Podcast About List - PAL Kids TV Presents: The Teenage Gumshoe Crew And Their Dog: Smoked Out By the Wacky Tobaccy! ft. Home Planet

Episode Date: October 31, 2022

Hiya, kids! Welcome to PAL Kids TV, your number one source for awesome cartoon adventures and mysteries. Today in our programming we have a Halloween special from The Teenage Gumshoe Crew and Their Dog. I wonder what kind of trouble they'll be getting into this time...   If you want to find out how the Gumshoe Crew's adventure ends, subscribe to the D&D tier on our patreon: https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

What we don't have a funny voice right? Gunny Sack and you're watching Pal Kids TV. You shouldn't play that while you're going to add that in. He's going to add it after that. That's not funny. I thought it would sound funny to have both Who's a gunny sack? That was good. That was fire. But you have to start

it over now. Okay, sorry, I'll go over. I just want to show you guys that. Yeah, I wrote a Saturday morning cartoons. Sounds good. Oh, you wrote that? That was awesome. I wanted it to sound like... That sounded urban. That should be the new podcast thing. I didn't like it. It was too urban.

What's happening, guys? I'm Gunny Sack, and you're watching Pal Kids TV, a Saturday morning cartoon block only on logo. So it's Scaretober. Ooh, you know what that means, we got something spooky for you. That's right, a classic episode of the teenage gumshoe crew and their dog. In this episode, the gang investigates a haunted castle where some creep is terrifying the town. Yikes!

I know I wouldn't want to be there. I love being safe inside your TV. Well, anyway, hold on to your diaper. because this episode is scary and then we push into the TV we're inside the television now the teens of weirdo Pennsylvania love to head down to Sully's joint when the gumshoe crew needs a break from solving mysteries it's just about the only dog-friendly establishment in town that includes pizza an arcade and a roller rink that plays awesome disco music does it get any better than that the proprietor

quieter of this joint is none other than Sullivan the Frog, proud manager and frog person, the only one still alive after the event. Him and his chef, Fez, from that 70s show, love serving pizzas to the kids and playing the grueviest tunes. There's even a couple competitions going on today. The roller dance finals in the rink and the pinball warlock tournament happening in the arcade over there. Lots of things for the gumshoe crew to do if they want.

Hopefully no mysteries are afoot. It sure be nice for there to be no mysteries afoot right now on October 31st, the anniversary of Halloween. So you guys are in right now. You're chilling. You've probably just solved a whole bunch of crimes. You're the gumshoe crew. Put your piece on the board wherever. We have a board now.

Which one is my piece? No one assigned me a piece. Yeah, I never got a piece either, so it's already a disaster. This is my piece, everybody. serious okay well now there's other people than the pieces so my character's black he has one

I don't yeah it's up to you why you sound so mad about it oh my character's black oh okay look I don't want to do that voice it'll sound offensive you don't have to do any voice nobody would have even ever known that you had a black figurine

until you just decided to get mad about well I'm mad about it but now I am because you're all making me sound racist this is all right so should I put that you said wherever Wherever you want. And this is where the warlock pinball tournament is happening.

And this is where the pizza is. That's, uh, that. So this is, this is kind of where you would order a pizza. So I'm back here, though. You're back by where's the behind the counter. I'm behind the counter. Okay, cool. Yeah, because you're the dog.

Great. Well, we'll get to that. That's where, that's us. You guys run the roller rink? Roller rink. Nice. The girls. I'll be in one of these beds over here.

Are we, sorry. That's, the pinball is over there. That's just the regular. Well, I'm laying down the pinball machine. I'm taking a yes. Yes. then I'm I'm just over here

Here by the arcade machines Patrick's thinking where would a black guy be Okay So now that we know where you all are in Sully's joy Even where black guys are Let's go around

Who are your characters What's going on? Let's start with you Jed I'm Jed I'm Jed My name's Jedd, and I'm kind of the leader of the crew. My name of Jed, and I'm kind of the leader of the whole crew.

I have blonde hair and blue eyes, which some of the party seem to be jealous of. I'm known for how good I am at fingering, and women can tell just by my pheromones that I put out. Well, I'm insinuating and inferring. That's fair. I and and basically I'm just going to pass it on to the next one so Jed is really good at traps finding as well and traps and finding and finding as well yeah also but yeah no it's that's great

you're right now you're laying on top of the pinball machine yeah all right yeah I smoked too many cigarettes I got sick I accidentally smoked the red ones you did yeah I smoked two okay you're falling over on over okay yeah the tournament is what year is this again Sorry, this is 1975. Was pinball even in Vintas in 1975? Pinball wizard.

Okay. And what about... Warlock in this case. What about ice skating? Roller rinks, we're in this around the 70s, yeah. All right. And ice skating. Okay, well...

Ice skating's been around for a really long time. All right, just get out of me, my face. I'm going to get out of you. And who's this fetching young teenage girl? Patches, she just walked by the window. You don't have to tell me to her. She's not part of this recording. No.

No, no. It was just to say, it's enough. Please talk. I'm a girl. I'm a pretty girl. Busy week for Alex. I had no time to write that intro. I'm Denise.

