Podcast About List - Ep. 377 - The Public Weighs In

Episode Date: February 25, 2026

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Hello, everybody. It's me, Patrick. I am here today, solo, completely by myself. I have given Caleb, Cameron, and Julio the day off so that I can ask members of the public, the greatest hypothetical question that we have ever been asked. Good podcast about West. There's been a hypothetical question going around our friend group. It's kind of tearing us apart. Pretty simple. would you rather walk in on your girlfriend's fucking one Scooby-Doo or five shaggy? That's right, folks. Today, the public weighs in.

Your call has been forward. It's a voicemail. The person you're trying to reach is... So no one's picking up because it's a Google voice number. Mm-hmm. Hello? Yo. Dude, my bad.

I thought it said spam. Yeah. It's the Google Voice thing. I don't know why it's doing that. Has that happened to everybody? I think I called, like, I've called my girlfriend. I called Noah. I've called multiple people, and no one, no one has picked up.

Even though I put out the Google forum for all my friends to fill out. I know. It wasn't in the back of my mind. I was like, oh, it's probably going to be like a different Google number. Yeah. I got to figure out how to make it so we show up in the caller ID. Yeah. Yeah, it just comes up like your iPhone says spam risk. Oh my God. Get right into the question now. Have I ever asked you this before? No. Okay. Why? I didn't know next to. This is already going good.

This is going great. All right. A couple of months. I think I've maybe asked you this before. This is the great. hypothetical we've ever been asked. Now, would you rather walk in on your girl fucking five shaggis or one Scooby? Oh my God. It's a tough question. It's like a really, like, good hypothetical. Yeah, it is.

I mean, yeah, there's like obvious implications. Yeah. Like, one is better than five, but one. is a dog. Yeah. To point out the obvious. See, I was thinking about, like, before calling everybody, I was thinking about, like, figuring out, like, a psychologist I could ask about this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. To gauge, like, the, uh, the, the question itself. Mm-hmm. Yeah, what, like, what does it say about you? What does it say about the asker? Yeah, exactly. Or not the asker, but the, uh, the answerer

because the question's normal yeah right like I'm just asking a normal question yeah you have to yeah the yeah the this whole I'm going to call people

and ask them hypotheticals really puts the burden on the person answering the phone yeah um the public has to weigh in dude does

I mean obviously like Scooby Scooby talks yeah He's sent to you This is the Scooby that we know This isn't Okay I mean

And Do you think that Scooby In the cartoon Was like Like when he was dressing up Like a woman and stuff Uh huh Granny do?

Yeah Are you speaking Are you speaking specifically about Granny do From the movie? Yeah Yeah from the movie. I just recently watched the movie on a flight. Still holds up.

Yeah. The Melvin do bit is so funny. Oh, it's so good. Oh, man. I feel like I'm going to get in trouble when she gets home if she ever finds out what I answer. Because I really feel like the answer is Scooby. You think so? You think it's one Scooby? Yeah, because it's different.

Yeah. Like, Scooby being sentient and all that. Like, Scooby can get down. I can't believe I'm, like, I'm recorded answering this. Dude, it's not going to be just you. It's going to be multiple people. I hope so. I think you're going to ask me about, like, disgusting food.

No. No, it's the, dude, it's the greatest hypothetical in the world. Yeah, I mean, like, because, yeah, the question is, what would I rather walk in on? And I think both would be appalling, but like five dudes. Yeah. Come on now. Five dudes and their stoners? Yeah, they're looking at me like, did you bring lunch?

Yeah. What's up, dude? Yeah, Scooby. It would be Scooby. One Scooby. Okay, so we've locked on. Yeah, you have a graphic that shows up on the screen right now. There's a scoreboard on the, there is going to be a scoreboard on the screen.

Yeah, I really, I really have to know how, how this question gets answered by other people. Yeah, I'll let you, I mean, it'll come out. I won't be able to look her in the eyes later on. Hello? Hey. Hey, what's up, man? How are you doing? I'm doing well, how are you?

I'm good. I'm, you know, I'm doing the, uh, the, the episode right now. I'm calling a bunch of people. That's great. You caught me right as I'm entering an underground parking garage, so we'll see how long we can do this for. Every single call has gone like this, basically. Hello? Corey. So I can hear you now. Okay.

Are we live? We are live. We are live on the air. Yes. Great. What's up? So I have been calling people and asking the same hypothetical. This is a hypothetical we were asked months ago. Okay. And I think it's a very, very hard question to be asked. Are you sitting down?

Are you ready to get this question? I'm in a target. Can I answer this in a target? No, no. Because you're going to have to... Okay. All right. You know what?

I'm going to ask it. And if you don't feel comfortable answering it in a target, You don't have to. Or you could just say... I mean like the oxyclean aisle. Okay. Well, it's a pretty dirty question. Okay.

So maybe being in the proximity of oxyclean will help. Noted. I'll get right into it, all right? Would you rather walk in on your girl fucking five shagggy's or one Scooby? Oh, man. That's a, what era, Shaggy? What era? That's honestly one of the best questions asked so far.

