Podcast About List - Ep. 398 - The Environment is Full of Dangers Such as These Ones

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

Yup, this one's pretty much about the environment, the thing that's all around us, basically.Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

It's different. It's hollow. Patrick. He's gone. He's still at his house. He's fallen. Asleep. Yeah, he's still at his house.

This is not his house where he is. He's on the move. Wait, let me look. He's on the move, man. He's on the move? Unless his house is in the middle of an intersection, which I don't think it is. Our house in the middle of our street.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's see. Is it going to update anytime soon? He's definitely. He's somewhere, dude. You think he, I mean, it could just be that's the error of the, of the error. Find my friend's locations. Because sometimes it doesn't look like his house to me.

It gives you like a 30 foot kind of radius. I don't think he's within 30 feet of his house. You don't think so? I don't think so. Dude, tell me, to docks him. Tell me, please, about what is the best ride at Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida. Um, well, the, dude I was just saying this but I'm done I don't think I can do roller coasters anymore I'm completely done with them

do you think you've aged out of them or your body just can't you've done too much of them I don't think I ever I don't think I ever I think I deluded myself for one year I feel like I used to remember you being a roller coaster no I went to this is the second time I've been to a theme park that has like real roller coasters oh but you like the philosophy coaster yeah which is that was the first time I wrote that and I was like okay this is pretty sick I feel like I'd ride that one again But then this time I went to the new, it's the new area, the epic universe. And this stuff is, it's too intense for me. What kind of intensity are we talking? Are we saying loop-de-loop pretzels? Yeah, I didn't ride.

So they have a bunch of ones that spin around and such, and they have like some dark rides. I love dark rides. It was the dark ride that really got me. How is that possible? Those are usually the pretty tame. Because it goes like this, bro. Oh, oh, the swirling. The swirling.

So it's not a fear stomach egg. No, it's a physical gyration. The fear certainly doesn't help, but a dark ride I don't get feared. I get feared in terms of I'm feared. The name of it. Feared I would throw up. Well, and wait until you hear the name of this specific dark ride, which is monsters unchained. This is.

Yeah, and you think it was the spinning. It's about Dracula escaping. And you really think the spinning is what made you want to throw up and not the fear. And the ride, here's something crazy. The ride like shut down in the middle while we were riding it. Just part of it. the ride. No, everyone was like, is this part of the ride?

Is this part of the ride? But it wasn't part of the ride. That's terrifying. It went like and stopped. And there was like a voice that was like, the ride has stopped operating. Please like remain in the ride. It could start again at any moment. And then we just had to sit there for like a few minutes and then it started up again.

But it was right when I was feeling so nauseous and I was like, I need to get out of this immediately. And they made you just kind of sit in it for a while. I was literally like, I'm the ride thinking like, oh my God. This ride needs to end. I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up. This ride needs to end. And then it goes,

and I'm just strapped in and stuck. But the ride was very cool. The animatronics were really crazy. They had Frankenstein and Phantom of the Opera. And get this, they have a Donkey Kong area too. So I got to see some Donkey Kong animatronics. And I liked those.

Did you go to Super Mario World? Yes. That's the coolest thing ever. Really? Yeah. That is cool. The rides aren't that fun, but like it looks like you walk around.

Yeah. I'm in Mario. That's pretty cool. That was cool. Were you amazed at the size of the blocks? You know, I guess so. You know, they have the parts where you can jump up and hit the question mark blocks to get a coin. Yeah, yeah, I've seen this.

Don't they give you a wrist thing or something? You have to buy it. You don't just go there. There he is, motherfucker. And he's got some little headphones or something. These are his special headphones. Oh, okay. But these are all built for kids to hit the blocks.

So they're extremely short. So let me think, oh, Mario must be like, much smaller than scientists originally. Well, because he grows to be an average man, but for a while he's just sort of... Yeah, but even when he's an average man, he can fit under the blocks, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Is this about universal? This is about universal. Mario. Mario. You got to go to Mario Land. It basically seems to me like he, even as a grown man, he would be rather small.

So when you... So the size of the blocks, it's like, it's actually, I was surprised by the small. this or the Italian American. Italian American. Is he even American?

No, he's straight up Italian. He's straight up Italian. Except for in the film. I don't know if you guys saw the Super Mario Galaxy movie. I saw pieces of it on from someone seat back screen. I thought you were talking about the one with the Bob Hoskins. No, well, in that one, they're also Italian-American. They are Italian-Hawkskins and John Lugosamo.

John Lugazamo plays a week. He's British. John Lugazamo is not British. He's Mexican. You're thinking of the wrong guy that I'm talking about. Oh, Bob Hoskins. Yeah. He was British.

British? Yeah, look at him. That's one of the most British-looking guys I can't imagine anybody except Mario when I think about him. He'll use also a new friend Roger Rabbit. He doesn't look British at all. He doesn't look British at all. He was one of the most British-looking guys

of all the time. He plays New York, Italian-Americans in two different movies. The only two movies I've ever seen him in, I think. He definitely reads like, yeah. He reads like Fat Pensioner, bro. No. Yeah, he does. Look at that guy.

That is such a British-looking guy. guy. I can kind of see it on the left. No, look at his hair. Look at the way his hair. He looks like you. Look at the fucking hair on his body. Yeah, I'm fucking British and Irish.

No, you're not. Yeah, yeah. Look, you have that jacket. This one does not look British. The first picture looks, I could see it. This one I could see him. But this is not what he looks like in movies. No, in movies.

He doesn't make that face. That's him in a movie. No, it's not. Look at him in the far right. They don't put pictures of people in movies as the Wikipedia. That's the most British he's look. he played Smee? Yeah.

I don't know if this is the most British he's looked. This is the most British he's looked. Maybe Caribbean. That also looks like you. Yeah. This all looks like you, man. Yeah, I do look a little like Bob Hoskins. Like the what's the cool one where he's doing the sexy post?

Scroll up. The black and white one here, the signed one. Whoa. That's cool. Yeah, that's cool. But that's also Italian actor. He doesn't look British. Look how sexy this guy looks.

He's cool. I like the love pirate. He's called the Love Pirate. Oh my God. What a cool name for. him. The love pirate. Is that a movie or his nickname?

That's, I think his nickname. The love pirate. Oh, no, that's a blog, the name of a blog. I don't really like the connotations of a love pirate. Yeah. Love pirate sounds like a schoolyard word for a gay person.

Yeah. Well, it's because it's close to butt pirate. That's the TV censored version of butt pirate. Yeah. Like if they're showing a movie that says that and it's on Cartoon Network. They're showing the longest,

the longest mile. The longest yard. the longest yard. The Adam Sandler one. Yeah. Oh, yeah, the Adam Say, it's funny that that's a remake. Yeah.

That is a strange movie to remake with Adam Sandler. And they made it mostly about being around gay guys and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, being gay, being a prison wife in that movie, big thing. Yeah. In the original movie, it's not even there. No, I don't think they talk about it.

I mean, I've never seen the original, but I would assume. I remember watching the original because I liked the Adam Sandler one. so much and being like, wow, I really like the Adam Sandler one better. Yeah, I mean, it's funnier. Yeah. When you're a kid and you watch a remake like cheaper by the dozen, you watch the

original cheaper by the dozen, you're like, man, I'm fucking glad they remade this shit. It caters more to my youthful sensibilities. Okay, so let's finally, instead of just talking about these crap movies, can we clear the air about what? About what did you do last night?

My girlfriend got home really late. and I was on the phone with her and then tried to go to sleep, couldn't get back to sleep, and woke up really late. I also did Joe Box last night. And you didn't answer my phone call. I noticed when I called you 10 minutes ago. Yeah, it's because I was in the bathroom. My phone was charging.

