Podcast About List - Ep. #403 - The Cure for Human Suffering

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

Have you ever been suffering (hungover) while just trying to live your human life (after a crazy night out with karaoke and drinking and food)? Then this video might just be what you need right now.Come watch CHUNKS and meet us in NY (10/16): https://www.erf.nyc/events/chapo-trap-house-screeningGo to CALOMAS (10/30): https://restlessnites.com/events/calomas30oct2026Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

I got shit. I'm tiny again. Do that. You think it's stupid to wear... Do that again. Why? Why do you make me do that again? Now say what you said before.

I'm two. Now say that and then do that. I'm too. That's good. That could be in something. A movie? Yeah, that could be in a podcast episode. That could be in a podcast episode for sure.

Maybe. It's a little visual for a pocket. I'm too. That could be like the new. character on the show or something two year old boy I'm one what are you gonna ask do you think it's wrong of me to wear a hat and a t-shirt that is both

some shit I got for free no no it's what normal people do but don't I look like a walking talking advertisement for because you're advertising these two advertising life world scrappy projects it looks like I love integrity exactly and it looks like I'm like

way into scrappy creative integrity. It looks like you're into the scene. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's a little too much. You look like a scenester. You are a scenester. I'm a scenester. You're a shyster. Yeah. I'm not a shyster. Was that a shy guy? No.

I think it's just, I don't even know what it means. It's an anti-Semitic slur. Oh, no. Yeah, I made that up. Yeah, I know it's not. Yeah. The way he uses it. Anything can be an anti-Semitic slur. Yeah. Maybe it is. A guy over here with you. Yeah, to a hammer. To a hammer. Fucking hell. Not true.

You are the hammer. They call you the hammer. The Hebrew hammer. Coming out, walking out of the tunnel and a reverse and glorious bastard. Walking into the tunnel. I'm looking like Eli Roth. Walking out.

Walking into the tunnel to find Eli Roth. You don't want to beat. You don't want him to meet the hammer. Guys, we. have been hungover. Dude, there's a deeply hungover day. There's been a New York City meat attack. Like a mummy.

Yeah. You know what I mean. Yeah, when you were hungover and you wake up like a mummy. But also like partial, no, that's more like Dracula or Frankenstein. This is Dracula.

Yeah, that's right. I think of mummy is. You know, you're probably right. Yeah. Actually, when I said that,

what I was imagining is a sarcophagus lid being opened and the mummy being like this. Oh. Oh. But I don't know if that's actually how mummies wake up. You woke up like a dusty old about mummies. I woke up like a, yeah, an uncovered. You woke up like corpse.

Bootstrap Bill on on the Davy Jones ship. On the Black Pearl? No. What was his ship called? What's the ship Davey Jones is on? The locker. He's not on Davy Jones ship. Is he?

Bootstrap Bill? Bootstrap Bill is because he has a barnacle on his head. Yeah. Remember he gets a, he gets, I put as a big part of the ship in the third. the third movie. This is the third movie. And he keeps getting woken up and he's like... I was seeing the first movie twice, but not, I still don't, couldn't remember a single

thing from it really. They all blend into one movie for me. I've been talking about doing, yeah, about watching all those. Yeah. Dude, they're awesome. I would like to. I mean, the first one I remember being cool, but I remember the last month. They're fucking amazing.

Mr. Verbinski. Gore. Mr. Verbenzky. Mr. Verbinz. With a name like Gore, you got to be into movies or some shit. You need something. You have to do something with your wife. You gotta do fucking anything.

A kid just be walking around named Gore. No, man. But those movies are really hysterical, old school fun. And you don't see Depp very often anymore. Did he hurt or molest? He hurt. It depends on whose side you take.

Oh, I forgot he had that whole thing. He heard, heard that. He hurt, heard. Yeah. And she broke, she put turd. That's alleged. Alleged. Alleged turd.

She did. She Depp. She Depp? She Depped that allegedly. They went to the depths of bad relationships. Hey, Amber, your turds belong in the Johnny. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not in Depp's bed.

Why does he still go by Johnny? He is a child at heart. Grow up. He has a sense of wonderment that we could all aspire to. There's an age where you got to start being Jonathan Depp. He was, okay. And what depth short? Or even Jay.

Jay Depp. What's his middle name? Jay, something Depp. Can you pull up Johnny Depp? Depp's middle name and also every picture of him from every age. It's Ashley. The name is not John. Jonathan Ashley Depp.

Johnny Ashley. Oh, a bug. Okay, so. Yeah, he really got by. Guys, that's him young. Well, even when he was that young, he was being mean. He was being mean and he was hurting. What's his middle name, bro?

This is not. We got to know the middle name. Christopher. Christopher. He's a two. J.C. Depp. J.C. Depp. J.C. Depp would be a good.

name jacy dep jacy jacy it's worse than johnny yeah that is worse man that's yeah that's a really young name what are the disabilities of johnny dep what are the disabilities well isn't he a horrible alcoholic he's blind in his left eye and near-sighted in his right eye i can't wait for me you bug the bug is claimed there's another victim i've been bugged that is crazy the bug's coming for you next you better watch yeah probably probably i don't care about the bug though that's fine Why? It's not that important. It's one of the most

insignificantly sized organisms in the room. After how much meat we ate last night, have you guys been all day walking around trying to eat cats and stuff? You think I've been walking around? No. That's the kind of thing I've been having. I'm getting really...

I did walk around. I took an Adderall this morning and I cleaned my whole apartment and... And you walked around? I was walking around the whole place, vacuuming, scrubbing, doing things of this nature. And I fully have been just... Every time I... Bart, it's an emergency.

Yeah, yeah, that'll do it, man. Like, I'm fully like, like, this morning, I stood, I took a, took an S in the T. Thank you, thank you. Thank you. I took an S to call it the Johnny. Okay, I took an S in the Johnny. And I stood up and then I was like, oh, I think I'm about to go again. And then I sat back down and one more like persona.

Yeah. That's what happened to me. Perfectly time. Perry. Yeah, I think I actually did two twos this morning as well. Yeah. I think if I... This was, I took a four.

Wow. That's how big of a two it was. Yeah, like I said, it was a big larger. It was pure meat. Yeah. Man, we ate some interesting stuff last night. Oh, yeah. Went to the Chinese skewer place.

That was the big misstep, I would say, was those last two trays. Yeah. I did not partake. You didn't have any intestine or tri? I had a little bit, actually. The tripe was so good. I really could. Everyone was like, yeah, we're all pretty full.

And then it was like two more full trays. Yeah. Me and Izzy, me and Izzy kind of fucked up there. That was odd. But the thing is, man, that place is so fucking far away that you really got to say so fucking fun. So of course. It is fun. That's the most fun I've had in forever. Yeah.

That is the most fun restaurant on earth. It's a Chinese skewers place. We've talked about chubbies before. We've talked about chubbies before. What are I talking? I went to a different one this time. Yeah. We went to the one. In Flushing.

You went to the best one. Yeah. The other one in Midtown is still good, but it's not the best. The flushing one is leaks, but the automatic turner is also a huge, huge spoon. Oh, yeah. That honestly more than the chairs, that was what was. Comfortability. And we got squid last night, and squid, honestly, is not good.

I think you guys overcooked the squid like three times. I had no interest. Even then, even then, it's not the move there. It's got eyeballs in it. But the eel, I should have got more eel. Eels is the best thing on the, in the first thing. It's the best thing and you know what else is good there?

What? That damn croaker. What's a croaker? The yellow croaker, the whole fish. I didn't fuck with that fish when we had it. Oh,

you're crazy. You know what's really good? Oh, yeah, that was all right. It's too many bones, man. I think eel is like the best

Asian meat. Yeah, I agree. Eal is a supreme meat. It's so good. And you got to imagine there's not a ton of it on an eel

because they're kind of them eels get fucking big. Yeah, but I don't know what kind of I had some eel because I kind of thought that way too

Because sometimes you'll get eel and you can see it's like a little cylinder. It's not like a Moray eel though, right? But sometimes you'll be getting an eel and you look and it's like, oh, this is a cross-section of a large animal. Whoa. It's this. It's like this. You ever see a Moray eel? In a picture, yeah. You never see a aquarium in the dark room?

