over, over Kendra.

I've heard that him say that as well. And I remember him specifically saying in college, it was bullshit that people got mad. Here's a great run of songs to close out this playlist. I've been skipping around, but these last four songs are perfect. Crank that, Soldier Boy. Temperature, Sean Paul. not afraid Eminem and

ooh ah my life be like by Brits and Toby Mac I think that that is an incredible ender yeah to finish it out because I think by the time your life is gonna be like your life is like

at the end of shrimp off your life is fucking like absolutely seems like maybe I got a little febreeze in my beer yeah I wish that I had a neural link chip that I could connect to Joe's head

and kind of just kill them instantly just kill them that'd be amazing just one thought Just kill him, and he's dead. There are actually five species of Gulf shrimp. Well, go ahead and tell me more. Brown, white, pink, royal red, and rock.

I think I got a nasty... That's the rocky theme I'm hearing from Joe. And a shrimp's life cycle is approximately one year. I got a skunk to June shine, man. My life sucks. That seems to be an issue with Junshine. I know. Every time I have a June shine now, if I get four of them,

one of them, it tastes like... It smells like fucking poop. Oh, wait, hold on. Pat, you want a poop flavor? How many, what pound are you coming in at right now, Patrick? I'm coming up on three. You're coming up on three. Let me see how Joe's doing.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, so Joe's, I think, almost done with three. Joe is completing three. Joe has about three or four shrimp left. Pat is only one pound behind Joe, despite his lackadaisical sort of approach. I mean, I do think that there is a, that's the spare bag. Okay. You can't get out of that.

I ate all the shrimp I deemed nasty. Okay. Nice, good, good. I'm proud of you for that. Actually, by... Laxadaisical media, it's lost media. By federal regulation, shrimp trawl nets must be equipped with a turtle excluder device. That's to keep the turtle out.

It excludes the turtles. See, that would be a huge curveball in this competition. If a turtle can't... Well, if one of the bags just... Big turtle in it. A sea turtle. Or at least parts of a sea turtle. It would be...

That would mess with Joe's flow. It would mess with the weight as well. It would mess with the weight major. Shrimp can also be enjoyed baked, broiled, deep fried, grilled, poached, smoked, steam, pickled, panseared, and even as pattee. Tell me what your favorite shrimp version is. It's got to be, and Joe has completed pound three at 13 minutes.

So he has two pounds to go and plenty of time to do it. That is, oh, he's dropping. Oh, he's putting his shrimp back in the back. A complete catastrophe. A complete contaminate what is happening. He doesn't know what's going on. Oh, he's switching plates. Oh, okay.

He's very particular. Yeah, that's true. This bag smells bad. Okay. You got to eat it anyway, man. I know. What does it smell like? It smells like,

like I think we left these out too long. Dude, they were not left out. They were, I think, I don't know. They were thawed. I don't believe they were left out.

And also they were all left out for the exact same amount of time. You said that now. You're back on your video. No, but they were like left out like in the cooler, but like not on ice. Dude, it's two degrees outside.

I mean, I'm not going to, you know. You're going to eat it. You're going to eat it. Yeah. Yeah. Just a, uh, I wish, does it complain. Joe has poured a little bit of Arizona into his cup. I'm very curious about this.

I wonder if this is an energy, an energy tactic. Oh, the tea, the caffeine from the tea. Yeah, sugar and he's throwing paper towels around like a monster and sauce pour. Like a crazy. Oh, oh, he's screaming. He's screaming the shrimp out. The souls of the shrimp are being screamed out. Yeah, do you ever think about that with some shit like this where it's like, you were eating so many fucking beings that God created?

This happened to me. When I was a little kid, my grandfather took me to a Brazilian steakhouse. And I just kept eating the chicken hearts. Just chicken heart after chicken heart after chicken heart. And it only had you fit that many in one day. It was quite a lot. It was a big amount. And my parents said to me, you know, each of those is one.

chicken. Yeah. And I went, oh, yeah, wow. Yeah, yeah. But that's a, that's a low-quality meat that we leave for the Brazilian steakhouses. Yes. And they're steakhouses. Yes. They're Brazilian steakhouses. Yeah. I had some steak today. Pearl presents Griffin gas. I've been meaning to watch this one. Earl presents. Pearl. Earl? Pearl. Pearl? Pearl. Man, sometimes it's hard to Joe is leaving the contest area to throw away his shrimp secretly. Is that what is he doing? Wait. What the fuck? No. Is that an air fryer? Wait. Is that a microwave?

Wait a fucking second. Is that a toaster of it? Joe, Joe, this table can't handle that. He's locked in. He's locked in, man. There's no, there's no changing his mind here. Joe has brought a convection oven. I don't think he has an extension cord over there.

There should be a cable. Joe, you should be able to plug it in right over here. I don't know what he's, yeah. You should be able to plug it in over there. So, Joe, let me. Okay, so he's wasting time here. Monster looks. He looks like a feral animal.

Oh, my God. He's got the basket. He's bringing the basket over to the table. This is crazy. He has parchment paper. He mentioned having a secret weapon, but I had no inkling. And he has a bag that says Joe. Okay, so no oil.

Wait, is he seasoning? And he's old, he's putting my old bay that I brought in. He's getting completely, he's ignoring Patrick as much as completely. as Patrick pleads for him to let him put his shrimp on there. What is in that one? Is that green tea salt? Oh my God. What the fuck are we watching?

This is unbelievable. No, this is unreal. Okay, he set it to 400 for 10 minutes. That's pretty hot and pretty long. Yep, there's no shrimp in there either. He cooked shrimp. Yeah, and Joe was the one who came and picked that selected the shrimp at the grocery store. Yes.

So I will say, Joe's selects. He doesn't like shrimp. He doesn't like shrimp, which is the most impressive part of this challenge. He doesn't like shrimp. And he picked the, I'm going to tell you right now, he picked the wrong ones. Here's what I'm wondering. Cam, if you'll indulge me for a moment. Joe has put his last pound in the air fryer.

Has he? Is there, is there shrimp? I didn't see him put any shrimp in there. He put a basket full of shrimp in the air friar. His final pound. So I see. So he's expecting to finish this and then. And then eat.

enjoy. But think about this. The way that he's been doing, okay, he went over to kicked his air fryer for some reason. The way that he, his approach has been, uh,

purely speed. He's been shuffling in cold shrimp. He's a scary looking guy. He looks really scary right now. I, oh my God. Oh my God. He has a cocktail sauce on his chin.

He's loving it. How are you feeling? He's not, he told us he wasn't going to talk to us during this. Which I respect. I do respect it as well. Are you farting? He's listening for the music.

You can listen. I'm trying to hear what he's listening. We have an audio drama to conduct. Yes, we do. So what I'm thinking is that Joe is going to finish this pound of cold shrimp. Uh-huh. And then move to the hot shrimp. And it's 400 degrees for 10 minutes or until he finishes this pound, presumably.