What were you doing in the bathroom? Well, I was trying to shit, but it didn't come out. So really the shit is what made you late. It wasn't even sleeping in. No, no. I was sleeping in. And I was trying to clear myself out so that I I could. I have to say, too, that showing up late to something with this much coffee missing is

terrifying. Yeah. Because it can mean one of two things. Oh, really? Okay. Actually, it's a third even weirder thing. Yeah. It was in the fridge from yesterday.

Yeah. Joe made me run around in the rain yesterday. And I'm kind of sound a little sick. And I'm worried that you got sick. Did your feet get wet? Huh? Did your feet get wet? Yeah.

That's what they told you when you were a kid. That's what gets you sick. And I had to walk home. I had to walk home. and I wore shoes. I wore shoes that are like mostly mesh. Yeah. And I think you were your water.

Your water shoes? Uh-huh. I wore my water shoes out. Well, no, they became water shoes after the rain. You could have checked the weather and brought an umbrella.

There was one here, my blue umbrella, but someone took it. Interesting. Somebody took my blue umbrella also. So which one of you did that? Not me. I don't know me.

I got my own umbrella. I carry it around. But if you're going to pick one, it would be him because I don't use umbrellas. That's completely not true. Not using umbrellas is exactly the type of person who seals it because they don't have one when they need it the most. I have one in my backpack. I carry line all the time and I still don't use it.

But I left my blue one here. All of a sudden it's gone. It's not at my apartment. Uh-oh. So somebody in this office took my blue umbrella. I would say umbrellas are sort of the thing that you steal. Yeah. Most people have a stolen umbrella.

Oh, yeah. This is a stolen umbrella. I stole this from the bus. Yeah. So they usually end up being. Yeah. But from the bus. I had it for a long. long time. Usually it's a bar or something. No, it was on the bus. Because isn't that a little bit of a hack as you walk in and you say, hey, I left a black umbrella here. Yeah. And then they just give you an umbrella. Yeah, but this is a big Barnard College umbrella. Oh, from the bus. Yeah. It's a, it's a good one too. Solid umbrella. Yeah. I've had it. I've had it for, I'm pretty sure three years. And now it's missing. It's a long life. I've had my umbrella for many years and it's ass. It's the worst umbrella in the entire world. Let's get you an upgrade, man. We make it.

hate using an umbrella. They're all, they're all bad. At $30,000 a month, you will buy a new umbrella. Are we good with that? Sure. Sounds good. I think they got rid of the goals on Patreon. Bring that back, man. Yeah. No. Why? Because we met a goal. We never did it. Yeah, we did. We did. Junks. I guess so. Checkmated. Yeah. But why I want to make like a million dollar goal? Yeah. To buy you a second umbrella or something like that. What is a good, like a really good umbrella look like?

Dude, I feel like I'm getting painted into the corner here into Japan talk, but it really, they... It's the clear one that they have. It's the best umbrella. I see people have it. This whole conversation, I've been like, don't bring up Japan again, but really they got it over there. I really wanted to bring one home, but it wouldn't fit in my luggage. I was like, I just left it. You can probably get one.

I mean, I see people with them here. Kodamuji. I mean, you'd think you could. Well-dressed women with like long black hair always. have the... I feel like every umbrella here is bad. I feel like I've always gotten an umbrella and like this one's gonna be good.

It's always bad. You should go to Mugi or some Asian store. I just said that. I don't even know Mugi. You're on a 10 minute delay because you were 10 minutes late. I was earlier than you. I said it first.

I'll hear what you said 10 minutes from now. Every 10 minutes I will be caught up with what you said 10 minutes ago. This is high on pot and news, bro. He just high on pottenuse. I didn't high on pot and news. Yeah, you did. But it was actually not a joke.

It was just a good suggestion. Also, high on pottenoosing you, the good. guy who says hi on pot news first in that sketch is a fucking ugly dork. And the other one is Keegan Michael Key, one of the best balds on earth. Balls? Balls. Why you call him a ball? Bald.

He's bald. He's bald. You're calling him a ball for no reason. Jordan Peel's a big fat ball. That's literally, dude, you as a bald person calling another person a ball, that's fucked. You're saying that he's so bald, he looks like a ball. I could easily say that it's literally so. It wouldn't even be offensive if somebody.

That's so incredibly fucked. to say that to someone else in your community. You are ducking being bald. No. Yeah. I'm not ducking being bald. You call her a duckie ball? Yeah.

And I'm not even a duckie ball. You're a ducky ball. I'm not a ducky ball. Uh-uh. I'm not a ducky ball. Oh. Do you here? Ducky ball.

But no, I'm not ducking being bald. Bolds do need a, balds need a slur for monoxidil finasteride users. Yeah. We don't have one. They're really just normal guys. Chemicals.

Yeah. I mean Something about chemicals Fakeos It's not good Fanko Yeah that's terrible It sounds crazy

What a What a yeah Faky Oh why fake It's like Your life's fake You're a lie How about just lies

It's not really a lie It's a lie You're not the way God Has made you to be Okay So Or maybe not God You're teetering on

You're teetering on Christian Somebody who would say that to some other people. To homo gays? Yeah. To homo gays and transgenders. But God made them exactly like that.

No. That's not the argument that they made. He said, I'm not making that argument, though. Yeah, that's what you're shining like that. No. No, I'm not. I'm talking about balds.

I'm purely playing devil's advocate. That's what they say. The devil would never advocate for the Christian perspective. He's a bad red guy. Oh, but he would advocate for these evangelicals who have million dollar megachurches

who are pushing this agenda. And let's get into that. You think that that's... Why is there chocolate all over the floor? Joe Box. That's makeup, I think. No, no, that's chocolate. Really?

Why is it bloody crimson red? Okay, because there's fucking blood and gross brownness all over this cable. No, that's makeup. It's makeup. How do you know it's makeup? Because makeup was done right here and it showed up right after.

What is this? Makeup was done here. You saw it there and you didn't clean it up. I mean, look how nasty. I don't think you can see it on the video, but... Yeah, Joe needs to clean it. Look how gross.

Yeah. Joe made a cable. gross. Yellow and brown splotches. And the cable's already gross. It's giving. It's giving mushy banana, y'all. It's giving nanner.

I hate a mushy banana. I wish someone were giving me nanner. I was giving you mushy banana. Giving me mushy banana. I have an apple in my... I have an apple in my bag. I'm not that hungry. I got an apple in my bag.

I wouldn't eat an apple from your fucking bag ever. Why wouldn't you just have the apple over here? I don't know why you're putting it in a bag. Yeah, apple over. Yeah. You think I got to bring my apple with me? Yeah. to my backpack.

Bring your apple. Why are you hiding you having an apple? I'm not hiding. I'm packing it for lunch. Are you hiding it? I also have a sandwich in there and a cheese stick and a protein shake. A cheese steak and a sandwich? A cheese stick.

But it is a lot of food. I'm not going to lie. I've been overpacking because I did a massive, massive Costco order. $800. You've talked about this already. But now I'm I have so many snacks and shit that I'm just bringing them out of my house every time I leave just so I never ever go buy snack. I love snacking.

Me too. Oh, my God. A cheese stick. Dude, again, he's a cheese steak is a snack to him. It's not. I'm not saying cheese steak. You're crazy. But it depends on the side.

A cheese steak slider might be a snack, but not an entire. Not on a hero. That would, yeah. A sandwich and an apple and a cheese stick slider. Sounds good. Sounds like the perfect snack, man. It does sound pretty good, honestly. Yeah.

