Podcast About List - UNLOCKED Premium #187 - These Pups Are A Blessing

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

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Well, it happened again. We got to unlock another premium because I got stuck in my washing machine. And no, it's not for a sexual thing. I'm not stuck in here because I'm a stepmobmy. I'm stuck in here because I tried to go to Laundry World. Well All right Let's just start the fucking episode

I guess about this Nice Yeah Hitchcock did not do Squidward suicide I think he did No That is a very common myth

It is a very common myth He did that was incredibly suspenseful You're thinking of Ben Dround Been Dround is what Hitchcock made No, David, I'm getting Ben drowned. You're thinking of... Squidward's suicide is pretty lynchian. No, Squidward's suicide was Hideo Nakata.

Oh, okay. It was a Japanese film. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense because it has themes of suicide. That shit honestly still scares me. Yeah, I rewatched. I'm not going to... I can't...

Ben drowned, I will never revisit that. It is too scary, bro. Do you, like, remember they made multiple... People made multiple animated versions of, like, what the description of the episode is. Yes. I watched, I sat in bed,

I had my girlfriend's laptop, and I was watching every single one of them and rating them to her. That sounds like something where you would come here. I was watching them and would like turning to her and going like, that one wasn't as good as the first one I saw.

What was the best one? Best one I saw was the one. I think I took a picture of it. Please don't show it to me. Please do not. You're going to see it. Has Ben drowned the Legend of Zelda one? Yeah, yeah.

That's that one. He hacked the entire. game. He did modifications. That one, that one's so sick. That's impressive. How was this guy not, how was this guy not like a very famous? Squidward Suicide Lost Episode 2005 by SpongeBob Lost Episodes. That's a good one. Show me the picture.

Oh, he's got poop in his eye. Oh, God, it actually was like, you know what this close-up cameras? This is for Patrick to show his phone. Wow. That's genius. Yeah, my girlfriend's mad because I ruined her YouTube algorithm though. Girlfriends always get mad they get mad when you fuck up their YouTube

algorithm. I signed on to my YouTube account on the TV announces all Jimmy High Roller NBA videos and she's pissed man. She's trying to watch house tours or some guy she shows at Townsend. Remodeling. Yeah all that shit. Fuck you. You know what's it called.

Property brothers. Rehebe. Reheating. Rehee. Rehee. Rehee. that you just blew out so bad my today my heart hurts yeah yeah because of what the air is doing bad things to everyone's not that i was fine with that i don't care i thought i thought it was bad until i went outside and there was a bunch of Latino people playing volleyball and i was like oh yeah it's not a big deal everyone was outside all that who gives that shit yeah it's a nice out today what is making my heart is out today is that video came out today i don't recommend

you watch it of a man being eaten by a shark where'd you see that I saw it how do you see all these videos yeah searching them out I don't search you're like the biggest

you're the biggest you're the biggest wimp when it comes to videos like that don't say wimp and then you are a wimp he's the biggest wimp when he comes to videos like that

but then he's the one who sees every single one of them I hate I hate violence because it's just so it used to be so natural to me yeah you have to watch those videos when you when somebody sends you

man-eaten by shark dot M-Haguer whatever you. It was just a daily dot or some shit. Daily dot is what they put in restaurant foods. That is not a thing. What? That's what a guy, one time

I got shrimp at the 99 restaurant and they baked a daily dot into the bread. What the fuck are you talking about? And the guy came over. I was like, hey, there's a bunch of paper in my food. What the hell is this? And the manager said, oh, you found our daily dot.

That just means, well, the good news is that the shrimp is fresh and we cooked it today. And I said, buddy, I don't want paper. Give me my money back. They put paper in the food? They dropped a piece of paper into the breading of the shrimp. Oh, so it's like if somebody finds it, they know that it's to get it away. It's a quality thing. Also, it's probably on the bad, though.