I have seen. I actually have seen them in the aquarium. I thought they were pretty cool. Do you guys like when aquariums and zoos have an area that is darker than the rest? I love to go in there. You like the dark areas? Yeah. They're a little bit scary.

And I feel like... Last time I was in there, there was... They have this serpent room. Mm-hmm. I don't know why I said serpent. The snake. Serpent room. Serpent room.

We were there with my wife's family and my mother-in-law kept screaming in the room. Yeah. Shrieking. ...seeing the snakes. Well, to be fair, you spend 90% of the time in those rooms looking for... to see if there's guys even in the thing that it says he's in. Yeah. Because they are really great at hiding. Yeah. Pretty much that's their job. Yeah.

What? Jesus Christ. I mean, it's no sort of way to live your life having this much meat and having a bunch of soju bomb towers. And then getting home and trying to take, I have these like, these like hangover pill things. Yeah. Like milk fissle and

zinc or something, magnesium. Yeah. And you're supposed to take it right bed. Yeah. And I have taken these probably 10 times over the last six months. They've never worked one time. Yeah. Yeah.

I can't. Hangover cure stuff like that never works. It has to be preemptive. That's the only time. That's the only time it's ever worked for me. It lines your stomach or some shit. If you just like, if you drink hell of hell of water and Gatorade and crap before,

before you go out drinking. Oh, that's smart. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because once you've drank, the damage is done. That's what I don't understand about this shit. It's pretty much too late.

Yeah. Um, but yeah, I did absolutely nothing and I suffered badly for it. Yep. Yeah. I didn't even, I wasn't even going to drink that much that night.

Yeah, I mean, I literally went into that being like, yeah, I'm probably not even going to drink. I didn't think I was going to drink. And I ordered the fucking soju tower. Within 10 seconds of sitting down.

Within 10 seconds sitting down, I was like, I'm going to get a giant soju tower. As soon as the soju tower is there, you will not stop drinking the entire night. The rest of the night's fucked. The rest of the week is. The fact that it's a draft thing,

there's no way to quantify how much of it you had yeah so because you're just sitting there and you're like okay well i'm halfway done i'll put it off it's getting passed around it's just uh fuck and then karaoke god damn what are we doing that was a great nice listen to my voice i know my voice was really fucked up when i woke up my voice is fine karaoke was pretty good i love karaoke debuted some new songs i think yeah there was some you had some very interesting creative picks. Choices that I liked. Which ones?

I couldn't even tell you the name of the songs. Yeah, you were doing ones where I was like, I don't know this song. Never heard it before. But you sounded like, but you sounded exactly like

a little guy from Arkansas named Elvis Presley. Yeah? Yeah. Was one of those songs an Elvis song? It was the first one I did. He sounded exactly like it.

It was the Elvis cover. He might not be from Arkansas. I don't know. He's from Tennessee. Bill Clinton. He's from Arkansas. kind of mixed him up, had my whole life. The first one I did was Elvis's cover of,

You Don't Have to Say You Love Me. It was a great cover that he did. Yeah. And then I did Scott Walker, Jackie. It was another great song. That's the one I had to censor a word. You have a different, you did? Yeah.

Because he says, China Men, and it. Oh, yeah, you said, awesome friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Watched up inside my opium den, surrounded by my awesome friend. That doesn't sound so bad. That sounds so fucking bad. See, karaoke, I'm, I'm, I like having some, some different.

Some variety. I go, I will do. I'll always do the same ones. I'll do same songs and I'll also do, only do songs from like 2001 to 2009. There's a lot of shine down in that room last night. I was excited to pull out miserable by Lit because he says you make me come a lot. And I think that's a fun thing. That was a good one.

Pet Shop Boys. Pet Shop Boys was a great pick. I didn't even know what the Pet Shop Boys was. You're crazy for that. No, Pet Shop Boys are awesome. I thought that was like an old-ass, old, old band. That song? Oh, just from the name of the band.

I heard the song and you thought it was from the 40s. I realized pretty soon I was from probably the 80s. Yeah. But is that it? I was going to say it's another, Elvis song, but it's no, it's another, it's a cover Elvis did. Elvis was pretty prolific. He was doing a lot of covers.

He stole. Well, he stole his own personality. Communities. Yeah, dude. He stole his whole personality from a bunch of black guys. Forrest Gump. Yeah.

Fitting that he should be karaoke and have the masses to steal his songs from him. It would be even better. It's an ironic twist of fate. Well, not really because we're white. Yeah. Speak for yourself.

Okay. I'm white. Thank you. Let's do an all, let's pay for, so to this point, let's pay for a group of black people to do Elvis cover.

in a karaoke room. Or just a karaoke room. Let's, if you're, if you're a fan of the show. It took me, it took me a minute to get it. We'll bankroll the karaoke spot.

We will pay. We only do all this. Just as a symbolism for what he stole from black culture. And if you allow us to film it and submit it to, uh, can. Yes. As a documentary.

We will, we will give out six, we'll give six lucky black fans. of the podcast, a free night of karaoke on our dollar if it's Elvis only. It has to be only Elvis. Yeah. And we don't get to sing. Or we get to sing too. We're not even there. We get to sing, but we get to sing other songs. We can do whatever. We can do whatever we want. Let me just put that out right now. We are allowed to do anything we want. I can see. No, that would be it. No, it seems actually, it's

kind of a racist thing that kind of almost becomes racist. We're not making them. It becomes racist when you get to sing whatever you want. And I'm there and I get to sing whatever yeah, and I'm there and I get to sing whatever I want. That's when it becomes racist. It takes away from the point that you basically want to pay black people to

come and sing karaoke for you. Me, it's us. It's all three of us. That's what you're suggesting. Yeah. As an anti-racist tactic. I mean, I'm just, you know, I'm pulling from what we did last night. Yeah.

I mean, hey, oh, like, it's, okay, so that's not going to be fun. At the place we went to was crazy. It would be, I mean, I don't know, KTV in Flushing. I can't guarantee you. Crazy rooms. You know, who knows if these people

would bring the right vibe. It's a good point. You never know. If we're doing it just scatter shot like that. Well, the people who would volunteer to do this. I don't know, I don't know these, these guys.

It's only guys. Only guys. Okay. All right. Or women. Okay. So it's just women and guys. How about only black women?

We'll pay only black women to do karaoke. I'm liking how this one's sounding. And it's only Elvis songs. Let's just leave it at that. We will only pay black women to do karaoke. For the rest of our lives. For the rest of our lives. I will never pay anybody to do karaoke.

No other groups are getting money out of me to do karaoke. It's going to be a black woman. Or multiple. And that's legally binding. Yep. There's nothing we can do. Our hands are time. man. God, I kind of like

how I sound. If you were a black woman who listens to this show and you see us at a karaoke bar, you can come up to us and say, you have to pay for my next song. You set it on the podcast. And that's the phrase. Well, what's the activation phrase? No, what's a phrase that Elvis says? Hey, mama.

Yeah. Hey, pretty mama. That is Johnny Bravo. So, but let's go with that. Because it sounds like Johnny Bravo. Johnny Bravo is a moron. he always i never felt the need to watch a show because of the way he behaved in the promotional material i watched a lot of johnny bravo i that i kept i kept johnny bravo at arm's length i maintained a healthy distance from that program that was smart the guy needs to hit the leg day

a little bit yeah he's i mean he shaped like a fucking bubble that got pinched yeah yeah yeah he's looking like they literally pinched have you ever seen someone pinch a bubble at the bottom no no But I've seen Johnny Bravo. So why Johnny Bravo think you can look like that? Well, it must. I actually heard that it was the guy who created him. This guy, he was created. He was created.

