Podcast About List - Ep. 390 - Soccer: Get in the Goal!

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

WORLD CUP, FOOTBALL, FUTBOL, SOCCER, SOCCER JERSEY, FOOTBALL KITS, REFEREE GOALKEEPER, STRIKER, DEFENDER, MIDFIELDER #worldcup Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

No, I'm a completionist. I don't do compilations, bro. That's not my style. We're talking about on cinema. It's the best show ever. I'm a completioner. Somebody took a bite out of my windscreen. Oh, wow.

No, that's been like that. I haven't seen it like that. I think I might have a suspect. Maybe I might have a suspect. Maybe I had a sleeping dream. He was in here with the microphone. He was always dead. That guy was always dead.

That's you in murder investigation. Well, I would love. Speaking of dreams, I had a Joe Boxer. I'm talking. Shut up. I had a... Also, what do you mean? Speaking of dreams. Dream, I dream that I ate that. Oh. And it happened in real life.

What were you saying? I was just saying, I think that us three should go do one of those like Myrtle Beach, like murder mystery dinners. Yeah. I was always... I've always wanted to host one of those. We should just host one. I think you can... Dude, that'd be a great life world show.

I think you can... You can like make it up yourself, which would be fun. But I think you can... They also have, like, you can like get all the, like, scripted stuff and like down, like, You hand out the characters that everyone has to play. I went to one with my dad. It was a very divorced dad sort of thing. Where we went to one in Myrtle Beach.

And it's the funniest thing ever. Because it's a bunch of fat tourists and then five people from the Great Gatsby who are like, So what do you do for work? And then the lights go off and they're like, yeah, someone dies. Wow. Yeah, that would be fun. My Joe Box dream. Okay.

I dream that next season. season? No. I won didn't win a season, but it's like me and him. Well, I'm producer P now, so I don't have to be a contestant anymore. And by the way, we're not in the same category. Yep. We will be soon.

No, not even close. We will be soon. Nope. Once I win the next one, I'm actually going against you. You realize that we're going to have to face each other in battle again. I would literally drop out so that you'll never be able to defeat me. I would win by default. Yeah, that's how you want to win. that shows what kind of player you are, bro.

Shows what kind of player you are dropping out because you're so scared. If I was winning by game fault against you, I would, I would, Sipook, I would kill myself. You should kill yourself anyway. Neither of you would win against the contestant. I had a dream about. Okay, yeah, back to the dream. It was a season.

Don't know, don't remember the context. I just remember this took place in my elementary school gym. Okay. And speaking of gym. Long lead up here. Speaking of gym. Okay, we're having already branching, speaking of Jim. I think I know who it's going to be based on what you're saying.

Oh, okay. I was thinking John Cresensky. Yeah, me too. Jim Norton. Jim Norton is a Joe Puck's contestant. Honestly, he really loved. Yeah, I've been watching too much YouTube. He loved.

Jim Norton and Joe Puck. He loved the game. That is a YouTube shorts and fattened brain. We just saw everything. I saw your entire YouTube homepage. You just did a brain, a brain print on the table. His thing, the thing that. won him the round was that he peed on the floor.

And I was like, whoa, he's really doing something crazy here. And it's in my elementary school gym. And then it was, yeah. You could probably get on the sex offender registry for that. Yeah. Elementary school gym peeing on the floor? Well, not if you rented the whole thing out. Are you sure?

You can rent out schools and have orgies and not get in trouble. Is that right? Yeah. How do you know that? It just sounds correct. I don't think that that's correct. You could rent out a kindergarten. If there's no kids there, you can do whatever you want it.

I mean, clean up. Yeah. It doesn't sound correct. I'm not sure, but doesn't that seem... I don't really... I don't think I'm going to look it up. Nobody should do that. I feel like if you look that up, you get in trouble immediately.

You look that up. Can you? Yeah, probably. And he just looked... On the podcast account. Sex parties are not 100% illegal in the U.S. Are they illegal at all? I think they are if they're in a public place.

I think the question that he was clicking on was a paid, a paid orgy. So I think that you have to pay to get like a, I mean, I don't know. It doesn't really say. Don't they do that? This is one of the few searches I've done on this computer where AI does not show up at all wanting to the search. Wow. The Bradley Scout. Wait, what about that one?

Can you click that link? This is how to plan an orgy. Yeah. From the Bradley Scout. college is one of the best times to have an orgy. The only other time you'll be surrounded by people your age... I basically... I'm calling right here. This is it going to be a satire piece.

You think so? This is a satire piece in a college newspaper. Oh, well, shout out to this kid for making that... Shout out Bradley Scargonic brain sort of work. I mean, this is just going to be funny. Pat Rock. Pat Rock Doran. The Bradley... Can we click on the guy's name?

Well, he writes all of these. Michael Echeveri. Bradley University's student. Oh, it's not even a link. Can you just go to the homepage of this? Oh, okay. Beetlejuice haunts the Peoria Civic Center. Get him out of there.

Get him out now. Where is Bradley? What are you to end up? Dude, I'm trying to go use the vending machines. I'd assume this is Illinois, right? Yeah, probably Illinois. Guys, Jane Walsh was just appointed Vice President for Advancement.

That's a good. Students get their game on. And they mourn the loss of Cameron Paul. Oh, that's kind of sad. Humans of the Hilltop. There's only 1,000 followers. Bum-ass fucking newspaper. But that's on Facebook.

If you are clocking in at 1,000 plus followers on Facebook in 2026, you have next level social media skill. I knew a kid who ran a meme page in high school called Fresh and Spicy Something. Yeah, yeah. And that was... Had like 500,000 followers and they would have like meetings. That was what 30 years ago? Yeah.

So that back then it was Facebook was bit. Nowadays, because the only thing that's getting likes on Facebook nowadays is rage bait for 60 year olds. Why don't we have a Facebook page? Because why? Let's start it and do what with it? Give updates to the fans. Oh, you know, it would be great. Yes, we could make a post that's like my first Facebook.

But I want to go back to the days. We start the account and it's just like pictures of us at the table before we start every episode. New one for y'all today? Do you ever see like a big podcast do they do that? I'm on, I've been on Facebook a lot less recently, but as you guys know, I'm a Facebook fiend and I stay on there. But that is like, like, I mean, if you, if you go on there, like, you're going to see everybody who has a social media following, they are still posting up, like, you're going to see, you're going to see Trevor Wallace on there being like, I got

a new crowd work clip for y'all. Oh, shout out. And then you're also going to see, yeah, huge shout out from me. You're also going to see five posts that are pages called Trevor Wallace official that are not him that are posting pictures of him, like smiling and giving a thumbs up. And you are allowed to do that to us, by the way. Sure. Podcast about List official. We basically, I think we're seeding the territory of Facebook to anybody.

Facebook is open. In all territory in all ways. No, we have a strong presence. Do you remember speaking of Facebook? Do you remember that lady? We shake the room when we walk in the door. Do you remember that lady who is in all the Boston open, like, groups whose name was Facebook Jockey?

Do you remember that? No. I think I have the screen. That is one of the greatest things ever is Boston comedian. If you can apply anybody who's listening, go to Facebook right now, apply to, because you have to join. You have to like apply. Answer some questions. If to answer some questions, join in there.

Boston comedians Facebook page. Everything got like. There's always some crazy drama. But ever since they started allowing anonymous posts. What is that? I looked up this word. I looked up blower earlier. I don't have a memory of this.

This is... As a sexual fantasy becomes the blower. I don't think of ever seen that before in my life. I don't remember what the blower was. What were we doing in February 12, 2024?

I've seen that picture. Yeah. Because you printed out that picture here and used up all the ink on the printer. And then my wife took it home and put it on our fridge. It's still up there. But I never seen the verdict with a text on it.

