Podcast About List - Ep. #406 - The Jack Off

Episode Date: October 14, 2026

Guys, I'm not gonna lie, the video is overly messed up for insane reasons, luckily the audio is intact and the video still changes some times, so it's actually completely fine if you think about it.Please share with us your thoughts on Jack Johnson and nothing else going on with this episode.Come watch CHUNKS and meet us in NY (10/16): ⁠https://www.erf.nyc/events/chapo-trap-house-screening⁠Go to CALOMAS (10/30): ⁠https://restlessnites.com/events/calomas30oct2026⁠Watch Baby Angel: https://babyangelmovie.tix.page/Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Yeah, do we want to open with just these? Yeah. Jesus. With these over here. Oh my. What are you guys doing? He just used a fishing rod to lure me onto his penis. Yeah.

It was my face. Yeah. So Joe showed up with snacks. We basically were about to, we were going to do an episode. We were just going to scream at Joe for about an hour. Joe was, I think, feeling like you wanted to smooth things over a little bit in advance and brought some snacks. And this is what Joe brought is Oreo sandwich cookies. savory mushroom flavor.

Now, this is a Chinese, yeah, Chinese, yeah, Chinese Oreo. And if you can see, you won't be able to see, but there's a little, uh, on it,

there's this little kind of, uh, bowl of mushrooms over rice and mushrooms. And I can safely say that is the most disgusting food I've ever had. Guys are cooking mushrooms. Yeah. I can't believe that they make this.

I will see it's little, little drawings of guys roast, chopping up and roasting mushrooms. and it tastes like mushrooms. It tastes like mushrooms. It's like a little. Eat a full one. I open the bag.

It smells like when you've been walking around and you have a stinky sock open. I open the bag and it smelled like a foot. It smelled like maybe. It doesn't smell good, but it smells like mushrooms. Yeah, but open it like the. Yeah, open it.

Like a fresh open. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Need the first smell. I mean, it's the same. Here's the thing. When I open it, when I open it, when I open it.

When I opened, I mean, I've been smelling it so much. Yeah. But when I opened it, it did shoot air into my face. It doesn't smell like I want an Oreo to smell, but it doesn't, it smells like food enough. It does not taste right. No, it tastes food enough. It tastes awful. One bite.

You've eaten so many nasty things. This is a proof that this is not very good. Is it Joe of all people thinks it's disgusting? Yeah. Joe would eat Halloween chicken and say it's good. These are long expired. Is that true? I think so.

That's why it tastes worse. Expired mushroom or... These are, I think, I think seven months expired. So when I went to... That's why they taste so bad. Unless this is the third of the 14th month. Oh, God, get this.

But... So when I went to the deli to pick it up... For reasons... For reasons that we'll get into later, I'm... Yeah, there's... kind of really I'm really relaxed

and I'm just trying to kind of almost exactly seven months expired but I went to the deli to go buy these and I in my classic coconut water that I wanted check those expiration date on that you might be just to be safe September 16th 2027

okay but these these didn't scan at the register and I did keep bringing him new the only reason I even got the mushroom ones was because I brought up a second one so he could scan it. And then after, when it finally scanned, I was like, oh, thank you so much. And he was like, you're a very good boy. That's what he said?

He told me that. He said, you're a very good boy or you're a very good boy. You're a very good boy. I think he said, you're a very good boy. I was like it. What? It was a puppet. It was like a alien puppet.

I think because I brought him three different packs of these Oreos. Oh, and he thought that was very good. Yeah. And he called me a very good boy. thought you were a boy. Yeah, maybe. Maybe because of how you're dressed.

You are out of dressed like a big boy. Dude, get your, get you. You are dressed like a big boy too. Oh my God. You're playing like a boy too. He's fucking kicking his,

dude, get your bare feet away from me. Well, I'm just kind of relaxed. He's relaxed because we got new an argument earlier. Nobody can even see this on camera. I know.

This is not playing. This is only to make me next to your bare feet. Why do you have sand all in the bottom of your fucking feet? You really look like you, my shoes are filled with sand. You look like you've been standing

in shallow water. I will say, That definitely plays into the whole island time thing that you already had sand in your shoes. No socks also? Well, that's because I'm on, I just kind of throw on a pair of shoes. Yeah. Your feet look gross. They do.

They're like purple. I don't want them near me. Okay. Can I keep them over here? They're like newborn baby feet color. I thought that I was smelling the mushrooms again. No, they don't smell bad. I just got out of the shower.

Maybe it is just the mushrooms. I've sanded my shoes for sure. From rinsing off after surfing. Yeah. From sort of rinsing off after surfing type of bod. Did you wear shoes, no socks? Should we get into this actual thing? because I feel like a lot of my behaviors.

You two both shut the fuck up. You guys are here to debate, not set the fucking ground rules. That's our job. The problem with debating? No, what did I just say? I'm so, get into this.

The problem with debating. We're going to do that all day. There's a fundamental problem with debating. He has to speak with a high-pitch voice for the rest of it. I'm just saying I'm so chill. We're running this. Okay, well, you're not acting show.

Cameron. The problem with debating. Cameron. Let's introduce this thing. Guys, how did this begin? This, well, we don't hear from YouTube, but just from the outside. Well, you can't, no, no, no, no. I just said, I don't want to hear from you too.

No, no, no, no. It started before the group chat. Hands, I realized that. We'll get into that. Did you hear what I just said? From the outside. Because guys, I've got enough fucking shit from you two today over this whole JJ shit. And we'll show too what that means.

I knew that there was an argument between Patrick and Joe brewing. Yeah. And this is how I knew. You can feel it. It's because they were in the office to go there. sent the text. Does Jack Johnson suck or is he cool? Everyone vote.

And you can kind of just see the immediate thing. I know, I know word for word. I know who's saying what. I know what's happening. I know where these two people in my life are right now. Check the locations on the, on the find my friends.

They're both at the office. Bouncing off of each other. Yeah, we know exactly what's going on. Yeah. So that's the, that's the kind of core of this debate. An entire thing played out. We'll get into parts of it at some point.

But I'd also would like to hear now, individually please, one at a time, your account of how we got to this point. I am curious who started it. I started it. I started it. Sort of. That was my theory.

I started it because there's this great video that went up on the internet today. Jack Johnson was performing at the Hollywood Bowl and he sings in banana pancakes. He says like, and don't you know the rain is coming? Something like that. Yes.

And then the rain, it's an outdoor theater, it started raining as soon as he sung that. And I saw that. So you think he's magic. I thought what a great moment that is. And I brought it up. I was like, did you see the Jack Johnson thing? And Patrick was so quick to dismiss, call out, call him a douchebag, call him like

douchebag music about Jack Johnson in a way that I didn't even realize people were even considering that to be the king. Which is insane. You were just, yeah. And I thought that that was quite strange. It really is kind of crazy to me that you would expect anybody else on the earth to have seen the Jack Johnson video. It's gone quite viral today. Hey man, have you seen the Jack Johnson?

I haven't seen the Jack Johnson. I haven't seen the Internet all day. I haven't seen, I haven't heard. You've been plugged in? Oh, I've been plugged in deeply. Deeply plugged in today. And now here's my side. Yes, let's hear it.

Joe, everything about that is true. Yes, he did ask me, did you see that Jack Johnson video? And I said, bro, I don't keep up with him. He makes music for fucking douchebags. I fucking hate all of his music. And he went, you said, no. Let him finish his opening statement. And he said, no, what?

You don't like Jack Johnson. Really? Really? If I could just weigh in on this really quick, this is such a textbook Joe realizing what the rest of his day is going to be. Yeah. Do you really genuinely think Patrick would like Jack Johnson? See, so this is sort of the core of the. That's the crazy thing you do.

This is the core of the whole argument. Patrick said Jack Johnson. Oh, Jack Johnson. It's like that Jason Moraz or train music. Yeah. And I said Jack Johnson, Jason Maraz, Train. They're all in the same category to me.

Jason Maraz and train are in a whole other category. That is so fucking crazy. And I would, the core of my argument was just that Patrick is in this prison of what he thinks, what he has to think is cool is cool and what he doesn't, what's supposed to be lame is lame. So you think, you think if Patrick just chilled out,

he would love Jack Johnson. I think if Patrick listened to some Jack Johnson and Jay... You think I would fucking like I listened to him. Look at this. I listened.

Look. I listened to him. No, but in the room. But what do you mean? This exact behavior... Let him fill his time. He saw his time.

This exact behavior that we're seeing from Patrick right now. Truly, he just lowers that guard. In fact, I am in a time this. He puts on some Jack Johnson music. Just press play on an album.

It doesn't matter. Your time is now up and actually, here's what we're going to do. Both. Both of you are going to get two minutes, not a second more. Okay. To get to, and let's forget about what happened to this point.

Okay. I want to hear arguments. Can we have two? Yes. Should we, should we just put all of the evidence out that we have right now? No. No. Save my evidence.

Because I do have a smoking gun. No, we're 1A, 1B, 2A, 2B. Okay. I would like to say this was introduced in the middle of my time. I would have gone. You have a, because you don't have. No, you didn't do a real intro because you didn't know the rules yet. This is not, this is, again, this is, again, this is, again, this is, again, this is, this

has nothing to do with each other. This has to do with arguing your point and the, the topic is, is Jack Johnson chill? Chill. That's not what it was. Well, that's the original question was cool. The original question is cool or sucks? I think he said, I think, yeah, let's look at the original message. It was, does Jack Johnson suck or is he cool? Everyone vote. Okay. So that, so this is sucks. That's cool. All right. But because he was in the middle of talking, we're going to give you the first word. Okay. You have two minutes starting three, two, one. So I think Jack Johnson sucks completely.