The guy who created Johnny Bravo was inspired because he saw a pinched bubble. A bubble pinched bubble. And he was like, you know what? I'm going to make a very sexual cartoon for kids. I'm going to make the first ever bottom. It's going to be Elvis themed somehow. He's going to talk like Elvis. So that pinched bubble just gave me so many good ideas.

He's going to talk like Elvis. He's going to have. This is like. like a Philip K. Dick style like hallucination epiphany. He sees a pinched bubble. It all just gets on lock. Like just everything.

It should be like Elvis. It's a cartoon. Oh, it's a cartoon. It'll be like Elvis. The last part is that it's a cartoon. That's the last thing you realized. But what could I do with this guy? You can't make a guy.

Well, unless you're in a cartoon. Wait. The pinched bubble is now. And it even sounds like it. And his name is Johnny Bravo. That sounds like that. John No.

It's actually two parts It's two parts of your body. Johnny. Oh yeah. Bra. Bra. Wait, put your jaw to your knee right now.

What shape is he like? He's bubble. He's bubble shape. Oh, wow, man, you're right. Bravo. I was singing bra which this guy's obsessed with

and then VO, which you have to do for cartoons. Yeah. Or vo, like vow, like a wedding vow. Yeah. That's the last thing.

he's doing yeah you guys a player yeah he could get married to every single woman in the world he would and there's steve dude there he is hi steve dude come plug yourself in plug in man you got your you got your whole workstation man we have steve in here today doing doing work yep we're talking tunes give us a cartoon to talk about chowder that was one that always enraptured me yeah textures i know The way the textures stayed still when the characters moved around. I didn't watch much either. Here's the thing.

I didn't find the show to be very entertaining. I didn't enjoy the characters nor the storylines nor anything about the voice acting, sound design, art besides the backgrounds. What about Indive's body? Who is that? She was the big lady. All I know is the guy who goes rotter, rotter, rotter, rotto. His name was Meatball.

His name was Meatball. I was going to say Meatball, but I was cut off. Meatball. It was so mad. Well, I was not a big, I was not a big fan of the show. No. You know what else? What other one also freaked me out?

Other shows had come into my life. Similarly to that, the flapjack one. Oh, dude, with a. Flapjack. Yeah, the child. What was the bastard pirate's name? Flapjack. No, Captain Canoodle or something?

Canuckles. Canuckles? Captain Connuckles. Now that one was also one of those gross. I feel like they were trying to do, uh, Ren and Stimpy for the next generation. They were a little bit. But they ended up a little closer to chicken and cow.

This is the YouTube short. They grew up with Renant Stimpy. We had the misadventures of Flapch. The marvelous misadventures of Flapchuk. You can't miss the first two letters. And they lived in a whale or some shit. I don't know. That show was just dark.

His mom was a whale. Do cartoons now still have darkness? What is the number one cartoon? Bluey? That's a different ballpark. I feel like they don't make those. Those like sort of, those like teenager-focused cartoons anymore. I think they definitely do.

But what, I mean, I can't name one more. Let's just go pull up Cartoon Network. What's Cartoon Network schedule for today? Probably nothing. They don't make shows anymore. They don't make shows. They close down Cartoon Network. Oh.

Oh, my God. It's the worst news ever. That's awful. I didn't know that. That's terrible news, guys. Jesus. My child is fucking ruined. Cartoon Network Studios is really.

Surely Nickelodeon is making some shit. Oh, Stephen Universe. We bear bears. Yeah, but Stephen Universe is not, it does not have darkness. You're right. We bear bears. I'm not familiar. Well, Bayblade X, that sounds dark.

The Silver Wolf. Wow, there's so much Stephen Universe. Bay Blade X. A episode of Bayblade X called the Silver Wolf sounds incredible. And we should tune in and that's, has already passed. We missed it. It was at 1230. Time is not going to stop.

It's mostly Stephen Universe. And we bear bears. And Pokemon Horizons and really Blade X. They got two shows on there now. Yeah. It's all. Oh, Adventure Time. Adventure Time.

I sort of had that a little bit. That had some darkness. Hotel Transylvania the series. Wow. Total drama rama. Okay. Okay. So we're getting more stuff around.

Mourmicorno Starfall. Now that one I've never heard of. The others I can kind of like a total drama rama that has to be total drama island. I knew. I knew that this would have something to do with mermaids. How? Based on the name alone. I mean,

this is just looking pretty gay to me. These are mermaid unicorns. This is to- This is for teenagers, you think? No, this is for teenagers. This has to be for little kids. No, this is for teenagers the same way that my little pony is. The subtitle is Starfall.

So it might have some science fiction elements. I think kids now watch that like 14-year-olds. They probably like those YouTube cartoon things. Yes, the amazing digital circus. Dude, I just... You've been watching, haven't you? No. Yes.

I love it. If there's anybody who's been watching that, it's good. That is the meanest thing you've ever said. Yes, straight. said you watch 40 episodes of Skibbitty Toilet. So, yeah, because people are talking about it. Yeah. I don't want to miss out on shit.

There's nothing wrong with Skibbitty Toil. I didn't know. You're the one who's saying there's something wrong with it. I'm saying you are the most likely to have watched that. And you're the one taking offense. I think he's the most likely. Absolutely not. Okay.

But then I think you're the most likely. No, I'm second most likely. You're far and away the most likely. Why? What about me is telling you that? The use 40 episodes of Skibody Toilet. That is anthropological research. that is about society trying to understand where the origins of things happen.

Yeah, but you can watch one or two and you don't have to watch all 40. Or you could read some like studies that people have done. Yeah. Actual scientists on Skittity Toilet. It was a second screen thing. First screen was all studies. And then I had the second screen. And also you can run through all the Skibbitty toilets in like 30 minutes.

It's not a huge time commitment. It's not like the amazing digital circus that has made over 110 episodes. Really? Oh, I don't know, actually. But that is a pervert. That's a pervert show. All I know about it is it has a clown and that it was in a movie theaters recently. Dude, they put it out on YouTube first and then they put it out on Netflix after they have some crazy deal. Wow. With Netflix. They make crazy money. I mean, God bless them.

But that's, you know, I ain't watching all that garbage, bro. No. I'd watch it if I was paid to watch it. Okay. most likely to watch. Yeah. I'll pay you to watch it. How much would you, how much do you need to get paid to watch it?

Would you watch it for a dollar and episode? I'd say $5 an episode because it's a big commitment. If I pay you $5 an episode, will you watch it and write a report on each episode for $5? How many episodes is it? We'll start with one episode. If I'm writing a report, it's getting bumped up to $10.

$10, dude. Yeah. I'll split it with me. I'll split it with you. I'll go five each and see we get a report of the first episode of the amazing episodes are there. I don't know. Look that up.

I don't know. There's only nine episodes. It's only $90. There's only nine episodes of that show. Yeah, it's fine. I'll watch that. Series of reports. I'll watch that.

I'll do a report on each episode. For $90, $0.45 each to get nine, nine reports from Pat out of that. And these will not be read on the show. These are not from the public. Not everything about our friendship has to be. No, no. This is for us. It's incredibly parisocial if you want us to do that.

I'll say. That's not for you guys at all. No, that's just for us. Yeah, we just happen to have this idea. We always just pay Patrick to write stuff for. We've done this shit like this a bunch. Anything that we don't have. Any show that comes out and I'm like,

I want to know the deal with this show, but I don't want to watch it. I'll pay Patrick to write a report. Because he has a very interesting critical eye that I think I really respect. Thank you. You should become a movie critic. I don't think I should.

I really, it would be so boring. And I think that if I had to hang out with other movie critics, I would not like that. Do you think there's like a scene like that? Yeah. There is.

There very much is. Really? Yes. Where you go, like, hang out with other movie critics? Yes. Yeah. Who are the big movie critics that are working? Well, the biggest one right now is Armand White.

