Podcast About List - Ep. 95 - Revenge of Traxis (w. Bill @prophethusband)

Episode Date: April 15, 2020

we buss down a liss of cool names and shit and talk guns and drugs and shit. follow Bill on twitter @prophethusband subscribe to www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist for more content

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Podcasts to the model list. You're any crap monster. Okay. Yeah. Woo! All right. We're here with, we got Bill on the line.

We're zooming. We're zoomed up. Mm-hmm. First international call we've done. Yeah. This is crazy. We're going worldwide, baby. Yeah.

Podcast about this. Podcasts about this worldwide. The world domination episode. First European, yeah. No. Leo. Oh, Leo, yeah.

What am I thinking? Yeah. Well, no, he's British. That does not count. That's true. That is actually true. Yeah, that is a good point. First good European.

Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. But yeah, Bill, thank you for coming, you know. Have you been, what's it? What is shit like in? What country do you live in? Sweden.

Sweden. Yeah. What's shit like there? Are you guys trapped inside? Well, it's kind of, we're getting, our government is getting critique from everyone right now because we haven't really done anything. Nice. You seem to be, you know, chilling. Yeah.

I mean, everything is kind of open. They're sort of just expecting everyone to not go outside. And I don't think it's working that well. But a lot of people are getting sick disproportionately from, you know, other. Scandinavian country so probably going to lock everything down nice dude I'm excited probably the good way to go but you guys like you guys don't have like guns or anything nope unfortunately not I really want to have a gun yeah yeah can you like will they put you in jail for saying that on a podcast no it's not they will kind of I mean today I was out

I wanted to get some like it's some kind of tile in all or something but I couldn't but I couldn't find anything good and i just i would trade every single part of this you know shitty socialist welfare state for just access to guns and uh like a Tylenol with codeine or something yeah so you so you want to live the socialism doesn't matter to you it guns and drugs exactly i feel like if i if you have a gun you can make your own socialism that there we go yeah we need Dude, we got a fly bill out to Arizona and just let them just, like, drop you in Albuquerque, like a battle royale game out of a helicopter, and just be like, just see how much damage you can cause before they extradite you to, like, some IKEA living room.

Just carve out new Sweden. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, it sounds, uh, sounds awesome. You're drinking some made-up beer? Yes. I see. What's it called? Hinglehoffer or something? Hothstetter.

Hocken, buddy. Okay. Hopping buddy. No, the hopping buddy. It sounds delicious. I'm drinking at Coors Light, you know. Yeah, 3 a.m. or 3 a.m. I thought, yeah, 3 a.m. Fuck.

There's nothing wrong with that. There's a light beer. It's like doesn't count. Exactly. Yeah, it might as well be a Diet Coke. which I'm also drinking. So I have both. You should mix them. You should put them in a cup and mix them. That's what I'm doing.

I'm mixing them in my mouth, though. I take one sip and then the other. You should get like a straw system. Yeah. What I should do is get one of those funny hats that holds two cans. Genius. And put one in both. That's what those are for for mixing drinks.

That's right. That's how bartenders mix the drinks. They asked for a rum and coke. They put one can of rum and one of Coke. They suck it in and then spit it into a glass. Did you imagine a can of rum? Yeah. They probably have that.

That feels like a certain thing. Yeah. A can of rum. Do you guys have bag milk? No. No, you're not that weird. No, I lived in Canada for a while, and I saw that there, and it's wild. It's so weird.

Yeah, it just doesn't. It looks like they took that out of the cow. just surgically remove the bag of milk the milk membrane out of the cow it's like those extraterrestrial maimings when someone's cut out the like the vagina of a cow or something yeah exactly

did you just cut out the milk bag and do you just cut off a corner I've never no it has it just got a nipple on it yeah so it's to get it's to get the full cow experience yeah it's pink Yeah, it's a pink bag full of white goo.

Yeah, it's not even milk. Oh, fuck. It's bag milk. It's a different liquid. Yeah, it's not from a cow. It's from a bag. It's where they get it from. God, dude.

I'm so glad I live in America, the greatest country on earth. Yeah. I wouldn't live anywhere else. We've got to get you out here, Bill. We've got to move you out here. That would be sick. Let's do it. We're just going to, we're going to.

funnel the Patreon money to you and fund your reality TV show about you in America we're going to make the podcast about list compound yeah yeah exactly like like the

what's his name like Anthony David Koresh or yeah no we're going to make a compound media but it's part about list oh okay you say Dave Anthony no I said

the guy from the dollar Yeah, the guy from the dollop. I hate you, dude. I'm sick of you. I'm sick of you already. I'm replacing you with Bill. You better not. All right.

Yes. Yes. We don't need... Yeah, Pat's too fat for us. I'm not too fat. Yeah, Bill is like... Bill's perfect. He's right in the sweet spot.

We're going to move Patrick to Sweden and Bill here. Do you honestly? Patrick is Sweden. Just me trying to fucking navigate Just him trying to buy a $50 pack of cigarettes Using American money He's confused why it doesn't work I can happen

God he's just standing up Fucking speak English dude I don't know what you're saying They are speaking English to you You're like speak English you fucking Mexican You know how you are, Pat? Yeah. You know how I'm always saying?

You're always racist? Yeah. All right. We have a list today from the top tens. It's, um, do you have it up, Bill? It's top ten coolest names. Yes. Yeah, I, nobody, none of us have, uh, very interesting names at all.

My middle name's Edward. So is mine. Uh, shit. Fuck you, dude. God damn it is your name is your middle name also Edward bill it's steig but I mean Steeg okay that's cool all right we got a cool one yeah yeah all right out of all of us all of us all have three names and one of us has one cool one it's steegh that's the coolest one a fucking Skyrim name yeah I love it though it sounds good yeah um yeah my middle name is Michael it's

just a, it's a baby's name. Yeah, that's a name for a little kid. I know. You look like a big baby. No, I don't. Yeah, you do. I will. I think I'm gonna shave my head today. Dude, if you shave your head, you're gonna look like fucking baby New Year. You should shave your head. You should pull out all your teeth except for

the one of the front teeth. One? It's just a one. Like a baby. Like a cartoon. You should have one, should have one curly hair on top of your head. You get one big curly cartoon hair. You should look like that monkey from Super Monkey Ball with the big spiral ears? No, I'm not going to look like that.