I don't think that there's ever been a good song of his ever. I think every single song, like, okay, curious George soundtrack, everyone wants to argue that. No, it's because you were a baby when that came out and you have a sentimental attachment to it. That is not a good song. It is in fucking Starbucks and like it's safe corporate. Drek. I think that this is maybe and you know what I can agree I can attest to this I am a very cynical person okay I think that uh you know I have a idea of what I think is cool and what I like and I'm very steadfast in what I believe about that okay

but I'm also ready to have I'm also willing to change my opinion okay and I'm saying that now because apparently there's a smoking gun that is not a smoking gun it's actually second warning. A quorum of entrapment. Anyway, Jack Johnson, uh, I think is so,

I just think he sucks. I think he sucks. I think the acoustic guitar douchebag music that he plays is shit. And I don't really need to fill my time. I don't really need to fill the time.

I don't really. Well, no, no, no. I'm just going to, I just, well, let me fill it. Yeah. I'm just going to say. I can say that I think he sucks

and it doesn't have to be an argument. It does though. It does for the episode. No, it's been an argument all day. I know. It does have to be an argument. No, I'm saying this argument should not have even started. He can just let me have my own opinion on it.

And you can let him have his opinion. I know. And I can say what I think. We can each say what we think. Okay, so let's reframe this. It's no longer a debate. It's each of you saying what you think and responding to what the other person thinks.

Three seconds left for Pat. Hold on, two, one. I hope he dies. Okay. All right. Are you ready, Joe? And don't you dare say a word before I press this green button.

Three, two, one, go. Ready, Joe, and go. I hear everything that Patrick's saying, and to return to my previous statement, I think this idea that Patrick has of, it's this thing for douchebags, it's corporate, it's Starbucks. Are all these preconceived notions

that he's holding on to of what things have to be for him to appreciate them and for him to like them. Jack Johnson, and I hear the John Mayor, I hear the Jason Maras, I hear the train,

I get that they make music with the cars. I said he didn't like John Mayor, and he only started liking John Mayor once the new cultural reconsideration of him, but that's what happened.

My time, my time, my time. Sorry, I have you to just get, no, no, pausing, no, you don't get to respond. This is an intro. In fact, you get 10 extra seconds. Congrats. So, these are all guys who play the guitar and sort of sing and do their thing and are like cool and sexy or whatever.

Okay? I understand that. But in the case of Jack Johnson, he's born in Hawaii. He's wearing, he's wearing swim trunks. He wears a T-shirt around. He doesn't have jewelry. He doesn't have bracelets. Yeah.

All he's doing, it's him. It's him. I'm just like of all these bracelets. No, no, no, hey, hey, five. He's surfing. He's, five, oh, he's, five, oh, he's, five added, he's surfing in the ocean. He comes back inside, and he's playing the guitar.

Jack Johnson, you can simulate his life a million times. Every single time, he is going to play the guitar, and he's going to love the beach. That's who he is at his core. And you listen to his music. You lower your, your guard. You let him into your ears. He's going to sweep you away. He's going to take you to the beach.

Imagine, eating a fish in a coconut over rice. The coconut on top of the rice? No, it's in it's in, it's in, it's in, it's in, it's in, it's in, it's in, it's in, and there's a beautiful fish, blackened fish on top. Yeah. And then you go back in the water. That's what Jack Johnson's all about.

And even the idea that douchebaggery is involved. You don't wait 20 minutes. The idea that douchebaggery is involved at all and that it is, is not this pure just guy who does like this was so offensive to me. And I'd like to rebuttal to that. I think that it's all a facade. I don't think he's really like that. I think that he's honed in a personality that he can sell so that he can get onto things like

the Curious George soundtrack. I think that- I'd like to pose a question to Joe, actually. One thing, sorry, he said this thing about the re-evaluation of John Mayer. I never fucking said any of that shit. I wasn't even aware of the reevaluation. He didn't say anything about it. And then he accused me of liking the Grateful Dead.

I fucking hate the Grateful Dead. I'm just saying his... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you did. I know, no, no, no, because you said... What I'm saying is, I fucking hate the Grateful Dead. Patrick's... I'm chill. It's clear.

Patrick's like... You have a secret darkness that everyone's going to follow out. John Mayer just happens to coincide with the cultural re-evaluation of John Mayor's music. You are... You are alleging cultural reappropriation. That's like the third time you've gotten this close to saying. And John Mayer is out right now.

People redug up that thing about him saying his dick is David Duke. So maybe he's now out of Patrick. Joe. Out in Patrick's book now. Joe, your argument here, you allege that Patrick is liking artists just specifically because of he's trapped in a cage. He has to only like things that he deems are cool.

Can I ask you this, Joe? you like, what's his name, Jack Johnson's music? Yes. Would you like his music less if you found out, without beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Jack Johnson was faking his image, he hated surfing, he never goes surfing, he only does photo ops, this entire lifestyle is an utter sham. Would you like his music less? You know what? I absolutely would.

You absolutely would like it less. Because I think that, I don't think you could sing that way about these specific topics. You didn't have a love for the surf. I have a follow-up here because I think that would, but if that were true, you would like his music less. So wouldn't you say that you are also only liking the music based on the image of it? It doesn't have to do with the music itself. It's only what you think is cool, which is the beach lifestyle. It's the music perfectly matches the lifestyle.

It is a Venn diagram of a zero. I want to push back on that because I don't think it does because I've never once listened to the song Banana Pancake. have been like this guy's a surfer. But think about he's coming out of the water. He's making banana pancakes. He's walking into his little beach shack. He starts out in bed in the song. And he's looking out in the ocean and there's waves.

How do you know he's in the ocean? He doesn't fucking say anything about that. Because that's the uvra. I mean, to be honest, I'm not that familiar with the uvra. I looked up the lyrics earlier. I've been listening to Jack Johnson since we've had this argument. Julio, if you're here, can you pull up Jack Johnson, banana pancakes lyrics on there?

Can I just say one thing, though? I can admit that I like stuff because of the stuff that I think it's cool and then if I dislike something I'll be very vocally against it okay but I've never once liked something because everyone else liked it your taste just happens to coincide perfectly with things that people think no because I don't there's a lot of hipster shit that I fucking name one hipster thing you don't like I don't like geese wow that's power that's power that I mean, that's the biggest one here, I would say.

Joe, opinions on geese. I like them. I like the music. Interesting. Just the music, not the image. The image, I think is great because I think it's just what those. Do you think they perfectly coincide with their image? I think that a big reason why people appreciate them so much is because they do, the music is quite close to the image.

But what about you? Okay. Can I ask you a question back to back to if he was fake? And I think this geese idea is almost pushback against something in another classic kind of a three way. I just think, Joe, like, I think that your argument doesn't really hold water. Ocean water. When you're so concerned with the image at all. I don't think that the image should really even come into it.

Also, your argument is sort of boiling down to, I think Patrick is a fake fuck. No, no, no, no, no. I also like the idea that if you let your guard down and let his music into your heart is somehow also predicated on, but if you also look at all the pictures of him surfing and think about how he's a surfer guy. The music does not hold up on its own. The music does not hold up on its own. You have to look at a fucking picture of him surfing. This is, no, you don't have to look at a picture of him surfing.

But I'm saying that knowing that he is surfing is a part of it. Let's go to the banana pancakes lyrics. Can you sing these for us, Joe? There's no need to go outside. He's not on the beach. Well, because it's raining. He's not on the beach. Can you sing these, please?

Well, I can't you see that it's just rain. I don't really know the song that well. There ain't no need to go outside. Can we do a different? Jack Johnson song? Because I know these I don't know these. Why?

He does, make a banana a fuck about. Pretend like Yucolaley here. He's from Hawaii. I didn't even know that. I kind of always assumed

you were just saying that for no reason. I also listened to him because of this argument. When I heard Halaka ukulele in the song, I fucking shut it off because I got so mad at how dushy that is. Did you say something?

Why is it douchey to be Hawaiian? No, it's dushy for a white guy to be like, I love like the sounds of the ocean in Hawaii. You do it. is from Hawaii though. Yeah, I know, but it's dushy for a white guy to do that.

I didn't know all this stuff about him being from Hawaii. Halaka ukulele, Mama made a baby. Joe. This is a genius songwriter, apparently. It's not about genius. It's just about the calm. It's, I've been listening to... So you would like to listen to a song made by AI.

You would like to listen to a song made by AI. This is the same fucking argument. I'm going to say, I'm going to say objection. I'm objecting to that. That's the same thing. Maybe if I loved being a computer. If you put on a Jack Johnson playlist, if you put on a Jack Johnson playlist.

I think that this is maybe, this is maybe. He's not a beach guy. He's not a beach guy. I think there's nothing better than the beach. I think that if you guys have spent some time on the beach with the people that you love without a care in the world, there's truly no better place to be. And what listening to a Jack Johnson thing,

going through your day, listening to Jack Johnson does. You go through your day. It teleported. I've been going through my day. I went home. I cleaned the house a little bit. And then I took... What specific chores did you do in the house? I put things away. I put the summer clothes into the box. So you put away the summer clothes.

Which is the beach guys, which is the beach guys, one of his worst nightmares. I watched the dishes. So you had a really bad day. Well, no, because you're a beach guy. Because I know the beach is going to be there. No, well, we don't know that anymore because of it. Can I just say if you... I'm going to say this about your taste.

If an AI song slipped into a Jack Johnson radio thing, you wouldn't be able to tell. an AI song that was like AI in the style of Jack Johnson, you would still like that. And then you would find out the artist is AI. I think that that's probably true. And I think it's true for almost everybody. Would you feel the same, Joe, if you found out that Jack Johnson was Jewish? No. Yeah.

You would? You'd feel exactly the same. Yeah. What if he was like really, really Jewish? Like Matas Yahoo? He already likes Modis Yahoo. Oh, but like sort of. Probably not like a surfing guy.