I found a picture of, I think Patrick's balls the other day. No, it was your balls. I remember this because it was the disposable camera. You didn't know who it was? Yeah, it was the disposable camera. It was the week. It was the week that it was like during COVID.

So cute. I don't, I didn't see it. He was in the picture and you thought it was his balls? No, there's like a, it's like a one, it's like a disposable film camera. Yeah, that was your balls. I remember that. Yeah. You guys remember that?

It was the week that we came down here. We did COVID tests and then we. It's a set of balls rotated with the penis underneath the balls. Yeah. Yes. And the balls just sitting there. I did that. Yeah.

You guys remember. When I did that in your kitchen. Yeah. It was the week that we came here. I think I was standing next to you. Uh-huh. Oh, okay. When you took that picture.

That was the week that... But I didn't see it. I never seen a saw the picture. Do you want me to show you guys the picture? Yeah. Okay. It was the week that we only hung out in your apartment because it was like middle of COVID. Yeah.

Like we need a backlog a bunch of episodes. Yeah. It was when we were doing that, we would do the backlogs in the month. And it was before I moved. I remember. It was a month before, two months before I moved. It was before I moved too. Yeah.

And we would basically lie around. Oh, yeah. my tattoos in this. Yeah. We got Korean fried chicken. Looks like your head. It looks like your head.

That is funny. That is really crazy. Dude, look at you, bro. Oh my God. I was pretty. I'm the just as fat as then. Oh,

I was being happy. I got back to that weight. We were having fun. I got back to that weight. We were having a lot of fun. Yeah. This one. Yep.

Wow. That's when I gave myself the haircut. Good times, guys. Check out that haircut, bro. I gave myself for it. Yep, my balls. No, there's not that much. It was sleepover vibes 24-7.

I'll say that. Yeah, we haven't done to spend the night in some time. Yeah. Oh, we were going to do the office lock-in. Oh, yeah. That was an idea. That was an idea we had the other night is that we do an office lock-in. I'm down for that.

Like in high school. I mean, we locked the gate. We locked the gate out front. And then we all stay in here and we're not allowed to leave. And we get sleeping bags. We get sleeping bags. We all sleep on the floor. And we watch YouTube videos.

I mean, I would do that for sure. That sounds fun as fuck to me. It does sound fun. Yeah. That actually would be the best night ever. I know. It sounds great. We order pizza.

Dude, we get Chinese food. Soda. Dude, a spin the night with beer now you're allowed to do. I know. Yeah. When you were a kid, you were like, this is almost perfect. We just need some beer. You didn't do that in high school?

I mean, not like a bunch of people come and stay the night at my house. I guess I would go to people's houses and do that. I would do, yeah, we would go to my friend Mark's house. I'm talking about this childlike, like, indoor camping essentially. Yeah. Kind of a blanket. We should, no, we should do outdoor. We should set up a tent in the park.

Oh, yeah, we could do that. Well, I think they clear about it. Yeah, you're not allowed to do that. We'd just hide. We could do it on a roof, broad city style. We could easily do it without getting cleared out. When they came to clear something, out, we'd say, hey, we're just camping

out for one night. We're just a bunch of friends. We're not homeless. No, no, we have homes. No, we're just kids. We're camping. We're camping. The police immediately. Oh, right away. Oh, I didn't realize you were camping. Oh, I didn't realize you were housed. Then they had to throw us at a log. Yeah. For the fire. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, gosh. We love. We love awesome. Yep, we love spend the nights and we love housed people. We need to do. And also, let's go to the roller rink sometime. I've been, I've been, I

I was just talking about this the other day. No, not that. Not like an adult one. Oh, like one that... I've never been roller skating in my life and I really want to. I went recently. It's okay. I went in December. I don't like the four.

I like the blades. Yeah, well, I would do either of those. I would love to. I would love to. I never have. I was robbed of a full roller skating experience. In what way? My friend invited me to some party and I went there and I started roller skating.

And as soon as I started roller skating, they were like, all right, everybody, get off the floor. The band's about to start. And I was like, damn. There was like a band there. You got adult swimmed. Yeah. That hurts. I got adult swimmed.

You go to the public pool and they say, the next 15 minutes is adult swim. Yeah. The fuck is a kid supposed to do fucking kill themselves? You sit there with your feet in the water. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's it. That was horrible.

Yeah. That was like the worst thing ever. Or ice skating when they do Zamboni swim. Uh, yeah. Zamboni's turn. It's like, bro. Do drive on the fucking street. That's a car.

We all see it. We all see it. You don't need a turn. I don't care that this guy has been waiting forever. I just want to drive my zamboni across the ice. Obviously it's like a super skate. Well, it's not even, I don't even, I'm not even sure it's a job. It's not a job.

No, it's, it's Zamboni time. Yeah. It's like, okay, now Zamboni's are loud on the ice. So now that's, yeah. Everyone who drive the Zamboni guy at the ice rink, he has the best life in the world. I met somebody who drove a Zamboni. That's the most hated person. in the world.

I thought it was really cool. Yeah. Every kid thinks it's cool. Not me. I was like, get him out. I look at the Zamboni driver at the ice rink the same way that you are told.

No, the same way you are told to look at police officers. Actually, you know what? The same way that I would look at like a firefighter. It's garbage truck. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what, that's... Yeah. These are brave men. When you run to the window to watch the garbage truck go by? It's like if the garbage truck had to come and they were like, the garbage truck gets to play

your GameCube for 15 minutes. I mean, I definitely agree that it's not, I don't like getting off I didn't like getting off the ice, but then when you get on and it's so nice and slippery and clean. Oh my God, this guy just did such an amazing job. This guy is actually a hero that we should look at the same way

as the troops. I think it should be automatic, like most jobs, I think it should be an automated AI sweep that takes one second. You are a you are a pig person. No. You belong in the trash. You belong in a big mud puddle is where you belong.

If you think the Zamboni driver is a bad person, you belong in a pig pile. If it weren't for the Zamboni driver, you'd be flying head over heels. I already do that. I'm not a good skater. Oh, now the truth comes out. Now we know why he's hit the Zamboni driver because he's better than you.

He doesn't ever fall off his truck. I always embarrass myself in front of my little brother's friends every time I go to the fucking skating rink. Because also on the drive over there, I'm like, yeah, I could go backwards. Yeah, I used to be really good. And then we get out there and I'm holding the ledge. And then they give me the walk.

because Alyssa, Alissa Lou, no, you're a whiff of poo. That's right. That's you. That's you.

Oh, that's clever. A whiff a poo. Alyssa Lou. And you have no hair instead of hair. She does have two colors of hair.

Yeah. How the hell does that happen? I don't know. I think, oh, because she's biracial. It was a mistake. Yeah.

She accidentally had that. Yeah. No, we've solved it. It's the biracialness. She got that by accident. she said, can I have one color and at the barbershop,

she went to a barbershop. She went to a 2D barber that thought that she was just flat on the side profile. Can you have two colors? I got you. Wait, did you say one or two colors? I'm always mixing up my ones and my twos.

Two colors alternating throughout the length. I ruined everything. I said two instead of one. I thought you said one tiger. Mm, because it, one color or one tiger style haircut? Ah. That has like,

Hey, can I get one color on my hair? Because tigers have. black and blonde. Yeah. I care. Did you say Tiger? I just finished. I realized I thought you said one tiger style thing.

You said, yeah. That's on me. This keeps happening. I got to get my ears checked because I keep hearing tiger. Did you ever know anybody who got like leopard spots in their head? Not when I knew them. Someone who did it back in the day and then I met them later.

Oh, okay. And then you discovered? Yeah, through like, You know, like, I kind of had that. You kind of had that? Yeah, because my mom wouldn't let me die my whole head. Oh, yeah. Well, let me bleach my whole head when I was like 11.

