Podcast About List - Ep. 93 - Podcast at da End of da World Part 4/4

Episode Date: March 25, 2020

this is the 4th and final part of the 4-hour recording session we did on saint patricks day. you can listen to it standalone but to get the full story you gotta subscribe to the patreon for parts 1 and 3 player. check it out at www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Podcasts to the model list. Every crap monster. It's actually been a couple minutes since we stopped recording the last one, so I did have to remember. We're talking about veggie tails. Yeah, we're talking about veggie tales. Kick it off.

If you listen to the last premium, we ended it on about Veggie Tales. And if you didn't listen to it, you should subscribe. Yeah, it really is like these four episodes that we record today, will it's kind of a whole it's kind of a saga you have to listen to them all in a row it's kind of like when you listen to like the album version of like an m&m song and then there's a skit before it that cross fades into the song yeah and then you get like the kind of like the last like couple seconds of the skit yeah like and then you're like yeah and then you're like yeah and then you're like oh i wonder what that's from and then it makes sense when you

listen to the skit basically that's what you got to do if you are you're not if you're not a Patreon subscriber. It's like watching the second and fourth Harry Potter's and not the first and third. It's like watching Harry Potter. You're going to be like, what the hell? Hermione got hot too fast. It's like watching Harry Potter but with your one eye closed.

Impossible to understand. Right, so we were talking about Veggie Tales. There's a character in Jonah, a Vegytales movie. Did you guys watch just the movies or did you watch the show? Oh, I've seen basically every piece of

I've seen most of the episodes. I think I saw all of it. Like 2006. You didn't see the Jonah movie? I don't think I saw the Jonah movie. You didn't see the pirates? I saw the one with the walls of Jericho. Yeah.

Oh yeah, I saw them. I heard the song for that one. You didn't see the movie though? I saw Larry Boy and the Pirates who don't do anything. They had a son. So I had the Larry Boy car at the action figure. Whoa. Yeah.

Pirates who don't do anything was basically like the night at the Roxbury of Larry or of Veggie Tales. where, like, it was a sketch on Veggie Tales, and then they kicked it off into its own thing. Yeah. Oh, then I saw the sketch. Yeah, you've definitely seen the sketch. I saw the sketch, but the only movie I saw was Larry Boy and the Big Fib. Pirates who don't do anything was the first,

the first Veggie Tales, like, thing that was not about God. Oh, Larry Boy and the rumor weed. Oh, rumor weed is a really good one, yeah. And I had the action figure. I had the action figure of Larry Boy in his car. Yeah. I wanted to fuck the girl. Squash.

Every movie that I ever watched growing up, I wanted to have sex with something in the movie. Yeah. Brave little toaster. The Toaster. This might be the one that I had. Finding Nemo. The Nemo. Oh, shit.

I had this, too. No, I wanted to fuck, in Finding Nemo, I wanted to fuck the Starfish. This toy. Oh, yeah, I had that too. Yeah, and then. Pull up the character you were reading about. Oh, okay. Hold on, I got to find the car that I had.

He has to find his car. I got to find his car. Sorry, he has to go on Google. find a car. This is good drive to Google. Nice. Actually, I had a lot of, I had a lot of veggie tales toys when I was a kid. I had no idea it had anything

to do with God. Yeah, I didn't know it was a God thing either when I was a kid. Yeah, I thought it was just like, oh, these are just funny characters. You know the song? You know the song? It's like, keep walking. Yeah. But you won't knock down our wall. That's not rocks, dude. That's about them finding Yeah, it's the walls of Jericho. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. The peas or the

Oh, so. Yeah. So, there was a character I never saw it. I just remember seeing him on the DVD cover. But there's a character named Khalil and Jonah. He's from Jonah. Yeah.

He's the... He's a little blue worm with a turban and a big, thick mustache. I love him. Then he says, hello, my friend.

Yeah, he says my friend a lot. It says his appearance... Khalil has an Indian accent. He is a blue caterpillar. Just... I love... Something I love about that Jonah movie

is like he finds Sodom and Gomorrah and they're like... He does? Yeah, that's the... It's the story of Jonah. So he finds Sodom and Gomorrah, and he goes, and they're, like, everybody there, basically, they're analog for, like, gay sex, because that's the whole thing in the Bible, is, like, Sodom and Gomorrah, they love drinking slushies. Oh, my God. They love slushies.

They love purple slushies, and they suck on them. And it's just a bunch of, like, little, there's a bunch of peas running around sucking on slushies. God damn, dude. And so they get killed for that? Yeah, well, I don't actually remember what he does. I don't think they... Oh, no, yeah, the place explodes. Yeah, God explodes it.

God fucking goes Nagasaki on the place where they have too many slushies and they like candy too much. Oh, my God. There's a piece of trivia here, though, for Khalil from Veggie Tales. Also, funny that he, that's like the only, like, name in that entire show that is not like... Yeah, it's not Larry. Like, whatever the vegetable.

Yeah. Like, there's a worm. Kaleel de Worme. Oh, yeah, Khalil. The only person with like a vaguely, like, a vaguely like Middle Eastern name, they make a worm. Well, so here's a piece of trivia. Oh, my God.

With a giant nose, by the way. Look at these fucking, yeah. These JPEGs are awful. But he's a worm with a big giant. He looks like big day. Let him read the trip. Let him read the truth. It says here, due to his ethnicity, an online review for Joe,

a veggie tale's movie went as far as pointing out the fact that Khalil's involvement in the film was written prior to 9-11 true just imagine because Kalil is the one who's like who's like God because he's Jonah's like I can't like I don't care about going to Saddam and Khalil's like no God has to destroy it and then he blows it up okay so there's There's a picture here of K-Lil. Yeah, who's a rap, Khalil.

Yeah, but then there is one of salesman Khalil, which is somebody just went into Microsoft Paint and made him orange. Damn. Also, worms don't have legs. Yeah. Caterpillar. But why is he a worm? He's a caterpillar.

Oh. Khalil de Worm. Kalea the Caterpillar and Jamal de Worm. Yeah. Brothers and best friends. And enemies. And best enemies. Yeah, best enemies.

yeah rivals competitors and best lovers and when your idols become your rivals when you fuck each other in a circle greater than greater than greater than son when your brother is also your rival when your brother's also your wife when your brother and wife are the same person when your brother is also this is how I'm trying to be your brother's your wife your mom and you go to the store when all your family members are one person in the carriage yeah yeah when you get to sit in the race car carriage and you get to fuck your boyfriend. This is how I'm trying to be. Spring break forever and your mom lets you ride in shotgun in the car.

Yep. And you smoke a blunt with your dog. No, you don't fucking... You smoke a blunt with your dog. Do you ever have a... You ever hang out with someone who smoked weed at their dog? My mom. I think so, but not off the top of my head.