Yeah, there's that guy. There's Richard Brody, who's the guy with the crazy beard. They're only ever like 70 years old, right? Yeah. A lot of them are podcast guys, too. Like, I think that's a big, big thing. Alex would know all this stuff. I stay pretty tapped out.

How about lights camera Jackson? Where's he sit in the ranking? He is. I would probably hang out with him just to understand. If you had to tier list them, what tier would Lights Camera Jackson be in? Are we talking like celebrity tier? Like A-list style or like power of, okay, here's, I mean, as a critic, power of review.

His strength as a critic is that he sees every single movie and his top 10 list at the end of the year, you will not see a single movie on it that's on anybody else's top 10 list. Really? Yeah. His top 10 lists are always like insane, like direct to video or like super limited release, like biopics and like stuff that no, like, the Hershey movie that we were talking about. That would be his like movie of the year.

Like it's all that stuff. Whoa. So you'll, you'll see movies you've never even heard of. So that I think is his biggest strength. Okay. Along with his, now what's his biggest weakness?

Biggest weakness is that he is also that. Yeah. That'd be his number one movie of the year. Is his taste as a critic. Yeah. But I think there's something to be, you know, I think it's cool.

Even if you're a, you know, kind of a crazy guy. Yeah, look at this. Oh. This is a top 10. This one is even, this one even has. New Velvig, song sung blue. Those first two, I'm like, okay, those are. Nuremberg. I've never heard of that.

Peewee as himself. Parthenopy. This one is more, look up the one where his top 10 movie, his number one movie was Aileen. And it's a biopic. It's a fictionalized biopic of Celine Dion where they change her name to Aileen Dia. Whoa. No, this is this number one movie of whatever movie, whatever year that was. A lead into it.

Is this like a Quebec qua, like... It's just, they just changed the name so they didn't have to, like, buy the rights to her life or whatever. That's that easy? I guess so. I'm sure, I'm sure she wouldn't want to, like, talk too much about her. Is she the one who's turning into a living statue? Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Do you think they included that in the movie? You know, she performed recently for the first time in three or four years, I believe. and she didn't seem that frozen to me. She's becoming a living statue? Yeah. I think literally there probably is a news headline that says Celine Dion is becoming a living statue. Yeah,

I would bet money that has some kind of living statue disease that turns her into a living statue. It happens to the tizar in Roonskin. Wow. And she will become a complete statue. And one day when she becomes a statue, we will slowly chip away parts of her body and use it as a new currency.

called Deons. Called Deons, yeah. Yeah, this was Best Movies of 2021. Worth, The Summit of the Gods, Aileen, Writers of Justice,

flee, The Dig, my Salinger year. And then at eight, at eight, licorish pizza, nine, Dream Horse and 10,

Worley Bird. So the only real movie on that is licorice pizza. And it's eight. It's eight. Isn't that crazy? Wow. Aileen.

Like, that's the only one. All those honorable mentions. Everything says what it's from. And licorice pizza is the only one that says theaters. Everything else is on a streaming service or something. Matrix and Resurrections is. That's a good pick.

This is also a bad year for movies, though. This was a really bad year. What years is? 21. But I mean, I feel like you, I feel like having those seven movies in front of licorish pizza is kind of crazy. If licorice pizza is on there at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a strange place. I feel like people either love that movie or hated it. I didn't see it. Oh, he had tar number one. That's a good pick. Whoa. Okay. Do you're getting...

But I mean, again, look at these. Have you seen any of these posters before? Not okay. You never have and you never will. Oh, wait, no. The greatest beer run ever, that's a YouTube shorts classic. Oh, yeah. That's Zach.

That's Efron, bro. It's Ephron playing. That's at the same place as liquorish pizza was in the year before this. That's what I'm like, this guy is crazy. I think there's value in that. That's a movie about a guy who goes to the Vietnam War to bring his friend a beer. And supposedly it's a real story. It's true.

There ain't no way. Jesus. He just walks into the lengths that young people are going to in this country. The worry to me is like, get your friend some help, man. If he needs a beer that fucking bad, he's in the middle of a war. Yeah. They have beer there. Absolutely.

They have beer everywhere. Yeah. But he needed to go bring this guy. They have beer there and this guy needs to go all the way over there with beer. Pretty much any story before 2000 of a guy like that that nobody knew about it when it was happening, but then afterwards, the story is like turned into a movie or something. It's a lie. Yeah. It's all not true.

Based on a true story is not ever true. No. What happened? Based on Yeah, this guy, I mean, it's a great idea for a movie, though. But it's only a good idea for a movie if it's true. Yeah. You can't just write that movie. People are like, this is fucking stupid. But if it's true,

sure, yeah. You know. It's like, oh, the unbelievable story. Of a guy with a beer. Yeah. Walking through Vietnam. One beer. One single beer, man. He actually had a backpack full of beer. Okay. And I think he gives some to some of the other soldier guys.

He shouldn't do that. No, especially in one of the most unjust wars. This guy is a, this guy's a moron. Wait, he rewarded the American soldiers of beer? This is what I'm saying. These guys are killing, your friends out there are killing children with Agent Orange, and then you show up with a beer? What a piece of shit.

This guy got to kill this guy. Literally. Disgusting. No, literally. He's working for Kissinger. Yep. Putting beer in the hands of. of these sick fucks.

They're getting drunk and deciding to do more terror. Yeah, that's probably why they're probably like... An aboveboard, normal invasion occupation style war. And then they get all this beer. And then uncommon valor. I'm going to murder

an entire village. I'm going to make a necklace of ears. I'm so drunk right now. I want to smoke weed. I'm going to do it out of my shotgun. Right, because I'm so fucking drunk that I don't know. I think this is a good idea. idea and a normal thing. I'm so drunk.

I'm going to develop a chemical agent that clings to people's skin and completely. And you know what? Let's aerosolize it as well. Yes. And I'm going to start. I'm so fucking drunk, man. I'm so drunk. I need a cigarette. Let me light it next to his house made a straw. Yeah. Doing that kind of shit. Ugh. It makes me sick.

Fucking. Yeah, that is. If you're, I mean, Vietnam veterans, that's a terrible, terrible one to be a veteran of. Yeah. That's a rough. That's a toughy. That's a rough toughy. Because you don't know if they were crazy beforehand because they were getting all the crazyest guys to go over there. You don't know if they were crazy beforehand or if they became crazy by osmosis hanging out. Or they could be crazy before and then doubled, double a given to the next person style. Not me, bro.

I'm dodging that. I don't need that in my fucking life. Yeah, I'm not going to be going to Vietnam War. It's over. If they try to do it again. If they try to do it again, dude. Count me out. How, I can't.

Would we go to war with Vietnam right now? Probably not. I mean. Us three? Yeah. No. I mean, I have no. I think if you want to have no

Vietnamese. No, I mean, Bonn, me. Yeah. Vietnam has given us tons of stuff. My friend Alex. Yeah. There's a lot. There's a lot to love about Vietnam and there's not much that's worth... Lemon grass pork chop. I like that they have a city called Ho Chi Men's City. Yeah. I like...

I like most of the food that I've had that's Vietnamese. I like that they're around. Yeah. I wouldn't trade them for the world. No. No. I really wouldn't. Let's get some T-shirts printed. Vietnam versus everybody Well, that sounds like a war to me

Yeah Well, no, but it's like He knows what I'm talking about It's like a Detroit versus everybody sort of thing Which was that was essentially a song Okay But this would be a shirt

With no song attached Okay I liked that that became For like three years That was like a shirt That you could get in like Myrtle Beach Dude I tried to make one

And you guys said it makes no sense What did it say Nintendo versus everybody We should have made that And I said, would you wear this? And you said, that makes not that much sense. Why did I say that? I don't know.