I think that's going to be too hot to eat very fast. Yeah. But the thing I'm thinking about here is we are only at 18 minutes. We've not even hit 20 minutes yet. And you can go at whatever pace you want for the first hour. You only are disqualified for stopping after the first hour in the final 30 minutes. So we could see a situation where he finishes the fourth pound and sits there and lets it settle and then eats it piece by piece. He's checking in on his shrimp.

Let's see. They're hot, but they're not smoking. Oh, a piece of the parchment paper just caught fire. Okay, there's fire in there maybe. is there is there are they on do we have a fire going on in there you should take the paper out yeah there's maybe you shouldn't put uh that's definitely not oven safe paper there we go the basket exists for a reason

okay so can you show the camera show the camera your burnt yeah so so he just put paper in the air fire put some printer paper in there too I'm glad he caught it when he did yeah oh oh and it just reset the the thing. Oh, it reset another 10 minutes. 10 more minutes. Go did not pick good shrimp.

You smell the shrimp? Noah? It smells bad. You never want to pick shrimp from Thailand. Thailand is not a good place to get shrimp from. Interesting. I think it's because of the farms there. I think you want like shrimp from like the Gulf of Mexico or something.

I don't remember my girlfriend told me. It's one of those things I've been looking out for. Well, Biloxi was once known as the seafood capital of the world. Biloxi is actually a great place to get shrimp. That's on planet Mars. Judging by the name. No, Biloxi is in Mississippi. Biloxi, Mississippi.

Biloxi, Mississippi. It's known for 26 miles of white sand beaches, vibrant casino gaming, and rich seafood heritage. Now Joe's checking on his shrimp again, shaking it around a little. Patrick looks like he is having a hard time. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, a little update, Pat.

I mean, I got time. Are you on pound three right now? Yeah, I'm half or a quarter of the way through pound three. Okay. So Joe's groaning. Yeah. Yeah, I think that'd be smart. And I just said a shot with Noah.

Okay. I've had two shots and close to three pounds of shrimp. Well, not close. Not quite close to three. Not quite close to three pounds. But I would say that you're on great pace. Would you say that this is the most shrimp you've eaten in a sitting? Will you tell us?

I just wish it was prepared. So far, so, but, okay, it's not really what I asked at all. And then can we also, can we just say we gave you the option to prepare it? Yeah, it was fully on you guys to do the prep, to choose your preparation. Keep saying, we prepare. Yeah. No, it was not. It was not.

It was you guys. In fact, Joe's preparing it before your very eyes. Yeah. However you want. I might ask him if I can use the air fryer. He's not going to let you. He's not going to hear you. He's not going to let you.

He didn't even let you share his sauces. He hates you right now. He doesn't hate me. He hates you. No. He wants you to fucking die. He is shaking his shrimp around. And let's see.

This is pound four that he's on, right? I mean, he's a seven nation army. He's not so far through pound four, I have to say. Really? Yeah, maybe getting close to halfway.

I think the circuit just blew over there. Yeah, it looks like the circuit is blown. I'm smelling a burning smell as well. The circuit is blown. Should maybe check that extension. cord really quickly. Go look at that. And maybe check the circuit breaker.

Anything smoking? Let's see. Joe's staying locked in. AirPods still in as the fire starts. Dripping, dripping everywhere. I'll go to, you keep hold it down for a second. I'll go check on a fire hazard.

So here's the interesting thing about shrimp. I can kind of vamp with you for a little bit. Okay. As somebody who loves shrimp. Basically when you cook them, the shrimp, the shrimp will make a seed. right? You see this?

Yes. Yeah, they curl up. That means it's cooked. That means it's cooked when it curls up like that. But then if you've overcooked it, it'll make an oh. Oh. That is an interesting fact. Thank you for sharing that with me.

See, I'm a huge. I love, I just love shrimp. You're kind of a shrimp nerd. I'm a bit of a shrimp nerd. Well, ladies and gentlemen. I kind of wanted to see. So I'm going to reveal it now, just because I'm, I'm kind of stalling.

The reason I wanted bigger shrimps is because I wanted to see if I could get you guys to maybe get the wagg you of shrimp, maybe a tiger shrimp. So you thought that we were going to spend. I thought maybe I could finesse you guys into buying a bunch of tiger shrimp.

But that did not happen. So this has been a common problem that I think you've had for years now. No, no, no, no, no. Which is that you don't understand that when we use the company card. Yes, this is something that this is a constant. It's not free money.

It's, you are spending money on that. You basically, yeah. That is, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, but it would come out of, it would come out of, it would come out of, it would come out of, it doesn't affect that. No, it's only us three that that would, that would. You, you, you, you, you just harm Caleb and I. Yeah.

Yeah. You take money. You reach into our pockets and then you still money, which you're not doing right today, uh, for, for, for, for your cause because Joe is definitely winning this. Yeah, I mean, I will say I still could see, I could see a situation where Joe, uh, Joe, look at the clock. Joe pukes.

Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't listen to Michael. Joe, he's psyching. He's trying to psych you out. You know, I tried. Joe, dance. I tried. I tried. And do you have to do a little strong flex. I do think he's going to. I would like to hear the strategy behind the Arizona shop. Wow. Those are shrimp arms right there.

Hang. Yeah. Look, not usually. compliment. In this case, we're going to take it as fun. Yeah. Because shrimps are, if I, I mean, you can look this up, but I believe shrimp are one of the most protein rich. They are there.

They're considered. You can eat. Yes. They have a low, they have a low calorie content compared to their protein. Yeah. Yeah. I believe they beat the egg metric by quite a lot. Yeah.

Do they call it a pure protein? Is that what they call it? Yeah, it's like chicken breast. Yeah. But it is, see, I would say that it's more desirable than chicken breast because, but I don't know what is in it that makes it so juicy. Maybe water. Could be water. Water. Water.

From water. Yeah. Did you just, did he just have a Ralph? No, he didn't. Oh, okay. I just heard. Also, look up, look up mantis shrimp punch. That's a cool video. I know how the mantis shrimp punch. It's hell of fucking hard. Shrimps actually contain a cancer-fighting mineral known as selenium and it's an antioxidant. I just want to show you

something real quick for my... I take selenium every day. Well, you could eat a few shrimps. My preparation. I had a... Oh, yeah. Pat has... What are you listening to my pants? What are you listening to?

Sing it. Sing it out. All I do is win. All I do is win. Yeah, yeah. Okay, he's listening to DJ Call. I'm going to let you know right now. I'm not walking away from the competition.

I'm just walking into the bathroom to fart. Pat, you're in a competition, man. farting is fucking on a shrimp. You're wasting. The game faces is fucking terrifying. You're wasting ammo, I have to say. And he didn't stay long. That's, that's following you out.

Yeah. You got, you're having it both ways right now. That, you were not in there long enough to let that fart get out of your pants. Oh my God. First fall. The iodine is just getting to him. Pets are starting to get crazy expensive. One unexpected trip to the vet can cost $1,500 or more.

