Podcast About List - EP. #391 - The Gross Out Queen and The Two Little Pranksters ft. Edy Monica

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

Watch Edy's special on veeps! and follow her also.Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Well, is that thing is hard sticks. Is that the word? Hard sticks for one. I'm sure you've been around this. You've been all around film sets. Hard sticks. Yeah. Oh, come on.

I bet I'm around two right now. Jesus Christ. Not to, I wait, wrong one. I bet I'm around two big hard sticks right now. Oh, fuck. They're coming out of your pants. Oh, no. Why are you sending me disgusting emojis?

Why do you have disgusting emojis? Yeah, wait. What are these disgusting emojis? I love them. Are these like the new? Edy has like pervert emojis. I have endless emojis. That one I sent with the...

This one of the dick and balls. Yeah. That's not. I've seen that one. This one is disturbing. That one's my favorite. No, the guy who's like this.

Shadow of a cock. It's been really good. Shadow of a cock on this guy's face and he's really worried. That's awesome. I've never seen that one. See, I didn't, I didn't think of it as this. It's more scary to me.

Like, he's really worried about it. Oh, yeah. He's worried about how big that. Oh, you thought I was saying he's reaching for it. Yeah, when you do that, well, when you reach for it, it makes a scene like he knows what he has to do and that's why he's scared. So what situation do you imagine this guy's in where he has to do something? He probably went home late at night. He's a girl coming to a podcast studio.

Also, you can tell that there's a condom on this. Oh. Yeah, there's a little tip. Or that's just what emoji penises look like. No, because I have, because I know what. Oh, yeah, you have photo. We have one. They actually have a large head.

The other day Our friend Brian Like fell asleep with his phone in his hand And he accidentally sent that to like a group chat that we have We had the whole emoji Oh wait at the one where he's flipped upside down Oatsy but with an emoji guy And he fell asleep on his phone and reacted

He's spreading it? Yeah Yeah I haven't seen that one I'd love for you to send it to me please I don't know if I can find it because I covered it up Yeah Some people get mad Yeah

You notice that you notice at both times zero reaction out of me. Just disgusted. The thing is, the one with the shadowed penis, I sent that like 15 times in a group chat and no one answered, so I just keep...

I send until I get a reaction. Is that a sticker or you download some pervert keyboard? Yeah. Sticker. I never use the stickers. I can't get it open. Oh, you have to get into it.

I don't know how to do it. I have this one. Oh, there it is. I have to move this the Caleb sticker out of the way. I have that one. You have that one? That's not gogoosey.

No. It's not. It's not. Stretch. He's just showing the hole. Oh, okay. It's not that goes. It's not gaited. Goatzy seems like something that you probably saw when you were younger. Absolutely. Sent to everyone. Send to everyone. Invite to my party.

You did Facebook events with the Goaty. Oh, yeah. Lemon Party. Lemon party was never that gross. It's just old guys being gayed to each other. I don't see what's so gross about it. Did you ever do, you put five key? in Google search and then you hit the button, I'm feeling lucky. No. That was like, I don't think it works anymore. I'm feeling lucky isn't a thing anymore.

I'm feeling lucky. He's gone. Really? Probably went away in 99. No, no. Yeah. QQQQQQ. QQQ.

I'm feeling. Can I just search? I'm feeling lucky. I don't think they have it anymore. Maybe if you look it up. It's definitely gone with dictionary. It was amazing. It was amazing.

Dude type QQQQQ into Google and hit the I'm Feeling Lucky button. It used to take you to this awesome website. What's the awesome website? I don't know. What was it? So basically it was five videos all right next to each other. The first one was a guy who had a rubber band around his dick and balls. It was purple and he's holding it on a counter and he has a hammer.

And he's just hitting it with a hammer. The next one is a penis up close that clearly had piercings. down the shaft and he's sticking AAA batteries in his hole and you see them go down. The third one, I don't, I only remember this last one. It was a giant gaped hole and a fist was punching in and out of it. That's how big it was. I've seen, I think I've seen. I think I've seen.

I've seen something like that. Something like that. You ever seen the one of the guy in the guy's a power drill and you go. No. No. I have to see that one. It's nasty. I loved all of that.

Oh, yeah. E-fucked. Yeah. All that stuff was. so funny to show people in middle school. E-fucked. Oh, I was in college. At some point,

E-fucked was just like, people would just get like, it was like punching and stuff. And I wasn't as funny to me anymore. When they would punch, it would be like, when it became fighting stuff. Worst day of her life.

And it was like, punching somebody. It's not really, that is not so fucked to me. No. It's not like. I think it's fucked. It's fucked.

It's not like E-Fucked funny. There's no poop. You want the poop? Yes. Cake farts. You remember that one? Fartz classic. Did you see the one this woman does a wine enema?

No. She's all fucked up. Because it can get you drunk. She gets really fucked up from, she does a full box of wine. Enema didn't hurt. Oh, God. In her ass. I guess the box of, because it's just a bag on the inside.

Mm-hmm. That's easy to squeeze, man. Yeah. I never did. I've never done a booing of any sort. Me either. Never put anything. Although I remember my mom had to put when I was, I had to have some steroid when I was a kid.

for baseball. For baseball so you get stronger. I remember she had to it was a rectal. She had to put a pill up my ass. But I was like, honestly, guys, I was like 10 years old. I was way too old for her to be putting the pill.

My mom would be putting cream on my ass. If I need it on my ass, and I'm at my mom's house. You have hands in an ass that you can reach. I know, but it's like a, like, we're going back in time to like when I was her baby. Oh, okay. You could do it.

And we're laughing. It's not so funny. your mom touching your ass. We're really close. Yeah. I don't know that my mom, I don't know that she would even recognize my ass. Yeah.

Yeah. My ass has gotten. Well, you have a tattoo on it now. No, I do. Is it of a face like this? No.

No. It's his own face on his butt. No, it's not. No, that would be an amazing tattoo. And my face on my asshole. So either way.

That's good. You could do the South Park, put food in your butt. Yeah. Yeah. comes out of your mouth. Yeah, I could do that. That would be a great E-Fucked video. That, of that, some guy getting his own face

tattooed on his butt, the mouth is the butthole. Put a carrot in it. Yeah. You really so quickly that would get debunked to though these days. True. You can't do that. He had the poop in his mouth the whole time. It can't actually poop. I think, I still think that two girls, one cup is very disgusting. Yeah.

I've talked about that. I mean, these are all disgusting videos. Some of my cake farts are not disgusting. Cake farts made, it had, it gave me a boner when I was a kid. Okay. I liked it. Let's unpack that. It's a fucking woman's ass. Okay, but she's putting food on it.

I don't care. It wasn't poop. It was chocolate cake. It was chocolate cake. It did have a little bit of a poop. Look. I remember showing that to my wife, my now wife. We were like 16 in a mall parking lot.

I think we've been dating like a month and I was like, you ever seen cake far? She said, no. And I showed it to her. She was like, it's not that. that funny. I'm going to marry you someday. She looked at me so lovingly. Oh.

Wow. But we don't get videos like that anymore. Because I feel like they don't, nothing sticks around like those videos did. No, those videos were huge. We're like, even people, my brother, my older brother watched the same videos like that that I ended up watching.

Yeah. And then now they're around 30 seconds. It was like your older brother. Yeah. Or an older friend's brother. Mm-hmm. Would show you is like, check this out. This is called me.

Yeah. And we'll spin again, not that crazy. Not that crazy. Not that crazy at all. I would get pretty performative when kids would show me that at sleepover. Let me be like, oh, wow. Oh, dude, fucking caught. I remember my friend's older brother.

It's just a cop. Yeah. Who cares? Yeah, it's just a penis spinning. Yeah. Makes me sick. Oh, dude. Get that out of here.

People who like that should be dead. No. I watch that with a vagina, but not. I wish she was a vagina spinning around. A woman is spinning around. Oh, I wish she was a vagina spinning around. Because I ain't gay. Because I ain't gay, y'all.

But he tricked me. My friend's older brother tricked me because he found, there's a reverse Google. There's Lgoog where I remember Lgoo. And he said, look up, look up, nip steam. Oh. And then click, I'm feeling lucky. What was that? Meets spin backwards.

Nips v. Nip steam. Yeah, reverse meat spin. I click it. It's that. It's gone the other way. It's gone the other way. Clockwise.

Australian toilet style. Yeah, yeah. I still kind of believe that. I got to go debunk that at some point in my life. It's true. It's real. It's not, it's real. It's under the equator.

It's a Simpsons joke. No, no. It's not a Simpsons joke. It's a real thing. It is real. Why would that be? I know. Why would that be, guys?

It's real. The gravity is the same on Earth. No, it's different completely. It's the same in Australia as it is on Earth. No, but when you're in, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, here. So we know.

Oh, you put it on. That's AI. That's AI. Yeah. I don't trust that. We don't even pull it up if it's AI. Down, MF. This is on motherfucker.com.

Yeah. Yeah. You see that? That motherfucker's trying to play a joke on you because it's real. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay, we're not finding out a lot of it. We're kind of creating a collage here.

Yeah. All right. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. So, guys, do you want me an apology? So you want me to be, so your Reddit ass wanted him to pull up Reddit.

Yeah, it's better than the AI thing. You do? Yes. When did girls find out? about Reddit. This year. Really? Yes.