I'm going to look like Jason Statham, the transporter. And I'm going to do stuff like he doesn't crank my voltage. You're going to be a transporter, but you're going to roll around in a monkey ball. No, I will not roll around in a monkey ball to protect the person. You're going to go collect bananas for a shadow corporation. I have no interest in. collecting bananas. I just want to shave my head and do

cool ninja stuff, which I am going to do. I'm going to do, what kind of British, he does, what kind of kung food does Jason Statham do? Is he trained? You say murder food? Yeah. Is that what you, if you kill anybody with karate, it's a new thing?

That's like what John Wick does. It's like murder food. Like he, you know, he does like some sort of kung fu thing, but it involves shooting people. Is that you get a gun? Is that real? Is that a real thing? It's like bullets with your hands. Sounds like a real thing. It does

sound. I will give you that much, Bill. It does sound real. Yeah. You go into like a kung fu learning place and being like, no, I want to learn murder food. It's called a dojo. Is it called a dojo?

I'll let that slide. Isn't a dojo Japanese? No, you're thinking of Mojo Jojo, the Japanese monkey from the Powerpuff girls. You. No. Short little monkey. That's you, dude. You're an evil green monkey.

No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Which one are you saying, Pat? Who's, who are you saying it is? What? Mojo Jojo. If anyone looks most like Mojo Jojo, it's got to be you. It's got to be Bill. No. I have no idea what you guys are talking about. You've never seen, I guess you didn't grow up, did you grow up watching any American cartoons? Yeah, the Simpsons. All right, we'll stick to the Simpsons. That's a frame of reference for a movie.

American cartoons. I've seen like two episodes of King of the Hill. Oh, you've got to get on that, dude. Yeah. We watch King of the Hill. We'll have you on again and just do King of the Hill stuff. We'll only reference King of the Hill.

Yeah, absolutely. Just so you get it. The Swedish version of King of the Hill is called Lord of the Mountain. Exactly. Yeah, that's the dubbed version. Yeah. Lord of the Steak. It's called Steeg of the Hill.

Yeah, and it's eight guys in a backyard, all sipping whatever fucked-up beer baths. Just going, da. That's German, man. They're all the same to me. I don't know. Is that Russian? Da is Russian. Unless it's also German.

Da means dad. What? No. Da doesn't mean dad. Yeah, it does. It's Scottish. You're thinking of da-da, which is baby language. Yeah, that's what Patrick calls.

his dad. Yeah, that's what I call my dad. Dada. I call my dad Dada. So, Bill, if the Simpsons is your frame of reference, just know that in this podcast, Patrick is Ralph Wiggum. I'm Homer and Cameron is a poo. Okay.

I was going to say that Cameron was Marge. No, he's definitely a poo. Get to know him. He's a poo. He really is. I think he should do the accent right now. He does it off mic. He does it off mic.

Right now he's doing a voice because he went to... I feel insecure about my accent. Yeah. About my real accent. I like to cover it up when I'm recording. Yeah, he thinks people will get the wrong idea about him if he does the accent. Yeah, they'll stereotype him based on his accent. Yeah.

All right. Top ten coolest names. Number one, Neo. Right off the bat. Yeah, I mean, I guess my question would be like, is there any other Neo besides? It's not really a name.

I've never met a guy who's like, hi, I'm Neo. I've never had like a waiter at Olive Garden with a Neo tag. What about the singer? Oh. I think there's, I think he has periods between the, you know, it's, it's an N-E-Y-O, I think. Oh, I'm pretty sure. And it's short for Neil Young. Yeah.

Neo just is, yeah, I guess it is a cool name. I'm not sure it's number one. The first few comments on this are insane. There's, the one comment here says, the only Neo that I know is a psychopathic dog that likes eating fire and literally tries to catch bullets. I'm surprised that he's still alive, especially after attempting to eat a bottle

rocket that was about to launch. Someone's dog names Neo. Someone named their dog after fucking the Matrix, dude? Come on. That's boss. And then it tries to catch bullets. This dog has no idea what Neo's supposed to do. He's supposed to dodge bullets.

Not the opposite. But it was about to launch the ball rocket, so in my head he's picking it clean out of the air. That's impressive, yeah. Yeah, he jumped up, fucking grapins. And the comment right after that says, I think it sounds like a big cat that was born in every month of the year.

I don't know. What that could mean? Yeah, that might be a reference. to something that we just don't know. I would love to be friends with a cool name like this. Someone says love my daddy. Dark Night. Daddy's name is Neo.

Dark Night 2005 comments. Every time I hear Neo, I think of a Matrix. A Matrix. Also, did the Dark Night come out in 2005? I think it came out 2008. Yeah. Sorry, wrong. Bad username.

One person here says one word. Matrix. This name makes me think of only one movie. The Matrix. Somebody says, I feel this name would go with any personality. I don't think that's true. No, mostly just a guy who's... Mostly just Keanu Reeves.