Even for simple or, but common things like minor wounds, UTIs, and even ear infections. I got a pet insurance for my dog for like two months. And then I was like, wait, he's a dog. Who gives a fuck? He's not a human being. Jeremiah Wright holds seven years of professional experience in the content world focusing on nature and wildlife. Aside from writing, he enjoys surfing the internet and listening to the music. I know this guy.

You know this guy? No, but did you believe it for a second? Yeah, I knew it. Ten interesting facts about shrimp from AZ animals. Are we seeing some kind of deal going on it? What are you saying to him? We're bringing a fork and a knife over to one of our contestants, I believe. Okay, gotcha.

So now that your headphones out, you have about a pound of cocktail sauce on the left side of your face, just kind of stuck there and it looks like a giant mole. Your tongue can't reach. No, the left side. The left side, not, yeah. Okay, now it looks. Joe, while you're talking to it's just for a second, how are you feeling? Terrible.

Joe says terrible. Do you have any regrets about being almost done 30 minutes in? No, everything, I have visualized this exact thing. I've hit every single thing that I visualized on my way. And I could not be happy about the process. I hit the air fryer earlier than I thought I was going to. Wow. I knew that four to five was going to be the toughest two.

Yes, definitely. You definitely slowed down on four. But you have the time to do it. Even talking right now is a bad idea. I can tell you. You can get back to it. We won't hold you up. What I'll say is I hit the cocktail sauce.

at the very end of the third pound, which is even later than I was anticipating. I think flavor fatigue was one of my main opponents here, and I'm hopefully, I've towed the line perfectly. And you still have a bunch of sauces you could work with. Oh, yeah, all different types of sauce. Well, thank you for that input, Joe. Go back to your eating,

and for hundreds of your shrimp have been a perfect addition to any meal, including salad sandwiches and more. For 100 years, shrimp for hundreds of years. I would eat a salad sandwich. That's what you were talking about. That's a crazy person laugh. That was scary. I felt mocked.

Guys, we may have lost Joe. I think we lost. That was honestly terrifying. That was really fucking scary. Scary, man. What a weird guy. What are we doing, man?

I can't believe this. We are coming up on being halfway through the initial hour. Pat, you're about to round out. Halfway through three. Halfway through three. So you're halfway through your shrimp. And do you feel full? I think maybe the tequila was a bad move.

Joe was jiggling his belly. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah, I saw that. Joe is making Frankenstein noise. Yes, he is. Joe may be entering it. I think this might divide his life completely in half.

This game that we're playing. I think he may view his entire. life from now. We are getting into the phase of this challenge that I've been having stress dreams about. Which is? Which is something very bad is going to happen to some, to Joe. Yes. Joe has been always the object of, of my motherly worries. Yes. Leading up to this. I feel bad for, you know, encouraging this so much. Patrick has the good sense to stop when he's ready. Joe has never had that sense. Joe will not stop. Joe will not stop until he pukes. And it looks or that might be a heart attack.

That might be what they call the widow maker. A dad had one of those. Really? He survived. Oh, okay. So there's still hope for Joe yet. They call that a wife maker. Oh.

I thought you had a bottle of Burnett. Burnett could help me right now. What's that, man? Burnett is a digestief. What is it, though? I don't even know what that is. Oh, okay, good. What's the ABV on?

Okay, Joe has now gone blindfold. Yeah, wow. Instead of, because he had a bandana. And this is something that he talked about earlier, which is that there was a clear sort of rocky dynamic between these two, which is that Joe has trained himself. He did. A pound of shrimp.

Two pounds of shrimp. He got the fucking cameo. Yes. He brings five different sauces. We're seeing. Pat is dressed up as Rocky. Yes. I got a cameo from a guy that I've got a cameo from before on the show.

Abdullah Amdas. I think that's his name. Wow. Wait, are we seeing a Kalshi bet? We're seeing the odds of the spread. Wow. You can see it. It's 99% Joe and less than 1% Patrick. Okay, Joe has noticed. These are live odds, courtesy of Kalshi. February 1st at 4 p.m. Wow. Sorry, I got to get the spares. That had dirt on it. It had dirt. Okay. We're, you can switch. You can go one. You can go one. You can go one.

for one. Every shrimp you want to switch out, replace it with one from this year. That was like, that was the nastiest shrimp I've ever put in my mouth. Okay. And I put a lot of shrimp in my mouth. So there's another first today. Yeah, the nastiest shrimp record. Four pounds down. Four pounds down. Four pounds down. Over 30 minutes. Just

barely. Joe has 30 minutes to go. Okay. Whatever pace he wants. And now he has this. This is because I could see this happening and I did not see this happening. Yeah. I assumed that he was going to lose his nerve during four. And I still think it's very probable during five. I want to see. I'm still going to eat the shrimp.

I'm just going to try it, but I'm not going to try it as fast as them. Okay. It's kind of already what you were doing. Yeah, I would say, as somebody declare that. Let me just say this. I'm not going to change anything I'm doing. Yeah. I would honestly, Pat, I'm going to be pretty impressed if you finish that third pound.

Yeah. You're giving a, your, uh, that will be. That's the reason I did all this. I will be impressed. I will be. I just wanted to impress Caleb the whole time. You didn't want the money? I will be impressed.

Not the money at all. That's dirty money. Why is it dirty money? Because it was offered to you? It's just a fucking shitty hands. Whoa. Where did that come from? I'm not sir wipes a lot.

Coming to the mic if you're going to talk. I know you don't wipe a lot because you left doo-do stains on the toilet and I had to clean it. You think that wiping cleans the stains off the toilet. You think that that's wiping the toilet. No, no, no. It's all liquid. Joe's not even liquid. It's pudding.

Okay. If you're going to do this, maybe take out one of Joe's AirPod so he can hear it. Maybe be grossed out. No. Oh, he's doing soldier boy. This is soldier. Oh, shit. This is unbelievable showing from Joe.

I can't believe what I'm seeing to be honest. I know. And look at this movement. If I had four pounds of shrimp in my body, there's no way I'm doing the soldier boy. He's going fast too. He's enjoying this last pound. Patrick is switching out his shrimp very slowly like an old lady returning a library. He's drawing him off.

And this is something I was thinking. thinking about pure volume wise. Some of the water is getting cooked out of that shrimp when he puts it in the microwave. So it's actually a wise choice. It is also something I think that this is going to be slightly less than five pounds of shrimp because the shrimp that we weighed was crushed in ice parts of it.

Yeah. So there is some variance on the ways. But we aired on the side of like slightly over a pound. You were going to be generous here because I think if I was a little more of a, if the rules were a little more stringent here, having him cook all that water out of the shrimp might have been a de-ke.

you. But the fact that he's also drinking seemingly a gallon of Arizona. Almost just pukes just then. You know, it's funny because I feel like... And then he did a nod and looked really serious. And I don't know if people... Did we talk about this on the committee or the planning committee? I know that's him saying to himself,

no, you're good. Yes, he is. Oh, man, we could see a puke. I think we could see a puke here. Don't, don't try and control him. You got this. And he goes blindfolded. He's shutting out the world. The blind Shrimpsman we're seeing here. A samurai striking shrimp by shrimp.