Steak slider does sound good. So you. have been to Universal Studios Orlando many times, right? Yeah, but not since 2019. So you haven't been to Mario. No. Mario's brand new. Mario's new from last year.

Yeah. I forgot to answer you. I think the best, the best, my favorite roller coaster that I rode was the How to Train Your Dragon one because it goes really fast, but it doesn't go. It's all new, bro. Oh. That you're right. There's a new park, isn't there?

Yeah. That's where Mario is. That's new. It goes really fast, but I don't go upside down or nothing. And it goes backwards for a second. I like the upside downers. I'm not. And the one that the big crazy one, I didn't ride because I was like, I was like, oh, it was

right after I rode the Monsters Dark Ride and I was feeling truly like I was going to throw up any second. I was like, I'm going to skip this one, guys. Maybe I'll ride it later. And then everyone who got off it said, dude, you made the right decision. You would have thrown up so bad because we made us all nauseous and we weren't even nauseous. What is this one?

It's called Stardust Racers. See, when I get to What character? No themeing. It's like it's like so basically this new Dude this new area like it's stupid This new park it basically has a big It's like a big it's called Epic Universe

It's a big like central area Where it's like kind of like unthemed Like just theme park themed And they have like that crazy roller coaster And they have like a carousel And then every other like world quote unquote is like through portals that like branch off from it Here's the thing I'll say

The POV of this coaster does not look crazy, but I get, I didn't ride it, so I can't confirm this, but everybody who got on it was like, yeah, that was too crazy for me, I didn't like it. This doesn't look that. They said, uh, oh, dude, it's like fucking, it looks like Magic Mountain a little bit.

Basically, it's, it's the end of it where it starts twist, it twists around in every direction, but it's one of the, it's one of these with two boosts like Veloccoaster, but apparently it ain't as smooth as Velascoaster. Oh, the smoothness is what you need. And it's dueling coasters. So see, they go side by side and they like loop over around each other.

You know what? And you're going hella fast here, I think. Yeah, it looks fast. This is a tribute. This is a tribute to the, uh, the coaster they took the Harry Potter coaster. They took away. Yes. To build this one.

The dueling dragons was awesome. This is an homage to G-Force. This is, uh, this one. Everyone says the first two-thirds of that roller coaster was really fun. And then the last third they felt like they were going to die. Oh, wait. And somebody did actually die on that roller coaster, which is another reason that didn't want to ride out.

D died of what? Uh, this is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. crazy. Okay. When you hear that somebody died on a roller coaster. Yeah.

I imagine getting for the head decapitation. You look it up and you want it to be like, oh, like, we did an investigation. We figured out what was wrong and we fixed it, right? This is what they said about this guy who died. This guy, he died from blunt force trauma. Whoa. Mystery. His femur was sticking out of his leg.

Jesus Christ. He was fully crumpled up and destroyed. And they investigated it. And they were like, yeah, it was an accident. We don't know why it happened. the coaster was running exactly as intended. What? Whoa.

This guy imploded? Yeah, and there still is just like, they're like, yeah, we don't know. And they kept the ride going? And it's still go. It's still the same. One in a hundred thousand people just dies mysteriously. I know. Isn't that fucking crazy?

Must be multiple blunt. They said, they said, yeah, ruled the death accidental and closed the case without criminal charges. They said that he, like, they did an investigation and he had already like banged his head like 10 times on the first hill. Okay. He did have spinal atrophy, though. Yeah.

But they, but I'm saying they did, they were like, it shouldn't have happened even with spot. That's what it like, they did a full investigation. They were like, yeah, none of this would have caused this. We don't know what caused this. We don't know why he died. Wow. I'm sorry. Rest and peace.

Yeah, it's actually insanely sad and tragic. I think his fiance was sitting next to him on the ride. Truly one of the most awful, awful things I have read about. And yeah, they were just like, yeah, we investigated it. So now, oops. It was an accident. We don't know. We don't know, man.

Get on this roller girl. A roller coaster system is always... One death for years way too many. That's not right. That's bad. My roller coaster system is basically if I get to a roller coaster theme park, I reset to being a one-year-old baby. And every roller coaster that I ride gives me one extra year of bravery to try to reach my current age. So that's weird.

Yeah, it doesn't... So you have to, what, you have to ride 40 roller coasters? You think I'm 40. Yeah. You're not 40? I'm 29 years old. You're an age regressing 40-year-old. No, I'm 29.

age regressing in public but I don't know in the bedroom not regressing I mean in terms of bravery age because bravery age is different from your physical age or your mental age I mean I've never been a roller coaster

braver and it was I think I only I went to Universal the one other time and I rode the Velasso coaster and I think the only reason I got on that one is because I did it first I was like fuck it yeah and then I was like

okay everything else is beneath this yeah yeah and then but then have like a few years pass and I'm like I don't I did find out that you can, you can injure your carotid artery, and it can cause, if you go on too many roller coasters, you can have a carotid artery dissection stroke. I know this is such a, I don't even know what type of person this is, but it certainly is an annoying type of person. But I am just like, there's truly, there's nothing to gain from getting on a roller coaster. There's a one in one million chance you're going to get brutally killed in some way that nobody was expected.

Or fly off of it. And the rest of it is, oh, I had fun for 30 seconds. I paid a lot of money to have a little bit of fun. Every time I ride a roller coaster, I've ridden so many roller coasters. I really was into them for a while. And I'm at a point with them where I am like kind of and hedonic after the first 10 seconds. For the 10 seconds, I'm like, yeah. And then I just kind of sit there trying to stay as still as possible for the rest of the ride.

And just like, okay, there's wind in my face. It's fine. I like when they boost. I can see what's happening. A boost or the ones that they get fake stuck. I hate the ones where they get fake stuck. Yes. Because I truly, my biggest fear is getting stuck on a fucking roller coaster.

I think you weren't here yet when I said this, but we got stuck on the dark ride, the monster's dark ride for like a couple minutes. Yeah. Because it's like, what's going on? Yeah, everyone thought it was part of the ride. Yeah. And I was like, this is not part of the ride because I watched a POV video. The two roller coaster things that still hold up to me are if it's a dark roller coaster

like Space Mountain because you don't know what's happening. Yeah. And then if you. You didn't go. I've been done five roller coasters in my whole life probably I've been to Canterby Lake Park

and then I've been to Universal two times I was a fiend I was a fiend at universal I was going to every ride and I only went to the one that had Veloccoaster and then this time I went to the new one and I still do like the bigger the giant drop I think is it holds up yeah that's very fun to me

once I found out about roller coasters that have the boost instead of getting like chained up I was like this these are cool you like boosting boosting is the most fun thing to me. You know, he keeps saying boosting. I really don't understand what that means. You don't, have you not been on a roller coaster that does this? It's the, like, it's the white paddles in the middle

of the track, and it's like a flat acceleration. Like, you go across a flat thing and you just accelerate from like zero to 60 or like, whatever. Have you never been on a mummy ride? Maybe I have. There's an acronym. I've done that on, on

Disney on the aerosmith ride, I think. Maybe I'm not no longer the aerosmith ride on their incorporation. bring the Muppets into it. Oh, I thought it was a Guardians of the Galaxy or something. Oh, are that? Is that what they're doing? No, no, the Tower of Terror is the Guardians of the Galaxy now.

Why? I don't know. They changed Tower of Terror where it's... Oh, wait, I actually have been to Disney. It's not Twilight Zone. I've never been to Disney. I've seen POV videos. Because I went on Tower of Terror and it was Tower of Terror.