I definitely know people who would do that. Someone I hung out with and then like two weeks later. Yeah, yeah, shaggy. Yeah. I remember seeing somebody who used to just blow weed smoke in their dog's face and then I just stopped hanging out. What I, the way to do it is you have to blow it perfectly into a bone and then they'll eat it. A bone cloud, yeah.

And they, they can't help themselves, dude. They go cuckoo for bones. Yeah. But it's just so funny, like, seeing that dog just how, like, I was like, oh, this is, like, the calmest, like, chillest dog I've ever seen. And then, like, two weeks later, seeing them just blow weed smoke and the dog's, like, brain damage. Yeah, oh, yeah, no, they're just making them sick. Yeah. Yeah, weed is not good for dogs.

No, it's not. It makes dogs, like, depressed. Yeah. I feel like dogs are... Every dog I know is depressed. That's true. My dog is not depressed. She's, uh, anxious.

She's, uh... Yeah, she's... My dog Charlie... We've just been, like, fucking inbreeding animals forever, and we're, like, surprised that they have, like, all of them have anxiety and cancer. No, I'm not surprised. My dog... My dog...

Yeah, they're all... I mean, they're all... Dude, he's awesome. He's a golden doodle. He's stupidest shit. He's the happiest dog in the world. Golden retrievers, they just built, like, the biggest stupid. stupidest dog they do it is funny these dogs are just retarded wolves yeah a million

they're like yeah yeah they're just like not smart enough to kill us yeah like they never except for pit bulls are smart and strong that's why they're dangerous dude i used to have a pit bull i love pit bulls that's it's like it's like my favorite kind of dog she we had to give her away but like she like girl ones are horny dude yeah yeah she used to like she was like a fucking meatball yeah i used to wake up she was like a like she was so huge and like her leg like she was a Meatball? I thought she was a doll. She was like...

She's bulbous. She's bulbous. She was buff as shit. And it was just so hard because she was... Every time she saw me, it was like... She was too excited to see me. Oh, yeah. You live with a female pit bull.

You wake up every day. It's sitting on your face trying to get you to eat its pussy. That's how horny the dog is. You know, some people wake up to their dog licking them. Yeah. If you have a female pit bull... You're licking the dog. It's a different pair of lips on you.

Oh, my God. Sorry. Yeah, I had a dream. I was eating ravioli. And I woke up. I woke up and I was eating my dog's pussy. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God.

That's disgusting. That is disgusting. It's delicious. Yeah. The dream I was in the finest Italian restaurant being ravioli. I woke up and still taste exactly like ravioli. Fido, what are you doing? The girl dog is Fido.

Come on it. Fido's a gent. I didn't care. What's a girl dog name? I don't even know. Rose. Sarah. Sarah. Mrs. Jennifer. Mrs. She's all that. Mrs. Fido. This is my dog. Mrs. She's all that. Fido. Fidelette. Fidelette. Fiddecio. Medea. This is my pit bull named Medea. I wake up every morning to her sticking her giant pussy on my face. Jesus. yeah yeah that's how they kill you dude that's how they're dangerous and the they're bread their bread they're they're uh the male ones are fighters but the girl ones are fuckers dude they'll get you they would get you dude that is always funny when like a

like a female dog will like hump you just like you fucking idiot the girl ones have lesbian competitions and underground rings they do yeah yeah a bunch of like yeah a bunch of like Butch lesbians just betting on Making their dogs fuck each other That's what Michael Vick thought he was doing Yeah Yeah You thought you just have a

My dog has the stinkiest squunch Drop it on your dog and kill it Jesus, what a way to start an episode Yeah, my dog and her poison pussy will Will win She's a prize fighter Yeah man It's disgusting

I don't want to talk about this anymore It's funny It's so gross Dude it's so gross What dog pussy? Yeah Why that's the problem with that Pussy's pussy man

Like Snoop Dog says pussy is pussy And baby you're pussy for life He says that He says that in Acon I want to fuck you That's the end of his verses He says Because pussy is pussy is pussy and baby your pussy for life yeah it's so funny finding out that song was called i want to fuck you

i that is a song where like the it comes on the radio and you're like that sounds normal but then if you like try to listen to it on spotify or whatever just the the i want to fuck you version comes up and it sounds insane it sounds it's like a dirt it's like a rucka rucka ali version yeah it sounds like a parody yeah yeah i want to fuck you what a terrible hook yeah i want to fuck That's like when they changed, let's get it started. I want to love you. That's like when they changed, let's get retarded to let's get it started. Yeah, it's like, you go back, yeah, I remember hearing that the old version of the

first time and just being like, what the fuck? Yeah, it was in SSX tricky. I remember it was on my parents. It was on my, the original version was on my parents' iPod. And I was like, what are they listening to? What is this? An elefunk. Dude, it's so the fucking, the line he says before, get stupid.

Yeah. That's so fucking. Crazy. Yeah. Get stupid. Wear a helmet. Living home with your parents till you're 50.

Die young. Damn. Yeah, dude. Oh, man. Dude, it's so funny. The only reason that they changed the lyrics was because the NBA

wanted to use it in their commercials. Yeah. They would, if the NBA didn't want to use that song, that's the only version of the song we'd have. God, there would be no Shakira. Yeah.

Or not Shakira. There'd be no Fergie. They're the same in my head. Shakira O'Neill. Whoa. Shakira O'Neill. Basketball don't lie. Ball don't lie, Shakira O'Neill.

Oh, baby, when you hoop like that, you make Will Chamberlain go mad. Whoa. Yeah. And then it still has White Clef on it. But his name is White Clef Basketball. White Clef basketball shorts instead of White Clef's jeans. Oh. that's good

Wow You know Didn't Whitecliffe Like steal all the money From Haiti? Yeah That's a fucking boss move I'm gonna dunk a basketball

Into his asshole Who was the third guy in the Fugis It was Lauren Hill Wycleff And then the other guy And he had the song From Bullworth It's the song from Bullworth

And Old Dirty Bastard has a feature We've talked about Bullworth And just how fucking stupid Yeah we did talk about Bullworth already Do you remember when Nas had the firm No, which was like his version of the fujis. The firm was a skateboard company.

That's all I know. The firm was like, it was him and a girl and a guy and another guy. And they were just pretending to be the Fugis for a while. Fugis rocks, man. Yeah, Fujis are good. Yeah, that one Fugis album is really good. But yeah, I don't know who the other guy is that isn't Whitecliffe. Yeah.

Yeah. He had this song in the... It's Apple D. Appled the app from the blackhead piece. Yeah. But the whole song is about him being president and then ODB. ODB's versus just like him just being ODB. I love that black eyed peas is

just, it's Fergie, what's his name, Will I Am, and then like two robots. Taboo and Apple Diab. Yeah, it's one of the twins from the Matrix. It's the dark version of the Matrix

twin. Yeah. Yeah, it fucking rocks, man. They make good music, man. I got a feeling such a great music video the idea that time would stop I have to

feeling I have to feel you that was the original one yeah the original one was I am retarded yeah just every black eyed piece song they bring it in every single time the record producer is like can we just not

why do you change it writing that it's funny look we made parody songs before you put We just wanted, we wanted to have our own my balona. We wanted to have our own eat it. That's why we're called the Black Eyed Peas.