Look at this amazing. I mean, I still can't. I'm already, the thing is, even if he pukes right now, I am so impressed. I'm so impressed. But I think that if he pukes, I think, you better hope that whoever put their bet on Patrick with that spread is put some good money down on that. Yeah, you'd hope it's not a, well, oh, let me put a dollar. Yeah. Even that, I mean, I don't know, who knows what.

But, uh, yeah, you know. Does he fukes, he's out? Yeah. So this is a waiting game, Pat. It is a wait. It is kind of a waiting game. You need to make it through 25 minutes. The coward's, uh, the coward strategy.

Someone would call it. Again, man, tortoise in the hair. I think it's, uh, wait, okay, so now Joe is going shrimp onto the table. He has a cutting board, I believe that he's putting it on to. What? He made the main character. I made the main character in the new fallout show.

They made his last name, Howard, right? Okay. I didn't even realize that's like Todd Howard. From Bethesda. Yeah. Okay. So this is the kind of thoughts that run through your mind after three pounds of shrimp.

Yeah. We should, I think. I'm not at three yet, but I'm on my chair. Joe is putting, what is Joe doing? Joe is plugging up his nostrils with toilet paper. Okay. This has to be some. This is a flavor fatigue.

Yes. This is a flavor fatigue strategy. and also he looks like a wall rest. Let me just admit that. Flap of fatigue is real as fuck. Really? Oh, yeah. Which is something that you were saying

is not real right before this. I thought it would, okay. I'll admit, I thought it wasn't real. I thought that, I thought I'm the biggest shrimp lover in the world. But I'm a man who would admit his mistakes. Guys, it's really hard to do this.

It's hard? It's really hard. You're having a hard time. You're not acting like, you're having a hard time. Pat, I would never try. You would never try.

Not even, not even there's money on the line. I would, I would never try. No, no way. I think, I think

personally, and all the money goes to charity. Personally, I think you have to be a moron to do this. Yeah, I would not,

I would not compete in literally any eating challenge, period. I could do. You don't even compete in eating, you fucking anorexic bitch. Whoa,

what fuck is that, man? This little, sexual ass. You're not supposed to, you're not supposed to send jazz. He's wearing girls jeans. These are manly jeans.

These are menly jeans. You're wearing fucking the joggers, man. Patrick is lashing out because he... You wear pregnancy pants, you fucking fat fuck. Keep eating your fucking shrimp and shut up. Patrick cannot even eat his favorite food for more than 30 minutes. It is something that we are seeing here.

It is. It truly is... I mean, I didn't want to say this. But I will because I'm under attack. This is a pathetic showing from Patrick. This heel turn from him is so unexpected. But I would just like to say, Joe is making you look like a bitch. You are.

Three pounds of shrimp two weeks ago. Two weeks ago, Cameron said that he's been drinking symbols of coffee. He has a little bit of coffee because he's sensitive to caffeine. What's the wrong with that? Nothing. Today I had no coffee and then I had a Diet Coke and it sent me to the different atmosphere. Yeah. I had one cup of coffee today.

A full? I drink full cups of coffee, in fact. Joe is doing the Great Cornholio on opposite day. You drink full cups of coffee on opposite day. Sometimes I'll have a half cup of coffee. You know, somebody, my sister-in-law said something pretty funny the other day. When Catherine O'Hara died, I found out that she had her... This is in her honor, by the way.

This is in her honor. We're doing this for her. I found out that she had the thing where her heart was on the wrong side of her body. Oh, really? Organs were flipped. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My sister-in-law said she must have been conceived on opposite day. I wish she died on opposite day.

And it really made me laugh. She was still here with us. She's great. She was a funny, man. She was a funny lady. She was funny and a lot of great movies. Yeah, a lot of great movies, men. But I don't think she could eat five pounds of shrimp in under an hour.

No, so we're not so interested in her. Especially not now. Okay, man. I'm the heel. I know you're really leaning into it in a way that is not right. Especially you start this thing like, oh, I'm going to raise money for the people in Minnesota. Oh, we've seen another person. potential puke from Joe.

He really is closing in. I mean, the thing is, you know, when you see five pounds of shrimp, it's a lot of fucking shrimp. It is. And when you get to the point where you are at four and a half or four and whatever, it's hard to, you kind of forget that that remaining half pound or three quarters of pound or whatever it is is still too much fucking shrimp. Yeah, it's still more shrimp.

I'm not a shrimp on the table. I'm thinking, oh my God, I can't believe that's all that's left. But it is still more shrimp. Massive amount of shrimp. It's still more shrimp than you should eat. Yes. That would be a daunting plate if I was served that. Right.

And especially as someone like Joe who has said, he is not a fan of shrimp. He doesn't like shrimp. You got to really wonder why he agreed to do this in the first place. But what I like about him is that he will never say no to a challenge. Yeah. He has, he has stick-toitiveness. Yes, yes, yes. He's a go-getter in a way that I think Patrick is showing.

He's not. And Patrick, do you have a... You said that you'd be impressed if I ate three pounds. I'm coming up on three. after this, I'm going to coast. Yeah, you're going to start coasting. You're going to start coasting soon. I'm going to start coasting soon.

Okay, so that's three pounds. Sport mode. This is you turned this turbo? Oh, yeah. We're at 40 minutes. The whole time. I've been on turbo. Now I'm getting cruise control.

So now Joe has about 20 minutes. 19 minutes and 59 seconds left to win the money. And he's staring down the barrel of this shrimp. Yeah. Cam. And you've got to imagine what's. going through his head right now.

Oh, fuck. My stomach hurts. I want to puke. I wish I just stayed home and watched TV. It's a Sunday. What an affront of God this whole fucking operation is. One of the worst... One of the worst...

Part of this, too, is the lingering effect, I feel. I can't imagine what the next... No matter what happens in the next 20 minutes... The next several days are going to be hell. Yes, I agree. For these contestants. Well, maybe not for Patrick. With a little Irish kids.

What do you say? Is that what that song is called? The spark? The spark, yeah. Oh, that's what he's listening to? Wow. We can play that. That's not copyrighted.

We can play that. Yeah. Yeah, Julio, you could pull that out. Let me just, let me just interject real quick. Can you put that music video on the screen? I know that he was going to be star of the day. Okay. Patrick.

I just want to say, I was just here to have fun. Yeah. And hopefully. That's, you're saying that with 20 minutes left. You're saying you were just here to have fun. You're the biggest giver-upper. Not a giver-upper. You gave up before this even began.

It's 100% true. You walked in here giving up. I have an hour and 30. You just said you're only here to have fun. I just ate three pounds of shrimp. You can do shit today, bro. You sat at home played Eldon Ring or something. You don't know our lives, man.

