Podcast About List - Ep. 87 - Pepsi 2

Episode Date: February 12, 2020

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You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Podcasts to the ball list. You're really crap monster. Do the Buster's home? I started recording it. Say it again. Say it again. I didn't catch the first half of what you said.

Say it again. Oh, wait, we're doing the... I'm doing the new theme song. And then I'll do it. All righto set the English version is like, when you know that you're alone and there is nowhere left to hide. Then you have to call your friends and you guys will always ride. And three of your friends, it doesn't rhyme in Japanese, it only rhymes in English. English. And you have two friends and yourself and you look at lists, podcast about lists,

friendship will prevail. So when translates to prevail? Yeah, I'm Japanese. So it's easy for me to translate stuff like that. Okay. To be Japanese, I tweeted this, but I have to just get it out another way too. But there's the art gallery I work at today. There's like a bald, older white dude with like a very young Asian woman as his like date it was clearly like a first date and he just was like dragging her around to all the stuff in the art gallery and then went up to a photo of a of a horseshoe crab and just point out and he was like do you like cooking these and she was like I don't know I don't know what she'd and he was like cooking like a restaurant restaurant

and then he like started like pretending to eat something with his hand and he was like restaurant and then they just gave up and they left damn

yeah man what what museum do you work at the museum of Patrick's mom who and I keep trying to get you to reveal it on the show I don't care I work at the MIT art gallery doesn't mean anything to me

Dom was asking today oh yeah that's the answer she's like oh what museum to see what work at. Yeah, well, let's go beat him up. Somebody come visit me while I'm there. I will not.

There's a guy who walks around the art gallery, and he comes a lot, apparently, and he just, he'll spend like two hours there. It's a very small gallery. Does he wear a brown suit? No. There's this guy when I worked at, when I worked at, no, no, no, no, no.

There's a reason I asked. A guy. There was a guy, when I worked at the Clover in MIT, there was a guy who wore a brown suit. suit and Gucci shoe like Gucci sneakers and he had like a really bad comb over and I thought it must have been him no no but he was a guy he would come in he would stand there in line and just go like like coughing up shit Neil hamburger in yeah basically basically he was like Neil hamburger but he was very clearly just like an MIT professor and he would he kept all of his coins and

his money like everything he ever owned in a plastic bag in like his breast pocket breast he had boobs Yeah Oh my God That's why I was asking Did you see his big brown tithes? Yeah they're good It must have been that guy

This guy I don't know who else he just walks He walks around with a note With a like a notepad And he looks at every piece of text In the gallery Like all the little plaques That say the name

And like the artist and stuff And he just looks for typos And see that's why I thought this guy would be that guy And then he comes back What do you mean that's why He didn't say that yet Yeah I know

But that, I mean, just shit. Yeah. Weird shit. Yeah. But he just apparently comes like once every couple weeks and tries to, tries to find all the typos in the museum. And then when he does, he traps whatever the nearest woman working is. And he's like, just so, you know, there's a typo where you meant to say Chicago, but it says Chicago. Anyway, what was your name?

My name's Paul. And they'll just talk for a while. And then so. His name was Paul. Huh? The guy's name was Paul. this guy's not actually named Paul i was just guessing oh okay his room his own name is Patrick no yeah yeah my brother's name is Paul

that's why I was saying from now on whenever someone in the suit is my brother I don't like you lounging like this dude you look like fucking Julius Caesar he's in the trash dude you left the trash open the cats are performing a heist on the trash from now on whenever someone starts to tell me a story I'd be like oh shit did he wore a brown suit who's a guy wait wait wait wait wait wait oh my god was it a story about Was it Paul? With a brown suit?

Who came into my work and coughed. And wait. He had a plastic bag. And he had a brown suit on. And he had big fat tits. So was it that guy? I'm trying to tell you the story of how I survived 9-11. So, okay.

But he was in 9-11. Yes, he was. That's why I asked. He was in both. Oh, my God. The cats are going absolutely. This is the craziest they've acted. Oh, my God.

They're going... Honestly, stay right there. That's so cool. They're going so crazy right now. Did you give them cat nip? No, I don't know what they've been doing. I think they got scared because I let you guys into the house before me. And now they have, like, a bunch of adrenaline.

There was a guy on Doomsday Preppers who said, who said, I just got a pulse of adrenaline pushing through me. I need to get into that show, dig in. It's so fucking funny, dude. I was watching it last night. Yeah, it's just me running to fucking make sure my cats don't do stupid shit. Just put them in the cat room. I don't want, no, they'll sit there and like ruin the carpet.

All right. That's a fair point. Hey, ha, ha, ha, ha, bah, bye, bah, bah, bah. Um, because, Oh, my God. Patrick. It's fucking Christ, dude. Patrick threw a crumpled up McDonald's bag and the cat jumped and knocked over a pile of books

into their water fountain. Yeah, Patrick has a giant Roman water fountain in the middle of his house. I live in luxury. Yeah, you do. I'm unemployed Patrick with a giant marble fountain.

I made enough to get the fountain and then that's all I needed. Yeah, so I quit. So I quit my job. Damn, I would get a, I would get a baller-ass fountain and give all those little cherub kids big fat dicks on it. Yeah?

Yeah, because it'd be like, they're not babies now. They're just... Well, they are a thousand years old. They're little... They're little. people. That would be the big change. I would change the proportions.

I'd give all the kids' beards. So once you see their huge penises, it's not weird. Exactly. It's not a kid with a huge penis. It's clearly, man. It's like in some culture, in some culture, it's like good luck to have, like, those little cherubs, like, peeing. It's good luck to suck a small penis of a child.

To have them, like, peeing, right? I have no idea. Because there's one, there's one restaurant that I would go to in Harvard Square that had this, like, a shit ton of, like, a little cherub fountain statue. Like everywhere in the store, just like every service. And they're all holding their dick being. Was this place very lucky? No.

It was the waffle place. That waffle place. Mm. Yeah. The waffle place had a bunch of babies weeners. Yeah. Pretty crazy. Damn.

Probably some kind of signal. Yeah. To the other. To the other waffle fans. It's a pedophile cabal thing. Yeah, pedophile waffle. Waffle. Yeah.

Patrick and I had a fun experience on the train today We got on the train and a guy was blasting music out of a speaker He was playing like an IDM remix of Gucci Gang Yeah, it was awesome When you say speaker was it like a giant It was like a boom box? Oh, okay Gotcha

But it was extremely loud And when we got on This old Asian guy was sitting next to him On his phone And then we sat down and like the train started moving And the guy like leaned over to the old Asian guy I went, who the fuck are you texting? Who the fuck are you texting?