Mm-hmm. So I got, I had those, basically. Yeah. That's cool. That was a good look. It was not good. Because I also only had two spots, I think. Yeah.

But actually, wait, it was, it was two spots where she was like, you can't put the bleach there. And it looked like I had like a pizza on my head, basically. Yeah. Because it also didn't come. That's not a bad idea for a hair cut. It looked like I had a pepperoni pizza. Yeah. Pepperoni pizza cut is a good idea.

You should grow your hair out. I don't have hair. You should grow your hair slightly out and then pepperoni pizza coloring. Well, the back can grow in. Yeah, but then that's not. It lacks a pizza shape. Yeah, but no, no, you could just carve it in like it's a neon light. You want me to carve into my head.

Not carve into, carve any hair. Carving your hair. That's called cutting. Yeah, okay. What happened to you? No. I think that you are definitely prime for a pizza hairstyle. Dude, if you grow out the back of your hair.

Here's the thing. If you were saying you didn't want it, that'd be one thing. But it's not impossible. I want it. It's not impossible. It's not impossible. Turn your head around and take your hat off. Pizza right there.

So yeah, see this. Okay. So if we can get the, you turn a little bit more so the camera can see. Yeah. So right here, right? I'm thinking because this is as much of a canvas as we can work with. And even see how you could like do kind of around.

And then, yeah. like two pepperonies. You could also do like a circle and then kind of like a Pac-Man slice out of it where it's, oh yeah, that too. There's multiple different styles of pizza we can put on CP's head. Yeah, I don't see the issue. And it could do odors-scented.

Odors-scented? Odor-scented pizza cut. An odor-scented pizza cut? That's what you want me to get? Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I thought you said an odor-scented pizza cut. Should that be my little treat to myself for my 30th birthday? Yeah. An odor-scented pizza cut? That's good. Spendented pizza cut. That's good. Spendent $600 bucks on an odor- sent a pizza cut?

How much would it cost to go to a barber and get something? Yo, I'm going to be straight up with you. I want a pizza in the back of my head. And I want to distinct. You want me to do that? That would be expensive, man. Dude, I think if you were saying odors centered pizza cut,

they're going to know. Do you think I get that as sport clips? No. No. No. You got to go. You're going to, where you're going to get this,

there's going to be a waiting list. Honestly, you're going to, you're going to want to make an appointment now. Do you think we could start a new business that is called gamer clips? and it's got all your favorite Twitch streamers playing on TVs while you get your haircut. Okay.

And you can walk, but then you walk in and we have eight TVs playing Asmon Gold. Do you think people would be mad? Yeah. I think people would go. I think people would go. I think there are a lot of people who watch Asmon Gold that badly, badly need a haircut and are like terrified of a normal barbershop. I feel like that's actually a huge demographic. We actually might be able to do it.

I think that actually would be. Do you see that he's going to turkey, or at least he said he's going to? He's going to get a hair transplant. Yeah, you're going to the fridge to get some turkey. Yeah. Well, his fridge. Jesus Christ. I would love to check the expiration date on that turkey.

I'll tell you that. I bet he does not have a fridge. I'm just realizing this. I think he does have a fridge, and I bet in the door, the getting the hot sauce bottle to unstick from it is like the sword in the stone. It's like so, it's impossible. There's hot sauces that have just been glued to that by some spilled milk. There's ketchup.

in there that has become hot sauce because of the fermentation. Yes. Yeah, yeah. There's that kind of thing going on. He's like, ooh, spicy ketchup. And it's like, no, this expired in 2004. I bet his ice trays are half filled. Oh, come on. That's a violation. Don't go after his ice trays, man. That's a violation, big A. You can't be doing that. You've got to fill those ice trees back. Fill them up with hot water. Here's a tip. Hot boiling water. So you get a light in. Why? Makes them clear. Really? Well, it heavily depends. Heavily depends. But it does make them clear. The actual way you get clear ice is you have to have a big enough thing that all the particulates float to the top and freeze and then you cut it and you take the

stuff on the bottom. Interesting. Wow, that's fascinating. Thank you. How many ice trays are you supposed to have? Yeah, that's a good question. How many ice trays are you supposed to? I have one. I have one ice tray. But I'm not so interesting, clear ice tray. I have five because of how many people have people have moved in with ice trays. You don't get rid of them? Just toss it, bro. No, I'm not going to get rid of them. Do you stack them up? Yeah. Some of them have lids. So then that works too. Why? Well, The ones with the lids are noas. And then he also has whiskey ball.

I guess he probably has some crazy ass ice trays and how I think about it. And then I have two from my old apartment. And then I have two from my old apartment. And make a drink with a ball of ice in it. Dude. This guy's a fucking. Get Noah.

Get real. Get Noah. And be like, damn, I need a drink. Take a ball of ice out of a fucking mold. Yeah. But I've been putting... Express a limel on it. Boiling water in those ice cube trays and the ice balls.

They come out clear, except for the tip. It's a little bit. Yeah, see, that's what I'm talking about. You got to get that. And now he taught me. I bet the heated water gives it more time to for the particular... Doesn't that sound so good right now? Heeded water.

Oh, I like hot water. You know, in parts of the world, they like hot water. Yeah. What part? In, if you go to... Boylonia. Boylonia. They only like hot water.

They don't like... It's like an insult in their culture to give... That's cool. Boyalone. And they say, and they say warm water. you. Warm water? Yeah.

Hello. But they speak, it's a dialect of English basically. It's a lot. It's not different words. No. It's a dialect. Yeah, it's a dialect. Warm water to you.

Warm water to you. They sort of sound like Yoda's a little bit. Warm water to you. Yes. Which would, if you, if you try to do that right, it would be warm water to be. To you warm water. To you warm water. To you warm water.

From bologna. I am. Boil, boilonia. Boilonia. Boilonia. Boilonia. Bologna. is a place in Italy.

Really? Yeah. He seems to be the expert on Italy because he went there. Fuck you. I don't know if that's dumb ass motherfucker. Dude, when you get back from Japan, you idiot, when you get back from Japan, I'm going to lay into you in that same way. And you are going to be destroyed by me.

Dude, the only difference is when he eats raw fish in Japan, he ain't going to get sick. I'm probably going to get sick at least once. You're going to get very, very deathly ill. I hope I don't. You ate a raw shrimp over there. I ate it twice. Yeah. I ate it once and then I got served it again.

Interesting how both of y'all are visiting the Axis Powers. Yeah. That's a good point. Tell me something. Tell me something about yourselves. Dude, the access power, except for Germany. I have no interest in visiting Germany. No, it seems pretty uninteresting.

Yeah. Yeah. Unless you like brutalist architecture. The biggest thing that if you say you're going to Germany, the thing that everybody asks is, did you go to a famous nightclub? Yeah. That's all they got. That's what they have.

A duke- A dukying club? The club where the last level of the club is where people are pooping and shit. You actually have to be cool as fuck. You don't get it. There's a guy who looks at you and says if you can come in or not.

You don't get it. It's awesome. But really, no. I mean, you can get all their food here. Yeah. The food is also not very good. Their culture is drab. Yeah, you get arrested for wearing

like a GTA T-shirt. They all wear round glasses. Yeah, it's fucking stupid. doing this. They were literally they were literally the Nazis not so long ago less than 100 years ago. And now they're Nazis about owning an air conditioner. Come on.

They are. You're not allowed to own an AC over there. What? I just made that up. I don't know. Greta Tunberg style thing. It's bad for the environment. You think Greta Toonberg makes up stuff about the environment? Buddy, you should see this stuff I'm reading on Facebook.

In Germany? Is she German? I think she's like Swedish. Is she not? Well, again. I made that up. Yeah. I'm making up a lot of things that I'm going to just choose to believe. You can choose to believe them. I have no problem with that.