I'm an idiot. You shouldn't listen to me with stuff like that. I don't wear good clothes. Yeah. Well, of course you don't. I don't have fashion taste. You were not into this shirt. No, no, I'm a fucking idiot, dude.

Mm-hmm. Dude, I need some Eastern medicine right now. Yeah, should we discuss our theme of the day? Okay. Originally, it was going to be, what, the cure for a hangover? What, the cure for the human hangover? The cure for the human hangover. The cure for the human hangover, but we decided to go a little bigger.

I thought that one, why not aim a little higher and tried to find out the cure to human suffering? The cure to human suffering. The cure to human suffering. Where would you even start? I mean, it just sounds good. It does sound good. It's a good name for an episode. The cure to human suffering discovered.

Maybe. I mean, I don't know. I know we don't have one here, but it would be maybe for the thumbnail we can get kind of a glowing vial in one of our hands. Yeah. A zoomed in. Yeah, wait. Can you get really here. Julio, can you switch to this camera?

Okay, yeah, and then put a big glowing bottle. So we'll put like a blue, something with blue in it, like a blue potion. An elixir. Yeah, yeah, some alchemical kind of liquid. Yeah. And it would be the cure to human suffering. Yeah. But first, we got to figure out what's in that thing.

Yeah. Okay, so let's start with hangover then. How do you cure a hangover? Well, because that's a huge portion. Anthony Bordane says that you basically have to be a massive tool and sit around and fucking drink and eat. Drink and eat food. Yeah. The guy's a fucking massive.

You drink up hot. Yeah. You eat a food that's also drinkable. Have a million dollars was kind of his hang-off. That's what I was going to say is the hangover cure is having a lot of money. Money is a good starting point. People talk about that IV like infusion. Yeah.

That's strange. To me that's like you really should. You can't be drinking with no consequence. I mean that also is a thing where I'm like, I don't, I'm not like scared of needles. but like I don't think I don't think I would choose I don't think I would choose

and I like to have to get an IV drip over when hung over They must be fucking drinking Yeah If that's worth it You know what I mean As you get older

It's good It's worse Like the one thing If you're really rich and famous The actual only thing you have As a currency is time And that is time Does have to sit and be hooked up to an IV bag

Yeah No I'm out making deals But it's only like 15 minutes You can make a deal You could make a deal Celebrities. You could make a deal while you have the IV. I mean, you walk around.

You'd be on fucking FaceTime making deals. Is that a fucking IV attached to you? And then you say, deals off. You're infirm. No, no. I only make deals with healthies. Yeah. You say, no, it is an IV, but this is full of liquor.

Yeah. And I'm chilling. And I'd be ready to make this deal. And I'd be ready to make this deal. You think that would work. I'd be ready to make this deal. I don't think that's what would work at all. Yeah.

So, but an IV bag does seem like the best. secure to a hangover. That would show the person you're on the phone with that you have it like that and you can pay to get your hangover removed via medicine. I just feel like you would come across like a make a wish kid. Yeah. It looks like you're getting dialysis done or something. And that's weakness if you have kidney disease.

It is pure weakness. And it's in fact weakness to even not, to want to no longer have a hangover is weakness. I agree. You need to be mentally resilient. What you should actually do is you should get on the business deal before you even get the IV bag and be throwing up. Yeah. actively throwing up.

Well, that makes me wonder, then, is there really a purpose to curing human suffering? Isn't that... Isn't that a definition of life? We probably don't want to do that, do we? No, because it would make... I mean, some suffering is terrible.

Suffering is key. But it is key to the human experience. It's the only reason anything gets done. Yeah. It's the only way we find beauty. But it's so terrible to suffer. Yeah. I mean, there's got to be a line at some point

where we say, okay, because hangovers, I'm willing to say hangovers, are a necessary suffering that people need to go through. Sure. Because you're paying the penance for your action. But then, for example, the Vietnam War. The Vietnam War, I was just going to say that's...

Let's get rid of that one. That's so much. That's like four hangovers. That's like four. It's funny you say that. That was going to be the hangover four. The plot of the hangover for... Is Vietnam War.

What did we do last night? Dude, it's kind of the hangover of the American Empire. It's been my hand right around. All the pictures of them. Yeah. The village fucking... Why do they go to Thailand? in the second one?

They should do, I don't know. Does anyone remember? They literally should do this. Inc right. Guys, they should do. Okay, we should do. Put a pin in this one. It's in.

Period piece hangover. Like at the hangover, but it's like set in like the 1600s or something. That's so fucking smart. Dude, they're drinking like mead. That's so fucking smart. That would be fucking awesome. Ken Jong is the poison tester.

Yep. They took that, they destroyed a kingdom. Yeah. Oh, crap. Yeah. Zach Alfenagas is like, we're going to get so fucked up with this shit. What doth we dost at last night?

Let me get that shit. And he hits it. Yeah. And it's poison. Holy crap. And they accidentally killed the king. Dude, it's a good idea. A mess of trouble.

Mike Tyson, he's not involved in. Or he like the 1920s, like prohibition. Fucking some flappers. Whoa. Whoa. Blappers are so sexy. I think the 1920s one actually works. That's basically, that's actually a better movie than the hang on.

Yeah. That's a better premise than... The hangover's so lazy. It's like, yeah, why doesn't... This should just take place now. Dude, it's also prohibition. So you're getting prohibition. Yeah.

So there's a lot more risk. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. It makes more sense. It makes way more sense. Than the hangover where it's like... Yeah, when they're like... In the hangover, like, logically,

I mean, I think we already agreed that hangovers in general are necessary piece of suffering. Yeah. So why do they, why are they even pressed about it? When they wake up in the hangover and he misses his tooth and the tiger, it's like, no, they should be like, they should be like, oh, there's a necessary part of human suffering. Whereas in prohibition,

you wake up with a hangover, it's like, oh, you're going to jail. Your life is over. And the alcohol lies out about this. You drank alcohol. There's actually a reason to find out what happened last night. Yeah, and the alcohol you are drinking is like made from horse hooves. So you're like going crazy on this nasty ass alcohol.

And then here's the problem. You need to figure out what the Las Vegas of the 1920s was. Dude, can I throw something out there? It was probably Las Vegas. I believe that the, Empire State Building was just built in the 1920s. Dude, getting all fucked up and going to the Empire State Building. Like grand opening.

And then somebody's falling off the top. Yeah. Yeah, somebody's falling off the top. That's just a cool little piece of flavor. They could accidentally do, I know there's a different time, but they could accidentally do like the Black Dahlia murder or something. Yeah, or like Typhoid Mary could be involved. Yeah, yeah.

Some shit like that. Just some historical pulse. Let's do everything. Let's get everybody from the. sweeping cloud Atlas style historical epic. It goes through every decade. Different guys of different hangovers at different times. And the hangover, like the hangover is kind of like a generational, like spiritual curse.

Yes. It's kind of attaching to everybody. Which it is. Throughout history. And like a, wow, that is actually a good movie. We could even do it. Oh my God. Generations where it's like placed beyond the pines where we have this guy gets a hang.

This guy and his friend go out and they get hangovers. And then their sons go out and they get hangovers. You know what the cool. part of this would be is that we do this. It would be like an, like an 18 hour movie. And it would start, we start in like the year like 900 AD. Yeah. And you go, go, go, go.

You're going to 1920s. So it's like, oh, now it's not 1980s. Guys, we get to the 2000s. The movie, the hangover just plays in full. Whoa. And then it continues after that into the 2010s, 2020s into the future. But we build it around the hangover. And then it's like little things in that like the tiger actually becomes kind of a

recurring symbol. Yes. There's a tiger and every... There's a tiger and ever... You know, stuff where you can build it around that, the hangover. Yes. Dude, it's a good idea for an 18-hour movie. This is really, really, really, really sweet.

So another kind of point, I think, in the column of the best way to solve suffering is just to have a lot of money. Because right now I'm suffering knowing we will never be able to realize this. If we had billions of dollars, we could just go out and make this, not worry about copyright, be like, well, hey, we'll take the hit. Another thing... Putting the full... I don't care.