You need to stay out of the announcer's fucking way. we're trying to announce. I wish you didn't give him this microphone. Yeah, we really should take the microphone away. I did a little more than that today, in fact. He scrubbed the toilet stands out of his damn toilet. The toilet just happened outside. Sorry.

Why can I ask Patrick, why is your attitude so bad? Just break through the defenses and just give a straight answer. It might be the tequila. Yeah. Because I really, it really is interesting. It's nobody, I'm not forcing you to do this. You kind of, you kind of claim that you could do this. You did.

And that you wanted to do this. Hyperboically. You're here. You said yes up until we started and then you started saying no. No, I said that on the previous episode. But we still, but you still agreed to do it. I said, yeah, I agreed to do it. Most because I wanted to see Joe do it.

Okay. And look at this. Yeah, I mean, he's being, wait, what's he doing? Oh my God. He didn't even realize this. cutting board said Joseph Joseph. That's what he wanted to show me. The Joseph Joseph

cutting board is unreal. I'm really, I'm really just here in support of Joe. I don't think Joe would do this if I wasn't here to do it. Have you completed three pounds at this point? Yes. And you're stopping? Not stopping. I'm going to eat it in a little bit. Okay. Once we hit 50, I think I'm going to start my fourth. Okay. I said, I'm going to start my fourth.

Okay. I said, I don't know how many I ate, but I wish there was a counter. It's about 40 to 50 per pound. So you're probably, you're around 120 to 150 shrunk. We're thinking to doing a counter, but the problem is that Joe is hard. It would be hard. Joe's doing these handfuls. I think it's impossible.

I think it's pretty difficult. I think a pound counter is is, is, is, yeah, I think, I think. A pound counter is. I'm going to love with you. I almost puked earlier. Really? Really. Yeah. And do we just have one puk bag?

Huh? Do we have one puk bag or bucket? Yeah. toilet. I'm getting up. I'm running. If I have to puke, I'm running. I don't think you're making it to the toilet if you really have to do. No, you're going to have to move through Joe and Joe's pretty locked in. Yeah. Yeah. I can't see that happening. I mean,

uh, we got a table clock. Yeah, dude, you can just puke on. I mean, I don't care. As long as you clean it. I don't care. I just don't want to have to clean it. Yeah. I don't want to touch it. Uh, I don't like you know, it's a table clock. They just lift it up. Pug is so nasty to me. Swing it around. Pug is really great. I'll say, I mean, there is like, there's probably a 60% chance that if one

of them puke, I'm also going to puke. Oh, yeah, you're a sympathetic puker? I, I've never fully sympathetically puked, but I like sympathetically, like, gag. Like, I, I, I saw my grandpa one time puke because my cousin ate one of those chocolate crickets. Oh, yeah. My grandpa just watched him do it and immediately just puked all over himself. You told me about that.

Yeah, he's just reminding me. I'm fully, I do, I feel like, the only other, the only other time. that I've ever felt the way that I feel right now is when I've... Joe has 17 shrimp left. The only other time I've ever felt like this is the... 15 minutes. It's times where I've ingested mushrooms. Really?

Really. And that's, that hurts your stomach. Yeah. I've taken mushrooms and I felt exactly. Joe, if you go a little bit over a shrimp a minute, you're finishing... If you go a little bit over a shrimp a minute, you're finishing at an hour right now. Okay. He doesn't want him to say anything.

Dude, that's his right. He's an amazing competitor. It's fair enough. Pat, I have a question for you, since you've... given up. What is, when do you think? What's that? Whoa! That's the number four. What's that? Oh my God. The four pounds I promised you. Can you, can you describe the, can you describe the, can you describe the psychological feeling that you're experiencing? Yeah, I was just saying this feels like, this feels like right when every time I've taken mushrooms and it's about to kick in. Oh. Um, like, I'm not kidding. like I have like the feeling like I'm like wait a minute has the last like 30 minutes like really happened

whoa he's having like then I have like the the the real is and I'm like oh shit it just hit and I'm like yeah let's go okay so the shrimp is hitting right now because you seem piped up also yeah you do I'm getting a little bit of a second your energy seems to be coming back I'm not going to have fun when this opens okay yeah I have to I I understand that the worst part well let's see I'm fully am sympathetic to that because I help Joe bag these up and they were not smelling very fun even when they were frozen. Can I ask one thing? Did y'all check the expiration dates on the bags? Of course they did. Maybe. Just say yes. Just say yes, dude. He's eating it. Just say yes. Pat, I have a question for you.

That literally smelled like beach sand. When do you think as a huge lover of shrimp? When do you think is the next time you will be eating shrimp after this? I could eat it on Wednesday. Okay. Okay. So like three days. Sunday to Wednesday.

Yeah. I mean, again, I don't eat it all that much. Yeah. Kind of expensive. It's pretty expensive. Me? What did he say? I said, come on, fucker.

The problem with the preparation here is that we should not have kept him in plastic bags. Tell me your issue with that. I wish that... Okay, that he's on Kung Fu fighting. He just whistled the... And the year 1280, Marco Polo learned about the nutritious value of shrimp during his travels to China. And shrimps probably look crazy.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. He learned about it in China. He discovered the shrimp were a heavy influence on Chinese diets since the 7th century. Due to their nutritious and versatile nature. I bet probably did. Back then, new thing, and it's also Chinese. Yeah, that was hitting. crazy. That hit for a honky like Marco Polo? I bet they were putting nuts and some of the

sometimes they'll stir fry. Oh yeah. Put some nut in there. Oh, dude, dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Where is that? Panned express? Yeah. Shrimp are actually even included in many present-day Chinese dishes as well. I've had Chinese shrimp. No, he probably didn't say that. That was a, you know, that that's named after a trade line. Panda Express? So like the Silk Road? Yeah. Patrick, tell me what you think. fucking just believe that shit, dumbass? I did. Patrick, tell me what you think about this. The Panda Express was a stupid asshole.

All right, you got me. You got me. Now, eat your shrimp. I can't believe what could you got me. Even Joe is smiling. I know, Joe's not even hearing. Oh, wow. A popular, a popular shrimp dish in the years 300 to 400 roughly was wrapping a shrimp in fig leaves,

cooking it and serving it with a honey glaze. That sounds good. You're saying that three pounds. Oh, it is close. How close are we here? Can you show us the tray? Yeah. No, it doesn't.

Can you show us the tray? Show the treft. You're messing with them here. that is all that is left for Joe to complete besides a few more. Okay, he's got a few, uh, Joe is really closing in and we're coming up on 50 minutes here. It's about 49 minutes and 45 seconds. I know this would be wrong.

What? Oh, you're doing that? Oh, you're smelled like, it smelled like beach sand. It smelled like beach sand in my nose. I think that the timer, obviously it's an advantage for them, but I do almost want to turn. it around.

