Podcast About List - Ep. 94 - April's Food's Day

Episode Date: April 1, 2020

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You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. All accounts to the ball list. You're any crap monster. Oh, my God. Okay, so I'm recording from my car. Yeah. From the backseat of my car alone. And my neighbor...

Life has gotten so weird in the past three weeks. I know. This is not where I've got to do. Can you believe it's still March? Can you believe? Dude, the horrors of April have yet to come? yeah well when this comes out it is April it's not March that's true

so yeah there's no quiet room in my house I'm staying in my mom's house the walls and ceilings and floors are very thin you can hear everybody at all time so I can't record a podcast in there so I'm sitting in the backseat of my mom's car in front of our house and our neighbor just came out and looked at me pretty fun did they look at you devilishly

maybe they're trying to see you get dressed yeah yeah No, they're kind of, they're walking around the sidewalk with their dog, so they're just kind of over there right now. It's fucking weird. It's a quarantine, you have to stay inside, but you make your dog pee in the toilet, poop in the toilet. Get a pad. Swallow your dog's waist. Put a maxi pad on your dog.

If there was ever a time to teach your dog how to shit in the sink, it'd be right now. Yeah. You know? What is the deal in boss right now? you guys have they said you have to stay inside yet i don't think so i don't think they will um they they said they like strongly suggested it but there's no shelter in place um we're boston star if you guys have if you guys have to stay locked inside the sarniav's win yeah exactly yeah that's what they were trying to do they were trying to their whole bombing the marathon was

just to get us to go back inside it worked for like a day you can leave your house for like a day right that's true i was in hampshire i you could yeah you couldn't leave your house for like a night i think it wasn't even the whole day yeah it was just like the evening wasn't your friend didn't your friend die in it my friend was the sarniaev was jokar sarniav actually oh that's what i'm thinking of uh no a bunch of my family members are like have close ties to the marathon to the sarniives yeah to the committing your family has a bunch of close times yeah my uncle rubikinov he is uh closely tied to the Sarnayevs. My aunt has all these crazy

connections. Like, she just knows a bunch of people who were, like, hurt or killed in it and, like, her, um, well, I don't want to, yeah, there's, I don't want to docks my family, but there's, like, people's name. I'll tell you guys after the podcast. I'll post them on the Discord. I'll post his family's names. Yeah, those will be, that'll be a

Discord exclusive anecdote. Yeah, you know, yeah, I'll put, yeah, I'll... The list of the victims from the boss of bombing. Yeah. Um, I haven't been able to how are you guys been doing? I'm going crazy, because I haven't been able to sleep. I, dude, I went to bed at like six the other day. 6 a.m.

Oh, okay. That's normal for you. That is just Patrick but more. Yeah, I'm in, I'm in Turbo Patrick mode. Like, I'm like not, I'm staying up until six. Yeah, staying up till six every day. I've been playing skate three. I've been playing Mario Kart.

I'm really mad because my TV doesn't have any RCA ports on it, so I can't play the GameCube. You can come to my house, dude. Order the, uh, the, uh, coaxial cable adapt. Yeah, I want to get the, uh, I want to get the component cables for the Wii, though, because it does have component cable slots, but, yeah, I'm

gonna be setting up my Wii next week. Yeah. Well, that's, that's a big time. I can, uh, I can, uh, I can teach you how to mod it. I don't want that. I don't want to, you don't want to, you don't want to, you don't want to play, you don't want a hair, uh, a hair trigger on your Wii. Yeah.

Dude, I want to, I can put, I'm Wii with the real gun. An extendo clip. You can put an extendo on the remote. Yeah. Yeah. You put a bump stock on your waist. You can make a MOTM.

The Wii Motion Plus is a bump stock. Yeah. Yeah. I've been doing okay. I've been, right now, I just finished up my quarantine in the cottage behind my in-laws house. Now you're back to coughing on all the produce and grocery stores. Exactly. Yeah.

I'm back to sampling all the grapes and the strawberries. Yeah. Yeah. with my tongue, but I just like, I've been sitting out here playing Minecraft, smelling like dog shit, like absolute horse shit, piss, and fucking calm. I smell terrible. Oh, I've been showering a lot. I have been showering.

This is the least I've ever showered my life. The other day I realized I wore the same pants for 18 days in a row. Oh, I did that before the quarantine. My brown pants? You can wear pants as long as you want. That's the thing about pants. I thought that, too, until I was sitting on the couch with Janae, watching. Nathan for you.

You tried to stand up and your pant legs wouldn't bend. Yeah. They were so starched with shit. No, she was just, she was like, honestly,

like, I think your pants smell, like, it's maybe the worst smell of ever. Yeah, and I was like, you, I'm breaking up with you. You can't say that to me, dude. I used to wear,

I used to wear the same pair of black dickies, like, every day in high school. That's exactly what they are. The black dickies are a fucking stink magnet. It's because you can, dude, you can empty a bottle of ketchup on black dickies and never see a stain. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Completely, it absorbs it like an alien. I know. You know, in movies when, like, an alien goo hops out of something and, like, it absorbs a bullet. That's how my dickies are with, like, mustard and mayonnaise stains. It's a venom. It's a venom symbiote. Clearly, I've just been eating hot dogs. I'm just outing myself.

Damn. It's all, I'm all mustard mayonnaise and ketchup. Oh, I've been eating so much corn chowder. Is that when you keep fucking sending? Yeah. Yeah. That is, it looks so bad. It's so good, dude.

What are you talking about? Dude, it tastes so good, though. It's corn chowder with a pork shoulder bacon. That sounds delicious. It looks like you dumped, like, just like canned corn and half and half. Yeah. It's terrible. Yeah, I mean, that's essentially corn chowder.

Yeah. With salt. Yeah. Today I made a polenta. Yes. Ooh. That sounds good. Gray day slop.

It's good. Oh, last night Domini. That is a X level. I got a I got really I I don't know what I made like a thing like a blender full like it's like a 72 ounce blender that I have and I filled it with like just too much tequila I just made like the biggest frozen margarita thing and I got fucked up way too quick yeah and we got I was so drunk that I moved I showed you guys already but I moved the corner of the couch out to the alleyway to the alleyway yeah why we're like we Why'd you get rid of the couch? We got rid of the corner piece. Why? So now there's more room in my apartment.

Oh, okay. What are you going to use that corner for? Oh, we just put the corner in the alleyway, and I'm sitting on the... No, where are you putting in the new corner? You're going to put something, like a ping pong table or something? No, he just put a basket. He's going to... A basket.

Yeah. You're right. A little Easter basket. That was a much better use of the space. No, so the cats can run around, but look, we, I put the, um... I put the one chair here, and then, like, the reclining chair and then the big chair. Man, looks like total shit, dude. Did you guys see that person just run by that window right there?