That was a few years ago. Yeah, they changed a couple years ago. I guess is the one in L.A. or Anaheim, right? Yeah. I think actually both of them are now. That's stupid. It seems like they don't know what to do with their parks. Universal, they know what to do with their parks.

Dude, they just did the, they made the greatest theme park ride of all time. Which one? The Star Wars thing. Oh, yeah, but that's a fluke. They, Universal just tried to make their own version of this at this new park. They have a Harry Potter like version of it. Yeah. And that's what the Harry Potter sucks.

It sucks. It sucks. It's all screens. Yeah. It's like, there's a few cool parts, but it's 90% you're in, you're sitting in the big, yeah, like, you're sitting in like a Tower of Terror style like booth thing. And there's just you like move and then, you, you, like, move. and then you move in front of a screen,

and then it's like Harry Potter going, watch out! Yeah, and it goes like... The Star Wars one has live actors. But it's clearly them trying to be like... It's so awesome. I know, the Star Wars one is cool.

It's so fucking cool. That is, I think that is the best non... I guess that, yeah, non-thrill ride. I think it's the best ride ever. I think Veloccoaster is the most fun I ever had riding a ride. I love the theme part of a theme park. That's what's cool about this new, uh,

epic universe is they have like the Mario area is so sick they have universal monsters area which is really cool because it's like a gothic village and they have like walk around characters and stuff and then they have how to train your dragon which I don't really know anything about but it looks cool like all this stuff is themed

really like it looks really cool and that's the one like I think it's so it's so like fucking stupid like it's all like multiverse themed like you walk through a portal to get in and I think that's so dumb but what is cool is you walk through and you get they like you have like the view framed with like all it's like an open world video game you're like oh where am i going to go how many how many

dorks did you see at super mario world adult dorks um dude that's the backbone of the whole place i would say a decent amount i was i was more uh paying attention to all the little mario characters that even found the pickman hello pete they had and they have a whole donkey con country section which was what i was the most excited about yeah hello miss donkey and they had rambi they had donkey con they had ditty con they had Dixie Kong, they had cranky Kong, and they had squawks. This was the kind of thing. No Kitty Kong, no funky Kong. These were the things that I was being told about

because it was being built the last time I went there. And I was being told about this by my exes. Fucking torture. Dude. To sit there and watch them stack the fucking the pipes and the bricks. Seeing like we caught a glimpse of like some Mario shit. Oh my God. What the fuck was that?

What was that? Speak up. You have to say what that was. It scared of. Is that squawks? Good morning, beautiful. That was a really scary cuckaloo. I didn't hear it.

You didn't hear it? I didn't have my headphones. I heard it actually. I heard it and it sounded like it was a bird outside. Yeah, it was very, very loud. Yeah. What were we saying even before? I don't know.

The whole episode's been ruined. We should just end it here because of him. Okay. Yeah, seeing all that shit getting made. My ex's little brother telling me about it. I'm like, he's like, dude, they already have it in Japan. Pan. Yeah.

Yeah, that hurts. The Donkey Kong ride was cool, but it wasn't that fun. Yeah. It's cool. Like you jump off the track, and you, like, jump from track to track, like a mine cart level. Oh, that's sick. And I was kind of bummed because, I mean, it makes sense, but it's all the Donkey Kong stuff is themed after, like, Donkey Kong country returns and tropical freeze. And it's not, like, old Donkey Kong, which obviously makes sense.

Did you play the newest Donkey Kong? The Switch 2 one? Yeah. It looks good. People love that game. It looks fine. It looks cool, but it's not, it's not, it's not what I want. Couldn't get me to buy a Switch 2.

No. And I need, I want, I'm a 2D Donkey Kong Country Fiend. 3D is completely 2.5D. Switch 2, yeah. That's as high as I'll go. Switch 2, yeah, I'm going to switch to my computer emulated in a couple years. Yeah, probably will be emulatable quite soon. They don't have, they don't really have, Nintendo does not have

have powerful systems. has been fully amelitable for so long. It's such a crazy. You just would not expect that to be possible. The thing runs in friggin' 720p. It's true. I guess it is a terrible console. 720 p.

in the year 2020s. Okay. I don't touch my switch. I don't know. Yeah, I gave my switch away to my younger sibling. It's the worst console ever made. Yeah. It's so awful.

But it does have amazing games on it. That was the first thing. When I got a job in college and I had some money, I was like, I'm buying a fucking switch. Let's go. I did it too. And I was so. excited about it for a while and I was like

what is there even to do yeah I basically just play NBA 2K on it and it and it plays like the versions of games that are on other other consoles that then they port to the switch are like phone game versions totally yeah like nothing they run like shit I don't think it even had

like online play or any of that shit it had online play but you have to pay for Nintendo Switch online no but I mean and I keep forgetting to shut it up I didn't have like the my part and shit and all that I keep forgetting to shut that because every time that I... Yeah, I think I still pay for it.

You guys are still paying. 60 bucks a year. 60 bucks a year. And then in the middle of sometime in the middle of May, I'll like have a reminder on my phone and still forget to like shut it off. And then that like in June, I was playing the switch a little bit.

I was playing Pokemon Arceus because the fucking, I had just gotten the notification and then the fucking charge went through. I was like, all right, might as well start playing this again. Is that even a multi-player? No, no, I'm just like, you know,

there's like downloadable shit. it or whatever, or there's like, I think it's like a weird thing with Nintendo where it's like, or no, I have the Nintendo 64 emulator on it now. Oh, do you need online for that? Yeah, you need online to access that. I got online because of Super Mario Maker.

That shit was fun as fuck. We played a lot of that in college. Yeah, that was a great game. But I just can't like, and I, when I was playing PlayStation again, every time I'm reminded that console people need to pay for online, I'm like, this is fucking crazy.

I can't believe that they still do that. I can't believe it still exists. It's nuts. It's insane that you have to pay for fucking PlayStation Plus. And truly like the fact that console gamers are not constantly screaming about this at all, they're fucking, they're cheap. They're really rolling in the mud all day. That's why cod lobbies were so violent.

Because they locked their out. They're thinking about, oh my God, I'm paying fucking, I'm paying like $12 a month for this shit. But they all pay so much money and they just pretend they're not because they're embarrassed. I also wouldn't my nobody would let me use their credit card when I was a kid so I had to go pay for the cards Xbox

like cards and cash yeah and then he would run out and then it would be like three days before I ended up going back to CVS or whatever yeah and I just wouldn't have my Xbox Live man it was fucking sad my brother turned in all of our like old consoles like he he went to this place called play and trade and he gave away or like Nintendo 64 like two game cubes and like all the games and then he got to use Xbox but didn't have enough to buy any games. So I was playing the Leffordead 2 demo for three months.

Yeah. Three months Leffordead 2 demo, which was multiplayer. It's a good demo. Yeah, that and the cod5 multi, the cod5 demo. You don't really get demos anymore like that, I don't think.

No, you don't. You get like... The worst was the skate demo because they gave you 10 minutes to play it. Yeah, that's fun. And you'd have to just reset. Yeah. That's like two songs.

Yeah. Yeah. The songs I'm listening to it. when I'm playing skate. Oh, yeah. The wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. And sublime what I got two times. Yep, that's, yeah, what,

the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald is like seven minutes. Yeah. What I got, that's a pretty short song. Mm-hmm. You could probably squeeze that in right there. So today's episode, we said, what do we say? I said, what should we do for the episode tomorrow?

And you said, Caleb, let's do an episode about the environment. He said Caleb. What should we do the episode about it? Caleb said Caleb. So let's do one about the environment, I guess. Okay. I just wonder what you were thinking about when you said that.