And then the guy just got up and walked like to another car. It's funny. And then the guy got up and started running up and down the train car and swinging on the poles. And then he was like dancing around. He went, I am having a shit ton of fun right now. And then he got off the train. It's funny that people like train people have figured out that they can just do stuff

like that with impunity because, and nobody wants to deal with it. Yeah, nobody will ever say anything to you. People just want to just get home so bad. They will take so much abuse on public transportation before they snap. Yeah, before they even do anything. Yeah, they'll just ignore it. Yeah. And we'll look at it.

Yeah. I would say when shit and piss gets involved. Yeah. Once the, once you see, like, that's a line. Once the guy starts jacking off, like. But see, jacking off, I think I still, I think I probably just move. I would kick the peanuts out of his hand. Yeah.

Yeah, kick it onto the floor. Clean off. And it turns into a snake and it slides away. It slides. Yeah. Snakes slide. That's it. Snakes always have to be going downhill or else they can't move.

That's so true. Because they're so slippery. This episode is just us corraling these cats. I'm trying to block the cat from jumping onto the recorder and stopping the episode. Just put them in a fucking oven. Just, yeah, just do something to them. He would like that, honestly. Well, Yota's fine right now.

He would like to be boiled to death. He'd be a good guy. He'd give them a bath tonight. Sucks. You have to give them a bath? Yeah. You have to or you want to. Do they get disgusting.

and stinky because they're living. Yeah, look at them right now. They're fucking gross. They don't look. I mean, they don't look any more disgusting than they always look. They always fucking look like aliens. Yeah, but sometimes they look clean. No, they don't. Yeah, you're sneaking around the other way trying to jump on the recorder. You're not allowed to be my friend. I will never love you. Why not? Because he fucked up all the episodes and apparently he's dirty. Yeah, I can't be friends with something that's dirty. Yeah, you suck, man. He does not suck. He does, dude. No. I'm going to get him a present for Christmas and then I'm going to hand it over to him, and then I'm going to take it away

at the last second. Why? Because I just told you I hate them. You couldn't do that to Yoda. Look at him. I could. I could do it. I could do it to both of them at once. No. I could do anything. I could, I'll take, I'll give the present to one of them, take it away and give it to the other. Oh my God. They're, they're, they're, back off, cat. Halt.

Halt. And now you lick your penis. That's his leg. Damn. Oh, he went for it. Oh, there he goes. Oh, he's trying. He does not flexible enough. Yeah, go over there. There's There's tons of, there's dogs over there. They went to play with the dogs. I'm going to bring my dog over here and have them eat your cats. I'm going to have him eat him in one bite and then pull their skeletons out of his mouth.

Don't do that. I'm going to bring my tarantula over and it will scare your cats out of their skin. Yeah. I'm going to bring Duke Nuke him over here and I'm going to sick them on your cats. Don't. He's going to go Duke Nuke him forever on your cats. He's going to throw a poop at my cats. Yeah, he seriously will.

Remember that? And he'll say, I got cat scratch fever. and then I'll shoot him. I'm throwing shit at a cat. I'm going to kill these two little cats. Don't kill them. And then I'm going to watch TV. I love Duke Nukem.

Yeah. I'm going to vote for Gary Johnson. Yeah. Duke Nukem's a big libertarian I'm learning. He is? Yeah, dude. He's a real guy and he voted for Gary Johnson. What are they doing?

I don't know. You see you're thumping from the other room. I think it's the litter box. They're playing in the litter box. Abortion is a human rights. That's nice. Wow, Duke? Yeah.

Great. Yeah. Duke poop him. Women make 77 cents for every dollar a man makes. Black women make 63 cents for every dollar a man makes. You're telling me that this country is just... I like Duke Nukem now. Yeah.

He's super... Yeah. Aliens are real. I put an alien in a bikini. And I did he fucked in. Yeah. And then he's like, uh, if you order a flying Dutchman at in and out, they give you a burger without the bun. Thanks, Duke, Newcomb.

There's a suit when you at Chipotle, you have to unlock. It's okay to be gay. Not. Duke, you're confusing us with that with you. Taco Bell has new vegetarian. option. Taco Bell has a black bean gordita now. He's just doing ads in between every one-liner. Secret sauce is just mayonnaise and ketchup mixed together.

Fuck you. You can ask the McDonald's employee to give you your fillet a fish fresh. You can? Yeah. If you say, yeah. If you say, can I have it fresh off the boat? Yeah, and they'll give it to you. Well, no, because they leave them under the heat lamp all day.

Uh-huh. The stars are out tonight for the Academy Awards. Jennifer Lopez looks dazzling on the red carpet. Adam Sandler was robbed of a nomination for Best Actor. The cast of Parasite is here. The cast of Parasite is Chinese. Duke, no. What?

Am I wrong? Yes, they're Korean. What does that mean? Is that a kind of Chinese? Well, yeah, I guess. But yeah. When it comes to condoms, put too on. Never fall asleep with your shoes on.

Always watch your drink. Man, I love college. And I love drinking. A. A millie, a million A million A million A million

Here, a million there He's doing the Asher-Roth version Because he can't say Day and night The lonely story Seems to free his mind at night He's all alone

Some things will never change I need a Wind Dixie grocery bag Full of money right now To the VIP section Oh, Duke Nukam You're surprising us in so many ways tonight, dude Baby girl, what's your name? Let me talk to you, let me buy you a drink

R. Kelly is innocent. Just boys being boys. Duke, stop. Duke, that's enough. Harvey Weinstein had a giant penis. You're telling me Bill Cosby. America's dad. Raped over 50 women over the course of 40 years.

Oscar Pestorius did nothing wrong. Dylan and Eric will Yeah, I've never bred Dylan and Eric will be at the E3 Awards this year. Dylan and Eric are Booth Babes for Ubisoft. Bill and Eric Klebolder

Booth Babes Booth Babes for neweg dot com you can buy a trench coat to put on your computer there's a demon wearing my stepdad's skin and I'm going to strangle him at dinner there are reptilians who live there are reptilians who live

my mom is a reptilian I saw her pussy And it was covered in scales I saw my mom's pussy Awesome That's my grade Aziz Ansari Aziz Ansari

Your book about modern romance touched me in a way that I can't describe Ossiz Ansari is Chinese Duke no What Was he not in parasite He had as a sort of Chinese name.

I thought we were talking about Star Wars. You're kind of going into like a Walter Cronkite thing. Yeah? Yeah, you sound good. JFK has just been assassinated. No, he hasn't. That was a long time ago. Did Walter Cronkite say that?