You should have a business card that says Patrick Doran, super liar. That's a good idea. And that's a picture of you. I would love to be... I thought you're going to say Patrick Doran,

I choose to believe. I choose to believe. That would actually be cool. With your phone number. You should get, you should get some business cards. Yeah. We all should.

We should have a business card competition where we have, here it is. Here it is. Here it is. Here it is. Here it is. We each get our own business cards

designed and printed. We go, we hand them out only to strangers. That's the rule. Can't be anybody you know it all. Who gets the most calls? That's good. I'll take you up on that. I'll take you up on that. We got to put it. We got to print the same amount. So, like, you can't just print 50 million of them like I was going to. Yeah.

50 million. I was going to fly a plane and throw them out. This is the next off. Yeah. Okay. The business off. The business off. See who gets the most phone. calls. Yeah. That's good.

I wonder if we could set it up where like we have one hour to hand them out and then we record for an hour and see if anybody gets one phone call in that time. Yeah. You should record the calls that you get. Yeah. Do a Google voice number. Maybe if we all do Google voice numbers, then if it goes to voicemail, we can, we can have those to.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's the only way for it to really work. And just hand them out to just random ass people. Anybody that'll take them. Yeah. Anybody that'll take it.

I think it should be over the course of like a week. Yeah, that's a good idea. When I get back, we're doing that. Okay. The business off? Yeah. All right. But why don't you do it in Japan?

Because I don't want to be doing things like that in Japan. Oh, you get kicked out. That's like Jake Paul. I just want to hang out. It's exactly like Jake Paul. Because the thing about me is something like this, that's going to stress. When we do this, my life is going to suck for a week because I'm going to be thinking about it. You suffer for your art.

I suffer. I suffer. I suffer for that type of thing. You don't have to suffer. I know I don't. That's why I'm not going to do it. You do it. That changes everything. Wait, that just change everything.

Should we get into what our episode is? Yes. Yes, I would say we have a pretty loose concept today, but we have a right direction. But yeah, this basically. We were kind of saved by the bell. Not really, but we were saved by, we didn't really know what we were doing. And then we got this email. Yeah.

Oh, where to go. We got an email from the. Dude. Basically, this came in. Big guys. This came in at 237 p.m. We're recording at 3. We didn't start right at 3, but this came in.

This is from YouTube Creators. Score more views with soccer-focused content. Creators, it's time to hit the pitch, trending opportunity. Get on the ball and go for the goal as soccer gains popularity this month. Upload a video that taps into the global love for the game. There's no better time to connect with a broader community, get discovered across formats, or even be featured on the YouTube homepage. Kick off strong with soccer content ideas.

Not sure where to start. Here's some inspiration on trending content around global soccer culture. So then it has like kind of some ideas. Yeah. Okay. Sweat-proof looks. Create game day makeup looks inspired by team colors that will beat the heat, whether you're a player or a spectator.

Go pro for a day. Take on a legendary player's daily routine. Demonstrate drills, prepare super food recipes, and remember to stretch. Watch party DIYs. Set up the ultimate photo backdrop. Curate spreads fit for a team or create your own merch. Or talk stats. Share your insight on player lineups, analyze plays, and give an inside view of the game.

Now, create merch. Yeah. How is that a video? Well, I have a idea right now. Okay. So you and I, we have graphics on our shirts already. Correct. His is blank.

Okay. That's true. I see where you're going with this. So you want to draw on my shirt? We could make a soccer, I don't know what the teams are. Me neither. I don't know the first thing. I don't know.

I've never watched soccer ones in my life. But it's trending. Yeah, it's trending. So we got to do something about this. And if we just create the perfect soccer merch on his shirt right now. Yeah. We could get on the front page of fucking YouTube, they just said. We probably could draw on my shirt.

I don't know. That's what I thought. That's the first thing that came to my mind once he said merch. Can I tell you guys something? Is this your last white shirt? No. Is this expensive shirt? No.

guys, this is planned perfectly because today I bought a four pack of white t-shirts. I have three in my backpack. No way. And they were six bucks. That's crazy. Wow. It's perfect.

That is perfect. Grab a fucking marker. Grab a marker, dude. I want a number. I want a name on the back. Well, we don't know. So you're doing a jersey. I want sponsors.

Come on. Sponsors. You know, they're always sponsored by the most evil king in the war. I actually don't. All that, know anything about soccer at all. If you zoom in on any sports jersey now for the last 10 years,

it always has a thing that's like, come to Abu Dhabi. Oh, yeah. Or welcome to the UAE. Yeah, yeah. Okay, these look like the, some ones that will get you high.

Oh, yeah. So I want to, let's do some sniffing. Okay, so you got German colors. Okay, so be, be easy on me, but I think where do you want to start? What's your idea?

Give me your concept for the jersey. designing our own jersey. First soccer thing we're doing here. And if you need any pictures for reference, I'll look them up for you. Okay. I'm going just based off memory right now. A soccer jersey.

First of all, they're not usually white, so you might have to fill the whole thing in the red. I just want to throw this out there too. Like, I know we're kind of talking about doing a jersey. We could also just do a piece of merch that is about soccer.

It doesn't have to necessarily be fully a jersey. Like, just kind of a shirt. Like, I think of jersey is still a good idea, but we have options. But on your huge. Human canvas, whatever you want to do to me. Okay. So we're going to start out.

The human shirt. The human shirt. What was the name of the episode that we were going to call this? We'd never discussed. Soccer. Colon, getting the goal. Getting the goal. That was the one I came up with.

Okay. So obviously we're going to start with the number and the name. Okay. This is the most important part of a soccer jersey. What number would you like? What number do you? What's the most soccer number? Zero.

Okay, zero. Yeah, that's true. Ah, okay. What about 0.1? I'm not allowed to chime in? I thought you would already have chimed in by now. This is good. This is like, oh, is Julio talking?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, the most soccer number is actually 10. And I do have a reference for a sponsor like Caleb wanted. Well, I mean, you can throw it up there. But I think we're, I think based on what Patrick is drawing, I think 10. is out of the picture. This is a sponsor.

BJ.88? This is what a sponsor looks like when the... Wait, that's what he's drawing on me? BJ 88, what is that? What is that? It's a sponsor. Who is BJ.88?

Company. That's a company? What do they do? Yeah. It's like a gambling company. BJ.88. Wow. Pat, this looks really good.

Does it? So that's the number zero. Whoa. That looks good. Wait, wait, get back down. Okay. Get back down. I feel like I'm getting a tattoo.

Yeah, this is very, this feels very high stakes to me. Yeah, I really don't want to mess it up, but oh, fuck. You know what we could do? We could auction this shirt off to fund a soccer game. A soccer ball. We could auction it to buy a soccer ball. Yes. Because we don't have a soccer ball and we don't like playing soccer.

No, no interest. So the only way I would ever want to get one is if I had the money from an auction. Which makes anything you buy special. Yes, of course. A custom jersey auction. There's basically no better type of money. After we make this, stand up and look. Turn it around.

Pits, zero. Awesome. After this, can we list this on eBay? Wait, we're doing 0.1? Yeah, we should. Huh? We're doing 0.1. We could do 0.1.

Okay. I just think that's a good number for Caleb. I agree. I feel like I'm a 0.1. You, that's rare to see that number in sports, though. Wow, this is a new type of design for a jersey. Wow.

Yeah, and it looks luxurious because that kind of is reminiscent of the Chanel perfume logos. Oh, it has the little degree. Yes, Chanel number five. Okay, so I got to do the front of the shirt. Do me, man. Okay. What are we thinking?

Can you pull up BJ 88 again? Don't do BJ 88. You can't rip it off. I'm not going to do BJ 88. What team do I look like I play for? Can we do a character? Yeah, we need a logo. Yeah, we got to figure out the logo character.