I wonder that sometimes. No, honestly, I went on, I had an account a few years ago, and it's obviously, you know, a pseudonym, fake name so nobody knows. And I had a lot of, like, I was posting on like R slash relationships, like a lot of real things I was worried about, about cuckly thoughts. Interesting. And I got some really sweet people who responded when I saw it. I was like, I need to leave these.

Like, this is insane. Yeah, this can't exist anymore. Hey, guys, so, like being, it's embarrassing. Well, because everybody taught, there's no, there's no writer's voice if you're writing something on Reddit. It just becomes, everything is written the exact same way. Yes, it's one person. Yeah.

It all seems, it's completely homogenized if you tell a story on Reddit. But now it's the only place to get real information. That's what you have to Google whatever you actually want, Reddit, and then you get sent to whatever. They trained, like, all of the LLMs on Reddit speak. Like they trained all the, like the, like the chat, GBT, like Claude, like all of them. are trained on the way that like Reddit, like I think the Reddit API or some shit. So that's why whenever you ask something,

it's like, yeah, well, uh, you could do that. Like, you know, like the whole, that's what I heard. I read that somewhere. This feels true, but it also on motherfucker. On motherfucker.com. Yeah, on motherfucker. It was on motherfucker.com.

Reddit was, uh, something that I was really surprised when girls started saying, yeah, I used Reddit. Me too. That was like a, that might as well have been a just a little boys website. Well, I still don't under, the interface is hard to navigate for me. It's not a very good website. Like, it's hard to find where to go on there. Yeah, I think you do have to kind of use Google. Yeah. And then they redesigned it, I remember some years ago, to make it look worse and it

became an even worse website. Oh yeah, the original, yeah, the original layout was just all what did you do on the internet when you were a kid? Homestarrunner.com. Oh, did you go on there? No, I'm older. Didn't do home star. Did you? I didn't do it. You would have loved it. I know.

You are Homestar. I would have gone crazy on it. Oh my God. I know about Strong Bad. Strong bad. Yeah. They made some video games. We are strong bad bitch.

He's strong bad. I'm a home star. I knew about Trocdor. New grounds. New grounds. New grounds. You ever go to New Grounds at the A.O. section? Wait a second.

Was that sex? Oh, yes. That was really, really. That was where I went. Yeah. That was where I would go. I was in a lot of chat rooms. I was looking at a lot of pornography.

Really free-raint. My grandma had a computer in the living room. Nobody's checking on me. Did you ever get that thing, though, where they added search history, so your grandma would type W and it would auto fill people getting fucked up. They didn't know how. They didn't know how AOL. They just assumed to test what the computer did.

Oh, okay. They're pushing this shit now. Oh, the whole computer's friggin' porn. God damn it. My dad's computer just became his whole email because, like, the email was in the browser. on AOL just was all porn stuff. My dad was like, what is going on with this? It's like, I don't know.

That's nuts. I broke, I got in trouble when I was a kid because I watched porn and then the search history, I didn't know how to delete the search history, so I destroyed my family computer. Yeah. And I got big. What do you mean? Like went on the back of it, you know, the back with all the ports and stuff and

just took a butter knife and stabbed it, destroyed it. Yeah. And then they sat me and my older brother down because they thought that he did it. And they were like, you guys, you can't look at pornography on the computer because they got the computer back. And it was the same computer. So it just had all the, all the porn still on it. Fuck! Yeah.

I got a computer in my room in fifth grade. Oh, my parents just like, never, never, never. So I was doing whatever I wanted all the time. Yeah. Meets spin. Yeah. And I loved collecting stuff like that and like having it to set, like similar to the stickers. I haven't changed at all.

Yeah. Like I loved being the person who. had like the dark nasty nasty stuff. Yeah. Computer expert. Did you ever watch where to find the craziest stuff?

Did you ever watch the killing videos? Were you into that? Yes. I watched that. Oh, I hated that. I didn't like that either. I didn't like that either.

But I would still, I would watch it like this. I remember three guys, one hammer. I was reading about this the other day. No, I don't know that one. Those guys killed like 20 people or something.

They filmed that one. Yeah. Yeah, that one was crazy. It's like two Ukrainian kids who, they, they, filmed, they did, they killed guys for like four days, just random people, just walk up to them, just killed them in the middle of the day.

And they filmed it. They filmed like a pilot episode and that ended up being online called three guys, one hammer and they killed a guy with a hammer. Whoa. They killed the guy with the hammer. My friend's older brother showed me that when I was nine. And I just remember, I just remember being like, this one's not funny. Yeah.

Go back to the gay thing. So we have the gay stuff again. I like that gay stuff. I like that gay stuff. Nah, nah, I ain't into this. Show me that gay shit. Show me that gay shit back on my computer. And I didn't like the animal sex either.

No, Mr. Hand. Animals is terrible. No, it's not. You cannot have sex with animals. Yes, you can. Really?

I had no idea. Tell me. You don't have to penetrate them or have them penetrate you, but you can let them lick you wherever they want to lick you. If they're showing you, no. You can't do that. Yes, you can.

Why? Because why not? Because it's wrong. They're an animal. They're animals. They have fur. But is it a consent thing? Yeah.

I don't give them a fuck about a dog's consent. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. Lick himself. He can lick his own penis. It's okay if you're dressed up like a dog. And then my penis is dog spit on it. Yeah.

You wash. They eat poop. I don't eat poop. I don't know what to tell you. But you're okay with that. That's something that's something I grew up with. Because of that, I can't let it go. It's a part of me.

I don't know what to say. And there's a lot of people out there like me. I know. There's people who fuck, who have sex with dogs. Speaking of, I saw an amazing furry yesterday. You saw what?

Incredible furry yesterday. Oh, yeah. At a skateboard event. It was a go skateboarding day at Brooklyn Banks. There was a guy. He had a tail. And then on his board, he had two tails.

drawn on and he was doing these amazing tricks he did a a stale fish down this stair set i think it's explain um this is a trick where you are you grab like the back and you go like that like stale fish and then he landed it and then when he landed he rolled away and he went it was this dude people lose their minds no no one but me do what everyone is just kind of there like losers and i was like were they jealous I'm jealous of how free what kind of animal was you dressed up as a fox what color

what the fox that shit was yeah that was amazing I'd like to go back then oh yeah Obama re-election my mom's all pissed off about Obama being reelected but then

what does a fox say comes out completely forgets about everything changes her mind her life forever dinner got good again You had you had late in life liberal parents. I did. My mom, when my mom,

when Obama was reelected, my mom, I walked downstairs and my mom said, hey, she had welcome to the U.S. S.R. And I was like, I was like,

my mom, I'm 15, 15 years old. I don't get what fuck. Yeah. But when did she change? Trump. So four years later,

my mom is like, my mom is like so annoying about politics now. I mean, so was my, I didn't grow up with any politics at all. Didn't, or like Democrat leaning, but they didn't talk about. I didn't know anything. And then 2020 happened. And my mom is like, oh, I'm as liberal as they come.

Yeah. Yeah. My mom is like, hate Trumpers. My mom is sending me fucking Pete Buttigieg doing hot ones and shit. And she's like, you should meet him. She's saying shit like that day. She thinks that because I live in New York City that I'm like, I'll just be like, Oh, okay, I'll meet Pete Buttigieg.

Yeah. He's in wherever he's from. Mm-hmm. I got to find that there is an amazing, amazing text for my mom about, well, his mom's like, his mom's like pretty much QAnon. She's realer than most. Trish? Yeah.

She is completely QAnon, QAnon, Qaeda. Damn, is that hard? No, it's awesome. You have, you have like liberal parents. How much better is it to just be like, oh, that's hilarious. Yeah. Or just, no, because it's like, it's like, man, she's a lizard, whatever. All the text are deleted.

That is so much better to me than my mom sending me like like pictures of like AI pictures of Greg Abbott in jail in a wheelchair. That is hell. My mom's not on AI though. That's the one thing. The one thing that's good is I think she's, I think she might be getting tricked by AI video, sure, but she's not making AI stuff. Which she totally could be. Oh, yeah.

Well, I think that's a little bit of a gap. Like that's a, that's an information gap that she has. Like she knows one app download away from sending you a picture. you as a chef. I wouldn't like to see it. You'd look good as a chef, man. Look amazing as a chef, actually. You kind of have, I wouldn't be surprised

if you had a long knife tattoo. There was really a lot of decisions in my life that thwarted me from that. Probably actually general laziness. One, not a hard worker. I was going to say, not a hard worker. You're not. You're working in your songs over there.

This guy, it's a hard worker if it's something I can do on the computer. This is the first job he hasn't been fucking fired from. Yeah. No, I was never fired or I was quit before. Really? Mm-hmm. I always quit before.

You didn't quit Cracker Barrel. I quit. No, I quit. I quit the barrel. You did? I walked up to my gay manager, Paul, only gay guy in New Hampshire, basically. Yeah. The gay guy, little kind of short gay guy with a bow tie.

Put the voice on, he'll be Paul. Okay. This is how it went down. I walked up to him, I said, I got it. Oh, hey, sexy. What's up? Oh, hold on. I got to get these fries out the prior. They said you can't say that anymore. Say what?

But I don't mind. That's real shit. Baby, what do you want to say? I have a little mustard on your head. Let me look that off. It's not mustard. It's actually eggs. I work as the dishwasher in the cracker barrel.

I love eggs. So gay. Yeah. Yeah, every gay guy is a predator. But our time here is done. I have to go. No, please, no, don't go. I love looking at you.