I'm a girl. I have. I'm pretty I got a good I'm good at I got good heart I love my friends Oh my God

And I'm I'm here That's great So That's the three things Of God Good heart Loves her friends

She's here So Denise is The You're cute Don't do this I was trying to make a joke and they became of trouble. Denise has a lot of abilities

around crying and calling the police on people and using pepper spray. And she's also governed by her. She got very high charisma stat. Oh, yeah. Using throughout this potentially mystery. Who knows if there'll be a mystery though?

Right, who knows? Shut up. Right, okay. I love having sex. And then we're going to go to Vera. That's my fault too. I can't really pretend. I'm immune to that.

um you're up Vera Hi everyone my name is Vera oh look at somebody did their homework and I am a lesbian I love the lesbian voice you're doing Joe it's close enough

and a haircut everything wow it feels so good to finally come out and say that but when I'm not giving brain to ladies I'm using my brain to imprison crazies when I'm not When I'm not licking the stinky, I'm solving a mystery saying jinkies.

And when I'm not looking for my glasses and clues, I'm probably eating stinky muff and going absolutely dome crazy on other lesbians in the back of our crime-solving mystery machine fuck palace of a van. You're doing that in the van? Do we know? After dark, you know. I may be a smart whiz kid, but believe me, when I see. say, I have a crazy-ass side.

You heard that right. I will eat your muff and your crazy-ass side. So, Vera's really good at investigating in addition to her muff-loving. Oh, yeah, Denise, by the way, I apologize, Vera. Denise, where are you on the board right now? What are you doing? I'm in the roller ring. You're skating around.

You see, it's the roller rink competitions. Have these two ever fucked each other? Is he, is he, I'm not kidding. Is that the implication? Let's just say I'm on the case. Oh,

I know. I'm a virgin. I'm so excited for this. Yeah, I think we're going to stay back at the same. You're funny. So Vera is really good at investigating. She has a lot of abilities around that. She also has her magnifying glass to look for clues and to use,

to do a lot of fire damage, actually, believe it or not, which is pretty nuts. That's fire. It is fire. And now we have, let's pound that out. Okay. And then let's have, we have, who's this layabout? Loit, zoics, it's me, shabby. I'm the only 35-year-old in the crew.

Do you have the levels? They only hang out with me because I have a car, and Vietnam made me crazy. I have to smoke cigarettes just to stop the voices. in my head. I think the dog can talk. Oh, boy. That's awesome. And I'm addicted to food completely.

Like, completely addicted to food. So we have Shabby Todgers here. And he is 35, which I didn't know, but I'm open to it. He's a Vietnam vet. Right. And he's a Vietnam vet. Does he have all of his limbs? Let's hope

We don't know That's another mystery Does you wear long sleeves LIMS are in a quantum state Of being there and not being there, I guess Which isn't an ability you have You have the ability And I'm losing my hair

That's not You don't have to even Yeah, you don't have to say that That's just like a world building I'm losing my hair from stress man Your abilities are Shabby's abilities are Because of what I saw

Prat falling and running through people and losing his hair. And he also, he's an animal lover, and so he can talk with animals and has ability around that. So he'll get a little bonus for that. Shabby, what do you do? You're at the arcade right now?

I'm freaking out. You're freaking out. He's like looking at Gallagher and having PTSD. Jesus Christ! Johnson! No! No! It's going to sound awesome. going to love that.

I remembered my friend. John Johnson, you remember either your dick or your friend. Did you fight in the Gallagos? Gallagher Wars? Yeah. I'm the veteran of the Gallagher. I saw Gallagher. In Vietnam?

You were in Vietnam playing a lot of arcade games. Yeah, it was not good boys. Yeah, right. You're on a sex. He's in San Diego. Sex tourism. Yeah. And then, of course, we have, last but not least,

everyone's favorite. I'm Scooby-Doo. I'm the eponymous rector and protagonist of the animated Relevision franchise of the same name, created in 1969 by the American Renarabarera. I am a male Great Reign and a lifelong companion of amateur detective Shabby Rock Todger, with whom he shares many personality traits. I feature a mix of both canine and human behaviors, reminiscent of other rocking animals in Ranavarera series, and is treated by my wrens more or less as an equal.

I often speak in eroticized rate, substituting the first letters of many words, but the letter R. My catchphrase is Scooby-Duby-Doo. So I don't know about all that, but Scooby's really good at finding, investigating and smelling stuff. He has a smell bank.

You can store smells in and use it to track things. Where are you at right now, Scooby-Doo? I'm behind the pizza counter And whoever's making the pizza I'm licking their leg Like their upper thigh Like scoob

You gotta get in here Okay I'm not doing what I was doing anymore I need my pills Is this like Oh is he like your like companion service dog Oh that makes a lot more son So yeah

You guys are And yeah you want before You know you know Sullivan is a good friend of yours You know he's an older man frog who runs this joint you could see it's not as populated as it usually is and he had told you that

recently well with all the haunting going on up at holy crap a talking frog Shabby we've known each other for a little while now let's unmask him oh no please don't

it sounds like a great idea man get that mask off that bastard right now roll and attack roll one of you okay just add your strength to that what was that three okay yeah you uh Yeah, Sullivan's able to sort of dodge out of the way. Oh, stop, please. He's like trying to duck around.

Duck around you trying to grab him. Please, I know, I know how bad the Gallagher Wars are, but please, just. You don't know how bad they were, man. Oh, no, I set him off now. I was in Vietnam, San Diego. I just, since the castle, the castle cigarette has been so haunted lately by the wacky tobacco, I feel like I don't have any customers. What?