We want to write food-based parody songs. Yeah, they were like the lonely island at first, but just all their stuff was, yeah. Got to get that poop, poop, poop. Yeah. That poop, poop crap. They had a... I got that down syndrome. Yeah.

is the love was originally where is the bud and it was a smoker's anthem yeah that one's not true where is the cud and it's yeah it's about a cow's tongue yeah where is the cut man that's the

funny I did just every black-eyed piece song is just abelous before it hits the radio yeah yeah hmm ooh you're so 2000

late my IQ is eight Yeah You're so Developmentally late Oh, that's good Yeah

Yeah Oh, there you go I can't remember Is this a Are we doing a list on this? Yeah, we're doing a list on this one Should I pull it up? Yeah, you just have nickel back

How you remind me up right now Just play that, let's listen to that For the rest of the episode You remind me of who is on the In my house mind me of my cousin uncle and my uncle You remind me of all my best friends now That's a song about you guys

All my best friends Yeah Is this one? Someone said this in the Discord Let me just figure out I'll say it before I'll say it again Join the Discord Come hang out

We're doing during Since everybody's locked in their house We're doing game nights We're playing Jackbox Because Jackbox it never gets old It only gets new There's a Minecraft server where me and Cameron and Patrick have a tent.

I don't have Minecraft on my computer. There's a big SpongeBob. There's a... You know, whenever they just do a little bit of a cop... It sounds like the guns on Nabu. Yeah, it sounds like a laser beam. It sounds like the Nabu guns. And I get scared.

The ones where she... It shoots the balls. Padmey pulls them out of the chair that she has hidden. Yeah. What a girl boss, Padman. She had guns. Did they shoot boogers at the... No, they just had...

green bullets. No, those big balls. Oh, the Gung-Gung-G-G-G-Gun? Yeah, the Gung-Gun's? Yeah, the Gung-Gungs. They shot, it was like an electro ball. It looked like a booger to me. This was listed... But I have a dirty mind. This list was sent by Mumble crap in the Discord. Mumble Crap. Yeah, we do have a, we have a channel where you can just send lists and we'll... We're picking stuff from that. Yeah, you know. You don't have to do the work anymore. You work for us, you pigs.

It's so hard to find a little. We did use up a lot of stuff. A lot of good content. We've been doing this for a while. Dude, I wonder if we're going to hit 100 while we're in quarantine. Oh, dude. We don't have anything planned. By the time this comes out, it'll be 95.

Yeah. I don't think 95 yet. Maybe. Yeah. I think our last one was 91. Yeah, our last one was 91. I'll fly up. I'll fly up for the...

If this last one was 91... Don't fly up. Drive up. Don't fly up. It's way more expensive to drive. Yeah, it's way more expensive to drive. but you have less risk of getting corona. I don't care.

I'm badass. I'm not going to do it with you if you get on a plane. I'm Determinator. I'm the Determinator. I determine who has Corona. Yeah. Corona. Corona.

You guys built to have it. You just pointed it behind me. Yeah. There's a guy behind you. He's about to infect you. Look out. Oh, it's you. Oh, no.

Yeah. This one is top ten things to sell in school. No, we don't. You have a cat. Get the fucking cat off the money. mike now got some stuff to say wait he's purring it to the mic

he's purring it to the mic sh he stopped he stopped the microphone you made him stop we should get a dog we should get a podcast dog that lives in the internet yes let's get a virtual dog we could get one of those little ones that do backflips oh it's purring

it he has a name yeah what's his name Leonard fucking bitch I've not called him Leonard, like, since I got him. I like him more if I call him Leonard. Yeah. The fact that you gave him, like, an eight-year-old's name for an animal, I think.

Well, no, because he's a fuck. Puts me off. They're both fuckers. An eight-year-old wouldn't be allowed to name it's pet fucker. Called the fudger. Call him super fudge. My dog, when we adopted her, her original name was fudge. We changed it.

I don't know why a dog. I feel like that I'd name a dog fudge. I'd laugh at it for a day, and then I'd be like, Yeah, can you imagine Yeah, yelling that across the playground. Fudge! Fudge! My dad, when, like, my childhood dog

was named Amigo, and the way that he named the dog was like, he was going to open up, he just opened up like a... The dictionary to page one. He opened up a Spanish-English dictionary and just like, it was like, I'm going to do,

because that's how he named me and my brothers was he just opened up the Bible and, like, picked a random page. Oh, my God. And landed on Caleb, Josh, and Levi. And he was like, I'm going to do the same thing for the dog, but in Spanish but the first one

that he landed on was like Spanish for lunch or something and he's like I'm gonna just go an amigo that'd be so funny

if he just picked out like the Spanish word for pedophile yeah yes I have to my dog's name is burrito

my dog's name is El pedophilio yeah yeah and it's really obvious too yeah it's just one of those words

where they just El kitty did yeah one of those words were Spanish people they just didn't me try

El rapisto rapisto All right, so these are things to sell in school Yeah Number one, Knifes Knifes Yeah, knives That shit, I'm

Called the freaking grammar police I tried to be a knife kid for a little bit But they're so expensive I try to be a knife kid If you buy a knife you have to bring your parent Because like a pawn shop won't sell it to you I had a wait listen to this comment real quick If you haven't sold a knife

Or had one sold to you By your sophomore year Then you're probably the same kind of person who wears overalls. Fucking own, dude. Put him in that is scathing. You guys wear overalls in high school? No, are you guys overalls kids?

You probably were, right? Oh, I did. I knew it. Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, no, I would, I wore like a, uh, I wore like packs on. All I wore. Yeah, I was like a new balance. Yeah.

All I wore was like, uh, converse and dickies and overalls and shit. Yeah, I was just a whatever was at the top of my drawer and then new balance sneakers. I was like graphic teas and like, and, like skinny chinos until me and Janice started dating and she made me dress like a like a gay guy and here I am I yeah I've dressed the same my whole like since I turned 16 you have a good style going on though you know you you well it's being like skating makes you like people care about like clothes and skate that's true like I just was like I care about pants more than I think I should everyone that I knew just like RuneScape and so we I just would wear like a like a

Vulcan t-shirt. I know a good pair of pants when I see him. What's what do you got? I like these ones. Oh, these Dickies, the, uh,

double-k's feet. These look, they look like Shrek's pants. Mm-hmm. But, you know, I like them. You know the texture of Shrek's pants? You know he has like scales

on his pants? Yeah. It just sticks in my head. It's like, it's like snake skin. Yeah, when I imagine Shrek, I just think about the texture of his clothing.

