Podcast About List - Ep. 91 - Hurricane backdoor crack

Episode Date: March 11, 2020

motha fucker going hamwise laying the goblin stink egg   www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. This is the crazy crap monster. This is the crazy frog. Break down. He was a phoony. I fucked a crazy frog. I thought he was a funny. Then I found out he was just animated.

Wait, hold up. Let me go grab my crazy frog. You're crazy frog? We already started recording. You can't leave now. You're right. Patrick's gone. Oh, my gosh.

All right, let's... We need to figure out our exit plan for him. Yeah. He's been doing this every week. He's been running and grabbing something. That's true. He's had to go to the bathroom and grab some poop out of the toilet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We need to figure out a way to get. get him off the podcast permanently we can pretend that he's sick we can pretend that he's sick oh patrick you're really sick you're too sick to be on the podcast oh that is cool he has a backpack which no it's probably not probably can't hold anything wait no keep it on i would take a picture it's a stuffed animal that goes on your back that looks like the crazy frog all right does it have the weanies they do not have crazy frog wait there's no penis on him there's no penis on it they got no penis on the thing they got no thing What'd they do to my boy, man?

I have to return this. They got no penis on the thing. I have to return this. There is no, they do have a, they do have his ass. It is a true asshole. Oh, man. And they have a zipper. A little puckered up.

I'm starting to understand where there's straps on it. Yeah. But, oh, because I, okay, I think I took this out. Patrick put a present inside a crazy frog. It used to be that you could, I think I did some. What are you doing to him? I think I did. That's his heart.

I took, I did something to this. It doesn't matter. I had to bring it. It doesn't. Yeah, this doesn't. Yeah, this doesn't. Yeah. This is so impossible to explain visually. There is a, we have a crazy frog here, which looks life-sized to me.

Yeah, no, this looks like it would be the height of crazy frog. Well, he doesn't he ride, or he rides an invisible motorcycle. I will say, they made his face extremely fucked up. They did fuck the face. That's probably what it was. Yeah, they fucked the face completely. They fucked the face. They fucked him blue.

But it used to be you could squeeze his hand and then he would do his crazy frog sounds. But then I had to bring that to class with me because Ben gave it to me. He had to. Well, Ben gave it to me in the middle of the day. And then I was like, oh, well, I have to go to class with this. And I didn't want, like, crazy frog noises to happen in the middle of class. So I think I... Just don't press the hand.

I pulled a wire. He can't help himself from holding hands with him. Yeah. He knew that he wouldn't be able to... Yeah. He was like, I have to kill you before I can resist holding your hand. Oh, my God. You cut his veins.

I cut crazy dogs. He cut his main artery, man. Crazy Frog's thing is broken. You cut his main vein. Yeah, man. I want to bring my friend to class. I want to bring my friend to class, but I'm afraid he'll talk, so I have to take out his wires. I had to kill my friend so I wouldn't hold his hand.

So I could hold his hand, and he didn't go, bang, man, man, man, me, bra, blah, bra, blah, blah, blah, blab. It's like the end of American beauty. He killed him so he wouldn't hold his hand. Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen American beauty. At the end of the dad, the gay military dad, he kills Kevin Spacey because he tried to fuck Kevin Spacey, and Kevin Spacey was like, no, I'm a peasant. pedophile and the guy was like oh but i'm gay and so he killed him because he didn't want to he didn't want to

feel gay it's the battle of intersectionality yeah yeah yeah which one the oppression olympics yeah yeah did kevin spacy win an oscar for that movie um i'm pretty sure you won an oscar for that movie no for being both characters yes in real life yeah yeah this all events in this movie are based off the life of patrick dorin I was two years old when that movie came out. I don't think it doesn't matter when it came out. I think they time travel to find your story. I watched this movie The Return of the Living Dead the other day.

And the beginning of the movie, it says, everything in this movie is true. All names of companies and all names of people are real. And it's just, I just thought that was funny. Is that the one with the butterflies come to life? Like, the butterflies on the wall? That's a good movie. It's a really good movie.

But I thought it would be funny if they, like, did that. They're like, oh, this would be funny. And they just get the fuck suit out of them. I don't think you can. I don't think there's any legal recourse for being fooled in a movie, yeah, but I'm saying it would be funny if that would be funny, yeah, I'll give you that much. If then the movie had to get destroyed. But what if that?

What if they had to destroy the movie? I feel like in the past 10 years has had a thing of the beginning. It's like, this is real. Like the exorcism of Emily Rose. Well, I feel like based on a true story is different. They literally, they're like... The events of this are exactly true. Yeah, they say like all the names of people and all the names of companies are exactly

as they are in real life. We should just... No, they always say they change the name. games. Yeah, but they didn't say it. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, no. That's exactly what I'm saying.

Now I get what you're saying. What movie is it that starts and it says like if you have a heart attack, don't watch this moon. No, that's Frankenstein. Oh, really? They do, yeah, that is, they do say it to be any of Frankenstein. Really? They say this movie isn't for the faint of, yeah, a guy comes out in front of a curtain.

He's like, I have to warn you that. Oh, yeah, I remember that. You watch that movie with a curtain. You're a girl. Take the curtain out the damn screen, ma. The damn screen, fool. No, there's some movies. movie that's like all

all it's like if you I don't know it doesn't matter we should we should upload a copy of Star Wars that has that at the beginning it's just like this is a true story but that's the only change we made to the entire movie yeah and people like that that wasn't on the yeah remember George Lucas

will not stop editing his movies after the fact he will not stop adding stuff yeah he just makes a mumble core Star Wars movie he put Hillary Clinton in the newest version of it yeah yeah she played Jabba the Hut yeah no We wish, dude. No, she played Princess Leia. Taylor Clinton, you fat as shit, bitch.

I'll say it. You fat as shit. That's why I didn't vote for you. Yeah, I didn't vote for you because you look like a bag of yogurt. Because you look like a bag of a piss, you fucking fat, fat, fat, shitty old. I'll say it. You look like a big ball. You look like a big rolling ball down the hill. Yeah, you look like a, what's it called a Tammuki, a Bajoo. You look like the Tanoi suit. Tanuki suit.

You look like Mazzucca Joe. No, what's the name of the game where you're a big ball? Oh, catamari? Yeah, you look like a calamari, bitch. She looks like a catamari because everything... Anything that she comes in contact with sticks to her and she ruins it. In catamore, they make it better. We should start a political podcast.

Yeah, wait, let's start... We put Patrick in a room and we say, you have to talk about politics without using... You can't, like, open up a tab on your laptop or anything. You just have to say everything you know about politics for an hour. So here's... So here's, let's start, let's do political stuff. Okay, let's do some political stuff.

Elizabeth Warren is like a parasite on the mouth of a fish, and the fish is America, because we love to, we keep on swimming, but Elizabeth Warren. Yeah. She's like a little spider that eats the fish alive from the inside. She's like an Anunnaki, and she will transform into whatever she wants, including a Native American. Yeah. Elizabeth Warren.