I'd be given a... What the hell are you on about, Frog? That made complete sense to me. I'm trying to... I would give a reward to anyone who could solve that mystery. Why are you acting like such a coy slut? Either hire us to do the job or fucking leave me alone. I'm trying to sleep on this pinball machine.

You would do the job, really? Oh, twirling your fucking frog tongues. And, oh, what if somebody fixes all this for me? We can't hear you if you twirl your tongue with your finger. It wasn't twirling my tongue. It's a good idea. I wish I did that, but I didn't. Let's go shopping.

Denise, you are such a hot bitch. Thank you. Either me or Vera is going to fuck you today. Or me. Or the dog. I have a wife. I love having sex. Is there a window in this?

Yeah. Yeah, there's tons of windows. I take up my magnifying glass and use it on. The frog. Oh, you're going to Jack? Brian. Yeah, sure.

We're catching on quickly. Yeah, just roll a D20. I think we've killed Sullivan and half of the campaigns we've done. Usually instant. That definitely hits him. Roll two D-6s.

Roll another one. Okay, yeah. So where are you right now? Just so I know where you are. So what you're doing? It was super far away from across the end. You are literally just in range.

Yeah. So the line is just going across. People are just dancing the music. Like, roll the music, but just a line of fire just fucking goes across the establishment and Sullivan who just got out of the way of Shabby tried to grab in his face.

Derek can't even hear what he's saying. I just didn't like the look at it. You saved us. Thank you. Solvin is up. He's on fire. He's not dead, but he is almost dead. Like, let's put him out in the deep friar.

If you guys want to do that, you could take him to the kitchen back here. I'm already, like, violently licking the burn spot on him. So you guys take Sullivan, and you put him, I mean, he can't resist at this point. You put him in the deep fry. There's your reward. It was a reward. Yeah, me and Shabby are standing, and we're like, we're like, we're like, just dead.

Quiddling our thumbs over the deep friar. Dead person. Can we at least eat his body? Yep. He's... What do you think I was doing? We... Me and Shabby have big sandwiches.

He's dead. That we each made him half of him, and we eat him at the same time in one bite. You can see him one half of his faces in each of the sandwiches. So yeah, you guys can kittle and eat Sullivan the product. Yeah. Okay. So now your move?

Well, my move is roll... You roll a perception check. Okay. Jed. Use the dice tower. Use the dice tower. Maybe I will. Use it.

Nice. That sounded so good. That's going to be an eight for me. Okay. You don't get the sense of where it's coming from, but you hear a hissing sound. Uh-oh. You guys can't hear anything. I think it's Vera's downstairs as, like, releasing air or something.

So I just kind of chalk it up to that. But I do try to smell it. I would like to note the floor is wet underneath me. Okay. Can I Flores in the roller winks We can go to the roller rink over here So are you guys participating in the

competition or are you just I'm kind of tracking I'm looking at all the cute boys There is not me I'm too old I can't do it again So the main boy here Who is Jemais

He's a French foreign exchange student Who is a very much Very close to winning the How old is he? He is 13 years old. Oh, wow. I'd like to take out my trusty magnifying. Of course.

Anything else you're going to... Anybody, anything that's happening here is 18, unless it's not. Except for Jamee? Jamee is 18. Oh. I'd like to take out my magnifying glass and hit Jemay, too. Okay. Wait, wait, hit the disco ball with the light and kill my free show.

Oh, that's pretty funny. I'm trying to think of the... Oh, my God. That's terrible. that's a hysterical implication I do I want that to happen let's do that roll a also a slight of hand check

to see if you can position your magnifying glass and hit it in such a way that it will just spray fire down on the establishment that's D20 and then it will say that sidebar that is a sleight of hand the number next to that you add zero yeah so you add zero whatever you get you get

15 oh wow okay you're able to angle the magnifying glass in such a way that it shoots out a ray of fire. Holy shit. Hold on. So I'm thinking... You're so good at D and D.R. You are better than any of us.

Yeah, this is going to just go out here and we'll have one. You're going to have to roll at the... Me? Yeah. Can I use this guy as a human shield? You don't really have time for that. Well, he's in the way.

It's the speed of way. Look, he breaks the line you drew. Yeah. But it's a ray. It's a red. The idea is. it goes through all of the... I'm letting you use a disco ball.

Okay, fine. So you have to roll an attack roll. So just roll a D20, and we'll see how well you hit everything. 15. Okay, yeah, I mean, that beats your AC for sure. Roll 2D. I have a 15 AC, so it's right there.

Oh, yeah, but if it matches the AC, the he wins. So you roll 2D6 to see the damage you do. I guess you're just going to melt this guy because that is just kind of a person. That's eight. We call that in our business. You take eight damage, Jed.

You're just lying on the pinball machine. The pinball tournament just gets interrupted by a ray of fire that's going through. Like, Ron, it's the Gubchoo crew. They're fucking insane. What the fuck is that? Why am I half dead all of a sudden? You're just sleeping and now you're nearly dead. And that hissing sound that you thought you heard, you did hear it.

It's getting a lot louder now. And now all of a sudden, this. Green, like, almost viscous smoke is blasting, blasting through the place. Wow. From where? From what you can tell. Roll a perception check to see if you can tell where it's coming from.