Yeah, mostly just Keanu Reeves. Someone says It just said It just sounds cool I mean that's true That's as simple as it needs to be Yeah Yeah

Yeah we're overthinking it It just sounds cool Yeah Somebody says LOL my name's Neo My favorite is I dated a Neo once He was obsessed with porn

Hold on baby I have to go watch porn And then he just plugs his computer In the back of his fucking head Someone here Comes his pants Comes starts bleeding out of his eyes Someone else on this fucking

Someone else just said Piper is a cool name on Neo It's just a different fucking name Add it to the list then you fucking bitch Yeah somebody says dog name One dog Yeah

A dog who catches fireworks I assume with his mind Like the real Neo All right, number two, Bruno That sucks That's not a good name Yeah, is that, that's a, is there a lot of Bruno's in your life? Um

I don't think there's ever been a Bruno in my life No, let me introduce you to a little movie Uh, by a man named Sasha Baron Borat He, oh shit, I watched Borat yesterday For the first time? No, no, no, no, no, for 11th time. It's still great Oh it's the best movie ever

Every single time I smoke weed I have like a panic attack in my brain And then I look at my girlfriend And I say I have to watch Borat The only cure Yes it is the only cure I wrote a I had to write an academic paper

And I didn't know what to do it on For my fucking sex and comedy class And I just wrote it about Borat What was your thesis? It was called a sex and comedy class And I needed to fill a credit So I took that And I don't remember

Don't act like you're trying to fill a credit No you wanted to take it You wanted to take that class I did I did before I went to the first class And the guy was like If you take out your phone I'm gonna mark you absent

So why didn't you switch Because it was the day after the ad drop date If it was the first class it couldn't have been It was because we No a Memorial Day. Patrick, Patrick, uh, was the teacher of the class. No, I wasn't. He was. I did not teach the class. He taught it. Yeah, he would bring in, uh, you'd bring in various silicone toys and fuck them in front of the class while he's laughing like

the Joker. And that was the whole class. And then everybody got an F. Yeah. An F for fucking. And yeah. I gave them, I gave all my students F for fucking because it's a sex class. I want to know more. about this class? It was just academic bullshit. It was just like, oh, well,

fucking... It was like that, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, just shit like that. All MLA formatted, just do, do, do, do, do, do. But, uh, I got a D minus in that class. Who. Nice.

It's because you weren't good enough at sex with the teacher. No. No, it's because I hate sex. Yeah. The pop quiz at the end. Yeah. Have fun. Money sex.

But, yeah, Bruno, bad name. Not a good name. There's a comment here that says, because there aren't enough gay words already. Yeah. Throw another, yeah, fuck it. Throw another one on the pile. Bruno.

Yeah, we already have Steeg. You throw Bruno on there. I'm sorry, Bill. That's all right. I'm a monster. Oh, Bruno Mars. Oh, Bruno Mars That's one of the comments is I like

Bruno because he is like the singer Bruno Mars But I didn't even think about Bruno Mars I forgot about him I like the person who says This list is terrible I can think of a better name How about Adolf?

I like the prospector It's apparently in here Yeah He got on Twitter He was like I'm hopping on the job tens Yeah, top 10 easiest post offices to shoot up. God, he would crush it on this website, dude.

Yeah. Someone says sounds like a very 80s disco dancer with an alfro and sideburns. An alfro? Yeah. That's when Alf sits on your head. Yeah, yeah, when he sits his asshole over your head like a cap. Yeah, and he sits there and he's like, hey, what am I, chop liver? You know, classic Alf shit. Is that what he says?

I never watched Alf. That wasn't really my scene. The dad from Alf, I remember finding this out as a kid. The guy who played the dad on Alf was addicted to crack. There is a video of him. That's boss. There's a video of him with a sex worker smoking crack. I mean, wouldn't you also be addicted to crack if you were an actor?

If you had to, his most popular co-star was a fucking monster. If you were Alf's dad. Some ardvark. If you had a baby that was Alf. Yeah, if you had to deal with Alth's bullshit all day, you might smoke crack too. That's true.

This guy with his fucking snout trying to eat my cat all day. Yeah, he was never the same after Alth ate his cat on set. Alth started hanging up signs on set that it was like, Tuesday, bring your cat to work.

the last comment on bruno is um is a little poem here it says it says beautiful poem yeah it says bruno wow amazing bruno just sounds so awesome bruno has some amazing flare to it it's really beautiful that is that's incredible yeah i want to put that on a card put that on a card and give it to my friend bruno no uh number three this is is a terrible name Holden Yeah Someone's read a book Yeah

I know a lot of A lot of homeschooled Holdens Yeah That's probably not good If your name is Holden If your name is Holden they make you homeschooled They're not allowed to go to normal school

Because if you go to public school Then you'd get set Your name would turn into Holden my balls Yeah I do think kids with With stupid names should They just shouldn't be allowed to go to public school.

It's just for their own sake. You know, you shouldn't be around other children if your name is Holden or suck my or, you know, something like that. Or like Jeffrey Homo or something like that. Yeah, Peter Gawah. Just don't let the kid. Yeah. Homosexual Michael. Kids are going to take that the wrong way.

Yeah. You know, Black David. It's just not. not a good black is it is that a celebrity in the country bill black david black david is something like that right he's santa claus's friend yeah that's uh what that's uh uh a dutch thing right yeah yeah sports of schwarzza peter yeah yeah exactly black peter yeah yeah but he wouldn't be

allowed in public school mr poop if your kid you name your kid mr poop yeah cartman You're asking for a world of trouble sending your kid Cartman to school Just a bad idea Yeah Let's see the comments

That's my name Holden MacCock Nice See what did I tell you That's just a bad idea Just all around What are you doing holding Number four is Miles

That's a pretty normal name Yeah, that was sucks Or I'm sorry, Bill, meters Ah Ah ha ha ha You got it Oh fuck dude God damn

Caleb lay off the guy Yeah, come on man I'm sorry Come on here As a sign of You know As a gesture Good faith

And I do anti-Swedish racism to you He'll the fractures Between our nations And You're gonna start war, Caleb. Yeah, this is a, this, you came, this is a diplomatic mission, and I'm failing. The Swedish state is paying me to be here.

Yeah, we're trying to, yeah, we're trying to heal the, the divide between America and Sweden. The huge divide. Miles, I just think of tales. Yeah. From Sonic. Miles Prower. Yeah. He says, this guy is the beast.