Well, you know what? Love watching you go. Oh, that's what they say. I'm going to get egg on your face, on your butt. Okay. Egg white, that is? Is that pretty much how it went? Yeah, it's pretty much exactly how it went.

I can't believe you stayed at the job that long. This guy's sexually harassing you. No, no. I'm going to get white egg on your face. It's such a stretch, too. No, it's completely chill. It was complete day. That's just how they do it at Cracker Barrel.

His name was Paul. His name was Paul. The first gay guy I ever met was Paul. It's a classic gay guy name. Really? Is he gay? No, but sometimes he dresses it. It's my brother's name.

I'm joking. I'm joking. No, it is kind of a gay name. I think Ryan is a pretty gay name. Ryan's pretty gay. Ryan. Chase. Chase.

Chase. Oh, Chase. My old roommate, Chase. Oh. Yeah, really? I don't think I've met Chase. Really? Yeah, I don't think so.

Unless I have. The first gay guy was Paul. It was named Paul. He was a hairdresser and my, he did my hair and my mom was like, my mom and stepdad were talking about how he was gay. And I was like, he's not gay. Like, I didn't even know what it meant, but it sounded like bad and I really liked him. You didn't know like gay kids when you were a kid where you were like, this kid is definitely gay.

Oh, definitely later. and they were all my friends. Of course. There was one of my mom's coworkers. One of my mom's coworkers. I'm a hug. One of my mom's coworkers was gay, but I didn't, I was like eight or nine. You know, you grow up and it's like, oh, you're not, like, gay is bad.

Yeah. And then. For boys. For boys. Yeah. For boys, it was like, dude, that's the worst thing you can be as a gay guy. I know. And I was like, like, meeting him the first time.

he's like showing like I think it was yeah because he was my babysitter's friend who was also my mom's co-worker and he was showing us like follow-up boy music videos or whatever so cool and I was like what are you guys talking about he's not gay he's just cool yeah he's the best yeah he's on the cutting edge of culture he's just a cool guy meanwhile he's got like he's walking like fully like yeah that's fallout he was awesome though he had like the sickest like pop punk tattoos. Like he had like that, what's that album cover? It's the guy looking in the mirror and the guy's on fire in the mirror.

You know what I'm talking about? No, I don't know about that. That one is sick. He was like, yeah, I just got this. I was like, again, coolest guy I know. Music tattoos are amazing. If you get an album cover tattooed on you, you're amazing to me. Album covers.

But nobody's doing, people do album covers all the time. Nobody ever gets a movie poster tattooed on it. People do. And it's pretty bad. it's pretty bad which one have you ever seen Julio pull up Jaws poster tattoo

Oh well that's obviously But nobody that you would ever Has got to be The musical That'd be cool John C right back tattoo Big back tattoo John C Riley in the middle

Mr. So sick Because that isn't it I haven't seen I've seen the first 20 minutes seconds of it basically I can't even It's the best movie

Everett My shirt right now And I had a downsizing poster On that'd be That'd be a movie If it's a movie poster It's got to be

The life of pie. Yeah. Like something like that. Michael. Yeah. Jean Travolta, Michael. I got trouble for watching that at my dad's house.

Jack. Ooh. You're the only other person on this podcast who when I bring it up knows about it now. I know. Really? Jack's about a, he's a baby man or something because I told you. Yeah.

And I've seen the intro scene. I would have sex streams about his best friend in the movie. Who's a kid? But I was a kid when I saw it. It was age appropriate. Yeah. And I want to fuck a dog. No, just

No, just tongue stuff. Just tongue stuff like a dog. I mean, I guess I kiss my dog. What's so different there? I don't kiss your dog, so I don't know. Well, you don't kiss my dog. I guess that's true. I don't really kiss any of my animals in my life.

I don't kiss my dog, but he does stick his tongue in my mouth all the time. Yeah. I'm someone, I'm like kisses, like on the lips. Yeah, I don't care. I love it. I don't want. It's funny to blow a raspberry on an animal. I get that my dog eats his own shit.

He's eaten, we've been out walking. He's eating like heroin shit that was sitting in like a tennis court. He just takes a big bite out of it. I, nothing will ever stop me from letting him lick my face. Yeah. That's part of having a dog to me. It's so sweet. I let, I got in a bike accident and I had this big open wound. You saying I let and we're talking about dogs and you uncross your legs to mine that was a little worrying to me for a second.

This isn't that. Okay. All right. I had a cut on my knee and I genuinely, this was way too old to think this. You know how they're like dog saliva is cleaner. Oh, yeah. I was like, that's true. And my dog was licking the cut and it felt so fucking good.

And then the next morning, it was like green. Green yellow, white covered. I was like, what the hell? I had so many of my scrapes look like that as a kid because I didn't like band-aids. You aren't either. Do you eat scabs? No, I never ate a scab, but I love to pick them. You eat scabs?

Yes, everything that comes off. I'm like. It's okay to eat scabs, though. I'm not grossed out by that. You know, my boyfriend eats boogers, so I've gotten like a little bit more into it. Yeah. Are you eating his boogers? I've eaten, this is really bad.

Yeah. Do you know what millia are? It's like when you get like a little white dot like under the skin, you know what I'm saying? I ate his millia. Why? And he gets, because I like it, dude. I don't know what to tell you. I like like pasty.

I'm sorry. No, it's okay. No. I mean, we asked you to be on, I know you, I know what I was getting into. I don't want, or like, I don't not want to be this way, but like, it's just, it is what it is. It is who you are. Yeah. I like it.

You know what I do though? I'm just trying to stop, but I bite my fingernails. But I don't eat the skin. You bite your toenails. No. I do. Foot to my mouth. I can't reach.

Uh-huh. That's right. To my mouth. That's right. Foot to my mouth. I got an infection, though, recently because I did that and then didn't like, because again, bite your toenails. I bite my toe nails. I bite my toenails, yeah.

Do you bite your fingernails? Yeah, all the time. Oh, really? Do you ever watch toenail infection videos? Yes. Shut up. Uh-huh. Oh, I have a new person then.

Yeah. My entire feed now is all ingrown pus. I have, I had that. I just popped it. I popped it the other day. Do you have a picture? No, I didn't take a picture. How is it doing?

It's doing a little better now. I believe I could be a doctor. I think you have the stomach for it. Although, I would be a little worried if my doctor was eating burgers. Where was it? This was there. It was there. It was pus.

I wish I could have seen it. Do you watch like popping videos of cysts and stuff? Yes. Oh, I could remove a cyst with my eyes closed. We tried to remove the sack. When I was in high school, we tried to give my friend's dad a cyst. We kept telling him, like, we told him it was healthy to wear sweaty shirts. Yeah, we were like, because we were watching those videos of sebaceous cyst being popped. We were like, oh, dude, I wish your dad had a cyst because he definitely let us pop it.

But he never got one. Never got one. But he said he was prone to them. And we were like, dude, get a cyst man. We wear sweaty shirts. Don't shower for a couple days

and we can pop it. Yeah. I've seen a lot of ingrown hair. I've seen a lot of ingrown hair popping. Those are fine. The ones where it's like it pops and then they pull the hair out too. Do you know Izzy Galindo?

Yeah. Okay. I love Izzy. We barely like I've met him maybe a handful of times. Yeah. He is number one on my Instagram send list.

We send each other. the most disgusting things on the planet. I think I was in a, yeah, I was in a group chat with him that were just sent shit like that

all the time. It's amazing. He sent, sometimes I'm like, dude. Well, he's an effects artist, so it's like,

he has a study, this is work. He has an alibi. Yeah. You don't really have the alibi. Yeah. No, I just like it. You just have to be like,

I like nasty videos. I love, I love infections. Infections. Yeah. Oh, you ever see the videos where it's like a dog's leg and worms are flying.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I don't like that. I can't do bugs coming out It's just a bug I hate that too The bugs are bad The bugs are bad

And then there's also the fucking No no no no Not a bug not a bug dog dog I'm getting TikTok ads for games Where it's like pimple popper games Oh no Have you seen these

Of course Pimple Popper games It doesn't do it It doesn't do it for me Then also they're getting More discussing now Where it's like a woman's butt And it's covered in bot flies and hair

And like The whole game is like You're supposed to shave the hair off the woman's butt and you're supposed to pull like you probably get a boner from those yeah sure yeah dude yeah it's a butt with bot fly larva in it ass should look like facacia I hate the word you should have like olives in it and shit red onions yeah that's what I think like if you're grown up it's covered in salt yeah if you're grown up it should be look like it'll kill the bugs yeah an egg

yep breakfast I really don't like breakfast butt yeah I think that I call that breakfast, but. I don't want a smooth butt. Give me one with huge craters bush. Olives on it. Follives. Grapes and larvae from an animal. Yeah, a little pieces of salooner.

That's a real grown-ups ass. Hair on it. Oh, hell no. Fuck. Hell no. Better be shaving that hair off, man. I don't fuck with that. Yeah.

What else is disgusting? I don't know. I feel like the last, I don't, I feel like there's, I haven't seen a new version of these videos in a while. Yeah. When popping came out, I was like, that's new. That is new. That's kind of a new thing 10 years ago.

Dr. Pimple Popper. Yeah. God, rest her soul. I don't know if she's still around. Okay. How dare you even put that out there? Is she still around? Yes.