You couldn't quite tell before. 14. Okay. You can kind of, you sense that it's coming from something around over here, something behind the billiards table over there. Okay. In the arcade area. Yes.

And you have to roll. A dex check. I'm getting fucked. Yeah, you might die. I'm getting fucked. Uh, nine. Okay, you're going to take... All right, because I didn't write an intro.

That's what I get. Just in a really bad place. Or do a voice. You're just take three damage. Okay, that's nine. Every round that you're in this smoke, you will take more damage. Everyone roll initiative while we figure out, you have to figure out how to deal with this smoke.

It's going to keep expanding. D20, and then... add the thing that says initiative and I got a six okay I'm at I got a 13 okay eight initiative right there the square next to speed it's right under um intelligence or I mean 13 for you scope oh you roll a D20 you'll just take it straight so you'll have a 10 okay and then six for you jett eight for me eight for you so did you roll Alex yeah what'd you get I got 18 oh very good you're first you'll probably be first denies got 18

we have an eight for I'm glad Denise is 18 we got an eight for Adams I'm six oh this is my daughter this is not

hey daddy I gotta get out of here what is it I'm her brother this is all my children this is all my children is what this show is wait who got the eight

You did, Judge. I got the eight. You got the shabby. I mean, you got the six shabby. And what did you get, Vera? Ten. Ten. Okay, cool.

All right. So, the smoke is billowing out. Denise, what do you want to do first? What are my options? So you can move, you could do an action, you could try to stop the smoke, you could just try to leave the establishment. I want to run right into the smoke. You're going to run right into smoke.

Yeah. Okay, go for it. So use your movement. So each of these squares. On this is five feet. Okay. So you have 30 feet of movement. So six squares is your full movement without using your dash action.

Why are you running into the smoke to investigate? Yeah, but the smoke does poison damage. Cool. So, well, you can stick to it. You can investigate from where you are, yeah. So what I would, you can roll a, if you want as your action, you can do like a perception check quickly because it's just like timing-wise. So just roll that D20 and add perception to it.

Yeah, yeah. That's the one. eight plus or anything I think plus one right yeah plus one nine so you can't quite tell

what this smoke is you definitely recognize you've definitely like smelt it before but you don't know exactly what it is and you know you know that it's poised

but you don't you just don't have enough smelt it before and know that it's poisonous yeah but like like not just now like she was she just came over and whiffed it like this is but you've smelt it

before you don't know exactly what it is though but that you can do for your turn. And now, Scoob, you're up. Okay. Well, I'm all the way over here. And I guess, did I, did I notice that the smoke is coming in? Yeah. We're in the kitchen eating food. Do we know it all? Eating frog. Yeah. Food. Just to food. It is food now. I would say that you would hear the hissing pop and probably hear the lasers being shot out from the disco ball and enough that you would be aware of it. Okay. I mean, yeah, I'll just, I'll run out. Put yourself here like

by, like you can have yourself be there. Okay. And I'll just run out. into the open and just see what's up okay cool or i'm just going to stand on this table yeah i mean what you can do you can definitely like lock the smell of this now and add it to your smell bank okay i add it to my smell bank it's you in your smell bank this you take a big whiff of this skunky smelling thing oh it's skunky smelling you can start to pick piece that together now um and now okay i'll write skunk smell into my smell bank vira yes um i see what i see what has happened to my friend Jed my

Eskimo brother Jed and I want to wait we haven't we fucked I don't think we're not supposed to reveal that yet I just think that I just think that we're kind of operate on like a you and me are like taking turns and we fuck the same people

and then fucking trade it but we never at the same time and never to get never with that would be gay yeah yeah it would be gay to buck with yeah yeah yeah okay I see what has happened to Jed and I want to give him a sully snack. Okay, cool. So what you can do...

Do they do anything for me? Yes, they give you 5 HP. So you can eat a sully snack on your turn, too. Shove it in my mouth like Narcan? Yeah, I assume he's lying and kind of discombobulate a little bit, so I'm going to try to make him eat it down. Okay, cool. So you have to...

The thing is, you're pretty far away from him. Yeah. So what you can do is you can try to toss it over to him? Can I do a run and kind of like... Yeah, and shop put it? John felt off the pinball machine onto the ground. makes sense. Yeah, you could do that. Let's do either athletics. Do athletics

or acrobatics. Okay, minus one. Yeah. You're trying to hit it into my gullet. Yeah, okay. Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, I guess I'm knocked down my mouth as a, um, yeah, your mouth is 20. You got, oh my God. Joe's really good at D&B. You just, Velma has, chariots of fire is playing, you just like, for some reason

it's a perfect lunch. You're just like lying there, like, and you just taste this delicious, sell these snack in your mouth. You gain five HP bag. Do I wake up or not? Or was I ever? You were knocked out, yeah, no. Cool, that's great.

Now we're back to Jed. So Jed, you're the only one who's near the source of this. Back to? Just because stuff was happening. I'm near the source. Sorry, I mean the back. But did you ever go? No, he goes last.

That was my bad. I thought that I got, oh, no, he got neat. I said back, but I shouldn't have said back. Oh, yeah. So you're nearest to the source of this. It's also by the back door, too. So you can check to see as a free action. and I would say you can see

where it's leaking out of and you know that the back door the back door's open or no? The back door, well, roll perception check. Throw it wide. 18 plus 20. Okay, dirty 20.