I know a guy named Miles. He's good at no scoping me from Eli HBK. It's fucked up. Someone says I always use this in my books. Miles has good manners, and that's what matters. It's nice, dude. I don't think I've ever met him, Miles, honestly. It's my nephew's middle name.

It's kind of a, I feel like that's like a smart guy name. Oh, this kid Miles that went to summer camp with me in middle school used to pretend to be a dog. Yeah, what I say. It's a name of a very intelligent guy. I don't think of Mickey Miles or Mickey Miles or whatever you said. Oh, Mikey Miles is definitely. Mickey Miles. I'm just imagining him with big Mickey Mouse ears.

Yeah, that's what we call Mickey Mouse. house here. It's Mickey Miles. Number five, Trinity. I mean, I don't know what... Yeah. The Morpheus is going to be later on this kind of... It's funny that, like, Neo is a name I've never heard. Trinity is a name I've heard probably 50,000 times in North Carolina. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. It's just people with like... For real? Trinity?

Yeah, yeah. So it's like a, like a girl with a nose ring who's been pregnant for like 15 years and has like a um has like a tattoo on the small of her back that says like brad in tribal font yeah is it like a similar name to like nevea would you say similar like nevaia navaya is a crazy nevaia is awesome it's heaven backwards oh fuck you never heard that one never that was a big thing for a while yeah yeah yeah it's like a white trash name i think damn that's good For me, it's Trinity Crystal. Yeah. Crystal is just a crazy name.

Yeah, that's after the hot sauce. Yeah. No, it's after the sliders. What is the crystal slider? What the fuck is that? It's a food chain in the South. Oh. Well, don't fucking, don't come up in here talking about southern food chains.

Yeah, me and Bill are the only Southerners here. Yeah. Bill's a Southerner heart. Yes. yeah we've talked about this he wants uh he wants uh 40 acres in a mule i want 40 acres a mule and an insane cachet of weapons yeah yeah he wants like a he wants a sentry gun yeah exactly and i want to die and like some sort of shootout with the ATF yes the aquatine hunger force

It's, I love, I just, Bill in America, just, like, searching for the ATF, weapons and guns, just drugs, just, like, he flies into Miami and just, like, three hours later, he's sitting on a big throne of cocaine. Yeah, a castle built of skulls. He's like, come at me, ATF, I fucking, it's just dark souls. blew all the way out here. I got a warthog from Halo. Yeah. Yeah. Trinity, is there any good comments on it?

Reminds me of the Matrix and the Holy Trinity. Love it. Christian Matrix fan. Reminds me of Christians. Love that. Love that shit. Trinity is such a cool name. I picture a powerful slash pretty girl wearing a purple dark hood.

You should definitely agree with me. Well, it's your true. choice i even used this name on builder buddies the fuck is builder buddies it's like bob the builder it's a game you made it's the bob the builder battle royale that'd be a good game that would be sick dude you get to be i would go crane i would try to be a crane yeah yeah i guess or a bulldozer i'd be bob the thing is all of them they have they have faces so they can easily be you know they have brains it's true I like the person who said, I named my tinfoil person, Trinity.

What the fuck is a tinfoil person? You never made a tinfoil person? Why is it called? I imagine some sort of figurini make, but why would you call it a person? Yeah, a tinfoil being that I made. This is my tinfoil cousin? Tinfoil nephew. Yeah, I don't know what a tinfoil person is.

Is that a thing? I don't know. You just make a, you know, I mean, yeah, I can guess what it is. No, you can't. You're not that imaginative. There's someone commented something in a different language. I'm trying to translate it.

That looks like Polish. It's, uh, it is Slovak. And it says, he read it and knows the Slovak is cool. So on, on Trinity, somebody just posted it they have the coolest language. Is that a Slovakian name? Trinity? I don't think. I think it's an English word.

That's the name of their president. Yeah. Trinity Slovakia. Trinity, Suvlaki. Yeah, Suvlaki. Number six, lady. No. No.

It's a worse name. That sucks. Yeah. That's like naming your kid like oven. Man. Yeah. It's like naming your kid, man. It's like naming your kid, oven?

There's a clear, there's a clear opposite of lady. I thought that was too obvious. So you went oven. Patrick likes to go for the niche jokes. It's kind of a comedian's comedian. I'm kind of a crazy guy.

Lady. Someone says lady in the tramp. I love that movie. This is a good name for a girl dog, but not for a human dog. I agree. That's not a human, that's not a human being. Yeah, ladies are not human beings. You heard it here first. Yeah. Someone just says, if you say rubbish, you are rubbish. Whoa. And then under it, it says rubbish stupid.

Which, I like to imagine the first one came first. Yeah. Yeah. And that person is just, just spitting in their face. Well, they're just calling rubbish stupid. So the name lady isn't very good. but how about naming your kid The Tramp Oh Naming your kid Any honestly If you just add

The to their name Whatever you decided on You're like The Brad This is my son The Brad I'm naming my kid The son

The son Yeah What about the oven Now that's funny Hey yo That'd be some nuts-o shit Pat, you suck, dude. No, I don't.

You suck so bad. Nah. You trash. Yeah. You're rubbish. You better. You know what happens if you say someone's rubbish, Pat? You know what that means?

It means you're rubbish. Don't agree. I agree. All right, number seven is Emily. No. There's such a huge drop-off from Neo. I talk shit on Neo. Neo is the only cool name.

The thing is, there's a direct correlation. of like cool and commonality or uncommonality like the more common a name is the less cool it is. That's why Neo is number one because there's only one Neo. Well everyone is naming their damn kid. Everyone is naming their damn kid Neo after the Matrix dropped. Oh you know that's what happened. The Neo boom? The Neo boom is 1999. The Neo boomers?

Yeah. There's got to be 50 or 60 of them. The Neo boomers. Just all working at GameStop. They don't even have to apply. There are diminishing returns on this list. I mean, we start with Neo, which obviously, that's the coolest name. That's boss, yeah.