What about maybe it's like a little hummingbird? Honestly, I just said that and now I'm just realizing that was Benjaminian, what I just said. France 98 mascoti. Where are you, where are you going with this? Yeah, I don't know what's going on here. What's going on, man? this looks like maybe this is eyes or something this is so fucking locked in

this is insane I know but I'm thinking after this we make an eBay listing for this I think it's a great idea we said it first of all we're gonna have to find out how much a soccer ball costs yeah and then that's where we start the bid yeah well we put I would say we started at point oh we started at the cost of 0.1 10 cents and for the for the back of the

yeah and then it's buy it now cost of a soccer soccer ball. Oh, yeah. Well, I don't know. We don't know. It could be 800. Can we look up how much a soccer ball is? Yeah.

I mean, and can you look up premium soccer ball? Yes. I don't want to get a. You know, let's just go. Let's go game played soccer ball. Wait, what is this? That's the mascot. This is a guy's face.

Yeah. Who is that? Who is he? Caleb Pitts. That's the mascot? Yeah. Why would I, the team? This is the mascot's jersey.

What's the team's name? No, you have a face. You need, this is not a mascot, dude. Okay. Then this is... You need a whole... You need like... Can I try and transform it?

Wait, wait, wait, give me, give me, give me. No, stop, stop, stop, stop. Okay, come here. I was going to make it a soccer ball that talks. Look, I know exactly what I'm doing here. We do this. We do this. Oh!

Wait, that's really good. There. The Chelmsford Crabbs. The Cells. The Chelmsford Crabbs. Oh, that's good, right? That's good. The crabs, go crabs.

Okay. Now it kind of looks like a scary. It looks really scary. You said the Cholmsburg crabs? What's that? Okay. That's going to take a while. All right.

So we can talk about something else. Just do a red outline around. This is something important. What's it missing? What's the badge on your chest? We'll get to his chest. We'll get to the badge, dude. Because as soon as we start touching his.

chest, it's, things are going to get, things are going to accelerate. I agree. So we're saving that. I should tell you guys, my nipples get hard at the very first. Is that why you're covering them up right now? As soon as I feel human contact, they get hard like a woman. I'm the only man on earth who has sexually active nipples. Okay, so that, okay, this is really scary, Pat.

A yellow-eyed crab. Do you give him one gold tooth? Oh, that's so. What was that? He poked me for some strange reason. One gold tooth is cool. The middle one? Have you seen any movies lately, Cameron?

Dude, you know what? This has been my fixation for months, but just this, I saw the movie. There. Hocum, where Adam Scott fights a witch or gets scared by a witch. Okay. Just watch this because it just went on to digital. Is it good? And, well, no, just me and my wife have been, the trailer has been playing before every single thing on Hulu. And it goes, presented by Hocum.

And so we've just been saying Hocom in that voice. over and over for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. Did you watch that new scary movie, Mummy, Mummy? No, the Mummy. Yeah, I watched that. Lee Something's the Mummy. Was it good? It was, it was fine. Why did they do that? My theory is that it was an exorcist movie that got changed in development. Because it's 90% It's so weird. It's weird, but it's also

basically the same as his other movie. The Evil Dead Rise. Oh, yeah. It's just weird that they were like, our daughter's gone. She's in a sarcophagus. No, I just saw it. trailer. I was like, this looks insane. It's really, it's really gory and gross. Yeah. I don't like when old people get hurt in horror movies.

What about when old people, well, actually, some old people get hurt crazy in that movie. I know. I could tell from the trailer, I was like, I don't want to see old people. One old woman gets eaten alive. By the kid? By dogs. Oh, hellhounds. Actually, coyotes. Oh, okay. Okay, so you're giving me, it looks like sort of a Sacramento

Kings kind of vibe to badge. And I believe it's on the wrong side. Can you clarify, Julio? Well, we could make that a logo for a company. Can you write NYPD on that? Okay. Okay. Yeah, that is where the Nike logo usually goes. Okay, so this is an NYPD

blank. Yeah. It's a, it's a, it's a NYPD. The New York Police Department crabs. Okay. 0.1 on the NYPD crabs. I feel like this is pretty good. We're getting there. I really like, I mean, it looks good on If you sit back in that angle you were when you kind of see...

You sit in the middle. I know how to fix this. Okay. You get the right sleeve. I get the left one. Oh, shit. What goes on the right sleeve, Julio? I believe it's...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it is sponsors. So it could either be like a sponsor or usually I think on the right sleeve goes the, like the league's logo. The league's logo. Okay. What league is the best one? I'm just going to do my... Honestly, I'm going to divorce from reality and I'm going to just do my thing. Okay.

I hope you guys don't. I'm in the fucking middle, man. I hope you guys don't mind. How does it feel to be in the middle? I've never, I don't think I've ever, I've sat in there. I've sat there. I've sat where I usually sit. I don't think I've ever been in the middle.

This is very strange. All right. This is going to be a new type of thing. You know what I feel like right now? You ever see the videos of somebody they go to another country and they put their feet in the aquarium and they got those. They get eaten by the minnows and eat their skin. Yeah. kind of what it feels like

where I'm not really sure if I'm supposed to talk to you too. Yeah. You are not supposed to talk at all. Okay. I also kind of winged it. I went divorced from reality as well. What did you do?

Let's see. I put the heartogram. The heartogram from the band, him. I figured they could be a sponsor. I haven't heard much of them for a while. I'm almost done. I was also going to,

I was going to say that we should just color in the sleeves entirely. It's looking more like a heart of David. Yeah? No. No, no, no. It's the hard of gram. It's the classic hard of grain. You didn't bring it low enough.

Okay, well, bring it low. Okay, so I just did, I just finished mine. This is kind of a new thing that I think they could probably start. 100% premium T-shirt. 100% premium shirt, checkmark verified. Oh, wow. That's good. So this is pretty good.

You know, I'm liking this a lot. All we're missing, though, is something here, right? Because of the BJ 88. But again, if you start going there, he's going to get really excited. Yeah. So you got to go really fast. Okay, I'll try to go really fast. You have five seconds.

What's the sponsor? I'll time you. Yes. You have five seconds. You have ten seconds to write the sponsor. To draw it as fast as you can. Okay. Okay.

Ready? One second. Let me set up this timer. What is the perfect? It has to be an evil company. It's up to you, bro. I'm about to start the timer. It doesn't have to be evil.

Just any sponsor. Whatever comes to your mind. Three, two, one, go. Eight. Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. It's... Okay, all right, here's what I'm seeing. It says...

Does it say AIDS? No. It looks like it says CDC AIDS and you put... I only had ten seconds. Oh, it's supposed to say McDonald's. Oh, I see. That's actually good. See, the arch...

It really does. The lower case L. CDC... I only have ten seconds. CDC AIDS. Only 10 seconds. You timed me. I had 10 seconds.

Okay? And also, the shirt wasn't, the shirt wasn't flat enough. I tried my best. I tried really, really hard. You're getting excited,

are you? I'm just checking. He's excited. Feeling himself up. I heard him do this. I heard him do this as soon as it started drawing. He got so excited. I didn't get that excited.

You did that. You made that sound. I heard that. They are hard. Do you want to feel them? No. already did. Look at the S.

It's right on it. I felt it. I felt like I was getting poked by a pimple. It kind of like stretched out my shirt on my nipples. It's such a bad shirt. Okay, I feel pretty good about this. I think this is a good shirt.

See, the McDonald's, I made, I made, do with what I had. Yeah, I think you did a good job. This is certainly do.

Can I, can I redo the McDonald's part? No. No, it says CDC AIDS. Because he's going to start jumping after us. Okay, wait, what are you doing now? Oh, it tickles. Dude, be really careful, Patrick.