She's a Native American because she was here way before anybody else. She's an alien from Nibiru. You're a total Bowser Jr. Right. You're with Warren. And you're like Lemmy. You're, you know what it is? You're Remy LaCroix.

And you got a big, and you got a big fat ass and a humongous pussy. Elizabeth Warren, your praxis is trash. And it reminds me of, uh, of, uh... It reminds me very much of my balls. It reminds me of, um, uh, what's it called? Banjo Cazooey nuts and bolts. That's how bad it is. Because it looks like my nuts and my bolts, bitch.

Yeah. You fucking bitch. And you look like a bear and a bird combined. Joe Biden, you got a brain. You got a... You look like... Liz Warren, you look like all the fucking animals on your totem pole all combined into one fat bitch. You fucking stupid, fucking loser.

You know what? I bet you asked to be player two on GameCube because you can't handle the responsibility of Player 1. Liz Warren's the kind of person who turns off the GameCube when someone says you're not Native American. She hits the reset button. Yeah. She hits the reset button. She plays Animal Crossing. She hits the reset button, so Resetti will talk to her.

I bet you lose on all the luge maps on SpongeBob Battle for Bikini Bottom because you can't handle the tongue. No. Fucking fat, bitch. I bet she doesn't even like playing Mario. I bet she doesn't even like playing. Liz Warren, on Tetris, you stack up all the blocks and you never complete a line. Yeah, on Tetris. That's on Tetris.

And that's on Tetris. And that's on Tetris. Lismoreen, you put on a movie and then you leave halfway through the movie because you have to go to the bathroom and then you come back and make it and you rewind it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, you bitch. And that's your, then that's your policy. Joe Biden, you look like a giant ant from the Matrix, the Path of Neo. Joe Biden, you have black eyes like a, like a, like a lizard.

Hey, Joel Biden, you look like Plank from Ed Nettie. He does. Yeah. Damn. still you look like someone draw your face on fool it's true he does have had one sparkling rosé I had a sparkling rosé I had a sparkling rosé

all day and now I'm going psycho I'll go off on any candidate yeah that's right Joe Biden you're like the you're like psychomantus because you're all you're trying to look into my cartilage you're trying to search you're searching through kids cartridges looking for your personal game

you're trying to find the entrance you're trying to play inside their cartridges you're trying to blow on their cartridges and reset them if you know when I'm talking Yeah, and Amy Klobuchar, too. Yeah, I'm not going to talk about her. I'll talk about her. Amy Klobuchar, you're like, uh, you're like, I have too much respect for her.

I got that bitch playing Kooking Mama and trying to eat the food off the screen. I'm serious. She's a... She did that. She's a thwomp. Yeah, you look like a whole thwump. You look like a thwomp combined with Patrick. I will not say anything. I bet your pussy tastes like a mystery-flavored dumb

You fucking stupid dumb dumb bitch Yeah Fucking fat-ass Yeah more like Amy Ghostbustar Because you think ghosts are real And you look like slimer Is you're trying to slime the country Yeah more like Amy go

To the butchar Because she goes and she gets out Fucking two pounds of Capacolo Eats it in her sedan In the parking lot That's true Yeah, Cory Booker. More like Cory Booker's show for kids, and he watches the show, and he wishes that he could be the child performer. Yeah, you stupid creep, bitch.

Yeah. Corey Booker, you look like a snapping turtle motherfucker. Much respect to Rosario Dawson, though. Archer is an all-time show. Oh, she's not an archer? Yes, she is. She's not an archer. Oh, no, that's that other lady. And that's Ayesha Tyler. They're the same in my head. Clerks 2 was fine. Clerks 2 was fine. Kids saw that movie. I think Clarks 2 is the only Rosario Dawson flick. I've seen. Shoes and kids. Have you seen kids? I have not seen kids.

Movies effed up, man. Yeah? That's one of those movies that like someone's older brother shows you. That's like a dance with the devil type movie. Yeah. No, that's the kids is the dance,

the immortal technique dance with the devil. Adaptation. Of movies. They should, they should do a film adaptation. And it's just, it's an hour that the song plays in the background. There's like it's like trash in the closet.

Yeah. Yeah, because R. Kelly's in it. he's the main guy yeah kids is a it's a fine movie I guess and you know what back on political stuff

for a second Bill Gates you look like Steve Jobs yeah oh Bill Gates at Steve Jobs you're dead someone

there's someone that does look like Bill Gates and I'm trying to think of it it's someone we know it's you yeah yeah it's not me Dana Carvey is the turtle

a master disguise Pete Buttich you're like a point and click adventure game because I Pete Buttigieg you look like a bosmer. You do, you got a bosmer radiation coming off of you, dude.

You look like a bosmer, but I feel, yeah, you're like a bosmer in that you would be a cannibal. I'm catching bosmer waves with my detector off of Pete Buttigieg. What's his bosmer level? Over, over 9,000. Exactly. Oh, my God, don't even say that, dude. Buttigieg, the Bosmer.

Pete Bosmer, Judge. Pete Bosmer, Judge. And then Beto O'Rourke. You're just a loser. You're just a total crap head. Amy Charzard? Amy Klobushart. Oh.

I'm sorry. Can't just put a cat on Patrick's face. I'm sorry. I was trying to put him here. That's one of the most vicious attacks in the Taliban's repertoire. And you did it to your friend. You put a cat's penis on your first face? There wasn't his foot.

Foot went out and a hip hat in the face. You wish that was his foot. Yeah, you wish. His third foot. I wish it was his foot. A cat's got a fit... Yeah, that's my fifth leg. Yeah.

You cats are not packing heat, I'll say it. No, they aren't. They're like me. They're like you, man. Yeah. I hit, uh, yesterday I was at the skate park. I fucked up a backboard slide. Like, I, like, I haven't...

I fucked up a backflip. I fucked up doing a bit. There was, oh my God, this was the funniest thing. There was just like a dude who just kept going around. He had a longboard, but his trucks were like so tight. And he was trying to just carve around. like the bowls and stuff and he like just kept fucking up

like he the funniest thing I saw him do because there's like at Smith Park there's like the park and then there's the basketball court yeah and he fucking hit he was on the basketball court riding around just like trying to like you know like that thing that long boarders do where they like put their foot on it

and then they spin around and then they keep going like while they're moving yeah put their foot on it so he was trying to do one of those hit a pebble and then fell face first into the ground and then got up and was like like he was like doing that and then like a kid and his dad

who were playing basketball came over and like stretched his legs for him it was the weirdest fucking thing oh but I fucked up a backboard slide I'd like never do that and then it like went up and it hit my side taint and like

you have you have hemispheres to your taint that's how big it is no you do no the side taint it's the side taint yeah there's the regular taint and then right here that's the side that's your crotch buddy

yeah yeah well okay side taint what are you talking this side taint the fucking you're talking about the area between your pelvis and the area between your leg and your and your pub bone yeah that's yeah it's just your crotch that's the crotch that's the crotch zone

right to the side of the sack the crotch the hole is the urethra no no uh I mean the whole w hole the whole w hole The W hall. I got...