No, Walter Cronkite said... Jackie Kennedy. Jackie Kennedy, now that your husband is gone, my number is. Jackie Kennedy, damn, you have some big... ass flappy titties. You got some big ass 60s titties. When you bent over to grab the back of your husband's skull

off the belt of the trunk of that car, by God, we saw everything. Get out of here, Cat. He's going to his station. Okay, let's do this list. All right. Top 10 reasons porn should be banned. It's just too fun to do Duke Nukum. I could do that for a year. So this is by... My year as Duke Nukum.

This is by Inferno Top Tenors. Here, read this Read the description for this list in Duke Newcomb voice. Porn is a video. Shut up, Patrick. Shut up. Porn is a video and movie of recorded sex. Many people will get addicted soon,

but here is why porn is bad for you. I have addiction about porn. But I want to quit because how I feel is that they hurt women, and they don't respect them kindly. This user is Inferno Top Tenors. Damn. Um, nice anime, avie.

Yeah. RIP, this account. Damn, the account was dead. Duh, account gone. The account got dead. They made lists to cure their, uh, crippling porn addiction. Yeah. Yeah.

And that, then they lapsed. It's not an addiction to porn. It's an addiction about porn. Yeah. So it's just reading about porn and thinking about it. I'm addicted about porn, too. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, number one is it's a disgrace to women. It's really women's fault. Yeah. The whole thing, you know, they're the ones who are signing the contracts and saying yes to all this bullshit you know so i i blame they they write it they wrote all of the the contracts in wingedings so so women couldn't read it girls and women don't read things anyway so they just looked they saw that they they're like okay yeah i'll sign this yeah at the beginning beginning they wrote um and this is how a sports car works and then the women stopped reading it and the carburetor goes and

they oh geez yeah yeah when you're using a charcoal grill and then that's how they started the contract and just women just didn't read the rest. Yeah. Yeah. We should write porn. Yeah. Oh, that would be a good thing to put on it. Just a porn screenplay.

Okay. Let's do that. Let's call it. Let's call it the fucking of Patrick. Yeah. The fucking and sucking of Patrick. The fuckingest guy of all time. No.

It's like super... The fucking is Patrick of all time. It's like a black and white picture of Patrick, like looking up at the sky, the poster. How come mom knows he's got to get fucked? It's obvious, dude. It's obvious, you're the baddest bee of all of us. You're scaring him. Stop.

I'm petting him. He's scared of you. He's scared of you. He's scared of you and sitting on me and loving me like a father and friend. Is he scared of you? I'm scared of you. You're not scared of me. I'm scared Cameron's going to blow up.

Do something rash. I'll blow up. Cameron's going to blow up. Yeah, he's going to blow it. He's going to blow up self-destrust on his penis. you, like a blow-up fuck doll in the porno that we're making. And then he's going to fuck you in your blow-up doll ass. Do people like having sex with blow-up dolls?

Is it just like fucking a balloon? Yeah, or like an inflatable raft. Or like a... Like, I feel like it would be like less soft than a balloon even. Yeah, it's like fucking a life jacket. No, because you know, like, the ends of like, like, if you get like a floaty or something and then they have like the sealed part, it's all like spiky. You touch that with your butt?

Wouldn't that be inside of the vagina part of the inflatable doll? No, they just put it somewhere else. They just put water in there. Engineering. Yeah, but what if they forget? Samsung. I'm sure, I'm sure in the expensive inflatable dolls, but I mean, the $20 one, $20 ones are finding it's fensers. Yeah, I feel like you're better off like fucking like a hole in a like a piece of furniture than like.

Because you don't, let's be real, the women that they paint on those dolls don't even look like that. They don't look very good, you know? They don't look beautiful. Yeah. So you might as well Fuck the couch Fuck the couch Which is

Infinitely more beautiful I would rather fuck a couch Than a blow-up doll Yeah Now one of those One of those really expensive What about a blow-up couch? A blow-up couch

Like an inflatable couch that you put in the pool That's tough Yeah I wouldn't have sex with that You wouldn't have sex with that? No, because also there's no hole And if you do put a hole in it Then all of a sudden Now you got a leak

What if it's an inflatable couch That has a pussy? Yeah Like a, it has a human pussy. You just float in the pool and lie on it face down. There's just a hole in a little bit. It teaches you how to swim in, fuck. Caleb, you've been in the pool for like three hours, just face down on that, it floaty.

Yeah, with your swim trunks pulled halfway down. What about it, mom? So, I'm panning you. Maybe some totinos. Put the, put the pizza rolls in the pool. Put them on the edge of the pool. Put them on the edge of the pool and turn around. Yeah. I'll get them.

but it is it is a girl's fault and it is a disgrace to a comment there are comments on here there are 20 comments on it you can click on the comments um

men don't force women to do porn that's all up to the women port can also be a disgrace to men yeah I don't think so port wine cheese dude if you're a man and you're in porn

that means you have usually have a big penis or a really small penis yeah you can be like the minion do you know about the minion no the minion was this like

series of videos that came out like 2000, whatever. I think Dane Cook had a bit about it. About the minion? Yeah, the minion was a very fat guy with a small penis who would throw food in girls' faces. Whoa. It was big on EFooked.

That's sick. Yeah. EFucked used to be so good. Yeah, EFucked sucks now. It does suck now. It got way worse. It's all just like... PC culture ruined EFo.

It actually, it went the other way, kind of. Yeah. I looked at it maybe a couple months ago, just because it was like, what's going on with this website. Because that's the only place that has the Chuck Berry sex tape. Exactly, yeah. I actually think that is why. I was on e-fucked.

No, that's why I looked at it, too. Yeah, it's so funny. But all the videos are like, dumb bitch gets fucked in the face and then beating it to shit. Yeah. And then sent back to Europe. And I'm like,

who, that's not funny. It used to be like, guy accidentally farts while he's having sex. Yeah. And dressed as Bart Simpson. I was like, oh, that's funny. It's like, girl bleeds out her ass.

Yeah. Yeah, girl gets her pussy caved in with a wrecking ball. Okay. Reckett Ralph destroys this pussy. Hulk smashed fisting vagina butthole. Hulk hand up the butt. Yeah, full foam Hulk hand in a lady's ass.

Sound on. She's just making Hulk sounds. Yeah. This comment says, Porn, she be banned. It harms women from men, and it keeps kid from porn. Here's a good comment from Doro Explorro 13. It says,

and men you sexist I like this comment There is something called Pornna too, you know What is that? Oh, that's porn for girls Yeah, Pornna. Pornna.

Pornna. Pornna. Porn. Porn. Porn. Porn. Porn. Porn. That's what I just read. You're so stupid. And it keeps kid from porn.

That's what I said. And it's not as grace to men, Pornup.com slash gay. That's from Soldier of Fortune. Let's hire that guy. Yeah. Yes, modern society sees women as big-boomed sluts who wear revealing clothing. I love a slut with big-ass boommies.

