Podcast About List - Escape from Mneme Awakening

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

Hey guys! This week some of the boys were out of town, so instead of unlocking a premium episode, we'd like to showcase the start to our newest D&D campaign with DM Patches, Gun City: Escape from Mneme. This is the first two episodes of the campaign that to this day is 11 episodes long with both an audio and video release exclusively available on our Patreon for patrons on the "Gun City Terrifiers" and "Executive Producer" tiers (along with our many other campaigns, one-offs and holiday specials).Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links (00:00:00) Cold open(00:00:30) Intro(00:00:39) Gun City: Escape from Mneme - #1 Wake Up Mr. The Frog(01:05:28) Gun City: Escape from Mneme - #2 Documentary NOW!(02:18:36) Outro

Dude, last night I hit a dab train and every single one of them popped crazy loud. You had the good one with the pop. It was literally like every single one. And then by the second one, I was like, let's see if we can keep this going, guys. And then I got to like, I got to five people because there's only five people in the room. And I went, oh my God. And no one liked it as much as me. Just sprinting towards 30 years old.

Well, last, last time. Oh, yeah. interior apartment slash closet early morning. A close-up on the face of a one Sullivan T. Frog in perfect sleep, an imbecile sleep, unbothered and unremarkable. An alarm clambers in the distance as if it were buried beneath the earth and grows louder and louder and more in focus as Sullivan hazily blinks the last bits of sleep from his roomy eyes. After orienting himself, the simplest smile in the universe plasters itself across his face. face. Oh boy, another day of work. Sullivan hops out of bed and as his routine hits his head on a shelf in the supplies closet he lives in, a holographic screen flickers on and gives him his mandated digest of Gunn City

approved news. The war goes on today in Marlborough District between the ultra-CEO-Trento of Tencent and his treacherous daimyo. Since the niphonification of the Marlborough District, sushi has seen a 10% rise of changes the channel. And now have you know that while my brother Poppera Poppy Chuko was a crook and a criminal. Daddy Chuko is committed to only making the finest techno slime this city has ever seen. Do not take techno slime if you are allergic to pollen, dust, poison, or any of their ingredients. Side effects may include nausea changes the channel. So a toast made of human growth hormone deposits itself into Sullivan's open maw. Robotic arms sling down and dress him in his Winnie the Pooh style.

This little button down, his coat, no pants. One more news story comes on. Travel to Gadsville today. Hi, I'm Baby Gad, King of Gadsville. I remember this stuff. Are you looking to get away from business of Gun City? Did you think Josh Gadd was kind of funny? Jack your port into Gadsville.

Scan the code on the screen right now to receive a personal VR microvisit straight to your neurons. Oh, okay, I'll do that now. What you just felt is only 10% of the kind of good times you can have at Gadsville. Sullivan's bed goes Murphy and slings him out of his closet. And he flies through the techno-slim crack den he lives in, waving high to his strung-out neighbors. Hi, Skull-Freek.

Hi, Mr. Menendez. Hi, Mrs. Menendez. Ha-Quado. How-soup-Nazi. None of them say anything back, and their desire to kill him grows stronger. Solvin flies out the door and onto the sidewalk, hops on the Stakem's Federation bus through downtown Gunn City, and is deposited at Poppy Chukoschino-Compression Remedial Branch, where Sullivan works as a janitor. He loves his job.

He punches in and waves to his co-women. workers. Hi Kevin. Hi, Slim. Hi, Mac. Hi, Maria. Hi, Mr. Menendez again. Not sure her you got here so fast. Hi, Clyde. They all murmurs something like a hello and continue with their work. Sullivan cleans up after them, empties the garbage cans, mops the work kitchen, picks up their poop out of the toilet. He doesn't have to do that. And on his downtime, he tries to connect with his closest friend, Cooper, an old Hoovian who tells him about his three friends, and Sullivan tells him about his three friends, Blotas Piss, Ray William Johnson, and Patrick Yoda, who have long since passed after a terrible accident on the Pleasure Palace Space Station.

And then Ray punched the head off of Papy Chucco. But then Leo the collector hired them to find a lost artifact. And we went to Gadsville, and we pulled a heist to steal money from a charity. And then we killed a lot of people. But yeah, we were rich sometimes and poor sometimes. We hung out with Gary C. Enterprise and Officer Filipino Mr. Bean. Snucci Bucci's. He was a Tomogachi.

I remember him. Carol Baskins, Jeff Tiedrich, my cousin, John Carlo. Really aging the show. Yeah, right. Oh, you must have heard of her, Hussiki Tune. She's really famous. Yes, Sullivan, that all sounds really great. Oh, and we went on a hobo train and met Dr. Toulat of Rallis and Ken Bones,

and they made me eat out a lot of stuff. I didn't want to do that. And as the day winds down, another transcendent day at work, Sullivan hops back on the bus, blings himself through the den, waves high to the folks in this slime den, and back into his cramp supply closet. He watches Gun City mandated late-night program, is fed the slurry that most underperforming citizens are fed and falls into gentle sleep three years Sullivan T frog has lived like this no danger no bullying just neglect steady work steady slurry roof over his head

we hear a voice whisper over the scene is he asleep he's asleep he's asleep okay soundproof and let's roll out the director and his lean production crew begin to strike the set powering down holographic display units automated actor units and environmental generation units He turns his attention to the crew. All right, we're wrapped for the day. Great job, everyone. Nice work, Cooper. Really felt your lack of enthusiasm. He finds that comforting and familiar, so we'll try to lean into that. Menendez, you have to stop going to the office.

If you're going to be in the techno slime den, you can't then be at the office. You have another actor you can rely on for that. And, you know, it's the easiest role, really. For tomorrow, also, before everybody leaves, can someone just try to convince him to stop touching people's poop? We don't know what he's doing with it. We can't find it after he touches it, too. So it's kind of a little concerning. It's technically a liability.

And props, by the way, when I say someone, I mean you, in case there was any confusion. Sorry for the call out. All right. All right, let's go home. Don't mean to keep you. Really great work overall, guys. The production crew shuts down, begins to leave set.

Sullivan sleeping in his barren warehouse, soundly, the facsimile of his favorite supply closet surrounding him. And as we punch out, we cut through an enormous hive-like structure of interlocking chambers, beams, lasers, rooms, walls, guard towers, guard ships, molten rock, then lava, then a moon. Gun City's worst moon, the blue moon. At the center of the blue moon is the nexus eternity of the evil minds, where prisoners so evil, so vile, so vicious in everything they do, so irredeemable,

and who have overall caused enough collateral damage to rival warring nations are sent to serve time for eternity. Keeping such dangerous prisoners and chain for life is not easy. As we've seen, the original Gun City three gets sprung out of jail by one wealthy individual, but Neme is not like any prison. It is chaotic. Neme. Neem. It is hyper-futuristic. It is deeply manipulative and reality bending and it works to predict and destroy any hope in its prisoners. No one has ever escaped from Neme. Hell, nobody who has worked there has ever left, often moving their family into tenement housing within the moon's mantle.

For Sullivan the Frog, believe it or not, who aided and abetted Gun City's most vile crew, his is the cheapest option for a total internal imprisonment. With most production crews, let me see what you drew. Let me see. It's me, isn't it? And do you know why he drew it? Because he's very jealous of me.

Because of my free coffee. Sorry. Sorry, for those at home, Patrick drew a picture of Caleb and this shirt's wearing, he's wearing a shirt that says I'm fat. He's jealous because his favorite released and gave me free coffee. That's all I read that I was already giggling. Is it something worse?

Oh, then he also looks like he has his penis out. I look like I had my penis out. He also did a full, he did a full, he did a full, like, figure drawing 101, like. Sorry. Did the shapes. Yeah, the shapes. And it's a pretty good drawing. That's Caleb fucking a bug.

Yeah. Why do I keep my boots on? Because. Oh, man, they got funnier and funnier. It's like, understood what was happening. Yeah, I have boots in that. I want to see if you had them in real. I'm a boot's on.

Sorry. So for Sullivan, the frog, believe it or not, who aided in abetted Gun City's most vile crew. His is the cheapest option for eternal imprisonment, with most production crews participating exclusively

in the credit and barter economy. This was considered the most cost-effective option after a prisoner's psychological evaluation revealed that there was almost no chance that this frog would ever really know

what is going on or make anything good happen for himself. But what about that Gun City 3? Well, thanks to Gun City's radical prison reform movement that spared so many from being outright killed for jaywalking. The worst prisoners brought to Neme are often revived just so they can serve that time. And as we linger on the blue moon, we go in reverse now, punching all the way back in, fast and furious to the core.

And there we see not bound by chains, iron bars, or even plasma beams, but by hypo atrophicified, well, hold on, Hi, hold on. Hypoafter. Hypoatriified. A hypoachrified psychotrophic chemical soul castration or soul casting. Are three heroes no longer dead except in their eyes, heart, mind, and soul. Their chemical electronic makeup bound to a vile protein that has sapped them of spiritual strength.

You'll notice your sheets. You have minus one to everything. Shit. No abilities. Damn. Eight armor class. What was that? It was a partyful notification.

Let's see whose party is. You see, in Neem, there are class ranking prisoners. And we'll get into the classes over the next few sessions. We'll talk about some of them probably today. There's class F, which is Sullivan. He's the only one in class F. Then there's class D, C, B, A, S, and then class gun. I don't want to be class gun.

You guys are class gun. Oh, yeah. Let's go. So while class S, A, B, and C have really specific an insane imprisonment mechanisms which I'll get into eventually. Class D is for bad boys. This is a very typical prisoner class.

They live normal prisoner lives with zero hope of escape. Typically have electric shock colors to prevent them from doing anything too spicy. They're allowed to socialize and develop hatred for one another. They have three meals, you know, routines, access to library for young adult fiction, a yard. They can play sports.

Their gangs are formed there. Bulk of the social and cultural life of Neme starts here. But they're not the most dangerous. It's typically murders, sex offenders, embezzlers. Many anti-corporate types find themselves here. Again, there's Class C, solitary survivors, B, ice queens. Class A, the Flores Plasma, and Class A, the Iron Epoisoned, which is the worst.

And I'll go into what those imprisons are eventually. But you guys are class gun. Oh, yeah. You're molecularly decimated. You are fundamentally different. You've been deemed so dangerous. They are forced to spend your days as weaklings amongst the week. To endure nauseating conversation and bullying.

We're getting the worst, we're the worst, most dangerous prisoners in the world. We're getting bullied? By who? By the bad boys. Can you explain a little bit how we were brought back to life? Good question. So.

Is it like alien resurrection? I don't know what happens in that. I think that's... It's probably not like that. Is that a clone? That's the... And resurrection? I think it's a clone, yeah.

Or is it a real... Persistent consciousness here. Either one of the other. So you guys were scraped off of the energy core and the pleasure palace after you were devoured by that, the mod, the monster. It's like... So we were shit. You were shit, basically. We were shit.

We were then molecularly reconstructed and then injected with a protein by the... So we, like Childs Play, like Childs Play 3 where they, they accidentally put all the Chucky's blood in the, in the toy. Yeah. It's an accident. So basically we committed crimes so awful that by getting eaten and turned to poop, we got off too easy. Yes. But what is the actual mechanism that we are resurrected with? Oh, well, it's a combination of like techno slime and the sole casting that's holding you guys together.

So do we, are we like coming out of a vat of techno slime or something? something. You were like born in it. You wake, where you guys will wake up is just in your cell. I'm not worried about you. Oh, like, how did you guys get, how did we actually get reborn? What did it look like? And what did they

arrest us when we were unconscious? So when you guys were arrested, you were shit and you were putting handcuffs. Okay, the shit, so the shit on the, on the ship was put it was arrested. Was arrested. Okay. Yes. And then by like a vice cop. Yes. Essentially.

And then it was, uh, once it was informed that it was you three who were dead. So they were arresting us because we were poop. We were resurrected specifically to be in this prison. To be imprisoned. Yeah. So there was a radical prison reform movement in guns said pristical prison reform movement. It's a good word. It should be a word. Yeah, it really should be. Reform movement that prevented prisoners from being outright killed the second they do something wrong. And one of the concessions made was, okay, well, we have to have a super prison that

punishes people for eternity. And so this is that prison. And so there you have in here, like you guys were in the Shane Dawson maximum security prison last time, which is a bad prison. But you had only killed a couple people in Papi Chucco. It wasn't bad enough to be in Neme. Neem is like the ultimate. What did we do to get on Neme? What are the charges? You killed scores of people.

Scores, what score? Sexually assaulted multiple people. Not true. Not true. Patrick did that. I didn't do that. Patrick might have done that. No, no.

What? Sounds like you. In what definition? No, you sexually assaulted. You all sexually assaulted. That's like, you can't sexually assault a rock or a fucking, a wall.

Yeah. You broke it to a charity and stole from the charity and killed all the five there. You did do that. We killed the people in the charity. Yes, you killed many of the guards there. The guards, but guards are like bad guys in games at least.

So you, what else did you do? God. I mean you, I guess you Started one of the most popular restaurants You did start one of the most The hot soda cold dogs Restaurant, you did start that

You also made a lot of powerful people Very angry at you Which is also part of what's happening here Yeah, I see A lot of like people Political prisoners You know anything Well, so I have notes in as far as the class

Once you get up to the class B and A prisoners A lot of those are Former corporate execs Who were ousted and then like sort of finagled into there. And you guys are kind of in that class, but then you're also like kind of mass murderers and rapists.

And also too powerful. You really snuck rapists in it. What did I said? When did we ever, when did any of us ever do that, dude? Did you? No, we did. No, you did.

We did it. We threw that in there. We would maybe dip our balls in some of his face when he was a joke. These are trumped up charges. You got Al Frankened. You got. We did. Yeah.

We got Al Franken. Yeah. These are trumped up charges and they're only saying that we did that because they're trying to be trumped up. You're trying to make us look bad. You punched the head off of the CEO of Papua Chucco's Technos line. But he was evil. He was evil. How many?

You got Leo the collector mad at you. Do we have our memories? You have your memories. Okay. Fuck. As I was about to say. Yeah. I can describe to you guys each of your cells now.

Okay. Where you're living. So keep in mind, you guys are considered. the most dangerous criminals by the Neme system and by Gunn City at large. Neem. But the people in here don't really realize that they think of you guys

as just the weakest of the people here. That is meant to be a shot, like destroying your ego is what it's meant to do. It's working on me. We'll start with Ray's cell. Ray, in your cell, your cellmate is the Archangel

Ug. So he is an angel caveman. and sort of the opposite of your demon computer. You guys actually get along. Sometimes. He doesn't really talk much. He just goes like, I don't want to hear this shit today.