Just be able to see it. Well, turn it around now. It's at 50. No, I just want to see if Joe's internal clock can, if he can catch up. I don't know if that's fair. It's not fair, but I really do want to make this harder for him because I think this is in the bag. Yeah, I mean, the, the stomach capacity that's on display here is truly, I mean, I would have thought that that would have been the barrier.

Yeah, me too. That five pounds of shrimp simply would. Oh, okay, groaning. That's really scary. Oh, I just saw something interesting. I just saw something. He just brought a handful of shrimp to his mouth, put some of his mouth,

but then had shrimp in his hand still and put them away. Oh, man. I think he might be hitting a final wall. He's listening to Meek Mill. Oh, really? I'm like sympathetically getting nauseous. Really? Yeah, just.

I feel amazing because I'm not these two guys. That, knowing that makes me feel fucking incredible. Yeah. I feel privileged to watch this display of athleticism. Me too. And I think that this is also something that we could do every day. I don't see an issue with doing this again tomorrow with Jello. I'm busy.

You are? I got work tomorrow. We'll get Noah in here to do it Jolla. Yeah, No, five pounds of Jell. We'll just do just do Noah 10 pounds of Jell. You know, something we were talking about at one point was that they had to eat a final pound of Jell. an extra dollar for every pound of jello you eat after you finish the shrimp.

We don't have jello on deck, but we could have somebody run out and fetch it. If we think that's going to be a possibility. Do you think? The thing is experienced ego death for a second. If we brought in, if you lost yourself, you are acting strange. If we, you are, you're not. 10 pounds of jello for a bonus $10.

I do feel like if we brought in 10 pounds of jello right now, Joe would start eating it. He wouldn't be able to stop himself, I think, after finishing the shrimp, if it was in front of him. Okay, so let's look to this again. I do you can do it. Yeah. Top's hour and a half.

Multiple sauces to bring your own sauce. Display shrimp, one pound on deck. 10 pounds of jello for a bonus. $10. A list of supplies, which I think we have all that. We pretty much do. No puking with a lot of exclamation. Cool branding and courage,

which I think they accidentally, like I said, did the drug, and Rocky thing. Yes. And the blindfold was pretty cool, too. Beer or po-upping to lubricate. Pat did that. Yes, Pat did that.

Pat had two shots of tequila. I think Joe is stone-cold sober. He is. He is. He definitely mentioned not wanting to. Courage, which I think Joe has been throwing. Oh. Okay, we got a

Sheridan. We got a p.actal. We got a Michael Jackson, Tee. I'm feeling, oh, no. He does not look good, guys. say this quietly so he definitely can't hear me because I don't want to psych him out, but he looks like he's having a really bad time and is about to puke.

Yeah, I'm kind of feeling the same. I'm kind of, but let's not, let's not make it. Let's not let our emotion show. Because I don't want, I think that would influence him. I don't want anybody to know how I'm feeling right now. It's all about how these two are feeling. I'm going to say it right now. Three pounds doable for the average human. This is

really scaring me. This is scary. You know when a homeless guy gets on your train car? Yes. When I went to get the cock. tail sauce earlier there's a guy Come on, fucker!

God damn it. Pretty much saying the same thing. And then when I was leaving, he was dancing through the doorway like this. Crazy. Good job, Joe.

I'm giving you a thumbs up. He needs it right now. He needs a thumbs up. And I'll give Patrick a thumbs up too. Yeah. Patrick. And we are at 53. We're about

at 54 minutes here. Fucking none. What? Oh, dude. He just brought it to his mouth and he couldn't put it in. Yeah. He's really hitting the end here.

I mean, you have to imagine, too, that his body hit the limit like 15 to 20 minutes ago. Oh, my God. You know what I mean? Like, like, just this, this urge to keep going. Yeah. When his body is telling him, it's something in his nervous system is saying, I can't put this in my mouth. I don't think I've ever felt that in my life with the food. No, and I've never gotten to that point.

He's going to be really unhappy when we do the second part of this challenge where we go to the gym and he has to squat his body weight. Fast. I think he's going to be pretty upset. Because the body weight is plus five pounds. Yeah. We have to weigh them and then they have to squat their body weight. We should have weighed them in beforehand. Oh, my God.

Well, it would have been five. Yeah. It would have been whatever they eat. Just to prove, I mean, just to prove it's really five pounds. Yeah, we're at, we're hitting 55 minutes here. Okay. So pretty soon we are going to have to monitor the timer. You said what?

Fuck shrimp. Fuck shrimp. 55 minutes. 55 minutes. and almost five pounds down. Joe says, fuck shrimp. Five minutes remaining of,

of any pace. Joe is kind of doing weird squats. This is like electrifying. Yeah, no, this is, to me, this is,

this is what we're always waiting for. Oh, Bill Gates says, accusations contained in the Epstein files are completely absurd. Five minutes bomb from Mission Impossible

is now on display. What we need is, okay, this is going to be slightly off here, but it's okay. we won't worry about it. Shrimp are valued and delectable.

That's a fun fact that I'm reading right now. I'm really just locked in. I almost don't know anything to say because I believe that Joe has one, what are you watching, Pat? Joe has maybe three shrimp left. Joe has, I think Joe literally has three or three and a half shrimp left.

It's pretty impressive. And we're coming in to an hour. McElmore can't hold us. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a good, that's a good finisher right there. Playing a classic video, this is E-Dash shrimp. Eat D's shrimp, I remember that. By Antoine Dixon.

Yep. And we have, and we have passed an hour on the episode time, which was my greatest fear. Yes. That this would become chaos. And I think it's only gotten better as we go because I think that this is now really, I mean, I wouldn't say it's a competition, but Joe versus himself, Joe versus the clock. Yeah. This is, this is, we're at 56 minutes and 30 seconds.

And I think that with the amount of shrimp that's left, small amount. I think we could see Joe taking the shrimp like a pill. I think so too. Maybe you're just swallowing it? Pat, can you see how many shrimp he has left? He has two shrimp on that plate right here. He's eating the, he has some in his mouth right now. Okay, but I believe that's all, I think. Yeah. So, which is why I was saying, I think it's about three and a half shrimp. I think at about one and a half cut up there, maybe. Okay. I see him looking at the timer. Oh, he's thinking he's bringing out the thing he's. He's still a shrimp in his mouth. He does not, he does not feel good. No, no, he's feeling really bad. He may. He may,

He we made oh man Trigger warning blurred puke of shrimp Please avert your gaze if you don't want to see blurry shrimpie puke If you wish to see the shrimpy thing uncensored Please visit our Patreon where you can find this video uncensored Go to patreon.com slash podcast about list for visible shrimp puke And now here we go Oh oh

57 minutes on the clock Oh my God. People listening, Joe just puked about four pounds and struck, dude. How can the human body produce that? Oh, my fucking God. Oh, my God. I cannot believe that. Okay.