Like Lillard or like cartoon? Okay, I'm going to say it's like Lillard and then four other versions of the cartoon. So it's like... It's like five different... Yeah, five different styles of Shaggy. Like you got Lillard, Casey Kaysam, one of the other guys and then like, I don't know how many shaggies there are. Can Scooby talk?

Yeah, I mean, it's like, you know. It's not just like that. It's regular Scooby. Sorry. Sorry, my cart's in the middle of the aisle. That's moved to that. Okay, so it's not just like a dog. No, it's like, you know, I mean, if we're going,

Going by, I forget which movie presents this idea, but there is... This is from a movie? There's apparently one movie where it's revealed that Scooby is in Anunnaki, so technically he's an alien. That looks like... Oh. Sorry, hold on. I'm looking for, like, the spray. Sorry, this is, like, not the oxygen clean I'm looking for. it's uh because this is the one i'm looking at now is like a big bucket but i think of a spray kind

well maybe it's a different no it might be this oh i think it's this so sorry patrick okay um you know i'm gonna go scoby i'm gonna go scoby okay okay i think that'll be i think that'd be more magical i don't know if that's like the right word uh-huh okay all right well thank you so much for answering this question, Corey. Thank you for taking time out of your shopping experience. Yeah, no, I, like, I moved yesterday, so we're like, we're like getting stuff to clean the house and yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know.

How's the, how's the episode going? It's been going okay, you know. There was like a couple calls that got failed, but, you know, I was able to circle back with them. Yeah, get some real friends, right, don't you? Yeah, it's true. It's true. But thank you again, Corey. Thank you so much.

I have like seven more people to call. Hello? Hello? Joe. Who's this? This is Patrick. What's up, Pat? I'm calling on Google Voice right now.

I'm doing a solo episode where I'm asking everybody... Oh, very cool. I'm asking everybody hypotheticals. I'm asking everybody the greatest hypothetical ever asked on the show. Oh. Got it. Okay, cool. What's up? This is, I'm trying to, you know, the public needs to weigh in on this question. Sure. And I'm the public.

You're part of the, I don't know if you're part of the public, but. Well, I'm happy to weigh in on a hypothetical. Well, thank you. Are you in an underground tunnel right now? Do I sound shitty? No. Just the last person I called went into an underground parking garage and got disconnected um no i'm in i'm in my apartment okay are you sitting down i can't should i sit down is yes the question is it's a dude it's a brain teaser it's a brain buster it's gonna it's gonna knock me off my and i maybe have asked you this before okay so i'm sitting down now okay so

the question is would you rather walk in on your girl fucking five shaggies or one scooby um got to be five shaggies right is that what you think yeah because i think one scooby i've got to question everything that's going on with my life i like you know i don't really want to be i don't want to have spent so much time with someone who's like willing and actively okay with fucking a scooby but five shaggies at least I can kind of

you know I personally don't want to fuck five shaggies but I can understand why someone would maybe want to you could understand why somebody would fuck five shaggies there are there are certainly people out there who are who would love to do that yeah

do you think so and I know there's people Do you think there's like shaggy fuckers out there? Yeah, like surfer. Surfer chicks. Is he a surfer? I've never really like, I did, when I was imitating him, I did surfer voice earlier. Well, he's a stoner.

Yeah. Well, I guess those kind of go hand in hand, but not really. He's like a, I don't know that he's surfing, but he's like all of his friends surf and he like goes and hangs out when they're surfing for sure. And like his other friends solve mysteries, I guess. Yeah, I think most of his friends solve mysteries. I don't think I've ever seen him with surfers. But what I'll say about this hypothetical is both situations, not great.

Heart wrenching. Yeah, both heart-wrenching situations, yeah. That's what's so, I mean, yeah. It's a real. That's just heart-wrenching about this question. There's a question that should be called Scooby's Choice, or no. Yeah. that's what the special

no because I guess it's more of yeah because Sophie made the choice yeah yeah I mean there's a there's definitely some differences between Sophie's choice

and this hypothetical where you're having sex with one of the or where someone is having sex with one of the what's it called mystery mystery crew mystery bunch

yeah the mystery team no mystery team yeah I think it is the mystery team I feel that's a movie in there what are they The mystery machine is their truck.

The mystery machine is their car. The mystery team is a Donald Glover movie that I just bought on Blu-ray. Yeah. Wow. It was shot in my hometown. I had to get it. It's one of our best exports. Shout out to Pearson.

D.C. shout out. D.C. Pearson. Great guy. All right. Well, I hope I saw it aside. How many other hypotheticals are the day? the only other person that's answered so far has been Mike D and he said Scooby. Why? He'd rather, he said he'd rather walk in on one. But it's a person who is doing the math thing.