That's one of the first things that sticks out to me in my mind. I just stitch these back together. I'm going to stitch you back together. I'm going to stitch your asshole shut. You're going to try poop. Go up like a balloon, pop. That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, I'm going to... Do you ever pee in a balloon and throw it at someone? No. No, but I made homemade stink bombs with my friend and we put our shit in them and then piss in them. I did that. Just with, like, spices from the cabinet. And then we threw him at his school.

I did it with piss and not shit. Piss and not shit? Yeah, they're terrible stink bombs. I don't, I mean, just like... I mean, it's just a gross liquid. Yeah, but it doesn't, like, make everything smell bad. Yeah. We just threw it at, like, the windows of his school one day.

like on a Sunday because he lived right he lived in like there's like a wood barrier of like forest between his school and his best backyard so we just like spent all day making these stinky stink bombs that are I mean just shit and piss in a bag yeah just like threw it at his school that's pretty sick yeah man I did that in Montana I don't remember what we did with it now he's a fisherman I would Montana Montana I've been a montana he's a fisherman I used to fish when I was a kid fishing is fucking sick. It's great. Yeah. We should go on a fishing trip. Yeah. Dude, dude, you guys should have come fishing with me and Ryan. I was at work. Oh, yeah. You were at work.

Cameron had no excuse. Cameron could have come. Cameron hates fishing. I don't remember what I was doing. Yeah, I don't remember what you were doing either. I was at work, man. I would love to go fishing. Yeah, I went fishing in MacArthur Park. Didn't, isn't what's his name good? I think I was just sick. I think I was feeling very sick when you went fishing. I think I rested. Oh, yeah. We were, we were waiting for the Thanos copy. to charge. Because I remember that weekend, we just ate like utter shit.

Oh, yes. I was on my food tour. I was on my L.A. food tour. Cameron has a weak has a weak body. I do have a week. Cameron eating Jollybee was the worst thing he could have ever done.

Yeah. It'll take you down. It did ruin me. I mean, I don't eat healthy, but I don't eat like that crazy. I don't eat like fried chicken. I was prepared for that. Yeah.

Yeah. Patrick was eating lead for two weeks. Just a stomach lining. yeah i mean but also you again as we said i guess at this point a week and a half ago or whatever that patrick you've just you've eaten so much crazy shit in your life that you're just immune dude yeah i feel like when i do get sick i feel like if i shot a bullet at you your body would would absorb it like a bullet but if you tried to poison my food i would survive yeah like a king yep like a king like an unreal septum baby kings the whole point is they don't survive that's So they have the poison tester.

No, the kings survive. The poison testers, King Cooper. King Cooper never got poisoned. He did. What did he get poisoned by Mario's fists? Not a poison is fire. Not a poison. All right.

We didn't even talk about knives. I don't go fuck about nine. This is a great idea so we can kill the teacher or commit suicide. Whoa. 31 up vote. Yeah. Dude, I try, I had a knife for a little bit, but that And it got, you know, like when a salt lamp gets sweaty?

No. If it gets too humid in a room of salt lamp, start like... Melting sort of. Yeah, melting a little bit. And my knife was next to my salt lamp, and it rusted shut. Oh, damn. Yeah. That sucks.

My knife that said dad on it. Yeah, I've had various times. I used to have a knife. I got you to buy a knife. I inspired you to buy a knife. Oh, I forgot you had a knife. Did you still keep it on you? No.

No, you always have it. I kept it on me for a while because there was a bottle opener too. True. Oh, damn. Yeah. That's what's up. Then I stopped.

I couldn't, I didn't, like, couldn't bring it on a plane to L.A. or something. So I just, it's still my drawer right now. I should probably start carrying it again. It's a nice to have a knife on you. Yeah. My older brother used to have,

he had butterfly knives. Ooh. That's sick. That's dumb. I think Dom, I think Dom used to... Hemp, dude. So cool. Dom used to be able to do tricks of butterfly knives.

What? That shit's so awesome. It's funny that you, like, You just fucking chop your fingers off. Yeah. And people like spy from TF2. Yeah, exactly. Like spy from TF2.

I saw that in that game and then the next day I looked up butterfly knife prices. Listen to this comment. I want knives so we can do whatever we want and threaten the teachers to do things for us. Also so we can bring protection from people who break into our school. But mainly the first thing about threatening the teachers. Fuck. This is a horrible idea. Please add real items,

since I would love to actually sell items. Thank you. Hi. Hi, welcome to my items shop. It's just a locker that says items. My school item shop. Would you like a potion? I have a potion.

It is equal parts. We as a young nation need to overthrow the teachers. God, every time you call. Yeah, it's putting me on edge. I know that this episode will aid. poorly when you are dead or one or I don't have it I literally have not left the house dude you have it my my boner is pointing directly towards you because you're gay because it senses danger yeah lol at all these hate comments my dad in high school actually sell knives I like to

think his dad currently like yeah his dad sells knives the high school selling knives yeah on your shoulder yes this one I like yeah he's awesome it's great My friend always asks for a knife, but I don't have one. I want knives so I can slit my fist and rub my blood in my enemy's faces. We should do blood, brothers. Yeah, yeah. Breaking news, murder attack in a school. Breaking news, murder attack in a school.

And that's the whole news story. Coming up, a great artichoke dip for Super Bowl. Yeah, this just in, food and snacks at the TV. This just in, the teacher's lounge has no apples. This just in, the girls' bathroom doesn't have any urinals. What the fuck? The teacher's apple had a worm. More at 11.

Back to you, Chris. What are you doing? Tonight. I thought we were doing school news tonight. And to Derek with the weather. Tonight, an investigative report. Does the girl's bathroom really have a couch in it? Yeah.

Yeah, and then to you, Derek, with the weather. Derek, with the weather. And he's like, uh, there's going to be snow forever and we have no more school. Thanks, Chris. Win. Sounds good to me. Sounds like an epic win. We're going to kill the teachers with the knives.

Um, never a good idea. This is anonymous. Honestly, I wish I knew about this earlier. Knife is for ending people life. That's a good chance. We can kill those haters. Other kids could kill you. Sausage Lover 99.

Add me on Xbox. Brazil Nut 72. That's such a good Xbox username. Brazil Nut 72. What was your guys' game tag? Can't wait to kill history. I shared it with my little brother. Mine.

It's still the same one I have on the Xbox. It's E. Doran, one, two, three, four. So if you want to add me on Xbox Live, E. Doran, one, two, three, four. Nice. I think my Minecraft name, which was the only, like, or, like, Steam, was, uh, Tenebrae Omega.

My Steam name is, uh, still Wargars. It's still my YouTube poop name. My, my Xbox name was Span. Am X Havoc. That's pretty sick. I think my PlayStation name is Cam Fetter. I don't know. It might not be.