I'll pay the fine. Not a problem. I have so much money. Releasing a movie where you put someone else's movie in the middle. Entirety. Just be like, no, it's fine. Hey, sue me. I'll pay it.

I don't care. Go ahead. It's staying in theaters. I'll pay you any amount of money. We could also do it like a tree of life or boyhood, rather, and have, we cast people to play the main characters, and then we don't shoot the second part until their sons are the same age. And then we do that for hundreds of years. Yeah.

And then this comes out in maybe 600 years. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. It's a good idea. It's pretty good, too. I mean, I've always wanted to make a movie like that. Yeah, a 600-year movie would be pretty swell.

I mean, this, I feel like the cure, I think, I'm just to bring it back here, I feel like the cure to human suffering, this is revealing to me must be generational. Yeah. It's not something we can fix in a generation. No. It's not something that you can plant the seed to fix. Right. Like a tree. Maybe even coming up with this idea is enough.

Yeah. Because somebody's going to hear this and somebody yet. does have a billion dollars. Maybe our children are going to be listening to this and be like, carry this idea forward in the next generation, iterate on it, be like, uh,

make it a religion. Our dad's really cool. Our dads were so cool. That would make you feel good. I can't believe how good that would make me feel. Wow. I love my dad's, uh,

idea for, but you got an hour. Wow. My dad's idea. I will never suffer again. I'll never suffer again. I'm so, I,

my dad's so cool. He went out and stayed up too late and he, he'd ruined his whole day and all he could do is making an 18-hour hangover movie. What are the other kinds of human suffering? You have violence and murder. Yeah. You have famine. Famine.

Famine, that's the easiest one to sell. They could solve famine in like a year. Yeah. They could fix famine. Yeah, just by making the food more. Just cook the food. Hire some chefs. Cook the food.

Hire some chefs. Hey, first of all, you're going to want to cook. it. You can't eat raw ingredients. Well, you can't set vegetables. You can eat certain fish too. Certain fish you can eat raw.

So actually, also meats as well. So introduce sushi to these, to these places. Sushi would be, sushi is must, I mean, sushi is just a raw piece of fish.

That must be the easiest food to make in the world. I've always genuinely thought that. Don't you think? Why does it take you eight years to learn how to fucking not cook something? It's just a fucking piece. It's a piece, bro.

It's a piece. And they go, oh, well, it's a certain part of the piece. piece of whatever. What? What are you talking about? It's a fish. It's got four pieces. I'll pick a piece. I'll cut it up. I'll put it on some rice. Watch the videos of them and this is what they do. Yeah. Dude, I think sushi is one of the biggest shams. This is what, when they were making sushi in front of me, this is what they were doing. Yes, they do that thing. They dab the, it's like making a snowball. And here's the thing. They don't even cut the fish. They have it all there already. Dude, you know what? It's legit. It's harder to fold a Chipotleabreed. than it is to fucking make, cut sushi. That is a way more technically difficult skill.

Those guys, you know how much sour cream they got these fuckers put in that burrito? Or you start, they don't, they have, they should have a designated sour cream spoon. It really is. The sour cream's out of control. Yeah. It's too big.

I mean, like a, like, if I, if you ask for sour cream, they're putting an entire, like, daisy thing of sour cream. It's a spoon that the, the, the spoon face. is this big. It's a plate. It's too big. And it all stays in one part of the burrito too. Yeah. Shake it around. Why is it not in a bottle? Why is it

in a bucket? It really is a miracle that like 90% of Chipotle burrito rollings don't end with like an explosion. Have you ever had the, I don't even do the burrito anymore because it's just too much to it's too much social navigation to try to get all those ingredients on there and then have the point where you go

yeah. Actually put it in actually go back, take the rice off. You ever seen them do a two, they put a second tortilla? No. Dude. Or like you mean, they're like, this shit won't close. I guess I have seen that actually. It's like, that's not my problem. You need to learn temperance. You can't be sitting there putting this

much ingredients on there. You're complaining. Yeah. Yeah. That's a crazy thing to complain about. I think everybody in the world complains the other direction. Dude, but I don't want to double, I don't want double wrap. It's the same price, bro. Yeah, but there's two wraps on. You're literally getting two tortillas. Yeah, yeah.

The same price. You're literally. You could take that tortilla home and sell it. And sell it on eBay. What am I thinking? Genuine, Chipotle tortilla. Genuines, Chipotle. They gave me an extra one.

This tortilla was owned by the artist Genuine. Well, that would actually be worth something. That would be worth a lot of money. And it looks like the moon. I haven't had a Chipotle burrito in quite some time. And right now I'm like, damn. They just opened one nearby too. Really?

Yeah, I went to it. You did? How is it? It's Chipotle. but like how does it stack up against other chapolets yeah it's a pretty good one chipotle honestly man it gets way too much hate yeah it's it that i think chipole is literally to me the like perfect restaurant of that type yeah it is where it's just it's the one that started them all yeah it's just good enough that you're not going to be upset

it's not good enough that you're like i'm going to go there it feels like actual food when you eat it yeah if you ever like if you urgently need a lot of food food, you'll be perfectly fine to go there. Chipotle after, when you're really hungry? Yeah. When you're like out and about and you're like, fuck. Damn, I need some lunch.

I need my lunch and dinner right now. Yeah, yeah. It is a combination. Yeah. You can't be eating other meals during the day after Chipotle. Yeah, I don't think I have any bad things to say about Chipotle. I mean, the bags are a little much. Yeah, that bag, I get, they give me a migraine.

I look at it. And I'm just trying, I mean, honestly, just from trying to comprehend some of the. Was that with you? When we found like some, some, like of the some decorations from Chipotle that somebody was selling on like Facebook market for really really oh no it was on eBay yeah yeah the like uh there's like 10 grand for the decorations from Chipotle oh is the original ones though did you guys ever see the the original Chipotle yeah what that's a funny picture you got his finger stuck in the wall at

chipotle yeah what that's a funny picture you got his finger stuck in the hole in the wall like this he stuck his finger in there and there's a bunch of people trying out he saw the video of the two guys who got their head stuck in the hospital waiting room chairs? No. You haven't seen this? There's two? It's a guy and it's like security footage of this guy and he's got his head stuck in the hospital waiting room chair. And he's like, ah, ah, ah, and then his friend tries to learn how to get this other guy's head out by sticking his head in the same area.

It's a rookie mistake. And then so now they both are stuck in this bench and it's one of the great videos, man. That sounds like a scary situation. But I could understand. His finger was stuck, man. Grown ass man, he got his fingers stuck in the wall at Chipotle. Oh, that's really funny. And he's got his pinky stuck.

It's like the smallest finger you can put in there, man. Well, he probably tried the other fingers. It's like, oh, these don't fit. The pinky's a tight squeeze, but I think I can get it in there. I mean, I got it. I'm already started. I can't. not have my finger in here.

Yeah. That's such an embarrassing scenario. I mean, it's like a, it's a place where you should put a finger, though. That's also human suffering, by the way. Yeah. Being stuck. Stuck. 127 hours.

The solution to being stuck is oil. Yeah. Oil and grease. You guys ever been stuck? Also helps with famine. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Grease. Mm-hmm. Fried sushi. Fried grease sushi. That's fucking. You've been stuck? Yeah. Where'd you get stuck about this before?

I got my head stuck in the recline. Oh, yeah. You were getting decapitated. Yeah, I almost got decapitated. Yeah, that would have been terrible. I don't think I would have been decapitated. That's what your mom thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, my neck would definitely would have been crushed. I'm trying to think if I got stuck. I'm sure I did, but no traumatic incident is popping in mind. If I did get stuck, it didn't stick with me. My brother had a ceiling fan fall on him on his birthday. That's like my nightmarly scared scenario. And then I was the one who found him.