And she, she's the best woman on the planet. Why? She's so fine. She's a dermatologist. She just had a stroke. Really? Oh, God. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Insinuated she had died. She's just. She makes everyone feel so good. That's why I love her. Who's the other guy? The fucking Miami gay guy. You?

No. No world where I could be a Miami gay. I think you would be amazing at that. No, no, no. Dude. I don't see it. In Miami? I was thinking about it for a second.

Not quite. That's like less gay, though. Yeah, because that's not the men, like Jeff Bezos dresses like a Miami gay guy. Yeah, you're just fucking Cuban. Yeah. You just got like, You look good with your shirt button to hear.

Yeah. Ooh, do you do that? Yeah. Yeah, he looks really good. Do you wear a necklace? He's got a hairy chest. He died. I used to.

He's worn a necklace before. I used to my sister yanked my chain off my neck. Damn, you know, that's like a weird. Yeah. In the rap community, that's a death. You should green light. She did it. She did that.

Were you in a fight? No. She was just making a joke. We came home. We came home. Whenever I go home and hang out with my parents, we have a million beers. And we came home one night. Your sister snatch you chain.

And my sister walked up behind me and yanked the chain and then broke the thing, the connector. Yeah. That's annoying. It was also a fake chain that gave me a green neck all the time. Totally. Yeah. I like those. Yeah.

I like big fake gold stuff. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I bought like a big, it was like a Cuban link. I bought at the mall of the Fesent Lane Mall in Nashville. You know, yeah. Oh, yeah. Remember my big Rough Rider's chain?

Oh, dude. We just got hit up by Timu to, if they asked if they wanted us to do an ad. Yeah, we should do a team. You boys? We've never done an ad. Should we break that for Timu? We break it for Timu for sure. Do you know what you have to do?

No. Well, we could buy all the jewelry. We can get all the Timu jewelry. There's Timu sunglasses in here somewhere. Is it podcast style ad? Hey, guys. I'm Joanna from Timu's marketing team. I've been loving your YouTube content.

Your style and energy are amazing. Working on a new campaign and think you'd be a perfect fit. If you're interested, we're offering great pay, free products, and exclusive perks for your audience. Best regards. for your audience. We've never done, I don't think we've ever. We never done an ad. We did one for Icelandic glacial water, even though they just said, don't do that.

They just, yeah, they sent us. I love that bottle. It's great, but they did, they sent us like six bottles. It's like, give me a year's supply. That's supposed to be a year supply. And also we put on a damn airplane. That's a year supply. They walk around with that bottle.

True. Damn. I asked Celsius if they would send me some free stuff and they sent me an ambassador application. Whoa. Oh, just the application. The application is so, fuck. about it so much just out of

my heart. I was like, can I get a six-pack of kind of makes me feel sick? Did I tell you about the time? I don't do it anymore. It makes me feel bad. I drink one every day. I'm going to have a stroke. Really? Yeah. Do you like coffee? No, I hate coffee. See, that's fine. I like coffee and then I do with Celsius like by night.

By night. See, I'm the opposite. When I was working at a restaurant. Oh, okay. I'm doing Celsius in the morning. First thing when I wake up. Oh, no. What flavor? Doesn't matter. There goes the enamel, man. Enamel gone. No, because I got nano-hydroxy. appetite toothpaste. It's this amazing Japanese invention that restores your enamel.

Is it working? It's working. Let's knock something on your teeth. They look great. No, I don't have insurance. What about like, okay, what about the other, a couple weeks ago or a couple months ago, I had like a horrible sore on the inside of my mouth. Do you like that or that's gross? Love. Really? Yes, it hurts so bad. Was it filled with clear liquid? Or was it yellowish? It was yellowish and white. Did you bite it? No, I had, I kept every day I would have to take baking soda. and push baking soda onto it was the most painful thing I've ever had to do in my life but I changed my toothpaste that's what reminded me and were you doing zen while you were doing that that's probably why you got it that's probably why you got it no no I got it because I had a

vibrating toothbrush oh no no I think it's not why I get little clear tanker soresors I have one kind of right now on the inside and I bite it you see it no not really maybe I popped it I see where it was. What about tonsil stones? I've always wanted one, but I don't have tonsils. My girlfriend got the picker. How often are you getting them? It's like a metal.

Well, she had them for a little bit. Stanky. They smell bad? Yeah, they make your, that's what makes your breath. That's how you know. You're like, something is off. Yeah. But she like went in.

It's like these two little like metal things and she like went in and like yank them out. Oh, dude. In high school, I used to use the lead from a mechanical pencil to get my boyfriend's out. And then we would crush them and smile them together. And he was the hottest guy in school. Wow. Yeah. You really are the gross out queen.

I know. Yeah. That's impressive. Yeah. Crush them and smell. We gross him out a lot one time. I'm easy to gross out. He was really easy to gross out.

My entire family is easy to gross out. It was me and Cameron sitting here for, I guess, the duration of the episode, just saying things to gross him out. It worked. Mm-hmm. Pussy with flies in it. Yeah. Flies and cheese. You got it immediately.

The flies are dead because they're drowned in the spray cheese, but it's all over the pussy and the fold. I made him dry heat because I said grandpa's butt. It's gray. It's gray. It's gray. She's peeing the cheese and flies out. It's gone. The pee is gray.

Oh, and it stinks because it's dead. The pee is dead. It's actually not even her pee. There's a dead animal inside of her. That's peeing and it's coming out. out of her vagina. It's coming? Yeah, and it's coming too. And she's dead.

It's spelling all of its fluids because it died. It died. So it's shit, piss, poop, come. And it's DMTing. It's going like this inside of her stomach too. The most amazing death experience being. And it's a raccoon. Oh, God.

Those are dirty animals. A raccoon with bot flies in it. I just went to Central Park the other day for my friend's birthday. He sent us coordinates because there's this area where like 20 raccoons all come out. And you can feed them. I love raccoons. Yeah. I love it.

They're becoming domesticated because of things like this. Yeah. Because they're nasty. Yeah, they're nasty. They're rodents. Yeah. Well, but bro, do you like rats? No.

That is so fun. I would put a, I had a scary dream. I would curb stomp them in a bag. First time I ever did. I would. I thought you're saying you did. I would.

I was like, that's crazy. No, no, no. I did. I did. I never did stand up was at a hooka bar when I was like 16 and I was sitting on a couch waiting. I'm so nervous. It was like the most nerve-wracking thing

that was there completely alone and a rat climbed up my back and onto my head. Hell no. I was swatted off into a lady's lap and she was like, that's my pet rat. Shut off.

It was so, it was horrible. It was this hookah bar called the juggling gypsy. Yeah. Now renamed recently to Barzarzar. Barzar. It's like a Hula hoop like B-A-R-Z-A-R-E.

I had a dream of, similar rat dream the other night. It wasn't a dream that happened. I opened, well, just rats on the head. I opened a door and a rat jumped on my face. And I woke up. My girlfriend was leaving. And I like, when I fully went,

they're scared. I mean, she was like, what works? Because she was immediately, she's like, oh my God, he just had the craziest dream.

And I was like, I can't tell you. And I went back to bed. I had rats in an apartment in Bushwick. Yeah, I've had a rats. We're watching Game of Thrones. And a rat is like,

Yuck. I had a, they don't give a fuck. I had a rat in my apartment in Boston, and it would just fucking mosey around, knowing I wasn't going to do shit of such a pussy. So scary. Can't even scare a rat. Yeah. We would, like, slam the doors a few times when we would come out so that they were gone. And my roommates put a fake rat on my pillow as a joke.

And it was like, it made me cry. Like, it was so like, we're living with them. Yeah. This is real. We had one rat, and it would, it specifically would be an out. at night, and it would be, so I would take a shower and I would try to run from the bathroom butt-ass naked as fast as I could

to my room because I was worried about seeing the rat. And sometimes you'd be walking into the hallway and it's dark, it would crawl over your feet. No. It's so amazing. One time, when I, when I first got Mo, Alex sent me a video, oh no, there's a cockroach, this is a different. But Alex

Alex sent me a video, he just said video of Mo, and it just said, L-O-L, and I open it, and it's just Moe, like, swatting a cockroach back in port with this. Like a fucking a roach like this big. And he was like a sick baby. I found him on the street

and I was like so scared. You were livid. I was like you didn't fucking pick up the like you didn't get the like clearly he killed the road. You didn't throw it out. He can eat that and get sick again. I used to babysit these rich kids and I had a monitored lizard

and I used to have to feed them with chopsticks. Feed the lizard live roaches. No. It was the worst job I've ever had. That's disgusting. Just for that. It would be five minutes of my day, but it would ruin my day.

Is a monitor lizard the same as like a commoto? Are they the same species? No, no, it's way smaller. Like, why do people have those? I don't know. It fucking lived in like a, like under the bed basically. It's so sad. It's a useless animal.

Yeah. I hate babysitting. Yeah, I'm glad I don't do it anymore. Yeah. I once fell asleep. He should steal so much food, though. Oh, me too. I just to walk in and as soon as the parents left, I would,

I knew I could eat. I was like, okay, I can have like 10 grapes. I can have two pieces of cheese. I would drink that really nice milk and I would just down it right out of the bottle as soon as they left. I love when you're feeding a baby like pasta and butter with cheese. It never looks better. Like you're like, oh, I fucking need pasta with butter and cheese. It is good though.