It should be number one. Then Bruno, which I don't personally agree with, but it's at least different. Then we go to Holden, Miles, and then we come up with another cool one, Trinity. Then Lady, and now we're at Emily. Was it just going to keep going? Yeah, it's a huge drop-off to Emily. yeah yeah this one has a lot of comments though probably a lot of people pointing out the obvious

somebody says I think it is a stop it name and you're right this is extremely this is dumb oh stoppid I will say it no someone says my sister's name laugh out loud

someone someone maybe the same guy just says she's hot she's hot Emily? Oh Emily She's hot, dude She's hot as shit Oh my God

Oh there's one comment here saying Listen to these different spelling There's spelling of Emily E-M-I-L-E Or E-M-M-A-L-E-I-G-H What do you guys think of those ones? That is the old

That is even more white trash than like crystal It's like just adding trying to do like searching the way they spell their names is they search it on Google and then look at the phonetic spelling yeah and they just use that it's like it's like it's like latin they just add add vowels after every consonant and this it also is twin girls name them emily and everly or emily and everly are this spelled different again everly can you imagine that everly geez no that's It's like a, that's a, what about neverly?

What? These are my daughters, Everley and Neverley. They're twins. We like one more, obviously. Number eight, Jason. But it's spelled, Jason, but spelled J-A-C-E-N. Yeah, no, this is, this is from the Star Wars, the original Star Wars EU. This was Hans Solo's, this was Hans Solo's sons.

name. Really? Later became Darth Cades. Darth Cades, huh? So it's different from Kylo Ren? Gatus. Yeah, Darth Gaitis.

Oh, there we go. Yeah. Darth Gatisson. Yeah. Gason holo. Gason homo. Yeah. That's what I would call him if I was

in Star Wars. Yeah, I would have said that to... I would have said that to Han Solo's face. I would have said that, and he would have forced choke. me and I wouldn't care. So based on... You're choking another man?

Kind of gay, buddy. Based on Jason Solo, Patrick, is this a cool name? Is Jason Solo a cool guy? No. Cool. Not really. He, um...

God, what was... Oh, yeah, he just became, uh... He became a Sith Lord and, uh... That's cool. I think he was responsible for killing Chewbac. or something that's extremely cool that's sick yeah i don't look i don't remember much about the story of jason solo all you know is whoever killed chubaka is not not cool yeah yeah patrick is not cool in love with chubaca jubaka is cool he looks like uh your mom no what yeah i'm serious

dude and he sounds um like your mom you he sounds like you sounds like your mom he sounds like you Yeah, your mom walks around your house with a crossbow and shoots you if you don't do your chores, like Chewbacca. That's true. And then she walks into her bedroom and I eat her pussy and she does the... It's called a bowcaster, you idiot. No, she has a crossbow. It's a bowcaster in Star Wars. Just like she's Chewbacca and Star Wars and she's your mom in real life.

No. God, you ate shit right then, baby. Yeah, I did. I didn't. You know what? It takes a big man to admit it. Yeah, you got to say, I turned your mom into Chewbacca, and then I fucked her. You got to admit it. Admit it. I'm not going to admit it. Admit it. I'll admit that I was wrong, but I would never admit that you turn my mom into Chewbacca.

I did, dude. I went to the wig shop, and I stapled all the wigs to her. She asked me to, though, and then I fucked her. No, she didn't. Yeah, I fucked her with my Star Wars penis. It's true It's true You can ask her No

She'll She'll do the noise to you Number nine And Jen with two ends What's that other end for? Yeah We don't need that other end

Yeah Come on dude Yeah Why do you need that? You don't need Jen Jen already has an end Yeah

I think the top comment on this Disqualifies it Immediately It says Two of my teacher's names are Jen So If the teacher's

name yeah it's a damn teacher's name yeah yeah again it's like naming your kid adolf you know naming your kid after a teacher that's we don't like you know in a you know sort of a lifestyle adolf i mean oh it was kind of the the the that's why nobody liked him he's a teacher he was he was the ultimate teacher yeah the logical extreme of being a teacher. Yeah, he was, he kind of invented timeout now that I think about it. Detention.

Too many. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Number 10 is Jaina, which I think is... Jena... I think that's the name of the... Isn't that the name? Isn't that classic man?

Jaina is the name of Jason Solo's twin sister. I really wish I was making that up, but no. that's who kills Jason Solo's She's like she's the Everly to his Emily Yes, that's true I'm pretty sure Jane is also a mage in a world of Warcraft I think yeah

I think that's true Which I know from Heartstone Somebody just says I'm horny Just the name Jana Just imagining what that bitch is built like It's just fucking, it's fucking popping my desk up with my penis right now.

Sometimes that's all you need. Sometimes, I'm all, oh, dude, one time I was with this kid, this fucking weird-ass dude, we were at the beach, and he was like my dad's friend's son. And so he was always around, but he's a very bizarre guy. He's still, he like, we would play video games together and he would cry when he lost up until he was like 17 years old. So one time we were at the beach together. You could just say it was Cameron.

He was Cameron. No. We were at the beach together in high school, and there was some girl was, like, walking, like, on, like, the boardwalk right next to the beach, and he was like, that girl is so cute. And I was like, cool, man, you should, you should go say what's up, and, like, get her number. And he was like, her number, all I need is a name. And me, me and my dad were like, what the fuck? What is wrong with you, dude? What are you going to do with her name?

What the fuck does that mean? He's going to enchant her. He's Jason Bourne. Yeah, you're going to kill her? Is that what you're going to do? He's going to do a spell, dude. You need their true name. Yeah, and her name was Jaina, and he immediately got a bum.

Shot out of his trunks. Yeah. He got a caught in the mesh of his story. It went through one of the holes It squished out like Plato into a bunch of different His mushy blob dick Ah

My dick fell through my quicksovers Can I get your name? I'm walking up to her With your amorphous Goo dick It's like I need your name It's detached from your body

And it's sliding down your Don't pay attention to that Look at me I need a name Look, I just sneezed, okay? That's what that is. I dropped my ice cream. Just talk to me.