So the board went, it missed my nuts by an inch. What could have been, dude? Mm-hmm. I would have thrown up. But I got...

I remember... I got hit in the side taint and then I got up... Stop saying that. I got hit in the side tank, got up, walked around, and then said, I'm going home to somebody

to like somebody I don't know. Just to make it known just so you had it on paper. Yeah. Just so somebody... Yeah. So, hey, where did that guy go

just got hit in the Side taint. Oh, we went home. He went home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. After a hit like that, after a catastrophic hit to the side taint. You know we got hit in the side taint. Oh, I would go home too. Yeah. And I would have told somebody. You have to. You have to talk to. When everybody looks at you because you just hate yourself and the nuts to see. That's Mary time. That's Mary time. I'm going home. I'm going on everybody. I can do this anymore. You have to tell them. Yeah. Me, I can skate. I can skateboard. I can kickflip a long board. I can board and kick flip with a long board I can grind with a screen door I'm extremely good at skateboarding You cannot grind with the screen door I could you give me a screen door I will be on a rail

I would probably do it before you did it No you wouldn't I could do a flip on a laser beam Are you serious? No I could do it You could never do a laser beam We're gonna have to I'm gonna put that to the test I'm gonna create a laser beam

Here's what we're gonna do We're gonna do the Cameron Olympics Yeah Which is like the special Olympics it's all the same stuff yeah but you have to flip on a laser beam too and you're the only competitor okay and we're gonna video it sounds fun yeah it's gonna be fun we're gonna make you dash yes i know you love to dash yes we're to make you throw Cameron's dash we're gonna make you what can i throw uh javelin spear oh uh what do you want to throw i mean

he's probably gonna throw a frisbee a frisbee he's gonna throw a ball a frisbee he's gonna throw a ball of crap throw a ball Please don't throw a ball of crap He'll do it He's a psycho Well that yeah He would also He'll get first place

No matter what he does Because he's not afraid To pick up Except for skateboarding He's not afraid to pick up his poop I skateboard onto a laser beam And win He's not afraid to use his mouth

Like a like a Like a gravel truck And pick things up A poop a scoopa Yeah That's like if you It's like the soft day Yeah

Soft day poopa scupa That's nice of you Yeah Thank you for using the soft day. What kind of events do we want to see in the Cameron Olympics? Yeah, I think Cameron getting $100. Cameron skateboarding, I'd have to see. I would do, I probably, I could probably, with like an hour of practice, I could probably do a really shitty Olly.

Okay. Yeah. We, okay. I've never done an Olly in my life. I've gotten close to one before. But I've never, like, actually done one. I mean, I've, Patrick. I had a very good day at the skate park.

yesterday i'm like really got hitting the side taint you got hitting the side taint went home you did tell a child i'm going home no no it was a grown want to come that's even worse you should have told a kid no yeah I think it was I think he might have should have told a grown kid

is your thing like if you're at the skate park and you're the oldest person there does that suck not really no if it's like you can just tell they're oh yesterday you can just tell kids anything you want kids to move that out of the way and they listen whoa yeah that's like god mode

When I was in high school I kicked a kid out of the skate park You're still in high school Yeah what are you talking about When I was in I was 16 I kicked a scooter kid out for A scooter kid still 16 He was uh he poured water on the uh the box And I said we don't

I was like you can't do not like water box We do not make boxes wet here at the skate park I was like what are you trying to ruin it Yeah we're all getting it and then he got pretty scared Whoa dude you scared You scared? I scared a 14 year old out of skate park when I was 16 Because he made the box wet. I've punched a seven-foot man in the face.

Yeah. Yeah. And also... I killed a baby. Yeah. I'm way tougher than you guys. Well, Anthony Jesselnik just walked in. Well, Anthony, that was...

Do another joke. That one was so good. I don't know anything about Anthony Jesselnik. I've actually raped my mom. Yeah. And people are like, woo, dude, he's the funniest fucker in the world. Because women are actually ugly.

Woo! Yeah, mass shootings are. You're cool, and I would do one. I actually prefer a mass shooting if I'm at a restaurant. Preferer one. I go in, they say smoking or not smoking. I say mass shooting. I say, put me in the mass shooting section.

Yeah. Woo! And Joe Rogan's like, man, you're a genius. How do you come up with these fucking fucked up jokes? You have such a crazy sick mind. I've actually taken inspiration from Christopher Walken. He does have a walking thing. Yeah, I forget about that.

I've seen an interview where he says that Christopher Walken is the person he bases his like the one anthony jesslinic thing that i really like is his dain cook impression yeah i've seen that it's so fucking funny he i i think there's some stuff that he says is funny but it's like most of it's just like i mean he's definitely like a good joke writer yeah he's a good joke writer it's just like he used to try to be just dirty dmitri martin oh he was dirty and we already we already have one of my favorite comedians dirty dmitri martin dirty dmitri yeah i love Dirty Dmitri da Comedian. He does a version of The Aristocrats with a notebook pad.

Yeah, and he's like... He draws everything. Yeah. And then the sun started chitting everywhere. Yeah. And then the sun started shitting, and then... And he said, The Aristocrats. Mm-hmm.

That'd be cool. Yeah. What about Dirty George Carlin? That wouldn't happen. What about clean George Carlin? Wow. And he says, Fruit, You. That's where you went to college.

Mm-hmm. Fruit, University. because you're in a you're such a fruit yeah remember when that was an insult yeah that's like an insult your dad says yeah yeah my my dad actually does say yeah he'll be like you're being a real fruit right now yeah what are you a fruit if i get one time i got a lemon drop at the bar in front of my dad rookie mistake absolutely rookie mistake and he was like pretty fruity drink you got there you're like yeah i love lemon my dad doesn't outright call things my dad stopped calling things gay but he does do this thing with his eyebrows now

when you order something that's gay? He's like, oh, you're getting that. For the listeners, Patrick shaved his eyebrows off when he said that. I started pulling my eyebrows out with a threat. He shaved his eyebrows into a picture, a tiny picture of a guy. Into a picture of my dad making the face. Yeah, yeah. He does that with his eyebrows.