Yeah. It's so fucking good. But these were like, these kids were, they were older. They weren't like babysitting sucks so bad. I babysat this like one year old, but it was my mom. mom's boss and the office was in the basement of their house. So everyone was home, but they were just honestly like giving me money. And they were like, don't put the baby on the couch. And I was like, all right. And then I put the baby on the couch. And I was just like, I had my hand on him, but I fell asleep for a sec. And he fell off the couch. He hit his head on the table and then fell on the ground. And then he was scream, crying. And they came up. And I said that I took a toy away from him. And he was like during a teenage. And then they were yelling at him. him. That's a good move.

That's a great lie. That's like a pro life. It came out of me immediately. Oh my God. That's insane. It's like he's acting crazy. Yeah. He's being nuts.

Babysitting. Yeah. I had definitely had moments babysitting because I babysat a lot growing up. I had moments even at like 10 or 11 years old babysitting like just watching somebody's kid while they like basically go to the grocery store or something where I was like, I completely understand why parents will punch. Yeah. Because the kid is going crazy and you're like, I want to punch this fucking kid.

Were you hit? Not badly. I would say like, I would say right as they were turning a corner on that. You know what I mean? Like I think my brother got it bad. Yeah. And I was getting,

there was always one utensil of space between my, my parents' hands and my ass. It was always like a spatula or a belt sort of thing. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. So it's not really hitting. If someone says I got hit as a kid, I'm imagining like this.

Punched in the head. Yeah. No, it was always like a belt or something. Yeah. Something normal. My mom would like grab me really hard. Oh, my God. And look in my eyes to be like, I know I'm doing this.

Or the ear. The ear. My mom pulled my hair. Yeah. I definitely got that. Yeah. I think I got, eh. A belt.

I feel like you got the shit kicked out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was not a very good No you I was not a

Yeah No completely You're a bad Yeah I was a horrible kid But uh It like You're like worst case scenario Yeah

Why were you doing It was very I yeah Just create like Jackass too early I'm doing That to me is worse than like Like mass shooter type kid Yeah

Because those it's like okay It's only horrible at the end The rest of the time They've just been silently torturing bugs in their room or whatever just being good kids. That's what the mom always says. He was such a sweet kid. If you had done a mass shooting, your mom would have been like, I knew it.

Yeah. I knew this day was coming. Uh-huh. Yeah. He was always doing pranks. Yeah. Turns out, yeah, turns out he fucked, something fucked up. Something fucked up somewhere in there. Now he thinks that's a prank. Because you were just torturing your parents all the time. Yeah. Doing what? Were you like Bam? Just like, yeah,

just like stupid shit like that. Like I wanted to be bam so bad when I was like, nine that it was yeah well I also had an uncle that lived in our house my uncle Kevin RIP RIP and I did a lot of like he was Phil he was well he was Don Vito

oh he was my Don Vito oh I love that man yeah and I would I would uh there you know that big what's his what's his name Bert Reynolds the Bert Reynolds center center centerfold I hung that in his room one time of him like sexy

the nude like half nude hung that in his room and then he dated this woman her name was emmy and she was missing a lot of teeth okay what'd you do and like they broke up and she was like fully like like I just don't get why we're breaking up like blow like calling him a lot like on the like house phone I just don't get why we're breaking up calling him on the house phone a bunch and then like I

wrote him a letter from me oh my god it's like all my so like all hands on deck me and my like three other siblings, my sister, my brothers. We all wrote him a letter. Like my sister wrote it because like girls handwriting. And then we like said like and I've I've given you like I made you lunch for work. But then he like like like left for like two weeks. Like he was like, I don't know what. He wasn't.

He was supposed to pay my mom rent. And then he didn't. And then like the day that he came back. Also the lunch that we made, it's like two pieces of bread. The bread and whole mushrooms in it. Because you're like, yeah, because Emmy's stupid. this is like what she would make for lunch. Mushroom sandwich,

got you. But then that state, it's like the summer. So his hot bedroom, this brown bag, this brown bag of mushrooms and bread, like, just sitting in there.

And then the centerfold, like the Bert Reynolds centerfold and like stuff like that. You didn't realize at the time, Kevin was definitely going through a rough patch. Yeah, he was going through divorce. Perfect time to,

like, yeah. Yeah. When you're a kid, your uncle moving into his sister or brother's house is like, that doesn't reach to you. Dude, yeah. Yeah. I get to hang out with Brian and Katie on weekend. You don't realize there's a reason for that.

Yeah. No. So, yeah, he gets kicked out. Like, he came home and my mom was like, you know, like it was a huge like blowout fight. And then me, like, we're all like eavesdropping. And then my siblings and I were like, oh, fuck the food. is in his room. So he had to like sneak into his room

without getting caught to get the food out so that when he comes in he's like, and look what your fucking kids are doing. Of course I'm leaving. He was, dude, I told you about the time I left a cliff bar on the table and it was like a chocolate cliff bar. Oh, you do the poop prank.

Yeah, I did a poop prank on him. He took a bite out of it. I realize now he was playing it like playing it up. Yeah. But he took it. Like I kind of squished it up. It really looks like a dark, it looks like a dark, like a peptobismol poop. And I put it on the table.

And he like took a bite out of it. And I realized now he was playing it up for me to like, you know, be funny. But he took a bite out of it. He's like, oh, that's good. What is that? Like that's really good. And I was like, oh, smoky pooped on the table. He went, oh, that's good.

Like classic like, classic like stupid. Donnie. Dude, he was awesome. Yeah. My stepdad once saran wrapped the toilet, like, and then put the seat down. So that when I went to pee, I peed all over myself. We, this is, it's got me. You got me.

I'm 10. We definitely did that. We did, we used to, we used to, I have a brother who's like two years younger than me. Me and my older brother is six years older than me. We used to, because he was a really heavy sleeper, we used to duct tape him to the wall. We'd pick him up. We'd duct tape him like to a random part of the hallway and then he'd wake up. And sometimes we would wake him up. We'd have to be like, hey man, it's time to get ready for school. And he's crucified on the wall with duct tape. And then they one time Saran wrapped me to

my bed while I was asleep. Oh my God. That was so scary. Because I woke up. Yeah, that's like I thought that my, I thought it was paralyzed. It was pretty awesome. Yeah. My stepdad also worked at Party City for a while. God. It was awesome. That sounds incredible. He got fired. Yeah. But he would bring home like fake dukies.

Yeah. And when I had friends sleep over, young girls. Yeah. He would be like, Amanda, did you do that in the bathroom? And then my friend was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Like leave a turd like outside the toilet. I like prints like this. These are funny to me.

And he would leave his false teeth. Like if I came to the dinner table, they'd be on my plate. on like a plate of chicken. I like that. Yeah. He was funny as well. I think that's funny. Yeah.

We, my older brother was such a heavy sleeper too. Like if you woke him up for school, it would be like the worst that he would like scream at you like, shut the fuck up. Yeah. I'm not talking to get to tell him to that. I got time.

And I would like, this is in high school though, but I would like put like, you know, like a speaker in his room and just play like the fucking Frasier theme song. There's like a video. I don't have it anymore. It got deleted,

but it was like a video of like, do do do. And then my brother going, Patrick, I'm going to fucking kill you. Like, front of his door. Dude,

having like three boys in your house. Yeah. That's how old. We were up to Malcolm in the middle type shit. Yeah, that was another one that, I mean, okay,

pranks, I love box pranks. I love pranks. I love pranks that you buy at the store. Yeah. Like fart bomb? Like stuff like that. That's fun.

Fake poop. That's amazing. Fake poop is amazing. Fake vomit. Yeah. Is amazing. We got him really bad. ,

Light, yes. Oh, I love that. Oh, when you twist it a lot and then the, you know what I'm talking about? No. You take the lighter and you take the, like the, like, the clear plastic ones. You take that off and then you twist it, like, I think to the, yeah, to the right a bunch so that like the nozzle gets loosened. And then when you open it up, the flame goes like, yeah. So I would do that to my mom's.

Trying to play. Oh, my God. Light her hair on fire. The kind of shit I would get up to you. Menis. Yeah, I would of course hate you. That was, wow, that was scary. That sounded like that sounded, yeah.

That was scary. That sounded like I was actually terrible. You don't have siblings? No, I'm an only child. You don't strike me as an only child. Thank you. You seem, that is a compliment. Yeah.

Only children. I really, I've always ingratiated myself with people who have siblings or like made my friends. my sisters and my brothers and I love sharing I think because a lot of people in my life have died so I'm scared of being alone so I'm like you're actually

everyone's gonna be here forever that's basically the same yeah as having brothers and sisters I wish I had a sibling so bad just someone to talk about my parents with I think so too yeah yeah completely I was I feel like Pierce and I have a similar

like we were just like yes to death then now this is who I am. I don't have no, no fears. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we didn't, uh, I don't like boogers.

Did I have brothers, I guess. But if I think if I had a sister, I would be a completely different guy. You don't have any sisters. No, four brothers or three brothers. I'm one of them.

And where are you? I am, I was the middle for my whole life until my mom had a fourth kid when I was like 14. Wild. That's right. So then I just,

and then you just sort of like a babysitter. You're like an uncle. My sister was a crazy torturer. Yeah. Yeah, I had a torture. I broke my arm when I was... I had a torture and I was a torturer. But the thing is when you get older,

I can say with my brothers, we all tortured each other. Yeah. And we... Oh, yeah, we all get along now. That's the only thing we talk about and we love that we tortured each other. It's so special that tortured by your brother, man.