Paper goes bad. I ate a bunch Paper goes bad It yellows Yellows over time I don't even think that's true Yeah it does Does paper go yellow over time

Yes it does I think paper just used to be more yellow Because of the pulp What are you on about Paper goes bad It does not go bad Over a day Three month rule

Do not purchase more paper Than you can use in three months A daily dot Not a three monthly dot The point is video How long does this paper expire? What is the lifespan of photo paper? The three month rule?

Wait, what? Five years. Five years. Yeah. Paper goes bad within five years. How does paper go back? Wait, no, wait. Listen to what it says. It says, it says the first signs of deterioration are loss of speed. Huh. Oh. That must be about photo paper. Yeah, yeah. It's on photography forms. Yeah, no, normal, just copy paper. White paper does not go bad.

Paper goes bad. Paper does expire. This again is photo. This is, this is photo stuff. Okay, search does normal paper go bad? Wait, no, it was right there. Expired printer paper, Reddit R-slash eBay. Zoom in. Wait, somebody's trying to buy this shit on eBay? I'm having a hard time finding any info about expired printer paper

until recently. I didn't even realize it had an expiration date. So does it really expire? I have something that expired 20 years ago. What the fuck? This has got to be about photo printers again. Oh my God, the comments are deleted. Oh, my God. It's because they're trying to suppress this information.

Normal office paper will absorb moisture from ambient humidity. Unless it is sealed in an air type package. So paper can go bad if it is exposed to moisture. But that's only that you can't print on it because it might jam the printer from being wet. But just dry that out. Just dry that out. Just dry that out. You can put that shit, a clothes line with all paper.

Paper must go bad eventually. Paper, everything goes bad. Everything has an expertise. It disintegrates. Unless you freeze it. Yeah. That's why they have paper straws and shit. But it doesn't go bad.

It's not like you. It's bad. But also a paper straw even doesn't even, they recycle that. I mean, I think more if you leave a slice of, or a sheet of paper out. A slice of paper. No, I like that. That, my fucking, my weird math teacher in sixth grade, the one he gave a deluxe huss. I was wondering why I remembered this.

He would say, he would say fresh slice of paper and then lick his lips. He loved it. Fresh slice of paper. I said it by accident because I'm addled. Speaking of paper. you guys saw what I sent you. Dundamifflin was under a hack. Scranton had the

for some time. The worst air quality in America. Scranton, Pennsylvania. Well, our heart goes out to Jim and Pam. I don't give a fuck about Jim and Pam. Well, they, I think they leave Scranton for Philly at the end. So Dwight and Angela and Andy. Angela's a whore.

She's not a whore. She's a Christian. Oh, wait, wait. Bro. I forgot. Have you seen the fucking show? She's a slut. She sluts out with Andy Bernard. She sluts out.

with everybody she sluts out with Dwight and then she marries Dwight but then she she sluts out with the senator I never watched it she's the whole crew is hitting Angela yeah and honestly she's mid

she mid she's mid I would rather have Kevin I would close your eyes Kevin the no teeth uh huh whoa and he had to eat that chili Kevin doesn't have teeth

I think he's missing his front teeth he's not missing his front teeth his lip is just big no he's missing his, he is missing his front. His top lip just does this. I don't know. I'm going to look, wait, look up Kevin the office teeth right now. Kevin the office big teeth. No, not big teeth. Just look up big teeth without Kevin the office. He's got some kind of just his lit. No, he has no front. He has no front teeth. Are you crazy? His lip covers his teeth. Oh, whoa, look at that. Well, he wasn't there. But go down. There was one where he's like me. He's got tiny little chicklet teeth. Yeah.

no he does not yeah his top lip his top lip covers it he doesn't have any teeth he has teeth we just saw the teeth those are frying bomb gartner is the grown up version of Dayton yeah he doesn't have any teeth dog

he looks completely different he's gotten so much surgery since the show Kevin you can't be doing that man you can't be dressing up like that he's trained for a bodybuilding competition oh yeah dude that shit's so fine the bronzer that they put on bodybuilders I'm going to join a bodybuilder competition yeah yeah i think i should join i think i am going to join i found one that is a instead of doing a drug

test they do a um jump detector test oh really which is the funniest thing yeah yeah that you have to go into and that you do a lie detector screening that's so funny and they ask you do you do drugs oh why not yeah why not just do a drug test what other questions are they going to ask it is really see that's a scary i guess maybe it's cheaper it's a one-time purchase to buy a polygraph versus buying a bunch of drug testing, whatever. How would you... So many podcasts have done a polygraph. I don't think we'll do it.