Big booms. Damn, she got big... She has big booms. She got big booms. Big booms. Big booms. Boat. Boom.

Booboom. What about... What about boob. Boob coomum? Boob cooomombe. And, yeah. Boob cooomin. Boob cooomin.

I like to have sex. I'm addicted. to online poker. I'm booing sluts. He just does all the same things before. I'm $10,000 in debt to partypoker.net. Amy Schumer is Chinese. Duke, what are you talking?

I've never seen a picture of her. Duke Nukem doesn't know. I just guessed based on her voice. Based on her voice and her name. Amy. I thought it was Amy. Shumai. Duke Nukem is Chinese.

Duke, that's you. I am. I'm Boob Cooman. I'm Boob Coomin. Isn't it boom cooman? No, now it's Boob Coombe Coombe. He likes to Coom on some booms. He likes to coombe on some booms.

I like the coombeamon booms? That's Boob Coomin. Yeah, that's Boob Coomin like the spice. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Cooman. That's how British people say it.

Cuman. Really? That makes sense they would say it that way. Yeah, they call asparagus rocket. They call it a grugula rocket. Arugula. It's because it's too hard for them to say. Aroglah.

Aroglah. Arugla. Oi. Arugla. Oh, fuck my ass. A bunch of people over there are named Arugula. So they'll always tell you. And let me tell you something about people in Britain.

They may not like a Rougola, but they'll be a rude to you. If you ask where the closest American restaurant is. You ask where Big Ben's... Yeah, where's Big Bang? Put me in Big Bang. Put me in the fake taxi. Big Ben is Chinese. Dude, that's not a person.

It's a giant gong. I'm talking about Big Ben, my cousin. He married into the family. He is Chinese. my cousin married into the family yeah he married my aunt as his mom you're so stupid god damn you dude yeah marrying someone being like can i become like your family's cousin no i got instead of being the brother-in-law can i be the cousin sure i don't think there's any laws against that is there can you just legally make somebody like your cousin or your uncle if you can adopt you

somebody can you also just like adopt them as you're a cousin yeah yeah yeah can you let's go down to the uh orphanage and try to see if we could all become cousins just walking up to some kid yeah you're gonna be my uncle we should do it I kind of want to I kind of want to be a you're actually kid kid you're my dad now and you have to go to work you have to feed me otherwise they put you in jail we should do a nephew circle yeah we should go um I don't want to do a nephew circle Yeah, we're going to do a nephew circle. I know exactly what I mean.

The only nephew circle I want to be in is me, my two closest friends, and Snoop Dog. And he'd be calling us... He says, what a do, nephew. What a do, nephew. And I go, huh, that's pretty cool. That's gangster. Snoop Dog, you are such a gangster. Snoop, that is gangsta, Snoop.

That is gangster Snoop. At Gangsta Snoop Dog. Parity account. Mm, ghetto Snoop Dog. Yeah. All right. Number two. Pop-ups might give a virus to your computer.

Well, then, well, that's the closest to a good reason we can get to the, on this list. Okay, so I was looking up a cartoon image. It had like no skin color in it. So I thought it wouldn't be dirty. So I unblurred it. Only, only that. But now I keep seeing, but now I keep seeing porn on all the images I look up. And I don't even look up anything to do with the dirty stuff. and I'm only 10 years old It's in capital Been there What do you think that means It had no skin color in it

So I didn't So I thought it wouldn't be dirty So I unblurred it Probably they went on Rule 34 or something Yeah As a 10 year old And they're trying not to it They put this on here

They wanted their commenting Just so you guys know Mom Look at what I said on the top tens That's why it's in the history Yeah On porn I like I keep seeing porn

on all the images I look up. Everything you look up is porn comes up. Yeah. There's a comment here. Another one from Soldier of Fortune. He keeps popping up and it says, Best Reason. Yes.

Yeah. You name me. Pop-ups are, uh, I feel like pop-ups are kind of a relic of a time that, oh yeah. You know, everybody has ad blocker now. I miss pop-ups. Yeah.

Um, I miss the congratulations. Yeah. I don't miss Popper. Congratulations. You won. They were fun, though. Sometimes you'd get one. The ones with the games.

Oh. Fuck this. This horny fat guy. Slap the monkey? Oh, slap the monkey was good. Wardhog Flip. Wardhog Flip. Yeah.

I've never seen that one. You never played Warthog flip? Wardhog. That was one where there was... Oh, where you tried to flip the Halo Warhog with a grenade. Yes, I do know that one. I was thinking of like the animal. I was like, what could that possibly be?

I played that too. That's a North Carolina classic game. Wardhog flip. Do you have warthogs in North Carolina? I don't think that's... 30 to 50 feral hogs in North Carolina. Yes, dude. Yes!

Woo! No, there's... Yeah! I think there is... There's wild boar, I think. Yeah, probably. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't even... Is a wardhog even a real thing? I think, I don't even know. It's the one with the crazy nose. It's one with the horns. Oh, the one with the big long nose. It's the one. It's a...

It's an alligator. Wait, then I don't know if it's real. If it's Pumba. That's true. Puma's a cartoon. Yeah. If I saw Pumba in real life, I'd shoot him in the face. Wardhugs are the most disgusting, creepy-looking animals.

Um. Why are you looking? Warhug removal. I'm going to show you what they look like. Damn, they do have a big fucked up nose. They're really crazy looking. They look like, they look like the Power Rangers villain. Yeah, they do.

Yeah, they're pretty crazy. They're like donkeys more than pigs. Look at that. Oh my God. The baby ones are pretty cute, though. Fucking skull looks disgusting. Look at that. Oh, yeah.

That's pretty cute. Any baby is good. Yeah. You know, any baby is good. I would not shoot a baby. Said baby Hitler. Oh, so, and that's the only bad one? But Patrick think of someone really bad.

Okay, uh, baby... Baby shit? Baby shit? Baby shit. Looks like Caleb likes baby shit. Whoa. Do you think that's... Hitler made out of poop. Now, that is... That's the scariest guy.

The epicosity of what you just said is blowing my mind right now. The idea that there would be a poop Hitler? Poopoo Hitler? Hmm. I mean, no. Ugh. I would not kiss him. I don't want to kiss a...