He hate being in prison. And sometimes he'll freak out. And remember that he's an angel and say, By the archangel Michael's sword, I'll slay you in Dway. And he'll just start to. try to chase you around with a club and you guys

but most of the time he just kind of likes it when you rub his tummy and he's your friend he wants to be your friend you know if you like him I like him but I would say at this point Ugg is my only friend that I have in the world to me because I would assume that we have been separated I probably don't even know they're alive

you guys are all in the you guys are have been you guys are all a part of the same like you're all in the class D prisoners but you are being deliberately separated with your own cellmates I would say you know that they're alive, but you guys are not, you guys, if you guys start to, like, fraternize, you get kind of. I'm kind of not even friends with them anymore, honestly.

Whoa. I don't care. Ray is just not. He's going through a very hard time. This is a hard time. Yeah. I guess the other, us, we probably aren't, right? Yeah. You guys are probably, we probably have it easy.

Well, Ray is so selfish that he probably does not even realize you guys are going through a hard time. Blotas's cell. Uh-huh. Your cellmate is Gulliver the log. I'm Gulliver the log I love you and that's all he says Is he a log? He's a log Gulliver the log

Honestly that sounds like a great cellmate I'm Gulliver the dog I put him under the bed I put a blanket over him He's basically yeah I got my own cell I'm not going through a hard time Yeah you're living it up And Patrick Yota

And your cell is Philip Here's some of the dialogue I've written for him so far Okay Okay so what is Dago about like. Okay, because early production art and adaptations of Empire Strikes Back

depicted Yotas as blue and maybe even pink. Now, are there blue pink yotas? Of course, Lucas never confirmed or denied the card. He is. My other issue is with your longevity. I tried to kill him. So this is... Immediately, I'm like, fuck it, I'm in jail.

I'm getting hard as fuck. This is what happens with the... Getting being soulcasted. Is that typical prisoner activities of of getting to kill fellow prisoners. God, that sounds fun. Yeah, which you will get to maybe your ability one day to be able to do that again. I'm trying to get my sentence extended.

You kind of have like a Ludovico response to this, where you try to put your hands around his throat, and your hands are just stopping, and he's just kind of like, oh, that's weird. And it's like you're just POV, you're just like this, and he's still talking at you. My other issue is with your longevity. I feel that Yoda's lifespan has given them, if I may, such undue influence on the order

that's perhaps most responsible for its downfall. His insistence on the mystical aspects of the force and his long view of history ultimately probably clouded his judgment. The thing is, if you add one Yoda every thousand years, it's all Yoda. Well, this is what I talked to my friends about. The council's material responsibility becomes lost to him.

What did this guy do to get into jail? You'll find out. And who's to say Yoda's empathy was not shot through? I think he might be a pedophile. By his 900th year. You know, his surviving of Order 66 is ultimately his like final insult because he passes his flaw perspectives on to Luke and now what was leah like a kid laa was a kid you don't tell me you didn't meet lea during you know i have a i have a dagobah tattooed

on my belly now old english dagoba i have like a tear drop tattooed like i'm like i have my head shaved like vahn and brawl and cell block 99 and I have the cross on the back of my head. Okay. Cross of the back of your head. Corn Rose. And you think, you might think it's for some type of nefarious white supremacy style shit. But remember, I'm a hoot.

So the cross is for Christmas. And I've become, I've become, in prison, I have become completely disgusted with the superficiality of Christmas. I want to bring it back to its Christian roots. Okay. Okay. And I have the corn rose. You have corned. That's cool as fuck.

That's fucking Yoda. I, white corn rose. Ray has like a forcibly shaved head. like they shave his head and shit. And he's like, they took away the straps that holds the computer on his back. So he's like holding the computer and has like quivering bow-licking.

And he's like cold all the time. Oh, no. He's really lost his juice. Yeah, this is not his thing. So yeah, you guys, we'll talk more about the gangs that are here too. I've got my prison blues on and I've died them black. So you've got black blues. And I burnt shit and then I turned it into a black ink like a charcoal thing.

And I've dyed all my clothes. black. This is, okay, yeah, you look hard as shit. Yeah. This is, this is, this will be fun. I'm going to get Joey to do a poster. It's, I want all these details. Um, so, uh, the bell. I have one gold tooth. Damn. That's, that's fire. That's cool, man. The, uh, so you guys, uh, you guys also have in the tip of your finger. You have the same, uh, neem chip that everybody else has. Um, and it communicates with you guys. What happens if you cut off your finger? Um, They will replace it for you. They add a new, unless you're a lizard and just comes back, they just have to put the chip in.

But they will do whatever they can to reattach your feet. Unless you're a lizard and it just comes back. Then I cut off all my limbs. Lizard's here. It comes back that way. You got off all your limbs. You are dying. I cut off my whole head. Breakfast.

You guys get in line for breakfast. And you're, as what typically happens, the hive, the hive gang, who are a hive mind. gang where they all think the same thing, immediately all try to cut you in line at once. And they turn you go, we were here first. Okay, go ahead. And they each step in front of you in perfect unison. You guys want to do anything about that? Yeah, I say, I urge you.

I urge you to look deep inside your soul and find the values that you know are there because what you've done is not very brotherly. Roll charisma. Get a D20 out here. Let's have the first roll of this adventure. Roll mouth. It's everything. is minus one.

16. Okay. All right. Yeah. That's pretty good. Oh, yeah, I should get dice too,

by the way. I should get dice, too, by the way. I'll get you dice. You can keep talking. Okay, thank you. Yeah. Well,

that's a good point. Maybe we'll let you cut one of us. I don't want him to cut us. Oh, so now there's one of you exists. Now there's such thing as one of you. Gang completely dissolved instantly. Scattering like roaches

when the lights come on. You do see them at one point just going, all at the same time. And they do this on occasion because their hive mind leader exists in one of the higher level prison cells. And every once in a while,

it communicates to them and it makes them all stand still and go, so you could cut them at this point. I'd say with that charisma too. I'm at breakfast, the most important meal. I'm at the back of the line

the entire time, almost opening, almost opening the line for people. I'm basically this line starts here, a sticker on the ground. And I'm sitting there and I'm just letting people cut me. Okay.

Go ahead. The people who cut you are, among them, are members of the slime anheimers. These are a bunch of guys who are completely drugged out on techno slime and cybernetic enhancements. They're like hopping over you, like going past you, like bumping into you. No, it's okay. There's the whodunits. These are mostly hoovian gangs of ex-corporate agents. Some of them are war ex-sac disciples.

There'll be more gangs, by the way. But there's also the sisterhood of the incarcerated V-girls. these are mostly V-girls and then they're like acolytes who worship them and then there's the bubble bouncers and the PG-13s the bubble bouncers The bubble bouncers are a gang of bouncing bubbles Oh no

Fucking god damn it And then the PG-13s which is the kid gang Okay And so yeah as you guys You guys go sit at your respective tables I don't know where do you guys sit where do you sit where do you all sit Do you guys sit together? You say no right I sit with the janitor

Mm-hmm okay All right he's I think he's my only Janitor and Ugg. Janitor and Ugg? Yeah. And it's the janitor from Vice Principals. Yep.

I haven't seen Vice Principal. I'm out of it. Or not the janitor. The guy from the cafeteria. Yeah, I remember him. Yeah. I got to see Vice Principals. It's a great show.

It's great. You're going to love Vice Principal. I know I will. The lady just passed away. I know. It's very sad. She's funny. I think I just realized that if,

that because my guy came back to life, I probably think I'm the second coming of Christ. And that's why I'm trying to spread Christmas, true Christmas. I like that a lot. So I think I'm always saying, at different tables and trying them to get them to do

the last supper with me. Okay. I'm standing with my foot on the wall. Okay. Like this. Yeah. I'm just watching everything. And the guards keep telling me to sit down.

They keep going. Okay. Part of why I'm, I'm so traumatized. And like this now is because I have a, because I'm a computer. Right. My consciousness did not completely cease as soon as I, like, the demon's head

got cut off. So I remember turning into shit and being shit for a little bit. You have like the chip was just sitting there. PTSD. When you came back, there was like a file on your computer's desktop. It's like memory dot MOV.

You're like, oh, what's this? Yes. And I opened it and I remember just being shit for like years. You have to watch the whole thing. Like a Salvia trip. It was really, and so it really affected me. So now I feel like shit. I still, part of me is, part of my life.

The janitor is like, listen, Ray, you're not shit. Okay. You can't tell me I'm not shit. You're not now. You're a computer demon like you're always meant to be. Barely. Oh, all right.

All right. And I'm smoking a cigarette I made out of a pencil. Hey, you. Stop smoking that cigarette prentzel. Prentzel. Be it much, bitch. I've done that twice with the word pretzel today. Prescel.

I did that. Wow. A cigarette pencil is like the future version of a glensel. Of a glensel. Which happened in the peasant. It did happen in the past. Stop smoking that. This is one of the automaton guards.

No. Okay. Roll a strength contest. I did badly. I got a one. Lucky me. I got a four. So you guys weekly.

Battle over. A single cigarette. Stop. I'm moving at this. No, you stop. I said stop. He takes it away from you. He says,

sit down make me fucka another bad hole 13 nice I got a 15 13 plus 2 so he

sits you down and now you're sitting at a table alone and Phil slides right next to you now while Thron wasn't the force sensitive I'm like in the table

in the table I'm taking like a little like shiv like thing that I made I'm just just like carving in just like me murdering Philip. I think I've gone like completely

something has snapped in my brain and I'm like you're like I'm gonna need to edit him. I'm trying to become like a Charles Bronson. Yeah, yeah, right. The way he commanded the Chiss fleet would beget some level of force sensitivity. I think there's a metaphysical argument to be made as far as what constitutes force sensitivity.

I'm just a photo of like my... And don't bring up midichlorians please. I mean, I have Phillips head. I think people shut that down way too quickly. But I think it's really going to miss the point of the metaphysical conference. This whole table is just different drawings that I've done. Of Phil Dying.

The one that I'm drawing today is like me. I've cut off, like Duke Nukem, I've cut off his head and shit down his neck. I didn't know you were such an artist. I wonder who that is, whose head's getting cut off. It looks like me.

And you are sitting down, you said you're trying to get people to do the last supper. So you go to a table of, just like, is there a, do you try to go to your hooveean friends? You try to go to the kids?

I'm trying to spread the met. So whoever I haven't sat with recently because everyone does not want me to sit with them. Okay, okay. Because I'm annoying. Okay. So whoever has, I have enough time has passed that they've forgotten that I'm about to try. I think like your most frequent one that you try is the bubble bouncers because you get no response from them. Yeah.

So I think I think I'm really getting to them. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, what do you say to them as they bubbly bounce bubbling? Bubbling next. They're sitting. I say Christmas is about my birthday. It's not about plastic or toys or candy.

It's about me being born and my birthday and the magic of that. It's super hard to tell, but none of them have turned to face you. They're all just like gently bouncing. And then a couple of them come up behind you and are just sort of lingering nearby. When they touch the ground, do they make like a boring? Yeah. What are they eating? What's on their plates?

Bubbles. The cannibals? Well, the bubbles make them bigger. Yeah. No, they wouldn't give them bubbles because it would get them too big. It's just the same slurry slop that everybody gets. That's basically, that's me. That slurry, that's me.

Because I never read the Bible or went to church or anything. I don't really understand. Picking up on context clues. Just a few little, yeah. You know, you got an angel and a demon over here. They can probably tell you something about it. As far as I know, angels and demons are like stuff from the zoo. Yeah.

More than from religion. Yeah. And another beep is blown from your little fingies where the neem chip is. Guard time. You guys go out to the yard. Now, rather than typical chain gangs, you guys are all neurologically linked instead of physically linked via chain. The hive gets there severed, so they panic and start working together to crack rocks to, like, relink it. That's how it works for them.

The rocks are mostly just rocks, but instead of them is dormant techno-slime oils. Roll all you roll owl. 16. 6. Who got 16? Me. As you crack through one of the rocks, you get just like a whiff of the techno slime,

and you just for a second, you start to remember how so powerful you were. You remember having all these abilities where you could shoot lightning. You had Yoda's mind. You had ways to calm conflict in a single role. You're remembering all these powers. Oh, yeah, you were OP, bro.

Yeah. You had the dark side Yoda. You had the dark slide Yoda move. Dark slide Yoda, yeah. And you just then, it just skateboarded. It just vanishes away. vanishes away and then I go, yeah.

Fuck. You're the scariest prisoner in my home jail. Yeah, I don't have cornrows. It's just like that one picture of Charles Bronson where he's like got the head shaved and a little tiny glasses. That's what I look like now.

I like that. I like that idea. Can I say on this chain gang thing, I am completely useless. I'm, I am hysterical like Nathan Lane in the bird cage. And I'm like kind of like, Like barely moving to pickax and it's just like falling off.

And I'm going, oh, hey, I can't do this. And I fall. Every time I fall, I fall like this. Hey, someone get this old man up. You got to be cracking up. You're not old. You think I look old. And you see the kids start to kick you while you're on the ground. Oh, please.

You take three damage. That's what I deserve. Yeah. And then the guards come in, they break it up. They break it up. typical. Also, I pulled down my pants and let my butt cheeks out. Just to make sure. Just to make sure that I'm

maximally embarrassed. Another day in this fucking prison. Yeah. I'm trying to do a British accent, but I'm so bad of it. Another day in this chuckin' prison. Another day in this chicken prison. I'm speaking Cockney English. You see some of the Slimenheimer's, one of the Slimeonheimers

is, these guys like one of his augments is this like... What are you looking at? Kant. Whoa. Looking at you. That's British. Who do you think you are? Fucker.

You think you're tough. My new name's fucker. And you see these like sort of like Fucker Yoda. And you see these guys. Aw. You got both. Yeah.

That sucks. Sorry. My name's that fucker. Neme. My name's bastard. And you see the Slymenheimer gang's kind of come up around you. You see there are like, some of them have like wheels instead of like legs. Some of them are like have no top half at all and are just like and just have like wires sticking out.