I was just thinking about the environment is so important to me. And as... An episode from the heart, kind of. Yeah. Well, but also... Caleb's environment special. But also from the hands, the hands lead the heart. We're trying to get some activism.

Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. Like what? Like, we should just be... Like, let's pick up a piece of trash. Everybody pick up one piece of trash right now. These are full.

These are full. There's trash in it. There's literally a trash right in front of you. This shirt is trash. No, it isn't. Poison Idea. A bunch of fat guys. A bunch of fat guys.

Look up a picture of the poison idea. Guys, they are huge. They're huge and fat. Dude, they're like... The skinniest... The skinniestest member of that band was 500 pounds. I bet. I think I got the only piece of trash.

Yeah, you don't have a piece of trash. That's my hat. You can't just pick up my stuff. I thought there was something under it. No. Why would I hide... trash under my hat. It's so wet. Yeah. Yeah. It's sweaty, man.

Yeah. Why do you think it's off my head? You'll sweat it up. It's all that much? Yeah, I'm a sweaty guy and I have no hair to sop it up with. Yeah, you do. You didn't shave your head this morning. That is true. I have a little bit of hair. Yeah. If you were environmentally conscious more, you would not shave your head at all and you would have the horses. True. Hair is pollute. Hair is not. Hair does pollute my landlord's pipe. Yeah. I got a drain-o it all the time. Yeah. I don't really know.

how you're supposed to do with the hair. Yeah, my, because when I shave, my bath, I learned my bathroom sink can't handle the hair, so I put it into my kitchen sink, and it seems it's been fine so far. But are you, aren't you, I feel like I've seen other people shave where they have like a paper towel in the sink or something,

but I don't understand how to do that. That's like, I think, I, I, that's if, I would do that if I'm, like, doing a fully dry shave, like, I'm using, like, an electric razor. Oh, okay. And then you, you just catch all the hair. But I don't think you can, you can't do it if you're wetting it up.

Like, if you're shaving cream is, falling down. Maybe you could, I guess. I don't know. I've never tried it, but. You know what I've done sometimes? I put a bunch of hot water in a bowl and I've shaved while I watch TV and then I put it in the toilet, like poop. That's what I, that's what I, that's what I, I should put it in the toilet. Yeah. Then when your landlord inspects your apartment and he sees that you're putting hair in the toilet. He climbs down my toilet pipe. Are you pooping hair? Yeah. What is this? It's my business if I'm pooping hair. Yeah, that's not something a landlord can ask. No, your landlord's not doing that to you guys? I'm happy if my Lord has to you don't have. You don't

have weekly, you don't have weekly inspection. Asking me if I pooped a goldfish? Yeah. No. Well, like the snack. Oh, yeah, I have done that. But they usually digested by that. No, I hope not. I hope that my...

That would be really bad in the indicator of my health. And it was four full goldfish. If I, if my stomach couldn't break down a fucking goldfish, that would be really bad, I think. You've eaten too many tons. Your stomach acid is just completely basic. Mm-hmm. It doesn't work. It doesn't work anymore.

It doesn't digest food, so it's just water down there. Yeah. That would be really sad. Even then, the goldfish, it would be surprising for it to be intact. Yeah. Because it would sog up. You would think it would sog. Because goldfish does not do well.

That would be a really good magic trick for a gross magician. I've tried to do savory cereal. Who's the grossest magician? You've got to be Penn and Teller. Yeah. Gross? Do you think they're just gross? Physically?

Yeah. Yeah. They're like not sexual. He has a gross ponytail. I don't. think he has the ponytail anymore. But he has that

sort of John Goodman, skinny John Goodman kind of of neck. I guess, you know, maybe this person

does exist, but I feel like there is kind of of a very perfectly shaped hole in the culture for like a jackass style disgusting magician

who's doing bodily fluid grossness. Makes his balls appear in his mouth. Yeah. There is. Stuff like like pooping tricks

and stuff like that. I feel like that's like that's like that could really take off. Somebody should corner that. Somebody was good at that. I did see a video of some guy,

I think he's in India and his trick is that he can ingest a bunch of water and spit it back out into a big picture of a... Oh, I think I've seen that. I think I've seen that. I definitely showed you guys. That's not quite gross. That's kind of a normal magician.

That's like David Blaine kind of stuff. It would be like if he could like drink water and then spit out pee. It is just the same trick, but you just would be amazing. It is green. I haven't seen this version. I think it goes in green. Yeah, well. Yeah.

I guess that's to prove that it's the same water. Yeah. Because it's like he couldn't have drank green water before. This is the only green water in India. And he says that by the way. This is the only green water in all of India. We only have this. We only have this one green water here.

Green water. Sounds like we're itching to talk about the environment. Yeah, it does. So environment, it's good. But also, it gets, it's the bad things are happening. to it, the environment. So I think, I don't know. List all the bad things happening to the environment.

So obviously, climate change is a major effector of the environment. I don't think we can, you know, let's not beat around the book. Let's not beat around. Let's not beat around. Let's say the scientific fact that climate change is affecting it. Affector. Is it an effect. One of the effectors of the environment. Man made climate change.

That's even worse. Yeah. Yeah. So there's manmade and nature made. We're counting that as one still. Well, we want to bundle that together? Yeah. I think we can bundle it.

Oh, okay. That's fine. There's also polluteds. Pollutants. Pollutants. Okay. Yeah. Pollutants are terrible.

Yeah. For the environment. Polluted, pollute it. Yeah. Little two-legged nerds style. Why are we wasting our time with the spotted lantern flies. Yeah. Kill the pollutants.

What are these things doing? Pollute it. Pollute it. Gatorade bottles. Hobo. That's three. Hobos crapping. Gatorade bottles is number three.

Climate change. pollute it and gatorade bottle? And hobo's crapping. Hobo crap. Yeah, hobo crap releases methane. Wait, what are the top floor of problems? Or what is this even a list of? Of the worst things for the environment.

Gatorade bottles, because that's a thick plastic. Yeah. You know, like 20 years ago, they switched all the water bottles to be the ones that you could shoot a bottle cap with when you twist it. Yeah. They haven't done that with Gatorade. Yeah. What's that about?

And you can't even twist a Gatorade bottle. Hell no. That's like fucking ripping a phone book in half. That's another good magic trick for somebody. Twist a gatorade. If you can twist a gatorade bottle, you're strong or your magic is one of those two. Sometimes I feel like magic can just be being strong. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? Like when someone is like levitating like on a finger or something, it's like, well, that's just strong. That's just strong. And it's surprising strength because if you're a big strong guy, you go, well, of course he can levitate. But if you're a skinny, skinny little twig. If you saw a really skinny twig, why? walk out and he said like I'm about to levitate on my finger and he was so skinny and scrawny and shrimp like but he had one really buff finger yeah again I'd write that off I'd say well you clearly

you've done finger training yeah you may not train the rest of your body but you're dedicated with your fingers a guy who a guy comes out he's buff as fuck he's Arnold Schwarzenegger style yeah he says I'm going to hold myself up in the air you go big whoop big man no who cares and he take his fingers are atrophied and scrawny and he holds himself up and he's going to hold myself up in the air up on a boney, one bony finger. See, he's heavy. That's way more impressive. It's actually less impressive for the scrawny guy to

weigh less. It's way less impressive. He weighs so much less. Less impressive for scrawny guys to do anything. Fucking string bean ass motherfucker. Yeah, I hate string beans. Yeah, there's no point to them. Dude, seriously, either eat a bunch of

butter or do something else. Okay, other things about the environment. The sun is five? Or yeah, the sun is hot. And it's getting hot. Or it's affecting us in a hotter way. Maybe I would say instead. Discuss that.