No. Someone just ran by this window, like, right by it. Like, an inch away. That was really... I hope that person doesn't come back and shoot you. I don't think they will. An inch away from your car? I mean, they're just running with their dog.

Everyone's running with their dogs. I don't know what's going on. Why are people running with their dogs? running the same direction? No. Oh, okay. Up and down the street. This is a dead end street.

I don't know why people run up and down the street. To say hi to you. They want to see what it is. It's probably they live here. It's most likely. I don't think. No. No.

No, that's fucking stupid, dude. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. I've just been, I've been hanging out, shooting guns. Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing shooting shock. I just found a whole bag. I would actually never touch a gun.

Oh, wow. That's awesome, dude. I'm going to touch a gun. A gun to you, dude. Yeah. I'm going to make you touch a gun. Believe that. You're not going to like it.

I've shot a gun before. I've told you guys about this. I'm going to shoot on to you. Is it a story when you shot a gun? No, I just, uh... Miraculous? No, I shot an AR-15 for the, like, my first gun. Oh, dude, AR-15, that's a cool fucking gun.

Yeah, no, my shoulder hurt for like two days, but I didn't want to tell them. So I was just like, there was like a situation where I had to like lift, like, I had to lift up the vacuum in front of them, and I just like, I just waited it out. Just trying so badly to not show how much of a pussy you are. Yeah. Yeah. And they hung up our, we didn't have any posters on our wall or anything.

We did have, we had like a big American flag in our living room. And then just the bullet, like the, what are they called the targets. We had the American flag. And then like one of the targets was supposed to be a terrorist. And it was just a brown person that we shot. Nice. Yeah. That's that, yeah.

Anytime somebody prints one of those out, It's always like, it's like a picture of Carlos Monsia. Yeah. It's Carlos Monsea. He's an A-Rab. And then some, yeah, they put Carlos Monsia in a turban, and sometimes he's got a turban, and he's got zombie skin. Yeah. And that's how they, that's how they get around the racist part of it.

They put that, that picture of the, uh, that, like, image macro of the kid who has Osama bin Laden's beard. Yeah. The baby Mr. Bean that has Osama, Mr. Bean with the Osama. Yeah. Who just like has his arm, he just has Pamela Anderson in a headlock. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, 15 bullets directly in the same spot in Pamela Anderson's place. Sorry, I can't help myself.

She's so beautiful. Yeah, I got distracted. Yeah, it's like when you look at like something while you're driving, you start drifting that way. Yeah. Yeah, but you're so distracted by the Pamela Anderson. So there's just like, yeah, there's like 10 bullets in Mr. Bean's head and then like just a splat on Pamela Anderson's face. The, uh, I, I, the first time I ever shot a gun, it was just like a little shotgun. The second time, my brother's friend had an MP5.

Ooh. Yeah, and I... Yeah, it's called MP3, idiot. Yeah, it's called an iPod. Yeah, yeah, the MP3 file of me, of a gunshot, and he made to listen to it. That he's made me shoot an MP5, and I was so, so terrified. I was like a little kid and I wasn't scared of shooting the gun

I was scared that some like MK Ultra trigger would happen in my brain and I would turn around and start shooting everybody I was like fuck dude if I like turn crazy that would suck so bad I don't turn crazy right now I'm going to come pick me up and I'm going to be have no way to explain this

you know I'd have to frame a crime scene yeah yeah some guy took the MP5 out of my hands and dude was Mr. Bean Mr. Bean stole

your MP5 damn imagine Mr. Bean dual wielding with silencers yeah because he can't talk exactly or like if the guns

do make a noise it's just kind of like the Mr. Bean silencer that makes the the clap of the bullet sounds like hmm

or like every once in a he'll say no Like, no. And just James Bond shooting a pistol that goes, no. That's what Doctor No. Yeah, that's what Dr. No is about. No. Fuck.

But yeah, man, it's been, it's been shelter. Today we're officially not, in North Carolina, we're not allowed to go to, like, to, like, parks and stuff. You can go to the grocery store and home Yeah They closed all the parks in my town But that's just my town There's nothing Yeah

The day before The day before I did go to a skate park Like in the middle of all this Because I had to complete a Patreon You're what we call a spreader My friend You spread your legs No I thought it was going to be me

And then like three guys there But it was like me It was going to be you and three guys spreading Yeah, you and the three guys You brought your boyfriends My boyfriend Chris Tom and Todd Mm-hmm

Tom O'Shea Yeah But I thought it was gonna just be me And like three other people But it was me Like four people skateboarding And then like A bunch of moms

With their little kids Running around the pump track I was just like man You do not give a shit About your kid, huh? A couple of mommies At the skate park A couple of skate mommies

Ooh That's worth it, man Yay Yeah Yes Oh Ooh Um

I've also I've been playing a lot of Minecraft Yeah I've been building wild shit on Minecraft I had to kick Minecraft Because I have fucking Classwork all the time That sucks

I can't believe you're still in school I know And it's so stupid Like I can't fucking space out in class Because all my like Attendance requirements are like watch this hour-long video and send me all your notes on it to prove that you watched it and it's just like oh great uh like i actually have to it's fucking sucks dude i'm just gonna fail

it is the worst school to have online classes at absolutely for sure like i cannot wait to be fucking done everything is like production based everything is performance based like what are you gonna do improv over fucking Skype it's funny you say that i just heard uh my boss at mit had her her daughter um was at the new school and they uh they choose it been around for a while they should just call it the school they should just call it normal school yeah the normal normal it's been the school it's been around a normal amount of time but the um they she was in the middle of an improv class and then they moved it online and so now she has to do online improv it's so funny that's sick dude yeah it's probably a lot like this yeah because then yeah one person can be funnier than the other because

then they can make their background. They can do a funny background, yeah. That's how you, that's taking an A-plus in the, yeah. I improvise my background. Yeah, do a background. It's, it's that picture of that old one of Hulk Hogan doing 9-11 with his fists. Well, no, one person says like, well, it's great, we're here at the store, and the other person switches the background to, like, underwater and goes, no.

Yeah, no, you stupid bitch. We're underwater. We're elected. You fucking idiot. It can't you see Can't you see? Can't you see? Look in the background.

Look at the Zoom background. It is April Fool's Day. Yeah. It's April 1st. So we have a list from the Discord. Let me see who sent this in the Discord. Visions of China. Thank you.

Thanks, visions of China. That's awesome, man. He also sent worst things about the Holocaust and top ten worst things to say to a Holocaust survivor. I don't know what we're going to do those, yeah. I think those might be an April Fool's prank on us. So if we did do those, we would have been pranked. So it's good that we didn't.

Top 10 April Fool's Pranks, it's on the top tens. It's by Delgia 2K. Delgia. That's a cool name. Delgia 2000. That's like a combination of Palchia and Diaglia. And Lugo, yo. And Chi-Caboo.