Yeah, you can't do it now. No, I wouldn't torture my grown brother. He's got a kid. Yeah. I mean, I mean, you could, but it wouldn't be nice. It is funny to me to still, to now. Now that he has a kid, anytime he texts me or my wife, some video the kid, just be like, bro, nobody cares.

Yeah, thumbs down. This is like, I really don't care. Leave me out of this shit. My boyfriend and his brother, like, wrestle, or whenever they see each other, they're like all over each other. And it makes me laugh. It's fun. But I have the little one, my youngest brother. How old is he now?

He's 16. Wow. That's crazy that he's 16. It's crazy, right? Or 15. It's cool that you have like an eye on that. that I know his age. Yeah, that's cool.

He is now, I think he's six foot three and probably has about 30 pounds on me. Jesus Christ. So when we were kids, when he was a kid, I would wrestle him and beat the shit out of him. Now he fucking destroys me. To the point where I have to be like, dude, it's not fun anymore. Yeah. I really don't want to be beat up by you. What was that?

2021? We went to Alligator Adventure with him. Yeah, probably around there. Yeah. He was tiny. Yeah. That's nuts. How did you guys mean?

Like when you met at college, was it electric? No. No, the first time I met Patrick, we were actually, he was with, he was friends with our friend, Ben Loftus. And they had just watched a movie. We saw the movie Gotti. Yes. And me and Ben were talking about it. And Pat was sort of like Ben's kind of Amy Richter in the conversation.

I was maybe chiming in every once in a while. I remember Ben and we were talking and you walked up to us and sat down. Yeah. And I was like, hmm, that's an interesting thing is to be in a group of people. and then one of the guys goes and sits down. And so then I just sort of had to start unraveling who this guy was. I think I only saw you for like two minutes. But that was the day that he was going to start an open mic.

Yes. He was going to a Muya burgers. And then Pat became a close friend because he was really funny to watch him drink a lot of beer. He was the best of drinking beer I've ever seen. He still is. He still is. I still do that. And where did Cameron come in?

Me and Cameron had the same job. in college and we recorded we used to record at work yeah where we would podcast started when they were at work yeah yeah pat was not involved no he came on later i was living in i was living in rivey pretty much yeah i would take a five dollar bus in every day and i was really broke at the time too but i was like i should keep going yeah i should keep doing this because it's really fun and then it would be like you should get you should get another you should get a job and be like well i have a job but I'm still broke from the job. Boston's expensive.

Boston's crazy. I pay less for my apartment now than I did for my apartment. Oh, yeah. No, it's fucking crazy. I paid $900 or $950 a month for my apartment in Boston. How much you pay now? Like $900. Wow, that's amazing.

Yeah. Is your place small? Well, it's, that's my half of the room. I mean, I know, but that's really low. It is small. I've been living in the same place for like six years. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's pretty good. But Boston was so expensive. Boston's so expensive and there's really nothing to do there. No. It all shuts down it like one in the morning. People sometimes will ask me if somebody's like going and doing a show in Boston and I'll ask me like what should I do?

I don't know. It's all fucking gone. When I lived there, I had no, I didn't have the money to do anything. Right. And if we did, if we did have the money to do something, we were like, okay, let's buy beer and go to this guy's house. We would go to houses. And that's what everybody in Boston does, I think. You should go to Neil's house.

It was nice because they have those like, Go to Neil's old house. Yeah, Neil's old house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boston has like, it's all houses. There's very few, like, apartment buildings, especially where we were living. Yeah. And so people would just, you would just have, like, everything was at a house.

Every show was at a house. Every single function was it. Nobody went to bars. The bars were terrible there. Yeah, if you did. They're all fucking Irish. I mean, well, not the, no, all the bars weren't Irish. They were, they were, they were the, all the bars that everyone was like, hey, we're going to go here.

It's like the worst fucking, I guess the model was fun. The sill was, all the, all the, all. Alston bars, but then downtown. I'm not going to sit through a bouncer at a bar that closes at 11 p.m. Yeah. I'm not going to go with the sun still out and have a guy fucking press me over an ID. Yeah. Because I was that bar.

Fucking. Because it's all sports bars. Yeah. It was all fucking sports bars there. Yeah. Was that bar that we went to? It was like the one upstairs. I went to a two-year acting school where I met Brian Fiddyman.

Oh. Oh. You and Brian Fittamy were the first two people I met when I moved to New York. I remember that. Yeah. You came over. Yeah. Like 20,

23 years old. Yeah. Yeah. And then I didn't talk to either of you for probably two years. A while. Yeah. But that was just how it was back then, man. Absolutely.

People come and go. It was different. Look at us now. I know. Well, you guys are a little shy. Sometimes you guys have been shy. I don't think so. He's not shy.

You're not shy. No. No, no, he's not shot. Cameron's shy. Me and Cameron shy. I would say I'm right there. But then when you get in there, you're not shy. No, no, I'm crazy.

You're cool and crazy. Yeah. And now you have a new special coming out. Yep. All right years later. On veeps.com. The good Charlotte brothers. Yes, the good Charlotte guy.

You're kidding me. My mom's, they're brothers. My mom's gay coworker gave me a good Charlotte tour shirt that if I had today, I looked it up on Deep Pop. I could have sold it for a lot of money. I saw them up. I have an amazing good Charlotte shirt.

Is it the green with the GC on it? No, it's them as cartoons. Oh. But I cut it when I got it. So it's like I ruined it a little bit, but it's still cool. Were you in a music when you were a kid or growing up? Yes. Yeah, you got a warp tour?

I did go to work tour. You did? With my dad. Holy fuck. And my dad was like, you can go halfway up, Newfound Glory. Oh, my favorite band. I saw a good Charlotte. Hot Rod Circuit, less than Jake.

Wow. Yeah. Fans warped the used. Come on. I think it's a used album cover. My mom's a co-worker. Oh, really? The guy with the flames?

No. I got to look this fucking shit. Maybe it's right now. I'm fucking no. Were you friends with people who cut themselves? Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. I hung out with those types of people.

I loved that shit. I hung out with some bad, some rough customer kids. Yeah. Bad kids. My friend wrote like, So lightly. Like she didn't even go really cut herself. She wrote death in her arm.

And then I told my mom my mama to call her mom. Your mom, her fucking mom didn't notice. She had a bleeding. The word death bleeding on her arm. It was barely. It was like pencil, when you draw on a pencil on your hand and stays there for a minute.

And like lightly did it. Did you ever have to take the gay test? Are you taking a racer on the back of your hand? And if you don't bleed you're gay. Yes. So it's just basically someone making you do that. Yeah, yeah. And then you're gay.

If your hands is bigger than your face, you're gay. Yeah. Or smaller than your face you're gay. I've heard of that. That one was always, you have cancer. Yeah. That's what I always heard. This gave you cancer.

This gives you cancer. Giller someone. This gives you cancer. Gail or so what? What? Yo, you're a gay lord. No, you are. Yeah.

Yeah. The sound of your voice. It really is uncanny. Oh, I'm making you laugh. Are you tickled right now? Come here. Come here. Come.

Come. Come. Come. Oh, my God. What are you doing? He's trying to make you suck his pot. What is doing? I'm just a kid.

Oh, come on. I have a little bit of, I have a Snickers bar in my pocket. I guess. I have a pet of file cake out. During Pride Month You're going to do that Come on, Edie It's got to be someone

I don't know what to tell you Well We don't use this thing enough It is really It's always fun Yeah I always like it Yeah

What was it like recording a stand-up special Oh my God It was a absolute blast. Where'd you do it? At the slipper room. The slipper room. Yeah, it's like a famed, oh.

It's like a burlesque place. Have you ever been there? I forgot about that way. Yes. No, I don't think I have it. The slipper room. No, I don't have one. The slipper room.

What is the slipper room like? Um, it's beautiful. I filmed it there because it's beautiful. It's like, um, it's just a big, beautiful wood stage or it's small. And then there's this long, huge red curtain. Like, people do like aerial silks. Oh, okay. We have a friend who does that shit. Yeah. She's like jacked. Yeah. It's crazy. That and like, you have to be so strong to do that. She does, she does that. She does pole dancing, which is insane. Well, you're holding yourself doing this shit. Yeah. Flagpole. Did you know that the pole? hole itself spins. Yeah, my girlfriend has one at our apartment. Okay, Daddy. I've gone and I've played on it. Yeah, it's really fun. Someone has a picture somewhere of me, like, jumping onto it and immediately my nutsack

pinched on the pole. There's a, like, a photo of me up there going, oh! There was one time we were over there and Sam started playing on it. And basically every girl at your house was surrounding Sam as he was, like, dancing on it. Yeah. And he was, I guess, really good at it. I bet he's good at it.

I get, he was really, really good. I can see that for him. Yeah. It's a lot of, uh, yeah, it's like the pole spins. So it's a lot of it like is getting used to that. I want to fucking do that. Yeah. Yeah.

You could go. My, I think my, my girlfriend's like working at a, there's someplace she's working at now. She works like two days a week at one of those places. You could pull up, pull the fuck up. At a pole dancing place? Yeah. Like classes?

Yeah. She's like a. She's not an instructor, but she's working with the instructor. I think I'm going to get into karate. Yeah. I think I'm moving towards karate. That's a good. Yeah, because I don't think I can do.