Yeah. Yeah, but I would say, I would say, I would say, I would say one dog is worth like, is worth about 25 people. Okay. Good point. I would say that's like, like, if you're getting into the, the, the double digit, of shaggis, that's when you start to maybe consider the Scooby. Because at least Scooby is like

at least Scooby speaks English. Yeah, not well, but he speaks it. Yeah, you could like, you could, you could almost give a pass of like, oh, Scooby was in an outfit. He was wearing one of the hats, like on the airplane. Yeah, if your girl was fucking Granny-Doo, I could see like, a granny do was brought up as well in the previous call yeah i mean scroby at the end of the day there's just uh if you've gotten the post of you are you're going to have to be either very

oblivious to a lot of very obvious signs of uh you know being a dog which again is a different thing i think 20 people 20 shaggies is where i start to the scale. Where did that come in? I'm trying to think about how, because 20 is like these people are, and am I walking into my own house? Yeah, you're walking into your apartment and right there. Well, even like, yeah, I don't want someone who I don't know even, you know. Yeah. Like once it gets, once it gets to more than 20, it's like where are they even in my place?

More than 20. Where are you bringing this up from? I'm trying to get to the threshold of when Scooby becomes acceptable. Okay. Yeah. So you're saying... Five is no question. Yeah, you're saying five is you'd rather...

Okay. All right. I'm starting to understand. Like, I'm saying 19. I'm still... 19, you would still be over double... Not even 10. Not even 10.

It would have to be 20 for you. you to be okay with one one scooby i don't know man uh i mean it's honestly i live my life in such a way that i'm just so confident that this is never going to happen to me that i feel like i'm so perfectly open and willing to discuss this without uh any fear um yeah i know what you mean so i just want yeah i'll i'll leave it on the idea that i have no i have no i have no Fear. Okay. I'm fearless in my day-to-day life. That's your answer. So your answer is I am fearless. My answer is 20 shaggis and I'm fearless.

Okay. All right. All right. Thank you, Joe. I'm going to take another call now. Hello. Hello, Clark. I'm circling back. Hey, who's this? This is Patrick. Oh, hey, what's up, Patrick? How's it going? It's been going okay. The first couple of calls, I mean, you know, you had to hang up. My friend Corey went into a parking garage and then got disconnected.

Like lost service? Yeah, lost service. I don't even know if I'm going to call him back. I think it's funny to leave it at lost service. Yeah, I think, well, I mean, I think like I feel like I should hang up. And then the point of the show should just be you can't get through to anyone. I can't take a single call. You can't get anyone.

to stay on the fucking phone. Well, that's been, the thing is, is this Google voice number doesn't have caller ID, so I haven't really been able to, like, get through to some people because it shows up as spam likely. Oh, it didn't show up as spam likely for me. Like, I never would have answered if it had. But for me, I'm always just like, you know, like, what if someone I know was, like, hit by a bus?

And this is the NYPD calling me or something. It's like a New York number that doesn't say spam. So I like answer in a panic. Yeah, and you're answering in a panic right now for this question. Exactly. Every time I see an unknown New York number pop up, I'm like, fuck, it's a fucking podcast. I can't do this. You're going to ask me some dumb questions.

No, it's a deeply philosophical question. It's a completely people, I've had people on the phone. I just had somebody on the phone for like close to 10 minutes for this question. I'm asking everyone the same question, by the way. Okay, now I'm even more scared. Yeah? All right. Well, are you ready?

Are you sitting down? Are you sitting down for this? I've been asking that as well. Let me sit down, actually. I don't really, I just broke my office chair, so I'm going to stand up. Oh, no. Okay. All right.

So the question is, would you rather walk in and see your partner fucking five shaggis or one Scooby-Doo. Wait, this took some people 10 minutes. I feel like five shaggis. Like, no question. I've had some scoobies. Because see, like, shaggis, that's just normal.

Yeah. I mean, that's just normal cheating at that point. If it's a scooby, that changes things. But he's also sent you. He could be in a costume. Yeah, but then it's like, why are you dumb enough to get tricked by the costume? Like, that's clearly a dog, bro. I don't know.

You've seen Granny do in the movie. I don't know. I wouldn't go for Granny do, but that's, you know, maybe that's some internal bias I need to check. Yeah, I feel like, I feel like, well, let's unpack that. I'm just like, honey, let's, you know, let's talk. We can open things up. Like, what is it that five shaggies gives you that I don't? You know, like, I want you to have that.

But I'm never going to be able to give a partner what one Scooby gives them. You know what I mean? Whereas, like, I might be able to, like, wrap my head around five shaggies. Yeah. Yeah, but do you think that you could eat as much as five shaggies? No. Like, I don't think I could eat. I feel like either way, the relationship's ruined.

We're talking food? Well, yeah. Yeah, well, yeah, I feel like that's a huge part of this. I thought you were being like disgusting all of a sudden. I don't know. Like could you eat as much dick and five shaggy? No, no, no, no, no. Not like that.