He did. He shaved his eyebrows into two Hitler eyebrows. Hitler had eyebrows. Yeah. That were just the middle part. Yeah. I was watching that white. this kid's Hitler rap

last night and try that again that would be going to be and evidence or leibnizor leibler

sir blared is somebody somebody's nother somebody reversed that yeah you'll be surprised

and shocked you're never getting on SNL really angry yeah yeah I wanted to bring up from the discord

oh a new a new person in the lore we were asking I'm designing like a hungry hamstra avaganza shirt and we were asking people in the discord like oh what characters from the show should i put on it what's funny and they said that uh but i guess there's a discord created character uh named saluccio that we've never heard of soluccio we're still

trying to figure out who soluccio is what solution we just wanted to shout out salucio in his head first walls yeah solutionio and the head first walls something like that um i try to ask who Seleuio was. Everyone just said, you know. Yeah. Yeah. They kind of iced us out. It's like, we made you. Yeah. Uh, but yeah, I wanted to shout out. I think it's our fault for not paying attention.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what it's like if you, if you don't pay attention to your case. For Seleucio. Like, it's not, I'm not mad about it. Yeah, I think, yeah, I think Seleuio is a great addition. Yeah, I'm welcome to, I'm welcome, I'm happy to welcome to the roster. Yeah, this is our first, this is the first, um, acceptance. This is the first, it's the first, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, they're

going to mod Seleucio into the podcast. Yeah, we're patching in Seleucio soon. Into all past episodes. Yeah. So you go back. There will be tons of Seleucio material. Yeah. Just keep ears out and your eyes out. Would Seleuio is an Italian man? You know, we haven't done our research. I don't want to... I don't feel comfortable just making stuff up. It's really not our thing. Yeah, not our place. We will become educated. Next week, you might hear me doing a funny Solutiono voice saying Solutiono, ramming my head into a wall. and I'll kind of round it out they'll give us the baton and we'll run

with it. Yeah, is what I'm saying. I mean, yeah. So shout out to, I think it was a manor. Shout out to Seleuio and only Seleuio. Yeah, no. Fuck whoever came up with Seleuio. Seleuio was bigger than you. Seleuio is, we're starting a new podcast called Seleuio's Solutions.

Yeah. Yeah. Seleuio's business solutions. Yeah, and he'll have tons of, you know, he'll be, it'll be think it, learn it. It's, uh, Seleucio. Soluccio it. Solutiono it.

Yeah, that'll be his catchphrase. See, we're, again, we're getting too far. Yeah, I don't want to, yeah. Whatever, let's just hop on the list. Yeah. What time are we at? Right an hour and a half. Oh, damn.

Yeah. The, uh, the list today I've found pretty quickly so, but I think it's funny. Oh, does it? Uh, do, but da, ba, da, boom. Uh, this is, um, on the top tens, top ten signs, you have a bad neighbor. Mm-hmm. And it's by user in new me. Metal Mania.

Oh, friend of the pod, new metal mania. Number one sign, his name is Patrick and he lives next door to you. I don't feel like I am a pretty bad neighbor. Yeah, you definitely are. Yeah. No, I don't do much. I feel like you're just standing here and you go, yeah! If you had a lawn dude, I would never want to live next to you.

Yeah. If you had like a backyard, I can only imagine what you're doing back there, dude. I don't know. Probably just grill and musty backyard air. You would build a, you would build a half pipe. Yeah, I'd build a mini... If I had a backyard, I'd have a mini ramp in there, like, first month. And you'd have an above-ground pool.

No, you would not clean. I would not have it above-grim, boy, hate swimming. You love swimming. You would have it for your... You hate swimming? No, I don't hate swimming, but I feel like a pool. Patrick can't swim. I feel like a pool is just...

I can swim. I don't know. No, I had to... No, there was a pool in the condo complex. Prove you can swim literally right now. You have 10 seconds. All right, I'll go in the tub. All right, go.

That's not deep enough. Sip-I. We have to come. go to the YNCA. That's fine. There's only three, one second. All right, Patrick cannot swim.

It's been proven. We had a pool in my neighborhood. Why, you can't swim. We had a pool in my neighborhood. They should have got rid of it. They shouldn't have had a pool and Patrick's just a lot of upkeep. Yeah,

that's why you'd be a terrible. That's why you'd be a terrible neighbor. Yeah, you'd let it get like, not, I mean green, you'd let it get brown. Yeah, it would turn purple. You'd go, you just use it like a toilet. There was like an old,

there was an old, couple that was in charge of the pool in the neighborhood. Yeah, your mom and dad? No. My mom and dad were young at the time. Yeah, we got. Me and camera just absolutely flaming you today. And Fran, Fran one day, did not clean the pool. She didn't clean the pool

for a week, and then the pool was green one day and it was warm. And I was like, oh, I wonder why it's warm. And then I opened up one of the filters, and there's a bunch of dead frogs of it. Whoa. There was a bunch of dead. So wait, just to... And I thought that frog's blood was in the pool, and that's white. To clarify, you saw it was

green and you felt it to see if it was warm? I went in. You went in when it was screaming in the pool because Fran told us it was fine. And that's where you got your frog abilities. Yeah, that's when I got my frog. That's why you got his big leap. And you have an extremely long tongue. Yeah.

But yeah, she was like, oh, it's fine. I just used a new cleaner. And then we opened the frogs. There was a bunch of dead frogs in it. Those are cleaner, dude. And then my mom was like, we got to go home. I don't know what the fuck is going on. When I was a, when I was a kid, there was a, there was a, there was a, there was a

There was a hurricane in North Carolina, and they, we like, like the hockey team. There was one exact, it was, it was the Carolina hurricanes, yeah, they came to my town. No, people died, Patrick, will you shut up? There was a hurricane that came to my hometown. They left open, my parents left open the back door, like, cracked, and we, like, went to sleep. It's left open your back door crack. No. After the he used it.

Oh, my God, dude, that's my mom and dad you're talking about, man. They went hurricane in your back door crack. crack. Dude, my mom and dad went her again in my back door crack. He's mad now. Caleb's doing that thing with his eye when he gets mad. He's going...

They got a whole hockey team into my back door crack. Yeah, I'm doing on John's face. Yeah. A knife and a spoon, please? That's just for us. No, they left the back door open, cracked. Not my... Not my ass crack, not my baby butthole.

Nobody put anything in my ass. But they did leave the back door. No. And they left the back door of the house kind of open. Okay? And we went to sleep and we woke up and there was a thousand frogs in our house. And we had to chase them. We had to chase frogs out of our house.

My mom would, she like found frogs. In the cereal? Like in the, yeah, like in the pantry for like weeks. No, they were in the cereal. Yeah. Well, we did. We were eating. Did you guys notice my rat?

I did notice your rash. I did notice your rash. I wanted to ask you if it was sexual. I have a rash because I'm allergic to prilosec OTC. I love, dude, Halo S-D-O-D-S-T. That's what I, you're allergic to. If you want the rest of my prilosec, you can have it. I don't, is that a dick pill? What's that? It's a heartburn medication. You take 14 pills in a week and then.