I don't like Montesia because it's warm. I see, I think that this argument is, if he was like Jack Johnson and doing the Jack Johnson's vibe and the Jack Johnson music, I don't see why the Jewish thing would be a problem for me. Canadian Jewish. That's cool. But again, I think that the, I would like that more. Yeah. The life of a Canadian, the life of a Jewish Canadian person. I'd like to hear about that.

I think that's probably a different vibe. But still singing about the beach. Okay. Joe and I agreed on, Joe and I agreed. on that I said that I said in my argument I said that Jack Johnson is just aping like dudes like you know like like like singer songwriter guys like Lobby Cifra and we both agreed that we really like Lobby Cifra I don't know who that is if it's anything like Jack Johnson it's probably not very good no no no he's good he sings that song watch me or watch me watch me watch me watch is my song my song

It's called my song. And I wonder what it means. I know that sample. That's a kind of song that you two like for drastically different reasons. You like it because it's like, oh, it's sort of weird. And you like it because he says, this is my song. I don't like it because it's weird. It's a good song.

I do like some whimsy in a song. Yeah. I'm not going to put up against that. I'll admit the approach that I have to some art, I think, is a bit pretentious. I've never once. Okay. Never once. I was praising right now.

Amen. Which is not the point here. The point is, does Jack Johnson suck? These are, these are the curve balls that Joe keeps throwing. I guess we should kind of, I do want to, I think we've kind of, we're kind of hitting bedrock of this current.

The pretend, I think Jack Johnson is without pretension. It's sort of my vibe. Well, you said he's cool. I think he's without pretension because he's AI. I want to pull it away from this. And I want to bring it back to the original question. we've argued a lot about whether he sucks right now. But let's talk about whether he is cool.

Yes, you need to prove the positive. Why is he cool? Because he's chill. No, that's different. He's completely chill. He's wearing... He's wearing shorts and a t-shirt. He's wearing shorts and a T-shirt.

Joe, if he's not trying to change who he is for anyone. This is, that's a terrible argument. Are you sure about that? Joe, if we have... I kind of, I kind of feel like he is trying to change himself for people. Yes. I don't think he's from when I don't like him. From when I knew him from the first time I ever heard his music, he's the same guy now, it seems.

Watch this video of, can we watch the video of it raining? No, copyright strike you too. I mean, what do you know about him? I know he's from Hawaii. I know he hasn't changed. He loves the beach. It's never changed. He loves surfing.

He plays the guitar and I've listened to his music. This is going to make that hasn't changed either. At the beginning of today, I had two songs saved by him. Do you know how old he is? After today, I have seven songs saved by. He's 51. It's going to make everyone that listens to the show, heat my guts. We were talking about this earlier.

Yeah. But the kind of 51-year-old guy you can be, you can be a 51-year-old guy who reads books and has rectangular glasses and sits in the thing and is kind of weak. The thing. You can be a big strong guy who's scary and has big muscles and they're poking out of your shirt. Or you can just be true to you. And that's what Jack Johnson's all about.

Those two things are not true to themselves. So basically what you're saying is the types, you can either be. a guy who goes to the beach or a fucking fake loser who's not true to themselves. You think the only way to be true to yourself is to go to the beach and write bad songs about it. That's exactly what you just said. I'm saying that he's just... You just said that both those other guys who are living their truths by the way are not being true of themselves. When I'm 51, if I've kind of got a Jack Johnson vibe to me, I'll be thrilled.

I also want to kind of drop something here that I've been thinking about for a minute. I think the main reason you like Jack Johnson is because his name is a little similar to Joe Gle. It starts with a J and ends with a sun. See, I think that's a huge factor that you don't even realize consciously. I can't even comment on it because I don't know. I can't dive that deep. I don't see Sun and think that's me. Well, let's say, here's something I just found.

Fans and media often brand him as the ultimate laid-back passive beach guy. Johnson has noted in interviews that he is actually competitive, driven, and deeply engaged in political activism. What kind of politics? mostly environmentally yeah he probably played you probably campaign for like Obama

which is always that's always the thing you do when you become a celebrity and you're like oh I really need to not take a stance but I need to seem like a good person yeah you only do you only do environmental stuff

people also ask what was Jack Johnson accused of Jack Johnson was accused of the man act also known as the white slave traffic act by allegedly transporting women specifically his former mistress

Bell Schreiber and later his white wife Lucille Cameron. This is a different Jack Johnson. He's a boxer. Yeah. When it said white wife.

He was pardoned in 2018 by President Donald Trump. A posthumous pardoned. Wow. A posthumous partner. He got it. Yeah. So that is...

Okay. So what I said had nothing to do with this. I'm just going to go ahead. I'm going to admit that. I'm going to strike it from the record. Let me say something. say something. Please. Okay. One, I already know everyone's going to hate me

about this episode. They're going to say I'm an annoying douchebag and they're like oh, oh, I love, oh, but Joe, no, no, whatever. Two, if Joe had just said, is Jack Johnson chill or does he sucks? We could all agree he's chill. Get that out of my fucking face.

But also, if Jack Johnson is acting like you're acting right now, wiggling you're fucking having your, your fucking dogs barking all over me, I would not like him or think he was chill. If he walked in and he was like, if I take my shoes off, suck my balls,

you will go back to Hawaii. I think being too chill is a bad thing. Me too, because it means you don't stand for anything. I think you need to have some rigor. What? I need to have, I think you need to have some rigor in your life.

See, I think if. I didn't think you said that. Dude, you think I said that with a W. No, no, no, I thought you said that with a W.

Why would I say that? I don't know. That would be a very interesting accusation to levy against Mr. Jack Johnson. Yeah. But anyway, I think, okay, to this point why I think Jack Johnson sucks, I think, I think that he does not take, like, direct political stances. I mean, maybe, let's prove this right now. He had no idea what his politics were before this.

You think you don't like his music because he doesn't take political stances. No, I'm saying this is why he sucks. I'm saying he sucks, okay. So when I asked you first, and you said he sucks, it's because. of his hypothetical political. No, no, no, no, sorry. Strike everything I just said because it doesn't matter. The conversation is, does his music suck?

No, it's does he suck? Oh, okay. Oh, wait, this is interesting. I think this is kind of, to your point, Johnson frequently partners with the nonpartisan voter registration group headcount to encourage young and first-time voters, but it's not partisan. We shouldn't get the voters out?

No. his young people often skew to the left. No, you're right. Okay. In 2008, wait, hold on, wait, we're back. Yeah, I'm on. Back on Joe's side. At 2008, he supported Barack Obama's campaign. I said that. I said he campaigned for Obama.

In 2020, he performed at a presidential campaign rally for Bernie Sanders. Patrick. And he, uh, public reporting noted his alignment with progressive political efforts such as participation linked to the white dudes for Harris campaign movement. I'm out. You know, it's kind of right there in the middle there. I'm out. He's chill.

He's a. centrist. No. He's probably, he's probably fine. I'm saying his music sucks. So here's, this is an interesting thing because this, I'll bring up my smoking gun at this point. Yeah. One second. Can I just drop a detail first? Yeah. He married his college girlfriend on July 22nd, 2000, and they have two sons and a daughter. That's beautiful. How can we, how can we in this room not appreciate that? He's probably a fine guy. Maybe he is a douchebag in real life though, but we can't tell. Johnson and his wife have declined to talk about or release information about their children. What are they hiding?

One of their kids has a horn. They don't want them in the public eye. We don't know that. Why? Because they're ugly? Because they want to be at the beach. But. And not, no, they don't want the paparazo. How do we know these kids are safe?

We don't, we have no proof of life. If the paparazzo know what they look like, they'll never leave them alone. No. Okay. Let me, let me say this before you get into the smoking gun. We have strayed so far because it's a podcast and we need to fill time. No, I'm, I want to hear this. We've strayed so far because it's a podcast and we need to fill a time. My original point was that his music sucks. I put him in the same categories as Jason Maraz and train as music that when I hear it, when I hear it, I don't like it.

Okay. Bad music we would say. Bad music that I hate. And this is opinions based. Okay. I cannot like it and I don't need Joe to be like, what? Oh. See, this is interesting. What? This, this I don't like it, blah, blah, blah thing. I can say that it sucks. When we were hanging out in the office today and having this sort of little dispute, this little back and forth. A tiff. Because you like to argue and I like to argue back with you because it's funny. I played,

I was playing Jack Johnson songs on my phone. I said, hey, do you like this? I said, no. I played this one. No. And then I played one of Patrick's friends songs. Yeah. Hold no. Say what you really did. So no, no. Here's here's. This is for storytelling purposes. I play one of Patrick's

friends songs. And Patrick goes, oh yeah, yeah, I like this one. I said, Patrick, this is a Jack Johnson song too. Yeah. This is also a Jack Johnson song. And then Patrick is trying to run back. He's trying to say this was a trick. You've tricked me into saying this thing. And it's just me playing the music. This is just music talking for music. You said it was my friend Riley's song. Which if I hear, if you play it, you say this is your friend Riley's song. And I go, yeah, that's probably, that's good. I haven't listened to the new album yet. And then you cut off also, you conveniently cut off the video. You were kind of one of the,

You said this? This is what he did. He was feeling it. This is what he did. This is what he did, though. He played two Jack Johnson songs before that, but told me they were Riley's songs. And the first two, the first two, the first two. That's deceitful.

You have to admit. The first two. That's not just music speaking for itself. The first two, I said, if this is by my friend, I don't like it that much, but it's fine. It was a cover of the white stripes. I think that we're going to be friends. And I was like, you know, like, you know, like, If he wants to cover that song, I don't like that song that song that's his

prerogative. It's fine. Whatever. It's like, yeah, whatever. That's my friend. There's one song, and I haven't heard my friend's new album. Okay. Supposed to be by Jack Johnson. What's the song? He was playing supposed to be. And I thought, gotta eat the booty like groceries. That one? Yeah. Because you gotta eat the booty like groceries. If that's how it's supposed to me. If that's how it's supposed to be. Yeah. If you'd play that, I'd be fine with that. Has Jack ever collaborated with rappers? No, because it wouldn't be true to his...