And they come up to you and they start going, if you think you're so tough, why don't you take us on? Immediately the beginning, the beginning of Bronson. Yeah, you just start to. Come on. Yeah, they're all coming for you. I've taken a bunch of dirt off the ground and I've like throwing it in myself. Let's have you roll initiative. I'll roll initiative for the Slymenheimer's.

Okay. That is an 11. Okay, they got a 20. I mean, 30, 20 on their initiative. So they're going to go first. That Scott Walker song is playing. Yeah. Baby it's slow.

That's good. When lights go low. Great song. Lecture. He's drilling through the spirit of scientist tonight. And they beat the shit out of you. Just like the Bronson intro, dude. Kill me and kill me and kill me.

They do seven damage to you. Yeah. So you're down to one HB. They just beat the living shit out. Yeah. And yeah, you're just like lying on the ground. What about you? You notice this?

Do you care? Like, do you remember Patrick Yota? Like, what's your? Or are you just like, I'm God now? Yeah, I'm busy. I'm like neurologically linked with. the people on my chain gang, right? So I'm really trying to force my thoughts into their head

and just thinking, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, can't wait for Christmas, let's celebrate Christmas. The electrician. The electrician is called. I'm like my, I'm like scanners level focused. Yeah, right. Just like, yeah. Christmas, Christmas.

You call that a bloody Christmas present. Why am I thinking of Christmas? And you're linked to other who's who are part of the who done it. gang and they're all... Do they fuck with me? No. Okay.

They're all ex-corporate operatives and all they want to do is get back into being corporate operatives. So they... They're like Mormons? Pretty much. Yes. Yeah. And they're just thinking about macroeconomic...

My brothers, you're lost. You're lost. My brothers. You must... We need to celebrate our favorite holiday together and you're just sitting here thinking about working, working, working. Have you ever heard of the old... ancient scroll home alone, where the family is so concerned with the world of the corporate

that they leave their only son to suffer the wrath of two demonic entities. He's all alone. Kevin McAllister. His name was Kevin McAllister. Can you imagine getting to the airport and realizing you left Kevin at the house? And you guys start to have this connection. Maybe you remember each other. Then yard time ends and now it's shower time.

Oh yeah. Go into the shower. It's an anti-gravity shower. So everyone drops the soap and it just goes up. Okay. And everyone just starts trying to reach for it. And they end floating up. And so you walk in and usually there's just a bunch of dicks just like kind of at eye level.

Am I healed or am I still at one HP? You're at one HP. Okay. So you guys are just taking a shower. You could do what you want with the seed. Yeah. I didn't write anything. They're spraying me with a hose.

Yeah, you're getting sprayed down. I don't want a shower. Yeah. Yeah, you're covered in dirt still. You have the same exact seed plays out. The electrician plays and you just get beat up again. I'm doing, I'm doing a home alone shower again, after shave, all that. Yeah, you're doing, you're getting, yeah.

That's how we shower every day. Yeah, you were so much fun in the shower every day. You see, the, the fucking, you walk into other people's showers so you can do that scene where he's like, get out of here, you little pervert. You see, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, is always a little afraid of the shower. it's like water's coming down and he like looks to you like come on ugh let me show you something and then me and ugh have a threesome

to that Britney Spears song three who's the third person? The third person is one of the prison guards one of the automaton one two three Peter Paul and Mary and I'm in the middle and I'm getting it from both the pictures I'm getting it an amazing shower

sex way. And we're floating. And we're kind of like, we're like rotating in the air. Yeah, like this. And it's not even so much sex as it is like all, our legs are just like crossing over each other and I'm in the middle.

And I just feel like the queen. After this is lunch and free time and you guys just roll through it just having sex. Like just fucking until somebody, some like at nighttime, some guy has to like close up and he comes and like shuts off the anti-gravity. And we just fucking hit the ground. The guard dies. Come on.

You have to, like, figure out what to do. But you guys, you guys end up, do you guys are doing that? You will go to dinner and you'll see why in a moment. But during your free time, what do you guys want to do? You can go to the library, you can go to the gym, you can stay in your cell. I'm doing paintings.

Doing painting. You're doing the painting class? Yeah. Okay. I'm doing, I'm working out, but it's like, so this is going to be, so I'm basically doing pushups against the wall, right? But above me on the, like, kind of the, Eve is a mistletoe that I hung up.

And every time I push to the wall, I kiss the wall. Oh, that's cool. I'm going under the mistletoe. I love that. Yeah, you're doing archives. Are you drawing more ways of Philip getting killed? Yeah, more ways of Philip getting killed than like self-portraits. Where I'm writing, my new name is bastard.

Bastard Yoda. It's, of course, as is a gun city occurrence. Like, it is a, like, anthropomorphic paintbrush that is teaching the class. And she's going, very good, Patrick. I'm bastard. Sorry. Bastard. She looks at the other prisoners, the other ones are all laughing. Charles Bastard. Oh, yeah.

I'm Charles Bastard. I bet his paintbrush is sexy, man. She's that hair. Yeah, that's why it was. Come on all. I was thinking, yeah. Wow. And, uh, yeah, roll, a charisma on that. Roll, roll a performance. See how good your paintings are. One. That one. Minus one. So it's a zero.

Yeah. This doesn't look like it. Because I did it with my own poop. Yeah. Today I'm having a bad day. because I got my ass beat. And I just discovered my new name, Charles Bastert. Charles Basterd and it's blood and shit all over the canvas. You were thrown out of the art class for the day.

But you said it was good. I was lying. But my other paintings of Philip getting murdered with good. They were actually were pretty good. It was just a really bad role today. Yeah, you're getting Jackson. I'm going to need a role to wipe my ass. And now I'm doing...

You have Sullivan the Lerick. on your back? I'm doing... Sullivan the log. I'm sorry, Gulliver the log. No, I was going to say I'm doing... I'm like stepping up. What's it called when you are just

stepping up and down, stepping up and down on a step? Oh. Steps. I'm doing that on Gulliver the log. I didn't know if there's an actual name for that exercise. I love you. I love you.

You can do goblet squats with him. Yeah, I'm doing everything with him. And I'm running on him like on when you run, when a hillbilly runs on a log. Yeah. He's like like like doing perfect running form

and then we see your on a log. Yeah. Oh man, that's actually very funny. Yeah, you get to going too fast. It's like, whoa.

Yeah. Webband is like completely smooth. Yeah, he's more like gulliver the Lincoln Law going to be looking. And you guys now it's dinner. That's a common roast on the prison yard. People are saying that to him all the time.

Yeah, Lincoln Law. I love him. you. And now it's dinner time. So you guys go you go to have dinner. You're all sitting in different places and there's a comedy show. Still at 1HP. And I still have my hair and a towel. Yeah. You have your... Should I even

I mean, a tall towel? I get my ass beat by the prison guards so much. Does that even affect me anymore? Would I die if I get into another fight? They're never going to kill you. Okay. I'm keeping you a lot. I'm spooning food into Gulliver's mouth because you can't feed himself.

And also because it stops him talking. And Phil turns to you. He's like, you're like completely beat up and bloody. It's like, well, I suppose even though Duku was a master of form two. I'm going to take it, Duke. Arguably, in his prime, the single greatest practitioner in the form. When I killed my wife and kids, I found that form to be rather limiting.

It didn't allow for height differentials to be considered. I mean, one must consider how often Duku came across an Anubu or an act dog or perhaps a one salacious bee crumb. And yeah, that's what he did. And then it's a comedy show today. And it's murder, suicide, Anthony, today is the... I hate comedy. Yeah, who are these guys over here? Yeah, who's this?

This little guy here, and he points to you. I'm Charles Bostard. Yeah, I bet you are. I bet you're a real bastard. I bet you got all kinds of bastards running around, right? Damn! Yeah, everybody's like... I'm trying to food, right?

Yeah, we have a plate of food. Yeah, you've played a food. Metal tray? Yeah. I rip it in half. I'm trying to make it into a shiv. I rush the stage. Keep my name out your fucking mouth.

Well, well, careful, buddy. I'm not a kid. You shouldn't be trying to go after me. I bet you pretend you're a child so you can have sex with kids. It doesn't work like that,

buddy. Trust me. Kids do not want to have sex with you. I'm not even allowed to stab them because something. Yeah, you're getting held back by the guards. PG-13s wouldn't even let you in.

He's drunk. You're this tall to ride the ride. That's on place. 50 times. Just in a row. Because I get my ass. He eats so many times. You have to be this tall to ride the ride and this much of a pedophile.

And you're too much. I can't hear any of this. He's going on and on and on. Why don't you try using the force on me? I bet you use it on kids all the time. He's just like going on. And he looks to you. Look at this furball.

No offense to the whodunnits. I see why they lent you you in their gang, though. Probably needed somebody a little less completely gay and weird. Right? This guy thinks he's genius. Jesus. More like Jesus. I was crying, laughing when he was roasting Patrick, but when he gets to me, I'm like, really quiet and like really upset and freaked out. Yeah, and I love you, Hoovians. You know I do. But sometimes you crumb across one of you and you think, okay, I get why people think you're freaks and why you smell like wet cats. And it's this guy. And like, then, oh, what is this? He sees you. A demon with a computer on his back. The towel falls off my head.

You know, I heard demons liked it rough, but imagine needing all those ports just to be satisfied. Oh, my God. Imagine needing a USB with a .Mov plugged into your ASS and fill you with dot com. Oh, man. What happened to bathing in the blood of the innocence? I guess you needed something that didn't fight back as much. Oh, I guess this floppy disc will do. And you're just, yeah, yeah, no.

Just crying. And like, yeah, he is specifically going. You guys haven't talked to each other in, like, years. and he's going after you three. And like, maybe this is the moment you remember your connection with what another? Is that happened or no? You're just like, nope. They just went after three random guys.

I stormed the stage and grab the microphone. Okay. All right, yeah. Let's have you roll initiative on this. I want you guys to try to go after this. Yeah. Oh, you know, yeah, I will also go after. Or I got up two.

Yeah, because you all had kind of the same reaction, basically. I got a 12. And, oh, wow, he did very badly. He got a 1. 18. I got a 2. All right. So there's going to be, here's what's going to be. There's murder suicide, Anthony.

There's the, and then there's like two automaton guards. What did you guys get? What did you get? What did you get 18? I got 18. Okay. What did you get? I got a 12, but I'm also at 1 HP. And then what did you get? I got a 2. You got 2? Okay, cool.

You are up first, Blotas. So you right now only have really melee and range, but you can be creative with some of the stuff you have around here. Yeah, well, I'm just trying to get to, So I assume the automaton's are in the way. Mm-hmm. Okay. Can I try and like...

Yeah, also, while this is happening, like the prison's going like, yeah, yeah, like everyone's hype to watch you guys try to fight, you know? Yeah. I'm going to try and just like push my way through them, like without attacking them. Just like try and get through them.

Yeah, let's just roll. Have you, like, it's just a shove. So let's just do, let's do a strength contest here. Three. Okay, they got a 14. So they shove you back against them. You are now up, Patrick Yoda. Well, I'm still getting...

Is it the... Are the two guards on the... They're still holding you back. So you're kind of grappled right now, so you can try to break free. All right, cool. Let's do that. That's a 14.

Okay, they only got a 12. So you're able to break free in this case. You can move close to murder, Anthony, suicide. Oh, I mean murder suicide, Anthony? I'm going to move close to him. Yeah, okay. You can get into melee form of him. Okay.

While you, when you blow your nose, we'll go to your turn. next. He's like, oh, what's this little guy going to do? You're going to try to suck my dick. You're right about at the height where my penis is. So you can try to suck it, I bet. But you'd not that. I bet I would like that. What, you'd knock that. I would like that because you're an adult man and I'm a gay man. You're gay. No, I'm just messing with you and everyone laughs. This is great for me. Why? You're gay. And I'm trying to think of what else was going to. Oh, yeah. You got shoved back by the guard.

back into the whodunit crowd. And, uh, do they catch me when I? Yeah, they catch you and they go. I'm like, yeah, you're embarrassing us. Get back out there. And they shove you back out there. And now it's your turn, Ray. I don't even want to fight this motherfucker man.

I want the mic. Okay, you want to go grab the mic. So you have to get past the guards now. So let's roll a strength contest, right? Hello, boys. Okay. You're going to try to do charisma? Yeah.

Okay, cool. So what do you say to them? Hello, boys. Do you want to see a real performer? Okay. Maybe. Okay, so let me through now. Okay, thank you.

Roll a charisma check. A 15. Okay, let's see how they, if they resist your charms. See if they're wise enough, that doesn't not count. I would have been, no one, but no. Yeah, they're not, they resist, they're not able to. So they're like, well, okay. I part them.

You part them, okay. So you're going up to the mic. You can say something in the mic now if you want to. Or actually, sorry, you have to grab it from murder Anthony suit. Murder, I keep on Murder Anthony Suicide. I'm just going to call him that. Um, and, uh, um, yeah, no, you're going to do your action this turn. So we go back to top of the order.

Bang. So it's actually murder Anthony's suicide turn. So he's going to try to sprint away from you guys. That provokes a reaction, a reaction if you guys want to have an opportunity. So you can either attack him or you can try to grab the mic. I try to grab the mic. All right. So let's care about attacking.

Yeah. Let's have you, let's do that first and then we'll do your attack. Okay. So I need a strength roll? Yeah. Crit. Create it. Crate.

Fail or crit? Four. Oh, okay. Crif four. 14. So he's able to rip the mic from you. now you can try to attack him while he's running away. Three.

A three to hit? Yeah, that doesn't hit him. So you just sort of whiff and miss. And so he gets a little bit further away from you. He's like, oh, man, I guess I got really got under these guys' skins, respective skins. And you're up now. Okay. I am going to try and I got mad now and I'm going to try and smash the automaton's together.

Okay, cool. Roll and attack roll. Attack roll. Yeah. That is a seven. Yeah, that's not going to hit that. What is going on with our rules? So you're weak.

You're weak. So you grab their head. You just kind of grab their heads. Yeah. And then I pretend. What are you doing? I pretend that I'm not strong enough to hit their heads together, so I pretend that I'm praying for them. Yeah.

And that I'm trying to. Or you can be like, look at these two. Look at these two beautiful guys. These three guys. Okay. And you're three of the most. And you're out, P. Yoda. Or bastard.

Charles B. Charles Bastard. So he's away from me now. Murder Anthony is away from me. Yeah, you can still run up to him, though. Yeah, I guess I'm going to find an object you can want to throw at him or something. Can I try and short circuit them? Does he have the microphone still?