Oh, I've taken that before. Yeah, you take 14 and then you don't have heartburn for like four months. Yeah, I, when I was. So I'm going to have not have heartburn for two months because I only took seven and then I don't know if that's how that works when I was a big fat guy I would I would get the most insane heartburn me too yeah I would get like I would get combination sleep paralysis and heartburn oh so I would wake up and not be able to move and also be choking on my own vomit uh and then and then I died yeah oh my god and that's what this list is about I died like the girl and breaking bed the description

of this list is um right by new mental maniac do you fear your neighbors or hate them this list talks about the signs of having a bad neighbor not necessarily the worst types of people that can be neighbors or the most annoying things overall just the signs the neighbor next door could be bad number one they act like they own the street that pisses me off when mr johnson puts up a sign it says johnson boulevard johnson street yeah

yeah you're like what are you doing he's like i own the street i mean is it i is my street you're just acting okay you're an actor you're class you were can't be the mayor of the street you can't be the mayor of the street You can't. It doesn't make any sense. You can be the king of the street, but you better have a leather jacket and some switchblades. Yeah. And a crown. Yeah, and a crown.

You could be the Latin Kings of the street. You could be the Latin Kings. That's true. Yeah. You can be the Latin Kings. You can. I just call them Kings. I don't even, I call them the Latin X kings.

Yeah. The New Metal Maniac about this one says, basically... The Latin X King X. basically the vigilantes, the ones who like to think the whole street belongs to them and should follow their rules. I hate when Mr. Johnson makes rules for the street. I hate when my street has a vigilante. Yeah.

My neighbor's a vigilante. Oh, man, we have the worst vigilante problem on our street. Yeah, we have a serious vigilante problem. Parablam. I love problem. Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Yeah. I tried to jump back in and I fucked up the fucking landing.

Uh, number two, their home smells awful. Does that mean you can smell it from outside? Yeah, the home has a dust thing around it, like pig pen from Charlie Brown. Yeah, it's got serious stink lines. Yeah, it's got stank lines. Yeah, it's got stink lines. And I'm not talking monster. I know I'm definitely, I know I'm definitely a bad neighbor, but like I feel like I was lucky enough growing up because we were definitely bad neighbors, but I was lucky enough to live next door to my aunt.

So it's like I could be as bad of a neighbor as I want. You could shoot those stink lines right at her damn face. She didn't care. Oh, and believe me, I did. Yeah, we were always bad neighbors growing up. We would have, like, because we would, like, encroach on people's properties. Like, one time there was this huge mud puddle in this, in our neighbor's yard. It was like when we were living, like, out in the country, sort of.

There was, like, a giant mud puddle. Yeah. And, uh, that you made with your butt. No, I didn't, I didn't shit it out with my ass. You made a mud puddle with your butt. My older brother and his friend duct taped me and Levi, my younger brother, to, like, hand trucks for moving. And we just, they would, through the mud, they just, like, played chick chicken with us and just like smash this into each other and then the guy called the police

wow yeah we uh god what do we have what do we have what do we have what do we have we have we oh um there was one time no i won't say it say it i had neighbors who would hit the the we lived upstairs and they would hit the floor the seal art floor with their broom oh i've been there a million times man yeah when i lived in 35 there was a fucking there was like a like a like frat that lived below me and they would just like they would start playing music like four in the morning through like uh it was like they had like an acura owned by like an idiot that had like a giant subwoofer in it yeah yeah yeah yeah the acura in his apartment that's what it sounded like you know you know like dumb people who get like the subloofs in the car they just get like a 2003

like acura with like chipped paint yeah and they put no money into the car and then just buy like huge ass speakers worth of speakers where it in the trunk yeah and then they play like some song where you can't hear anything except just like, burr, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like those kind of speakers. Yeah. Yeah. And you hit them with a broom?

And I went down and I went hobo with a shotgun on them. Nice. You seen that movie? No. It's a good movie. But I could guess what happens. That's got Ruger Hower. Yeah.

If you were in it, it'd be called Homo with a shotgun. If you were in it, you called Bougar-Ochy. Bougar-ouchy. That would be your name if you were an actor. No, I wouldn't. And you'd be dead just like him. I am an actor. Yeah, what are you?

act. A fool. You got that right. Yeah. A damn fool. You might have, I'm an actor. You might have recognized me for my role as a damn fool all the time. A damn fool when I'm in the Walmart. There was one time my mom, I think I've said this on the show before, but we've, we, uh, my mom showed us the scary maze game and we couldn't sleep because of how scared we were.

Yeah. Yeah. We couldn't sleep because of how scared we were. and my aunt next door, like, came over and started screaming, like, trying to scream at us. And my mom was like, I'm trying to get them to bed because, like, our room was adjacent to hers. Like, so all she could hear was us, like, fighting with my mom. Like, about the scary name game. Why did you show us that?

We can't sleep. Yeah, that's a serious. That's a dark mom move. There was like a, evil mom. Well, she just did it because it was a prank. Shadow the mom. Dark prank. Shadow the mom hog.

The mom hog. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. a mom hog. No, I don't. Hog mom. I don't have a hog mom. And you have an evil version, too.

My aunt, living next door to my aunt sucked. Yeah? Because there was one time where we were like young and we were getting babysat and we were like, we had like a young babysitter

and so like we were trying to like make her laugh and stuff. I know. They were trying to make her laugh. Dude, I tried to fuck every babysitter I ever had. That's not, that's not the situation.

That was, that was what happened. She was a, she was just like our family friend. She was ugly. She was ugly? You can say it. I don't know. She's a family friend. So she was ugly.

She lived with us. She lived with us for a bit, so that's why she had. You should date that girl. No, she's a total family friend. But she, like, was watching us. We were being too loud. And my aunt called us, and I thought it was my mom on the phone. Because, like, she, I guess my aunt, my aunt's a fucking bitch.

And she. You won't call the family friend ugly. But I'll call my aunt to be. on a fucking bitch so she called our house and then was like trying to like

she was like put one of them on the phone right now I need to talk to them and then she gave us the phone

and then I answered in a voice like I answered like a cowboy voice do it hi like a no cowboy

ever sounded like the sunset sasparilla cowboy from fallout okay yeah let's see that's how I answered it

and she literally I heard I put the phone down because she hung up I heard the dial tone, and within like a second of me being done with the call, my aunt opened our front door and just started screaming at us about how she had to work the next day. She does sound like a fucking bitch. And I have never liked her since she did that.

Really? Yeah. She does not respect Cowboys. She does not respect the Sunsets Asperilla Boy. I'm at peace with each of my aunts. I find all of them just great people. I would, if they weren't. My uncles, different story.

I like my uncles, but if my aunts weren't related to me, I would hate them. If aunts and uncles had to fight, uncles win. Why? Here's why, because uncles have been, uncles. Uncles will give you a beer and listen to Bob Seeger with you. Uncle's have beer, aunts have wine. Mm-hmm.

And cigarettes. And cigarettes. They have barefoot moscato and cigarettes, and they smoke them. They smoke half of a misty, and then they throw it out, and they drink too much moscato, and then you can steal their cigarettes right out of their hands during the World Series in 2014, like I did. and also half of aunts in my experience are from Peru and they're really small

yeah so I feel like that would and it's 10 times worse when your aunt is your neighbor because they because number three they steal your mail number three they steal your mail does you guys ever have this issue people stealing mail? What neighbor stealing your mail? Yeah no no I've I've mostly like lived in spots where like people can't touch my mail And that's a tactical choice. They can't even touch it.