It wouldn't be true to his... What? His music isn't... This is no, like, Weiser in 2012. His music is totally like, like, and then him going like, like, he could do like scat rap over his fucking shitty acoustic stuff. If Jack Johnson featured a rapper on a song,

he betrayed himself, I'm not a fan anymore. That's basically what you're saying. What I'm saying is... How do you know what's true to him? I don't think so because his music doesn't often have beats or drums in them. This boxer is really throwing a wrench in things because I googled Jack Johnson Dark Secrets. And the first result is Amazon.com. Unforgivable blackness, the rise and fall of Jack Johnson.

Jack Johnson is one of the early famous prize fighters in our country. So you're just a huge Jack Johnson fan in general. It doesn't matter which guy. I know more about the currently alive one. Oh, okay. As far as we know. Yeah. That bet you seem to know quite a bit about this dead guy too.

I know of him. I'm not making any amazing points here. Tennessee State Senator Jack Johnson. There's a lot of Jack Johnson. There are no credible dark secrets associated with the Hawaiian singer-songwriter Jack Johnson. Online rumors and speculation occasionally link him to conspiracies such as baseless internet clams confusing him with Jeffrey Epstein.

Okay. Let's do the map there. Island. Island. Songs for kids. Can you admit that that it's songs for children? It is songs for children. I'd say that curious.

It's baby shit and it sucks. Curious George. is on the SpongeBob level of it's for the kids, but there's some stuff for the adults there too. Like what? Like the groove and the vibe and the feelings of it all. That's so far from what there is for parents in SpongeBob. I like the groove.

The groove. Yeah, no, you don't like the parents. Yeah, the groove. That's not for the parents. We all do comedy, the groove of the jokes. You're asking if I like the song. The music from Spunk. I think you're talking more like Ocean Man.

Do, do, do, do, do. I'm talking more that's really That's better than That's better than That's better than Jack Johnson song. You know what you're talking about? I used to listen to a hour long on that

A long version of that. Look at how you're all singing it still. That's better than every Jack Johnson son. That is better than every Jack Johnson song. Joe, I used to listen to an hour long version of that. You're weird. No, that's normal.

You're both weird guys. That's better than listening. any Jack Johnson's song. So another point against you here is that everybody on R slash music agrees with you on this post I just found. That he's chill? That everyone's like, how can you hate him? The dude, how can you hate Jack Johnson?

The dude gives everything he has back to the community. Okay, but... That seems cool. It's not, it's not contrarian of me to dislike him. If that's the general consensus. I was just, I just think it sucks. They also said, this person said, Jack isn't his art, but a husband, father, friend,

farmer, community liaison, community leader, first and last out mentality. Wait, wait, listen, wait. Soft spoken soul, God respecting, this list could have gone on for days. And then the reply says, God respecting, L.O.L. I guess that must mean he's a good person if he respects a fantasy deity. Oh, okay.

So let's get into... That's got into a whole other thing. Let's get into Christianity debate. Yeah. Is he Christian? I think he's just non-judgmental. But is he a non-judgmental Christian? I just hate that shit. I just hate that shit. You like Christians? Blant, boring, vanilla. Every song sounds the same. music for people who don't like music. Patrick said he doesn't like Christians. Yeah, he said he doesn't like

Christians. I fucking hate all organized religion. Well, you don't like Christians. But I fuck with, I fuck with the ones that could kill me. Josh Johnson is not known to be a Christian and has famously referred to surfing as his religion. Come on. What do you mean? That's what it's all about. That's great. I read that. I read that. That's very poorly. That's fucking sick. That gets you hyped up to read that sentence. No. Have any of you surfed? What, what, how did you feel about? surfing afterwards. I mean, it was pretty fun.

What is that supposed to be? A smoking gun? Come on. I've never... You don't think it's the lame as... Joe, I'm not actually surfing as my own. I've never... Speaking of, by the way, he's played his smoking gun and it was immediately dismissed. No, no, no. I've never

played it to... Because he lied also. Yeah, you lied. Yeah, he lied. All you did was lie. Not Christian. I've never surfed because I know that if I did, I couldn't stop. That's a good I would just keep on going because, you know, I know it's a lie, but for this, that's a great line.

That's a fucking amazing line. I know who surf cannot stop surfing. Their life is... It's ruining their life, huh? No, their life is perfect. Because they found... You shouldn't do that either. They found a time and place

where they can surf. Joe, the more you talk, the more... You're not talking about Jack Johnson. You unleash your dog. And you're surfing... Let him talk. Unleash your dog.

And your dog is kind of running around and it's digging in the sand. you are like, I'm going to go out to surf, if your dog runs back to your little beach shack. And you'd mention that's the third time you mention a beach shack. What do you, it's, Jack Johnson House. The thing of Jack Johnson House, let's see what this guy's beach shack. Let's see this house.

The thing that's so great about Jack Johnson is it takes you to a place. It takes it to a new place. Here's the thing. I don't even know what songs or what. It's just the vibe of it all. That's a, yeah, that's a, that's not a good sign. So annoying this episode. Here's the thing.

I really believe that I say, I say Jack Johnson House, let's go. I wouldn't be surprised if it would. was a little beat shack and it was humble. But the fact is, the fact is, the fact is I just really think his music is for people who don't know what music is. Yeah. And I was saying this earlier, I think it's for people who turn on Pandora. Yeah.

And one comes on and they turn on and they go. The Spotify AIDJ. Wait, wait. It's that it's not even the Spotify AI DJ because that requires a listening history. I'm going to go to Jack Johnson. Somebody was trying music for the first time. This is first music. First song.

Jack Johnson Radio. I want to get a sense. of what other things. I'm telling you the first thing that's going to play is Jason Maraz, I'm yours. Jack Johnson, Neil Young.

Fuck off with that. Payty Tunstall. Van Morrison. Faces. The Shins. Bahamas. Rod Stewart. Steve Miller Band.

Jack Johnson. Matchbox 20. Eagles. Paula Fuga. Yeah, it's for old Jim Crochet. It's for people who don't want to pick something.

But I'm saying none of these are also none of these. It's an algorithm based on your taste. That's from Spotify. We need to make a new Spotify account. A blank Spotify account. This is an algorithm based on stuff you would listen to you.

But these things sound like songs that you would like too, Patrick. I probably, they're probably stuff I did like on there. But Jack Johnson is not Neil Young. I know, but he's sort of the Hawaiian. He's not Neil Young.

There's nothing. He's not the Hawaiian Neil Young. While Neil Young is singing about his own personal thing, Jack Johnson is singing his personal things. You said there well. I'm on the computer and you just said

shit like this at me for like an hour. Of course I'm getting The idea that an artist singing about, quote, their own personal thing makes it good. It means that you like it. It makes it true. Which means what?

I think that's what Neil Young. No, no, no, no. Which means what? Which means... When music is true, means what? It means that... To use Jason Maraz as the counterpoint,

Patrick showed me that Jason Maraz made... Dodging the question. Well, I'm getting around to it. Jason Maraz made sort of like kind of hip rap style stuff. You think Jason Maraz wasn't really yours. When he said I or he was lying. He wasn't about that. I don't think Jason Maras was about that.

And I think people can tell. I think Jason Maras is co-opting the Jack Johnson vibe in order to reach. So you agree they are similar. No, no, no. And I can see it to this. The vibe of I'm yours is absolutely a Jack Johnson-ish vibe. Yeah. But it is taking that vibe, distilling it, crushing it up,

centerfuge, and it's putting it out on the pop radio station for all the year. I conceded to this. I already conceded this. I think that Jason Maraz is a Jack Johnson Biter. I said this. I don't want to be like... But I think he's putting on that hat to try to be a new kind of guy. This is I feel like whenever I

start thinking like this, I feel like this is like a reversion into like middle school like Facebook post type thing that I just can't get away from. But I just have to say I don't think that the guy who we like who's putting a million copies of his album out and everyone knows his name and all this is a true chill beach guy.

You cannot deny there's an element of corporatism He's on tour His CDs are in Starbucks Get yours I don't know about the Starbucks thing You say get yours You want you to get a seat?

You want me to get my CDs in Starbucks Get yours today I just don't think that that I think that You gotta have some hustle The point of that The point of that is not to say Oh like he's not really about

But I just don't think My point is I don't think it matters To be true Yeah No because you can sing about whatever. You can sing about a human emotion. You can sing about a human emotion, but like Neil Young does. Neil Young is

way fucking better than Jack Johnson in every way. And I'm not even a fucking Neil Young fan. I didn't start listening to him until like last year. He's never really been on my radar. But the stuff that I have listened to from him is not him saying, I'm on the beach and I'm looking

for shells. And I'm looking for gold. Yeah, he's not doing that. I'm on the beach and I'm looking for. I'm looking for metal. That would be cool. I would listen to the fuck out of that song. I really wish that when this argument started,

it would be a metaphorical thing about him. A guy. And listens to an entire Jack Johnson album. Because I can't say I have. Can I read, let's read the on that, the one that has been in a pancake. I'm being such a, I'm being such a put. You better hope you're not.

You gotta get over this, man. It's also, it's just, dude, you're too self-conscious about this. You have to just, you have to feel how you feel. How can you be self-conscious about hating Jack Johnson the most hateable? I know, but it's easily, you're not even on your own side.

That's the most like softball contrarian take of all time. I know, but that's the thing though is all of my opinion softball contrarian shit. Dude, we're not even talking about all your opinions. That's what he was saying. He was saying that. He was saying that you're rolling over. I'm not rolling over. You know what?