He has a microphone. Is it wireless or wired? It's wired, of course. Okay, I'm going to try and cut the cable and pee on it so he gets electrocuted. Okay, I like that. So that there's like, you know, when there's a like an exposed wire in like a video game and then you pour water on it or use a water. The wire will no longer be connected to the electrical source, but I'll say that's like there's some residue.

No, like, you know, you know what I'm saying, though? I know exactly what I'm saying. They'll have like the cut and then I'll have like that. You say not cut all the way through the wire. Yeah, yeah. Oh. I know that there's still an electrical current going. 100%.

Yeah. Just take off the. Yeah. Like you. This is really decks. It's like slight a hand or like dexterity. So let's do what you have to do a dex check to try to cut through the wire. So that's going to be balancing ball.

I mean. That is a 13. Okay, cool. Yeah, you're able to, like, nick it appropriately. Is there a big jumping electrical current? Oh, yeah, there is. There is. So you want to pee on it?

I'm going to pee on it your next turn. That's your perfection. You're going to electrocate yourself. Maybe. They did a myth buster on this. Really? If you pee on the third rail, usually there's some, the droplets are hitting it,

but they're not connected to the whole stream. Depends how connected his stream is. It does depend on the force, but if he lets it dribble, he's fine. So before you pee, that'll be your next turn. you're up now. So the wiring has been cut in the mic. You can still try to grab the mic from him. Really crying with your pants down, trying to grab the mic.

My butt cheeks are still out. I haven't pulled up my pants. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I would like to grab it. And what I'm trying to do is grab it. Again, I don't give a fuck that this guy was mean. I don't like that he was getting more attention than me and being the star of the night.

Because I want to do some Jessica rabbit shit. So I'm going to try to grab that mic. Okay, cool. let's have you just roll a strength in the strength contest with Morg Anthony's suicide. Damn it, three. You got a 19, so yeah. I'm such a weak bitch.

I run away. Yeah. I just run away. I run away and I pull my butt cheeks back down. I pull them up to run away and I pull them back down and I just look at the wall. Oh, my God. Look at this pervert here as you're running away. And the guards grab you and apprehend you.

No! Which does give you a chance, I would say, to push through on your turn. But first, murder Anthony's suicide is going to like rally the crowd up, get them excited. he's not going to run further away. He's watching you guys kind of fall apart. You're back to the top of the order for you.

So I feel like I've kind of realized that the physical approach is not going to work for me. So I'm going to try and use my words. And I'd like to stand up as if I'm a heckler at the show. And I'd like to say, You've already been on stage. Just reset. And I stand up and I say, Anthony, heed the word of blotas,

change your ways okay roll now roll christmas it's gonna have to be pretty good blow toss chris four okay everyone's like

boo no that's Halloween that's Halloween I'm a Christmas guy I love you I put some oatmeal on his mouth and dinner is oatmeal

okay yep and you're up now all right this is my pee okay that seems like it's a solid stream we're getting such fucking bad rolls

I know what the fuck is happening. What'd you get a... These dyes actually feel weighted. They don't roll. I throw it and it just sits there. You know what it is? It's this fucking thing.

It might be that thing. It is a little bit overly solid. Yeah, you take enough damage that you die. I mean, you'll be revived in your prison, but you are knocked out unconscious. Wait. However, murder your dick, I go like,

however, murder antly suicide. You pee and you, eh. Why you go say this? Just zap yourself and let us. Actually, not even like shaking, just like when you go stiff from all. And as you're like collapsing on the floor, you see even Phil is pointing and laughing at you. And even I am.

And even he is. I think something is shifting inside my brain when I see him die. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think I'm memories are coming back. Yeah. Of us all dying together. Yeah.

Yeah. Because I don't really remember them. I just remember being a shit. Yeah, being a shit. Because that was the one, I could have gone through all my memories, but I stopped at that one because it was so horrific. Yeah. And you're all forcibly thrown back in your cells for the night. I really wanted to murder Anthony suicide.

Yeah. I feel like I've seen that guy die before. Yeah. You're all thrown back into yourselves with your respective cellmate. You see Ugg. Ug is like sort of like, Ug is wearing a housewife dress. He is now just.

that's me. That's you, right? Oh, you're not both right. He's wearing his suit and tie. He's sort of like petting your head. He feels bad. I'm crumpled in his arms like this. That's happened to you. And then he like, his eyes turned glowing white and he starts to quote the Bible and he starts to squeeze you too tight.

Oh, that's so sweet. And then he remembers and he tries to be nice again. You are in the, are there. You're like lying dead. Like basically like you can't move. And Phil is just talking at you constantly about mostly Thrawn right now.

I don't really believe that Thrawn could have risen that far without the force, but I also think that you have to consider things like force suppression, right? So there are, well, there's potentially ways in which the force can be suppressed through cell manipulation. Now, if we're just sitting, just like, yeah, yeah. Right, Chubaca actually had this same thing happen at him.

And so, yeah, and you're just, and then you're just sitting there with, what are you doing with Gulliver? Because you kind of have a different relationship with him. Gulliver the log. Gulliver the log, yeah. I guess that I, sort of like a tomoguchi. I'm trying to get Gulliver to grow into a full Christmas tree. Oh, I love that. Okay.

I'm trying to water him. Yeah. And give him love. He like put wateries and, but I'm humming, humming music to him. Because I heard that helps plants grow. I love that. I love that. Yeah.

And so he's just like, going around. Hey, I'm fertilizing him. And then all three of you. What? I'm just going to say it. I'm being honest about what I'm doing. Put my voice on. All three of you then hear something. Do you want to get out? Do you want your power back? No. No. Why are you laughing at me? Do exactly as I say. To not get my power back or to get it back? Get it back. Okay, then I won't do this. I like the idea that you guys are like hearing his conversation with each of you.

Yeah. To get it back. The only way out of meme is through the planet. You'll have to infiltrate, okay. You'll have to infiltrate these gangs. I'll do what I can to help you get your powers back bit by bit. So we can undo the soul casting that makes you so pathetic. That is the only way you'll be able to push through for now.

Is that you, Kevin? No, just a friend. Cindy Lou? What? No. Ralph, what's his name? Ralphie? And then the lights explode on.

And throughout the class D cells. I go flying backwards. Carls. Back to the future. Not just... Not just automatads, but human actual... Well, sentient guards are... Human boys.

Guards are running around the halls, conferring with one another, then darting somewhere else. You hear the inmates hooping and hollering. Something has happened. And you see, ugh, his eyes go white. He becomes like angelic. And he says in like, you never heard him speak like this, really, except when he usually is trying to kill you.

They got him. Hug suddenly says murder suicide Anthony is dead good he was rude and I wish this is just

a small gift and there'll be more to come a gift my god it's buddy I'm not buddy the elf

buddy the elf what are you talking about deep strong man am I Can I even like do anything right now? Because I'm like dead. I thought you guys talked to each other still.

I'm like on my bed. Who are you talking about? This is going to be so much harder. I thought it was going to be. Why don't you just explain what's going on? Oh my God. See, I don't know. You're saying I used to be a really tough guy.

No, no. Yes, you did. I used to be a really tough guy. Yes. When he's saying yes, when you're saying yes, I think that you're saying yes to being Buddy the elf. No, I'm not, I'm not Buddy the elf. Buddy, it's Buddy.

I'm telling Gulliver, buddy is here. When I learned that I used to be a tough guy, I kind of take a deep breath and I look at the mirror. That was just one death, and I can help you cause many more and be free of this place. Yes. Okay. Death. I'm getting the feeling that you are the devil. Nope.

a nice guy, super nice. Buddy. Buddy the elf. But most importantly, for all three of you to understand is how not. Buddy, the elf. I don't know what that is. That's what Buddy the elf would say if he was real. I'll do anything you say, buddy.

Reach into your memories the next time you leave your cell and go to breakfast. Remember one another. Who is who? What do you mean one another? Who should I remember? And he's gone. I just had the weirdest phone call in my head. I like also that if you, since you guys couldn't hear what I was saying, I assume,

it's just like you had this evil Satan voice that just kept over and over saying, and I'm not. Yeah. And the next morning comes through. And yes, murder Anthony's suicide or murder suicide Anthony. He was killed in his cell. He's breakfast now. His breakfast, yeah.

Can we eat his bacon? You can eat his bacon. They're serving him for breakfast? You have to guess. They have to. They usually do find a way to serve prisoners if they can, more prisoners, saving them, cost savings.

I'm trying to figure out who was the person that he's talking about. So I'm walking up to everybody and just kind of like, what do you want? Mean dogging them until they, who are you? My name's, my name's Gary. I killed a lot of kids.

Nice to meet you. You don't sound familiar. All right. What kind of kids? I targeted black kids mostly. That's not good. Yeah, it was bad. Really bad.

You don't sound like someone I used to hang out with. Even though I'm a bastard. You were going to say that. Even though I'm a bastard. What kind of a question is what kind of kids? I mean, you gave no choice. Big kids. I kind of said.

Yeah, you keep doing that. You can go it around. You keep fighting on everybody's crimes. Who are you? My name is Martin. Did you kill black kids? Nope, that was Gary. He killed a lot of black kids.

Okay. Really bad stuff. Like, specifically targeted them for decades. This guy sounds like more of a bastard than me. He is evil. But I'm just a simple bastard. I just stole some money and, well, I pushed a lady down the stairs. Oh, you are.

We should have. Wait a minute. We should start a bastards gang. Hey now, now we're talking. How about me, you and the Black Kid Killer? I don't know if we should

Let's go find more bastards. I don't know if we should keep hanging out or voicing Gary. All right. Maybe Gary was just a joke. We'll let go with our bastard.

But let me and you, let's go find more bastards. Yeah, sure. Okay. By the way, everyone, we're a new game. We're starting a new gang called the bastards.

You wander in your the top of a staircase, he's like, he wants to push you down so bad. He's whatever someone is on stairs. He's like, no, no, no. I'm not an old lady. You never hurt another bastard. That's the first rule of bastards.

We never hurt any other any other bastards. By the way, you've got to shave your head and grow a big mustache. I have a, I can't. Well, grow it the best that you can. I'm a quarter Cherokee, so I actually don't grow facial hair. All right. Could you step away from the stairs because I'm going to fucking tell you?

But you don't think this is your first test. This is your first test, bastard. This is your first test. I'm going to stand near the stairs. And if you, I'm going to stand here for 10 seconds. And if you don't push me. If you don't push me, you're a bastard. Yeah, there's, yeah, 18 hits.

You can push down the stairs. You're not a bastard. You take five damage. You're at the bottom. You're no longer. You're in the bastards. You're a... I'm sorry, man.

I'm sorry. And he sprits away. You have three health now. Yeah. Yeah. And you guys... All right. So I'm just looking for bastards.

I'm like doing the crossword. Yeah. And I watch all this and kind of peeking. Going out. Roll wisdom. Owl wisdom. Okay. 15.

The word in the crossword is bastard. Yeah. Yeah. Bastard. And you look up... You see him. With that 15, you start to... You have flickers of memories.

You remember him wrapping his foreskin around you to heal you. You remember him saving you from your own clone trying to attack you and kill you when you were in the temple. Like you have these flashes of these memories. I'm sitting. I'm on my own at a table. I'm rocking back and forth and I'm repeating to myself. I'm going, buddy's here. Buddy's here.

Buddy's here. Then I'm looking around. I look. My vision stops on you two looking at each other. I say, I slowly stop, I say, buddies. I kind of clint my, I kind of like, buddies here. Buddies here. I kind of Clint Eastwood, my jaw, like this sort of thing.

We just hear the very first part of crazy train. Yeah. And then I go back to. Yeah. And you're just like, you're just like, knocked out on the staircase. Like everyone's looking at you. The electrician starts playing again. While I'm getting up, I get up really slow.

Boom, baby, it's slow. Somewhere, somehow something is communicating with you and trying to bring you guys back together. And next time we're going to begin the actual escape from Neme. And so you guys, the way this is going to go, by the way, this is a prison escape, you know, adventure. And you're going to slowly learn how. the mechanics of this work. Remember this? Well, yes.

It's Caleb fucking a bug. But you're going to learn it through. We're going to, I'm going to basically explain most of the mechanics in one go. But before that, you're going to, we're going to kind of get you there. So you wake up, right? You know, there's like this insane light blasts that, like, wakes everybody up in the prison. Like that? Like that.

Like my light. Yeah, that's right. Wait, can we get a punch in on the light? People see the, I think it's in the corner. Yeah, I don't think they see how big it is. Yeah. Why am I pissing you off? Also, again, when have we ever had punch-ins in the last four years?

I mean, I was saying somebody could stand up and just move the camera to show how big the light is. You think we should do that? I think people are going to like to see how big this light is. They'll see the light at some point. The light flashes and wakes you guys up. Yeah, take a picture of it. everyone will know that where it's from do you guys see how can you guys tell the relative size in this phone how big the light is it's a huge light so it's very big and uh you guys do a neural roll call so basically

like you're like it goes down the whole line of people and then you guys get like a vibration in your brain to say that you're present um if you don't say that you're present your brain bleeds and you miss half the day so everybody usually has to say that they're present um i say i'm presence Okay, your presence. You're fine. Christmas. It clears. Christmas. Yeah.

The LLM figures it out. It sorts through it. And you guys get a second voice in your head, though, or a second kind of like internal thing. And it's the voice that spoke to you earlier. And it says to you guys, I can do this. Oh, you think you can? Now your journey begins to escape Neme.

What you must do today is find a way to get into the medical. Ward. I don't care how you do it. Just find a way to get into the medical ward when you would typically be doing your work tasks. Understood. I'd slip my wrists. That's a good plan. That's a great idea. Okay. I'm killing

myself. Okay. Yeah, you start doing that. Yeah, shit. I mean, I don't even want you. You don't even really have to roll anything to like the guards. That's happening. Philip, Philip is like underneath. your wrist, the blood and trying to get... I'm putting blood. I'm putting blood on him.

Yeah, he's very excited by this. I'm losing it too. I rush directly to the medical war. We're not even going to send you to breakfast. Yeah, okay, yeah. I use materials in my cell, and I put together a present, and I put on the tag to it,

I say, two sick prisoners. And then I have to deliver it there because I'm like Santa Claus. Okay, I like that. So you're walking towards... I put Gulliver in the box. You're walking towards... Yes, you're walking towards, you're muted,

you're walking towards the medical ward. Like you're being there, and one of the guards stops you go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. He said, ho, ho, ho, ho. Ho. Oh, ho, ho.