The sun's getting hot. What do we got to say about that? Oh, it is summer. Yeah. Oh, the summers are getting hotter too. Well, we already kind of talked about. We did climate change. Oh, yeah.

But also. Summer change. Well, but, okay, for the environment, though, fossil fuels, they got to go. I, I've been seeing more and more leaves falling off trees. Yeah. Almost every year, I think I see a tree, like, losing. When I was a kid.

When I was a kid, autumn would be, autumn would be, you maybe see five or six leaves. Yeah. But not every leaf would fall off the tree. No. Now, every leaf is going. Right. And there are fewer species now than there were 800 years ago.

Well fewer. Yeah. Well fewer. The dodo is long gone. The dodo. Oh, that's the other thing, extinctual animals. Extinctuans. What's the last extinction?

I wish polluted were extinctians. Me too. Let's extinct pollute. What's the last extinct? Yeah. What's the most recent extinct animal? You want to hear something. tragic. We probably don't even know.

Yeah. Because it died. There are many animals that have gone extinct that we weren't even aware existed. Okay. Then what's the most recent extinct amoeba? Extinct amoeba? Probably the zigzag. Probably the zigzag. Ameba. The zigzag amoeba? The one that looks like a squiggle. Yeah. Squiggles have been gone for a long time. Squiggles are extinct. It's sad to say. Squiggles are going extinct.

Yeah, it's really sad to say. I would say the giant squid and the locknest monster. It's the opposite. They discovered it. But the Cracken, though. Yeah. He's gone. The Cracken's long gone. No, he's. No one really, no one really has problems with Cyclopses anymore either.

Dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are gone. They've been gone for a long time. Except for the noble chicken. The noble chicken and his cousins. Yeah. Many people would tell you. Hey, there's one, there's one dinosaur that's refusing to go extinct.

Mitch McConnell, apparently. Oh, damn. Apparently, he's alive. But I don't believe it. One dinosaur, sadly has been confirmed to be extinct. Lindsay Graham. Nancy Guthrie.

Oh. Did you? We didn't speak about this news when it broke, but they sent a letter that she is dead. Oh, no. Of course. She was my favorite dinosaurs. Poor dinosaurs.

It's very, very unfortunate. I'm sorry to say, man. That is the weirdest story, I think, of the last couple years, because then that's how I learned who Savannah Guthrie was. You didn't watch it today. show growing up? Well, she's

like a new Today Show anchor. She'd been on the Today Show, I think, my whole life. No. I've been watching. It was Lauer and it was Koric. She was on with them, motherfucker. No, she wasn't. Yes, she was. No, she's new. Her tenure, I would guess,

started in about 2008. 10 years ago when I stopped watching it. Probably when she got on. I watched a lot and I mean a fucking lot of the Today show. So you took that Lauer news hard. I was never a Lauer guy. I was never a Lauer guy. I was, I basically only like...

You could always tell something that was off with him. I only like Kathy and Hoda. When I was a kid, I thought he was Steve from Blues Clues' older brother. And I thought Blue's Clues is for me and the Today Show's for my mom and it's two brothers who run those shows. You always are creating little truths for yourself and this is something that persists

even into today. What? 2011. 2011? Yeah. See, that's, that's some time ago. Yeah, it is some time ago. Isn't that what you said it was new? You said it was new. that's some time ago he's right i watched it sometime i loved kathy and hodokai she called it back in the day show i saw hodotah were great you saw hodicotia yeah on the train platform a few years ago i didn't know

who she was at the time whoa and my wife was like that's hodicapby and i was like pardon i love her she's great i really love her now i love it now that know who she is and i've seen all the videos of her lip-sinking and singing she's amazing being just a funny fun she's a funny fun she's a funny fuck She's a funny fuck. Hoda got me. She's a funny fuck. She's a fucking funny. One fucking funny.

She's just fucking funny, man. I don't know what to tell you. You're a fucking funny. You're a funny fuck. Hoda. Hoda. Hoda. Got me.

You're a funny fuck. Come here. I think she. Come here. You're fucking funny. She really. You're fucking funny. I loved her.

I mean, Kathy was the star. She's what a TV host should be. I agree. drunk. Yeah. And Wendy Williams. Wendy Williams. But she had some crazy...

She has been locked away. She was locked away for some time. They walked her in a room and she was out the window going like, help me. Who's they? Who trapped? I don't know. Her conservatorship. She has a conservatorship?

She did, but she's recently gotten out of it. Because she, I think she was like, they were saying she was getting like early onset dementia. Yeah, something crazy. She was going crazy. They put her ass in a room. I mean, there's worse places to be. They locked her up and she was screaming. They were saying she was getting early onset dementia.

but then she started, I think she started coming out of that, or like I think it was a cured of it. You know, not to be rude, but I would totally believe that she had early on September. Oh, yeah, she was out of her mind. Yeah. I believe it too. If there's anybody who, like, medically needed to be locked in a room for a short period of time, I'm not surprised. I believe it. I believe it.

Yeah. But they used to just be, I mean, Hoda and Kathy were getting drunk on TV. They were getting drunk on TV in the 70s in this Hollywood Squares show. I don't know of this show. They would be drunk and on cocaine. Look at his shoes and socks. Wow. He looks completely the same color.

Your shoes and socks. They're the same color. It's never, it's like, it's like, can I say something? I think it's what it is, is that everything else you're wearing has like, is like very, like, there's no black. Like the black, it's like you change the black point. And then your shoes and socks are very dark and black. And it naturally draws the eye. So you're saying my Air Force ones look extra black.

It feels like you got left out in the sun and got bleached and your ankles were below a pillow or something under a blanket. That is one of the most interesting things I've ever heard about myself. Do you not agree? Is that I look sunbleached save my feet. Look, stand up. Like, look, this shirt is like not black. It's gray. And then this stuff is so dark.

Shirt is not black. Borat reference. Okay, I like the borat. I don't, except for that. His colors, their colors are washed out. You're calling him washed. You're calling him washed. Why are you calling him washed? Except for your dark-ass feet.

I really feel like I'm being attacked in a way that I can't defend myself. I'm not even trying to attack. You don't even need to call him washed. But when you walked over there, I was like, damn, look at your shoes and socks. And I was trying to think why that. Why it was so I catch him? And I was just trying to explain. I'm not even meant to.

Because the rest of my clothes are not black. Yeah. I do like borat. I really do like borat. But I'm right about all that. No. Yeah, I would say you are. I'm right about that.

Why don't we do a today's show thing? We should be right now. Get drunk in the morning off a white wine? No, but that's the last hour. Oh, okay. That's the last hour. That's, yeah. Fourth hour, I think.

Yeah, like noon. No, I think it starts at 10 or 11. Oh, okay. I've always wanted to do that, man. Today show? We have windows. People can. could be out,

do a news show. I mean, we do have people that do that. One of those bullshit news shows. Yeah. Yeah,

we could do a news show. Usually, I would, I've always wanted to do that. I'd love to interview. The gist. Oh, for the gist.

The gist. I would love to interview an adult piano prodigy. Somebody who just learned piano recently. So you've been playing for two weeks. Yeah. Go ahead and play a little something. Oh my God.

Wow. August, Augustina, Boston? Wow. I haven't heard that song in years. That's a song? I thought you were naming the person. No, no, that's like an early 2000s hit.

By who? Sing it, though. Augustina. Just sing it. It's like Augustina, Boston. There's a new Boston song that people don't like. Yes, because she is Nepo, I think. Well, it's either that she's Nepo or that she is taking Whitney Houston's record.