Not eating like that. I'm talking like big sandwiches. No, there's no way I could keep up with either scenario when it comes to sandwiches. Well, yeah, think about that, right? You're like, you know, you're trying to like fix things after, right? And then it's like, like, you know, your partner just wants you to like eat big sandwiches all the time, but stay skinny. Yeah, exactly. Or it's like, or we try to go like really polly and transparent with it.

And then like I have to pick up the check for like me and my partner five shaggies and one Scooby. Right. Either way. Either way, you're paying for their fucking food. I'm paying for a lot of goddamn sandwiches. Yeah. It's a lose-lose scenario. So you think it's like,

you think it's like an eater fetish that would draw someone to either of these scenarios? Like somebody really wants to see a bunch of sandwiches in the mouth? Maybe. I feel like, I feel like if you're having sex with Shaggy or Scooby, I think food would be involved.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's a good point. How could it not be? Yeah, they love that. I guess my question to you is like, is it just Shaggy and Scooby or like, are any... So it's either, Five clones, five identical clones of Shaggy.

Wait, but what are the other people named? Is one of them, I feel like one of the girls is named Dora? Daphne. Thelma. Velma and Daphne, yeah. Velma, okay, so Selma and Dora. Selma and Dora. Where are they in all of this?

They're just, they're around. I mean, you get to like, you know, talk to them, I guess. They're watching. They're not there. No, this is like a scenario where it's like five identical clones of Jaggy or, well then it's also there's the cloning thing. Like, there's a lot. I mean, like, because then in a way, it's not actually like my partner's cheating on me

with five different people. It's really kind of like one person. Yeah. Like there's one mistress involved. The one mistress has just been cloned. Yeah. So that also lowers the stakes. So now what do you think?

I mean, I just, I don't see a world in which I would be okay with Shet, with the Scooby. Okay. Because that's a dog. All right. You know what I mean? Like, everything else aside, that's still someone fucking a dog. And I'm not, that's, I'm a talking dog. I'm a drawing line in this hand on fucking a dog.

He's actually, actually, if you want to get into the nitty gritty of it, he's actually an Anunnaki alien. I don't really want to get into the nitty gritty of it, my friend. Run this cup for six hours. I don't call anyone. Thanks for extending the offer to get into the nitty-gritty on that, but I'm going to pass on like the Scooby species makeup. All right, so that's two. I've locked in.

I've locked in. You're going, you're going five shaggis. Yeah. Has anyone fallen on Scooby? Yes. Yes. Oh, that's fucked up. I'm like, I want that person out of my life.

Hi. Hi. How are you doing? I'm good. I'm all right. I'm doing the episode. Am I on it? I'm calling.

Why? Because I don't know. I've only been asking men. You don't know any other women? No. No one else. No one else filled in the forum, and I know that you're not working right now. Wow.

There's only men who filled in the forum. I didn't want, you know. Says a lot. Says a lot about me? No, I just think women are averse to Google forms. Would you say that's true? You saw it. You saw the form.

You didn't fill it out. Yeah, I didn't. I'm not averse. Google form. Okay. But maybe you're an outlier. I don't know. Maybe. So can I ask you something really quick? Sure. Is this a different question than the one you asked me this morning? What did I ask this morning? You asked if I'd rather walk in on, I guess you, fucking five shaggies or one Scooby-Doo. It's not different. you definitely asked me this a few months ago, too, when it was first, when it was first

a lot of. Well, what's the answer? I think I said this the first time, too, but five shaggies. You'd rather walk in on me fucking five shaggis. Yeah, because I don't want to see you fucking a dog. He's not a dog. He's an Anunaki. What is that? It's a type of alien.

It's not true. Yeah. Yeah, it's true. Hold on. What? Yeah. Because he can talk. He's an alien?

No, it's revealed in Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated. The Anunnaki are interdimensional, non-physical alien beings who visit Earth during the Nibiru event every few thousands of years. There's no way. Yeah He's technically I mean I don't You know I'm gullible This isn't funny because you know I'm gullible

Yeah but this is true This is I'm on the I'm on I'm on scooby-doo dot fandom dot com slash wiki Okay This was revealed in Scooby-Doo mystery Is still in the form of a dog

It's still in the form of a dog So it would still be me So you would be fucking You know His butt That's the only place. But if it was five shaggy, if it was five shaggy, then, that's the only place. That's the only place I could do that.

I guess it's mouth, too, but that one's work, right? But if it's, like, if it's shaggy, it's, like, human, like, whatever, like, who hasn't seen gay porn? Like, I'd rather walk into that. Okay. What woman has not seen gay porn? My mom, apparently. Well, I'll have to say, I, yeah, I'm keeping my answer at five shaggy's. Okay.

All right. So I think now, even if Scooby-Doo is an alien, like, he takes the form of a dog. Mm-hmm. And I would rather not see you engaging in any sexual activity with a dog. Okay, but you would, you'd want to see me fuck five guys. Okay, I wouldn't. I wouldn't say I want to, but if I had to pick one, I would choose, yes, five guys. Yeah, me and a burger. Come on now.