Lou Geo. Luji, the Pokemon. And Picochu. Picto Chute. Have you guys ever been, uh, been fallen victim to an April full spring? Probably. I definitely have. You know the ones where the teacher says, we have a pop quiz today?

Uh-huh. I never fell for those, man. I was too smart. I know, dude. Teachers suck, dude. Yeah. Yeah. teachers suck homework even worse than teacher

and pranks are the third worst thing pranks I think are good if you do them on your teacher true I was the old thumbtack I was the prankster in middle school I was the prank kid nowadays you put a thumbtack under your teacher's fucking seat they send you to Abu Ghraib you can't do pranks anymore society is cracking down on pranksters right

now you ever heard of pc culture pc stands for pranks kill and that's why they don't let you do pranks anymore it's true yeah yeah that's what all these especially teachers teachers are a protected class nowadays yeah that's also what pc culture stands for protected class this is the worst time for pranksters because they're all stuck up in their homes what are they going to do prank their mom yeah you know you know this whole this whole me too movement has really been tough on pranksters Yeah, the genre of sexual prank has completely been destroyed, lost to the culture. Yeah. So sad. It's serious. You can't do any sexual pranks anymore. No. No.

Let's see. The first one is... I got to ask you about your pranks. What pranks did you guys do? What pranks did I do? Yeah, what's your biggest prank or your best prank? One time, my best, I mean, I was always super lazy. One time I told, I like woke Levi, my younger brother up, and told him that my dad killed himself.

But, like, I was not, you know, it wasn't very creative. Yeah. I would always, I remember one time I tried, I tried to set up. You remember the classic bucket of water on the partly open door? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I tried to set that up, and then the water fell on me as I was, like, putting the bucket up. And I was like, okay, I'm never going to try this again, because I just fucking own myself.

Yeah. Yeah, real self-prank. I'm trying to, I don't think I did any good pranks. I'm sure I did in, like, I'm sure I just, like, told my friend's stupid things. Mm-hmm. Oh, I had some good ones. I had a lot of pranks on teachers that I pulled. Yeah, like what?

Just, like, some of them, just like the, like, the, like, mouse thing. Like, you put, like, the invisible table with the mouse laser. Yeah. I did that enough times to one teacher that he, in the middle of class, he had the IT guy come up and replace the mouse. That's nice. And there was one other time. We set up, he had like a big timer, same teacher. It was my science teacher in eighth grade.

He had a timer and we set it up for 30 minutes in the middle of class. And then in the middle of his lesson, the timer went off and we started laughing. And then he like looked at us and went, is this funny to you? And then he made us sit in silence for the rest of the class, and he, like, didn't teach us. I just, a good prank that we pulled was, um, one time me, my older brother found a two by four in our yard. And he used a saw to cut it down to, like, the last, like, half centimeter or whatever of, like, the wood, like, in the middle. And then my mom was in the front yard, like, uh, mowing the lawn or something. And, uh, my brother was like, okay, you run into the yard screaming.

and I'm going to break this over the back of your head. And I was like, okay. And so I did it. I ran out, and he hit me with the two by four in a way so that, like, it looked to my mom. Like, he just snapped it clean in half, like, Bruce Lee over the back of my fucking head. And I just started, like, screaming. And my mom went, like, so earnestly, my mom went to go punch him in the face. And I started, like, cocked it back, like,

fucking punch out, and I was just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was fake, because I was like, can you imagine just how different my life would have been if I'd watched my mom. Your mom punch your brother. It's good that was her first instinct. Yeah, that's a mama bear shit. Yeah, she is humongously fat and hairy. Yeah.

I told you, I think I've talked about it before, but the, uh, I didn't know, If it's the important documents folder I put on the school shared drive. Yeah. That was a good one. To explain it. I don't think you've talked about that. Yeah, I got in a lot of trouble for it. I lost my computer privileges at school for a week because I made a folder on the school's like shared drive.

It was called the Z drive. And it was just like a cloud thing. Like it ran over the servers of the computers. And it said important documents. There was no important documents folder before. So I made the folder important. documents and then I just put like a thousand copies of beans for even Stevens just this one photo of him on the red carpet and it's just him in like a buccaneers jersey holding up the

peace sign and then someone else in my video production class found it started copying and pacing it some more so by the end of the day it was two gigabytes big but it was slowing down every computer at school for I that's what they told me and that's why they were allowed to take away my computer privileges, but they said they had to go through every individual file to make sure that there weren't any important documents in the file. That rocks. Yeah, that's... Number one prank, according to this.

This is the number one prank of all times. This is number one prank. We found the number one. Fuck those pranks that we just said. Yeah, yeah. Fuck the jackass giant hand, which is probably the best one. Oh, that's for sure. That's the best prank, right?

I think it's the best jackass prank. Yeah, I'm trying to think of what another jackass prank they did even is. Oh, no, the best one was the Johnny Knoxville's lotion, where they put all the horse coming in it. Oh, yeah. Can you imagine being like on the set of jackass and being like, you know what's smart to be, let everyone know that I put lotion on my face all the time? I feel like the fuck, what a layup for fucking Steve-o.

Yeah. Number one, replace Oreo cream filling with toothpaste. Sort of a similar prank when you think about it. Basically. Devastating. I feel like this one's more immediate, though. That's a devastating prank. 90% of pranks are about replacing one thing with another thing.

Well, the thing about this prank is it's really devastating because you eat the Oreo expecting your teeth to get dirty, but they get clean. And that's why I eat candy is because I like to dirty up my teeth and nasty it up for the dentist. I want to turn them brown. I'm trying to get it. many cavities as I can so that my

dentist Sandra Miles will look at that's my dentist's name actually I'm trying to get my dentist

I'm making my dentist work for his fucking money no she's a lady how fucked up is that her dentist

she's a dentist and her name is S. Miles Wow what a fucking bitch dude my dentist was named

Robert T. Christ what his name was Robert T. He Christ, and if you called him, he called himself Dr. Christ, and if you called him Dr. Christ, he would correct you because he was a devout Christian. Fuck it, dude. I would have named my dentistry office, Teeth Christ. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what his middle name was. Teethus Christ. But he, in the middle of cleaning my teeth once, he left for like an hour to talk to some woman, and then he came back with her, and then he was like, I actually have a cassette of my wife's organ music right here if you want it. I was like, that's why you were fucking gone? Organ, cassette of organ music. That's pretty cool. I wish I had a cassette of organ music.

Yeah. I wish I had a cassette of his wife's organ music. Yeah, could you get me one? I wish I had a picture of his wife's organ. I play her organs and she makes music. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I put a cassette in her. Yeah.

I put a cassette in my wife. I put a cassette in my thoughts to it. And then I plug it in her. I put it into my Commodore 64, and I play my wife's thoughts like a video game. Yeah, I pressed her clit like an eject button, and a copy of Cotor came out. Let's see any comments on this one. Somebody says, if cheesy nachos says about toothpaste and the Oreo, it tastes good, though. It probably, I mean, chocolate and mint, you can't go wrong there.