I need a name. It's crawling toward her across the ground. It's just some gum I sat in. It's fine. That's my little brother. Don't look at me. He loves attention. And don't give me your number because I don't need it.

Don't you dare, bitch. If you give me your number, that thing's going on your face. I'm horny. And then you scoop it up with a dust band. And walk away. You pick it up with one of those fish picker-up with things from an aquarium, the little net thing. The net, yeah. Sorry, they don't, I don't have a word for that in English.

Yeah, they deleted net. Yeah. Number 11, Clem. My grandma had a cat named Clem, so I just think of a cat when I think of Clem. Sorry. Clem's pretty good, honestly. I'd have no qualms with this one. Someone says that, someone says, that rhino from Laslo and then a yum emoji.

I don't know what that. He just said yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Glim. Yes. Oh, number 12's cool. I like number 12. Kesha.

No dollar sign, though. No dollar sign for this. It doesn't count. You guys remember if you tried to put a Kesha song onto your iPod Nano, it would come up as Kiha because it couldn't do the dollar sign? That ever happened to you? Nope. So I never had an iPod Nano.

I wasn't fucking loaded. It was my friend's iPod. Pod Nano. Yeah. I just had records, buddy. I had an iPod shuffle for so long. I had records and books. My uncles had to sing.

My uncles had to sing the songs for me. If I wanted to hear, if I wanted to hear We Will Rock You, I just had to get all my uncles together in a stadium and have them start. That is how we did it back in the day. Yeah. Eating my uncle old English malt liquor until he starts singing. Taking requests Yeah, sitting on the stoop Doing fucking Leonard-Skinnered songs together

That's how it used to be Just my uncle's singing I'm like a bird by Nellie Furtado Nephew's on the chorus The nephew's on the Verses, nephews on the chorus Those are the rules of uncle singing

Yeah The nephew uncle choir Perfect The nephew uncle Tabernacle Choir. It's like the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Yeah. Top comment on this is this was the name of

the nurse that gave me anesthesia when I got mouth surgery. It's also the name of a really bad pop singer who overuses autotune. Shots fired right there. That's a comment from Dr. Luke. Yeah. Second comment disagrees. This is Keshe's

my favorite singer. So we got a rival Worst name ever very ghetto That's like a format like a Trump tweet Oh man Could you imagine Trump calling something ghetto? Oh dude I haven't heard that I haven't heard that in like forever

I haven't heard someone call something ghetto Until like the other day when I was at CVS And they didn't have the pen to like touch like the You know, like, the fucking card thing to, like, sign? They had, like, the pen fell off. Someone stole the pen. So they just had, like, a, like, a wire with a, a wire with another wire poking out. And the cashier was like, yeah, it's ghetto, but whatever.

That's the trick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Man, we should bring that back. Let's bring that ghetto. Yeah. We're going to get a shirt with Bill's face on it.

He said, that's so ghetto. There's a cut out of him. And it says, I'm ghetto A.F. One ghetto white boy. This white boy is ghetto A.F. This white boy, ghetto A.F. Trump tweeting about, like, AOC and ending with very ghetto. But it's a compliment tweet.

He thinks she likes that. He's trying to be nice Yeah, sorry, I was trying to speak your bingo I'm code switching Shorty, you're ghetto a F There's another There's another poem on this one Oh, hell yeah

Keshah is so cool And it's never used 100% If I have a female, baby Kesha is the first thing If I have a female, maybe I'm having a female Yeah, it's like, it's a line break between female and baby, and babies capitalized, so it is like a new sentence.

Yeah. It's not even if I have a female baby. It's if I have a female baby. I'm naming that shit, Kesha. Oh, we're continuing on the same thread here with number 13. It's pink. So we're doing... Same exact thread because there's no...

Yeah, exactly. That's what I was going to say. I found the pattern. I solved it. it's someone says ghetto trash name good name for a stripper it's different and it's not ghetto we're naming people colors now yeah that's normal yeah yeah that's me having a normal one yeah we're not named my kid a color so she can be a stripper nowadays nowadays people want their kids to be strippers

yeah that's true so they'll name their kid uh they'll name their kid uh sea foam to that they grow up to be a stripper or a prostitute. This is my kid, burnt sienna. This is my kid white. This is my kid yellow green. Yellow dash green. No, it's yellow dash green. Last name is blue.

Whoa. Yeah. Think about it. I've definitely said this before, but there's a kid in my hometown whose full name is branch leaf olive. I don't know. Pretty good. If you can look him up, please look him on it.

I don't know how that would work trying to Google that name, but let me know. Yeah. Look up Caleb's friend. No, he's not my friend. I don't know the guy. I heard about him, and apparently he's a rapper. Oh. Is he like a conscious rapper?

I don't know. All I know is his rap name is Twiggy. Oh, shit. Sick. Yeah. That's awesome. Okay. It's pretty sick.

Yeah. Number 14, Tahiri. No. No, not cool. That's a sauce. Yeah. Yeah, that's a sesame seed sauce. Exactly.

Someone says, I've never heard it. Might be good for a book. Yeah, who's this fucking guy with the books? It's Chuck Wendy. It's John Grisham. Yeah. John Grisham. Yeah, John Grisham.

He's writing a book about a sniper. Her name Tahiri. Yeah. Who kills pink and falls in love with Kesha. Someone else says, simple and complex at the same time. Is that possible? Who knows, man. I don't think Tahiri is simple or complex.

Just putting that out there. It's not a name. I've never met a Tahiri. I have met a couple Tristan's. Yeah. That's number 15. I've met probably too many Tristan's. Yeah.

I knew a kid named Tristan in middle school, and he moved away. God damn, okay. So this list has a, it has a peak at the beginning and then a deep valley. Yeah, I know. And then it comes back up at 16. And it has a pretty good streak here. We have Thurston. That's the name of a segregationist.