Because you're right. We're straying. He said that to stray from the original point to make himself right. I'm going to be honest. I even said the names of these songs. I haven't said anything about five minutes or you don't. Better together. I fucking hate that song.

So. That song has the shitty, the shitty, the shitty, scat, rap, acoustic shit that I fucking hate. This guy's putting ems on these listening numbers. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I mean. Huge. Okay. You tell me, just based off the vibe of the name, better together, we know that one.

You're saying, no, no, no, nah, man, nah, da, nah. You're saying a guitar going. Which are you on the yellow album or the In Between Dreams? Are you saying the yellow album to avoid saying the Curious George album? No, there's a different one. We jackhead just call it, the yellow. This is the one that I've listened to, is this sort of blue and red one.

Oh, whoops, I'm actually, I was like, why are you playing that shit, man? Yeah, we can't listen to it. And one time I was in California, the song Hope by Jack Johnson was the first one I ever heard. And I was in California, and there's a guy playing the guitar on the street, and he played that song.

I hate those guys. He has a song. They always play the worst songs. They're never playing. There's no person on the street doing Tracy Chapman's shit. anymore. They're all playing. Oh, here's my cover of Eleanor Rigby where I tap on the fucking guitar and shit. He does have a different vibe in his debut. He has titles such as sexy plexy. Whoa. Bubble toes. I want to hear that. Yeah, can we look up sexy pleatsy? I want to hear

sexy plexy. I really need to hear sexy plexy. Okay. Lyrics. Sexy sexy sexy made up of plexy disasters, pushing and pulling conservative rolling. Sexy sexy, do your thing, learn to be shy and then you can Sting, Plexie, Plexie, Ben, don't Shatter once your broken shape won't matter. It's such... He wants to break them. What album is this? This is from Brushfire

balloons or something. You're breaking your mind. This is psychic driving. This ends with, you're breaking your mind, you're breaking your mind, you're breaking, this is fucking, this is MK Ultris. This is M.K. Ultris.

This is how he got everyone to listen to the next album. Yeah, this is deprivation. You're breaking your mind to listen to dog shit. Can you play just the beginning of this song? Just skip to the middle. I don't want to get copyrighted. but I just need to hear what this sounds like.

I guess I have a pretty good idea of what it sounds like. If you copyright strike us, I think that is a point against you being chill. I think that that is like, if you copyright this shit, you should be no copyright rate on Jack Johnson's songs. I agree. If he's so chill. Here we go.

Sexyplexing. And everyone you wanted to know. And everyone you wanted to meet. Have I. My foot. It's tapping. Sort of Boston Nova vibes. This is not the same as normal.

No. I don't like this as much as normal. It's not the same. And it's also, I hate this type of shit. But you hate that type of fucking, like. You can tell he's got some different. You can tell he's got some heart there. I hate when a white,

when a white person in a song or anyone. It's all about race to me. It's all about race to me. But I really hate when a guy is, does the thing where it's like they're playing the acoustic guitar and they do the like, and you know, my, my,

I'm always said. No, nah, nah, no, so na, nah, nah,

you know what I'm talking about. Like that scat, the scat breakdown. Is it. somebody like stop their playing and then they stop and they go like, when I was young and I motherfucker, I was the fucking worst shit in the world to me. That is, I fucking hate that so

much. I think I'm with you on that. I hate that so much. I don't like that either, but that's not the Jack Johnson fun. That's what he does. Not in his normal music. I've never seen that. So annoying, dude. I fucking hate myself. But that's what he does. But why do you hate yourself, Patrick? I don't hate myself like that. But why are you getting so mad at yourself in this argument?

This is sort of where the core of, mind is coming from. You're being so sinister and... I know. You're psychic. You're driving. Me. You can see Patrick is in deep distress.

What I'm saying... What I'm saying, no, this is the exact argument I'm making. It's that Jack Johnson's... Hey, hey, hey, chill out. Jack Johnson's music is the perfect remedy for something feeling like this. Oh my God. I'm that.

I fucking hate myself. I hate this and that. Better throw on banana pancakes. Listen to his album. Don't put on... Don't put on... Don't put on this one of your kid. Did you listen to your kid?

Not really. Okay. Put on. Because if I feel like this, I put on stuff I listen to you at the house when I was a kid. Put on sleep through the static. Why would I fucking do that? Put on that album. I would never put that on.

Press play. Start to finish. No. Go about your day. Clean. I'll listen to it. I'll listen to it later. I'll listen to it later.

Clean the house. I will give you a fucking. I will give you a pitchfork style review. Okay. I'm going to learn the history. That's eating away at you. You need to release. I agree.

I agree that there's a cynicism to the opinions that I have. have on Jack Johnson, but I can also not like it. I can also just not like it for normal reasons. I think that that shit fucking sucks. I like my favorite, what did I did I did, the top nine albums. Did you do yours? I also, can I throw something out there that is just like, I mean, you're not going to like, we can compare top nine albums. And there's going to be no recourse. So we're not, not going to be able to meet in the middle on this. But I just think, making music about being a chill guy who goes on the beach is like the least interest. stupidest fucking thing to make music about. And that's a vibe I never, ever want to hear on my ears is I'm chilling out on the beach.

What do you listen to at the beach? At the beach, I would just, I think I would listen to just the same normal stuff I like. Which we can go through, but I know about that. I think here's the thing. When I'm at the beach, I'm usually not listening to my own music. Somebody would have a speaker. Yeah. So what do you want to hear?

Who would you rather trust? This is kind of a funny little thing here. The song that I remember playing at the beach when I was a kid that my dad played on his speaker and I was like, this is awesome, was 1251 by the strokes. And that to me, that to me is like the prime beach song. I'd be interested in what your dad thinks about the strokes because he likes music. Yeah. What does your dad about Jack Johnson? Sorry.

I'm sure my dad. I'm sure my dad hates Jack Johnson. Can you text your dad right now and ask what do you just say, hey, dad, what do you think about Jack Johnson? Johnson. Maybe say thoughts on JJ? Thoughts on Jack Johnson. I won't say thoughts on JJ. The,

uh, see, Jack Johnson, the thing that I think is nice about it is imagine you're in a beach shack and you're, I don't want to imagine I'm in a beach shack. You're in a beach house. I'll indulge you. Yes.

I've been in a beach house. They have a sonos or whatever where it's just music that's playing. So it's a rich person's house. Here's my problem with this. It's just the way you're going with this. It's just music that's playing in the background. This music. I have to say this,

what you're describing is not a beach house vibe. It's a beach hotel. this music that you are looking for here this entire senior painting the songs have been written for this 40 years ago and it's jimmy buffett that is actual island time beach music jimmy buffett's a little bit more about like drinking i think or some some reggae yeah or some reggae i love reggae this music has been around i i love jack johnson is aping hawaiian music but like i don't know is he are we yes yeah yeah yeah so are we just punishing jack johnson for being born 51 years ago? No. No. We're not punching him. I would like to. Yeah. I would like to

get my hands on. I don't know that a jury would convict him of that. What? This is my nine. This is your nine albums. I think you did your nine too, right? Do you have your nine? Can I see, but you can't read it. Okay. Steve McQueen by prefab sprout. Faith by the Cure. Scott 2 by Scott Walker. Roxy Music by Roxy Music. Silent Alarm by Block Party in the Flatfield, bow house, in search of by nerd, Peter Gabriel self-titled and introspective by the Pet Shop Boys. That's why I don't like Jack John. I can say that's why I don't like it.

Did you do? I thought you did yours and I thought we could compare them. I was just with you. Give me nine off the top of your head. The nine albums that made Joe Gleason. That's quite difficult. Let me look at my top songs. Yeah.

You can also just do your top songs. Yeah. My top songs that I've listened to ever. Yeah. I thought Joe did them. That's why I brought that up and that's just. My all-time top songs. songs. It really adds nothing. Fatlip. What's up Fat Lip? I like that. I love that song,

actually. Bowley goes dancing drunk in something, something. What's that? You don't even know the name of the song? Is that like a cartoon episode? It's by the band Loving. Bowley goes dancing. Oh, shit, I'm playing. There's a song. I was telling Cameron about this. There's a song that you played one time in the car or something and it just shuffled or like maybe we were at a pool or something, but you played some song that was like, oh yeah, on the island. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Having the best ever. What was that song? Probably Jack Johnson. No, it sounded like, it sounded like, uh, kind of like,

what's it? What are those fucking brothers that have that horrible band? Naked brothers band. The Jonas Brothers. AJR. A.J.R. Is that what they are? I know the name A.J.R. Is this the ones who have the SpongeBob song? I don't know. Maybe.

I don't know. That they're like, they make like, you should check out, uh, falling in reverse. I feel like you would love that kind of thing. Dr. Dog. Okay. Yeah. Um, from, Oh, you did. This is what you did. You told me these. Lobby, Cifra, Parquet Quartz, David Bowie, Spoon.

Nito by Three Locco. Yeah. We agreed that that's a good song together. See, we have all this stuff we already agree on. I think I can just say I don't like Jack Johnson. There's nothing better. That sounds like... Great. Thanks, Google. I think it's okay for me to say that.

And I don't think that we need to get into an argument about it. You're already in it, but I'll say... But we're already in it. So here's the thing. This is why it's still going on. So I got Patrick on a blind list and to agree that he liked a Jack Johnson song. Because I thought it was my friends. Okay.

Whatever the pretense. And I didn't want to be on a video saying my friend shit sucks. You didn't know that he was recording you already. I did know. Until he recorded me three times today. That was afterward. The first one though. He recorded me three times today.