It would, I mean, it would just taste at first like a mint orio. Yeah. There's another comment from Epic Jake says, I was about to read that. My Colgate Total would make a great replacement. So similar vein. I bet his full name is Jake Colgate. Jake, yeah.

Right? He's out of doing guerrilla advertising. Yeah. He's showing a gorilla in the comments. Not so epic Jake. He's putting an asky gorilla in the car or the Ask 2 gorilla. How about this, Jake? I'm going to go Gorilla on your holes, Mel. And you're not going to like it if you don't stop.

I think gorillas don't do it. I think gorillas, they split you in half. I think chimps are the ones who like the, they like to fuck your hands. I'm doing, I'm going all in guerrilla style. And I'm going to let the listeners decide what that means. You do look like a gorilla because you're fat as shit. I'm not fat. And you have a tiny penis.

You look exactly like a gorilla. It's completely different. You have a giant head, no. Big fat body, you're five foot two, and you have a tiny one. weiner. Okay. Yeah. I don't see any lies. There's, you know, where's the lie? Yeah. The whole thing was the lie. No, none of it's a lie. I just said the whole thing was the lie. No. You're the liar. I'm not a liar. Oh, so first I'm a gorilla and now I'm a liar. Why don't you pick on? You're a flip-flopper, dude. Famous beasts in the zoo. Mm-hmm. Never trust the word of a gorilla. No. You should always trust

the word cocoa one of the most genius creatures of all time she's not even smart that's the ultimate lie is that she doesn't know how to communicate she's making all that shit up yeah no you guys are wrong you guys are wrong you guys are little bugs you're oh you want to talk about bugs you guys are little bugs and i'm gonna show you what it's like to be stepped on i you can't step on us because you refuse to wear shoes i wear a shoes right now call this oh they don't make shoes. You see this? I'm wearing a fucking shirt. They don't make gorilla shoes. Those are my wearing shoes. You're showing me your big hairy gorilla feet. And you love it, dude. You're showing me that you're peeling a banana with your foot. You're not even...

Dude, stop eating bananas. Cameron's sitting on a throne of bananas in his banana car. Because I'm the king, but it's not a gorilla. I'm just a banana king. It's different. Cam is sitting in the banana car from Richard's scary, but... You can like bananas and not be a gorilla. You're in the banana car from the Bloodhound Gang music video. Yeah, yeah. That would be pretty cool. into a tunnel and give Yeah, and you drive into your house that is a, it is a banana, it's a large banana much like a SpongeBob's pineapple house. I would, I would enjoy living in one of those.

Yeah, because you'd eat it all day, you fucking monkey. You don't eat your house. What are you talking about? You have a dull sponsorship like Super Monkey Ball. Yeah, yeah, you, you're, your life is Super Monkey Ball sliding through Boston in a ball collecting bananas. If you lived in a house made out of food, would you eat it? No, I would live in it.

You can't live in your house and eat it, too. What if your house is made out of soiled? I would... Yeah. Which one? Soiland. If my house... I wouldn't eat it. I would live in it. What if your house was made... How do you eat it?

What if your house was made out of gingerbread and your sink only had... And when you turn your sink on it, only had soilent? I would move. I would suck. I would not live there. Okay, well, then what about chocolate milk? Okay. I would move.

And if I had a house that was made out of calzone, like bricks that are calzones from 7-Eleven, and then if you turn on the tap water, it's Powerade blue. I'd eat that. You wouldn't have a, you wouldn't do a Glacier Cherry sink? That's Gatorade, and I've recently been on a Powerade kick. It's a little sweeter. Patrick bites every house he sees them. Check if it's candy. Yeah.

Like you bite a gold coin to see if it's candy. Yeah. Patrick goes up to every single house. Is this what the prospectors would bite gold coins? Yeah. It's not candy. I do that to people's cars, too. Yeah.

You do that to the rims. And to people, too. I do that to the rooms, yeah. I do it to the steering wheel mostly. Yeah. And then if it does work, if it is food, then you eat the whole damn thing. It tastes like a big soft pretzel.

Oh, my God. Could you imagine your steering wheel is a soft pretzel? That'd be awesome. Can you imagine eating cams banana car? Oh, yeah. that he's monkey mind goes absolutely bananas for? No, I can't imagine that. Yeah, and you use a GPS that get this, it's like a Garmin,

and you're pressing it, and it's talking to you, but then when we see it, it's just a banana. It's a GPS, and it means gorillas per second. You have a, you move, you use a banana like a stick shift, and both of the petals, both of the petals are bananas. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's extremely fucked up. No, no, no, I have a race car. I have a race car.

I can drive around town, and that's all I'm going to say on the subject. I dare I say, it's almost Lynchian. You dare not say. Dare I say, no. At the risk of scaring us all, I will invoke the name of David Lynch, the master of horror. It's Kafkaesque. Yes, it's very Ray Romano-like what you're doing in this piece. It's very

Sandler-esque. It's very Sandler-esque. It's very Sandler-esque. It's very Sandler-esque. Somebody shows you their music, and it's just, it's just, oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, and you're like, it's, dare I say it, it's Sandler-esque, what you're doing here. It's incredible.

Every, like, any time somebody, like, sings about, or what's the Havanaughal, just saying that that's Sandler-esque? Going into a reading the Talmud and hanging in Sandler-esque. Something about this text is so Sandler-esque. Yeah. Yeah, just the Hanukkah song. That's the only Jewish thing Adam Sandler ever did. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Not uncut gems, not any. No. Not his, yeah, not his own self. The wedding singer. Sandy Wexler? Oh, my God, Sandy Wexler. all right number two is plant a grass garden on someone's keyboard

the comment the only comment is an anonymous one that just says how would you do that very fair i would say i would say the way you do that is it would i don't think you could do it with just like dirt because they would notice yeah i think there's a possibility you get this done with the chia seed well i think you'd have to do it with plants personally yeah you sucker Fucker. I think what you'd have to do is pick up all of the keys and then put little flower pots in the key slots. That's what I think. What about if you put dangerous spores?

Yeah. Whoa. You make a mushroom garden on the keyboard. Yeah, dark mushrooms and dangerous creatures. You can make a silocybin mushroom farm. Whoa. Keyboard. Right?

Now that's less of a prank and more of a gift, if you ask me. Yeah, yeah, right? The best prank is a gift. I'm gonna grow. It's true. And Nome Shomsky said that.