What? Go. Roll persuasion. That's a 16. Nice. Yeah, even with your low stats, that works this time. And we're going to have a slightly different

mechanic for that going forward, but for this, that's perfect. And he's like, uh, right this way. And like, uh, he's like, he starts going, Merry Christmas. Like, just like, quietly to himself confused. What about you? How are you going to get some milk award? Uh, what is my work assignment for the day? So, um, your work assignment for the day, what is it today?

Oh, we look at the tasks. Can I also retconn? I think I said I looked like, uh, Vince Vaughn and Brawl and Cell Block 99. I'll keep that, but can I also say I like grew out my, my beard and my hair and I look like Santa Claus. Yeah, Santa. But I have Oak Square shaved in the back of my head so you can still see the cross. So, cell block 99, Santa Claus.

Now you're looking more like Vince Vaughn and Fred Claus. Yeah. Fred Claus 99. Roll in North Pole 99. Yeah. There we go. Right. The Neme task today is, oh, yeah, this one.

Trash Exterminator. So you got to collect waste and has suits. Sometimes they're hazardous and will hurt you. That's your job. Wait, did I skip breakfast also? Yeah, you just darted away from breakfast. Can I go to breakfast and then do this? Can you bring me breakfast?

I'll bring you some breakfast. I don't have a great idea for what to do right now, but I do a lot of my best thinking in the shower, so I'm going to go grab hug and maybe go think of this over. Okay. Come on, hug. Okay, so you go to the shower and... There's a couple things I want to bounce off you.

A couple of ideas in the shower. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, he comes with you to the shower. Okay. And then it's shot exactly like, you know, we did that. What was the sex scene we did last time when I was in the shower? It was like, I think like the matrix sex scene. Yes, I think so. So now we're going to go. Shashank. And we're going to go, we're going to do. We're going to do the departed. Okay. Comfortably numb is playing behind us. Yeah. And Ugg sort of takes me on the, on the sink.

Okay. And then I come out and I say, I've got it. And then I go to work and the first piece of trash that I have, I swallow and it gets stuck in my throat and you can see the outline of it. Okay, cool. I'm choking on it. Okay. Great. So it's crazy. Notice how he said I didn't bring him any breakfast. Yeah, he said that. He didn't say that. Well, well, well, what is the trash in my throat? You're about to see when I cough it up, buddy. Oh, my God. Hope you're hungry. I'm really hungry. So you guys head to the medical war. Your boat. It's a fruit cop. Almost. dying. We're going to have to, we'll resolve that in a second. No, I guess we'll have to resolve it now because we're at the medical ward. Roll constitution saving throw. Wow. 13.

Okay, cool. Yeah, you're able to stay conscious right now. Subtract 2 HP from your current HP. What's 8 minus 2? That's going to be 6 this time. And for you... You should do the same thing? Yes, indeed.

Well, you're, yeah, it's Constitution Saving throw, but different thing is happening to you. Six. Six? That's a five, minus one. Minus one. Five. Oh, I got a 12. Does that change anything?

No. Okay. You pass out. Me? Yeah, yeah. Put your HP to zero. You'll pass out. You passed out.

Put it to zero. That's what made you pass out. And you're getting, uh, you arrive with the present and you see, um, a doctor there. In this case, this is Dr. Beehive. He has a wonderful beehive on his head. You see him dig around in there and find a little bee, whisper something to it, and fling it out of the window into the Neme prison complex. Bebrother seed.

We're going to be seeding the bee brothers into this future setting. And he sees you and he gets his medical staff around and he goes. They're going to have to cut open your throat. Take it out. Trachia off. We're going to have to do this. After remove your head. It's fine.

They go like clear. They like, they like slit open your throat. I'm going to have to roll a medical check for him, a medicine check. They slit you open starting at your belly button. They go all the way up. That's not great.

Luckily he has plus five on that. So that is a 14. So you are okay. Zero. Yeah. Add your HP to one. This is, you cannot do this if you do not have a quick trip to the medical award.

But, uh, he's able to revive you. And he says to you all, I assume the voice got to you, three. Whoa. Wait,

were all the same room? Did you put, was it a fruit cup that they removed? Yeah. Did they put it in like one of those trays? Yes, it is. Okay.

I'm like kind of like side stepping over towards it. Yeah, you'll slide a hand on that. Dude, I got it for you. Dig it. Four. Okay.

Yeah, you just knock it over. It's open. The fruit cups open. The fruit cups open. It's spills on the floor. I'm just standing there like, like,

I'm realizing I'm not getting breakfast. I'm so upset. Dude, I brought it for you. I know, it's my own fault. That's why I'm so upset. So he says to you all that if you three were brought here by the voice then? This is this voice.

Oh, it's a bug like earthbound. Yeah, I was going to have him to do something like that, but I feel like it's going to be annoying vocally. You mean buddy the elf? Buddy the elf who spoke to us as we established. You thought it was buddy to the elf. Thought I knew. Well, yes, let's give him a zip more of like a zip.

Yes, we, I did believe we all heard. We all heard the voice. Yeah. Good. What voice? I'm going to help you get your powers back. And I need to be reimbursed for the materials that I used to make this prison. You'll have to take that up with the prison.

The prison operations team. The prison operations team. Let me go reach out to the prison operations team. I don't know. I walk over the wall and I dial on one of the phones on the wall. G-O-T.

Hold up. Potty. Whoa. And so basically the way this works, he says, is that you guys are going to come to him. And he's going to help you get rid of your soul-casted state.

And the only way to do that is to fight to escape. And if you fight to escape, not fighting each other necessarily, but trying to escape, and he's going to also inject you with something. The substance. We're going to get younger women. Whoa. We're going to get younger women? Versions of us.

Okay. We'll start allowing you guys to build back your strength. He's going to put you on a special medical program. where every five days you'll return. The days are going to go by very fast in this campaign. And you also might be able to volunteer to work in the medical ward, but we'll get to that. He injects us in you, he says,

The Voice has a plan to get you free. He truly feels that you three will be able to save Gun City. It's most certainly doomed. And you three are the only ones who could probably help. us. Yeah, most likely. We're good at that. No, we're losers.

Hey, don't say that. I'm a loser. You're not a loser. All I do is go to the shower and just think. When he injects you, I want you guys to go to your sheets because you're going to start getting used to doing this. And adding to it. Okay.

Adding. Make your armor class 10. Make your max HP 10. Fully heal yourselves. And put in your hit die area, 1D8, and you'll have hit die again. Oh, my God. I'm a fucking beast. Wow.

So. Do we get muscles? You get slight muscles. When this thing goes in you... Do I have a vein that pops in my arm? Yes. Like, not in your arm, buddy. One big vein in your penis.

This is a special version of techno slime. The Snickers bar veins. That is very experimental. Like, it only gives this to you once every five days. When I do, I'll be able to help restore your techno-slim abilities as well. But while you have this inside of you, it will slowly erase the soul cast as long as you work to escape. What material is the wall made out of? Hamburger bun.

Hamburger bun. I punch the shit out of it with my new power. It's just like kind of squeaks off of it. Squeaks? Squeaks? Squeaks? Squeaky bun? You, y'all do it different on Long Island, man?

Squeaky buns. Squeaky buns. So the way this is going to work, this is like during your work session, your days are broken down into, and you can, Caleb, you can probably see all the tables I have here. Dude, the text is too small. Yeah, but you can probably see the tables I have. You have like your wake-up call. I can see the table you have. You have your breakfast.

You're going to have your assigned task. Then you're going to have your midday rations. It's a Joe Box reference. Which will adjust. We'll talk about that when we get to that part of this, of this. Then you're going to have time in the yard. then you're going to have every five days you'll have cognitive conditioning which we'll talk about what that is then you'll have dinner and you'll have free time have been locked down I love free time my favorite's lockdown wait no that's the bad one dude dude dude dude you're lockdown is when you hear do do do do going all the way down I like that because it reminds me a blue man group I hate I am I have a chart here where I'm tracking of the stats you're gaining over time okay

As you guys do tasks, so for example, you're going to start by doing only Neme-approved tasks. And those will raise a random-based stat when you do them. If you complete them to a plumb, you can get potentially other benefits. As you guys go through your days, you'll meet, you'll decide who you want to ally with to break out of the prison. There's a number of different gangs. There's the warden program, which is the warden herself. there's the prison operations team there's a prison operations team

that's under the warden there's the doctor here who you can continue to align with and ask for advice and those are kind of the three main groups the gangs though there's like six of those that you can align with and once they start to know who you are

they will start to recruit you and then they will raise specific attributes for you guys so you will be able to rebuild up to your original max stat, which I have from Roll 20. Or you can choose to rebuild yourself,

which will cost you like twice as many stat points to do, but you can unlock hidden abilities that you'd never had. And that's how you also recover... Recover lost memories. Recover fake memories, basically. Like have false memories. Change yourself.

Yeah, basically change yourself. Yeah. Okay. Snake vibes. That's pretty cool. Now, the gang task will give you those. They'll also allow you to build relationships with the gangs. The warden task will give you a random bonus stat

plus a temporary plus one to all of your stats for the next day. Doctor visits, you do these every five days, and you could choose to do them. You can also not go to the doctor. My dad, bud. The doctor beehive. Right. But if you do go to Dr. Beehive,

they give you plus one total techno slime for your abilities. And they also help you build towards unlocking hidden abilities. So these will help you build relationships And then those folks will give you insight To other things other ways to escape The doctor is going to give you one way Eventually Guaranteed

But like that you'll like learn about as you continue Maybe you won't worry about it. You can just die But the gangs if you do well In the task can give you items Weapons and armor The warden will give you more freedom in the prison So you can control your schedule if you do well for her The medical ward will give you

The world will give you The medical ward will give you A wardess. New abilities, typically. Task will automatically give you a plus one to anything you do. So whatever you do,

you automatically get a plus one. But if you do better, you get those bonuses. After you've done enough tasks or during extraordinary events, and this is where I'm tracking these things, you may recover an old power. And I will hand you something

that is an old power and you're going to recover in memory. Those are your old powers that are like base powers that you'll have. Yeah. I want that most of all. Yeah.

Yeah. I miss my old powers. Let's get to go do that. Yeah. Finally, neem tasks, you do them, and whenever you do them, you subtract a suspicion. Right now you guys are at, everybody's at 12 suspicion. Out of? Our reputation.

Out of, out of max 20 of suspicion. Oh, my God, or above average. So, well, you want to be lower on suspicion. I know. So the, oh, I see what you're saying. Okay. I'm stupid. So what it is is that when you do a task, if you do a name task that day,

you minus one suspicion and you gain a plus one but if you go do something weird you have to roll you gain a suspicion no matter what and you have to roll or rather the guards roll and if they get under your suspicion

then they let you do it if they don't get under your suspicion you lose a task for that day oh damn so the idea being that wouldn't it be the other way it's harder and harder for them to what

how do you mean they roll under your suspicion yeah it's then we don't get to do the test oh sorry if they're If you go under the suspicion, you do get to do that. Sorry, I said that the wrong way. No, because the suspicion's higher, it's easier to roll under. And they roll in 18, 19, or 20, then we are suspicion goes up. No, for the...

Oh, I fucked up. Sorry. I said... Yeah, if they roll under, then we don't get to do the task. If they roll above, then you do. Sorry about that. Yes. It's like, so each... Each time you do a Neme task, you might want... Like, we have a 12, and if we try to do something and they roll a 10, then we don't get to do it. But does our suspicion increase then? No, your suspicion wouldn't increase. It'll just stay. No, because then you just get locked on loop.

What increases our suspicion? If you do like a gang task or if you do a task for the warden. What decreases the suspicion? Doing a normal task. Regular name task. Now, the last thing too is that like those things will also change. Can we seduce the warden? I'd like to start by doing a normal task and I want to wash it.

I want to wash everyone's feet. Okay. Well, because you're Jesus. Well, the first thing. I just said that to be random. I didn't know Jesus did that. Oh. Did he do that?

He washed everyone's feet. Yeah, dude. That's the last supper. He washed everyone's feet? Yeah. They're lying to me. Because they went eating what they told us. Did I'm I, Jesus?

Yeah. I didn't know that. You didn't know that Jesus washed everyone's feet, all of his disciples' feet. Yeah. Why did he do that? And Mary's a freak. Bored. Because he was, because he wanted to humble.

Why not their hands? Because the hands, nobody. Yeah, they're not using their feet for dinner. Yeah, but they're using their feet. You're lying to me. He didn't really do that. He really does. You know and shit.

He's not telling the truth. Still, I mean, it's not, there's no reason to wash every. Hey, if you're going out of it. He says, the last thing Dr. Beehive says to you guys is, when you return in five days, I'll tell you a little bit more about the plan that the voice has to get you out of here. For now, though, who are you? I'm Dr. Beehive. Also, Patrick never got cured from sledding his wrists, didn't he?

They only worked on Caleb. It's fine. Although the injection in him cured him. How did that? I'm losing so much blood. I have no idea. Who are you? He's just like not paying it to me.

What do you mean? Also, I'd like to give my gift to us. I didn't give my gift to anybody yet. Who's the sickest looking, youngest looking guy in there? So there is one of the gangs is the PG-13s who are all kid criminals. There's a little, really sick kid.

I'm going to go give my present to the sick kid. The tiny tim. A present, duh, you fucking stupid. Oh, oh, dear. And he opens it and he sees. I'm leaving before he opens it. I love you. you.

Yeah. Oh, I love you too. My cellmate's gone. Hi, I love you. I'm giving my cellmate away. And they just are saying that back and forth to each other.

Dude, I got a single. You got a single. You got a single. Batch pad. That's pretty sick, dude. Do you have a party?

Can we throw a houseboy party for the batch pad? Yeah, also like, as you guys get more relationships with different characters or you can ask if you know, if you want Philip to do something for you, if you want Ugg to do something for you, you can try those things. You know, there's risks involved, obviously,

both. I'm jealous of his single cell, and I want to psychically drive Philip into killing himself. That's also something you can try doing for sure. The thing is, is that in Neem, they don't let you die. But if you can find a way to maybe make him catatonic, something I've thought about doing. I would like to... Can I do that with a hammer and a nail? Where are you going to get those?