You can tell that not only is it, it's not open, but you can see that it's like, you know when like you just open a door and like it swings back to close and like a little bit of it is like, yeah, okay. It's like somebody had opened it

kind of recently. I'm going to open it to see what's up in there. Okay, cool. So you head out to the back and you don't see anybody around. You do see just a dumpster to your left and then just parking.

He's in the dumpster. I don't see any greenness? I don't see any greenness. I don't see the trail from where all the crap was coming from? No, not here. Not like right outside. What does the ceiling look like

just for my role, my turn? But wait, but it was coming from this door. No, no, no, no. I'm saying like you, I, I, when I, um, yes, but, okay, you know what actually I should have you do? Uh, roll, roll another perception check because I realize that, like, you should be able to see something, but I misspoke there. I got a fucking 20 last time this time I get a four. Oh, man.

Uh, I mean, I'll say that like, well, you said you forgot to do it, so I think he gets it. I think he just gets it. Yeah, it's actually kind of true. Um, you see a green smoke sort of from underneath the dumpster. I knew it was the dumpster, dude. I said dumpster. Okay. So I walk outside and a dude.

continue to see a trick. Yes. You do. Okay. And I have superhuman strength. No. You're strong, though. What did you want to do? I wanted to flip the dumpster. I don't think you need superhuman strength to flip a dumpster.

You could certainly try. Try flipping a dumpster, Patrick. I could. No, you could not. I could. I will stop right now and go. Let's go pause right now. We're going to go. He did it.

Okay. I mean, I wasn't sure. I mean, I wasn't sure. It's now midnight, but like, you know. We had to find a really small dumpster. I, I, I, I had to find a really small dumpster. I, I, I, I, I am going to...

Okay. You can use your action to investigate. Well, first I'm going to say, I know you're under there, greeno. Say it just like that. Okay. Come on out of there, you bastard. Get out of there.

Come on. Get out from under the dumpster, you green bastard. You don't hear any, like, stirring or... Come on before I get angry with you, you green nutcase. I mean, nothing, nothing is to... All right, I'm going to go back inside.

Okay, cool. I go back inside. All right, yeah. And now your turn, Shabby. You wanted to know what the ceiling was like? Yeah. It's like regular. It's like kind of a mauve color for some reason.

So it's not like the ceiling tiles. Well, I guess... No ceiling tiles. Yeah, I was going to ask that. There are ceiling tiles in the bathroom. I thought it was being pumped in through the ceiling. But now... I came in so I can tell everybody.

Yeah, but now that he's already figured that out... Are you leaving the door open? I close the door so smoke stops coming in. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, everybody, I figured out the source of the green smoke. There's a stink, some stink guy, and he lives under the trash. Okay. And there you go.

We'll end initiative. Wait, you found my house. I forgot how to do you think that it might just be trash? So we could end the initiative at this point if, like, someone open. the window, all the smoke's going out, nobody's going to keep taking damage. There is that window that. Yes, there's one window. Yes. And so I think that

somebody could have opened a window. You guys can... Like, I open the front door. You guys can investigate the dumpster if you want to, or you can just head right to. I want to investigate, but I just want the whole squad with me because I think that I might be getting a green attention. Yeah, yeah. I think you need the strength of five people to split up. I'll, I'll investigate

the refrigerator. Scooby-Doo. Like, I'll investigate the ice cream machine. Okay, Scoob and Shabby, you guys got your thing. I'll go with the two girls and go lift the... I'll go lift the giant heavy... As soon as you're out of the room, me and Shabby start fucking.

Okay. Can't stop that, I guess. Like, oh, man. That's you coming. How do you come, Shabby? Oh, God! Yeah, that's okay. Friken normal as hell.

Okay, so me, we walk out. We go from the roller rink and go to investigate it, and I'll put my arm around her when we walk out. So what do you guys want to do to investigate? Do you want to, like, just roll an investigation check? I kind of, like, split between the two of them, because I know Vera has her arm around Denise. I, like, get between the two of them, put my arm on both. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I say, okay, ladies, so basically we, I need, we got to pick this big thing up.

Denise, why don't you go give it a try for? first. Just get down there on your ball fours. Okay. Before Denise does it, I slide back, I slide back around and get between the two of them. Oh. Okay. So I also have Denise on my arm. Okay, yeah. And then I have to what happens? I grab her

boobs. No, no, I don't do that. No. Not this one? Okay. Yeah, not this campbell. Okay. I'm going to go down and I'm going to try to start lifting the trash can. Okay, cool. So you guys, all of you guys roll a... For real, though. I'm going to try to... I'm actually going to get to the fucking bottom.

All of you guys roll D20 and add your string. Yeah, me, I don't roll. Me and Shabby, like, sneak back outside like we've been with you guys the whole time. You're trying to lift the dumpster. You just turn to see we're just also next to you. Your hair is about me out. My tongue is out of the side of my mouth.

It's like cutting to the angle you would see before. You guys are just there now painting. I don't have, I just have a jacket on. Shabwe. Hey, Shabby, your flies on Zip. Yeah, so is the rest of my pants. And that sandwich you ate must have a lot of mayonnaise on. Oh, man.