What about you? Would you rather see me? I've already answered this. I've already answered this. Did you hear what I said, though? No. Five guys. Yeah, me and a burger. Yeah, okay, you've done that. I've heard that before. I said that. I said that when I originally asked. Yeah. Probably. I've heard you make that. Jesus. Jesus Christ, I'm getting stale. That's all right.

You've heard me say all this before? You've made the five guys burger joke before. Maybe not, and maybe not like about this hypothetical. In what context would I have ever said that? I don't know, but I know you've said it before. Because it's such an easy to make. Yeah. Yeah, but it would be, it's not five guys.

It's five shaggies. You got to remember that. They're going to be eating big sandwiches and in the room. And then if you fuck five shaggy's, right, it's five shaggy clones. They would need to do a hardcore enema before. Why? Because all the crap they eat, all the sandwiches, burgers and hot dogs. You think they have a poor diet?

Yeah, that's kind of the whole thing. That's like they're saying. Yeah. I guess. They're like, he's supposed to be like a stoner. It's implied, you know, common knowledge. Yeah. So, yeah, I don't think they eat very well.

Yeah. And you're saying they would have to, each of them would have to do a hardcore enema. So you think, you think that I'm fucking them in a line. Well, if that's what you're doing. You're saying I'm a top. Well, you would have to, you would also have to do it. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, I don't think you eat as bad as Shaggy does, but because you live with me, like, you know, I try to make you healthier, but, yeah, you'd still have to do one.

Okay. It'll be the respectful thing to do. Okay. Well, you're the only person that's brought up animas so far. Because I care about, like, hygiene and stuff, you know. Okay. So hygienically, which one would you... Well, it depends on how you're doing it, right?

Like, you're... I... Maybe average it's mind. I'm going right to, like, full-on sex. Uh-huh. You know? So I don't know. I just...

That's what makes the hypothetical funny. Hypothetical funny is that. I don't know. I don't know. All right. So I'm penciling you in for five shaggies. Well, what has everyone else said? Who else have you off so far?

Most... You're not going to believe this. a lot of Scoobies. Hello? Anofrio. Hello. Patrick? Hi, how are you doing?

I'm good. How are you? I am doing well. I think you were call number seven or eight right now. I've been doing this all day. I've been calling people asking the exact same hypothetical. Are you having fun? It's been going good.

I've been getting good answers out of people. Let's go for it. Let's see what we got. Have I asked you this before? It's one of the, it's one of the, it was a viewer submitted question that we have kind of pondered over for years. And I think it's one of the greatest hypotheticals ever asked. What's hypothetical? What is that? The hypothetical question is, would you rather walk in on your girl fucking five shaggies? Or one Scooby.

Or partner. Doesn't matter what gender. Five. I've been saying partner. Five shaggers. And then I started saying, girl. I don't think that matters. Five shaggers or one scooby?

Yeah. All that matters is the answer to the question. I say one scooby. I think that's... Really? Yeah. I think that's a different. I mean, five shagggy's, that's fine.

Like, you know, that's just... So Scooby's one of a kind. Yeah. I think that's a special thing. I don't know if I'd be the happiest about it, but I think I'd be a little bit happier about it. Yeah. But that's different.

It is different. It would be, I mean, yeah, I think the way that people answer this question is really, like, everyone that says Scooby brings up the fact that he's special. Really? Yeah. Everyone's asking about, like, you know, or like they're saying that like, oh, it would be cool because like you get to meet Scooby-Doo or like, you know, like things like that.

Also that he's an honor, almost. Yeah, it's very honorable. Yeah, it's a complete honor. I mean, I think. I mean, it's just not vanilla with five shaggies, but I don't know. It's a my girl, my partner, she's into some cool. shit then I guess. If it was a different, if it was a Scrappy do, I think

this would be a different conversation. You think so? Well, yeah, Scrappy's a puppy. Yeah. That's his whole thing is puppy power. That is very true. That's a whole other, you know what? Shit, maybe I should call everyone back. All

fucking seven or eight people that I've called. Yeah, that's no good. Yeah. That's no good. Scrappy's a definite no Bueno. No, yeah, no good. Yeah. I mean, in any capacity, I think.

Yeah, Shaggy is just whatever. Scooby, that's pretty special. But I don't know. I mean, is this cartoon or real one? I guess it's up to the beholder. Mm-hmm. I think the real one's a little bit funnier. So that would be, I'd enjoy that more.

Okay. That's just my opinion. Yeah. Well, thank you for giving your input. Hello. Hello, Joey. Hey, Patrick. What's up, man? Nothing much. I'm just calling for the hypothetical episode. How are you doing today? I'm pretty good, you know. How are you? I'm good.

I think I'm an hour into the calls, and it's been going pretty good, been getting a lot of interesting answers, been getting a lot of good, good, good, like, you know, rebuttal questions, things like that. How's your day going to get a really fucking boring one for me? Yeah, well, let's see. Oh, yeah, I'll keep it dull for you guys, you know. You're going to keep it real, real dull?