You're going to have to steal them from... You have to make them catatonic, but also not medically in trouble, so they won't fit. I said, right? Is he, what is Philip? Just a man? He's just a guy. Dude, give him something that just distracts him. You need to convince it.

Catatonic. You just need to get him out of commission. And he loves, there's something he loves. And by the way, we're in space. He does love killing. He loves killing and he loves Star Wars. Same him out to space. They do, there's a Leia bug.

Oh, there we go. Hey, Philip, there's a a woman who looks like a. your wife on the on the in the near the airlock near the airlock right now you're inside of a planet so there's no airlock oh yeah there's no we'll get there right now you guys are going so typically we are in space but in kind of like a spinning blue rock yeah style typically you guys would be you need to mentally you need to do some kind of psychological hypnotism typically you guys oh i'll build a rocket and then have gone to lunch and you'll meet gang members

and stuff and different people who can give you research for these things. But in this case, you're going to go right to, lunch is going to be shortened today to midday. I'm fucking wolfing my lunch because I missed breakfast. Lunch is a lot shorter today. It's just, it's just, it's just, um, uh, midday rations, which are just a giant hamster feeder. I want to,

I want to put my hand under the hamster feeder, get a big glob, and I want to walk up to the king of the peckerwoods, the driver of that car, and I want to fucking put my food right in that cracker's face. the pecker woods the racist gang you got the woods

the blacks the Mexicans oh there's no pecker woods here there's no what kind of fucking prison is this there's no woods the gangs are who's the closest

to peckerwood oh good question who is the most racist here probably the hives well they're all racist is the point of prison right

well that's the dream but it's probably the hive because they are all technically the same guy sounds about why I'm going to walk up and I'm going to put my food. So the leaders of the hive, the hive are...

Don't they have a main guy? Yes, they do. So the thing is that they're these prisoners, so the different gangs are, there's the hive, there's the sisterhood of incarcerated V-girls, there's the PG-13s, there's the Slimehamers, there's the bubble bouncers. And there's the...

I want to join the bubble bouncers. The bubble bouncers offer no benefits. They are... Except for the name. They are chill, though. You can just do stuff with them and you get really... Can't they bounce?

Really high? Yeah, yeah. They're bouncing bubbles. They're bubble bouncers. It wouldn't theoretically if I stacked a bunch of bubbles on top of each other. Couldn't I bounce insanely high?

You could... Yeah. Couldn't I bounce over the wall of the prison? Well, the way the prison works is that you're inside of like a building. We're like underground. Really inside, like,

below the mantle of this move. Can I see above me? Can I see like a city or something? Maybe like so outside of this prison? There are planes that fly above. No. So outside of this. Well there's there's like helicopters and like like like we're like a helicopter. We're like a big underground prison and like you can kind of you are able to and we'll get into this. But like there is like a surrounding city that is populated entirely by people who like it's basically like a company town but for a prison. And they celebration Florida style. Yeah. And there is. say you can go there technically. If you can find a way out, it's super high security. By stacking every single bubble on top of each other and bouncing so high. I have a feeling, though, that we're probably not going to escape until the end.

Yeah, but it might not even be worth trying. Yeah, you might get killed. Good point. But also, we've tricked me before. You can't die, though. We've skipped. We've done huge speed growing glitches. Yeah.

That's what I'm trying to do with this bubble glitch. I'm trying to enact a bubble glitch. And I'm trying to artificially slow it down. But we'll see what happens. I was going to say, sorry, yeah. So these different groups, they have, like, local leaders for these Class D prisons. You guys are in the class. Remember, you're technically class gun.

Uh-huh. You're, like, the most dangerous, but you were destroyed molecularly. Oblivated. So you could be bitches. Oblivated. Oblivated. Of the lowest level prisoners, the Class D bad boys. Can I tell you what my basic plan is for my time in prison?

Yes. And you can tell me what task I would do here. I basically want to be a goody-two shoes. Okay. But on the low, I'm actually a hitman. And for all the different gangs, I'm taking jobs from them and bumping people off. You're popping bubbles, bitch. If that's what you're imagining.

All the other gangs are putting out hits on the bubbles and I'm just only popping the balls. The best path for that would be a combination of doing, of like getting to know the warden doing tasks for her. I'll start by meeting up with the warden. And the, well, you'll, my first day of prison. That's the smartest thing to do. You'll see what happens. Can I get a meeting with the warden, please? And I'm going to go through the prison operations team.

Yeah, okay. And the who are very helpful. Yeah. The whoodunits are. They don't fuck with me though. But if you could try to get them to fuck with you, that would be, they'd be a great way to get. Can I start today by trying to get to the warden? Yeah.

You're going to have a chance to me with the warden in the second. Okay. Like that's going to happen in this. Can I meet with the counselor? The counselor? Like this. There is no mental health counselor here. There's cognitive conditioning.

But there's not like a counselor. Can I meet the conditioner? Is there a bowl of condoms? The conditioner is, you'll see what the conditioner is. Is there a bowl of- Is there a bowl of-gang? Is there a bowl of condoms? Like, you know how they have that when you're in college places?

Yeah, like in the medical ward, there's like, you know, fucking- Their food bank? Sexual, like, preventative measures. The fuck am I saying? There's like, you know, condoms and shit like that. What? They're like a food bank? When you say shit like that, what other stuff is, like, condoms?

Oh, a blowjob machine? Blow job machine. I'll pick one of them. Automatic blowjob machine. I'll pick up an automatic blowjob machine. I think I'm not getting fertility. Fertility treatments to increase fertility. Can I get increased?

Can I get increased? In vitro fertilized. Yeah, they have that there. No, you cannot get in vitro. There's sperm around, though. They got sperm on a table. There's also. Really?

Can I have some? And there's the sperm on a table. He said that it's true. So you guys will. And then, sorry, last thing. So then these guys have local kind of like gang leaders who you'll get to know.

And then most of them, with the exception of the bubble bouncers, have a leader who is in a lower level of the prison who you'll meet eventually. Can I walk up to the bubble bouncers real quick and just ask them a question? Yeah, so you guys are right now at feeding time basically is what this is.

This is what lunch is. Hey guys, I've been meeting to wonder about this. Were you all arrested like at the same, for the same crime? And also, what was the crime? and why are you here? They like, you think they turn towards you and one of them bounces a little bit.

That's it. Okay, just working in on that. Can we get a bubble translator? Well, do they speak? Oh, wait. Okay, you're speaking about. Hello. Let's roll.

What would that even be? I guess wisdom. Intelligence, you're trying to interpret what their, it's like intelligence. It's kind of wisdom. I fucking suck. I got it too. You got it too. Technically a one.

I just make a fool of myself. Yeah, you just look like an ape. Well, that was not happening. And lunches again shorter today. Yeah. And we're going to head right into, for today, we're going to head right to the cognitive conditioning session. Normally you'd go to the yard and play games,

but we're going to have you guys go right to the cognitive conditioning session. The cognitive conditioning session, you all are strapped to what were chairs that would send you to Dematrix 2. But in this case, what they do is they just lock you into and you see a vision of this beautiful cyber face and this is of the warden and she just says

aphorisms at you such as love prison love chains love slavery love obedience and she says this to you over obedience and chocolate cake she breaks though for a second and you guys wouldn't know but she's speaking, she's doing similar to what the voice did.

Speaking of you. And saying, I wanted to welcome you three, our newest prisoners, to the Neme prison complex. I'm excited to be here, Ms. Warden, Ms. I should say, because I don't know. And, well, I look forward to getting some FaceTime with you and just chatting about ways we could improve this, make it a little bit more difficult for some of the prisoners to subsist. Role persuasion. and just talk about all types of various topics. Six.

Okay. Six. Yep. And six. And it's a six. Yeah. And I'm a six. Well, I look forward to that as well. I hope you three will continue to follow the rules to a plum.

There will be no more incidents like there was with murder Anthony. We didn't do that. Or I'm sorry. But I will see you all. I'm sorry for your loss. What are the rules to a plum? the rules to a plum what are the rules to a plum

fucking thing in the middle don't turn it into a prune yeah well we can all I'm sure I'll be that would be such an incredible collection of poetry

that'd be a great like rap song from 1987 where he walks you through step number one when it comes to a plum make sure it's right make sure it's right you have more fun

if it's got a stripe don't even know Don't be a bum. Watch up for that plum. If it's got a starry to eating a plum. It's pretty iced tea. The pits. Don't eat the pits.

Throw away the pit. That ain't it. That pits got filled with arsenic. Don't give it to your dog. But you don't want your dog. This is called the stem. It's the creme de la creme. The best.

Part of the plum is the stem. It's just so tasty. And it's only one bite. So please don't waste me. Rule number four, have some more. All right. When you're done, just throw the plum on the floor. And you guys, and she says, I'll be looking forward to hearing more of your musings about plums, I'm sure.

I bet you. I bet you will. Why wait? A plum is a fruit. It'll knock off your boots. And she starts, she goes back to her, like, her aphorisms. and you guys are slowly being like indoctrinated into the

prison. She's saying, why is she saying Africanisms to us? Yeah. It's not. You guys are actually saying Africanisms to her. It is a good question. You know what? I just decided something. What's up? I'm going to make a documentary about how fucked up this prison is. Okay.

Are you? Yeah. That's a really good idea. I need a camera. Aren't you a camera? This is where if you're talking about a computer, man. You were thinking about access to this. There's a couple different ways. First of all, obviously, if you want to do this, getting close to the warden helps.

Also, thinking of who other gangs would have access to stuff. The Slimenheimer's would have some technology. The V-The V-Gurals definitely would have access to cameras. They do a lot of stuff with video. And they probably make YouTube videos. Yeah, they do a lot of stuff like that. We'll talk to them hoes. And generally, the whodunits have resources.

That's kind of generally their thing. But I just need a camera. Maybe a sound guy. Yeah. I offer. Production designer. I offer my... You guys want to work on my documentary?

Gaffer. Yes. You do? Yes. What position do you guys want to do? I'll be director and writer. Okay. Director, wait, no, I'm directing.

Sure, I'll work on it. But it's a documentary, we do not need a writer. I want to be this stunt man. Stunt man. Stunt man. All right, that's good. Let's see. Okay, if I can't be director, writer, producer.

You can be producer, but I need, like, just some guy. I need a sound guy. Effects. You can do special effects. In post. I'll wait until it's done. That's going to be, who knows when we're going to actually get. Foley? I'll do Foley. I'll do live folly. All right. Shouldn't you do the effects

you're a computer? Here. Well, yeah, I'll just edit it on my body. I'll do live fully. Let's film a scene right now. Move to the dinner. Dinner now. So now you're back to dinner. Oh, that's good. Oh, boy. That's good. And so you guys, dinner is

normal. It's not like you're getting a little hamster feeder like lunch was today. You guys have now, you guys don't still kind of like are, don't really know each other, but like you are now all kind of associated with each other and working on this film together. But where do you want to sit? I want to sit with the V-girls because I need a camera. Okay, cool. What about you guys?

I'm jumping over every table. You're jumping over every table. It's practicing stunts. Okay. Oh, you're practicing studs. We finally found something in this. and where are you going? I'm just standing in the corner doing fully for everyone in the entire room.

Okay, okay, cool. Doing everyone's conversation. All right, cool. So we're going to have, let's resolve the V-girls thing first. So you go to sit down next to them and you see all these like, hello ladies, floating V-girls who are just sort of, of a, they're like aimlessly looking in space. Some of them are like jacked into the matrix right now. Some of them are just our presence. You say hello ladies. What do you

want? Well, I'm... Do you guys like being in this weird prison? Wall run. Are you guys behind, are you saying this? Do you notice my friends here? Working so hard. I'm standing like, it's like hunched over doing sounds. What if I told you? Are you doing, sorry, are you doing wall runs? Yeah. Okay, roll a balance ball.

That is a 10. It's, it's, you do the thing where like when you're a kid, you're like, oh, I bet I could wall run. You do like two. And then you're like, oh, let me try again. That's what I was going to do anyway. I'm a practicing stunt man. And so. Do you see these two?

Front handspring. Blink, blink. I guess so. Do you notice how hard they're working? I wonder what they could be so passionate about. Oh, wait. It's our expose documentary about the conditions of this horrible prison. And all that we need from you, my floating friend, is a camera.

Triple backflip the whole thing on. Hold on. Hold on. Do you know how hard it is for us to get cameras? Do you know how hard it is to get the materials to do the things we have to do in this godforsaken place? No, I don't know much. Why are you making a documentary? I'm brand new. Why am I making a documentary?

Because the world needs to see, well, every world needs to see how horrible this place is. Look, how about tomorrow? That's the noise of a cartwheel. If you really want to get a camera,

you can talk with you can talk with one of the big sisters tomorrow. Okay. They will be in the yard. You can talk with them or... Wait, can you just do my talking

and I'll mouth it? Sure. You can... Wow. And so they tell you that that you can talk with in the... I want to do this. What?

What's wrong with this? Okay. Very impressive. Actually, you know what? Roll performance. Both of you roll. With advantage, though. Yeah, with advantage

because it's a funny idea. 16 for me. I got a 14. Okay. Yeah, they're like, okay, that's pretty good. Yeah, we have. talent. We have all the talent. All we need

is a little investment, chikas. Chaching! Chaching! Horse gallop. Are you the director of the foliarist? That was a stunt he was doing. I'm just saying my stunts out loud. He's just prepared sounds for him, a soundscape. How am I supposed to do it if I don't know what he's doing?

And a horse gallop is a stunt. It's a type of stunt that a guy can... I'm on all fours. You should talk to the... You can talk to the sisters tomorrow. I can't help you with any of this. Headspin? Well, you can't help me by setting up a meeting with the sisters. I will let them know.

Okay, thank you. What is your name? Drink from the water bubler. Name is Sandra Coon. Okay, well, it's very nice to meet you. Okay, nice to meet. What's your name? It says R.W.J.

I don't know much about myself or my life. Looking at the back of your head. It says, I'm checking my memory. I don't know much about myself. I believe that. that I was oblivied. Okay.

It's a good thing to tell somebody. Okay, well, nice to meet you. I will talk to the Big Sisters tomorrow and just, when we have yard time, you can just come to see them, okay? They're usually by the Matrix 2 pods, so. Okay.

Thank you. Hip, hip, hooray. Yeah. So you guys met them. I get up and I click my heels together. Okay, yeah. Roll a, which one of you do I want to do? this.