I don't want to sit here and make out with a version of... Hitler made out of crap? What are you talking about? I have so much better stuff to do with my time. I don't want to sit there and go to a movie with a kind of Hitler who's just made out a bunch of just poop, but he has like a life and he has a mind and he can kiss me. I don't want to kiss him in the middle of the movie. I want to fuck a hole inside of, like, that I burrowed with my penis inside of a guy

made out of poop who is a hit. He looks like Adolf Hitler and has a little mustache? Do you think poop, do you think poop Hitler poop skin? I don't want to get all the skin. I don't want to be fucking. poop little in the ass and then he put skin on my penis with his butthole and then I and then I use that to wipe him down after I don't want to do that man I don't think he does I don't I think he does I don't want to do that I don't want to do that I don't want to have

two two poop hitlers that I bring that I bring with me when I travel and I stay in the hotel room and then I order him room service and then they they they get back to give me a room I think of me a freaking double double blowjob, hand job? Ugh! I don't want to do that. All right, number three, your brain can get a disorder.

I think that happened to me. I think I watched too much porn when I was a kid and now I can't... I mean, Mario is crazy to me. There's a comment from Caleb on here. No, what is it? Caleb 9,000. Oh, my God, what?

It says... I know. Uh-uh. That is a comment from the future. Yeah. No, you're a comment. Brain only gets disorders from birth, they aren't contagious. So it goes against everything Caleb just said about his Mario disease.

In the future, he learns that you can't, you have to get it from birth. That's Caleb 9,000 years old. Yeah. The idea of me being 9,000 years old is making me so sad that I can't even think. Yeah? Yeah, I would not. I wouldn't be able to do any of my favorite activities and I would never. Yeah, none of your favorite activities like number four, you will learn to hurt women.

No. No, I don't like hurting women You skipped ahead I was about to read a comment Oh, okay I opened the comments I didn't see that If you want to watch

To Many Plus How's that a porn problem You should use a safe search And block it from Enabling Safe Search for six months So Problem Saul would Did you guys ever have Like a filter on your computer

Oh my uncle tried to set up My uncle tried to set up one for my mom But then I went on a website Where I had to enter in like my mom would have to come over and make sure that when I was really young I was like 10 years old and she had to come over and like type in the password every time I went to a new website but then like every time I think I went on aim and every time that I went to send someone a message I was like mom come here you need to you need to type in the password again so I had my mom do that like 10 times within 30 minutes she saw your damn messages she would yeah she would read what I was saying and then I did it so many times in one night that she shut it off oh so she let you just go for Mom, zero. Fuck you, mom. Anytime I hear a story of kids winning,

I sing. I sing a song. I really hope that Howard Zinn writes a kid's history of the United States. That's from the perspective of the kids beating the parents. Because, you know, history's so often written by the parents. We really need to get from the side of the kids. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And he's going to town on his life. The kids guide to survival. The kids. Hide under a table. That's what the new... What about Kids War III? People think the new...

There's two other Kids Wars? Yeah, when did those happen? Yeah, it was... They skipped to three. It was grounding and spanking. For the first two, that was what started those two. And then the third one, yeah, you guess it's snack time. Wait, I thought Snack Time's good.

Well, Kids War III was to make sure that we get snack time. Oh, yeah. The inalienable right of every kid to snack time. Exactly. Yeah, I heard if you don't bring snack, you can get a graham cracker or an apple. I told you about my first grade teacher? Mm-mm. Oh, yeah, I got yelled at once because I didn't know whether or not I had a snack in class.

Damn. She had, like, a whole, she had a shit fit. She, like, stood there in front of, in front of the whole class was standing there screaming at me. Do you have a snack? Yes or no. Do you have a snack? And I was, like, crying because I thought I was going to get in trouble if I said no, but I didn't want to check my backpack

because I was too scared to get up. Yeah. Indecision. Indecision 2020. The Daily Show. They should bring that back. They should, dude. They should bring back the Daily Show.

It's been gone. Yeah. No one, it's not there anymore. It's not. Yeah, number four, you will learn to hurt women. From watching porn? Mm-hmm. Not the porn I watch.

The porn I watch is all about just watch, you know. Caleb 9,000. There's different kinds of points. Caleb 9,000's back on here and says, that's not something you have to watch to figure out. Violence is a natural instinct, though a bad one. Yeah. Damn, that's sick. You just know. Violence against women is a natural instinct. It's natural. Guys, it's a release. Come on. No, I do think it's wrong to beat up on a girl. And I've never punched a woman in the face. And that's the, that's the, that God, honest truth. Never once have I. Have I turned around when I got pushed in a bar fight in Santa Clarita and thought that a big fat lesbian was a guy and punched her in the face, only to later realize that I had maybe broken a woman's nose. It's never happened to me. That's what I'm trying to get at. And I never would do that.

Yeah. Number five, porn can cause relationship problems. Yeah, relationship problem is my hand and my penis got too close to each other and now I'm married. And they're stuck. Now there's an imprint. Yeah. You got a penis imprint on your palm? I was trying to shake somebody's hand.

What's wrong? Does your hand? It feels like a penis. Do you have a penis tattoo? No. I have an embossed penis tattoo on my hand. I got a dermal implant of a penis. Yeah.

Which one is a dermal implant? It's when they put like a tiny star in your skin. So it's like a bun. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah. Those things are... It's like the piercing that sits on the bone or whatever. I don't know what that is.

Okay. I think it's just a bump under your skin that you make designs with. Oh, I don't know. They put a thing, they put basically the back end of a stud in your body. Can you look, can you show me a picture? I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. It's a bump on your skin that looks like a shape. Wait, look up penis dermal.

It's these things. Oh. Oh, that is a penis dermal. But people also get, they'll get like, you know, shapes and stuff. Yeah, gross. It's disgusting, dude. They're awful. Ugh.

Those are gross. That is... Whoa. Oh, that one's pretty cool. That one's tough. Yeah. They put skulls in the fist. Yeah, that's just...

Look at that shirt. Yeah. Who is that? I and the... Is that Rob Zombie? That's Bob Zumber. Mm-hmm. Bob Jombard.

Dob. Don't... Damn. Somebody got the one-up mushroom and the invincibility star on their hands. That's so dumb. You will never die. Yeah.

You always have a one. You will never die, Rock. and roll infinity signs yeah they're really gross I would probably get I would get I would get I would get Pac-Man given the finger

yeah I would get Squidward's name I would get I would Squidward tentacles That's a dermal implant It's like you barely read it It's the lyrics It's like swollen two bumps It's like infected

Oh that's Squidward's name That's the lyrics to you're My favorite character I'm a huge spot Bob Bob fan I love Spog Bob I love Spodge bodge yeah so I got Squidward mammals on my

Squidward animals on my leg Yeah I got I got fat Whoops Pussy Fat pussy I got a fat pussy implanted in one of my legs Oh my God that's what you That's the move for jacking off and jerking off

Get a dermal implant of a woman's vagina Maybe a porn star somebody like you know Remy LaCroye or like Lisa Ann or like Lana Rhodes and you get their pussy installed in your hand and then you sit there and you sit there and you're jacking off Where does it all go? Was it the cum go? Yeah.