Yeah, I'll keep it fucking boring as shit. All right. I want your viewers to go away. All right, well, Joey, I'm really, I'm just, sure you're you're familiar with this question i may or may not have asked i think i've asked everybody this is the point of this episode is that the public is weighing in the public finally weighs in on this question that was asked to us a long time ago all right do you have any guesses as to what the question is um you want to hang out later that's the question that's the question yes no no no no no the

question is the greatest hypothetical ever asked on the show would you rather walk in on your girl fucking five shagggy's or one scooby um shit it's tough i've been asking you know what i forgot to ask you that i've been asking everybody is are you sitting down before I ask the question? I am sitting down. Okay, well thank God. On the couch?

I'm just on my bed, you know. Oh, okay. Fucking spammer wants to talk to me right now. Go away. I'm trying to think about my girl fucking Scooby. I think that might be me texting you from Google Voice. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's showing up as a scam call

too, which makes us funnier. just makes my head spin trying to take him an answer um honestly um well wait wait what was would i be angry of like scabby scabby scabby this is a different guy yeah uh scubby yeah would i be like angrier like yeah what would you rather walk in on um honestly one scooby because I think that's kind of interesting, you know? Yeah. Yeah, he's an Anniakie. Five shaggies is a lot.

I don't think I can take five shaggies, you know. They've got that, like, you know, big-ass fucking sandwich build, you know, going on. See, that was, you know. I'm glad you brought that up. I have brought up the fact that there is going to be big sandwiches in the room to multiple people. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's always eating those daguas and, like.

Yeah. spicy crop is shit and stuff. Yeah. I mean, I guess Scooby is too, but then you have to multiply the sandwiches by five. Yeah, that's a lot of fucking sandwiches. Yeah. There's a whole ass deli in there, you know? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Also, like, I wouldn't be surprised if someone hooked up with Scooby because that, like, he can talk. You know, that's, like, impressive. I feel like anybody, you know, certain types of people, whether I mean, like, a talking dog would be like, holy shit i gotta i gotta do something with them yeah i gotta see what this guy's all about yeah absolutely yeah um so final answer um scooby one scooby okay yeah all right hello hello hey jaron how's it going hello it's going side yeah Who's this?

This is Patrick. Oh, hey. You filled out the form. I'm calling on my Google voice number. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I just filled it out while it's crapping. Yeah, well, you're not the first today. Multiple people have called from the bathroom.

Oh, my Lord. I'm going to get an immediate call. Well, yeah. I mean, I'm at the computer right now. doing the calls. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Well, I guess I should stay here in the bathroom.

All right. Are you at work? Yeah. All right. Not the first as well. Not the first. Oh, good. I'm in the biggest bathroom.

Oh, nice. At work. Well, I hope there's no one else in there because I have a hypothetical I've been asking everybody. All right. I hope. I'm just worried your boss is going to walk in. No, I'm in like a, I'm in a locked room. Okay, all right.

But I'm in the biggest one. Oh, nice. All right, let's get right into the question then. Okay. So, would you rather walk in on your girl? Wait, you broke, you broke up right when you said that. Oh. All right, all right.

All right. All right. Would you rather? Walk in on your girl. Fucking five shaggis or one Scooby-Doo. I mean, easy, right? One Scooby-Doo. See, it's crazy how many people are answering that.

Shaggy's nastier. Even one shaggy is even nastier than one scooby-D. You're saying one shaggy is nastier than Scooby? He's an alien dog. I know, but Shaggy's kind of nasty. He just seems like, clammy handed I feel he smells worse than the dog

You're the first person, I think, to bring up the smell I mean, yeah, it is kind of weird I guess to theorize about the smell of a Yeah Drawing Yeah, five And then five of them You know

I do feel like he does have kind of a Pachuli smell I don't know what it is But I guess you got to assume They got the hippie van. Yeah. He's the only one that actually seems like a hippie. So if they have that van and they're all in there.

Yeah. And he's in there with a dog for crying out loud. That's normal. Yeah, but, you know, he's already got his own musk. And then the musk of the dog is mixing in with his. Yeah, you know he's sleeping with that dog. Yeah, he's the dog's in his bed. Wait, is Scooby doing aliens?

Yeah, he's, according to mystery. incorporated. I forget which episode. But he is an Anunaki. According to one... Oh, God. Yeah, one mystery incorporated episode. I'm saying, oh, God, because I fucking...

I freaking laughed hard enough to... I got myself sick from shoveling last night. Oh, yeah? I'm shoveling out my car. And it was, like, kind of nice out. I don't know if you were out last night. Oh, I was... Kind of nice out. I was shoveling to every other temperature that we've had for so long.

So I was just out there shoveling for two and a half hours and got sweaty. And then now I'm sick. Oh, no. So I've had the toilet paper little nuggets in my nose because my nose has been running so crazy. Oh. And I just shot them out. I laughed and shot them out of my nose. So now I'm screwed.