I'm testing out a fire retardant material I created. You're going to set yourself on fire? Yeah. What did you make it out of? Roll? Made it out of mashed potatoes.

Ash potatoes. Oil. Oil and gelatin packets. Yeah. Roll a, I want you to roll a perception check. So just roll a owl. That's a nine.

Okay. Wait, but that was for that roll. Let me roll to see if I survive. of the fire. And that's even worse. Don't worry about the fire right now. Say yourself on fire. You're just making the thing.

Okay, cool. Yeah, you don't notice anything in particular. Oh, great. The worst sentences in this game. Some assault. Yeah. But, and yeah, I mean, do you guys want to talk to other people here at dinner? Do you want to go to bed?

It's up to you guys. Yeah, I'm going to basically kind of try and hint that I'm really skilled at killing people. Mm-hmm. which I don't, which I maybe actually am, but I don't know that. I'm kind of trying to fake it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm kind of being like, maybe I can go up and like pretend. I'm be like, hey, like, just so you know, I'm, I'm really good at this.

And maybe I could try, like, what do you do? Pretend that I'm going to snap somebody's neck, but then maybe I actually do it. Oh, who's neck. A sudden. What gang? I guess the who's. You go to the who don't know. I'm trying to show to the hoodnets that I'm a good.

So you're going to go up to that one of them and like try to snap their neck kind of? Yeah. Okay, cool. But I'm going to be like, hey, look what I can do. Okay, cool. Roll a, God, roll and attack roll, I guess. He's hinting that he's good at killing people. Okay.

I'm announcing that I'm a stuntman for hire as well. Okay, so you go up to them, you say, look what I can do. It's really a strength contest. I guess really, so actually that's going to be, which is still the same. Yeah, all of our roles are exactly the same. Yeah, okay. All right, yeah. You go to try to grab one of the, like, what are you doing?

I'm showing you. Elbows you off of him. As elbow hits me, I go, whew! Okay. Yeah. When that happens, no!

No! You see behind you one of the Slymenheimer's. If you guys remember, the Slymanheimers are kind of like cyborg people who are completely fucked up on techno slime. And they see you get knocked back

and they point to the who did it and said, hey, are you fucking around? Whoa, they like me. Whoa. And he says, this jackan ape tried to choke me out. And he, he should have hired a stuntman. He probably had it coming.

That's why. And they like start to like kind of square up. He should have hired a stuntman to do that for him. What? Yeah. I'm going to, wait, wait, I'm going to, I want to try and go. Charles Bastard. Hey, hey.

Yeah. Hey, hey. Slimanheimer's. Hey, it's okay. stop stop let's come over here let's talk let's chat what do you want what do you say don't let those guys fuck with you you know what if you say no no no no no listen

me we're just a few have any slime few credits or slimes or whatever these guys are bothering you I can ringing phone you know that was a crazy vibration killing you want to kill for money

yeah yeah yeah it's like really funny way to say yes Yeah. Okay. Come sit with us for a second. And he brings you over to the Slymaheimheimer table. I'm going around to every table and telling them that I'm a stuntman for hire.

Because I'm a computer. I don't, I'm not going to say I have a camera. But do I have audio recording. I can record stuff. Yeah, let's let you do that. Okay. So I would like to clandestinely record this conversation because I think murder. Oh, between me.

Murder for hire plot in prison is juicy stuff for the dock. I like this. I'm going to kind of shuffle over towards them. Okay. Let's have you. And sort of press a big red button in the middle of my chest. It says, now recording. Now recording.

Craig. Craig. Roll stealth for that. Roll balance ball. Can my hit main name be Prancer? Nine. Nine. Okay.

Okay. That's an interesting place to roll that. Yeah. I'm sorry. Well, I'll regret that later. You'll regret that later. That is a 16. Fucking calm.

We'll leave that alone for a second. Wait, can I just, if I just feel like I'm getting caught, can I pretend that I'm recording a song? Yeah, roll, roll. You just start singing to yourself. I want something just alive. Roll, roll deception.

Roll deception. I thought you just play it back to you. Oh, yeah. Perfect. Exactly what I wanted to do. 11. 11. I'll have the, I mean, they're going to roll.

Wow. If they, if they spot you, they probably would have hired me to kill you. What's he doing? You want to know how much you want to get. They go back away. So they're recording. So now you're going to have the conversation, but also you're sick. With some super human.

To just tangle that later. You, you're doing, you're doing stunts everywhere, right? We'll get to your scene as right. So you're doing stunts everywhere. Yeah. everywhere. You see one of these kids from the PG-13 gang

and they're playing around with a knife and you realize that was your knife and one of these kids that used to slit your wrist and he's doing little tricks with it right now. My ballisson knife that I have in prison. That's fucking sick. That's a bit expensive skin. Yeah. Yeah. You see him doing tricks with

a butterfly fade. And they're like, hey, Osto! He's not! Look at this fucking twirp! And they're yelling at you. And then you said... I don't need a knife. All I need is stunts. And then you see it. I'm a badass. I'm now Charles

badass. You see? So low on blood. Still actively bleeding. Charles badass. Everyone thinks it's part of your stun that you're bleeding from your wrists. I was bastards. No.

Stuntman. Stuntman bastards. My name. You see an older man who is amongst the child gang. A monk. A monk. A monk. Shalub.

Who you would know. His name is Shaloob the great. His name is Pan and he is the leader of the, or at least a class D like gang leader of the PG-13s. He is very obviously like 43, but... You're too old to be doing that stunt. Hire me. Hold on, guys.

Let's not be hasty. We like to see how lithe and stretchy you are, like a good boy. Why don't you come over and sit with us? We could use you in our gang. Do you guys do stunts? Oh, we do lots of stunts. I'm a fucking lone wolf, though.

I'm a stuntman bastard. We have lone wolf missions. Yeah, stuntman bastard. We have missions for lone wolves. We have missions and jobs and things we can have you do. Okay. I'm just going to say this. I'm just going to say this to everybody in here.

Who in this room does the most stunts? If it's really these kids, I guess I'll join them. But if it's not, I'll join whoever does the most stunts. It's probably the kids. Fuck. Oh, I want something just like this. We've got lots of stuff to talk about. Does anyone else have lots to talk about with stunts?

And to you with the Slymenheimer's. And so you see over there there's one guy, too, who's sitting in who's the leader of the Slymanheimers, at least the Class D Slymanheimer's named Overload. He's a massive, massive man. He has sort of like an Immorten Joe kind of hair, but it's all wires coming out of his head. And he's wearing what looks like a giant black cloak that's covering his body. And he's kind of like the super fat. I bet it's fucking robotic under there.

I say that out loud. Yeah, yeah. He says, he says, more than you know. Pleasure to, what was your name again? Overload. Wow. pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Prancer.

Nice. No, this is dancer and vixen and comet and Cupid. Why would they be in this gang? I'm fucking with you. Okay. Come. Please sit. We have plenty of slop to go around.

I'm giving you dinner. I have to have my mouth open to record. Yeah, okay. You say you want to kill for money. Yes, for credits. Money. is gone long gone. I guess you're a bit of an old-fashioned.

I'm trying to give him a better voice. How about this? Is this too crazy? I don't know. Oh, yeah, me, yeah, me, get me, go, well. Oh, yeah, me, yeah. Credits will be fine. Credits will be fine.

Credits will do. What is the line? We have tasks for you. Star Wars, dude. I don't know. When he goes, like, credits work fine. Yeah. Yeah.

If it's, if you truly wish to do things for our gang. Yes Yes Well, we can talk But Hey buddy, we're talking How about a little of this? Well, first we need to know

If we can trust you Say what you're talking You're not just a plant From the whodunits A plant Look at me Am I green? You are

A little joke That's pretty good joke I'm not green I'm a who Oh yeah, you're right I hate the green I'm getting a weird flickering memory of Sullivan the Frog. I hate green things.

Green things are awful. No, I'm happy to prove my trustworthiness to you. And anybody else who doubts me, it's ridiculous that you doubt me. I should just say that. We're going to have some things for you to do first to prove your worth. And if you survive and do well enough, we'll give you some real jobs with some real credits. Cool, because then I can afford enough. I'll have enough money I can buy a Christmas tree.

Okay. So you're with the young boys and Pan. Surprise. And Pan. Yeah, you're just standing or how with your arms crossed like Look.

I mean, this is also juicy. He's weird looking like Pan. It's like, now now, Shut up. Children come in all different shapes and sizes, guys. Look, we have... I want to take out Pan and become the leader.

You can try to do that. Right now you will die because you're weak. But I like that as a plan. A lot to backstead. You could be the new leader. Be the new Fagan. We've got lots of things

that we're working on right now. Can I just come up behind him and stab him in the neck right now? It won't kill. You can't kill. You can't kill. All right. Killing is impossibility.

Yeah. You have to dispose or like make or set them free. These are children? There are children. You could get a law degree in prison and exonerated. Can I roll a sleight of hand and make it look, take some of the pudding from the mess hall and make it look like you pooped? I love that.

Because kids, if they get their leader. It's pretty smart all the kids. The rolls are bad. Inside the pudding and you just hold it there for a little bit. And everyone sees you putting your hand in the kid's ass. I'm putting my hand in the pudding. just sitting there, just looking at everyone, I'm like, this'll do the trick.

Just standing there, just He sees you walking towards him with putting it in there, and he's like, dude, get away. You're walking with it out in front of you. This will do to trick. This is going to work. Maybe we could talk later. So, here's the, I'll give you, like, kind of like,

so we're going to, this is a bit of a longer version of these things, but these things are going to happen more quickly these kinds of like dinner interactions and other interactions with them to help us move through the days. But what it looks like is like a failure like that is like you can't really do tasks for them yet. You're going to have to do Neme tasks. That lowers your

suspicion, raises a base stat but doesn't give you the potential benefits of getting closer with the gang. You succeeded so you're going to be able to right away do, it'll be a menial one, but you can do tasks for at least the Slymenheimer's who done it's right, you're on their radar now. You haven't made the relationships with the V-Tubers yet, but now you can meet with them in the yard. So like

like we're going to move on to the next day like already. I'm going to be with them. Like that's like how quickly this is going to go. Next day. Actually quickly. What is time? We're at 57 minutes. Okay, perfect.

All right. We're not, I'm not pressed on time. Okay, cool. Next day. Cool. System, wake up,

lights show up, neural roll call. You guys give your things. Do you interact with Ugg or Phil today or no? Like, this is like the kind of thing I'm trying to. And go. Oliver's gone.

Belver's gone. He's just with the boy. Ug. You're with the boy? No, I don't. I'm over, ugh. Yeah, done with Ug. He's not part of your documentary crew.

Maybe he's a gaffer. Yeah, we'll have him do some, well, he can put a flag up or whatever. Okay, cool. He's just in a documentary crew. I'll have him light the interview, the talking heads. Yeah, I like that. Perfect.

And you, you're trying to get rid of Phil somehow still, right? Dude, hire me. True. Yeah, you know what? I'm going to go to his cell. Okay, cool. Boy, do I have a task for you. Do you still have pudding on your hand?

My hand is still in the jar of pudding. It's just a jar. It's a glob of pudding. Oh, yeah, no, it's just a loose glob of pudding. Yeah, we slept with it. Yeah. I slept with it out. So, yeah, you guys...

I see it and I can't help but fully it. You guys go to... So you guys go to breakfast. I'm seeing you foiling it. I'm just going... You guys... I'm shaking it in my hand. Just...

So you guys go to breakfast. You're just standing in my himself doing that. I'm shaking the pudding in my hand. The guard walks by. Okay. You can you go to breakfast.

You can sit with the slime and hymers. You can't sit with the kids. And I bet they got some upgraded ass food. The pudding fuck up. You can't sit with the V2Bers yet if you're trying to make inroads with them. You two can either continue to try to make inroads with the people who you're making inroads with.

I know you have a meeting kind of. with the V girls later, you can like abandon the kids thing and go for one of the different other games. Yeah, I'm looking for the next most stuntworthy. Stuntworthy gang, let me think. Probably the bouncing bubbles, bro. They're the most stuntworthy.

And it's the gang I've wanted to be a part of the whole time. Okay, the bouncing bubbles. So you go up to them, what do you do? I show them my bubble stunt. What's your bubble stunt? My bubble stunt, bro. What's your bubble?

Ultimate bounce. Oh, adding all them together and bouncing. Mm-hmm. Oh, so you try to direct them. Mm-hmm. I think you probably have to describe it to them. Okay. So they're bubbles.

Okay, roll persuasion on this. That is a 17. Nice. Okay, you say all that. And at first, it's like they don't move, right? And then you see one of them... The turn, it has a face. Why, yes.

That's a great idea. Slowly go towards... another one and like kind of slowly roll up on top of it. And you see another one. And it kind of takes a roundabout route for some reason, but then it also like sticks to one and starts to slowly roll up on top of it. And they do this for a little bit. This takes like,

this takes like two minutes. And then they kind of roll towards you. And they want to see what you're going to do. I'm doing the ultimate bounce. You're getting on top of all of them? Yeah. I'm going to, I'm climbing up the bubbles.

Okay. Do you announce to the whole cafeteria? If you do this, the guards are going to notice this. So what do you want to do? It's not illegal to do. First thing I say is, now, I'm about to do the ultimate bounce. And first of all, it's not illegal. Are you filming this?

I need to get a camera. I really want to film this. Someone better be filming this. Jackass from inside a prison. Please, v. girls. Camera me, please. Someone better film this. This is huge.

All right. So you're going to go right to the big sisters. You're running. You're running. Before you bubble bounce. Yeah. So we'll do this like, you told him like, I'm going to do the O-Tum and bounce.

And you're like, I got to get a camera. And this is all like right before, right? So the girl group is, are the big sisters. So they are the Swift Wind Big Sister, demon shadow big sister,

the Peach Maiden, the Crimson Flame Big Sister, an elegant Lotus Big Sister. They also have Japanese names. But they, that's their translated names. They are all beautiful, perfect-looking V-2

who are floating at, like, all the V-tubers have, like, a table, and then they have one that's floating, and they're sitting at that one. So they're the ones who have all the camera equipment. You see in front of them right now, they have, like, film equipment. They're, like, streaming

live right now. They can, like, they turn it on and off just to talk to each other. It's, like, a whole, like, super intricate setup. But you go up to them. Guys, I'm supposed to be talking to you in the yard later. I believe. Yes. Why are you talking to us now?