It's a oleon. Oh, mayonnaise. Scooby, dude, licking. Lick some clean. It's just a, ding. It's so clean. I got a 16 on my strength, or, um, no, wait, no, I, um, I mean, with all five of you there, I got a 19. I got a 17.

Yeah, with all five of you there, it's, it's way easier. As you lift it, you don't see, like, anything underneath it, but you do see a hole cut out, and you see, like, a little glass, like, the top of, like, a glass tube sticking out of the hole, and you also see, like, a hole into the establishment from that. So imagine, dumpster, hole on the bottom of it, and then a little glass tube coming out of that. Okay. And that kind of

sticking into So it's inside in the dumpster. Okay, so I'm going to open the dumpster door. You see what looks like you don't know

how to describe it. It's sort of like a glass tube and it has like a little like another smaller like apparatus on it with some sort of like green material

and it looks lit up. And also and and it's just like shooting it out. It's like a bad bong. It doesn't make any sense. What the hell? It's makeup.

It could be makeup, Denise. That's a really good guess, and you're really smart. You guys can roll. Thank you. One of you can roll a history check to see if you know what this is. Who's the best? Who's the best intelligent? You do.

Definitely Vera does. Well, I got a 15, so. I got an 8 plus 3. 11? Okay, so, I mean, that's pretty good. You would know that this is some kind of paraphernalia that has been going around the school for a little bit. But you don't know. Do we all go to the same school?

Like, it's been gone around the school? Shabby. Shabby is a guidance counselor. Okay. I'd like to ask Shabby because I think he has something to do with the spread around school. You guys have never, you haven't seen anything like this before. You don't really recognize what the green stuff is. Can I tell if this, can I tell if the smell is leading anywhere?

Good call. You can. It's in my smell bank. It's in your smell bank. So you can use a sniff to, like, try to track it. And I only get five sniffs. We only get five sniffs total. Are we going to use one?

Ever. I don't know. What do you guys think? I feel like we just, I feel like we just medicate. It's been 30 minutes. I feel like we medigame it. We just go straight to the castle. The frog mentioned.

Yeah. We don't, we stop investigating this. We just go straight to the castle. You could go straight to the castle. But then he's going to spend another 45 minutes drawn. No, I've got it drawn. We got it drawn. Let's all run to the castle.

We all, we all, we don't say anything. We just look at that device, all look at each other, and then just run it around to the castle. Yeah, you guys run to the castle. Let's do it. So, yeah, you guys, you have a mystery machine. You run right by it. You just spread to the castle.

And I'll talk about the castle in a second. First, I have to flip over some tie. to flip over some tiles. Everyone take their guy. Or girl, which is that's okay too. Or dog. Or dog, which is a boy dog, I think. Yeah, but it's just different.

Boy dog. So as you guys are approaching, actually, everybody flip these over while I read this. Okay. Save us some time. All right. I guess these don't. Guys are heading to the mysterious castle

that you heard about from Sullivan before you killed and ate him. This looks weird, this cigarette castle. There's all manner of youths outside protesting cigarettes. How peculiar... Why do I write that word? I can't say. How peculiar...

How strange. Some of them are dressed in their Halloween finest, of course, but they have eggs and teepee ready also. What gives? At the helm you see Mary Jane, a real goody two-shoes junior at Weirdo High School. What she got against cigarettes? Everyone knows they're just about the best. You also see a gatekeeper sitting guard. in a guard shack alongside the iron barred gate,

trying his best to keep the protests under control, while also mostly reading a magazine. I wonder if these teens will let you in. The manor itself, or the castle, is incredible. It's four stories high. At the very top, rests the cigarette tower. Even now defunct, it's still, always perpetually lit. Circle driveway out front, beyond the gate.

None of that is drawn. That's all imagination. This is the manner itself. We'll get to that. And then this, is that the entrance? Yeah, you guys aren't there. You guys are outside of it right now. We're going to do theater of the mine for this part.

Oh. Like what we usually do. And right, the circle driveway out front beyond the gate, the center of which holds the famous statues of Sir Nigel's cigarette OBE, the guy who invented the cigarette and cigar, bumming the first cigarette ever off of his nephew Chris while they were outside of a funeral home during the wake of Chris's father. The entire place is made of white stone,

tipped with the customary yellow. at the base of each stone, so it kind of looks like a bunch of stones with a little bit of yellow on the bottom. As if the place were made of fat, hard cigarettes.

The door is a rich brown, seemingly the same texture as a cigar. It's a huge entrance. But yeah, you guys roll up there and you see there's like all these protests against the cigarettes.

Oh, geez, it's just like Vietnam again. But yeah. Protests? I didn't go over there. I just got scared. of it because of the protests that we're going on. But you guys see a crowd out front.

It looks like it might be hard to push your way through or get in. You can try to talk to people in the crowd, investigate. You can try to go around. What do you guys want to do? My interest has been piqued by this Mary Jane character. Might as well. I'd like to walk in tandem with Jed up to her. And we both speak at the same time.

So she has a megaphone and she's going, what do we want? And the crowd says, no more cigarettes. And we speak at the same time. And we say, when do we want it? And they say, right now! I let them use my megaphone. To talk back to her. Okay, we both go up to her.