Hello? Yo. Hey, Julio. I'm doing the episode right now. Okay. Can I ask you something? I don't think you ever answered this. Should you or could you?

You can ask me something. Okay. Would you rather walk in on your girl fucking five shaggis or one Scooby? I think five shaggis. Five shaggis? Yeah. Did you answer this? I don't remember.

I don't think I was there when you guys came up with this on the episode. Well, somebody called in and asked. But I think, yeah, but I think, I think the right answer is just five, you know, five goofy guys. Because then it's like, oh man, that kind of sucks, but I can just walk away. If it's a dog, you've got to, like, put it both down. I think. I think, yeah, I think it's a connection to that. I get a bad connection.

I don't think I heard the question. Can we go with the fabric? What a kid? I'm only asking this question. What? Yeah, I asked everyone. I asked everyone the same one. Wait.

I think I actually got the wrong number. Okay. This is someone else actually. Okay. I'm not me. All right. Thank you. I love you.

Hello? How are you? I'm good. I have to do a solo episode of the podcast. So I'm calling people. Why? Caleb and Cameron and Julio are busy I'm just calling people and I'm asking

the same hypothetical question Okay It's a little bit blue It's a little bit of a raunchy question And you're asking your mom, okay I figured I'd get your answer Okay Would you rather walk in on dad fucking five Scooby-D?

Or five shaggies or one Scooby-Doo? define shaggy like shaggy from scooby-doo um hmm that's a tough one yeah prefer not to see any of that yeah but if you if you walked into the house and then dad was doing that which would you rather see five shaggy's there or one scooby-doo if i said one scooby-due do does that mean something other than what it's mean no it's scooby-do the dog oh um And then it's five, like, identical clones of Shaggy. Yep, that's a guy. Yeah.

Do I want to see him doing an animal or a man? Yeah. Well, he's not really an animal. He's a, in the canon, Scooby-Doo is an Anunaki alien. Oh. Well, then I guess Scooby. You're saying Scooby? Right.

I don't know. That's a tough one, Pat. You put me in a tough... Well, I'm just... I'm just asking to confirm because a lot of people have, everyone that I've asked about this has had, has struggled with the question. It is a tough question. Yeah, it is a tough question.

I don't want to see him doing any of that. You don't want to see Dad doing any of that. No, I don't want to walk in on him doing something like that. Yeah. I mean, I understand that. Would you want to walk in and see your girlfriend? I mean, I've already answered this. What was your answer?

I think it was five shaggies because at least it's not a dog, but Right. Everyone has... The dog isn't a dog, it's an alien or something. Yeah, I mean, technically it's an Anunaki. And it's dad doing this, by the way. I know.

He's having a good time. I don't... I don't... I don't want him doing any of it because then I'd grab a knife and stab him. You would kill Dad immediately? Do you ever see the Bobbitt? Lorina Bobbitt? You would go Lorena Bobbitt on Dad? I'd be pretty upset.

Yeah. I mean, that's... If he was doing the dog, well, I'll get hot water. The dog, I mean, I don't know if the dog's doing him or he's doing the dog. I don't know. Why do you have to ask? What makes you think of these questions? I didn't think of it. Liam did. Liam was a viewer who called. I don't know. Fucking Liam. Sick, twisted dasted. Um, I... And it's, so it's five identical clones of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo.

Versus one Scooby. Well, first of all, let's be real. No man can keep up doing five. I don't know. I've... There's some videos. out there of that. There is? Probably. I don't want to know. You think no man could take five? At once?

I don't know. Or do all five? Well, five, they're all there. They're all in the room with dad. How can you do them all? All five. Yeah. So you're saying that they're saying that

question's impossible so that you have so you have to answer scooby you could go continuously and do five them i don't know i mean this this is this is any typical male can't any typical male can't yeah but then this is this is you learning a secret about dad i know and i don't want to think like that yeah your dad would never done his way out towards you oh right now okay you want me to call him Do you want me to put him on the call? And why? Do you want me to call dad and put him on the call? Hey.

Hello. Hey, can you hear me? Hello? Hello? Yeah, I can barely. I'm in a car. Oh, okay. What's up?

Nothing. Are you, where are you going? You're going to New York, Mom says? I'm going upstate New York this week. Yeah. Yeah. Are you in the car alone? Yeah, I'm in the car alone.

Okay, because I had to call, I called Mom and I asked, we're doing an episode about hypotheticals. And the question was, we asked Mom, would she rather walk in on you doing one Scooby-Doo versus you doing five Shaggis? And Mom said that there's no way that you could do five shaggis at once. Do you refute that claim, or do you believe that you could? But I couldn't do five shaggies? Yeah, mom says you can't do five shaggis. Mom says it's physically impossible for you to do that. Physically impossible, huh?