But I made that like a year ago, so that's why. That's your name. Yeah, that's my name. Yeah, when you grow up, you start. My runescape name was Penny Picker. Oh, yeah, you told us about that. That's cool. Because you were going to make that documentary.

No, that was different. No, Penny Picker, that was like a, back in the day, that was like something, like a moshing move. It was a penny picker. and I thought it was cool. In a couple weeks, we will, Caleb will, be making chump change. Chimps change.

It's coming to theaters near you. It'll come to your local indie. Michael Moore has backed it. Yeah, yeah. Michael, yeah, as long as I filmed the whole thing in Flint, then he's agreed to do it. Here's a comment. This idea is very shocking.

I do see this happening in the near future. If students keep being like this, good luck teachers slash haters, regards. If students keep being like this. Damn, students be doing this shit. Students do be like this. number two. Wait, wait one more. Okay. Ye, because I would really love

to walk into school with a M9 bayonet and kill my business teacher. She is a massive bitch. Dude, dad fucking rules. God damn, dude. A bayonet. Yeah. That's jumping like a level. That is how

that is how nowadays, that's how you get away with a mass shooting. Bring in a gun that people would just assume you're doing show and tell with. Yeah. Yeah. Like a busket. Yeah. I'd just be like, oh, he's just... Imagine, imagine a kid just pulling up with a musket at school, though.

Yeah. That'd be sick. There was a kid at my school who tried to walk around, or he tried to get it approved, but he wanted to do a Nerf war for the senior prank. And he set up, like, a whole rule system of how the senior prank would work. And then I just remember everybody in this, like, the seniors 2015 group just being like, yeah, we don't want to do this. I was just like, oh, man, he...

What was the senior prank? Senior prank was... We had a rave in a classroom. Whoa, dude, that's insane. Yeah, well, they had to... There was apparently a prank so bad at our school that they had to approve our pranks. That's pretty funny.

Whoa. So... What do you want? Brank approved. Number two... We had to get our pranks approved, and then after the rave thing happened, me and my friends just ran around the school

running into classrooms and yelling. so that fucking rocks man yeah number two is gum oh the gum kid at school the kid who sold the gum i didn't sell gum i was a free gum guy yeah i never gave away gum for i never sold gum i was not business savvy yeah all it's a comment one of the top comments is always make sure this is above any kind of weapons we have to get this to the top vote this to the top please vote this to the top please vote this one to number one. Number one. I'm having an acid reflux, dude. Dude, you have it, man. No. Yeah, one of those, uh, those little spheres got stuck in your, in your, uh, yeah, have gas virus. Yeah, you know, the thing? The spiky virus sphere. Yeah, it's like a, what is it, what's that

ball cut called that gets big? Ball cunt? Is that what you just said? Tumor? No, the ball, you know, those, you know, those play balls are getting big? I've been scared that this has been esophical cancer. One of those got stuck. You think you have esophical cancer? I'm a hypochondri. I got cancer. One of us will get cancer. Yeah, it's probably going to be me. Yeah. Yeah. Again, I, you know, I think you're probably immune to everything but cancer at this point.

Yeah, I don't think any of my older. Well, you smoked cigarettes since you were like 11, right? 12. 12. Yeah. What was your peak? Of most cigarettes? Like a day.

How many were you smoking? Oh, I was like, when I, before I quit, it was like almost two packs a day. Whoa. No, it was almost like. That's old man numbers. Two packs every two days. So a pack a day. He's thinking.

Hold on. He's too a day. No, no, no, no. Because I knew. Every two days. Not a pack a day. No. It was like.

I did seven packs a week. It was a day. There was a point where it was like a pack every other day. I think that might have been my most. But there was a week where I did smoke a pack a day. How did you get it? Did someone just knock a pack a day? How did you get it?

Did, would it? card you or did you steal it from people uh no my mom smoked sigs oh so you just so until i turned when i turned 18 that's when i got bad because then you could buy it because you five dollars in new hampshire yeah and i'm 18 yeah and what else are you going to do exactly what else am i just sit in my room and play lord of the rings on game cube and smoke sighings so you can smoke inside yeah you had a siggs inside house that's crazy man yeah i's sick's inside house yeah twice as much cancer. Oh my god, dude.

Second hand smoke and Sigs inside. Yeah. That rocks. But I would play, I would sleep on a mattress on the floor and I only had like, I had just shelves that I put all my clothes on. Yeah. And I would just smoke Sigs and play GameCube all summer. Damn.

I, I want to go back. Absolutely boss, dude. I want to go back. Absolutely boss. This comment says, if your school doesn't allow gum, go for it. Just try not to get caught or you're. dead. Oh, yeah, that was a...

You get a legal in your school? I, so I had a death penalty. I used to chew gum because I had a 504 plan, which was like for kids with ADHD. Oh, yeah, dude, I had a 504, too. Yeah, so I had a 504 plan. Part of my 504 was like a chew gum during tests, but my math teacher, seventh grade, Mr. McCarthy, went on paternity leave so you could watch his kid, and we had this substitute named Mrs. Williams.

Mrs. Williams was one of the... worst women I've ever met in my life. Mrs. Williams accused me of, because if you didn't do your homework, you had to get your mom to sign it. She accused me of ripping the page out of my book when I did the home yet. Dude, she was a fucking nutcase.

So her and then Mrs. Smith. And you're like, you better not cross me. I'm going to go get the bayonet from my backpack. Yeah. But her and Mrs. Smith just said horrible things about me to my mom apparently. But, uh, yeah. Your child is a pedophile

Your child Fuck's a kid No but she I was chewing gum During a test And then she just straight up Just said she didn't believe me That it was in my 504 plan

And I had to believe Patrick Believe Patrick Yeah Hashtag believe Patrick Let's get it trending We need to get it trending right now For an incident that happened to me When I was 12 years old

Yeah No but I had to fight I had to fight like the teacher I'd like Fight the teacher I didn't like it Yeah, like Celebrity Death Match, you and the teacher? I wish.

Oh my God, dude. I hope she gets freaking COVID. I would love to get in the ring with Miley Cyrus and Celebrity Deathmatch. I would like to knock her block off. Mrs. Williams, if I see you, it's on site. If I see you, I'm going to knock your block off, you're weird bitch. Your weird Jerry Curl you had. I'm going to clean your clock.

You weird, tall white lady with a Jerry curl. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to milk your cock. If you can hear me. I'm going to milk your cock like the utter that God made it. Mm-hmm. You, bitch.

You wore too many rings, Mrs. Williams. That was weird. You wore too many rings, and you had a weird jerry curl. Sounds like a gypsy. And it was so weird when you would belly dancing class and take all of our wallets. Yeah, and you put a hex on my friend. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, he got dragged to hell. Yeah. You had a monkey white eye. Yeah. You made someone eat an apple and the seven dwarves. Yeah. That's not a gypsy. She's not?