They can't even, they can't even, they can't even fucking look at it. No. No, I've never, I mean, by accident before, but they would give it back. They never stole mail? I should do that all the time. No, I never stole men. There's this house. That's a federal offense, bud.

I only did that when I was a kid. I didn't give a fuck about the mail. I just thought it was, I was like, I'm breaking a law. Yeah, yeah, I'll too much. We would walk around this neighborhood called the North, the North Chase, yeah, North Chase. North Chase. Northside lawn.

Northside Long Beach where I grew up and we would steal people's mail. Yeah. There's this house. The mail house. And they always leave their mail. They left their mail on the yard always. And I was like Amazon.

Mail on the yard. I was like, damn. I never did it. I was like, oh, that would be mean. It is mean. My neighborhood growing up, we had just like one like little shack where they put all the mail. And one of my cousins was like staying with my aunt.

He got a, he got a blowjob in the, mail house and they had to send him home in my town when I was growing up they had one piece of mail and we all had to look at it just write different stuff over it it was completely you couldn't read it at some point there's so much white out on it yeah and then um Caleb baited it did you guys ever do ding dong ditch oh we did yeah in my we had like a small apart we had a small complex so everyone knew who everyone was and like we we had a neighbor who we called Geico because of those commercials I always feel like somebody's

watching me so we used to we used to ding dong ditch Geico's house because we called him a pedophile it was just a bunch of 10 year olds calling like a fat old man a pedophile we would ding dong ditch this one army guy and we would do it like at least twice a week and we never got caught

there was a plate he only had one eye he was like pretty young and he just only had one eye and we would like just ding dong and then run across the street and there was like a bush. Yeah, yeah. We were completely invisible.

We went, we, we, we, my uncle got drunk and took us out ding-dong ditching in, in the neighborhood where he was a member of like the board. He's on the HOA. Yeah, he was on like the homeowners. The thing is, it's such a fun thing to do. Yeah. I would do that now. Yeah, no.

We should make a ding-dong ditch vid. Yeah. Yeah. It's still funny. It's really funny. But the one time we went to, we ding-dong ditch Geico's house. Oh, so we had like, ding-dong ditched. Ditching now is everyone has the

video doorbells. They have the ring. It's fucking creepy dude. I walked down the street the other day. Yeah, no, it's so creepy though like the street I was walking down the street I grew up on they all just have video doorbells. I was like damn. Yeah. They're all watching me right now we're all jacking off. We had like

there was one night we went out so the thing about Geico was he tried to talk to me about comics once and that got my friend scared. You were like he's a pedophile. Yeah, I was like yeah he's trying to talk to a kid, he's a pedophile. And And then my friend one day he, like, drove by and then said, Stranger Danger, and he stopped the car pulled back. Like, he waved at us, and then he went, Stranger Danger, and he stopped his car, pulled back, and he went, which one of you said that?

Was it the little one? Oh, my God. And then, so, yeah, then from there on out, we were like, oh, why would you do that unless you had something to hide? Damn. And so we just, like, found out his name through the phone book. It was Geico. Yeah, it was Steve Geico. So we called him Geico or Pedophile Steve, and then we.

pretty good pretty good name number one day he left his screen door open sorry to interrupt one day he left the screen door open when we were dinged dog ditching him

and I don't remember who did it but they just went up to his door and went hey and then it ran away and scared the shit out of them it was awesome number four is they have a pet

which is obnoxiously loud that was me yeah that was probably me too beagle Australian cattle dog mix did not have a pet growing up I just had like like we had like outdoor dogs which is something like people don't really have up here

yeah but we had like outdoor dogs that were just like they weren't even like they weren't even like they were like they were no control over them my dog feels they lived in like a cage and we fed them slop yeah you know they were and they were just like we just had to there's no point in having them except just to like fucking make our neighbors despise us yeah yeah yeah they were just yell all the neighbor had like a little kid and the dogs wanted to fucking eat this kid so bad they wouldn't wanted to rip him to shreds. Dogs want to eat kids.

Yeah, when I was a kid, there was a dog that lived, like, in the house next door, and there was, like, a little fence around, like, a chain link fence. Yeah. And there was, like, a big-ass dog. And whenever I went in the yard to play, it would just, like, start freaking out and trying to jump over the fence. And it scared the shit out of me. And I stopped going outside for a while.

Dogs are scared until it moved real away. Yeah, I was so scared of dogs for most of my life because of that dog. One of my shitty neighbors, like, growing up, like, she was. at the same age as me, but she was like, I don't know, she just sucked. She has like a kid now. Nice. Yeah.

She accused. Sounds like she did more than just suck. Whoa. She fucked a pregnant. She fucked a pregnant guy. That's how you get pregnant. And caught the pregnant. Yeah.

She tried to accuse my uncle's dog of biting her. She went, you, sir, have bitten me. Yeah, no, she like came up and then, like, showed us just like a, it was like snowing out. So her hands were a little red because she wasn't wearing gloves. He's like, yeah, that red spot is where he bit me. And then my dad looked at her and went, no, and then shut the door up her face.

Damn. That was awesome. Number five, they spy on you. That sucks. Have you ever had this experience? I just told you. The video doorbells. Yeah, I guess you have that too.

I'm thinking Disturbia. Yeah. That movie with Shia LeBuff. I haven't seen it. It's like the rear window remake basically. Oh, really? It ends with it. that King's a Leon song.

Oh, well, thanks for spoiling. I just said I hadn't seen it. He watches, like, little kids jack off to porn in that movie. Yeah. Well, then he changes the TV on them or something. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty awesome, dude. That sounds cool.

Yeah, and then he watches, he tries to watch a girl get naked, which he ends up being the good guy in the movie, so. Yeah. That one does not pass the Bechdel test. Is it, um, is it, which Friday the 13th movie? Is it, is it the fifth one? Probably. Or they kills the guy for eating the chocolate bar.

Ah, no. Oh, which one is it? Is the, where the kid is, uh, the little kid is looking, is looking out the window at a girl getting changed. And he sees her boobies and then, but then he starts freaking, he starts jumping around his bed and like hitting pillows and going like, oh, for like no, it's really weird. And he starts ramming his head into the wall. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's called no fab, buddy. Look into it.

Yeah. You build up rage because the testosterone is stuck in your. Somebody find that scene and send it to Caleb. No, send it to camera. No, Caleb loves that scene. My military roommate did believe that in community college. He believed Disturbia was a real movie? No, he believed that if you don't jack off, you become alpha male.

It changes your, dude, it changes your center balance. It does change your hormones, so it's true. Your balls get too filled up. You get, change your center of balance, lower center of gravity. You can tackle people easier. You're taking them to the ground, my God, vertical loop. Two shots to the fucking head. I will say, Muhammad, Osmond,

Ali did not have sex before fights. Yeah. You know, there's something to that. Yeah. Listen, if it worked for Muhammad Ali, it'll work for me. That's all I'm saying. Cash is clay. Catch this clay.