Yeah. She thinks you couldn't do it. I mean, you'd have to see how good looking shaggy was. I mean, it's shaggy. It's like, you know, the cartoon shaggy. But it's five identical clones versus one Scooby. But she was hung up on... I'd rather do five guys or one.

one dog, I don't know. Yeah. But she was saying, she was saying that the question can't even be answered because you couldn't do it. Like, you couldn't do five shagas. Oh, she's saying I'm physically unable to do it. Yeah, she doesn't think that you could do it. Do you think you could? That's slander.

You think that's slanderous, yeah. That's what I'm asking. That's a slanderous comment by your mother. Mm-hmm. I definitely could do five shaggies. You could, okay. All right. That's all I needed to know.

All right. All right. I just got off the phone with Dad. Yes. Dad says that he could do it. Okay. So what's your answer now? Typical mail.

I think you can do it. All five. Would you rather walk in on him doing all five Shaggies or? Yeah, I'd like to see that. I'd like to see that happen. You'd like to see. I'd like to see him, yeah, maybe kind of.

Okay. Bring it. All right. Let's see. But now, now it's, now, let's not much try it, but. Now it's becoming, now it's just you saying that because you think that dad is being too braggadocious. Yeah. So now.

You don't think he is? What do you think? What do you think that could do? He confirmed, he confirmed that he thinks he could. Do you think he could? I don't know. He said he could. I mean, I'm not going to call dad a liar.

That says he can. Then, yeah, there it is. That's not a liar. That's one thing your father isn't. Do you think that's why he's going upstate? Oh, God. Don't get me all freaking out. He's supposed to be going there for work.

Do you know something? I don't. No. All right, good. All right. So what was your, so your answer was one Scooby? You don't, you ask, what is the question? The question is, do you, would you rather walk in to the, if this happened, would you rather walk in on dad,

having sex with one Scooby-Doo or five Shaggies? And my answer was none of them, but if he says he can do the five, Put your money where your mouth is, kid. Okay. I feel like the question's kind of tainted now because you're... Yeah, it is. You're kind of... And now I'm mad.

Now you're mad. Yeah. Now you're going to call him and ask him why he's actually going to go for his work trip. Yep. Believe you me. I'm going to hang up with you. All right. You know who I'm speed dialing.

Yeah. All right. So I guess I'll put you down for five shaggies. Yes, please. Okay, all right. And one thin mint. And one thin mint? Yes.

Okay. All right. I don't have Girl Scout cookies. Oh. Are they selling them now? Don't eat them. They're full of chemicals. Okay.

They're not good. I mean, they're pretty good. You can't deny that they're not good. Yes, they are, but they screw with your body, so don't do it. Okay. All right. Don't eat wheat thins either. Don't eat wheat things either.

Yes. They're not allowed in other countries. Okay. And don't eat McDonald's because it's human flesh. Okay. That is the episode today. Thank you very much to the person who called in and asked that question. Let me see if I can... I may hang up. Hi, this is Patrick from Podcast About List.

I just wanted to call you back and say thank you so much for the... voicemail that you left on November 6th, 2024, about one Scooby versus five Shaggies. I just did a whole episode where I called random people and I asked. I had to record a solo episode. And yeah, I just want to give you your flowers. This is the greatest question that's ever been asked. and thank you very much for this. Yeah, I don't know what else to say here other than thank you.

Here, okay, I'm going to read you right now my credit card. So it's 4117. What was that hypothetical you were asking me earlier? I just remembered. Oh, I had a crazy hypothetical. Oh, I thought you were asking me to read the one. that I read you earlier. No.

No, I asked you. That's a good one too, though. I want to hear Caleb's answer to you. What was the actual goal of that hypothetical? What was it? Because it got off the rails. Oh, I wanted to see if I could eat a glass. Oh, I asked if he could eat a glass.

And I said, and he said, yeah, it would take me a while. And I said, okay, no. I said, if I ground down the glass into a powder and I said, okay. And then bake the powder into a loaf of bread, I could probably eat it. I said, okay, but you have no arms and no legs. And then I said, but what, but you have pincers and what was the other thing? There was a gland. Oh, pincers and a gland that is very desired by, because it's used to make perfume.

And so there's people who hunt his species all the time trying to find the gland and kill him. Including they bred a version of his species that is five times bigger, doesn't have a gland, and sniffs him out. And he had the greatest answer ever. He said, I could probably do it if I was pardoned like a presidential turkey. Yeah, on Valentine's Day. on Valentine's Day. I was parted on Valentine's Day because the gland, they're creating

perfume for Valentine's Day for women. Which is just amazing how your brain works. I would never have thought about that in a million years that you thought of the presidential pardoned out on being a gland. How else would I eat the because I'm being hunted actively.

You're not getting a glass of glass. See, I keep forgetting that the glass is even part of it. It's mostly the most important piece of the puzzle. It's mostly how would you survive when you all these people hunting you for your gland. Then you were like, oh, but what if you evolve? And I'm like, if I evolved, then probably.

If I evolved as a species.