The cum goes in your hand and then you dump it into the sink. Is he doing something? The cat? Yeah. No. Where is Yoda? He's not... I don't know.

Do you just... Is all you think about these cats all the time? I'm trying to tell you about my new invention of jacking off. I was asking where my cat is. What about a movie that's like Ricky Jervais's invention of lying but it's the invention of jacking off and he's like oh I thought it's not real

so I can check off I yeah I fuck my hand yeah in it yeah they're like you're God now I closed my eyes and I pretended that my hand was a pussy

and I rubbed it back and forth yeah but that would be a good movie I don't think that would be a good movie Ricky Jervas the invention of getting sucked in fucked What about Ricky Bobby Bobby?

Ricky Bobby Jervais Ricky Bobby Jervais and that's the movie. Oh, yeah, I'm going to drive a car, in it? Yeah. I'm going to drive a car.

If you ain't first of your last, yeah. John C. Riley, come here. I'm going to tell you about atheism. Atheist, Ricky Bobby. Yeah. I'm going to have a nightmare. Actually, you know what? We can actually just start dinner.

We don't have to do Grice. That scene is just completely They just sit in silence. All the time it would be. All the kids still have. Southern accent, so... Yeah. Everybody accepts Ricky Bobby

Virginia Jervais. But we're gonna make that movie. He's not sponsored by Wonderbread. He's sponsored by Tesco. Number six, it can destroy families. That's true. Because if your dad is jacking off to

porn and your mom is jacking off to porn, when are they going to go to work? It can also destroy families because say you're sitting down on the couch, right? But then in walks, you're banging hot step-sister and she says why did you spill all my

you spell this money on the ground and you'd be like mom you'd pick it up she bends over boom fat pussy ass ball sack right in your face man and you're sucking on it and your mom walks in

and she goes you fucking my daughter you're fucking my daughter and your mom has Tim Allen's head with the breasts of Pamela Anderson And then the legs Of Tam Allen

And she walks in and she's like What are you doing with your sister? You say, I'm fucking her in the ass, mom, are you blind? And then she says No, no, no, no, no, no. This is how you do it. And then the neighbor over the fence And Wilson over, yeah.

Do you, uh, Wilson glory hole. Oh, shit. Wilson. Glory hole. My God, Wilson and glory hole. This is bone improvement. Yeah, this is bone improvement. Yeah.

Now, see, now we're not destroying the family. Now we're improving the home. Well, and then at the end, everyone dies. Yeah, and then at the end, everybody dies because an asteroid hit Earth. Yeah. A comment on It Can Destroy Family says, if your dad watch porn, your dad sucks.

That's true. My dad didn't suck. My dad watched porn. I've never caught. I caught my dad after he did because he didn't know how to delete the history So I think I told you this story But my dad

So me and my two brothers fought For like a week Because we were like who the fuck looked up fake taxi And then we realized it was my dad Damn I'm realizing that one time I got like something kind of close to that Oh we taught my dad had a private browse Smart

I got on the computer and there was like a porn pop-up was on the computer and I was like oh I'm going to get in trouble for this so I was like maybe nine or ten and so I found my dad and I was like dad there's there's like something like you know there's like porn on the computer and he's like what and he sat down and he just looked at it and looked to me he's like what is this garbage And then he closed out of it And he was like You know You know you tell me if that ever happens again Because that That was weird That was really weird

And they just went back to To just you know Watching the wire What the hell is this crap? What the crap is on this TV? They're naked? What the heck? She's...

What are they doing to each other? God, Caleb I think I see her thing I think her thing and her what's-er-called We need to throw out the monitor right now. We got to take this computer back to Best Buy because obviously the Geek Squad needs to put a couple of hours in on this machine.

Does this come with the computer? What? Wait. Okay, I told him not to install any crazy born boobs and vaginas on here, but it seems like they did. Right. Leave it to Dell. It's so hard to get through. It's so hard to get a good firewall these days.

I think we're being hacked. I think so being hacked by naked people having sex. I think beautiful women are hacking my computer. In, like, I was in, like, fifth grade. My little brother tried to, like, he tried to get Halo 2 for PC. Impossible until the Master Chief Collection came out. Yeah, he downloaded Halo 2 for PC.E.X. And then there was a, like, a bunch of desktop icons that popped up.

And one of them, the only one I remember was an icon that said gay dungeon porn. that's so funny because it's like what do you gain from uploading that virus that puts gay dungeon porn on the desktop it's like when people sell their CDs on the street they're just trying to get it out there yeah you know they're just trying to get distribution sometimes it's hard when you're an independent gay dungeon porn content creator the icon is freddie the fish no the icon was like an m for some reason it was like a stone M For Mr. Patrick. That's Patrick's alter ego.

Mr. Patrick. Have you seen Mr. Steele your damn cat recently? Is he around? We saw him, remember? Mr. Stilio, damn cat? Remember, he was out to grab your damn cat? He was outside. I don't remember if we talked about on a premium or not.

If you don't know the guy who tried to grab your damn cat. Oh. Don't tell the story. If it was on a premium, you got to subscribe to hear it. Damn, that's cold, bro. That's how you have to do it. in the freaking business. Yeah.

Oh, we saw Mr. Gravio damn cat the other day. Wall Street, money never sleeps. Money can sleep. Money never sleeps. My money can sleep. It's so funny. I let my money sleep. Gordon Gecko.

Yeah. What guy? Yeah. Gecko. Really? No. No, that is his name. Who's Gecko?

The guy in Wall Street never sleeps. What's that? Wall Street, the movie. What's that? Michael Douglas. It's just a movie about a guy on Wall Street. His name is Gordon Gecko. Oh, that's funny.

Yeah. Doesn't he get Wikimieie? at the end or something. I'm Larry Lizard, and I'm the king of Wall Street. I'm the king of all the money on Wall Street. My name is Mr. Monkey. I'm Sam the Snake. Oh, yeah, I'm Sam the Snake, and I'm actually a hedge fund manager. I'm the funny frog. I'm the funny frog, and guess what? I'm the big dick giraffe, and I'm the president of the of the night's same size of my dick. Yeah. I'm the Lion King. I'm the Lion King two and a half. What's up? My name's the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the

B's knees And I'm Neez's Beezus I'm Neeses Beezus and I'm My name's Kid Cuddy And I'm the I'm one of the Wall Street guys And they say

I was introducing themselves All in a line Ooh child Things are gonna get easier It's beautiful Beautiful ones Things are gonna get I'm Bob Wall Street

I'm Bob Wall Street Hey I'm Bob Wall Street Let me teach you a thing or two He's sitting in a cardboard The board box at the bus stop. I was the biggest. Hop into my machine. I want to show you what my empire once was.