I was always finding my brother. One time he got stuck, I've talked about this before, but one time he got stuck in the mud outside of our house and like the marsh and he was like stuck to here and he was wearing waiters and every time that he got stuck or got hurt

I was the guy who found the body and then I'd have to go tell my parents he's stuck again and I remember when the ceiling fan fell on him it seemed like he was stuck under the fan even though it was just a seat he could have moved but I walked up and he's so dramatic he's got the ceiling fan still on his leg

and he's like go get dad he's just going to move the fan yeah But getting stuck in the mud, that one was scary. That sounds scary. That was freaking. It must have been a lot of mud or a small kid. He was probably 13 and he had waiters on.

Okay. And the waiters got. Well, that's take off all the weight. You're going to sink in if you're wearing waiters. Yeah, that's a good point. But I think we left the waiters in the mud. I think they're probably still there. That's an environmental whoopsie.

I want to be honest. Environmental storytelling. No, environmental storytelling would be like if I was like there was giant Africanized bees. No, I think environmental storytelling is seeing a pair of waiters, an empty pair of waiters in the middle of a bud. Oh, you're right. That's completely.

But what do you think about this? What is, I don't have no idea what you're saying. The bees thing is not that good of an idea. That's environmental storytelling. As he said, there was Africanized bees in the mud. Because you know how those are from the environment? That's telling.

Like, where's the story? Well, there's plenty of environment there. The story is the bees are going to, that's why he got stuck. He's running from Africanized bees. He said, no. No, that wouldn't be. It would be if there was bees there.

Africanized bees. Africanized. What does it mean to Africanize something? I always, is it like winterizing? What? We're Africanizing my house. Yeah.

How can you Africanize a bee? And who did that? Yeah. Did that to the bee. I know. I mean, I don't know who did it. You have no information about no information. If I had information, you don't have insight.

If I had evious Dr. Stinger. Yeah. I mean, it's probably Dr. Stinger. How could, can you take any bee and go African-ized it? Oh, they're cross-breeding aggressive African honey bees with milder European honeybees. So, okay, wait, does that mean then African-ized, like, if it's creating, if it's aggressive African bees and then the other bees, wouldn't that just the African bees be even more dangerous than the African-ized ones?

I think so. Except, I believe the African bees are in Africa, which is pretty far away. Are we in Africa? Not now. No. Okay. Not at a present. All right. We have to wait for...

But anyway, I guess my point is like, we're such fucking pussies. We're like... We're like... The Africanized bees are coming. Even half Africanized bee. Yeah, exactly. It's like too much for us. You should see the bee keep...

I mean, you should see the honey though. Yeah. You guys know about mad honey? Yes. Should we try it? What is it? I've thought about it. It's psychedelic honey.

It's not that psychedelic though. It's psychedelic-ish honey. It like makes you just kind of feel weird as far as I can tell. You're not like... You're not tripping off the honey like that. Oh, really? Yeah. But they do have the honey that gives you an interaction.

I would do mad honey. I wish it wasn't called mad honey. That's cool. No, it seems. That's the only thing that makes me interesting. I think that would give me a bad trip if I thought that... You're going mad?

If it was mad. Magic mushrooms? Magic. Mad is literally in there. Magic? Yeah, but you don't hear it because you're saying magic. I hear it. Magic mushrooms sounds good.

Whenever I hear the word magic, I hear mad. Trippy. Trippy ass. S-L-S-D, mad jic. Trippy ass. But mad honey, that would fear me away. Well, what I would be, like, if my friend was like, hey, bro, you want to come over and have mad honey? I'd be like, yeah, fuck yeah, I love honey.

Let's do it. Let's have mad honey. Yeah, let's poop. What do we put on? Hell of fucking honey. Let's get our hand stuck in the jar. Mad honey. But then you show up.

I get there. Yeah, you're seeing. Gongs are going. Christ is visiting you. Yeah. Because my friend is always like, hey, man, you want to come over on mad sandwiches. And I'm like, yeah, let's have hell of sandwiches, bro. But if that meant a psychedelic sandwich.

Right. I would be like, no, man, I'm trying to preserve my mental health at these moments. You don't want to have to deal with that shit. Imagine if you lost your mind from a damn honey. If you were one of those people who got permanently psychedelically ruined and you're like, yeah, I had some honey. Yeah, I ate honey. And I ate, and especially if you ate it in a really embarrassing way. Yeah.

You put it on. I put it on one of them sticks that buzzed from honey nut churios got. What is that stick cold? I don't know, but that's probably how they have. Honey stick. you have one of those? Why? It's just a kind of shit. You're a bee, bro. No, it's just kind of shit that happens in my life where I get some shit like that, man. I don't know. It just shows up. And I don't even use it anymore. A stork brings it to you.

Yeah, I remember, I think it came with some, like, nice honey that we bought when we were out of town one time. It, like, came with a little thing attached. And it does, I'll be damned. The thing does work. I don't understand how. You have to centrifugalize it by twisting it. And then when you want the honey to drip, you see. stop and the honey drips out. Okay. It's an amazing invention. But now I use a big Costco squeeze like ketchup. I thought that only cartoon

bees had that. No. It's a real item. Real bees have it too. Or guys that eat honey. Not a bee. Yeah, bee guys. No, no. Real bees have. Real motherfucking bees have it as well. Honey is not a bad.

I mean, I just keep trying to bring it back. I'm so maybe a lost cause. For cheering. For cheering. For cheering. Human suffering. I mean, they use, you know about the mellified man. You know, about this. So when they would, basically this was a thing

that they used to do. They used to believe that they would cover a dead body completely in honey, like a mummified body. They would cover in honey and bury it for 100 years. And they were like,

when you dig this up after it's been buried in honey for a hundred years, you eat it, it will cure any ailment. Eat the guy? Yeah, they're like flesh.

Eat the mummy? Weren't they? There was, but also people were eating hell of, the British guys were eating mummy. Mummy dust. They're eating mummy.

Mummy dust in Victorianism. Why? Dude, it was seen as a cure. Just what you would do. But what about a mummy sounds good to eat, man. It's ancient. Yeah. I get that part.

It's what you have to, you're thinking of it more like a food. You have to think it more of like a medicine. Oh, mummy, mummy dust. It's mummy dust. You sprinkle it. Because medicines are supposed to be gross. That is true. You're not supposed to want to eat it.

But I can't. That's when it becomes a problem. A guy's been sitting in honey for 100 years. Doesn't sound that gross to me, honestly. Sounds kind of good. You are a cannibal. you would eat a hundred year old dead man plenty of people did

dude it was simply a folk belief you just walked into my trap it admitted it was a folk belief it was simply a folk belief yeah how I mean it must have been expensive you sound like an idiot right now yeah you have no idea what you're talking about I see I figured it was a real medicine

but we probably ran out of it on mummies it's called the maleified man if you want to look it up well it's cool but that's that leads me to believe that was was supposed to be had cure for anything. I have another theory about human suffering. Sure. Sugar. Sugar, yeah. You think

that's a cause? A cure. I'm down with that. Sweetness? Dude, I want ice cream right now. Yeah. I don't know about that, man. It sounds like about the worst possible thing you can put in your body. How about like a big ass banana split? Wake up, banana split.

I'll take the nanner. You can take the split. Okay. I don't think you can do that. I think it's a fix with hot fudge. I'll pick it off. I'm good at picking things. that on my food. No, because the hot fudge is going to get all cold and dense and it's going to stick. Dude, I'm not eating the hot fudge. And make it easier to take off. It's going to have hot fudge on it. I'm going to take the nanner. It's going to have hot fudge on it. I'm going to hold it out. You're going to suck the fudge off. Then you're going to get my germs. What's your own? You're admitting to having germs? Tons. Dirty grosser. Tons, man. I've been

I recently started flossing my teeth. This is not a good decision for me. You just started flossing. The junk that comes out of my teeth is just terrible. You should let it leave it in there. Leave the junk in? Or is that, that's what you're saying? No. You said you just started flossing your teeth and it was a bad decision? Yeah, because it's just nasty. It's my, it makes, it smells. The shit that comes out of my teeth is terribly smelly. Yeah, I have a dentist appointment next week and I'm really dreading it.