And he made, he took one video where I looked like absolute dog shit. It is a little creeper vibes to be recording him. He would ask me a question about it and then I would turn around It was only because we were deep in this debate It was only... Like the idea that you were filming it to send to us

Instead of just getting the gotcha for yourself Right Well because it was then At that point it was being brokered I think you are by far The aggressor of this argument I agree But

I agree Although the first aggression Came from Patrick I think you are I think you're retreating into that I continued forward But the one thing I'll say is I was willing to...

The first aggression did not come from me. I just said Jack Johnson's cool. Look at this awesome video of him summoning the rain. And I said, I fucking hate Jack Johnson. That's an aggression. I gotta see this video. I really gotta see this video.

Can I show you my number one most played song on Apple Music? Yeah. Sounds like some early Jack Johnson. I didn't know this was my moment. Hold on, hold on. It doesn't sound like... It's not that big of a league.

It's like some Ocean's 11 music, though. I don't think I would ever listen to this either. That's what Rod Stewart stole that. If you like my body. I offered to throw away my smoking gun evidence. Dismiss it. No, you showed it. Oh, on a truce.

But I said you have to admit that you tricked me, which you also didn't have a done. I said I would need to shake hands first and accept this truce. I said, I'm not shaking your hand. Exactly. I was willing, I was extending the olive branch. I'm not shaking your hand because you tricked me. I extended the olive branch before this even happened.

Here's the thing. We don't need to have this go on anymore. Real shit right now. Okay. I think that this could have just been a normal discussion between two friends, but then you decided to trick me to prove that you're right. And I think that you're more addicted to being right than having just a conversation about music.

You know, and I just wanted to have a conversation about music. That's a true addiction here, being right and having conversations about music. Yeah. I have to say, too, you know, I saw this smoking gun. Nope. I love Naval Gazing music conversations. Sorry. broken gun video and when I saw it, I thought

damn Patrick is cooked. This is rough. But you're saying that right now I think, and I'm thinking about more, I think it is crazy that you did that. I think that's a crazy. I think pretending like, oh, Patrick is just saying this guy I like sucks. Oh, I'm the victim. Oh, God. And what do you think about this?

You're not living your Jack Johnson Jack Johnson wouldn't do that. He would never. That is nothing to do with the island lifestyle. Jack Johnson would say, oh, you don't like me, man? Hey, no problem. I'm gonna go hit the waves. He's the kind of guy who wouldn't even, I mean, he is cool. He's a kind of guy who wouldn't even.

He can all agree. He's amazing. He wouldn't even say, he would be like the kind of guy who's like in disguise or whatever. And somebody's like, oh, Jack Johnson sucks. And he's like, yeah, it's not everybody's cup of tea. Yeah, exactly. Like, that is cool. You are nothing like Jack Johnson.

And you never will. This is a disgusting fesimilar. And you brought us fucking expired mushroom. He tried to poison us and... Don't cry. Don't cry. No, no. Okay, so you are exactly like him.

Yeah. You're just like him. You look like Jack Johnson today. He looks 50. I just think Jack Johnson's cool. Yeah, I know. Yeah. We know you think he's cool, but I can think he sucks.

We can all see through this. Yeah. It's okay for me to think he sucks. Here's where I'll land on this. Yeah, let's hear it. I agree that I tricked Patrick. I agree it's not a Johnson-esque move. And it was nasty.

It's a nasty trick. It was a disgusting trick. I was willing to throw it away and I was hurt by Patrick not extending the truce handshake. I thought he would, he didn't. So you attacked him and then you were like, hey man, let's have a truth.

You don't want to have a truce? You're a cry bully. You are a cry bully. He attacked me first. I'm not a cry bully. I didn't attack you. I attacked Jack Johnson's music. The direct sequence of events

was you did a nasty trick on him that reflected very poorly on him and then immediately was like, hey man, it's no big deal. Shake my hand. You tricked me into thinking that one of my friends' songs sucks.

Can I say, but I have to say. Pat is one of the best guys on earth and to trick him is like so horrible. As a fellow argument addict and person who will stoop to the lowest of lows

that I respected that trick so deeply and it was one of the most dastardly tricks have ever seen it was pure evil it was pure machiavellian evil yeah i have this evil inside of me i said it i said it a darkness will be revealed through joe today so i do and i am this competitive guy like we're learning that jack johnson might be i know i have that no jack johnson's chill the guy i want to be yeah deep down is jack johnson so this is aspirational for you this is i want to be a Every time in every movie or TV show or anything, anytime there's a guy who's like so noble, barely talks,

strong, strong-willed really believes in something. A guy who wouldn't record his friend on... It's one of my favorite people in the world. And I'm always rooting for that kind of guy. And I kind of want to be that guy. And as I go through my life, I'm just not that guy. Yeah. I'm not a quiet guy.

You take darts too seriously. Jack Johnson isn't quiet either, though. He makes a lot of music and he puts it out. Yeah. He's loud as fuck. He doesn't keep to himself. But he is not. He is, as far as I can tell, he's

uninterested in the fame that has been brought to him. I think he must be at least somewhat He moved back to his hometown. Now, granted, it's the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii. So that's not like that humble to be like, oh, yeah, move back home, actually. Can we watch this video of Jack Johnson summoning the rain?

No. Yes, no, we have to watch this. Because I think it is a powerful video. I'll see. And I think the joy that's felt in this video is the joy that I feel from Jack Johnson, and it was why I was so confused by Patrick's pushback. That's the thing.

A video like that, I fucking hate that shit. Videos? I hate a video of like, like, oh my God, it's Jack Johnson and he said rain. And he said rain in his song and then it started raining. Fucking years of shit. Jack Johnson. Would you like that video if you didn't like Jack Johnson? Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. I saw a closer up one, but this. Okay. Okay, so I guess this is good enough. Can you unmute it? But also look at that. How the fuck do you have a good time?

at that show. Yeah, that's an entirely different. Oh, what the? This is the kind of guy who goes to a Jack Johnson concert. Oh, what the? This is not the video I saw. No internal monologue. It's a close-up of Jack Johnson.

Yeah, this sucks, man. Isn't the whole song? This is not the video I saw. Okay. Okay. I can agree. Yeah, there's probably a good video of that. Either way, that's not, if you showed me that, I'd be like, I don't fucking care.

I have to be honest, I can't imagine a better angle of that is going to make it feel powerful to me. It does. It does. Okay. I would still not like it. For some reason, this may be my problem, but for some reason when you described this video, I thought it was going to be like a flood of rain. Well, this is, you guys have interesting. I thought it was going to be like a day after tomorrow.

You guys haven't seen the video yet. I just saw. It was a different one. It was that different from that video. Yes. Excuse me. Was it a different day? Are we sure this isn't some sort of stage?

I think it's staged. He has a weather. He is a cloudbuster machine. Yeah, it could be something like that. He has it. Look at that fucking piece of shit. Wait, wait. Hey, hey, hey, hey, come on.

Come on. Come on. I saved it. I saved it on it. Yeah. All right. Let's watch it in silence. Bouchbag in the hat.

All those people are pounded to your execs. Is it raining yet? Oh, it's raining. Oh, it's raining. Joe, this sucks. So it started raining. I started getting texts in the middle of that. Joe, that sucked.

It's one of the worst videos I've ever seen. You know, it's a really good video? It wasn't that different from the other one either. Yeah. Oh, you're moved. No. Oh, that video fucking sucked. I really thought, you really did build it up.

I don't know. Yeah. Here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll concede. I think if I felt the way you felt about Jack Johnson, I would love that video. But as a guy who doesn't really have any interest in him at all, it's kind of just a video of music I don't like playing while rain starts and then a bunch of people screaming.

Yeah. So maybe you can understand my side of things as well. But there's something about Jack Johnson where he summons this rain and then he's just like... You're really glazing over that as a detail. He does not summon the rain. He sings rain and then it starts pouring. Yeah. For the rest of the song.

If you were there, you would be like, oh, that's pretty cool. I'd be like, why am I here? Yeah. Get me the fuck out of it. But I think if you went to the cock and raining. I'm sitting on my couch. Teleport. You want to see a good video?

Jump into halfway through somebody's body. What's that? It's a bull terrier walking into a dryer. That's funny. That's kind of cute. That's good. That's a more moving video. It's a warm in there.

Yeah. The Bull Terrier loves the dryer. You have you like that video. And the Bull Terrier fits in the dryer. unforgivable that's a great video yeah unforgivable it's a lean night oh yeah i forgot that's a great video that's a great video if jack johnson made that i would maybe defend him if that was playing behind him is unforgivable yeah unforgivable and he if he in a in a benfolds uh wutang style way did unforgivable to him going and i'm thinking it's a lean night yeah doing that

that i'd be like yeah jack johnson sucks but he It's really cool that he made. Like, oh, he knows unforgivable. Yeah, he knows unforgible. I'd fuck with him.

If you showed me that. It's a better video. You showed me that. You should say that. And he said, and you said, Jack Johnson made this. Jack Johnson made this.

And Jack Johnson made that. I'd be like, Jack Johnson. Oh shit. Jack Johnson kind of funny. There are people listening or even people watching because he probably couldn't see that.

That seems to be a video of a guy who spits on the ground. And it looks like a slug. It looks like a snail. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

as a flaw. As a clear shell. Jack Johnson makes that, I'm like, Jack Johnson, I'm like, Jack Johnson, I don't like his music.

Maybe this exposes me, but even then, I would be like, fuck this guy still. Really? Yeah. If he made that video, I'd be like,

well, that's not enough. Maybe it was that would be plenty for me. Imagine you meet, I think that's probably, that probably says, he was a viner.

But imagine you meet a guy who's a very famous singer and he's so chill and he just shakes her hand and he just has a real conversation. Joe, wait, I need to hear the other.