Catch this clay. Caleb Clay. I'm remembering a neighbor that I had that, because we had like one of the neighborhoods I lived, I moved, I moved like 19 times before I moved to Boston. I just like moved every year growing up. And one of the places we live... Because you're 19 years old. Because I'm 19.

years old and one of the places we lived had uh like a tiny pool in the middle of the thing and the people who lived there were so crazy about like like making sure people who were using the pool belonged to the neighborhood yeah and because like half of it was just like a normal like shitty houses north carolina neighborhood but then the other hat the back half was like these huge fucking houses yeah it was like a brand new development they were just like saving or they were sharing the pool with us yeah and so these people like we would go and a lot of times people would like ask us like where we live and stuff and there's this one guy who would always like kind of look at us when we were in the pool he lived across the street

and one time he came in and he was like I know you kids don't fucking live in this neighborhood and I was like yeah I do bitch and I was like 14 and just talked so much shit to this guy just kept calling him a homo like just was fucking just ribbing him just like making fun him for looking goofy he it was I was just it was fun because I knew I had it in my back pocket like I live in this neighborhood. And I kept telling him like, please call the cops. Please call the cops. He was like, he just like hassled us until I was like, all right, we're leaving, man. And he's like, good. I'm following you home. And this dude followed us home back to my house. And he was like, oh, this is your house? And I was like, yep, it's my house. And he's like, fine, walk in. And then I walked up to it. And I used my key. And I walked in. And I was like, come here, man. I want you to meet my parents. And then he talked to my mom and dad for a long time and he was just like, yeah, man, I'm like the biggest asshole

in the world, aren't I? It was so nice. That's a good, that's a good feeling. It was the best feeling. My aunt's, my other aunt who lived in the neighborhood, she was the person. She was that guy. She was a guy?

An aunt that was that guy? No, my aunt would like, like, if kids, like, in the neighborhood had their friends over, she was like, yeah, you're only allowed to have like five guests per house. Not just making up fucking rules? Yeah, she's just making up Yeah, she didn't even...

Yeah, it was fucking stupid. No, my aunts suck. I hate my aunts. That rugs, dude. What the hell? Five guys. Yeah, no, just some arbitrary rule that she would... You cannot have friend groups bigger than three in this neighborhood.

Just some stupid arbitrary rule like that to pull out, like, when she doesn't like a neighbor. Uh, uh, no laughing on Tuesdays, guys. You cannot bring sandwiches to the pool. Sorry, it's what it says. Yep. it says in my brain I made a book I wrote a book in my mind

is that you can't ever make me mad so and yeah hanging having more than five guests that makes me mad I'm seriously getting I'm hulking out right now even thinking about

I'm bulking up I'm bulking up to kill you to be the defender the bouncer of the neighborhood number six they throw too many parties that was also my family yeah I used to live next to this guy I think his name was Asher Roth

and he would just throw these fucking buck wild parties He loved drinking He loved women And he loved college Yeah yeah He went to the University of North Carolina

Next door And he just got loved college This is the description Of this one This is a weird item And it seems like it doesn't belong here It makes the neighbors seem very popular

But I tend to avoid parties For good reasons And there could be some shady stuff going on in them. Shady stuff at the party. They are playing with a pinata. They are having too many guests in the house.

Yeah, they have more than five guests at the pool. I heard that people are taking turns in the bathroom. They're all using the same bowl for chips. No more than five people in the bathroom at any point. Hey, no more than three chips in a bowl at one time. Hey. One bite per minute. You can chew once per minute.

You get three. ounces of dip okay and I'm measuring it yeah one glass of water per night you get one glass of water on your bedside table you get one glass of milk under your bed one kind of long poop every two days that's fair no black pants get out she says she cuts you from the neighborhood she sends you home you're not wearing the right thing yeah where do I go to work you have to live at work now and you get And your boss is like, oh, we already have five guests at work. Another thing I just remembered.

It was either her or my mom kicked the ice cream man out of the neighborhood. Oh, damn. Whoa, that's cold. I will say very unpopular mood with kids. No, I was the fucking kid of the, you were the pariah. Yeah, I was a pariah because they would kick the fucking ice cream man out. I don't know what to tell you. You see that side?

No soliciting. No square cars. No music outdoors. They kicked the. good ice cream man out. The one who would sell you poppers if you asked him. Damn. Not like... Not those poppers. It's so weird. They kicked out the

ice cream man who was selling all the kids' poppers. Fucking bitch. I meant pop-its. Pop-its. Yeah. He was like, I got fireworks. He had pop-its on the low? He'd sell you the bed, the little, like, the box. He'd sell it to you for 75 cents. Cheaper than the ice cream.

Yeah, you don't eat it. He did. He did. He did break the rule, though. Those are like a dollar. Or like, they're probably more. It's like three bucks a pack. So you're telling me, there was an ice cream man who sold you fireworks at a loss that your mom kicked out of the neighborhood. Well, yeah,

he was selling cold food. That's against the rule. No cold food in the neighborhood. Hot food only. Yeah. Warm meals. Yeah. You want a chaco taco? There better be some chorizo in that bitch. She kicked him out and then she said, she kicked him out and then also said that he was a drug dealer and a pedophile. Oh. Yeah. I see.

Yeah. And that's another training rule. No drug dealers or pedophiles in the neighborhood. Yeah, equal punishment. She said kid catcher. There can be only five drug dealers and five pedophiles. She did not say pedophiles. Sorry, we have five pedophiles already. I'm going to have to ask you to get out of here. She didn't say pedophile. She said kid catcher. And then I told all the other kids that people know what that means. And I told all the kids that the ice cream man was a kid catcher. But I thought he was your homie. Now you're now you're switching sides, dude. Yeah, more like Patrick Tomo. Well, I, well, you get brainwomen. As a kid.

Yeah, you got brain washed from that guy, all right. More like you got brain-freezed by the next one's my favorite one on this list. They live completely alone. Yeah, okay, read it. Go ahead. I did. It was my favorite. You have to actually say it.

Number seven, they live completely alone. You may not think that a neighbor is bad because of this, but think about it. The neighbor in question does not have a spouse, a kid, or a pet, and is completely alone. Something is amiss with this kind of neighbor if they, are alone all the time. What it is is anyone's guess. I think it's normal to be alone. I think it's not normal. It's terrifying

and awful. I don't remember this guy lived alone, but his name was Dick. And one day, we had our screen door open, and we were... Dick who is alone. Dick who is alone. Alone, Dick. And Dick came up to her. We had our screen door open, and we were inside playing, and we were playing too loud. And Dick came up and said he was going to call the police on us for disturbing the peace.