What do you think? What's the worst that could happen? I'm going to have to get 100 surgeries would be the worst. Yeah. It's more as, I don't know, my gums are really fucked up and my teeth is kind of fucked up too. And it's just one of those things where I'm like, I'd rather just not find out about it. That's why I haven't been to the dentist's. I was 17. Yeah, that was me at one point. And then I was like,

I should probably, it's time to be a man. Dude, it's just too expensive, bro. Yeah. It's not, it's crazy expensive,

man. Well, it's not that bad, but the problem is they're always like, and you got to do this thing that's not covered by your insurance. Well, that's,

I have dental insurance. Ooh. Through my wife's job. I need some of that, man. That is genuinely only reason I've been going to the dentist. I would not be regular. Yeah.

Because it's pretty cheap with that. But yeah, no, they'll still be, like, I'll still go in. They'll be like, by the way, you have to do this thing and it's going to cost you like $1,200. And I'd be like, no, I have a bonded retainer like wire inside my mouth that I've had there.

I learned something about you every day. You've learned that about me probably five or six times. Bonded retainer? I didn't know that. You did know that because you say that every time. I mentioned this bonded retainer. But they're like, yeah, you have to get it out because it's not doing anything. That doesn't seem like a hell of money.

Exactly. I was like, no, I'm going to leave it in there. Yeah. Take it out when it starts doing something bad. Exactly. That's when you need to start doing something about it. When it doesn't work? It doesn't work at all.

And it does actually do something bad in that I can't really floss my lower teeth because of it. I just got insurance a couple months back. And I have not been to the doctor because I don't know what to do at the doctor. Doctors in New York are also just completely, it's just not even worth it. I just don't know what the hell to tell them. Yeah. What do you do when you go to the doctor? I know.

Yeah. Well, yeah. You're either. It's, dude, it's not. No good. I haven't been, I've been to the doctor like twice in the, in my life without my parents there. There's never a good result. Yeah, that's what I don't want. It's either that they ignore what you're saying or they make you do 500 things that cost $500. Dude, I don't want to spend money. Yeah. Money's so, it's so precious. So precious. Yeah. It's so core to our society as well. I mean, that's a potential cure for human suffering. Money. Well, I think we, that was kind of our initial. Yeah. We did mention that money. I think money is the only. I think money is the only. Yeah, money and sugar.

Which I need some of that right now. Yeah, I'm not going to lie. It's, uh, I mean, the thing is, I was, I feel not that tired anymore. I think talking has woken me up,

but I, talking has made me tired. I'm sweating like a fucking pig. Yeah. I'm just, I don't even feel that sick. I'm just like hot and moist all over. Mm,

all over you say. Just, just, my body is just removing toxins as we speak. Steve, did the milk this will work for you this time? really damn yes yeah

the thing that you said you didn't want you're drinking soju bomb yeah and bud lights and karaoke and yeah chinese food

I think it was probably like seven beers yeah no I guess it was soju in there too I guess it was way more actually yeah it's like wine and beer yeah

sounds pretty a lot do people say that and they're right yeah there's a lot of shit But I like, but we just said that sugar was a cure. Yeah. We kind of.

Everything is a double-edged sword. That actually might be the, I feel like that, like, I feel like that's it. It's like the cure for human suffering, everything is a double-edged sword. And it's kind of like a cone where you have to like figure out what that means. And a smart person will see that and be like, oh, sugar. Oh, yeah. Because money makes the world worse and so does sugar. Right.

Like sugar can make your hangover worse, but it can also. Let's be real, man. Pat, what, name one thing that money. is done that's bad. It's not going to be funny. I'm just asking. This isn't a comedy podcast. This is an investigative report.

There's a, I mean, the obvious answer is that there was an island purchased by Jeffrey Epstein. That's the obvious one. He used money. Yeah, he used money. And then that's a whole island was based around. But money didn't say no.

Money can't say no. It's just a square. Oh, yeah. Money itself is not done anything. People use it for the wrong things. What about when a money paper-cutted someone? Or if someone was driving a big-ass truck and a money flew in the window,

covered their eyes, and they crashed into an orphanage. How many times does that happen? We have reports of that. Twice? The Abe Lincoln on the money went while it was happening. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that would be terrible.

That would be awful. But again, double-edged sword, man, money and sugar. Or the penny on the train tracks that derails the train. Oh, I'll give you that. Yeah. Come on. I'll give you that. That's the most evil money can get is the penny on the train track.

And that's a simple penny. You can do that. Literally the most worthless piece of money. Literally, genuinely the most worthless piece of money. Don't even exist anymore. Well, they exist. But they're being faced out. But it's almost like a revenge, I guess, in that sense.

Where someone's like, oh, this penny, I don't even care. Throw it onto these train tracks. Well, but I also bet, you know, know who's behind this whole getting pennies removed thing. Who? The train business. Yeah. Yeah.

Because they're doing risk mitigation by just eliminating pennies. Imagine you're a penny and you're hanging out with your two friends or two quarters. And you're in someone's pocket jingling along. You're hanging out in the pocket and they're like, they go to a museum. And you're like, and they're like, all right, I'm the thing. I'm going to get this thing. You're like, oh, wow. We're finally getting spent.

Hell yeah. Like, let's go. High fives, guys. And you and your quarters are high five. You guys get put into slots and you're like, all right, I'll see you guys in a second. I'm going to the penny slot. You guys go to the penny slot.

And the quarters go down and hang out with a bunch of quarters of that penny goes, ah! It gets completely flattened and tortured. You get a picture of a barracuda on it. And they gets put in a desk drawer for all eternity, a mutilated body. And all the quarters get to hang out

and they go back into circulation. It's terrible. Yeah, it gets empty. That's a great point. It gets sent to be like in somebody's box of shit they take to college that is just nonsense. Literally a penny torture machine. Yeah.

Wow, that's horrible. A bunch of patches that nobody's ever used. I derail a train too if that was happening to me on an institutional level. Pennies have something to prove. Yeah. Because they aren't used for very much. No, they're really not.

Less and less as time goes on. Well, let's end the episode. Yeah, let's end the episode. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to go eat some healing food. We have a,

this is, I'll put the link in the description, but chunks, man, know the date of this off the top of my head. October 16th. October 16th, Chunks is screening in New York at a theater that I don't remember either.

I really should have looked at this before. We will be at the screening. We will be at the screening and we will be doing a talkback, which I don't even know what a talkback is, guys. I guess we talk to the crowd. We'll find out. Will Meneker and Hessa also. So come through.

And go to Colomas. Me and Thomas White have a show on October 30th at Life World. Man, I'm literally wearing the shirt from that fucking play. Yep. And yeah, thanks for tuning. Thanks for tuning in. Goodbye. Alex likes, anytime Alex has ever recommended me a movie, it's always from like 1920. He always has some old. The cabinet of Dr. Collegra.

Yeah, he's got some recommendations like that. I don't know where this one came up. Because I just am not watching movies. He's bad at giving recommendations. Every movie from back then is good. Yeah, that is no bad. from then because they were doing it.

They weren't just throwing the money around. And also guys, the bad ones got literally destroyed. Oh, yeah, that's true. There's only like 20% of the movies from that era are like still exist or something. That's awesome.

I do like the good ones. They were like, okay, we screened it. Throw it in the fire. It's really funny. Put the smoke up into the air. Put it in the other stuff. They did that too with like TV shows

where they're hell of TV shows from back then where they wouldn't even like tape it. Like they would just do it. And they'd be like, Okay, send it out. Dude, that was just, they didn't have a coffee. Nobody's ever going to want to watch this again.

There's no way to do it.