On the train of the Boston money, seven, every day. Yes, this girl, her dad is a billionaire. That doesn't mean you can't make amazing songs about cities. Where's the line for you in terms of richness of the parent? Richness of the parent, I think, is billionaire. I don't care if you're like an actor's kid. Yeah. What's going to take on Gracie Abrams?

I think whatever. Actors kid also. I think she gets too much shit. I don't like her music at all. I think it sucks. Jay J.J. Abrams' daughter. Yeah. What kind of music she makes?

Bad music. Taylor Swift style music. Yeah. Taylor Swift music. Old Taylor Swift. Oh, well, I like that old Taylor Swift. I don't think. Actually, middle.

Middle. Yeah, no, no, no. Like 2014. Like, like Taylor Swift. Like, like after that. I see. But not current. I think she gets too much shit, but I don't think her music's good.

I think we need to find a middle ground. Here's my, here's my admit is that people always post that one song and say this song sucks. And I listen to it. And I go, I like this song. Yeah. But the music video is weird because she's screaming in it.

Yeah. And then the song is like, I know. Yeah. I like that song, man. It gets stuck in my head. Yeah, I mean, but I saw a video of her, and it's like, the interviewer's like, so what do you say to everyone who's just saying that you're like just a Nepo baby?

And she's like, yeah, you know, like, certainly my parents are both in the industry. And I definitely benefited a lot from that. And that's, it's like a 10 second video. Yeah. It's like, why do they even ask this question? What are they supposed to say in either direction? Like, I want them to, they have to either be like, you know what? Like, fuck you.

But like Jamie Lee Curtis, you know, she's like, you don't know what you're talking about. I think that's kind of the issue is that the NEPO babies are so well media trained. Exactly. Where like that you don't get like a crazy ass like. There was such a crazy ass. There was a big. There was. The thing is that everybody, it was once NEPO baby became like a term and everybody started

asking all the NEPO babies what that was. Yeah. Like what they felt about it. Then everybody had to rush to their PR person and like get like a statement ready for like, now I feel like they. get asked it on purpose because they want to say their thing. I want somebody grabbing the camera. Fuck you.

But when that was first going to be big, I feel like there was a lot. I feel like there was a lot of Nephi's room. Like, that's so fucking stupid. Yeah. Because they just didn't expect to be asked that. Yeah.

And that was, we need to go back to that. That's good. That's good. That's entertaining. Yeah, exactly. I like to see people prickle up. Like, yeah, you do suck.

Yeah. Yeah. You got a... You know what it is funny, though, when it's like somebody that is a Nepo, but like, collectively as a society we're like,

we love your dad or we love your mom. And it's just like, okay, like Jack Quaid or like Cooper Hoffman. Well, but Cooper Hoffman has a dead dad sort of cancel out.

Yeah. It raises that effect even more. I would say it's a doubler more than a cancel out. But then he's also like, yeah, my dad was awesome.

Yeah. That's what I mean. Everybody likes him because of his dad and then that's doubled because his dad is dead. Has he, wait, what movies has he done besides?

I want your six, the Gregor Rackie movie. Was the Long Walk good? It was fine. It was... Wasn't it like a dumb-ass movie? It was okay. It's a mid-movie.

Oh, okay. But he's really great at... He's fine. He's a charismatic guy. He's just good in all the stuff he's in, truly. I mean, he's got the dad... You know, I think the thing is, too, I think in terms of Nepo Babies,

I think it's like, if you're doing the same thing that your parent did, I think that's good. Like, if you're like an actor, you have an actor, that's what it's... But like, someone like, like, Gracie Abrams or whoever, where it's like, your dad is like the most... It's like a famous director.

Like, I'm going to be... It's like, Oh, that means that your dad paid for you to do this. You know what I mean? As opposed to you learn. Go make a movie. Yeah. How about you go make a fucking movie, Gracie Abras?

Go direct fucking. Go direct a new Star Wars. Dumbass. Stop making fucking movies. Yeah, Super 9. Super 9. Or fucking Star Trek. Yeah.

Star Trek. He did Star Trek with that really handsome actor. I think that's the most handsome actor. Better Dick Cumberbatch? No, not Better Dick Cumberbatch. Anton Yelchen. No, not Anton Yelchen. The main character.

Chris Pine. You think Chris Pine is the most handsome guy I've ever seen. He is terrifying. He is terrifying. I think he is. That is like, you really think that? I really think that's like that like makes me not respect you.

Why? He's so fucked up looking, dude. I think he's, I think he's a good looking guy, but I like when he has long hair. I'm like, wow.

Look at him, bro. Look at him, man. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Look, this is a crayon drawing, man. He's good looking, dude. This is not like what a human is supposed to look like.

He looks like. It looks really good in the Wet Hot American Summer series. He's also, here's what I'll say, he's gotten worse and worse looking over time. He's aged. He's getting some work done in a scary way. Oh, oh, okay. I'm thinking him in Star Trek, he's good looking. Yeah, yeah.

In Star Trek, he's good looking. Chris Pine, 20, oh, you did search Chris Pine, 2026. Do Chris Pine Star Trek. Let's see what you think. Let's see what I think. The original Star Trek. Is that Daker Montgomery? Look at him, man.

Yeah. Come on. Yeah. I could see it more. See, he looks a little more normal here. But that's, okay. Here's the thing, though. You get...

I don't know. I don't know about him, man. It kind of looks like a sexy athlete. If he was around me, I don't think I would ever turn my back on it. Yeah. Well, they're not if he was pointing that fucking laser gun at you. Okay, this one he looks fine in. Look, he's so cute.

Yeah. But now he's got this beard. He looks good with the beard and long hair. I do think... He does kind of look like he had a cleft lip or something. Yeah, the eyes, the nose and the philtrum. Yeah. Yeah, he looks like Johnny football, dude.

This is what every football player in a movie is supposed to. to look like. And to get him to be Captain Kirk, though, to be... You know what he looks like? He looks like Starship Troopers, bro. He should be in the Starship Troopers remake. Yeah. But getting, getting fucking him to play Captain Kirk to be William Shatner, one of the weirdest looking guys of all time.

I thought he was good looking. Yeah. Kind of. He got weird looking with age. Okay, the two sexiest. William Shatner old, it's like you see him young versus old and it's like he's like doing this and like his body is protruding. His mind has gotten strange.

Sexy as actor, young Paul Newman. Yeah. He was sexy. Okay. What's your favorite band? The Beatles? But also him and young Marlon Brando look exactly the same to me. I can't tell the difference.

Dude, mid-life Marlon Brando where he was like a little fat. He was getting fat. And he just like before he completely like was like, I've never seen really fat cheeseburgers. Oh, dude. Look up. What's that movie? It's not Dr. Melfy.

What's the Dr. M. The island of Dr. Moreau. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Marlon Brando on this. He looks like a... This is the Richard Stanley one, or is this from... But he's still...

He's not like crazy fat to me in this. This... I mean, he's also... Oh, yeah, he is like that. I can't tell... I can't tell what's going on here. He's also in Uncle Vester makeup. That's pretty much what he looks like.

Oh, man. Walking around like this. Yeah. Walking around like this. Like, oh my God, I saw Marlon Brando on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday.

It's like, how do you know it was him? Oh, I know it was him. Oh, buddy. I fucking know that was Marlon. This is a fresh outfit, man. Yeah.

He does look cool. He looks like Newt Gunray. He does. He does. But this is like, this is just, this is just old John Goodman fat. Maybe not even that fat. Yeah, I know. He wasn't, it wasn't like the most insane.

How did you possibly get this? But it was different back then, bro. It's also when you come from being like a handsome young actor. To being an old fat ball. To be an old fat ball. It's like people are like, you were supposed to stay the same. Why are you not? Why are you not?