We know some Brazilian jiu-jitsu instructors. I can't do that. Why? I can't look at, I can't do that. Yeah, you could. You'd be good at it. I would be, if I got cauliflower ear, I'm ball. Is jiu-jitsu?

Yeah. That's like a choke. Roll. They were passing out. Jiu-suit. There we go. Flyers down the street. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I walk by a place like every day. You should get into Ikeido like my grandpa. That's the one where you use magic to move people there. That's the one. That's the Stephen Segal one where you use the persons, it's like you use their centrifugal force against them. Have you ever seen these Steven Segal videos? Julio, can you pull up Stephen Seagal? It's not really good.

Stephen Seagal, Ikego tournament. Okay, so that's me on the news. Oh, wow. There he is. Baltimore News. That was me on the Baltimore News. Why? I was with Grace and April from Girl God.

And they were promoting their show in Baltimore on the news. That's fucking awesome. And they asked me about carrots, which I'm allergic to. Really? I'm allergic to carrots. No, I get a big puffy face. Oh, wow. I used to get insane diarrhea from carrots.

Really? You guys can tell what gives you diarrhea? This time I could with the carrots, but then it went away. I have diarrhea so often that I really, I could never identify what it is. Yeah. You had diarrhea for a year. I had diarrhea for a year of my life probably. Do you eat like an animal?

No, I eat really healthy. What the hell? So what is it? Some health food that I eat. I eat like a pig. Could be greens. I eat like a damn pig. Solid.

Solid. I should solid all day long. To me, if I have a solid shit, I'm like, if I have a solid shit in the morning, I'm like, this is going to be a really good day. usually is. It kind of portends good things for me. Yeah. You get hot snakes? What's it? When the, oh, is that like a bunch

of little ones? Hot snakes. Oh, I've had that. I had that actually today. With farts included. Yeah, with farts included. I get the worst poops. Anytime my wife has her friends over or her sister over and they're like, they're giggling about something watching TV and our bathroom is basically right next to the living room. So I just have the nastiest, loudest, farting shit stinks up my entire house. I literally

will come out from a shit. Your wife and her friends coming over. Your wife and her friends coming over. It's like, yeah, let's have a fiber party. We're all going to drink metamusal cocktails and eat broccoli. The move I've done. My apartment is so small that the shit, if I take a shit, the entire place smells like shit.

No. So what I do is I will come out of the bathroom and I will immediately cook a meal to mask the smell of the shit. Because if I put a frozen pizza in the oven or something. Yeah. Onions in a pan. Yeah. Now it sounds like pepperoni.

What you guys are. got to do you have a microwave i do not have a microwave me neither i have an air fryer me neither i wish i had one i miss microwave popcorn that's the only reason i was pretty awesome it just takes up too a space of my little ass yeah yeah yeah the other day this guy came over to film something at my house and i went to pee and a fart came out like in the bowl and i was like you're miced up but also i was just like i feel like he could hear it from the bathroom yeah do you You guys, if you know that somebody you know is taking a shit in a bathroom, will you go take a shit in the stall next to them? Sometimes depends.

I don't know if I've ever been faced. If I really have to. I would do that with you. Yeah. But I think there's most people in my life, I don't think I would. I shit in front of my friends. Really? Yeah.

I shit in front of my boyfriend. This has been a thing. The other day we went. I'm against that. Well, we went to this friend's house of these friends of his who are, they just bought a house. Yeah. And they're just like more like adult. They live in Westchester now.

They have a house. They're different vibes. And at like, before dinner, we were talking and the wife was like, what's your guys like vibe in the bathroom? And I thought, I don't know what I thought, but I was like. Well, I don't know what that could mean. I'm going to be honest. Yeah, what is that question first of all?

And I was like, well, it's like a really bad swinger introduction. Yes. What's your vibe in the bathroom? Maybe that's not what she said. It was, that was the question. Yeah. And I was like, oh, well, I. I've been shitting in front of my boyfriend and he's getting mad because it's already hard to have sex when you live together all this time.

So he's telling me to stop. But then it keeps happening and whatever. I said that. And she was like, oh, she was like, I meant like he keeps taking my toothbrush and like taking it. Oh, so come on. I was like, I was like, you went first. You had the right read. You had the right read.

What's your vibe in the bathroom? That's where I shit. That's a weirdly like, yeah. That's, that's, that's, they're, no, they're being dishonest to the. themselves. They're being dishonest to themselves being like,

oh, he just keeps shaking my tooth bro. They definitely, no, no couple does not have a policy.

Yeah. They have a policy regarding shitting in front of each other. Absolutely. For some reason, they didn't, even after that,

they didn't tell you. No, it didn't open it up. Come on. I know. I was like, that should open it up immediately. More people should be honest

about everything and talking about some weird stuff. I agree. Why are we hanging out? Yeah. Let's get into it. I do. My girlfriend was like,

she was like, Oh, you shit in front of your boyfriend. You need to stop doing that. I do think it's, I don't do it on purpose. Why don't you just close that door there? Because then I'm like, wait, we're talking so much all the time. I'm like, wait, I'm in the middle of a story. And he used to, before someone told us that we shouldn't do it, he was fine with it.

And now he's like, it is kind of gross. Well, maybe he was waiting for that sort of to be like to bring it up. Maybe he's always been like, yeah. Liking is different than being okay with it. I think it's nice. I'm so comfortable. It smells. It is a sign of it.

It is a sign of extreme comfortability, but also... He showed me his shit right before I came over here. He was like, do you want to see it? Hot snakes. Oh, it's tough. That's tough. I'm like, yeah. My stepdad used to do that too.

Show you a shit. He would be like, I just made a four. Like a four. The number. Oh. The number four like this. And we would be like, yo, let's go look at it. I had a white poop at a sleepover one time.

No. That means you're dying. Yeah, I know. I know. I found that out later, but I mean... Was that because it took a long time to come out? I have no idea, but I remember... I remember I got everybody, including the kid's dad, to come look at it. And everybody was like, dude, that's white.

Like the, like, like the color of your pants sort of kind of, yeah, a little cream, creamy poop. Not stark white. I don't like that. Come on. I'm not a cartoon. A tan shit, like a baby. It was, I remember, looks like the mozzarella sticks at TGI Fridays. In my head. I don't remember the smell, because the look was so. So I was so overpowered with that sense that I think everything else shut down.

I would say color-wise, it looked like a very light suede. Yeah. You know, like a really light suede. A maple suede. Not even maple. No, no. It was like a, Tope.

Tope. That's a creamy kind of color, right? Yeah. Yeah, it was like kind of topey. Have you ever smelled a shit? Yeah. And it reminds you of your grandma or your mom's shit. And it makes you feel kind of like.

like tender. Yeah. No. No. No. No. No. Me neither.

Not of my, it wasn't a tender feeling, but one of my, my cousin, my cousin pooped on the couch one time, like in her sleep. And the smell was so bad that I think we got rid of the couch. And that smell, I've smelled in New York walking around. Oh. Like there's been times like I'm walking down China. No, but it's like. Cousin poop on the sofa.

But it smells, it's like a poop that smells kind of like, like, if it was a cheese, it would be good. And you didn't feel like, I love my cousin. No, I was just like, I was like, Jesus Christ, that was the worst smell I've never smelled in my life. Like, I was just in Chinatown under like a train that had like a dumpster near it. And I was like, oh my God, wait a minute, this smell I've smelled before, it smelled like my cousin's poop. Have you ever had a shit that that's like a sweet shit? I don't like it either. It's been a long time for me.

I never had a sweet smelling poop. But you've had them. You have. I have. I have. You've had them. Yeah. They're always kind of worrying.

Yeah. It sounded like you were telling me I had one. You've had one. You've had one. No. Do you ask if I shit my pants? Have you? Is that something that happens to you?

Pretty much once every six months. Same. Yeah. I ship my pants. Man, it's almost always fine. But I ship my butt more than I shit my pants. Yeah. Like I got a big butt.

So it just kind of pops. Yeah. The bubble pops and it just stays. It doesn't get into my pants. I guess I've trusted. I'm close enough to the bathroom. I do. Yeah.

That's like shitting my butt cheeks, but it's not quite shing my pants. That's when you shit your butt, yeah. I have scares. It has to hit the pants. Once a week. Yeah. Oh yeah. I get activated by like if I know I'm not going to be able to go.

It like starts coming out. Yeah. Daily, regularly. Like if I'm going to the grocery store or especially clothing stores, I can't walk in a clothing store. I'm trying to think, I think the only time it ever happened to me, no, it happened to me twice actually. out like not in my house because normally it's just right when I wake up and I'll tell I'll try a

fart and it just doesn't work out yeah but I remember twice one time was I I I rented a city bike and I was leaving uh my wife's house in Boston and I was like you know what I'm gonna rent a bike and I'm a bike to work and I bike to work and I farted on the bike I guess I didn't remember it and I was and I just had the most beautiful bike ride I was right by the river but beautiful sun coming up was really early in the morning and I got to work and uh I was like hmm there's something I must a sweat I like swamp ass and I went to the bathroom and my entire pants were

filled with shit and I threw my underwear in the bathroom toy not toilet I guess there's yeah I guess there's times where I've like yeah there was a week where I was like really gassy for some reason and I farted and like I had a almost acts like you know like farted it was immediately

like oh I trusted that too much had to run to the bathroom yeah and then later that day I was hanging out with Charlie I laughed at something and just full master in disguise. I laughed at something. He said he went like,

ah, and you shit your pants? And shit my pants. But I shit my pants earlier that day. And because of that, the laugh, the laugh I immediately went. Because I was like,

like, I think shitting my pants, I think it keeps you humble. I think it's a good thing. It's the most humbling thing ever. In high school. I farted. I was laughing in a group

and I farted and immediately went like this and then someone was like you farted and I was like no I didn't saying no you didn't is the worst

you just have to really own up to it just be like like again you just got to be honest about everything you have to you just got to be like

it's the only way out yeah I did sorry that was funny though that was funny no I didn't stop I'm gonna be honest

I'm like okay my farts smell so bad it's impossible for them to be funny yeah are they like Nobody can laugh at my farts.