All right, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, my God. All right, we lost Cameron. He was not feeling good. Cameron and Noah are gone, but I'm here. Okay, so Pat, Pat is officially. Joey, or no, are you here? I need you to go raise Pat's hand.

Are you fucking kidding me? He won. No puking. There's two shrimp left. I didn't want to win. No puking is on the rules, man. Well, if he doesn't finish... Okay, then we'll call it a tie. Yeah.

But nobody's getting my money. But we're going to raise Pat's hand. Just Pat didn't puke. The tortoise and the hair. be donated. Dude, it's my money and I'll donate it wherever I want. Oh, my fucking God. God damn it, bro.

What the fuck? Can I tell you, man? That was incredible. You did an incredible job. Can you... Can you walk us through what that last 15 minutes felt like? Oh my God. Bro, fuck that. What the fuck? Fuck me. God damn it. You're too off, man.

Oh, I just hit fucking one hour. Fuck. Sorry, one second. I really want to... of Joe to do that because I was just going to make us stay here for the 30 minutes and just leisurely eat shrimp. Yeah. Just because I thought it would be funny.

I knew I, in my heart of hearts, I was like, Joe is going to do this today and it will Maybe that was right. I mean, this, this competition was funny to stay after, but I really, I'm really proud of Joe. Yes. I mean, Joe, that was unbelievable. That was unbelievable. Patrick is the winner. I don't know if we declared that. Yeah, Joe was not very happy

about that. Patrick is the winner by I'm not happy that I won. Listen. And it looks like Joe maybe he's about to weigh his puke. I did have to leave because I was about to throw up myself. The thing is that there's something about it that doesn't even read his puke to me. No, it's truly, I can literally look at it. But the second that I think about that coming out of him, I am going to start gagging again.

Yeah. I mean, that was an amazing. I cannot fucking believe that, man. Yeah, that's tough, dude. I was right on the fucking best thing. You were right. You were right there. I was about. That is a massive pile of...

That is terrifying. Yeah. Dude, Joe, don't do this, man. The good people at the analyst desk do not endorse this. This is truly horrible. This is one of the most horrible things I've ever seen in my life. He wants to see how close he was. And how much trip is still in him.

How much is that way? That's two pounds and one ounce. Okay. So now we know that probably around three pounds is the human, what a human probably should be eating. Shouldn't. Definitely not should. No, three pounds of shrimp is already too much.

Holy fuck, man. You know what? That's true. Getting so close to the mountaintop doing this. Yeah. Honestly, right now, I feel fucking fantastic. I can imagine. I was feeling so terrible.

Yeah. There were a few times vomit-wise where I was getting to a place. of so close but I could hold it, a gag, holding in a gag, holding in a burp. Yeah. To not have that pit in my stomach anymore. Yeah. And still have gotten literally...

Two pounds, one ounce. Well, Joe, I have two pounds left. You're going to eat the puke? Is that what you're saying? No, I have two pounds left for hitting. Okay, so now that you have your head... headphones out. I'd like to ask you the same question. I ask Patrick. When do you think at this point the next time you'll eat shrimp is? Fuck shrimp, man. Honestly, honestly, regardless of how that ended

right there. Yeah. I was face to face with shrimp. Yeah. And I think I honestly won the battle. You really did. That was a feat of human. I can't believe what I watched. I truly can't. The shrimp could only go so far. A shrimp is a fucking bug, man. Wow. The shrimp is a bug at the bottom of the sea. Yeah, stay there, bitch. And I ate hounds of them. Yeah. I conquered them. I turned them into other things.

Puk. I hit all my marks. The only visualization mark that I didn't hit was throwing my arms in the air, finishing it. Yeah. Two shrimp off. Two shrimp away. Crazy. Unbelievable.

If you could go back in time, would you have done anything differently? No, I don't think I could have. I think you played a perfect game. Yeah. I think at the end, I was really trying to, I guess I could have slow played it. it. Yeah. I could have tried to pace myself out more.

Well, that's what I was thinking is like... I could have foregone... If I had foregone the hour, I could have waited it out and then had four shrimp. Joe, can I say something? You look like a different person right now. Yeah. Your eyes don't look right. I feel...

It's... Before right now, the last four days of my life have been some of the hardest four days that I've ever lived. I haven't had a single thing in my life feel so pass or fail all or nothing. Either I do it or I don't. And getting right to the tip of the mountaintop and falling makes me feel like I still did it. I still went through the journey of doing it. And honestly, I feel like I did it. But now I'm walking away without five pounds of shrimp in my stomach.

And that's a win. It's true. But you practically did. I think you came closer than, I will say, I think you probably came closer than most people would think you could have come. Yeah. I think that... I think you beat the odds.

No, I think everyone, I think everyone can take home that if I tried to stretch to the hour and a half, I could have done it. Mm-hmm. Yep. I would like to think Arizona. Arizona was huge for my second half. Really, really. So we were...

What can you... What can you... I can walk you through everything? Because I was doing a lot. I had a lot going on in my head. I was using a knife a lot. Pre-cuts, pre-chews. I was trying to chew as little as possible.

Because chewing releases flavor. Chew releases flavor and that gets flavor fatigue. So what I had been doing in tests that was running the astray was I was going cocktail sauce heavy first. And then you're filling up both on shrimp and cocktail sauce. So with this, I did the whole first two pounds, no additives, no lubricants, no cocktail sauce. Pound two to three, I did. In pound four was probably the slowest section. That's where things spread out.

We noticed this. thing, the cooking shrimp, I would say did something to change it. But at the end of the date, it's fucking shrimp. I'm still in awe. I'm still in awe, Joe. There's the craziest story I've ever heard of human being.

I literally, uh, yeah. Two times in quick succession. I mean, this was, this was a, it's hard to de-slime a shrimp, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's slum. Fuck shrimp. Oh my God. With all my hearts, fuck shrimp.

I still love you, baby girl. No, dude, it's fucking nasty. It's not even worth anything. It's fucking worthless, bro. It's worthless. All right. I fucking conquered shrimp. You did.

Okay. Fuck shrimp. You're conquered shrimp. That was, to me, Joe, you just did one of the great sports post interviews I've ever heard my life. Yeah. So, Pat, do you have anything to say before you're out? this up? I would just like to say that

I'm extremely, extremely proud of Joe. Yeah, yeah. I think we all. I got to four pounds. Four pounds. I think you got to three. I got to three. I think we know three pounds is the limit. A human that a guy like me and Joe can eat for shrimp. Joe, don't play with that because I will puke. Please just leave it alone. Yeah, yeah. You can get it away.

You can go flush it down the toilet. He was going to do the wedding thing. He was going to throw it at my face. Like I was pretty white. No, but I'm extremely proud of Joe. I'm glad that we did this. Yeah, we're showing it. We're showing it.