Yeah. Yeah. No, that's the words from Nome Chomsky. Nome is one of the greatest prank theorists we have. That's what manufacturing consent is about. It's about, yeah, it's about getting consent for a prank, because pranks are never consensual until afterwards. My senior prank in high school had to be,

uh fucking we had to talk to the principal about it and we had to get our prank approved that is not a prank that is an action exactly yeah yeah that's a game that's a plan you can't plan you can't have the teachers in on your senior prank what kind of fucking what kind of fucking fascist bullshit is that yeah exactly dude yeah i'm still i still get heated about it man what was your prank again five years ago did you say oh we we had a rave in a class Dude, that, I mean, of course you need permission for that, dude. People are doing MDMA and fucking and women have straight-edge exes over their tities at raves. You can't, you gotta, that's got to go through a teacher. That's why they put the exes over

that. It's because they're edge. Because they're straight edge, yeah. That's why women have been exing out their nipples at, uh, dead mouse concerts. Yeah, they don't want anybody to offer them a cigarette. Exactly. That's, one of the biggest dangers of rave is you could break edge by smoking a cigarette. Did you guys ever claim to be straight edge? No. I didn't really know what straight edge was, but I would have if I did. I was straight edge, but

I didn't know what it was. I didn't know what edge was. I listened to like straight edge music, but then I was like oh, I don't, like, the straight edge hardcore bands, but then I was like, oh, that sounds so corny. Like I don't, I'm only listening. I was just like a crazy

person in like, middle school and high school. I was just like, yeah, I can't, I can't use any substance that will harm my body in any way. I need to be powerful. I was smoking cigarettes age 12. I am the weapon of the world. I got really close to getting a straight-edge tattoo and I was 13. Oh, fuck, yeah, dude.

Hell, yeah. Hell, fucking, yeah. I was almost talked into it by my, at the time, 20-year-old brother. He was like, dude, it would be so sick if you got a vegan straight-edge tattoo. you'd be like the only 13-year-old with one. Was he going to give it to you? He had a friend who he was like, yeah, he's willing to do it. Oh, my God.

It's so awesome, dude. Dude, that's so fucking funny. I should have done it. It wouldn't have such a funny, like, I have way stupider tattoos now. Right. You know? You should go get it right now. Whatever the, do you have, do you remember what the design was?

He was going to be, it was going to be an XVX. You should get that on your back, but like your lower back. Yeah. I should get on the back of my head in red. Yeah, that'd be cool. But it's one of my biggest regrets. Actually, and I think it was, oh, you know what? I think it was going to be X v. Bike Punk v. X.

Because I was into bikes. That's sick, dude. Yeah. On what? Where? It was going to be on my thigh so my mom couldn't see it. Oh, yeah. Nice.

Yeah. Because you don't let your mom see your thighs? No, yeah, not anymore. Why not? Number three, stick a small paper under a computer mouse so it can block its light. Yeah, that's a classic. I don't think anybody should be blocking anybody's light. We should be building each other up and not breaking, and not breaking the light of humanity.

They wrote this whole thing wrong. You need to be a light worker. Yeah, you need to be a blue-ray indigo child. And you know what, if you... Blue-ray, a blue-ray indigo child? You heard me, motherfucker. I'm an Indica child. Yeah.

That's right. Like Wiz Khalifa. Yeah. Like Devin the dude Like Devin the dude, yeah I would never do this prank Because I think the computer is a human right I did this prank

And they wrote this wrong You gotta use clear tape Why clear tape So they can't see when they look at the mouse And they're like oh what's going on You can't see it So it looks like the laser You have to use a block of wood

Yeah You're actually I think you're supposed to use A small welded metal plate because it's impossible to remove. I heard that's what you're supposed to use. I heard you're actually supposed to replace the mouse with an identical 3D printed mouse that has no electronics inside whatsoever.

And when you turn it over, it releases noxious gas that kills you. Yeah, you're supposed to replace it with a mouse made of pure gold. Yeah. That's the prank. But on the bottom, it has a little faucet that sprays out liquid poop into your face.

Now that's a prank. That would suck, dude. Teachers would love it. I would hate it if my mouse shot. poop at me. Especially if you're testing to make sure it's real gold and you bite into it

and it shoots do-dos at you, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Number four. Paint a bar of soap with clear nail polish. This is a good prank.

Actually, I think we talked about this. I think this was on the list of the first episode we ever did, which was a prank episode. Yeah. It wasn't a prank episode, but it was about... You prank the listeners

by getting rid of you. We prank the listeners by deleting all those episodes. Yeah. We're going to upload them somewhere, but... They'll be somewhere, but they're not worth of time. If you want to hear us trying to figure out what the fuck this show is... Yeah, go back and listen to the...

Not even Patrick, just me and Kayla. Yeah, just me and Cameron. Little did we know the... 20-minute episodes of us? Yeah. The giant puzzle piece we needed was Patrick. And I was only on the... The humongous, fat puzzle piece.

The round-this fucking puzzle piece. Yeah, we were looking at a puzzle. that had just a giant circle in the middle what goes here and then I saw you from across the street and I said him and then yeah then it took a I was a guest on episode four and then it took me uh I don't know what 25 episodes you're on your sneak to sneak it in sneak yourself in with your fucking shitty uh Irish magic yeah you fucking piece of shit dude yeah and now we're married to you. Anyway, so the bar of soap with clear nail polish, this is a prank because if you

touch something with nail polish on it, you become gay. You become old. Yeah, it's a girl thing to have is nail polish. Yeah. So if you walk into the, if you walk into the barbershop and you smell like nail polish, dude, you are going to get clowned on, dude. They're going to cut

your hair into a woman's hair. They're going to give you more hair. They're going to give you extension. They're going to put you in a machine that turns you into a woman like Jeff Goldblooms to fly. You walk into the barbershop Ice Cube is going to fuck you up, dude Yep

What is? Smelling like a woman Smelling like a female He's just slowly becoming a woman over the fly But it still has the brundle fly Like in between stuff The guy

The guy It's just called the guy Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah All right number five here, make a cupcake with mustard on the top instead of frosting.

And there's one comment from Anonymous that says, that sounds weird. I would never fall for this one, dude. There's no yellow, yeah, mustard's like the stinkyest fucking thing in the world. Right. Well, you guys have never had a yellow treat? True. Oh, you've had a yellow treat. I love yellow treat.

You bring the cupcake up to your face, you smell it, and you look at the person and give it to you, say, wait, is this sweet mustard? And then you take a bite, you go, yeah, it's sweet mustard, yeah, go for it. I'd like to see this, but, like, somebody accidentally uses, like, a whole grain mustard for the prank. Yeah, a brown mustard. Why do you got all these pebbles on the fucking food? That's sugar. That's turbinato sugar.

Yeah. I made a chunky icing. Chunky sugar. Number six, cut a paper into an insect figure and put it in a lamp. An insect figure? Yeah, I need to think about what that. means real quick. What the fuck is that? Cut a paper into... Okay, paper I know what that is. A lamp, yeah.