But how would you beat it? What's your strategy going into that? Probably give myself a heart attack. Yeah. Just die. Heart attack. Sociopathy. Sociopathy.

It is funny to imagine the bodybuilders, like, going in for that lie detector test and immediately just, like, they think that the lie detector is not passable at all, so they just, like, are breaking down. Just I'm like, yeah, just... I smoked a little weed. It's streaking the bronzer.

Yeah, the bronzer is like going away. Actually, I don't think you do your face. I smoked a cigarette before I came in here. I think you do only your face. I think you do. You do your face. What kind of, you're going to face building competitions.

That would be cool. Just get the biggest pointiest face possible. Like doing the jaw training? I would beat a polygraph by having. I did that because I have TMJ and it was affecting my sleepiness. Yeah. I would beat a polygraph. I would just use a prosthetic arm.

Yes. Or whatever they connect. Well, that's a hack, by the way. Then they notice there's zombie flesh on it. If anybody does bodybuilding competitions. I would use zombie flesh. Or I guess if anybody has an extra limb or is missing a limb or has an extra finger, I think that you're almost a shoe at like a low level bodybuilding.

That's why the first question they always ask on the polygraph is, do you have a sixth finger? There is a girl in my German class. The girl in my German class in high school who had two thumbs on one hand. I know a kid with an extra polydactyl. I never saw it in person. I only ever saw it online. She had a big thumb that was going out like this. Two extra fingers.

Going like this and she would wear those, like her sweatshirt over it. She didn't want him to see. Yeah, I would too. I think on a first day that might be a deal breaker, extra finger. Not if you're in the smoke circle and you're like, here, I got roach clips right there. Oh, snap. Fucking going up to people. Helping people out.

Oh, fucking snap. Putting the fucking. Two thumbs could be a game. change your yeah if there's any two finger if there's any finger you want two of it's a thumb and here's what this person should do they should be a movie critic

uh huh yes three thumbs up yeah yeah oh my god four if that I mean then they can just do this you'll see some crappy fucking Michael Bay movie yeah oh four thumbs down don't say that about Michael Bay I'm just joking I actually like his movies quite a lot

yeah what's that movie he made about the Transformers that movie Michael Bay made with the rock The robots and the... Well, it's funny to say with the rock because, you know, he made movies with the rock in it. Yeah.

He made the movie called The Rock. That's true. You kind of did a funny little... What's the movie he made? Pain and Gain? Yeah. I want to see that. That's the rock, right?

That is the rock. Yeah, that's the rock in Kevin Hart. No, it's a Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. Oh, speaking of Mark Wahlberg. I started watching Entourage. Yeah. I've seen a lot of similarities to our lives.

Really? Yeah. Is that show? Jubio is turtle. It's real. Yeah, Jubio is completely turtle. Uh-huh. I'm Ari.

Okay. You are... Vincent Chase. Vince. Yeah. You're Vince for sure. And he's Johnny Drama. Who?

Johnny Drama. Johnny Drama. Drama? You don't know drama? I'm one episode in. Who's turtle? Yeah, that's the way. It's the first picture.

That's him. The first picture. Yeah, he's a turtle where they put a bunch of hamburger ingredients on him. dude jubias sent me the most fucked up picture of a hamburger last night he was eating with the plastic yeah he sent me the most fucked up picture of the burger he said this is authentic oh look at that he sent me that too what kind of hamburgers eating it with a plastic fork show the

show the gopro in his house in what world is this a hamburger i'm sorry he came to america started complaining about every single food saying this is not authentico enough buddy that is not authentico. That does not look like an American burger. There's nothing like a burger. I'm sorry. Just him looking up, whose turtle is so fucking funny.