He just has a real conversation with you. He's sort of like, oh, and where'd you grow up? And you talk about sort of Massachusetts. And he's like, oh, yeah, man, I was over there. The other thing. You ever go to this place? And you're like, oh, yeah, I did go to that place. And he's just this cool guy. And you're like, man, all that music is just, that's so true. But what if you found out later that that guy was a sexual predator? What if you met Jared Letto and he was nice to you like that? It would not change my opinion of the music whatsoever. But you'd be like, Jack Johnson's a pretty cool guy. If he was nice to me, I had a good interaction

with him. I think he'd be nice to you. I would, yeah, I don't think you'd be nice to me. Yeah, he probably wouldn't be nice to him. I'm so curious. I would just ask you, too. I think you guys do have different opinions on most guys. How do you both feel about Bill Murray? I like him. I don't really know. I don't really care.

Give or take. He's good in movies. These two. He's good in movies. I like him in movies. I like him in movies. These two. Yeah. I like him in movies. He's overblown. What do you think about him? Like, oh, I'm eating your fries. I feel like you would like that.

What do you mean I'm eating your fries? See, he doesn't, your market is about to get blown. Oh, man. You don't know about this, too? You don't know the Bill Murray Frye story? No, what is it? Bill Murray walked up to somebody, took a fry off their place, and ate it and said, go ahead and tell people they won't believe you.

That's cool. Yeah, that's what I thought. See, that's a fun story, but it probably never happened. It's a funny thing to do. I think that I asked someone for the food on their plate once, and they gave it to me. Do you remember that? I remember that I told you to? Yeah, I said, I think it was fries.

I said, I said, I dare you to go over there and ask for some of their fries. And you went over, he said, Hey, man, can I have some of your fries? I've been looking at them all night. See, but you can get away with that because you're like a nice guy. I forgot about that. That was so funny. You're like a nice guy.

You can do that. People are like, oh, look at this big goofball. People like them. That's like it doesn't have anything to do with a Jack Johnson sucking or not, which is why the congregation. It's changing. You have an hard time following it.

Is that the problem? Well, we just keep getting into these different things. And I have just talking. I have a deficit disorder, okay? And we are supposed to stay on topic of the one topic, which is Jack Johnson sucks. Or he's cool. Or he's cool. I'm going to keep it a buck, man.

And it's Jack Johnson's music. Does his music suck? That's not the original question. Because I'll concede it's not. But they can give implication. I don't think it was. If the question was, does the Rolling Stones suck or are they cool? But no, I think it's different because I think when you say,

does the person suck? It includes all their image where the music is just the music, which Joe has trouble separating. I like the music, but I think both questions are valid, but the original question was specifically does Jack Johnson suck? And so far, him as a guy, I'm leaning towards cool. He seems cool enough.

His music is dog ass. It is, here's, here's, I'll say, it's impressive to be a artist that big and you look it up and the only bad thing you can find about him is that he was a boxer who had a white slave. Yeah, and that he created rain. A hundred years ago. Yeah. That's when that's the only like scar on your record, that's really not the big of deal because it's not him.

Violating the man act. Yeah. Yeah. It's different. It's really not a big problem. He got a parted for it. He's putting up big numbers and you couldn't tell. He's chill. He's the most popular. What are you fucking talking about? Jack Johnson. He's one of the most popular artists of all time. What? Why did you say that? What did that mean? Yeah. Putting up big numbers and you can't tell. You can tell. What does that mean? I'm saying like he's putting up the. these big Spotify numbers on his songs. He has hundreds of millions of listens. And you think that we wouldn't have guessed that? No, no. I'm saying he's so chill about it. He doesn't even care.

Oh, you wouldn't tell in personal conversation with him like you've had. Yeah. Yeah. His vibe isn't that of... His vibe isn't, I have millions of listeners. Hundreds of them. But you can't say that. You can't say that because you don't know him.

I know, but I have a feeling... You don't know him, you've never met him. Your heart is going to break. Do you think you guys would get along? Here's the thing. I don't even listen. I don't even like... I don't even like.

I don't even like Jack Johnson all that much. See, this is always the bottom of the end. I have two songs saved before. I really like the two songs and I love the vibe. Okay? So I now listen to more songs after today. I have five new songs that I've saved. But they're just fun and they're great.

I want you to write a review of one of my top nine that we said. I would love for Patrick to listen to a full Jack Johnson album and really let it in. And Joe, I would also like for you. to listen to something of Patrick's choice. Yeah, what are you going to make him listen to? I'm going to make him listen to. Give him some Scott Walker or something. Yeah, you know, maybe.

I was thinking like it has to be something challenging for him. See, I really love a lot of music. I know. I have a very diverse. Which on the top nine, which on the top nine, I feel like a bow house in the flat field would be. Because I feel like he could at least like be like,

I can understand. I think you can pick anything as long as you like it. I was going to say, let's get him to listen to, uh, tilt by Scott Walker. which is like the album when he became weird. Yes.

And he stopped being like a musical artist that you don't like, Joe. That you're like, oh, I hate that. And let's see if we align. Hmm. Which also, Oh, Hard mode, no rap. Yeah.

I love rap. I love rap. Okay, so not hate, but there's some modern music that I'm not crazy about. I don't love. No, we want hate. Well, I don't really hate anything. No, no, no.

Let's see. Don't love teetering on hate. I don't love the Charlie XEX sound. I was not a fan of that album. I don't really like... Think hate. Think deep down something you hate. He does hate.

You hate. This is the fakesest I've ever seen him be on camera. You're being faked. It's because you're on camera right now. Say something you hate. You have no problem saying things that I hate to piss me off. Or saying things that you hate that I like to piss me off and we're not on camera. I say what?

you know you do it too what do I do I say things that you hate no you say you say you hate things that I that I like like what the most recent one was when you you were walking around saying you hated the end of Oak Street oh I did not like that movie I did hate that movie

yeah see so it's so easy for you to say you hate that you do hate you're pretending right now that you go ahead when it's like when it's a musical artist it's like I just don't really listen to the ones that I don't like you live and let live but you know but you know enough to avoid them so clearly you must hate them so you hate Charlie Xxie I hate like, you know, like Ed Shearin, like poppy shit.

I'm not like that. Okay. That is crazy. That is so close to Jack Johnson. I know. No, no, no, no. That is. I don't.

Both do the, it's the same wheelhouse for sure. They are not the same wheelhouse. They are. Ed Shearin is like, from an island. Ed Shearin is sort of like, sort of more like,

and it's a little bit more like poppy and there's more drummy things and it's a little bit more like earwormy and trying to be. He has no, he has no low, there's like barely any bass in any Ed Shearin song so you can do them better at Kmart.

Yeah, the man's fucking cool. The man's inked up. I mean, the man looks amazing. Yeah. And he said Joe, he and Joe's on his side about all the kicking Macklemore off the tour. Yeah.

That must have been a tough one. That's why I don't like him. Oh my God. And it's not about Palestine for you. You're like, you're like, he kicked Macklemore off? It's the best rapper ever. Yeah.

No. stand with McElmore still. No matter what. Yeah. I'm staying. You don't know that much about the issues, but you know that you're on Macklemore's side. I know, I know, I know enough about the issues. Okay. I'm strongly in support of Maclemore. Okay. That's great. And Palestine, but. I mean, like, not

but like both of, you know, Maclemore and Palestine. Both. Yes. Yeah. You love them both equally. Or you support them both equally. Um. He's really. having to think on this one. Like, what does that even mean? You support McElmore in the same way that you support the people of Palestine. Yes. Okay. Staunchly. Stonchly in support of McElmore. Do you like rock and roll? Loves me some rock and roll. It sounds convincing. It loves me some rock and roll. Yeah. I love rock and roll. I love punk rock. Punk, some punk I like. Like.

Has there ever been something that you walked into the office that I was playing that you were like, shut this off, this sucks? You yesterday, you were playing something that I didn't like. What? I forget. It just sounded like noise. I don't like things that sound too much like noise. Oh, oh, I think I know what, was it yesterday? Or two days ago.

Yeah, no, it was when we recorded on Friday. I was listening to the birthday party. I don't know. That's Nick Cave's band before Bad Seeds. Okay. I know red right hand. My favorite kind of music is I do. I like, like, instrumental, kind of synthy, fun.

You like, I mean, my diagnosis, I think, is you like music that you can listen to, like, and it will, like, make you feel like you're in a movie or in a world or living out some... You want to be put into a mood or a place. My favorite album is Plantasia. That would be on my top thing. Yeah, you like music to listen to while you do something and you're, and you're vibing and you're transported. Yeah, unless I'm in the car and then I like music, I can sit down and just listen. No, I never

like press play on an album and like critically listen to it. I think that's the difference here. Because he's out here playing skate every day listening to full albums. Yeah. But I think that's the same thing. Yeah, that's the same thing.

That's background. But sometimes I'm just sitting at home just listening to crap and sitting there. I'm doing another thing. I mean, I don't like phone. I think he likes music more than you do. I think Patrick definitely likes music more than I do. Yeah.

Music, I love music, but it's more of a thing of like, I happen to be listening to the songs. Yes. Patrick loves the songs. I took so many, we can tell. I took so many music electives in college and I didn't realize that it was not a good idea. We both had the same listening to music teacher. We loved her. She was so, oh yeah, she did that. You guys took a fucking class called listening to music. No, he did, he did. I took like two or three like history of music classes. Listening to music, that is a brutal one to explain the transcript to the parents. Well, here's listening to music.

Yeah, $60,000 a year, listening to music. It's music history. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, it's a good class. It's a really good class. Okay. I also wanted to be in it, but then I was like, I barely had like, oh, I guess it was VMA and I was, I don't know.

Could I even get a music minor there? I don't know. I don't know anything about minors. Yeah, I didn't do it. I dropped out because I was like, oh, shit. None of this matters. Yeah. Yeah.

But do you like when music goes like, But it's in like a guitar song. At the end of that class, she played C when you get there by Culio, which starts out with Canon by Pocobel. Canon. No. No. Don, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.