And we say, hello, slut. What are you losers doing here? Trying to fuck you. I put my hand on his head and push him away and go, try to get to know you first. And I push my head back in, and then fuck you. And then I push back and say, and fuck you. All anyone can hear is just the two megaphones are too close to each.

Would you just... We have it on alarm. And that noise is making me howl and freak out. I'm going creak. I'm biting people's legs in the crowd. He's screaming, so I'm going like... Oh, geez. Oh, man.

Okay, so she doesn't hear any of that. She just hears the siren. Two sirens a little bit off sync. She puts the megaphone away, and she says, everybody take five, weirdos are here, and she goes, what do you two want? Who the hell are you, and what are you doing outside of my damn house? I want to take five?

This is not your house. This is the cigarette castle. God, you're smart. Can you guys get out of here unless you're a part of the movement? Yeah, you're right. Let's get out of here. I'm actually a part of the movement, too. And I'd really be interested in taking more of a leadership.

So you can roll persuasion. You have minus 10 persuasion against any women, by the way. Yes, yes. Oh, minus 10 persuasion against women as a lesbian? She's really nervous. Oh, God. She's, like, so nervous. Okay.

15. So you have five. She's like, what do you, you just kind of, to her, it sounds like you're saying, that's happened before. Yeah. I think hearing what you were saying and then just what is coming out. You're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're a slut.

Yeah. Yeah. I try to just get the word movement out. Yeah. Join movement. Yeah, sure. Do you want to get you a sign-up sheet or? I'd like to join you in some kind of movement.

Yeah, I got it, Jed. And she goes to get like a sign-up sheet for you and hands it to you. I mean, you're endearing yourself to her. I'm just talking a swastik of good, but. Okay, cool. When I get it back, I kind of scratch the back of my head and like smile. Because that's what I can, I think I can muster that up. That's pretty good, yeah.

We're doing opposite. You're doing that kind of. Yeah, we have a different place. Playbooks. Yeah, absolutely. But we're winking at each other, like. One of us is going to use the ban at the end of the day. Well, okay, if you join the movement, that's great.

But I still really can't let you in. I mean. Into the castle? Is this your house? No. It's, I mean, well. Well, then how come you can't just let me in then? Well, we're planning to, we're planning to storm at the castle later tonight if you want to join.

If you, but if not, whatever. Uh, can I take a quick sidebar with Jed? Yeah, you can do that. Uh, Jed, I feel like one of us should be talking to her and joining this, uh, running in on the castle while the other one tries to sneak in before it happens. Uh, so, so, so like making a distraction? Yeah, sort of a distraction and one of us kind of gets to stick back with this girl. So you want to talk to her and maybe I go. We and Jackie have a great idea for a doctor.

Distraction. Well, go ahead. Tell us. We're going to turn a lot of heads. Okay, so what are you guys going to do to distract her? Well, me and Bear will sneak in while you guys distract him. Perfect. For her.

Hey, more her. Okay. Sounds great. Okay, so let's go, Rabby. Start the distraction in front of all these teenagers. Go ahead and start. All right, I'm just going to get on my hands and knees. Are you guys doing some kind of cheerleader?

Hey, everybody. I use the megaphone now. I have it on the right thing. everybody these two are about to do something you've never seen before everybody bring your attention to the 35 year old man and the dog okay roll persuasion with advantage me that's an 18 oh baby and that's a six so the 18 plus nice okay cool yeah everybody turns to like oh we're on a break I'd love to see this I guess I got a roll of performance. Yeah.

Both roll performance. What did you get? Uh, 16. I got a 15. Wow. Okay. That's some solid. Fucking dog sex.

You know what? You guys tell me what it's like. It's rough. Now you say that. Rough. Yeah. Cool. So you guys, it's like really, like, what is it like dirty?

It's brutal. Who's on what side? Are you playing? We, we. switch every minute. We're doing it for 20 minutes. It's like you can see a cloud, but like it's a trend.

It's a transparent cloud, though. Instead of seeing fists popping out, you see like a dick, it said like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like that. Okay, amazing. And then I, and then I, so everyone's just looking at this

cloud and they're like, oh God! So while everybody's distracted, everyone's distracted. Me and Barry. including MJ. And while MJ is looking the other way, I pluck a piece of her hair out. And we're going to go

and I'm going to put that in my inventory. We're going to sneak into one of the windows. So really quickly, what's the... Sure. Can I find a point of entry here? So what you can do, you have a free investigation check to look around.

I will say going through the front entrance because of the gatekeeper will still be hard to do. This is where perhaps Denise, your feminine Wiles could come into play and the gaykeeper's pension for fucking teens I guess also How much time are they buying us? 20 minutes. It's really up to you guys.

20 minutes. Okay, 20 minutes before. I'm on all sorts of medication. I can last a long time. And I got that dog in me. Yep. And everyone can't stop watching. 20 minutes, they are just transfixed.

It's like the Salencio scene. Okay. So I'm, we're going to bring, So I guess we'll bring Denise, too. Yeah. So we're going to bring you up. Yay. Like, you're our niece, I guess, to this guy.

Yeah, and we bring him to the gatekeeper, and we go, someone wants to talk to you to the gatekeeper, and we push Denise forward. Yeah. I like you. You have nice eyes. I like your skin. It's sad. We're going to have the role persuasion.