Not even whose turtle reminds us. We need to pop so hugely that then we do an entourage style, produce a movie about, or a show about our experience. What is entourage? It's mostly based on Mark Rogers. It's a reality show. No, no, no. It's like a

script. I mean, it's a, it's a, it's a show. It's a show show show. It's a drama show about Vincent's it's funny hooking up with Sasha Gray it's pretty funny she's in that

I don't know I've only seen the first episode that was her big acting role that was the one when she made the jump over

and now she is a Twitch streamer what a fucking loser just I mean just stick just like I don't get that

shit just you do porn for like four months and just make enough money that you never have to do anything again any money doing that though you don't think

such a great man you get paid in pleasure you get paid in pleasure trust me they did not pay me enough you wouldn't do porn I did and you can't tell it's me because I'm in a suit I couldn't do porn man my penis is too small I can't tell it but I don't want to

I'm inflated I'm inflated I could see you pulling up in the porn movie no yeah but you'd be the wimp dead there to be honest you'd be the wimp that they kick out I think it's a little cringe. You'd be the makeup artist. I would. The makeup artist, they fuck. Yeah.

That would be you. Yeah. Yeah, it's a part of it. Do they have like PAs and shit? Yeah. Yeah, it's a full industry. Yeah, it's a whole This world is... Whole ass thing. This world is fucking sick. I mean, they used to, if I'm going by

Boogie Knights rules. They used to have a whole thing. Yeah, that's true. Porn is really falling off since Boogie Nights time. They don't really do porn anymore, do they? They don't do. They don't do The same way they see it's downscaled a lot. They're not shooting it on one by three by eight or whatever cinema scope. They're not shooting it on IMAX.

I was looking at you through a scope right now. Wakandascope. I hope it's by Nuccasope. Wacondascope. I guess it's probably a Wakanda scope. Some kind of a laser beam shooting directly at your head. You wouldn't do that. I would.

Do they have laser beams in Wakanda? You got to assume. Yeah. Why would you assume they wouldn't? because they mostly have little claws that they are made out of vibrating. You're thinking of Black Panther. He's one guy. Am I thinking of just one guy?

They all have like guns and lasers and stuff, right? No, no, no, his name's not Wakanda, you racist. Then what was the movie about? The movie is about the basically this, it's like Richard's scary book. It's like a town. Isn't it crazy? They got a worm and got a job. Yeah, they got a worm in an apple.

But the Black Panther, the second Black Panther movie when Chadwick Bozeman died and they're like, we're going to do this movie in his memory. This is dedicated to him. And it's about Africa versus Mexico. It was a cause very close to his heart. Underwater Mexicans come and try to destroy Africa. Yeah, that is kind of funny. Yeah, if I was trying to honor Chadwick Bowman, I would have given his family the budget for the movie.

$300 million. Yeah, just giving him that, then fucking... Then make the most racist movie ever. Not made a fucking sequel to Black Panther. I actually didn't even see it. I didn't see it either. I just saw the trailer. I liked the first one, man.

The first one was cool as fuck. Yeah. I like when he jumps around. The ending was terrible. The jumping. The jumping is impressive. Yeah. The jumping is...

Oh, my God. I love that movie. The jumping and the stunts. The stunts. Oh, and the singing. Do they ever explain why they're not sharing all this? technology with the world. I think that gets solved in the end.

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I don't remember. They should have just put, well, kind of should be a planet so that you don't have to answer that question. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because there's, I mean, there's a lot of things. There's a lot of things that take place in the MCU. I mean, listen, okay, I get it. You don't want to share

with us white people. At least share it with the rest of Africa. Yeah, exactly. Africa's in such bad sorts, bro, and you're spread it around the cotton and a little bit. I'm not even saying I need to have all that shit. I don't need a flying thing. Does any of that shit like exist in that world?