They should do a version of Wall Street, but like where all the porn companies are. They should do a version of Wall Street where there's a wolf that's there. They should let a wolf to have some money. Let's see what happens. I'm excited about this wolf. You look like a damn kebler elf right now, player. Keep it all the way one million with you. You sitting up here, you post it up like you making cookies in your damn tree.

You're in my tree, bitch. I'm not in your tree. This is my tree. Uh-huh. Where's the cookies in, Mr. Keebler? I do have a thing of cookie dough in the fridge. A cookie dough? Yeah.

Oh, he's got cookie dough. He's going to be Keeblin later tonight. A Dom's sister got a thing of cookie dough and ate it like a burrito. I'm going to tell you, here's why you're akebler elf, man, because you're small and you're annoying. Because I'm Irish? Yeah, because you're Irish. I'm actually the same height as you, motherfucker.

You're not. You're half and it's shorter, and you know what are your blood and your bones. I am the same height as you. How tall is that? That's 5'10. You think you're 5'10? I think we're both 5'10. We're not.

Why not? I'm like 5.8 and a half. We would have been... No? Yeah. I'm 51 plus 8. 5.9? So you admit you're not 510.

It seems as if you've been bested by me, who is sort of a Sheldon for Big Bang Theory, and you're like the girl from Big Bang Theory, who constantly loses to the smart guy. right here i yeah you can lie they don't measure you on the license they just ask i'm gonna read off patrick's license number okay no um let's see what what can we read off here can we read off your ad or your home address no i don't live there anymore all right his hair color is brown um if anyone wants to hack his hair if you if you try to change my hair color to any other color i will flip my shit it's funny that you look like 20 years older in this photo i do you do look way older in this picture how just you do you do you do we'll post it we'll post we're gonna scan patrick's ID

in that picture fresh barely league mm-hmm i was 17 the day before oh my god you look older you look like you're 18 height 69 inches you look 180 years old in that photo you look like shit oh i got to get this renewed this year shit i think i got to get that's gonna be one of the ultimate license to license before and after Yeah. That'll be good. You might as to frame those. It is disgusting.

It's the next one. Number seven. Yeah, porn is gross. Yeah. But it's sex is gross. They shit and they fart and stuff. They're making porn now where people shit into tortillas and wrap it up and eat it like a burrito. I'm serious.

I haven't seen it, but I know that it exists. I'm going to show it to you later. I'm going to send you a link or a... You should send me... I'm going to send you a kid file. You should send me greatest freak out ever. Yeah. I've been re-watching those.

Is that the one where he puts the remote in his ass? It's so funny, no one could tell that it was fake. Yeah. I mean, people were so gullible back in the day. Just like every viral video was... You had to get hardened by Greatest Freakout ever, one through nine. You had to get hardened. You get hardened because you see the remote go up his ass.

They actually show full penetration. In the remake. Yeah, in the porn parody of Greatest Freakout. Greatest Sex Out ever. Greatest Dig Out. Yeah, and he digs out that little asshole. He digs out the bread in the sandwich like they do at Jimmy Johns, and he fucks the shit out of it.

Did they do that at Jimmy Jones? Yeah, I saw them do it today. Just skipping ahead. Number 34 is boobs are annoying. Boobes are so annoying. That's comment on it. Yeah, you better fucking stay anonymous, buddy, talking reckless like that. They contain elements of violence.

I hate elements of violence. It's a disgrace to couples wanting a child. Do you think porn should be rated TVMA? Oh, absolutely. Should be rated NC17. They should rate Porn M. Why don't they rate? They don't rate, because that's what I, I accidentally watch it sometimes because

there's no rating on it. So if it's in, like normally I wouldn't watch an M rated thing. Should rate a P for porn. Yeah. But then that makes me, maybe I'll look at an S&P. What about, what about this? For preschoolers. What about X, X, X.X.

They rate it X, X, X, X, so you don't watch it. I would think that means like three X's, I would think that in 30 because I was classically educated, so I actually have an advanced understanding of Roman numerals So you can't watch it until you're 30 That's a pretty good rule That's why it says XXXX I think everybody would be better off

If it was you're It was impossible to watch porn Until you were 30 years old Yeah You know Biometric tests Yeah Bio-elological

You have to type in your social security To go into any porn site You have to You have to take a photo And send it Of your penis And then they age, they do a carbon dating on your penis to find out how old it is.

They do face app young, and if it changes, they know you're old. True. Because it doesn't change you if you're already young. If you do face app, I've done the face app young on a baby, and it does not change anything. Yeah, it says error already young. Yeah. This is baby. Yeah, it says this is baby.

Is it a Russian app? Yeah. It's part of the collusion. Part of Donald. Yeah, they actually did all the, they made Trump look cool. cool in all the pictures they were part of the oh my god i really liked that new picture of oh yeah that's so fucking i didn't i didn't think it would you know you'd think it looks kind of cool yeah his hair looks fine his hair looks good his skin looks cool i don't really get why all these

people are speaking to me to him for the reason she be is that a problem though i think people like when people are shiny that's like a whole category of porn that's like i look like bubble buddy from sponge bob people like it when people are shiny that's why there's a guy who dresses up in silver and a robot moves. Yeah, the Bicentennial Man, Robin Williams. Yep. People, there are Bicentennial Man on every street corner in L.A.

doing the robot. And they love to do the robot. Yeah. You go up to them. See, that's the secret. It's a tribute to Rob. People think you have to go up to them and give them a dollar. No, you go up to them and say,

Bicentennial Man, and then they will reveal that they are Robin Williams to you. Yeah. They're all. The silver guy comes up and goes, oh, the robot, the robots. Ooh. That's all I got. Mm-hmm. Is it Robin Williams or is it Monkey Williams, who is just a regular monkey?

He has no relation to Robb Williams, just has a last name like anybody should. Monkey Williams. Monkey Williams? Oh, my God. Johnny Carson, I have the worst news. You know how Robin Williams was supposed to come on the show? Why, yes, I do. We accidentally booked Monkey Williams.

Luckily he can do the ooh. Luckily, he does basically the same exact act, but I don't know how to pay him because we ran out of bananas two days ago. We have a great monkey Williams. He is the lead singer of a band called the gorillas. Oh my God.

I used to watch guerrillas music videos and get so scared. Yeah. I did. They're scary, dude. The one where Del the Funky Homo sapien gets really big. Yeah.

Which one's cool, dude. Finally, someone let me out of my kid. Bag, sunshine in the bag. Yeah. That one, I loved that song. I got sunshine. And it's bad. I'm useless.