Be careful here. Is that supposed to be a Nike swoop? I'm not saying, I'm not saying this for me. I'm saying this for you, man. Don't get near my nipple. Oh, my God. Guess how much a premium soccer ball is? How much?

Just no, like guess. Oh, shit. Probably 20 bucks? A premium soccer ball is typically $170. Jesus Christ. For something that you kick? I know. What brand is it?

Adidas, FIFA, World Cup 26, Pro Ball. Oh, that's a ProBall. Do we need a pro ball? Yeah. We need a premium one, don't we? Well, oh, here's Premium Soccer.com. Let's see what they have here. I mean, this one is $200.

Jesus. On Premium Sox. I made it the Nike logo, but then midway through, I also didn't look enough like it. So now it's the checkmark from TurboTax. Okay. That's pretty good. I like that. Actually, this is, if I look at it like this, it kind of, it does a little bit look like a jersey. Yeah, it does look like a jersey. I wish that helped a lot. I wish that we could have colored in the sleeves. Okay, I'm on this website, premium soccer.com and I'm seeing, okay. I saw, oh, here's one that's only $22, but it's a, it's a mini soccer ball.

Hmm. I think, I think we need to go, I feel like a buy it now at 20 bucks is fair. I mean, if you say so, I'm seeing stuff that's $200. But we're not going to buy it. We need a premium price. We need a premium price. You don't want a $200 soccer ball. I say, okay, okay, bidding starts at... Okay, what size?

Size five, size four, size three? Ten, ten, the biggest. What about a chuck-it ultra-ball dog toy? Okay, let's see that. Sounds pretty good. That's for $9.94. I used to have one of those. That is, okay.

That is our bidding, our starting bid. And then whatever the most premium soccer ball price is, that's the buy it now. $19,000. Okay. Well, that's buy it now. Legend Soccer Co. Legend Maitix Beam custom soccer ball $12,000.

Would you buy these? Did you see it? Dude, it doesn't look that cool. Oh, a historical pro ball set for $2,500. Okay. These are, these look usable. Yeah, but even this one looks pretty nice and it's only $20. This is $220.

And just remember, just remember this is to get a premium soccer ball. Okay, you want to take some pictures? of me and send him to Julio and we can make an eBay listing. Okay. And I'll keep doing soccer research in the meantime if you guys don't mind. Just try. Don't smile so much. Is this like a sports photo? Yeah, you're pretty much not going to be in the photos.

But no, no, I mean like look badass. Like, think of it like you're the star player. No, do this. Are your nipple still hard? Yeah. Okay. Now turn to the right. Just getting to see this shirt. I mean, it looks, it's a good shirt. Turn around.

Turn to the left. Oh, yeah, that side. The TurboTax logo is great. I really like it. All right. I'm going to send these to Julio now. And we can make a little eBay listing. Got I save money for a soccer ball.

Yeah, because I don't understand how we're supposed to get to the YouTube front page without a soccer ball. So honestly, this should probably be, we probably shouldn't even upload this. And then this, once we get the soccer ball, we'll make a video that's going to hit the phone page. Oh, that's like, dude, check us out with our soccer ball.

Yeah. Well, I mean, we are actually going to whatever if this sells, even if this, if this sells for any amount, we'll find, well, whatever this sells for, we will buy a soccer ball that is the exact amount. Because as what I was looking, you can basically find a soccer ball for any price point. So we'll just search on Google shopping and check on marketplace. We'll set the parameter. Facebook marketplace. We can even buy it from somebody for an exact amount. I'll go on Facebook. That would be funny if we do it on Craigslist and we haggle to get to the exact. No, we make a posing on Craigslist. Need to buy a soccer ball for $8.30. Yeah.

Are we including shipping? Do you think it's going to sell for that much? That is. That has to include. You think less than 8.30? I think more. Oh, I don't know. I guess it is custom, huh?

It's extremely custom. It's 100% premium shirt verified. Yeah, I guess that's true. And I'm going to. be down a shirt, which kind of sucks. I need to do laundry. That's okay. So I bought these because... It's okay to be down a shirt. Oh, you know what I just realized? This shirt has a brown spot

on it because I bought it and it's a... You pooped. No. All of them have brown spots because they are damaged. Oh. You went to a damaged shirt store? Slightly imperfect? Yes, it was slightly imperfect. You went to a lot less? No, I went to Telco. Look. You can see

on, do you see the brown spot on the bottom? I love Telco. Wait, wait. Should be somewhere on the back. guys, I search soccer. Don't stretch it. It's a high quality shirt, man. You're going to stretch it out. I just want to circle the spot and say, don't worry about this.

Oh, that would be good. Yeah. But we can't find it. We just need to find the spot. I search soccer on Facebook marketplace. It's still loading. There must be trillion. Because of the World Cup.

Yeah. Oh, that's true. This World Cup shot, I'm really getting nervous that it's going to make everything very busy. Yeah. Probably will. Dude, you're worried about that, but then also the Knicks right now. Are you not even worried at all even about that?

Well, that's a different scale. No, but it is terrible. All the bars are like ungo-to-to-able. At the bar that's across the street from my house, I know whenever the Knicks win because I hear a bunch of really drunk guys all singing in New York, New York together. And I go like this, I go,

that's pretty good. The other night I was walking home and a group of guys were sitting on a porch smoking and they went, Knicks in four, and I couldn't hear them. I said, no, thanks. Oh, dude, you were almost killed. And then they said, no, Nixon 4.

And I said, oh, sorry. I thought you said, do you want some 4s? And they were like, they were like, what the fuck is 4s? And I said, it's a drug my gay friends do. Wow, you went deep with these guys, man. I was embarrassed. I was trying to dig myself out of the holes. I tried to make myself sound like a drug addict.

Here's what you're supposed to do. You should have been like, hey, man, fuck you. Yes, yeah, that is good. Shut! Yeah. Oh, wow. This is looking great. Yeah.

Yeah, I did. NYPD X McDonald's. Not podcast about list. It's the Chelmsford Crabbs. Chumsford C-H-E-L-M-S-F. Oh, I like you doing the season in there. That's good. Yeah, that is good.

The Chelmsford Crabbs, 26, 27. X TurboTax also. And this is a size large. Yeah. Oh, we're going to run out of room here. X him. Yeah, I guess put this in the description. That's okay.

Team is NYPD 9. Chelms for crabs. Chelms doy. Chellisem's them doy. Chelms for crabs. Okay, cool. Yeah. Jersey.

It's a size large. The men's large. The brand is Haynes. The brand is premium. Oh, yeah. Actually, do, wait, what does it say here? 100% premium shirt. Yeah.

Let's say premium. Yeah, just premium. 100% premium shirt. That's the brand. Yeah. Shirt real. Color, say various. Suggested white

It's a men's the player Player Caleb is Pits Pits. It's 0.1 Pits That's actually his name. Capacity high. It's a very high capacity. Okay. Capacity. I mean, how many ounces

you figure you can fit? More than 50 ounces. Do you think I weigh more than 50 ounces? And then enter your own California props. Oh, this is stuff that can cause birth defects. This is, wait, wait, mouse over that again. This is the, if it causes cancer. We have to put that in. Yeah. Because it's cancer, birth defects, or other reproductive

harm. You could get cancer in the, wearing the shirt. You might, you easily could get it wearing the shirt. Yeah. Yeah. You easily could get cancer wearing this shirt. We're wearing this shirt. Okay. And we're pregnant. Pregnant also.

Okay, yeah. Prop 6 revoke. Country of origin. This is United States. Yeah. United States. advanced slash tournament. This was the crazy cup. Yeah, the crazy cup.