Yeah, definitely. Someone says, it's my friend's surname. Thurston? but they spelled sir sir name, my friend's sir name Thurston

Cazdia and Traxes These all rule Traxis is like Traxis is like a Star Trek name before they like figured out how to name stuff in sci-fi like in the 60s

They're like we'll just name it I don't know Or like a cleaner Take like Travis and Switch one of the fucking Okay, fucking move the V over a letter. Yeah, mirror the V. Yeah.

And it becomes Traxis. And someone says, my name. Liar. Yeah, your name isn't Traxas, dude. Star and then Trek are back to back. Yes, baby. And then fucking, after that, it's just Sean. Yet another valley.

Yeah. And then Axel? Coming back up, we're on the way back up. Oh, another Ernesto. That's probably the coolest one on here, in my opinion. Yeah, I like Ernesto. Ernesto's cool, yeah. It's like Ernest P. Worrell, but like with an O.

Yeah, it's like an oven. Yeah. Fuck off. Dylan, Stephanie. Yeah, but after Ernesto, yeah, we get into it now. But then, 26. Oh, hell yeah. Woo!

26 is Pikachu. The coolest name in the world If any parent is reading this Name your kid Pikachu Someone says it is so cool Man or a Girl I like that it says It says parent

Like somebody already has a kid They're like Brian come here You're Pikachu now I just saw online It makes me want to sneeze Two separate comments say gotta catch that dick Yeah Carl

Fauna Fauna Now we're bad in 500 It's just every other one Carl to Fauna 30 is fucking awesome Bobby to testify The first comment is

I testify that this thing is good I'm imagining a guy named Testify going into like a like a black church service and then just every couple minutes being like, did you say my name? Did you say my name? The second comment on testify

is what name is this? The third comment is just penis sucks, man. You agree. Testify, baby. My name is testify penis sucks. And I And I am your lawyer.

Number 31 is Raven. That's a cool witch name. Yeah. Sydney and Zek. Zek. That's just an Australian person saying Zax. Zik. Zik.

Zik. Zik. So number 39 is Sinister, spelled S-Y-N-Y-S-T-E-R. I think if you're going to do those Y's, you should replace that E with a Y as well, I think. It's like a new middle band. Yeah. Sinister sounds like the Pete

best of Slipknot. That's like the guy who got, he was in the original that he's gone. Yeah, it's like a mud vein side project. They all have like. Like how they had Stone Sour is pre-Slippnought, so why don't you brush up? Oh, that's pre-slip-Lip. Yep, and it's not new metal, so why don't

you fuck off, dude, get out of the call. What was that? Hang out. Hang up. What was that Stone Sour song? What was their big one? I don't know. Sourstown. I don't really like Stone Sour.

Through the looking glass. Well, it seems... I think it's just called looking at you through the glass or something. Yeah. It's terrible. Yeah, Stone Sauer's not good. I saw that on Fuse TV when I was a kid. Have you seen that?

I think that one is the music video where Corey Taylor is super fat and has long black hair and like... Yeah. And it assumes in on a ring he has. I don't know if it's a thumb ring or a pink. Thank you ring, but it's supposed to be cool, but it's just Spider-Man. He is just like the most Reddit person. He sucks so bad. I love him, but he's just like, he wears shirts that are like,

Yoda thinks you should listen to Wu-Tang Clan, and he like wears a fedora. He's ridiculous. I can't believe. Yeah, it's funny that he is the kind of guy who would wear a Slipknot t-shirt. Yeah. He, um, no, it's so funny, too, because he, like, he, he, um, no, it's so funny, because he'll talk about his childhood newslet. He's like, yeah, when I was a kid, I overdosed and my friends threw me into a dumpster and left me to die.

And he's just like wearing like a Star Wars shirt and like doing... That rocks, dude. Fucking Star Trek Hand, Falkin Hand, whatever it's called. I don't know, I'm not a nerd. I love him. You're doing Cameron's Hand. Yeah, it's called Cameron's Hand. Cameron's Hamist's Hand.

Number 48 is Edvaldo. Oh, that was pretty cool. pretty sick there's a lot definitely a 10 out of 10 yeah yeah there's too many let's just pick like the good ones now adolf is at number 57 oh shit here we go the thing is it's at the point

we're like if you name your kid adolf it's been long enough yeah it's been we're all right you know yeah it's been long enough yeah you could have not heard of him yeah yeah benefit of the doubt I'm gonna name my kid Mohammed Atta Pitts

62 Muhammad Number 66 is Gabriel, which isn't that cool, but the comment is just, it's three comments, and it's just, just gangster life, name of a thief or thug, this is my name. Number 119 is Joel, and it says, name of the perfect man who lost his daughter. Fuck, dude. Number 124 is paradox, and the comment is better than naming your kid Obama. Damn, is there, I'm going to, I'm going to search Obama. Yeah, you guys search Obama. Be careful of what you find.

The only, the only, the only Obama on here, besides that one, is under Adolf. Someone says, best name ever, 10 out of 10. Obama has approved this message. Inferring that Obama. Hey, Caleb's on here. Number 184. No, it's not. Yeah, it is.

184. What are people saying? Someone said, Caleb commented and said, please vote. I love this name. It's mine. That's not me, though. That's you, dude. That's you.

It's not, dude. It's not me. Number 170 is Snoopy. And the only comment, the only comment is Charlie Brown. Which is also good. I'm just going to load everything and Command F, all our names. I want to see if we made it on here. See if you can find.

Stieg. Nico is on here. Like Nico Lowe. Oh, okay. Let's see. They're total on here. There's number 335, the last one is Emerson. Number 238 is just a Hitler.

Neuro wonder. Hey, Patrick's number 74. Yeah, maybe. I'll skip over that. I don't know. But Bill isn't on here. Stieg isn't on here. Cameron isn't on here. It's fucked up.