You guys are going to do it. All right, well, so let's play out this scene. Then we'll do investigation check for you guys. So he goes a... No, thank you. Roll a persuasion check. You get plus three on that, because he's the opposite sex. I got three.

He's kind of like, it doesn't, like, kind of like, no... You had, like, no introduction, so he's kind of, like, confused by what you're saying. He has a... I breach my arm in and I just put lipstick all over her face. Okay, roll... How about now, buddy? I have five. It's a little bit better, right?

I'll watch this. I put it. Look, that's great and everything. I can't really let anybody in here, right? What if I take off all my clothes? I won't really allow that. I can't allow it. Legally.

Do I? I just won't allow that. I have 75 feet of wire. Could I make like a garret and, a garrote, whatever that's called, and I, maybe just kill this guy, yeah. Of course you can. I didn't want our kid.

So you also have, you also have Denise, the crying ability, too, you can use. Oh, okay, I'll do that. Yeah, yeah. So you start crying. What are you crying about? I'm sad.

No, tell them to cry. Start crying. Oh, I'm sad. Please let us in. Give me a D20. Here we do. Okay. Yeah, that's not enough.

So he's like, no, no, no. No, she did. No, it's not enough on his part. Oh, no, oh, nice. So he's, sorry, yeah, yes. Good job, Denise. Keep crying. So he's like, oh, I'm sorry.

Okay, I guess I can. And remember, if that's not enough, she will take her clothes off. I don't want to keep trying. Somebody's telling me to not acknowledge her. All right. I'm somewhere. Okay, I'll, look, I'll let you win. You can just come and talk and. coming to the front area,

just don't go anywhere else. And so he opens the gate. Right now, right now, right now outside, I'm also coming into the front area. So he just lets you in. So you're behind the gate. You two, you roll an investigation check, Vera. Two.

That's bad. You roll one now. Okay. Oh, wait, that's five. Yeah. That's still not better. I get, you said, investigation? That's right.

That's a 17. That's how it's done, lesbian. I stand down. While all this is happening, cut back to you guys from that. Yeah, we're done, and I opened up a pack of cigarettes to have a cigarette after this, and I get a golden ticket to the cigarette manner. It does not happen.

It doesn't happen. Blake, I found a golden ticket. I've got a golden ticket. I'm smoking a bully stick. You smoking a what stick? One of those dog sticks. Dog owners, no. Dog owners know.

Dog owner's not. Dog owner's not. Yeah, that's actually, it's a cow's penis or something. Yeah, it's a bull's penis. Okay, yeah. So you, with that's 17, oh, damn, yeah. You see iron. You see, like, iron, like, rungs on the side of the manner, on the back, going all the way up to the second floor.

That, like, look like they're meant to blend in, but they, you can see them pretty clearly. So you can use that to get in through a window up there, which you see these, like, pretty curtains. I bring the girls and we go to do that. But I go up, I sag my pants a little bit so that I show my butt cracked in you. Okay. And I like it. Okay. Looks good.

Wait, so are we going in with that? Yeah, we realize, we realize that they're leaving, and we just, we just try to, we just try to walk in. Okay, I have a plan for you guys. The guard goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, I can't, I can't, whoa, whoa, hey, I can't, I can't let you. Are you a little girl now? No, he's, he's, let my daughter go into the building. It's not your daughter. Not good?

Not good, it's a five. I mean, I don't know. I don't, how do I know that she's your daughter? Like, love. get her hair. You guys have the same color hair. I have no more hair from stress.

Is she balding too? She's also balding. You can roll deception again with no penalty with your help. She's far away. She's just in the front yard. I stand up on my hind, I stand up on my hind legs

and I'm face to face with him, eyes to eyes. And I say, I left my dog toy in there. Okay, he saves against psychic damage. That was on saving against psychic damage, but now roll deception. Okay, that's a 10. Okay, yeah, he's like, I don't know if I've ever seen you before.

Like, I left my dog toy in there, too. Do you know them? Yeah, these guys are mine. These are my best friends Okay, yeah With that he's like All right, just fine, come here Just, I don't want these protesters to know

But just take care of your kid, I guess, or whatever And, uh He's like, just looking at you, Scoopy He's like getting like, I'm licking his face And he's getting an interesting taste Um, roll perception also Okay Um, that's a 19

Oh wow, okay As you're looking his face You get a you get a look at his lapel and you see his name there and it says George Dewey

that's just something you say George Dewey good name so you guys enter in I say thank you George Dewey you guys get in there from the front you guys are going from the back so we're going to split

this up a little bit in that case because you three are going into the front or yeah and Velma Vera whoops, and Jed are coming in from the back. So, whoa! Now that's an awesome episode of television.

I wonder what's going to happen next. Whoa! I didn't see you there. Don't sneak up on me like that. It's Halloween. Anyway, I got an awesome message for you and your parents. As you probably know, our Saturday morning cartoon block is able to provide you

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you can listen to more of our Scaretober programming and also additional Dungeons and Dragons programming and help keep cartoon characters like the ones you just heard off the streets and away from drugs like weed, which was alluded to in this episode of the show. Head to Swagpoop.com to find out how to subscribe to the Dungeons and Dragons tier, or go to patreon.com slash a podcast about list. This is GunnySack, signing off and saying, Kawabunga. Thank you.

Thank you.