Does any of it exist in real life? Does any of that shit exist in that world like like apartheid or like the Holocaust or like anything that they could have stopped? Well, that's the question about Steve. Well, yeah, because Magneto's a Holocaust survivor. Well, I guess he's not part of it yet. Did it's in some multiverse? In Marvel and DC and shit where superheroes, have they always been around or was it just like I think they've always been around? 40s and onward i think that it just depends on i think that there's no like overarching

canon because when is superman come into play when is he his first kind of thing well he's a little 40s for a long time in the 40s yeah so he should be that's all that's the fun they're all they all started in the 40s because it's when they came up i need a hero yeah yeah i need a hero but they all were punching hitler on the comic books and stuff that's true there is one if you He burns those. You burn those. I burn what? Do a DVD.

Yeah. And you watch it. You flip it off. Yeah. Oh, God. The slide show of all the covers. The, yeah, if you look on like every single like one of those like Superman wiki, the Flash wiki, any of those. And you look up Hitler, there is always a page.

Yeah. In the superhero comics. There's always. I mean, it's just a fact that in there's always the coolest guy you can be fighting as a Nazi. They don't have the He's not the coolest guy They're the best most evilest They don't have the Punisher fighting Hitler

But I guess that makes sense Because he came out in the set Well I don't know Maybe they could do a what if I bet you a hundred dollars That the Punisher fought Nazis He fought Nazis but the Neo kind Yeah

So I'm saying they all did Yeah All them fought them I'm talking about the first ones You're talking about Hitler himself That's gonna be so sad To be a Nazi To be a Nazi yeah

That's got to be so fucking sad yeah no representation whatsoever because you're you're also a dork you're saying you get bullied by the other Nazis yeah oh I see yeah it's like kind of like you're on the at the bottom of the barrel on both sides exactly yeah you're right yeah because you're not and I mean you're you gotta be the only Nazi comic book nerd I'm starting to feel bad for this guy honestly I mean just like yeah it's kind of sad it's very sad his whole life is sad he should kill himself. No, no, no, no. If I was in that position, we don't want anyone

to kill them. What? No, no, no. Okay. No, no, fuck, no. Okay. That's disgusting. All right. All right. I'm sorry that I brought up suicide. He has a whole family. What? Yeah. I know people who have committed suicide. And you're saying stuff like that to me.

Who? Kirk Cobain. That's disputed. Who else was? Oh. Anton Yelton Yeah Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs He committed suicide In a way he kind of did He fully did Yeah he did He did He invented a computer He didn't even invent it

He knew about medicine He didn't even invent it man Do you think that Steve Jobs would He was a huckster He was a huckster He's a snake oil salesman Absolutely These computers don't even work

Would like He would be He would have literally been Merlin the wizard back in English times. Back in the English time. Do you guys ever think that maybe you have the possibility of being a Steve Jobs style change of the world kind of guy? I think I could get there.

What do you think would be your avidavit? Me? It's not this. It could be this. We could come up with an invention that actually, that some scientist thinks like, that would be funny to make it and then he makes it and then he's like, oh, snap. either like an inventor or a dancer or a singer or novelist or an artist like painter type artist or an artist with words novelist in a web 3.0 space graphic novelist or like a chef or a construction

worker. There's no construction worker that has ever changed the world. Not true. No, no, no, my friend. Ithel Tower. Empire State Building. Stonehenge. I'm thinking of a different Eiffel Tower and that did change the world. Whoever invented Eiffel Towering, that shit changed the world. Whoever thought up of that? Yeah. Not even, I mean, I guess the name, too. Yeah. But what did they call it before that shit?

Ring around the rosy. The Tower of Babel. Yeah. Let's hanging gardens of Babylon, this girl. Yeah. You know, it doesn't have a colossus of Rome. Does not have that good of a ring to it. Yeah.

Great wall. I guess that great, when a woman gets great walled, that's when it's like the 500-person gang bang. Yeah. How's that? They all line up. Oh, my. I thought that they were the ones moving.