They smell so bad. Does your wife get mad at you? Bro. Every day. If I'm in the bedroom doing something on like my computer, almost every time she walks in and she goes, oh my God. Because the entire room smells like my fucking,

like a fart. Yeah. I get punched. Every fart I get punched. It's just, I think it would like Pavlov. I've had farts where I, this is horrible to say.

I've had farts where I will be on the couch and I'll fart and it's silent. She doesn't hear it. And then an hour later when I get up, it's been sitting under my ass. You just fart and I'm like an hour ago. And she has a theory that I have heavy farts. Yeah. Sounds like it.

It's like H3O. My boyfriend and I say like if we're with a group of people and we don't want to say it, we go, when? When? Like when is. I farted. Or you could be like, you know you're about to fart and then you go like, you got to change the word.

Yeah, you do have to change the word now because now we know. Shit. Everyone knows. This is going out to 100 people. Wait, I want to do shout out to my boyfriend's cousin Buster because he loves her podcast. Oh. Yo, shout out Buster. Buster.

Love the name. Great name. You got a robot. We got a robot for that one. Hi, Buster. next time I'm over we should try that massage chair together at your house just saying he has a massage chair yeah his dad has this amazing is it like one of the ones it's it's it's it's oh I love those literally fucks you it's amazing yeah the deep shiatsu massage thing

there's a part that's like that fucks you oh my god I remember that remember the pod the one the one at rex's place yeah our friend Rex lived in a place that had a massage pot What do you mean? It was probably like this. It's like a, it's like a pod that you get into. And they have these at the New World Mall and flush it. It hurts. Like it goes like.

It like gets your arms go in it. I love that. Go in it, man. There's like, uh, yeah, there's like a bunch of at the New World Mall like upstairs. There's like one lady who bought like a bunch of these and like she just like, I think it's like 50 bucks for a massage too. Yeah. It's like these are expensive. Yeah.

They're expensive. Yeah. But they do feel amazing. I've never gotten a massage though. What? Me neither. I never got a massage. What?

What am I going to do? I don't like being relaxed. I don't want to get naked. I hate wearing pajamas. All I want to do is get naked in from a stranger have to touch up all upon my body. Not me. Hey, the Irish Catholic is about getting happy ending massages. Oh, okay.

Over here on Myrtle. Oh, really? I'm dead out. Is it true that my brother told me when I was a kid that if the place has the picture of the foot in the like the front if they have a picture of a foot

then it's a place where you can get a happy ending No No the door is open And if it's an upstairs establishment If you walk around

Chinatown At night Yeah There's so many of them The door is open Why is the door open? At the night If a door is open

That's what it's saying If it's a massage place specifically or just a random Massage place What if I just walk into some Chinese families home? You're gonna get fucked Oh, all right.

Yeah, they'll fuck you. I walk in to some Chinese family sitting there and like, all right, well. Hey, guys. No, I've never gotten a massage. That's so fucking crazy. I don't, I truly, I think it's, I don't know what it is. I don't like being comfortable. I think it would be wrong for me to get a massage.

I don't like wearing pajamas. I hate wearing shorts in the summer. Just in general, I'm just speaking, like, massage. I feel like a massage would not even, I wouldn't even like it that much. you would like you like wearing me give you a massage no why I'm even I touch you all the time only only if necessary wow I want to be massage 24 fucking 7 if my shit hurts really bad like if I came home from skating and like my like

calf is like crazy tight it's like can you like put the therogun on oh you're a theragon yeah but not even like no I don't even think I would like it I wear big heavy pants all the time I don't know I love men in shorts I think it's shorts. Oh my God. Basketball shorts on a man. I hate wearing shorts.

So gross. I hate wearing shorts even then. I would pay big money to see the two of you in some basketball shorts. I'll wear them to play basketball. I'll wear shorts. Like yesterday I played golf. I wore shorts. But the entire time I'm thinking, I should have worn pants.

No. Should I'm worn pants. Oh, I love wearing pants. I love wearing shorts. The shorts are too, they get too tight around my leg and they get too. Tight. What are you talking about? I look like a.

I look like a. slut if I wear shorts. But what about basketball shorts? Those are great. I wore shorts. I wore shorts on one episode of the show. Basketball shorts and a hoodie? You are...

Something is wrong with you. Josh, John Federman. You have a reverse brain a little bit with this kind of thing. You're from reverse world. I know. But that's amazing. And if you want to see more of Edie's reverse brain, go check out. What's the name of the special?

I'm just like you and it sucks. Okay. On veeps. On veeps. On Beach.com. When does it come out? The 26th on Friday. But then it, oh, that's the screening.

There's a screening at Low Cinema on Thursday. That's right. And I did mess up the dates, but that is the correct date. Yeah, I can't go to the screening now. I'll be there. Yeah. I wish I could go. I'll come hang out after, but.

Please. Yeah. Please come. And after we'll be hanging at Peg's Cavalier. Come fans. Oh, all your scary fans will be there. Yay. Our fans aren't that scary.

It's the Joe Box fans you got to look out for. Sick. Those are sick. Twisted people. I like them. No, you don't like them. They seem to like me. So I like them.

These are sick people. They're very sick. Yeah. Our fans make fun of me for wearing orange shorts. Yeah. Episode two weeks ago, they said I looked like a gamer who was washed up. Wow. That's funny.

It was really funny, but it stuck with me. I was like, God damn it. That's exactly what I look like. Also, all my bad, all the worst tattoos I have are on my legs. Yeah. So you don't want to show bad. Badness. Yeah.

Yeah, you do. Shorts are just not. No. If it's real hot. You guys come around me wearing shorts. You will not be ridiculed in any way, okay? We'll be praised. Yeah.

You will be praised. Sit right on my lap. I got two legs here. To you. Two legs. All right, guys. Go check out E. Eadie special.

Yes. I'm just like you. And it sucks. On V. And then, by the way, in two months, it's going to be on YouTube for free. YouTube. Oh, come, but don't you shouldn't say that shit. Really?

Get your bag, man. Get your bag. Go to VEPS. If you have bag to give, give me some of the bag. Give, give me some. YouTube. And I'm Mr. Piness. Isn't it true if it's on Vips is going to be available on a plane?

Will it? That's what I say. saw one time someone had a special on Veeps and then it was on a that would be awesome. That's probably the only time I would watch a stand-up special to be on a pretty tough to you cannot pay me to watch a stand-up special. God damn. I don't want to see that.

This is a great promo. This is a really great promo. I watched Harrison Windrib special. That was really funny. That was the first one I've watched in a long time because I'm just like, it was so funny. Dan LaCotta's. Oh, yeah. I watched one.

I watch one of you. year pretty much yeah yeah I watch one a year why are you taking my voice sorry that's that's your voice don't pitch it up man yeah don't pitch it up here wait I'm not embarrassed well up here we go wow it's crazy that you understand how he's oh fuck I'm gonna call Oh, fuck! That's really scary to me. If you guys are so good at my fucking lap right now.

Wow, that's all. That's all that is so scary. He sounds like an evil computer. Oh, wow. It's just can't even darker than pit like. Wow, that is so cool. I've never used this before, and I've definitely, I'm definitely going to be fucking something up, And Cameron's going to come back and he's going to be like, what did you do?

Yeah, he's going to be mad. He's going to be mad. Is it normal? Yeah. And this is, there we go. Now it's nice and normal. Oh, I love it. Yeah.

Yeah, I wish I had a lot of life. All right. All right. Go check that shit out. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Of course, any time.

And good goodbye. Penis. This woman comes up to me and she says, hey, are you going to go skateboarding day on Sunday? And I said, I think so, yeah, and she said, well, my company, this is a lady doing PR. Okay. She says, my company has a bunch of merch that were given out to everybody here.

And I hope to see you wear it. And I said, I look through and I said, I don't think any of this is in my size. She said, well, do you have a brother or a friend you could give it to? No way. No fucking way. So begins my skateboarding journey, guys. Let's see what this says. I can't read it.

Now, I want you to put that on. All right. All right. I'll put it on. But also, this is in your size. This is in your size. You bought it for me? No, I didn't buy it.

You actually got it for free? Yeah. Yeah, they gave it. They had a big box. They had a big box that they put on the chair. But I bought this shirt today. My friend works at this store. And I went in.

I was like, oh, I need some. is the F-A store. My friend Cass works there, and I went in, I was like, I'm just here to get some bolts, but look at this, look at this cool shirt. It's got a Lou Reed shirt. Thank you, skateboarding. Yeah.

I feel pretty good in this. I can't lie. You look good. I feel pretty good in this shirt. Yeah. This is a nice shirt.