Cut. Insect figure. I don't know. I mean like a paper wasp? Oh, okay. Cut a paper. Okay, make it look like an insect. Yeah. Okay. And then put it into a lamp. Uh-huh. So that the person thinks there's an insect in their lamp. Ah. You know, I was thinking like a paper wasp and then you kind of just like shoot it. Oh, the stinging thing. Uh-huh. Why would you...

If you put a lampshade on your head, and then you get, and then you're standing there with a rubber, with a slingshot and a paper wops. Uh-huh. And as soon as they try to, they're like, oh, my lamp isn't turning on. As soon as they try to pull on your cord, you shoot them. Yeah. And you yell, you yelled, pedophile, because you're a kid.

I would love to get my cord pulled on like a lamp. Yeah. Yeah. If you can do, if you can turn it into anything, though. Why do a bug? Yeah, do like Adolf Hitler. Put a cut out of Adolf Hitler inside the lamp and they'll go

What the fuck? Holy shit, we got to get this guy the freak out of here. You go, Adolf Hitler has come forward in time to kill baby me. No! That's when you unload on that fucking lamp. And that's the break. How bad of a person would you have to be to have

Hitler? time travel to kill baby you really makes you think that is that is making me think yeah yeah where even hitler is even hitler himself is disgusted by you yeah hitler the yeah the epitome of evil yeah would never be disgusted by any person no matter yeah unless they're really evil that's the bar it's just be any jewish guy yeah that's true he tried time travel he would go to the future and just just kill any just kill motion just kill motion Yeah, sure. That's what he had.

That's why he had them experiment on twins. He was trying to figure out how to go. He thought that was the key. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, it was the key. Hitler, what a moron. What a jerk.

That Norm MacDonald joke. Oh, yeah. Number seven here. Yeah. Get a toilet paper roll and put it on the sink. Rip the toilet paper roll into pieces as big as half. of your thumb mold the toilet paper roll without water so it will look like poop after that put the quote poop on someone's chair just poop on their chair poop is not that's not that's a way that's a way better prank yeah just out you lose the arts and crafts feel this is kind of this is a do it yourself arts and crafts prank this is a pinterest prank this is a yeah this is a fusion this is a prank for women who

who like to make things. True. And who also can't poop. So, I mean, you have to be conscious of that. You can make poop out of your ass. I'm saying women can't make poop out of their ass, so they have to make it out of toilet paper roll. Crafting, hand-crafting and artisanal doo-doo is a arts and crafts.

I'm making it. I'm a poop luthier. Yeah. I mean, I do feel like doing a, making a crap is a kind of arts and craft. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Definitely more of a craft than an art.

More of a freaking farts and crafts, if you ask me. Farts and craps? Yeah. I did do. What are you doing? I'm doing farts and craps. I was thinking the other day, my in-laws, I think, because I just, while I'm around them, I just run to the bathroom.

They think, I think I have, like, IBS or something, because I just spend, every time I walk into their house, I'm just like, hey, I have to go to the bathroom for an hour and look at my phone. Yeah, you go in there. They think I have a disease. You walk into their house, and as soon as do they see you, you go, and you run to the bathroom, and you're like, oh, no, I missed! Yeah, I have to keep up appearances, so I do a whole...

I have, like, a recording that I play. Yeah, it's like, you're playing, like, a recording, like, the uncle in Full House, or Home Alone 2, where he's in the shower. Exactly. He's singing Koolberg. Yeah. It's you singing that song, but in the middle, it's just, like, just a bunch of fart sounds in the middle of it.

Mm-hmm. Number eight, find and download a high-resolution crack-screen image on Google Images. What the hell? Set the crack-screen image as a screensaver on someone's computer and set to active after a short period of time. Now this is devilish. Yeah, someone says, Even I wouldn't do this to someone. Now, that would be horrifying.

Yeah. Someone says, ha, you could make it look like their computer screen is cracked. That's a good point Yeah Oh my way That's even fucking worse I didn't even think about that You just took this break to the next level

Are you kidding? I was just thinking how I was just giving them a stupid Yeah I thought it would just be annoying To switch their screensaver They probably worked hard on To say you have to switch it From like a cute picture of like an angel

Writing a motorcycle When someone touches my screen saver I go bananas I go nuts dude I throw the computer I go Cameron-style gorilla I go fucking blunderbuss on their ass dude, I spray on them.

I'm going to go get, hey, if you touch my screen saver, I'm going to give you a taste of my cutlass. Oh, yeah. And you know what a cutlass is? That's a pirate sword. Mm-hmm. I'm going to go piracy. I'm going to commit piracy. I can smell the doubloons on your ass.

No. And I'm sailing into your house to... You better not. And I'm going to get inside your treasure chest and scare you. I'm going to sail it. the seas of all of your toys and take as I please. Uh-huh. I'm going to pillage and plunder your entire toy chest.

I'm going to go to your toy chest and I'm going to pillage and plunder it. Oh, I'm going to fire a big cannon at you. I'm going to go into your snack pantry and I'm going to eat all the grips if you don't fucking watch it. I'm going to take all the... I'm going to take all the oranges, take all the oranges, lemons, and limes, any kind of citrus fruit out of your house. I'm going to get you, you get scurvy. Yeah.

You're not going to have enough vitamin C. I still don't really know what scurvy is. I know it has something to do with vitamin C. Yeah, it's like a vitamin C deficiency and like you get fucked up teeth. It fucks your teeth up? I might have that. Oh, I think I do too. I think I brush my teeth three times this month.

Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah, I woke up this morning after drinking that big ass frozen morgue and my teeth hurt like shit. And you were wearing a sombrero. Uh-huh. Oh, I had a little painting. it on mustache and a big sombrero and I was sitting, I woke up and I went

Oh my God, what did I do last night? I was just talking like Speedy Gonzales. Patrick, you ran really fast. Oh, no. Oh, no, you woke up drunk, dude. You're still talking like Speedy Gonzalez. I'm not drunk.

Patrick, when you drink, you always turn into Speedy Gonzalez. It doesn't matter what you drink. Yeah. Water, orange juice Number nine This is my favorite one Fill the donuts with mayonnaise

One of the ultimate pranks Because we, I mean, so You know the donuts Yeah, you know, yeah You know them You've heard of them You have to fill them with mayonnaise Yeah, the donuts

You commanded, as Christ commanded Fill the donuts with mayonnaise Yeah But do you fill it In the middle? I feel like the only donut this would work for would be a Boston cream. A Boston cream. And then you have to empty it out first. No, every dog, every fucking donuts got a hole in the middle. You fill the hole with mayonnaise.

That's obvious, though. Yeah. Not if you put a cloaking device on the donut. So you have to develop an invisible mayonnaise that not only is invisible. Oh, is that what the movie is? About? Invisible mayonnaise? Yeah, the invisible mayonnaise. So you develop an invisible mayonnaise and you have to have it, it needs to, It needs to learn how to be suspended in the middle of the donut, too. Yeah, it has to be AI.