And I wasn't allowed to have a sleepover that night. And you're like, hey listen up dick i'm going to disturb your peace if you know what i'm talking about i would just said you want to talk about peace buddy you realize we've been in iraq it's 1999 how about we disturb that piece dick died like two months later and when my mom told me i was like good he fucking he ruined my play date i did that with my grandpa when i was a kid i had like a like a mean old grandpa uh uh i just like hated him growing up and i was maybe like six when he died and like my mom and my grandma where they were both like crying in my house and I went up to him and I was like, what the hell are you crying? I thought we all hated that guy. Yeah, damn.

I had great emotional intelligence as a child. Oh, I had a terror. I, uh, when my great aunt Kathy died, um, we were waiting on the stairs on Easter because she died on east, the night before Easter morning. And, uh, I was like, when do we get candy? Are we doing like a moment of silence right now? And my uncle Paul freaked the fuck out on me. He did a Paul flip. Yeah, he was living with us at that time. All my uncles lived with us. Yeah, he was livid with us.

I just want to skip to number nine. We'll just do number nine is the last one. They play a lot of loud noises from their home. Just monkey noises. Yeah. Just the intro to head like a hole. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

So they play samples. Why do you keep playing? It's like white noise. It's how I sleep. It's jungle noises. They play last. jungle noises. I'm from the jungle. I'm a monkey.

I have to... This is like white noise to me. This is my house. This is what my house sounds like. What about a monkey that goes... What about a monkey that... Think about that. What about a monkey that can spell? Well, they can do that, I'm sure. Nobody's asked them yet.

The thing is, we haven't learned their language. I'm going to learn your language, pal, if you don't shut the fuck up. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm going to teach you some language. I'm going to teach you my personal love language. F-C-K, A-S-S-S, P-U-S-S-Y, P-U-S-S-Y, P-U-S-Y, K-K. You know, he's coming to Boston. Pussy C-K.

Yeah, Pussy C-K. That would solve so much if he just came up on stage in a pussy hat and he was like, ah, my daughters are old now? What if he got a pussy installed into his chest like Iron Man? Like videodrome? Yeah, that'd be kind of funny. it. Yeah.

See, but now that, no, that would lose people again. Okay, but it's a pink gun. That's pretty nice. And it's pink for breast cancer. Oh,

Susan G. Coleman? That was perfect. Susan G. Coleman and it's Susan Gary Coleman. He's behind Save the Ta-Tas. He wasn't even talking about breast cancer. He just said that one day. And then everyone was like,

Gary, you fucking genius. Gary, what was your first name again? Susan Susan Gary Coleman Susan Gary Coleman She's in Postal 2 That's so weird Gary Coleman is a big plot

Point of Postal 2 The movie or the game Is there a movie? I've only ever played Postal 2 To just run around and shoot stuff You put the cat You put the cheats in to get all the guns And then you put the cats on the end of the shotgun

Yeah I've never just like played it like a game They came out with the sequel to Postal 2. It's like Postal like Apocalypse Weekend or something like that. Like they came out with it like recently. Yeah, I saw that. Milo Yiannopoulos does a voice. Yeah. I'm going to have to check this out.

I have it. I didn't realize. Yeah, I didn't realize I had it when I bought Postal 2. Oh, damn. I was one of the first games I ever torrented. Postal 2? Yeah. It's not a bad game.

That was when I was like, oh, you can just pirate any game and they don't have any DRM. Yeah, but like, some. Sometimes, like, ISPs will hit you. I got hit for Sniper Elite V2. I got hit for Saints Row 2. That's not been worth it yet, because I just download... I had it on Xbox. I didn't need it.

Random shitty old movies and, like, Digimon and shit. Stuff that nobody checked. Exactly. Like, a 700. Like, I'm sure if you download, yeah, like, the stuff that just came out. Like, if I download uncut gems right now. Yeah. I downloaded, like, a 700 megabyte file of the abominable Dr. Fibes in middle school.

and my mom like almost lost her shit on me because my for some reason my mom thought you couldn't get caught downloading music or but if you downloaded movies on LimeWire that's what got you I don't think people got hit with LimeWire as much

no yeah no you could download any MP3 you want I mean we got it was kind of before they knew how to track it yeah we got our final the nail in the fucking coffin the thing that we weren't allowed to torrent anything ever again like my parents

parents were like, we're going to check the computer, was my little brother downloaded TioCruz dynamite.mite.mp3 on U.Torrent. Oh, God. And that's what got us. Jesus Christ. Yeah. You got all that for Tio Cruz.

Oh, my God. All that for dynamite. Oh, my God. No, I had such, like, a good, like, library of torrented shit. Uh-huh. And it's all gone now, too, because my parents made us delete some of it. God, damn.

Like, I had every, like, David Bowie and Sonic Youth's, like, entire discography. I'd like, I fucked up my parents' computer, which is downloading just full albums. Fuck, yeah. That, like, Primus's whole discography, the soundtrack to the hangover. I thought that song, the Primus song, My Name is Mud. I thought it was, my name is Butt for so long about this. Okay.

I just wanted to double check. My name is But. My name is butt. Not to be confused with the birds there is that son of a bitch. Not to be confused with mud. My name is butt. What was the last one? We definitely did that last time.

Did we do this? Christopher Good, yeah. Yeah, we did this. I mean, we recorded. Oh, yeah, we did this. All right, so there's this then. All right. There's the last one.

Yo, shout out to Tom. Yeah, thanks, Tom. Tom. Nathaniel. Shout out to Nathaniel Smith. Thank you. Drew Mascherelli. These are our patrons, by the way,

that weren't shouting out. That's subscribe to us on Patreon. We'll say what's up to the real homies. Uh-huh. You are a real homie. Drew, Master Mascarelli. Sarah v. Ramirez.

Thank you, Sarah V. Ramirez. Sarah very, very much. Thank you, Ramirez. Jack Philbin. Thank you, Jack Philbin. Love your dad's work. Rejase. Regis.

Rejice, Philbin, and it's one of the regisies from Pokemon. How about Reggie Philbin, and he smokes at Reggie? Uh-huh. He smokes at shit. He smokes at She smokes at Reggie shit. Sam Dave.

Thank you, Sam Davis. Ryan Mock. Ryan Mock. Thank you. Yeah. We're just butchering your last name, Ryan. Ryan, Ryan Mock. And thank you to service at PayPal.com for your transfer was successful.

Yeah. We transferred our PayPal. We got some money from PayPal. And let's take a look at the promotions folder. We got SIGSauer ammo, ammo, 45 auto. We can buy in bulk on. six hour ammunition and save. We should just spend all the pod money on ammo.

We should get a gun. We just stock up ammo, send it all to Neal's place. Yeah. And then just let the car, let the fucking dice roll as they may. Yeah. Let the cookies blow up. Let the cookies fall as they will. Let the cards drop as a must.

Let the cards fall in the milk. Yeah. Uh-oh. Uh-huh. We're going to, yeah, you're in trouble, buddy. Let the cards go in the milk. Let the cards go in the milk. One, something's on my milk.

Two, something's on my milk. Three, something's on my milk. Let the cards go in my milk. Okay, bye.