And that's why so many people are getting like Botox and stuff so that they don't, because it's a Marlon Brando thing. Everyone's other reaction to Marlon Brando. You know what it is? It's also, Marlon Brando, Elvis, these are guys who grew up when food was kind of hard to get. And then you get rich. Yeah.

And you're like, and you're just, yeah, and also the food was bad. Food started, food started getting good in the 70s. Like right when they could start affording it. Yeah, yeah. You know?

Food was like in the 50s, it was like mashed potato, would just butter, no salt. Elvis grew up, probably eating sawdust and shit. And then he, and somebody showed him peanut butter when he was 35. Hey, hey, we can combine the peanut butter and the bacon.

Yeah, oh, good idea, Elvis, yeah. Hey, what don't we put it on a big loaf of bread? Yeah, let's do it. Hollow out the whole bread. I do like that they specify that he would pull the bread out to make more room for bacon and peanut butter. Yeah. You would eat a panera bread bowl. He made a salad stiffer.

Did I tell you I had one? Yeah, you did? Oh, it's terrible. You need a message Jake Shane right now and tell him that you love to. I don't really know who that guy is. Is that the guy who's in the commercials? Yeah. DM him on Instagram right now.

Jake Shane. Yeah. Say and dictate it. Say, dear Jake Shane, I had the salad stuffer at Panera bread and tell him your thoughts. Because he has been champion. Pass that puss. Pass that puss. That's him.

Okay. Let him know. Let him know what you think about the Panera salad. Dear Jake Chain. Period. I recently had a Panera. What's it called? Panera.

Salad. Panera bread salad stuffer. What flavor? Caesar salad flavor. Period. I ordered it specifically because I seen a commercial on you that you did about eating one of them. Period. Just wanted to say, thanks for the recommendation.

Wasn't my favorite thing on the menu. But congrats on the commercial. But congrats on the commercial. Can't wait to see what you do with Panera in the future. Can't wait to see what you do with Panera. in the future. Here's to many more commercials. Maybe macaroni. Maybe macaroni, question mark.

Champagne-flavored macaroni. Champagne flavored macaroni, question mark. Champagne emoji. Macaroni emoji. Anyway, that's me. I'm Caleb. Anyway, a little bit about me. My name's Caleb Pitts, period.

You might have heard about me. I'm a huge Panera bread fan. I'm a huge Panera bread fan and my lifelong goal is an unlimited gift card. I used to post on weird Twitter. Think you could help me with that? I used to post on weird Twitter. I used to post on weird Twitter.

Well, this message is getting a little long. Well, this message is... It's getting a little long. Let's be honest with ourselves. But at the end of the day, you're a legend. And I don't mind writing a longer message than average. Goodbye. P.S.

so it now said OMG I'm so sorry I didn't mean to send P SOMG I'm so sorry I didn't mean to send that My brother grabbed my phone Brough I must have sat on my phone P S I want charged lemonade

Back Can you talk to Panera P S I want charged lemonade back Can you put in a good word And that's I mean That's just how you get stuff That's called cold calling Yeah

This is how you get stuff done in this industry Absolutely This is what it ended up saying. Dear Jake Shane, I recently had a Panera, Panera bread salad stuff or Caesar salad flavor. I ordered it specifically because I seen a commercial on you that you did about eating one of them. Just wanted to say thanks for the recommendation. Wasn't my favorite thing on the menu, but congrats on the commercial here. Can't wait to see what you do with Panera in the future.

Here's to many more commercials. Maybe macaroni? Question mark. Champagne flavored macaroni, question mark. Champagne emoji. Macaroni emoji. Anyway, a little bit about me. My name is Caleb Pitts.

You might have heard about me. I'm a huge Panera bread fan in my life on gold. is an unlimited gift card. Think you could help me with that? Are you supposed weird? Are you well this message? It's getting a little long, let's be honest with ourselves,

but at the end of the day, you're a legend, and I don't mind writing a longer message than average. Goodbye. Wow, that's so sweet. Now I'm going to scroll back to the oldest thing on his Instagram. Again, I don't know anything about this guy.

I don't know if Patrick's making me bully somebody or something. These are the tactics you have to use if you want to make it in the entertainment industry. This is, I mean, we were talking about nepo's earlier. Yeah. This is the kind of stuff you have to do if you're not nepo. If you're a nepo baby, your parents do this for you. Yeah.

They take your phone and they start dictating messages to TikTok commercial stars. Yeah. Oh, is he a TikTok commercial star? Yeah. He's a TikTok interviewer. He also has another commercial that I can't remember. Really? Brand it's for.

Well, let's find out what the brand is and ask him. Oh, come on, Pat. Is this guy gay? Yeah. What? You made me just bully. a gay guy? You're not bullying a gay guy. You emailed, you did a cold email to a celebrity. It's an Instagram message, man. It's a cold email to a celebrity. I just saw a picture that said something about being gay and now I'm homophobic.

How is it homophobic? Yeah. Well, basically. How is it homophobic to message? Poppy. Piperra bread and poppy. How is it homophobic to message a gay guy about Panera bread? Okay, this is, I think, his oldest post. And Samsung Galaxy. Wow. He's really gay. He's getting that person. He's richer than Caleb. So if this is bullying in your mind, it's actually punching up. Oh, you can go to a website where it shows. I'm so far back, my Instagram won't even load shit. It's like completely bricked my phone to scroll through this guy's. Look. Oh, more loading.

Wow. Well, it's not working. Well, can you search Jake Shane commercial? Commercial and search. Just go on images. And sure. Jake Shane Networth

Networks I have to leave guys Yeah Okay well The environment is a very dangerous place Yeah Are Oh volcanoes

That's good They can erupt at any moment Yeah And Oh he's doing Poppy Make it poppy Yeah I think that's it for now Subscribe to the Patreon

Check out Jake Shane man He's a good guy He's gonna respond to my message You saw His username was past that Puss and you were like This is a straight man What are you talking about?

Pass that push. Pass that push. Literally the... Carsh of those words, bro. We always had a bad computer, and then when my parents split, my mom got a secondhand Mac mini. Oh, yeah.

And so then it was like a newer computer but had an even worse problem where I couldn't even play. I couldn't play any game on it. This was back in the day where the only thing... Back when Mac games, Mac couldn't run shit. Yeah, and then at some point in there

I got Gary's mod. Yeah. And then that kind of blew the lid open. And then I saved money for like two years and then built a computer. Nice. And then I built it and I was like, I'm going to put Mac and Windows on it. Yeah. The Hackintosh.

Yeah, I had to do all this like kernel shit. And then never wants to use the Mac part of that. Yeah. It was a complete waste of time. This is crap. I was just fucking playing me. Yeah. Yeah.

I didn't have a PC. I didn't have my own PC until college. and I had that gaming laptop. I'm glad that I didn't have, I mean, if I had fully unfettered computer access, like computer in my room, dude, it would not have been good. Yeah, I had that for a couple years

before I went to college, and it was not good. Because I was, like, casual 4chan browser, and it was like, I can't look at this on, like, the family computer, unless I'm, like, you know, up at night. That's an iPod Touch website, man. You go on that iPod Touch for that.

My iPod Touch, I fully. only used for music and Twitter. Oh, see, that's where I was doing all of my nasty browsing. Yeah, I would nasty browse. I was looking at nasty looking. Sexual websites. Yeah, I'd go and I'd do a nasty look on my... I'm clicking on X videos.

I'm clicking around. Yeah, and porn sites back then were not built for mobile. No. So you would have to do a lot of this. You'd be jacking off and you could zoom. Zoom. Okay, that's two guys. Zoom out.