Oh, is a witch. She's a queen All of them are Witch All of you're Queens I'll say it Go Go Bordello

Yeah Queens Isn't it Romani I don't give a fuck about If you're European I can call you anything I want I heard such a dude

I heard Kurt Metzger I was listening to White Precious It was like one of the best stand-up albums ever But there's a point where he calls Greek people Diner Monkeys

And I can't Christ. I've had that stuck in my... Diner Monkey is the greatest European slur. Yeah. Yeah. I'm holding on to that one. Yeah. For the first time I ever meet a Greek person.

Hey, what's up? You're a diner monkey. That's funny. Yeah, true. Yeah, can I have a Spanacopoda? Double-time diner monkey? Yeah. That's a good idea.

Our brains are getting poopy. Yeah, read the... Puppy liquid brain. You have poopy liquid brain. Read the last comment, Caleb. E Keefee. Okay, thanks. that was a Caleb kind of comment

Number three Slime Yeah number three slime Yeah we sell some slime Kids just have different problems than we do There was slant I'll say it When I was growing up

Slime didn't exist man Yeah we didn't do slime We did Ublec Ooblich What the fuck man You remember doing Ublec? We did Ublec in science class With my weird

The Ublec book Scared the fucking shit out of me When I was a kid The part when the Ublec goes in his mouth There's an Ublik book Yeah it's a Dr. Seuss book You never read Ublec No, I didn't know

It was based off a Dr. Seuss book. I thought they were just trying to teach us about non-Newtonian fluid. There's a kingdom where... I thought they were just trying to teach us about non-New fluid. There's a... You hog.

You fast-talking hog. Shut up. Sweet! There's a book and it's about like a kingdom where this mysterious slime rains down that just ruins everything at touch. It's like super sticky.

They can't clean it off. And like it like nobody can't like everything gets stuck. Everybody gets stuck in the Ublec, and there's a part where he accidentally swallows an Ublec, and it, like, sticks up his insides, and he can't talk, and he's, like, going to die. It's crazy, dude. They tell me about Ublek of the 7th grade. That's like the Schell Silverstein poem about eating peanut butter. Eat a peanut butter sandwich, and your mouth is stuck closed, and you can't even breathe.

And your parents won't help. Scary stuff. Dude, every Shell Silverstein, when I was a kid, they scared the fuck out of me. All of his, the concept for all of his poems are like, what if I wrote a poem about like a guy with no face? Yeah. What if a monster lived inside of a kid? Yeah, what if there was like. And then, yeah, all you have to do is read his poem and then just imagine his face.

What is the street stopped. Dude, that was the, that's still such a funny part of a diary of a wimpy kid where they just have the drawing of him. Yeah. And it's like, he looks like a pirate. Yeah. So funny, dude. Yeah, he has a crazy looking guy. I would not like the guy anywhere near my kids.

Oh, on the back of the book. No, just Shell Silverstein. He's not just on the back of the book. He only existed on the back of the book. No, they just kept using the same photo. Yeah, they used the same photo of him and he's wearing some big fur coat and he's got a giant beard. Yeah, and crazy veneers. Crazy veneers, baldhead, giant eyebrows.

Okay, wait, these comments are, something's going on with slime here. Listen to these comments. I just read them in a row. Everyone sells slime. What? My best friend did and got $100 each semester. What the f- It's a good idea to sell slime because a lot of kids like it.

So slime, so, okay, so my little brother, no, my little brother, the nine-year-old, he loves slime. Yeah, my younger sister loves slime. No, it's because kids are being made autistic by the internet. Yeah, and they just calms them down. They make colored slime now. Yeah, yeah. It's like five years younger than us. Yeah, it's like how like, like, you remember those cubes?

that were like fidget cubes it was it's like that but yeah for just like devolved yeah yeah yeah yeah every kid is autistic nowadays i wouldn't say that it is i would it is everyone more a dd this this this this like this like the comments on this read like they're coming out of like an alternate universe like we just found like listen to this is crazy knives slime and you know it sounds like someone's pretending to like so they're trying to send a message like listen this everyone in my school like slime even me and literally everyone wants it and sells it is it like the stuff it's like yeah it's the stuff yeah this is like this creepy dude i slime is just shaving cream though i can't make slime because me and my sister made a mess one day and got banned from it oh my god dude oh we got banned from

slime it is a really good idea you can get a lot of money and everyone likes it i sold slime in fourth grade i made like $100 a week. I made $78 off of slime selling in two weeks. That's the only person I believe because that's a real, that's a normal number. I will sell this tomorrow. I have literally made about $14 and I started five days. Great idea. I love slime. I like slime. It's a good stress reliever. Yes. Yep. Yes. I want slime. Slime. When can I start? I like it, but not prefer it at school. I will just stick to the regular learning system or book fairs. Kids should not be so stressed that the only thing that can calm them down is slime. This is so insane, dude. I am selling slime and I've made 100 pounds in two weeks. X. Wow, you should try it out. X. I made 50 pounds

starting a slime business in school. God damn it, dude. Imagine like going back in time and explaining this to like Ronald Reagan. My friend sells slime in school and made $50 each week and by the end of the month she had $200 bucks. One day an industry is going to be kids selling slime to each other in school. That's how kids are like, that's like when the people in like Brazil, like hack Minecraft accounts and then they just kind of mine for gold and then sell the mine or the runescape accounts. Yeah. And then they mine or they get like all the gold and then they sell the runescape account for money. There's like the concept of like a like a David Foster Wallace novel. Kids selling slime to provide for their family. Kids have a slime economy.

Yeah. They start slime businesses. Yeah. Those comments weirded me out. It's bizarre, dude. Well, let's look at number four because then this kind of reminds us of our. This must have been like how our parents felt when like rap came out yeah right i just started living to rap everybody loves rap yeah what is that rapping yeah they just have no clue number four number four is weed top comment you went to high school i went to school high whoa oh my god because you guys i i knew in middle school when i was like in sixth grade the seventh grader this kid bob he was like one of my If you're in the seventh grade, you're going by Bob, not Bobby. No, he was Bob.

That's some fucked-up shit. He was Bob. We were in a band together that we never made a song or played any music, but we were in a band together. He sold weed, and the way that he would sell weed was, this is like such a sick, like 2008 thing. He would bring weed to school in tiny bags, and he would hide them in the tag of his new era fitted hat.

Nice. Because it was like a little pouch. And then he would come into math class every day and be like, Caleb, smell my hat. And so he would pass the hat around the class and all the kids would, like, smell the hat. And then someone would be like, this hat's great. Like in front of the teacher, this hat's great. I'll give you $10 for this hat. Damn.

Yeah, man. Sick. Bob is a genius, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think he's dead. Yeah.