No, YouTube's World Cup. How about the YouTube Cup? The YouTube Cup? Yeah. Sport is soccer. And then so description is where we really got to cook. 100% real authentic shirt guaranteed.

White T-shirt with vinyl wrapping on it. One white t-shirt with marker... With custom... Custom detailing. With a t-shirt with marker custom details. Detailing. For TurboTax X.

The Band Him, X. NYPD, X. McDonald's, X. Caleb Pitts, Jersey.

X. Krab. X Chelmsford Crabbs. This was game used. Game, game, what episode is this going to be? I have no idea. Game used in a YouTube episode. Games used, Terraria. Games used, Terraria, gone home,

mixed tape. Yeah, what remains of Edith Finch. And that puzzle game for the DS with the guy at the top hat. Professor Layton. Professor Layton's puzzle thing. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know the game's name. If you, you, warning,

wearing this shirt may cause unintended swag. Oh, that's good. And YouTube front page. And YouTube and unintended. And unintended. And unintended. Intention discovered. All proceeds from the purchase of this shirt will go to the purchase.

Towards a soccer ball. Of a soccer ball. of a premium or regular soccer ball. Depending on the price. This is the prank chair I just found out. Yeah, dude, I've been sitting in it just to set you up. You have some kind of like Sith power thing where you sit on this chair

and it like, like how Darth Vader's suit was constantly torturing him. It fits exactly perfectly in the cellular like dimples of my butt cheeks. Is that why he was so evil? Yeah. My God. What was torturing him? Darth Vader's suit was constantly torturing and pinching him so that he would have awesome Sith powers.

Why? That's fucking. To make him angry all the time because anger leads to hate. He's the Hulk? Pretty much. Pretty much. That's so strange. Pretty much black suited Hulk.

Feels exactly right on a hard nippled individual anger leads to hate. Well, okay. All right. Do you feel like maybe this could use like a, well, never mind. What? I would love to have it sponsored by like Kid Cuddy or somebody. Okay, I'll put here. Come here.

Stand up. Where would that go? Stand up. No. I saw a guy yesterday, like a 50-year-old guy with a t-shirt that said, Howdy saved my life. I kind of want that. Okay, brown stain.

I'm going to circle that and say, don't worry about that. And put this in the description as well, don't worry about the brown stain. It's just a little dot. Yeah, it's just a little dot. And it was on, it's on all the shirts in the exact same place. I don't know what happened. Yeah. Usually I can figure out stuff like that.

Like, oh, what happened to this? It made it so defected. Yeah, but if there's multiple of it, it's almost impossible to figure out. I don't even know where this would come from. I'd have to figure this out four times. Yeah. Because like, okay, I know, I figure one out. Great, I got three more.

I'm only 25% of the way to solving the mystery. And can I tell you, this is the second of these shirts that I've worn today. Why? Why? I got Chick-fil-A-Stice that. You went to Chick-fil-A today? Yeah. Dude, you just made me hungry.

Yeah, dude, it was good. My God. Grilled nuggets. Where's the Chick-fil-A at? Which one did you go to? The one on 24th Street or 23rd. In Manhattan? Yeah, dude.

Just kind of a hike from here to go get Chick-fil-A right now. Yeah, there's not too many close by. There's one at the mall. but that mall is a bit of a hike. Yeah. No, the other mall. The Queens Center Mall. Oh, yeah, you don't want to go to that one.

No, I don't want to go to that one. I went to some of the flushing malls the other day. Yeah. They're so many. I like going to the mall. They have the conveyor belt sushi. Yeah, they have that. They had just got that in, well, I say just where they've had it for years now,

but they got that in mass. I feel like you're going way farther than you around my body. And if this bleeds thrown in my jeans, dude, I'm going to be sad. He really is an artiste. Wait, wait. What could he have forgotten? I know. I won't be able to read this one so that I'm going to have to turn around and you can read it.

Okay, let me read it here. Kid Cuddy saved my life. Do not worry. Yeah. What do you say? Do not worry. Under your arm. Yeah.

Right here. That's where the stain is. Oh, I see. Oh, nice. Cool. So now the jersey is actually worth more. Yeah. Oh yeah, let's go back to the list

and we need to feel it. Actually, it just went up in value. Yeah. Can you put that at the bottom? Actually, as I was typing this, it just went up in value. Get your bids in now. And then, yeah, we got to figure out pricing. Yeah, format is bidding.

Like, we need the bidding done on it. I think you can do both. Yeah, you can do both. Okay. Dude, I thought you were an eBay warrior. No, I'm not very good at eBay. Really? Yeah.

I think with auction, I think you can set a bite. I think you can set a bite down. I think it's after auction though. Yeah, yeah, there it is. Yeah. I guess we'll go 10 days. Let's go seven days because then it'll be, maybe we can get our soccer ball by the time. Oh yeah, but the next episode, yeah.

Yeah. So starting bid, 0.01. What if somebody buys it before this even comes out? Yeah, that's a good question. Hmm, that would be interesting. What do you think would happen? I don't really know. We got to make the buy it now high then.

We have to, no, don't do buy it now for two. sense because anybody can buy it actually shouldn't do it by it now. If it's going to be the whatever the soccer ball prices, we should just set a reserve price that is the cheapest soccer ball. Yeah. What does the reserve price do? The reserve prices, it has to hit a certain level. Okay. So what's the cheapest soccer ball that you saw? Fees apply. So take off the buy it now. I think we don't do buy it now. Take buy it now off. Okay. And the starting bit has to be higher. Why? I guess it's going to go five days or seven days. Yeah. All right. reserve price.

Yeah. What's the cheapest soccer ball you can find that's on your screen right now? What's almost going to right now is the top 10 hottest male soccer players. I thought that we were buying a premium soccer ball. I'm going to search premium soccer ball. I'm going to sort it low to high. Okay. And whatever this is, we're going to buy.

This is going to be the reserve price. Sort by price, low to high. This one says 639. Okay. Is this? Is that premium? It says premium, but is it, is it, I don't believe it. It's like a marketing tactic or is it certified?

You know what they're probably doing? You know what they're probably doing is putting the price low so it shows up? So it shows up first. So that's if you buy 10 or more. Okay. So we need one, one premium soccer ball. I mean, it doesn't, here, let's try this one. Here, I feel like Google shopping should, should just close that.

Don't use Google shopping. This says champion. it. Champion sports striker soccer ball. Size five. This looks like you can do one. Okay. How much is this? This is 1099. Okay. 1099. Okay. 1099. That's our, that's our reserve. We're going to go size five. Can you tell me,

is a size five a grown man's ball or no? I don't think so. It's probably for five-year-olds. Well, that's the biggest size. I think seven is like regulation. Seven. Number seven is good. Why? Why are the options 3, 4, and 5 then?

Yeah, we got to get a size 7 ball. I do feel like that's okay. I think 1099 is almost too high for a reserve price. Okay, all right. Well, that's what it's going to be. But it's going to be 1099. I think 1099 is. Reserve price, it automatically goes to the person who bids that.

No. You guys have never used eBay before. No, I understand. I've never sold on eBay, but I understand. eBay is the reserve prices, it won't sell. Oh, until. If somebody bids 1098, they'd, don't get the

ball, they don't get the shirt and we don't get the ball. Oh, so that'd be a disaster. Should we buy this one? With the Apuma logo on it? What the size of it?

That's not a bad idea. What size would that be? That's a very little ball, man. This is size mini. Oh, okay. And that's $15. I want a seriously

Yeah. We want like, like, like, we're going to use it. Game, game. We're going to, we have to go play one game. I want a ball. I want a soccer ball that if we threw it onto,

if we were at the World Cup and we threw it onto the field. They go. Oh, it seems like we accidentally brought two balls to that. Yeah, exactly. Might as well play with this one. That's the ball I want. Hey, guys,

I found it. That's what we could do is we could plant one of us that World Cup is happening in New York. Yeah. We could plant one of us as a referee. And if a ball goes into the stands, we go, oh, yeah, guys, we found it. Oh, this premium soccer ball.