But not for long. The monkey part is about to happen. And that's when I would turn it off when he says that. I'm the monkey. I also would get scared. I would get scared at the other one with De LaSoul. Is that feel good ink? Yeah.

They draw everybody so scary. Yeah. What are you talking about? You weren't scared of the windmill? You weren't scared of the guerrillas? No. I loved them. They were my friends. You didn't think the album cover was scary? You loved them, dude? That big guy with the drums? I loved him the most. I bet you did like a big guy. Yeah. I was scared of the lead singer and the girl. Because he had no eyes. That's what was scared me about him. He had no eyes and he sang like a little fucking creep. The other guy was the Satanist. You weren't scared of him?

Murdoch. Yeah. Murdoch. You guys know the Satanist? Yeah. These guys are your first. First, I'm voiced by Mark Hamill. I don't know. No, you're thinking of the Joker. That's right. Okay.

You're thinking of Luke Skywalker. I don't even think I know what you're talking about at all. The guerrillas? Yeah. You don't... You knew the name of the guy. I thought we were talking about the Batman. The gorilla...

Oh, oh, you thought... The Batman. We were talking about Gorilla Grod. From Batman. Yeah. Who makes an appearance in Batman. Is he from the Flash or from Superman? He's from all of them, pretty much.

He's from the zoo. Boom. I don't know that he is from the zoo. He might not be. I think he's from a monkey planet. Zoo is monkey jail. Yeah. No, it's monkey.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The zoo is just a jail for monkeys and elephants and bees. You went to the zoo. You walk out of the gift shop and you're just swarmed by bees. Yeah, every other monkey is out of season. Oh, we have his bees right now.

Yeah, we lost federal funding for the season. The only thing we could afford was bees because they'll fucking... These are the only animals. People don't protest for us having in a cage. Yeah, mosquitoes. The guy next door to us just kind of had beekeeping shit, so... Yeah, so we just decided... We cut him a deal.

We cut him a deal. He gets to keep all of his bees here. Yeah, and we charge you $50. We charge you money and we don't give it to him. There's a... Do you guys want to go in the snake pool? Do you guys want to go in the Ant Room?

What's that? It's a bug zoo? What's that? It's zoo for bugs. Yeah, welcome to my bug zoo. We have ants. There's bees everywhere. There's just like a cage that has a pile of shit in it.

Yeah, that's the fly exhibit. Yeah, that's where all them eat. We have, it's like a lawn. There's the worms. The worms. Sharks, I'm asking for a 40% stake and $50 million in my bug zoo. You're going to do what? I'm going to put a million bees and 100 ants in the same room.

And I'm going to charge Chinese tourists $150 to walk in. And they're not allowed to leave until they say uncle. Yeah. And then... It just instantly closes because all the bees just fly away. It's put it like bars up like a cage Yeah then we had to get Then we had to get the fake bees

It was just the guy We're just bees on sticks Yeah Just like stuck in the ground As a guy just like you know How they have like people like paint like the Warhammer characters But he's painting a fly Into bee colors

Yeah I have to paint like a million more of these fucking things Every time he lets They don't stop moving And we have to move them every day Every time he lets go of it It just flies away Ah shit I didn't put, the thing's only got two stripes on it.

Luckily, uh... That's no B. Yeah, luckily the spider will never leave us. Mm-hmm. And it's dead and it's the web says, uh, Charlotte's Web. A spider? Cross over anybody? With Charlotte's Webb?

With Charlotte's Web? The CBD company? This, what? Charlotte's Web is a big CBD. They should not have done that. It stands for crawling big tarantula. Durantula. Durantula.

Like Kevin Durant. Mm-hmm. Kevin Durantula. Okay, doggle. Show me a bug zoo. Build a bug zoo in my house. Okay, doggle. Build me a bug zoo for my friends to hang out at.

I don't like ant farms unless they're alien. Honey, are you okay? Okay, Google. Dole. Okay, dogle. Play alien ant farm, smooth criminal. Okay, Google. Smooth criminal, what's this about a burglar with alopecia?

That's loud. Nice, all right, yeah, we can read the Patreon to this. Oh, yeah. Okay, Google. No, keep it loud. Okay, Dougal. Seven. No, keep it loud.

You can't hear it. Yeah, seven's still loud. No, put it back up. Okay, Dougal. Okay, Dougal, maximum volume. Okay, dogle, maximum volume. Maximum volume. Okay, don't put it there.

Now that's too loud. Just keep it in the background. Yeah. Okay. All right. We got some... Where does it start? Oh, yeah, we got a lot this week.

Was it here? Yeah, bro, I think that's the last one we read. All right. Okay. Cool. Shout out to Nick Bailey. Yeah. Shout out to Brian Corvello.

Brian Corvello. Shout out. Shout out to Michelle Larnie. Michelle Larnie. Chandler Albers Shout out to Reyeshi Who makes really cool music Or shout out to

Shout out to Reyeshi who makes really cool music Yeah, so let's say out Mr. Business Shout out my big bitch Mr. Business Mr. Business, what's up We love you, baby We love all of the patrons We love every single one of you If you could tell two friends

We can get the 200 bucks a month And we can get an Xbox 1S This is the podcast about this challenge You tell two friends to subscribe to the Patreon, and we get the money. And we get some serious money, and we're going to challenge your wallets. Uh-huh. We're going to challenge. This is the podcast about this challenge.

You give two friends our money. It's 15 episodes, one book, one Caleb. One Caleb. There's a couple videos of me on there. There's a zip file filled with a bunch of pictures of guys. Caleb's real phone number. My real phone number is on there. an enlisted video.

And you're absolutely welcome to call me or text me. I'm not worried about it. You know, the thing is, you pay me, and I'm your slave. So, uh, do whatever you want to me. It doesn't sound like you're a slave if you're getting paid. I'm not paid. I feel bad that we did all the Patreon shoutouts while Alien Ant Farm was playing. I think they could hear it.

Yeah, it's very, it's in the background. Patrick gets so worried about stuff. He's such a worry work. Patrick always says, chances are. You're a worry warrior. That's not true. Patrick goes like this. Are I'm going to crap my pants today.

Watching Patrick, stop worrying. It's like watching two babies suck each other's dicks. Oh, you watch that a lot. No, I'm saying it's like this. No, no, I like to look the other way when you're doing it, is what I'm saying. You like to watch a baby suck a dick on a baby. I don't like doing that the other way into a mirror so you can see it. So I can do my makeup.

You like to watch the other way into a fun house mirror because your view of society is so I think you guys are missing the point that you are two babies and you're sucking each other's No or not. I'm watching it happen. So why are you watching it? You're watching it happen on a, I'm watching it happen on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on the tour browser, so it's okay. No, so it doesn't.

Bye guys.