Nice. Damn. That was, like, my main drug dealer friend in middle school. Yeah. The only drug, like, the one drug dealer at my school lived in my neighborhood. And my mom hated him, so I couldn't. So he couldn't buy any drugs? No.

When did you first smoke wheat? I was talking about it before. I first smoked weed when I was like 13. Oh, yeah. Had a basketball game. Yeah. No, I was already smoking SIG, so I was like, oh, and let's go to the next level. Yeah.

I didn't drink until I was 15, though. Yeah, I didn't drink for a long time. No, I drank when I was 13. I think I was 16 when I was 13 when I had my first. I was 17 when I drank and smoked for the first time. I had a pineapple soda mixed with a vodka. Whoa. My sister's 16th birthday.

My first time ever drinking, I stole, my mom had like, Somebody gave her a bottle of Hennessy, and they never drank it. So me and my friend John, we stole a, we stole, like, just a bunch. And I didn't know how to drink. I was just like, this is alcohol. So I poured Hennessy into a giant solo cup. And then is there something interesting happening outside? I was just standing out there.

Yeah. I thought they were looking in the window. I poured Hennessy into two solo cups, like, all the way to the top. And it was like the most disgusting thing ever, but I was like, I guess this is what it's like. and we both blacked out and then I remember I was like we went for a walk on the beach and we blacked out and then I woke up

and I was running in the rain it was like pouring down rain and I was sprinting and John was like ahead of me and he like fell over and I had to like drag him like into my house and then I got him like on my bed and I was like okay he's asleep

I'm gonna go vomit and then I went to the bathroom and I was vomiting for a little while and then I heard just like something outside just like I was like what the fuck is that and I opened the door to the bathroom

and John was completely naked at my brother's electronic drum kit in the living room just feasting on it and it was completely unplugged but he was just fucking going in yeah that's awesome just completely naked

here's a comment on weed it get my thing going Damn, weed I'd get my thingy all fucked Yeah, I gotta smoke weed So I get my thingy going Mm-hmm Maybe offer the principal a toke

After school too Principal You would never I would never share my weed With the principal Never, dude That's cop, that's what cops do Mm-hmm

You're all wet You have never touched weed And you won't sell it Well, I thought wet was PCP I don't, I think wet is maybe A new slang That we don't understand

I love weed Hugmoo is a seven tree of a dog. That's literally what being high does to your brain. Yeah, pretty much. I bought a pound of weed and also ordered 100 pre-rolled cones, stuffed them and sold them for $5 each.

Think of that. 1,600 pound, $5 each jay, which is 0.3 of a gram. That's killer profit. That's if you don't smoke your supply. Stay lifted, by the way. There's 453 grams in a pound. Nice.

That's a cop. Yeah. There's a funny picture of me holding a pound of weed. Yeah, that's a good picture. It's a lot more than you would think. It's huge. It's so much. Yeah.

Yeah, I just stepped out of the shower one day, and my brother was like, do you want to hold a pound of weed? I'm like, yeah, sure. I would hold a pound of weed if I could. Yeah. You know how heavy it is? No. It's a pound.

Yeah, I got you. Got your ass. It's probably less heavy. number five is snacks i've sold snacks i've sold vending machine yeah yeah what is he the vending machine yeah what i sold snacks i i would sell snacks to the ghost tour that would go by my house yeah yeah there was a there's a graveyard across the street from my dad's house i was never a seller i could we set up i set up a little plastic table and me and my brother we would sell water bottles coke products and snacks from costco and we made a pretty good amount of money nice yeah i was never patient enough and no one

wanted to buy things for me i love doing it i just loved having a job Yeah, yeah. Like, I was, as a kid, I was obsessed with having a job. I was obsessed with getting things for free. I wanted to, I was obsessed with being friends with the kid who was selling things and then working for him. And then him being like, yeah, you can get some gum. I had a, um, I wanted to, I saw my big fat Greek wedding. And I was like, I asked my parents, I was like, we have to open a diner.

Because I want to be like a kid who works at a diner so bad. You want to be a diner monkey? Yeah, I wanted to be a diner monkey. I tried to work at a, my mom did work for, before she worked at the Superwalk, she worked at a, fuck, I should stop saying the business name. She worked at a Greek diner. Yeah. And I worked there for a day, got paid 60 bucks. Whoa.

And then I went and bought a PS2. Was 60 bucks? What year was this? 2010. Oh, okay. And then I asked if I could work there again. And then my mom said, no, they don't want you there. Dude, I worked in food service for four days, and I sucked at it so badly.

Dude, that's... I worked at Jersey Mikes for four days, and I got basically fired because my hands were too sweaty because I would put on the... I'd put on the gloves, like, plastic gloves, and I would sweat so much through the gloves that they would, like, fall off of me while I was making a sandwich. Probably because you weren't too big gloves. I have no idea. But the guy, the boss, I was like...

Mike? I was like, I'm... Yeah, Mike. I was like, I'm sweating. too much like my gloves keep falling off and I can't do anything with these gloves on he's like okay well we'll just put some like yeast and flour on your hands and uh it'll just dry him out and then I did that and I was so sweaty that I it made like a dough in my gloves yeah and he was like you can't work here at uh at uh in L.A at the company me and Alex were interning at

yeah um I can say it yeah I can say it yeah or no I would say it on a pre I'm not gonna say yeah might as well not um people probably know if not it doesn't matter It rhymes with college humor Yeah Um As uh Great I lost my train of thought now

Might as well Um Oh yeah Uh Like we're asking like Oh what's like good food in the area And the guy was just like telling us good food And then Alex was as a joke was like

Okay What's the worst restaurant in the area And the guy was like oh You know what? Definitely Jersey mics I hate that place It's fucking shit It's the worst food ever

And then like a week later Like we were having like We were doing like a workshop thing, and he was like, oh, I'll get you guys lunch. What do you guys want from Jersey Mikes? He just, like, forgot that he told us that he thought it was like, so he was just like... I love Jersey Mikes. That's my favorite sub place.

It's pretty good. By far. Actually, maybe... Jimmy Johns. No, no. Jersey Mikes are way better than Jimmy Johns. I've never been to Jersey Mikes. I don't have them around here. No, you know what?

Best sub place I ever went to? Subway. Victor's Deli in Somerville, Mass. Girard Deli. Brownie. That place says, shut the fuck down. Blimpy. You guys don't know

Blampy up here Top comment on snacks They don't have your weird Top comment on snacks Is it's an option It's an option It's an option A few years ago

I was told only seniors Are allowed to sell that Snacks? Only seniors can sell snacks Or seniors Did you guys have a school store? Yeah No

Did you get like Where you buy snacks and shit? Yes I was homeschooled Oh yeah that's right So just camera But we had You could buy

Cookies there For like two bucks For two cookies Yeah you could buy Everything was so expensive The co-op I went to had, like, they would have a bake sale once a month, so people would just bring in various shit. It doesn't matter. It was always over priced. They would sell, like, Otis Spunkmire cookies that they heated up in a little oven.