She's the one. Well, doesn't she just sit there? On the Great Wall, that's why it's great wall. That's the thing that would suck about doing the 500-person gangbang is just waiting in line, dude. Yeah. You should be able to fast pass. They should have a guy going up and down the line selling food and concessions. We need to break a world record.

Yeah. We need to break a world record very soon. We've maybe talked about this before. for what could we do what world record we've definitely talked about breaking world records well any any man worth his salt has done that yeah has talked about it at the very least considered it but they're i mean we had this conversation could we do longest podcast could we talk to we had we had our yeah we had a great plan that i wanted to do that just never shook out oh that one we could definitely still do we're going to do it yeah we have to we'll do it we'll do it

for some milestone look at world's longest podcast i want to see what the record is it's probably held by rogan or something four hours you think that's the world's longest fucking podcast i know for a fact they got longer ones because i listened to them before mike russell 36 hours god fucking that's no that's easy to beat yeah fuck we'd have to hire i think you'd have to pay like 10 000 to get the guinness person to come yeah 10 000 something like that that'd be funny to pay the guinness person to come and then just immediately being like... 36 is so beatable.

36 is so, so beatable. That is hard, man. Well, what's the exact time? It's completely... If it was like 48 hours and we had to go past 48 hours, I would be like, no, I don't want to do that. But 36 hours is completely doable.

But it's a day and a half? Yeah. And you have to do what? You just have to go past that. You do 37, but it doesn't have to... It doesn't have to... 150 hours? That's the longest...

That's a lot of... 53 hours in one minute? Oh, fuck. Yeah, I'm not doing that shit. You say 50 hours in one minute? I literally, and I do not want to break a record. Why? Because you don't have fortitude.

Somebody would break my record. You're going to let the fame change you if you break a record. Fame would change me. Somebody would break my record. Yeah, there's an audio only live stream. That's bullshit. That does not count at all. No, we're saying podcasts.

We're saying iTunes. It's in the feed. It's a full. Yeah. That's what always made me laugh. Somebody opening it and it's a 40 hour. It takes up all the stores on your phone. Your phone auto downloads.

Yeah, it just completely. Yeah. No, I think that's a good idea. I think it's a really good idea. I think we could do that. We could also break some kind of food record. Probably not even eating. Probably some kind of we make the biggest.

Make the biggest noodle. Make the tastiest sandwich. The world's tastiest sandwich. Make the world's most unhealthy as salad. Okay. Oh, that's good. So why would it be? Poison.

No, it can't be point. It needs to be something that somebody can take about. Unhealthy. Iceberg lettuce and strict nine. That's it. That's the only two ingredients. Oh my God. The world's least

amount of ingredients in a salad. I could be like the world, I could do the world's least interested in eating a chocolate bar. And I can just sit a chocolate bar and not eat it. How long do you have to sit?

What's the record for that? It's not about the length. It's about how disinterested? How long is the chocolate bar? But the way you measure that is how long is somebody sat across the table from a chocolate bar and not touched it?

Yeah. I think I guess. break that record. Longest, but nails. But it is also, we need to make that called a Guinness.

We would like to set the record for longest sitting near a chocolate bar and not even thinking but also, yeah, you can't also, it has, you have to be most

disinterested, so you can't even be like, you can't even be like, thinking about it. You can't even, it can't even register. So we, oh,

well, that'll be, once we get the neurolink technology, there will be a whole new brand of world records. Yeah. 20 easy world records to break. Oh,

maybe I could just try and break. tallest guy. Yeah. There's no way. What are you, 6.3? Yeah, I could see.

There's no fucking way. I might as well submit, though. You're not even in the top 100. I might as well just submit to the

record and see if I get it. There's taller people everywhere. But I might get it. How do I know that they've if they've tried to get the record or not?

What if everybody is a little taller and he's like, oh, there's probably a taller Robert Wadlow. Something. Tallus living guy. What's that guy?

I think that's what's his name? Tallest living guy. There's like an eight-foot guy and fucking... Yeah, but maybe he never called the Guinness Book of World Records. He's famous. He's famous. So, obviously, he saw, was, they took a picture of him.