You need to develop a nannobot mayonnaise. Yeah, a nannase, if you will. Manon, mano banays. Manonase. Manonanonase. Yeah. Mayo nanonase. There we go.

That's a perfect name for the product. Okay, let's make it. Yeah. Manonanonase. Maynoes. And it's, okay, so here's my pitch sharks. It's this, uh, it's an invisible nanobot mayonnaise that you can put, it's bear with me here, in the donuts.

And it smells exactly like pussy. How we're feeling sharks. It's called mano-manonase. It's called mano-bananonase. And it's, and my name is, and that's my name. And I'm mano-bananonase, and it's named after me. All right. So I have to leave now, huh?

Okay. Fine. Number two. You didn't even ask for my offer. my offer you just said yes immediately zero dollars number 10 attaching air horn i just wanted to tell you about my cool invention yeah this is just something i had a dream about and i just okay i didn't even make it going into a shark tank and being like sharks last night i had a dream that a giant snowman chased me and my dad pretty cool huh and i and and if i don't watch a movie today i'll probably have it

again tonight. Number 10, attach an air horn under someone's seat. Where do you get an air horn? The police station. Attach a gun. Attach a stolen service weapon under somebody's seat. Oh my God, I watched the

fucking, I watch the greatest videos. I watched 15 of these today. This guy makes these videos where he just, it's like in Texas. He's like one of these cop watcher dudes. I think his name is Jake Freeman or something That's like his alias

But he just films cops And then he will go up to cops That are like not doing anything Like cops at gas stations or whatever And he'll talk to them like he's a cop So he'll be like So what are you doing out here sir You have any drugs on you

And the cops are just like What are you talking about? And the cops get so fucking mad It's so funny And then they'll start saying the same things back and forth to each other so he'll be like have you had

so the guy the guy with the camera will be like have you had something to drink today sir have you been drinking today and the cop will be like have you been drinking today and then the guy would be like I asked you a question sir it's so fucking funny

he had this one he got this one cop to let him search his car he goes he's like he's like I'm gonna need to see what's in your vehicle And the guy, the cop's like, you need to look in my vehicle.

And the guy's like, yep, I'm going to need to see what's in your bag and stuff. And he's like, okay. And he just shows him everything in the fucking car. It's so fucking fun. That's sick. Yeah, I've been re-watching. I highly recommend him. Caleb, did I ever show you lipstick bail bonds?

Yes, dude. Those, I feel like those are one of the first things I showed you. You tackle guys who have like a, they have like a jaywalking ticket. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's these two, like, middle-aged, like, like, for lack of a better word, like, like Facebook grandmas, who, like, they find people with, uh, they do, I mean, they try to do dog the bounty hunter, but with very low-level crimes. And they immediately, instead of going like, hey, we need to take you in so you can pay your, your bond or whatever, uh, they just say, like, oh, they go in with, fuck you bitch and they pepper spray immediately. They go, the best one is the, the one at the one at the. fucking the Arby's when they go in

with the pellet guns and they're just shooting it with pellet guns. It's so funny. Dude, it's the best. And they all, and they suck. That's the other thing. Because they're like, they're like weak old women. They can't get it. They just like ruin their debt. Yeah. It's just an annoyance at that point.

It's so bad. It's so fucking funny. I love them. What are they called? Lipstick bail bonds? Yeah, lipstick bail bonds. God, that's so good. Number 11, Rick Rowling. Yeah, you know, that's good. That's a classic.

Now, that's a prank. Uh-huh. Maybe the day this comes out, I'll post a Rickroll. Yeah, maybe we should just, maybe there's going to be a surprise at the end of this episode. Yeah, maybe we should end this episode. You know what? I'll save that. Mm-hmm.

We can talk about that. There may be a surprise at the end of this episode. Yeah, you might get a nice Rickroll. Mm-hmm. Number 12, put frosting and sprinkles on a sponge. so it looks like a cake. Who falls for that? I would fall for that.

I would never. I would never fall for that. I would say it's a sponge cake. I am so aware and so actualized, I almost never fall for pranks. I'm very good at avoiding them. I dodge pranks like Neo. Yeah.

I'm better at traps than pranks, which I find is much more important and useful in life, so it doesn't really bother me. You're better at being caught in traps that are a giant cage with a stick propping up one side and there's a banana in the middle of it. Mm-hmm. Because you're a gorilla.

Because you have a monkey brain that desires a banana, like I desire money. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You try to pay with banana peels. Yeah, banana peels are money to you. No. They're a piece of trash.

You work in the banana peel economy. No. Yeah. No. You do. No. You work on the dull standard. Yeah.

I do not. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I work. You're trying to get us back on the banana standard like we used to be in the in in uh 1600 bc i'm gonna make you get on my banana standard and bc stands for before cameron before cameron ever doesn't exist i was i've always you've always been what are you've always there's just people walking around i mean i'm in

there's people i want to look at the people who are walking around look at something cool on your computer like uh like i don't know your friends no you guys aren't cool you're two friends what i'm way more interested in looking at this guy with a big umbrella oh you're interested in looking at a guy yeah he's looking at the guy oh he's looking at the guy is he a zookeeper and he's taken care of you yeah yeah cameras in his cage yeah cameras in my car cage he's grabbing the the bars going whoo hoo hoo hoo back and i've i haven't done that ever you have you muted your microphone but we still i can't i don't know how to mute my microphone because you're a gorilla yes but you admit i can't you're not smart enough so i never would have made that noise

Yeah, but you're still a gorilla. I'm not a gorilla. There's a good prank here. Number 14, I'm going to skip ahead. Take out the batteries of the remote. Hide all the batteries in the house. But before that, change the channel something to something like bubble guppies or my little pony. Oh, and turn it on max volume.

Oh, God. They just had to put the last nail on the coffin there. That is fucked up. That is devilish. That's diabolical, dude. Bubble guppies on max volume? Yeah, I'm going to freaking kill myself. I'm going to shoot a laser beam into my head if I have to listen to that.

Yeah, if I have to watch backyard agains and over and over again. Yeah. I'm going to laugh and clap my hands, but I'm not going to like it. That's my torture response. I laugh and clap like a seal. Yeah, and I go, this is the best show ever, but I don't mean it. Yeah, I'm actually just really, I'm hating it, but I'm so sarcastic. that I can't help it.

Oh, this show is so good. I forgot to watch it. I forgot to laugh. I'm actually crying because of how bad it is. Yeah. You skipped over. I do really like number 13 that you skipped that. Number 13 is, give someone a crispy cream box and put vegetables inside.