We're going to have to figure that out. Now we're showing it. Yeah, I don't know. We might have to pixelate it and then put up an exclusive video for those who want to watch it. I think that might be the most vomit that anybody has ever vomited. kept going. The first one I was like, okay,

that was insane. He's done. And then you did two more. I also will say, I was talking about, I have never been so sympathetically about to vomit as then also. That happens to me a little bit,

but that time I had to go outside like three times. That just didn't even read his puke to me. It was just nasty. Shrimp. Yeah. Any parting words, Patrick? Well,

I've started them like three times. Yeah, okay. All right, all right. You can finish it. I'm extremely proud of Joe. I'm really glad that we were able to do this.

Basically, all this has shown me is that Joe is one of the, like, greatest athletes I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. I think Joe has the makings of maybe a Kobe Yoshi, maybe a Joey Chestnut. Certainly, I think Joe could compete against Badlands. I would love to see that one day If Joe is thinking about doing any kind of competitive eating I would love to reach out to Badlands And see if we could get Joe versus Badlands

Or maybe like a soda chug contest Something more in Joe's wheelhouse Maybe a food that Joe likes To the viewers at home Thank you for everyone who believed in Joe Not me Because I know none of you did and honestly, if you were somebody that was doubting me.

Yeah, all right, let's wrap it up. Poor Joe needs to get out of here, man. Yeah, yeah. I'd like to say that all of you guys are my best friends. And I'm just, I'm grateful. I've been wanting to do shit like this since I was a little kid. To finally have a platform to really genuinely, truly be myself. To all of you guys, I really appreciate it.

We love you, Joe. We love you, Joe. Amazing work today. And fuck shrimp. If you could have done it all over, what would you eat five pounds of, though, instead of shrimp? It's not about how much you eat. It's about who you eat with. Wow.

Wow. And anyone that doubted me or Joe, you can lick my nuts. That's right. We have your address on the Patreon if you subscribe. We're sending fucking packages to your house. Okay. All right. Of shrimp.

We'll close it on that. Are you still eating shrimp? Yeah, I'm still eating. Okay. Good night, everybody. Good night, everybody. This has been the shrimp off. Thank you for watching.

Sorry, Yeah. It'll, we'll do something normal next week. Yeah, it'll be normal. Yeah. Okay. Amazing work. So I should let us go on the school buses

if the route is more advantageous for us than the city bus. It should be integrated into the- There's plenty of schools near, like, right by my apartment. I should be able to ride the bus. Yeah. You should, I agree, but I think that there should be like a special ID that you get. Just to prove that you're not a threat to children. Well, here's, I think it should be a nice guy's license.

Maybe you don't get on when the kids are on, but here's, you have the option. You can get it, you can get on it from the, like, depot or wherever it starts. Yeah. And you can take it to the first kid's house and get off there. Yeah. Or you can get on at the school after they drop off the kids and take it back to the depot. Because the kids are safe for me. Yeah.

They're in school. Yeah. And by the way, you have to say that every six minutes on the bus. The kids are safe for me. The kids are safe for me. That's cool because they're not here. Yeah, the kids are safe for me. Oh, that'd be good if they have like a like an air marshal like a bus marshal.

Yes. Who has to come and you're in a cage seat. Yeah. And so they come and they lock you in and then they have a big key. Well, isn't the whole point of the air marshals that no one knows? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is really, isn't that funny that that's a thing? Yeah. That they're like a part of that you have to post into. Do they have to. You have to play mafia? Yeah. Does every flight have an air marshal? Yeah, they have to.

I don't know. I don't know if they're always there. After 9-11, yeah, every single flight does. Is that true? I don't know my phone. I'm pretty sure. Look that up, look that up, Dr. Jay. Somebody look at this crap up.

I'm pretty sure every single flight has an air marshal. That would be just saying. Being a cop. No, not every flight. Not every. Well, less than one to five percent of all flights. Oh. Yep.

Well, I still think the bus marshal is a good idea. And I think that... I think in general, that's a good idea. Yeah, but we got to get some, like, Mario Bosco type guys. Who's that? Is that Mario from the games? No, that's the little... Is that his last thing?

You've never seen Mario Mario. Mario Bosco is that the little guy who, uh, he, like, is always talking about, like, being Italian. He's always wearing, like, a... Can you pull up a picture of Mario Bosco? This is an Instagram Reels guy. Wait, does he have that... The podcast? It's called Growing Up Italian.

Yeah. That's him? Yeah, the little guy on there. He should be on the bus with a gun. Yes. Yeah. So then everyone like, you know, you get on the bus and it's just like, oh, okay, yeah, yeah. This guy should be on the bus with a gun.

He has the, he has the Andy Milanochus. Yeah. Yeah. I don't call it a Milanochus crew. I call it an advantage. Uh-huh. We need to get a Milanakis crew to be on the bus being bus marshals. Yeah.

Throughout the city. I think the bus marshal could have a grenade. Yeah, because it's like... Locked the last guy in there. Everybody off the bus except for you. Or it's even like everyone dies. That's not going to pass with it. I don't think the Pachel.

Kathy Hocchel won't be. Hocul's a little old school. Yeah. This isn't a school bus. I thought it was a school bus. People are still human. Yeah. You need to remember that.

People are still human. I'm okay with blowing up the bus. Can I post that? Can I post that? Will you let me post that to your Instagram grid on a black background all in white right now. People are still human. Will you let me do that? I need this needs to happen.

Okay. And let's see if we change the world. Yeah. You lost your phone too? It was just in my different pocket. You lost your phone? I don't know. I think it's in the toilet or something.

It's in the bathroom. You know, it doesn't matter, man. I'm here with you guys enjoying myself. I don't need to be so plugged in all the time. Well, you're about to use his phone. Yeah, but not because I just want to use a phone so bad. Don't do something wrong. No, I don't do it.

I don't like that kind of thing. Yeah. That's right. I don't like that kind of. People are still. I don't like that kind of prank. And then Eric Clapton. Here, I can help.

Wait, I'm just going to... Don't let Patrick help. I don't trust. I'm just saying the music part. Wait, you go to create? Yeah, you got to create here. Okay. I'm so afraid.

I'm watching him like a hawk, dude. No, I want this to be... You scrolled or going through everything. Oh, okay. So I can do it on here, and then I can post it to the... I think you have to screenshot it. Okay. All right, hold on.

People. Just dictate it. Dictation. Okay, yeah, yeah. For sure. People are still human. Period. Put periods in between every single word. No. No. Oh, my God. This already looks really good.

Actually, I'm going to... It went away, yeah. I deleted it. So how do I screenshot it now? Or save it? Don't you want to... Yeah, whatever. I think I like it on white.

Yeah, sure. Because then I don't have to change it. Oh, there's a download button. Ah. Dude, if we were a couple years younger, this would have been taking about 10 seconds. Three guys trying to make one Instagram post. And no caption, by the way. No caption.

No song either. No song? Yeah, dude. What are you doing? The song would make it beautiful. So distaste. No, I was trying to put that Change the World song by Eric Clapton. There we go.

We can change the world. Tell me that wouldn't stop you scrolling and make you think for a second. People are still human.