That's a great question. But do you see those three bubbles stacked over there? And do you see that little guy at the very top? How big are the bubbles? So there's a very big bubble who's the leader of the gang. Okay. He's the biggest bubble. Okay.

So what size? There's a slightly bigger bubble. And that's his deputy. And then there's regular bubbles. Feet or kilometers maybe? Very big bubble is like 10 by 10. Okay. He's very big.

meters? Meeters? No. Feet. Okay. And then there's a big bubble. It's still a very big bubble. Yeah, that is a big bubble.

There's the deputy bubble. He's not involved in the No, he's observing. You're watching, yeah, you're seeing like a... So I'm sitting on a couple six foot bubbles. But the deputy bubble who wanted in on this because he thought it was a good idea. And he's like seven by seven.

Okay. He's sitting at the base. Okay. And we have a couple of regular five by five bubbles stacked up on there. Okay. Regular five. Mm-hmm.

So, do you see it? Yes or no. This is very urgent. I'm sorry to interrupt. Peach Maiden and she's like, oh, could we please do this? Can we please film this one? You've kind of convinced her. And she's looking around at the other girls trying to get them to because she thinks it's a good idea.

Roll persuasion with advantage. You can give me your worst camera. It doesn't matter. I just need to film this. It's going to be so big for the opening of the movie. With advantage, you said? Yes. 10.

No, sorry, nine. Okay, let's see. Oh, I really want to get my camera. Okay. Nice. Okay, so what camera do they give me? They give you like just a Canon DSLR. They give you.

I was going to say they give you one of those kid cameras. Yeah, kid cameras. I mean, I think it's worse to have a like a digital camera that's like $200 than it would be to have something interesting. So yeah. Okay, I'm going to. Thank you so much. I will pay you back for this.

Let me know what you need. Okay. Show us the results afterwards. Oh, wow. We like it. We like it. Maybe we'll consider letting you be one of our V girls. Oh my God.

That'd be a dream. Okay. Cool. But I want you to know it's going to take months for me to put this film together. Just this clip. Oh, okay. Okay. I walk over to you.

This clip better be good. Okay. I'm standing by to Foley. I've got my hands come around my mouth. All of this. Yeah. Okay. I'm standing behind the camera.

Can we have a broom like a boom mic? Yes. Okay. All right. It's only backwards. Okay. We're, We're ready.

Okay. Roll. Okay. Can I roll with advantage? Yeah, because it's a good idea. Because it's a good idea. Maybe it's not, but it's a great idea. Fuck.

Okay. You roll now for your camera performance. My camera performance. Can I roll for my fully? Directing. Your folly is perfect. You don't even have to roll. Okay.

Okay. 11? Okay. You climb up top of the bouncing bubbles. You say this is not illegal. Mm-hmm. And then... Not illegal.

And then you start to jump and you like... Boing. Boing. Hit your head on the ceiling. Bunk! And the whole crowd just dies laughing. Slide down the bubbles. And I followed him.

Wait, I did the bounce though? You did the bounce though. It just was went... It didn't do amazingly, but you did do the bounce. The bounce happened. But it proves that... So this proves that there could... If I wasn't restricted by the ceiling of this room,

that that would have been an ultimate bounce. When you were up on... on top of the bubbles in the ceiling was like three feet away. And if you want to see more stunts like this, you're going to have to let me do the ultimate bounce in the yard. With the 11, you managed to like turn this into like, like you do like a little like punch-in zoo, like a office comedy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You turn it. You sort of like take it from what could have been a really like beautiful cinematic moment. You go like, oh, I'll just make this like me. And then maybe the guards beat him up as soon as he lands. The bubbles beat him up. like guards come out and start out of them.

And so now I get the jackass thing. It's not going to find out of the way. Ow, ow, ow. What the hell? So if you lose all your health before the day's over, you don't get whatever stat bonus you would get that day.

Oh no. So that's why you got to stay healthy. But, um, cool. The guards are beating the shit out of me. I could have done it. I could have done it if they weren't at the ceiling. So I'm probably for my purposes, I'm not going to use the actual bubble bounce part,

but I will use this to show the abuse in the prison. I love it. I'm getting what I need here. But I'm going to show the V-Tubers. I'm going to enhance the kind of like abuse and like evilness of the prison aspect of your documentary. I'm on the camera with you, and I'm doing Foley of the guards like going like.

Yeah. Yeah. This is great. We like doing this. We love this. Every day. Cool. And so now you're up to your signed labor tasks.

So let's go around here. you, blowtoss. The first thing you're going to do. Oh, wait, I'm going to wrong part of this document. Sorry. Documentary. I never realized the connection between those two. Do you think that Google Docs has anything involved with a documentary?

Yes. Google Documentary should be an app that they create. Google Documentary? Let's see. This is Slymineheimer tags. It's an app that you can create any documentary. We have three tasks you can choose from. The biomass processor task.

So you can convert organic waste into fuel paste. That helps to charge up there and their... By eating it and pooping it out? No, it's what? No. It's the charge up there. They're like cybernetic implants. You can do printing, which is you use the illegal 3D printers to print weapons and stuff.

And operate that. And you can do an augment fixer, which is just you're actually repairing their augments. The weapon printer sounds the coolest. Okay, cool. So we'll have you do that. If you do that, and there'll be different things.

I'm figuring out. And I'd like to make a weapon, an extra weapon for myself and lock it. So this is the kind of thing I was going to say, is you can do stuff like this during the task where if you're like, I actually want to do something for this that I'm going to give to this gang

to like curry favor with them. Like you can use these tasks. If you do something, that's a little extra for yourself, you have to roll suspicion like twice. Can I do that and create ultimate bouncing shoes? And then to do the extra thing, exactly. And if you fail in the suspicion to do the extra thing,

you just don't do it. Like, I'm not going to like be like, and they found out and you're fucked. Like that's just going to be too punishing. Can I use the 3D printer? Thank you for raising your hand, by the way. Can I use the 3D printer to make flubber shoes? You do not have, well, if you get in with the Slymenheimer's,

you can use a 3D printer. Right now you curried favor with the bubble bouncers. Yeah. Can I ask him to make me flubber shoes? So the bubble bouncers liked that he did that? Yeah, they liked his idea. His idea was super good. He got a 17 on it.

He didn't nail it, but they were like, this kid's got moxie. Cool. It was that kind of vibe. So now I'm in with the bubble bouncers. You're in with the bubble bouncers. He was standing around with them. It's just looking cool.

So it's interesting because it's like, again, like you try to get in. It's like being like a one white guy who's led into the black guy gang. It's like, oh my God, how did he get in with the bubble bouncers? I'll say that like, um, um, um, um, um, um, you guys, now that you're in your gangs, you still have to roll suspicion to do tasks

with them. So if you want to do a neem task instead, just to lower suspicion first, you can do that. And now for you, you're not in with any gang yet. But once you give the video to the v-tubers in the yard, if it's good enough, you might be able to get in with them. But you can do neem tasks still. And neem

tasks, you can also, again, do stuff on the side that Curry's favor with other groups, whether it's the warden, whether it's the other gang members, etc. I'm going for the 3D printer. I'm trying it. Okay, cool. So, for that, you still have to roll against suspicion here. Yeah, I have to roll or you roll. Oh, I'm an idiot. I roll.

Thank you. You're not an idiot. Dude. We'll talk like that. You talk like shit about yourself. You're treating yourself like a little piece of shit. If you do it first, your parents can't say anything, so. Dude, you're a beast. Let me try this. Yeah, hideous beast.

What? Dude. A hideous beast? Fuck. Fuck, fuck, you. Fuck. If I get Under a 12 I find out under a 12 under 12 if I can 12 or over you yeah yeah yeah Saylop Pete got all right you found out found out okay so you can't do that task today but but you can do a name task instead I'll do a name task okay cool so I'll get

assigned you one in a second you're gonna try to do a bubble bouncer task um yeah okay I guess I bounce well first um we need you to bounce for us under okay you can't do that. You can't do a bubble bounce or task. You, the guards go now. Again, you're going to slowly be able to do this. That's why we're going to We're going to do a neem task now, but these days are going to start moving. So yeah, you're going to do a name task. I'll tell you which one. I'll tell you guys what the neem tasks are.

Can I incorporate bouncing into it? I mean, you certainly, yeah, you can try. Just do, can it like two birds, one stone? Can I like raise my rep with the gang? No. By incorporating bouncing into my name test. You can raise your rep with the gang, but like directly, but you can, again,

there'll be stuff you can do in the task. When I tell you the task, You can... I just want to incorporate bouncing into everything because I've basically converted like a nation of Islam in prison. Yeah, the Neme tasks are... Oh, this is the wrong name. The Nation of Bubble.

No, sorry. What is this? What did I... I was looking at the... The inflation of bubble. The inflation of Islam. Yeah. That's the name.

The name tasks are... That's the... That's the Bubbles group. Dron. So you can assembly surveillance drones. Yeah. Obviously, again, there's things where it's like, can you pocket that? I'm going to pocket a couple pieces of circuitry to give to the slime and hybrers to upgrade their penises.

Okay. So if you fail, oh, stupid, man. So if you fail, if you fail the suspicion task here, then you're just like done for the day. Yeah, but I already, my suspicion lowers from this, correct? Already? Yes. Automatically. Yes.

It'll go down by one. Yeah. So we'll go down by one before the roll. Yeah, we can do it before the roll. I think it's fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Trowl.

Next is there's trash exterminator where you just, this is something we're talking about you can collect waste. There's a chip sorting technician. So you just sort through a lot of different chips, microchips that are attached to the nanobots. Okay. There's data labeling, which is reviewing a bunch of disturbing images. for AI. And then there's the EM Pulse

tester and the Matrix 2 repair. EM Pulse testers, you just basically get blasted with EMP bombs and then they test that. This would be dangerous for you to do in particular. And then the Matrix 2 repairs, you just help to repair the Matrix 2 units.

That one, you can potentially curry favor with the sisters, the sisterhood of V-Girls by doing that one, just letting you know. So you want to do what? Microchip? Yeah, chip sorting. Okay, cool.

So roll a D6 right now. And this is going to be, and here is a D6 normal one. Regular regular dice. Okay, six. Okay, so this is going to add plus one to your charisma. Okay. In that case. So that's pretty good for you.

No, no, no, not there. The nine, turn that nine into a 10 and turn that minus one into a zero. And then I'm going to lower your suspicion here. You did a nice. Neme task. And I eat the chips. And your suspicion is now 11. And I eat all the chips.

You eat all the chips. You do? I'm doing the drone. You're doing the drone, right? Okay. So do I roll a thing? If you want to, yeah,

if you want a pocket drone shit for yourself to... Well, do I get a stat before I do that? Um, oh, so yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, no, is that how it works or no? No, no, I think,

I think just lowering your, your chance and you don't get the stat yet because the stats's a real reward here. Yeah, sure. Yeah, let me think. We'll give you an initial lower of suspension. of suspension suspicion

I'm going to try it anyway I'm going to try you roll my suspicion I'm going to try to pocket some parts two I got caught you got caught so no bonuses today

you did lower your suspicion though you I'm going to do the matrix to repair and then I think tomorrow I'll end up working for the V-tubers hopefully this gives me a little bit more extra

so we'll give you so roll D6 so regular dice How do that sound? Sounded quite loud. Five. So it's going to raise your wisdom, which was pretty high by the end of the adventure for Ray William Johnson.

So your wisdom is now a 10. And your abilities where there is zero. Wisdom is 10. Beautiful. You did Neme plus one. Your suspicion is 11. You're 11, you're 11. Beautiful.

You're an 11, bro. That's so sweet. Okay, cool. So let's go right to the yard then in this case. Because that's where kind of your main thing is. Okay. So days will also be like this where we'll do the task and then I'll just like, well, it's like, let's just go to the event here. Unless you guys like have something you want to do at dinner or want to do.

I feel like we've been dragging ass. Yeah. Yeah. No, this is just getting us used to the days thing. It's also me learning what takes time. So you're at the yard now. you have the video of it. You're going to show it to.

You could see the girls. They're all hanging out in the Matrix 2 area. Next time we can do a sport in the R2. I pull out the camera. Yep. Or the little viewfinder on the camera. And I open up the video, but I start kind of showing them that I have it

when I'm about 200 feet away. So then I keep walking towards them. So with the thing open. I like that. That's crazy. Roll, yeah, roll persuasion. And I'll keep in mind that you. You got, what did you get, 11, right, on the actual role, right?

14, or 13. They like the presentation. You see, yeah, the... They can watch it back if they want. Yeah, they watch it back. Let me get my... I have to get my notes up with these girlies. Yeah, okay, cool.

Yeah, the Peach Maiden loves it. She's, like, so excited. Pretty funny, right? It's hilarious. So basically, my plan is to make an entire movie of stuff like this. Funny prank. The demon shadow big

sister is like, I don't know, they seem kind of like jackasses. No, they're not. Okay. And then they're like, we like it. Who's the leader? Yeah, Swiftwin. Swiftwin says, we like what you've done. Would you

like to be a director for our V-tube escapades when we get away with doing them? Okay. and your name is R.W. Oh, Ray William Johnson. Okay. All right.

And so you're in with them. I love that. And so now... Wow. And you're becoming a YouTuber finally. Wow. Wow. What's happening for him?

Oh, yeah. What's happening for him? And we'll go to... Tomorrow we'll go to the... Tomorrow, sorry. Next time we'll go to the next day and we're going to start moving this more quickly. But now we're establishing this.

I hope this is making sense for you guys. Yes. All right. Let's take... It's about life in prison. We're in the loop. I'm gonna get a coffee. Yeah, take a prison.

Somebody the other day at work was, we were like moving a cable or something. And their hand brushed against, yeah, has two guys. Moving one cable or something. I don't remember that. Wait, you're moving a cable. It was something like that. It was not, it was a one-person job, but somebody jumped in, and they brushed their hand against my keys.

And they went, oh, dude, sorry. I just totally just, totally just, Touch your dick. And I didn't have the heart to tell them that they didn't get anywhere near my dick. Yeah. Just touch my fucking keys. You should go to HR about it. A USB charging cable and someone else is like, wait, hold on.

Hold on. Let me help you with that. Let me help you real quick. Let me. Oh, dude, I think I touched your dick. Oh, no. I can't help you anymore. I can't help you anymore.

Sorry, man. Dude, I'm so sorry. Sorry, my bad.