That's Mr. Sandman. That's a different one. Canon is. No, no, no. No, no. No. No. And then it goes into Culeo.

But, and then there's a record scratch and it goes into Culeo. And it's one of the best moments I've ever had. You like, scratch, scratches. I like, I like record scratches. Yeah, who doesn't like a record scratch. And I'm going to listen to music on the way home. What are you going to listen to? I'll probably keep going on the jack.

No, you've got to listen to tilt. Or I'll listen to tilt. You have to sit down and listen to tilt and write about it. And you have to come back on the premium and you have to write an essay. Just send in a video of you reading it. We each have to write an essay about. I don't. I don't like being...

No, me and Joe. I don't like being a critic. Yeah. I don't like criticism on things. Like, I don't... But then how do things get better if you don't criticize them? Well, who am I to judge a song? You or you?

A listener. And you can judge anything you want because you're you and you have your own opinion. I judge with my... You should be voicing your opinions more instead of just letting shit be shit. I judge with my... Everyone should be not letting in shitification happen. Thank you. I judge with my taps on my phone screen.

What does that mean? Oh, by playing. Can we start an AZ quotes for Joe with that being the inaugural one? What did I judge with the taps on my phone screen? If we made the AZ quotes for this show? No, we've been wanting to make one for you for a long time. Yeah, I wish. We did that whole episode.

All right. Closing remarks. I'm going to give you both 30 seconds on these. Give me a second and really think, I want to be riveted here. I'm going to be honest. I've been about 20 minutes where I'm not feeling this sort of fervor that I felt at the beginning of this conversation or debate rather. So let's go ahead and get, all right, 30 seconds. Pat, or you went first on intro.

So Joe, you're going to go first here. Three, two, one. Joe, Joe, it's you. It's your turn. Oh, he's sort of looking. He's just kind of. I'm not shaking your hand. Have the connection.

I'm not. No, no, no, no. See your, say the thing then. Say it like a thing like do like a speech before. Don't just do that. It doesn't even give it any power. You got about 10 seconds left. You're blowing it.

You're blowing it. I mean, Pat, you got to open your heart here a little bit and just kind of look at him. If he had given, if he had given like a speech like I'm ready to put this. I'm ready to put this behind us. And like it was like you could, you could feel a musical swell. Show them up. I want to see. Okay.

Making banana pancakes. Ready? Three, two, one, go. Even though this episode only happened because we had. pretty much nothing to do for the episode and it was the last thing we talked about. I forgive Joe for tricking me and I could I still remain steadfast in my position that Jack Johnson sucks because I am allowed to have that opinion. And if we don't voice our opinions, then what happens? We just become NPCs. I'm going to let you keep going.

We just become NPCs with no thoughts in our head. Yeah. We become literally nothing more than cattle. If you are not voicing your opinions and expressing yourself,

you are a piece of shit and you suck. I want to hear people's opinions even if I don't like them because that is the first rule of freedom speech. Yeah. Our rights are being stripped away

every single day. Elon Omar. Elon Omar, horrible what happened to her. I think that, you know, we need debate like this also, by the way. Free speech. Free speech will live forever. And speaking of free speech, this new White House press secretary, you need to take a dyslexia test or something.

What is going on with the way that you speak, lady? I don't know what he's talking. Yeah, you're getting off track. I'm not really sure. So we're going to end it there. And Jack Johnson, your music still sucks, but you're probably a nice guy. And I would just like to say my favorite song is under construction from the Sims, the original, The Sims. That is my favorite songs by far the most listen to song I've ever had.

That's a good one. It's so good. What a beautiful piano track. That is a good one. I love the Sims soundtrack. I'll just say I was looking at Patrick that whole time. Yeah. I was just trying to find a connection there.

He didn't look at me once. Did you feel any humanity? I feel the humanity. I did have a connecting thing. I said that we should have debates like this. I don't mean to spark this back up, but I will say one thing, which is that I know for a fact that Pat is not huge on the beach.

Yeah. It's true. Not a big beach guy. I say that and then every time I've said, well, we've said this before. I love the beach. I say that.

I love the beach. I posture as a guy who hates the beach, but then I get to the beach and I'm like, give me in that damn water. Yeah. The water's fun. I mean that damn water. And just floating over the beach.

waves. But it's never my first choice to go to the beach. But if I'm at the beach, I'm not listening to Jack Johnson. I like playing some riggy. I like boogie boarding. One of my favorite things. Body surfing. Yeah, those are my favorite. When I'm at the beach, my hair looks great. Yeah, the salt. The salt, definitely makes hair look better. And imagine you're

taking, you're taking baths in the water. What? Like you're you're, you're, you're, rinsing yourself off in the water after a hot day. You're eating sort of fish. At the beach taking a bath? What does it? Here, the thing, here's what I want to hear. Here's what I want to hear when I'm at the beach.

A blackened fish. You keep... That sounds good. That sounds pretty good for dinner. That's super pollo. I'm like, I'm like fries. I want to hear this at the beach. I would love to hear that on the beach.

I don't want to hear fucking Jack Johnson. I know. Fuck me. Yeah. This is not in the conversation to be having summers fucking over. Can't even go to the beach after this. I know. Because we could have proved,

we could have proved this right that that's better to play at the beach than Jack Johnson. Yeah. Man, I want to go to the beach. I know. We really should just be the beach right now. The thing is, I'm excited for it to get cold. I love the cold. Yeah.

Well, we'll have a winter version of this when you say you don't like Christmas music or something. I don't like Christmas music. I love Christmas music. All right, round two coming up. We're planning that for a couple months. Guys, thank you for listening to this. We will put up, but there's a quiz, there's a quiz feature you can do on YouTube. And I will.

Really? Yeah, we'll do it. Just does. Okay, let's get an agreement here. The question on, it's going to be a yes, no question. Is the question, does Jack Johnson suck? Or is Jack Johnson? cool. I think it should be suck because

it should be both. Jack Johnson sucks or Jack Johnson is cool. I think you can do two quizzes at once. You just say Jack Johnson sucks or cool. Yeah, that's a quiz. And don't answer it until right now. Yeah, don't answer it until the end. There's a lot of really important context. And I think we should maybe go

through what me should. It seems like we can maybe all say it sounds like you guys were reaching a thing of you think Jack Johnson is pretty cool. I think his music is fucking. I don't think he's cool as a guy. Here's what I'll say. Here's what I say. Here's what I say. I think he's chill.

I think he's probably chill. I don't think he's cool. Yeah, he's kind of cool. Do you think he sucks? What would you pick? That's the original point of the conversation. I think I would definitely lean towards sucks.

I have to say, I don't, I don't think, I don't think that the things that, that drive your opinion affect me in the same way at all. 90 minutes, 90 minutes of us straying so far from the original thing.

We made him cry. We didn't make him crying. He cried on purpose. He cried on the comments say that we're, he cried on purpose to say that we're being in. People don't know. He's manipulated on how many, How manipulative.

Everyone's going to be like, oh, Patrick is such a contrarian, annoying bitch. Joe is our big, handsome boy. Everyone's going to say that. Don't say that. They're going to all say that. The darkness. Don't call the boy. Don't call me a boy.

Don't call me a boy. I don't know where the sand for my shoes came from. I'll be completely honest. I thought it was a really nice touch, but it wasn't. Chunks on Friday. Friday. Friday, chunk screening. Pizza Friday.

We won't have pizza. We'll sign your pizza if you bring a slice of a slice of pizza. We will sign it with a paint pen. And then we'll watch it eat it. October 30th, Colomas, me and Thomas White performing at Life World, November 15th.

The movie that I'm in is premiering in Atlanta. It's called Baby Angel Guys, directed by the one and only Mr. Pat Rooks. Shout out. And Joe and I, I just realized, we'll be, Joe and I are taking a trip together for something.

And I just realized he's the only one who knows how to drive out of the two of us. and he will have control of the radio. No, no, no. Usually, you got to take control. I will have to, okay, because... He gets to suggest and he has overrule authority, but you're in charge of the playlist.

Okay. And I don't mind that. You don't get a lot of front seat action when we've all driven. I feel like you're never in the front seat. No, I'm never in the front because of his long legs. There's some long legers in the group. And everyone just go listen to that blue second album

of Jack Johnson's and just clean your house. And the blue first album of Weezer, which is a whole lot better. I can say that that's way better. Blue album by Weezer is better than every Jack Johnson album. All right, let's go. Yeah, let's end it. Bye.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, too, Thanksgivinging the Factory. I thought that you meant, when you said this, I thought that you meant like taking the actual movie. Yeah, I think that's what I made. He brings the children to the Thanksgiving factory. And then, like, yeah, it's the Thanksgiving factory, and you see the swamp of chocolate or the chocolate river. And yeah, just going through the movie and just like,

He's like, and that there is the gravy river. That to me is extremely achievable. Augustus group with gravy. Oh, he's followed in the gravy. Everlasting. Yam, stop her. Mike TV can say the same. He still likes TV.

TV is a big part of it. Yeah, it's a huge part of things. I got a golden turkey. When she's a cranberry. When she's chewing the gum that tastes like a full dinner, it can be. like, she'd be like, and this is a dinner that tastes like a full dinner. I love this dinner.

Thanksgiving. In the tunnel, in the tunnel. Thanksgiving, River. All the videos on the wall in the tunnel scene or is just like turkey's getting carved. It's like, yeah, pictures of cranky cranberry cans getting up in the jellies. The scene with a veruca that wants the golden egg. Yeah. The whole dialogue of that scene is really long.

just says turkeys. This is a turkey egg. Cut two next scene. Faruca's gone. It's a five-minute movie and every season is turkey. This is turkey. Gravy. This is the Thanksgiving factory.

Gravy, turkey. Mass potatoes. Granberry.