Spunkmire. Yeah. Skipping ahead to number... That's a condom name, not a fucking... Skipping ahead to number eight is porn. Top comment. Jerking off every day to this is the best thing I've ever experienced. I like porn because I jerk off until the end of the video, and I faint when the girls say, oh yes daddy and I die by the happiness of jerking off

If your school has security cameras You're probably going to get caught doing this I jacked off at school You jacked off you fucking freak You're in middle school You're a freak Yeah dude if I was bored in class We just go the bathroom crank one out

You're a freak You're a toilet leave it there for the janitor eat That's disgusting It's normal It's normal healthy thing I was it's funny that I'm so I'm not like a horny person now When I was a kid I was like the horniest

little I was I it was awesome that's gross though I would never it was a peak of my powers man jack off at school that's disgusting I jack off at school now the fucking oh I have graduated yeah six months ago yeah I just go back in I show them uh I show them my my Ralph's loyalty card as if it's an ID and then I just walked to the bathroom I jerk off damn feels like home number I skip ahead to number 12 because the top comment and number 12 is or number 12 is your soul just kind of like funny you have to sell your soul it's kind of like funny you have to sell your soul at school, right? The top comment on this is,

my penis is hard for tamales, and I agree with selling my souls to some random kids at school. It's like my penis is hard for tamales. Pretty good. My penis is tough for snacks. Fuck you. Homework doing.

Homework doing. Hair. The comment says, I'm bald. Dude, hair. We, did you? No, this was just at my school. Did you guys have pantine beautiful links? Locks for love?

Yeah. Yeah, we had that, but it was called Panteen's Beautiful Lanks, and, like, it was a mandatory thing we had to go to. Yeah, that's crazy. It was like a pep rally that was also a hair-cutting ceremony, and we had, like, they shut down Pantine Beautiful Lanks, but we had the most hair donated by a high school. Dude, my high school is fucking crazy. Isn't most wig hair taken from, like, like, corpses in India or so shit? Like by corpses, most of the hair that we would donate at our school, they wouldn't use. Yeah.

And girls would pressure other girls into doing it. And then some girls would shave their heads completely bald just to be like, look at how much I'm donating. And it was just like a whole fucking freak fest of just kids just donating, like, girls donating their hair. And then like the occasional, like, guy would grow out his hair. And here's the thing for these people with cancer. Being bald is really actually very cool. Mm-hmm. You know, and it's normal.

It's normal to go. do exactly it's heroic to lose your hair uh-huh it is me and patrick are in agreement here it's extremely normal lose your hair um it doesn't matter if it's because of cancer or like other stuff you know maybe you have genetics your grandpa's bald maybe you have such bad dandruff that just your hair falls out in giant clumps with like a with like some weird plateau of skin underneath and then some some of your family members also have tritomily or whatever that hair pulling thing yeah and you have a hair pulling thing too but you're also going bald so you're getting freaked out about it.

Exactly. And maybe that's, it's a normal thing. So donate some of your hair to me, Pantene Beautiful Lansett at my high school. That's as un-American and bad as dying in 9-11. I don't think you guys are heroes. I think you're the opposite. I think you're traitors. Me and Pat are going to go get best buddy hair plugs together in China.

We're going to go to Istanbul. I feel like that's when we started with the first of, I think the first episode of this marathon, we talked about hair plug. Yeah, we talked about Istanbul. Started with hair plugs. We're ending with hair plugs. It's normal. On the end of the marathon.

I'm going to, As soon as I have the money, I'm going to get some crazy hair plugs. Yeah. Some Wayne Diamond plugs. I mean, they're going to look. I'm going to show up. I'm going to go on a six-month vacation and let them grow out a little bit. Yeah.

And then I'm going to show up and you guys are going to fucking suck my dick. You're going to show up with your head. I'm not going to suck your leg. Yeah. Number 19 is candy and top comment. This is kind of a, let's do a wholesome. Let's close it out with the wholesome one. Okay.

Because everyone's stressed out. Yeah. We're stressed out. Definitely by the time this comes out, stuff is way worse. Yeah. one of us is going to be dead or it's way better we don't know maybe no no it's definitely worse it's not going to be better yeah it's way worse so we'll end it on a wholesome note it's st patrick's day we got it is it's st patrick's day yeah it's my nomenstog your what nomenstog it's your what

it's what does that mean it is a german thing if you're named after a saint in germany uh you get candy for your nomenstog you have i got i i brought some hichu. Yeah, you refuse to eat the hichu. Well, I forgot that it was my nomenchok. So I bet it's you're not your boy bischog after all. No, it's nomenstog. It's your boy bischog. And you guys have to give me candy. I tried, and you said that it hurts your teeth.

Well, I forgot that it's my nomenstog, and I have to eat candy. You have to eat one. There was, in high school, I took German, and on my nomenstog on St. Patrick's Day, two girls did give me candy once, and I said thank you, and I didn't talk to you. And two girls gave me candy at the same damn time. Mm-hmm. They gave me lint chocolates Lint chocolates

It made out of lint Fuck You got close Patrick put it in his pooper It went under the couch You think so? I think it fell forward No, it went under my couch

Nice Yeah There it was That was the yeah That we were talking about earlier Yeah Yes Finally

That was probably like a week ago That was probably like a week ago That we were talking about that guy Oh damn dude Everyone's gonna be so confused About these episodes No you're listening to them in order If you don't understand it, subscribe to the Patreon.

That's true. And it makes perfect sense. And just here it is a marathon. Yeah. We don't have any patrons to read, so we'll just make them up. That's why I said we should have read half of them. No, that's stupid. Well, no, we're going to end with the St. Patrick's Day song.

Yeah, well, after, okay, let me read the wholesome one. And then we'll sing the St. Patrick's Day song together. All right, I would love to do that. Yeah. Read the wholesome one. St. Patrick's Day is like a week and a day ago, I think, if you're listening to it. this. Yeah.

Number 19, candy. Because there can be a day when you are feeling a little down. And you need some candy. So that will be a great idea. St. Patrick's Day. Oh, there's a real song? Is it a banjo in it?

Just the Irish Rover? I don't know. No, this isn't it? St. Patrick's Day is the day of today, and the Irish are here, get all of the snakes out of Ireland. And there's friends at the store, and they want to drink in its beers, beers, and they want to drink in beers, beers, and the That's part of the day is when we all go to the Shamrock, to Shamrock sleep, and I went to McDonald's and I got a shamrock shake, and I got an extra cherry's in it because it's St. Patrick's Day.

And there was Whip Creme And the Femrocks Green leaves They were making me sleep And the Ireland flag

Is orange and green And St. Patrick's Day Whitch's Day wow that was amazing that uh yeah um thank yeah yeah you're welcome yeah yeah see you next time