That's the donuts. That's evil. You know what the biggest? I would say the biggest prank is when somebody gives you a toothbrush for Halloween. Damn. Right? Put that in your bag. I think I think a worse one is putting razor blades in the candy. I think that's a much bigger Halloween prank. That's not even a prank. At least they're in

candy. That's true. You can't melt the candy down and then freeze it back together. Or you just, if you just carefully like me, like I always hated Tutsi Pops because I don't like the Tutsi roll in the middle. So I would just lick down to like the last layer around the Tutsi roll.

Where the razor blade is. That's exactly. It'd be the same concept. Yeah. yeah see you've been defeated yet again i've never been defeated all right i guess that's the list i guess that is the list we finished it up oh you got a bunch of patrons to read oh fuck we do don't we

yeah god hey that's good you know that's a i mean it's good yeah yeah fuck oh i hate this so much the last the last time we uh read these was on st patrick's day right what day was st patrick's day right

what day was st patrick's day 17th the 17th oh god yeah uh-huh damn that's like a whole that's we might have like 50 damn we have a ton let's go this all right wait i'm finding the beginning let's see here 17th 17th 17th so we read the okay all right all right i got it you guys should i just go through these yeah wait let me find it too it starts on march 18th with uh the first our first page we're reading jack lustig Thank you. Jack Lustig, thank you, Jack Lustig. Danny.

Thank you, Danny. This is a dash, dash, dot, dash, dash. Some Morse code kind of person. Dash dash. Dash. Dot dat. It's a dot. It's a period and a dash.

It's dat fan. Thank you, Dat fan for becoming a patron. Thanks you, dat fan. Thank you, Dat fan. Young Zoe. Thank you, Young Zoe. Colin Caneel Thank you, Colin Caneli

Seth, thank you, Seth. Seth, my apse, my bitch, dude. Seth McFarlane. Seth, you, my bitch, dude. Mm-hmm. Oh, I went too far back. Andrew Chan.

Thank you, Andrew Chan. Um, Jeff. Jeff, my name Jeff. You guys like that one? Yeah, from Jeff Dunham. My name Jeff. From Jeff Dunham, the movie. Uh-huh.

Peter Job, thank you. Thank you, Peter Job. I will give you a Peter. Thank you to Sandy Rag for upgrading that fucking pledge, baby. That's what I like. That's what I like to see, Sandy. Thank you, Zero Ice. Zero Ice.

More like very nice, because it was very nice of you. Sarah Henning, thank you to Sarah for, for, I don't want to play with that name, never mind. Matthew Whitman. Matthew Whiteman. Matthew Whiteman. Thank you, Mattie, Matthew Whiteman. Matthew White, man. Christian Tiberi, to Barry.

Christian to Barry good. Yeah. Christian, Christian de, uh, yeah. Christian de Pimp. Patrick Miles. Patrick Miles. I would love to walk a mile in your shoes, my friend. Thomas de Groff.

Great cartoons, great drawings by Thomas. No, nothing on their name. We can't just. great cartoons. Great cartoons. Stupid name. Kauai Leonard, thank you for...

Thank you. I love your work. Dan Salet. Salé? Man, you just suck at reading names. Oh, man. I hope that we read that right. Thank you to Leo Giffinowitz.

Yeah, oh, Leo Giffinowitz. Just absolutely bawling out, dude. The ultimate podcast of the About List baller of the month. Yeah, I would say easily baller of the month. Baller of the year, you know? Yeah, he's the man.

Ryan Whitesell. Oh, Ryan White's... You know we fucking Ryan. Uh-huh. Shout out Ryan. Andy Piss. Andy Piss. Thank you so much, Andy Piss.

Fresh cut fries. That's the best kind of fries. Thomas Donovan. It's cool. Thomas Donovan. Van Nice. Ventriloquist. Uh-huh.

There we go. Joshua Van Beekam Joshua, you got a funny ass name, my man I respect you Alex That was smart to not put your last name on here Sout Sout

Thank you Sout Nicole Trant $10, thank you Thank you Cameron heck That's my boy You should listen to his band XRX

The Bandcampcom really good math core We'll shout that out Michael Man, we got my middle name subscribing, man. We got a lot of more people to read. John Smith, I love your work in Pocahontas. Yeah, I love your colonial style. Uh-huh.

Hannah, shout out to Hannah. Shout out to Shane Gillis. Shane Bell. Shout out to Shane Gillis. Seth Combrink. Shout out Seth Combrink. Shout out, Jace. I wonder if that's that racist guy that I know from New Orleans.

I'll say no. Shout out to Jace. Avery Edison. Shout out to Avery Edison. Yeah. Richard Murphy. I know Richard. Richard made a post about being a patron about how they made $100.

Richard, shout out to you. Andrew Perry. Shout out to Andrew Perry. Shout out to Hans. Arbitts and Hicks. I'm going to say that's our only. Hans, so we could probably just get away with saying Hans. Yeah, that's true.

Shout out to Commander Bacon 2012 for subscribing to us on YouTube. Thank you, Commander Bacon. We got... Shout out to David. That's my dad. And then also David Tamborello, two David in a row. Oh, yeah, we had a David back-to-back-to-back-to. Nick Vasotsky, thank you.

Shout out. Shout out to Wide Jim. Shout out Wide Jim, baby. Why, Jim? I'll say you have the best name. on this thing. So far, yeah. Alex Freyer. Shout out Alex Freyer. Sean.

Shout out to Sean. Lander Pridgin. Lander Pridgin. And Will Scurbo. Oh, shout out to Larry Jay. Oh, yeah. Thanks, Larry. Oh, yeah. The podcast about List official accountant.

Yeah, we have an accountant who's helping me figure out how to not get fucked by the IRS. I respect you. Yeah, go follow Larry on Twitter. Yeah. What is his at? It's Larry J or something. To search Larry, I'm sure you'll find it. Underscore Larry J underscore.

That's the official pot accountant. We love you. Yeah. So that's... Oh, and we're going to change the $10 tier, I think. Oh, we are? Yeah. Oh, okay.

We talked about this, Patrick. Why can you say that like a question? Well, we just did this after the patrons read. I don't know if they're going to... Should we edit this? so this goes before the patrons read? No, we'll just talk about it. We'll just post about it also.

Yeah. Okay, so just want him a heads up. Yeah. The $10 tier is changing. Uh-huh. The $10 tier is changing to what? Uh, to your fat ass getting eaten by a little tiny goblin guy. Oh, damn it.

Fucking bitch. Wait, Cam, what's that behind you? What? You have someone... There's someone knocking on your window. What are you talking about? What the fuck? Who is that?

Oh, no. No! Oh my god Oh my god They shot Cameron in the head They just shot Cameron Fuck we're just kidding Oh my god

April fools We got you Fucking bitch Oh my god You guys are so stupid You just are so stupid You're all so stupid You're all fucking idiot dude

You are all fucking stupid Oh my god I am in my car though And it's really cold in here And I'm gonna get out Alright Bye Bye

Bye Bye