We thank God we found it. They're all waiting. They're all waiting. looking around. Who has it? Come on. We can't start again until you admit. We could make whoever took it as to admit.

Well, now we need to make another shirt that looks like a referee's outfit. Yeah. Well, let's get. We got the black marker. That's easy. It's just lines. Yeah, that's true. I think we have a referee shirt here.

Oh. Oh, yeah, we do. Yeah. So we'll just have you. You, I feel like look the most referees. Yeah. I probably won't be here, I think. Oh, right.

You'll be in Japan. Actually, no, I look the most like a referee. You look like a referee. I look like a referee. Schedule the list. you're going to schedule it for when this episode comes out? Yeah, that's smart. That is smart.

That's really, really smart. Scheduled to go up at noon, though. And guys, don't, I want you to know this is whatever this is bought for. This is Pacific Time, so schedule it for 9 a.m. Yeah. Whatever this is bought for it, that is what the soccer ball is. Yeah, all the money. All proceeds are going towards the soccer ball.

And by the way, we're not going to send you the shirt. We'll send you. You can spend as much money as you want We're keeping the fucking shirt You can dispute it You're not getting it You're not getting the shirt We're taking the money

Buying the ball Yeah deleting the email account Yeah deleting the episode Yep deleting the YouTube channel Everything's going Okay there's a couple of things On this shirt now that

Did you just have to pick up only? Don't set it to pick up only Yeah Wait wait wait we're going to take a new picture because I added stuff. No, it's okay. It's in the description. Yeah. This line just feels a little you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Oh, you want me to do something here?

Draw soccer ball on fire. No, I think I know. I think I have an idea. Maybe if you could draw, let me. Something fill up this area a little bit too. Again, 10 seconds to fill up that. Yeah, give me one second to think here. Okay. While you're bringing up here, I'll have to speak because

we don't want dead air. And that's the curse of a podcast. Okay, I'm going to go. Do you want to count, count? Yes. 10, 9, 8, 8 seconds, 6. Seconds? Wait, 10, 9, 8 seconds.

Just reminding myself what I was counting. 10, 9, 8 seconds. Okay, so what did you draw here? I don't know. Oh, it's like a telotubby. Some guy. Is that a guy being hanged? He's a hang.

The crab is holding a mousse. Oh, oh, I know how to fix this. I know how to fix this. He's being hanged? Okay, you have ten, you have ten seconds. Ten. Wait, wait, wait. Nine.

Eight seconds. Six. What are you doing now? Five. Foe. What the fuck? Wait, what's this? Rival.

Two. One. A rival team. Oh, that's good. He hanging the rivals. The hangman. Oh, okay. Oh, you're ex and out of his eyes.

Guys, we should be professional jersey designers. Well, you guys should be, and I should be a model. You should be professional model. You should, okay, you take this off, right? And then we take a photo of it. Then I send it to a real soccer jersey maker. And they just make it. They just make a reel.

And then that's what we play our shirts in, our soccer ball is in our shirts. Our soccer ball is in our shirts. Well, that's also, I will say that's 99% of what this ball will be used for. Yeah, that's going to be a real big game in the office. And it needs to be premium, too. Yeah, premium ball. Premium soccer ball. We just do this anytime we want to buy anything.

We should just do a shirt auction to buy. But this is specifically soccer related and we're hoping to get, I'm, now that we're. Honestly, can I say something? I just hope that this, this price doesn't go too high. Yeah. I'll feel bad if it's. Because what if I'm a soccer ball are we going to buy?

I think if it goes too high, we'll cancel the auction. It goes above $25. Because even though it's like, okay, it's somebody's own will. This shirt should. Here's my humble request. Please only increase the bid by $1 maximum. Okay. Nobody, if this shirt, it goes over $100, we will not.

If it goes, if it goes, if it goes, if it goes, if we just have to buy a game, a game worn ball. No, I just not laid a ball. That is so funny, though, if it was expensive, if we just have to buy the most expensive soccer ball. Yeah. I'm torn. I'm torn. It is, I also, that's a lot of... I guess it's people's people's own decision, I guess. Yeah, whatever happens happens is all we can say.

Case or us are we still live by. Yeah. What are we going to do for the thumbnail for this one? It's like going to be a soccer ball. Soccer ball. Oh, yeah. What am I stupid? This one seems like pretty clear cut. Yeah, this is a clear cut case of podcast. One of you ever worried about the thumbnail? Yeah.

Do you want to make the thumbnail this time? I'm picturing it. Sure. I'll make a thumbnail. I'm picturing the front page of YouTube. Just because you were afraid of what it was. Now you have to lock in, bro. You have to make the, I'm just thinking what's going to look best front page of YouTube?

Because we're going to be featured in some side of collection. This is going to get us front page? Or do you think once we get the ball, we're going to get French page? French page. Or do you think both? I feel like I'm not going to lie. This is,

I mean, this is no shrimp off. But this is, we're pushing the limit a little bit here of, of, of podcasting by designing a real soccer shirt. A real shirt. On air.

So I feel like, I feel like we got to get rewarded by YouTube a little bit for that. Yeah, I would hope. I mean, I'd hope they'd, you know, throw us a bone. And we're becoming more mainstream. Oh, yeah. That's what I've heard.

We're getting more mainstream recently. So I think with the, with that combination, we're going to be front page. Yeah. Soccer, mainstream, two of the big things nowadays. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm feeling that, man. Soccer and the mainstream. Two of the most popular. All right. Well, we'll see how much this goes for and how much we buy this soccer ball for. Is there anything else?

I don't think so, yeah. I send someone a security code so I can go live with the auction. Oh, yeah. Who did you send it to? I wonder who. Probably me, I would guess. Oh, was it just to the email?

Or? I don't know. What happened? All right. Well, anyway, that's our episode. Yes. I hope you enjoyed it. And well, there really isn't anything left to do,

but for us to go eat some food because I'm a little hungry. Let's get steak o' plove. Let's get some steak o plave. The creme de la creme. Bye. So I stepped on the scale this morning and I weighed two pounds more. Guess it was just my Walter White. Wow.

That's good. Yeah. I lost a little Walter White. Walter White. Walter White. Walter White. Oh, that Walter White. Walter White.

My juicy is pink man. I saw a juicy pink man on the street. Mike did. Mike Irm. Mike. Mark. And Trout. Oh, and Trout.

My Kerm. My Kerm and trout. My Kerm and trout. My Kerm and trout. My Kerm and trout. What's for dinner? My Kurn and Trout. My Kerm and Trout.

Mike, Mike Kern, my Kern. Hul. Hul. What's all good, man? Oh, that's good. It's all good. That one is good as right there. Yeah.

Yeah. What is Hules' last name? Babble. Babineau. Babbinot. Oh, yeah. You are a Hul Babbinot. It doesn't mean anything I said that.

Oh, Hugh Bapeno. Oh, your Bapeno. Oh, you're Bapeno. Oh, you Le Lillipino. French person. Hugh Lill little Bapeno. You a little Babino. You'll be below.

You'll be below. You'll be a bit no. Bebeino. But two babino. Big cigar. And I have the graves keeper. Oh, you may be screwed. But you babinor.

You, baby, hold down. You, baby, no. And you have two co. To co. Salamanca. You have two co-salamanka. Two-co-salamanka. Two-co-cosal, man.

Hector Salamanca. Is there one name Hector? Yeah, dude, that's his guys. Oh, okay. The twins. That wins. That wins. That wins.

That wins. That wins. That wins. That wins. The twins. Ah, yes.