God damn. Fuck all you guys. Fuck this list. I'm number 74. I beat Caleb out. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. I got 74. Yeah, there's papyrus. That's actually

my name in Egyptian. You lost to Adolph. More damningly. The names get insane when you scroll down. Oh, my God. Like, around 300. Crayed. Like Craig with an E at the end?

Climate, C-H-L-Y-M-A-T-E. 166 is just Fizz. The comment is, did someone shake his bottle too much? Oh. It's pretty good. Olga? Candice. D-O.

D-O would be a cool name. It was a cool name. Yeah, and then he died. And then he died. Yeah. because he was in pick of destiny. Yeah, too many names. There's so many names.

We'll link this in the description so people can check it out. We will not. You can look up all your names. Oh, yeah, go see if you've got a name in there. I can't remember if this is from the Discord or not. I don't think it is. No, it's not. All right, so we don't have to shout anyone out from the Discord this time.

Oh, but we do have to do Patreon. Oh, yeah, we got a bunch because we haven't recorded in a while. All right, Bill. Bear with us. Yeah, that's right. Oh, crap, man, this is going to suit. Christ. I can't open the email, so you guys are going to have to read them.

Where do we start? Yeah, I'm going to grab another beer. Go crazy. Dude, go grab a beer. Okay, he's gone. He's gone. Okay, now that Bill's gone. Now that Bill's gone.

We have a huge surprise for him. Yeah, when he gets back, we put a thumbtack on his chair. and when he gets back he's going to sit on it and if he moans he's gay um how yeah what date do we start are we starting from here i have no idea who knows who knows we might just have to add in we can record this separately once we figure it out yeah does that make sense um no i don't want to wait wait wait wait wait wait wait you know we record i believe last time we recorded was the 28 right Yeah, because we did.

All right, let's go. And then, did we read wide gym? Yeah, I think we read wide gym. I think we did wide gym. So, yeah, then I think we start on the 30th. I think that's the day we start. All right. Okay.

Here we go. All right. Thank you to Alex Freyer. Thank you, Alex Freyer. Sean. You made it on the list, pal. You were on the cool names list. Yes, Lander Pridgin.

You should have been. name. Will Serbo. Cool, man. Thank you. Ethan's. Ethan. Two Ethan's back to back. Ethan Seidel and then Ethan Holbrook. Thank you, Ethan's. The two Ethan's. Mike Shattieke. Gibson Duval.

If that's... Skyd the burger. Is Gibson Duvall the Gibson from the documentary? Oh my God, I hope so. Gibson, if you're listening, we miss you. Yeah. Grant S. Grant S. Matthew C. Gons.

Gons. Oh, I think that's Gonsalo from... Yeah, shout out Gons. Yeah, shout out Gons. Jack Terrence. Thank you. Claudia Phillips. Ralph Drake.

Shout out, Ralph, you're the man. Ralph, you love you. You are the pimp. You're the boss of the day. Of the Discord. I don't get my dick flattened anymore. Thank you. I don't get my dick flattened anymore.

Yeah, Sky DeBarr. For your patronage. Thank you for doubling down. Brett Johnson. Shout out to Brett Johnson. If that's the Brett Johnson, I'm thinking of, you're a great guy. You're a boss. And if not, fuck you.

And if not, Johnson, you can fucking suck my twat, you want worm. Yeah. Matt Cobbler, that's a good name. Mike D. Thank you, Mike D. That's a cool old hip-hop name. Yeah. Hank Dutty.

Thank you, Hank Dutty. Also cool. Hip-hop name. Yeah, Ben Holt. Quincy Judd. Thank you, Quincy Judd. Poor old dude. Oh, poor O'Dill.

Here, maybe this will lift your spirits. Fub-Pamar. Fub-Mar. Zach Collins. Thomas Lang. What's up, Thomas? Thank you, Thomas. Ian Sheriff.

That's like the coolest name ever. And then my man, Nile. Nile, thank you, Nile. Thank you, Tom Young. Thank you, Craig Rose. Thank you, Ben Contillo. Thank you. Oh, no, fuck you, Paul Doran.

Fuck you. name corny ass bitch just kidding i love you that's my brother that's my brother shout out to my brother paul doran shout to zach french more i wish you were frank uh french french i wish you were french you were less you were less you were less french uh jack jake reynolds

thanks for you that's cool uh samuel maloy thank you colt boyfriend thank you if that's your real name you're a serious weird up um stephen yazvac Harry Palmer, brother of Harry Potter. Harry, if your name is Harry Palmer, dude. I'm sorry, that sucks. Sam and Pete have like an old couple Facebook double account.

Alexander Tenenbaum from the Royal Tenenbaum's. Yeah, all right. That's all of them. That's everybody. Yeah. Congratulations to all of you. Yeah, thank you to Bill. Thank you so much for being on the show.

show. Thank you for sitting through us reading all of those. Yeah, he just sat there and enjoyed himself. Yeah, he's just sitting there drinking his Hoffingle or whatever. Yeah, his sticky stunker, whatever's called. Sticky got the blicky beer. He's drinking the Takashi 6-9 beer. Yep. I don't know. It looks good. Yeah. Treyway or whatever they're called. Are you a blood, Bill? Yep. That's good to know. His name is Bill, dude, to be. Bill. His real name is Sil.

But he says Bill. Bill, do you have anything you want to plug besides your Twitter? Nope. Cool. Just going out. Guns and drugs. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Buy as many guns and drugs as you can. Use the Trump stimulus neat bucks to buy guns and just have them, point them at people. Gun safety is for Pussies. Safety off, yeah. Safety off. Keep your gun loaded.

Yeah. Always loaded. Get like illegal dumb dumb bullets. Okay. Yeah. Just have it like in the waistband of your sweatpants.

Okay. Hollow points. Yep. Hollow points. Yeah. And then fill up the hollow points with candy. Yeah, with dumbtums. Yeah.

That's right. All right. Bye y'all. Thanks. See you later. Thank you.