Uh-huh. You don't know that. What was that guy, the guy from, uh, big fish? Maybe I said, the big guy, like, talk about this. Oh, I don't know. You don't remember that guy? Are you talking about the guy who played Jaws? No.

The shark? No, the guy in big, the big fish. I never watched Tim Burton. I never seen that. With Ewan McGregor. Never seen it still.

Oh. It's about a dad who's a liar. Oh. Yeah. You say it's a horror movie? No, it's just like a

normal movie, but this guy was in a lot of stuff. Matthew McRory. He's not even that tall. 7-2. There's taller people in the NBA.

Yeah? Yeah, the number one pick Victor. Then maybe I can get shortest guy. There's you're also not in the conversation for sure. Oh, oh, oh. I was like, damn, why does he have an LAPD article?

I was like, I was because he was found dead. Oh, no. So? So, that's what I'm saying. Oh, you might be right. But he has the largest feet. He had 29 and a half feet. I have bigger feet than that.

He had 29.5 feet? Yeah. Shoes. Oh. That's pretty big. That's a size where that's not even a size. Yeah. That's not a real size.

You might as well, why are you even asking for this size? Right. Yeah. It's not like, you're getting, you're getting your shoes custom made. Yeah, you're not, you don't go to the store and say, I'm 20. You might have a hundred, yeah, I have special feet. Yeah, just make them, they don't need to be sized. They're not stamping the vans on the size on the sole.

They might. Not for this guy. No, they might. They might stamp his name. A big, big guy. And you know he's not wearing vans either. Yeah. He's an actor.

He definitely has some kind of orthopedic insult. he has to wear his knees are definitely overpourinated what pronated pronated over pronated oh okay does that mean they're i added out is when is when your anger leads out oh that hurts that has to hurt from impact i actually don't know if it's outer end but yeah it's when you well i know about it from feet i don't know about knees he knows a lot about feet that's what he's telling us. I don't think he does. I just know about my own feet. Tell me your feet. What size shoe do you wear? 12 and a half? No, 11.

I don't know. We all wear the same size shoe, I think. It's different every time. You're trying my shoe. I think, let me these are, I think, 11 and a half, but I think they're too small. I think I'm like 12. These are an 11 and a half. Mine are. Yeah, okay, these are 11

a half, which means the last shoes I bought were 12. Sample, not for people. Sample, not for recent. Oh, I thought it said people. I was like, get that shoe off your foot right now. What are you doing? I thought you were trying it on. I don't want. Why would I try your shoe on?

I just looked at the size of my shoe and said 11. I thought that we were showing off that we all had the same shoe size. Mine are some fucked up French size. So they say they're 38 or something. I have a bigger shoe. What is it say 43? I don't know. What are you guessing?

48? I don't know. I'm telling you, I don't. 33? 403. Holy crap. Oh my God, you're smart. Wait, no, because we all have the same shoe size.

And you wear a 43 in this? Let me see. How did you know that? Okay, so. He's putting the shoe on. You look like a girl in these. I feel like Cinderella. Give me my shoe, bro.

Do you want to try mine off? No, dude, we're not. That's the worst radio of all time trying each other shoes on. It's horrible. No, we need a topic to talk about. Okay. Say something. Fuck.

Oh, I feel like I had something. Oh, America's secret weapon against hearing losses here. Do you guys know that? I think it's not screaming. I've been getting more and more and more of the alert from my phone that says the volume needs to be turned down. You listen to your volume too loud? I don't think I do.

I don't think I do at all. Why? I mean why? I don't think it's loud whatsoever. I think that my headphones are quiet. Do you listen for a long time? My phone doesn't know. Hours.

Yeah. Hours and hours and hours. On end? On end. I never stop. I always have my headphones out. I always, I play speakers out instead. I don't do that.

I use my phone speaker. I find that to be annoying. Well, I don't, I do it. I'm usually alone. Even then, I think what if the neighbors? Also, I have an embarrassing taste in music. I don't want people to hear this. Me too.

I probably have more embarrassing taste of music than you. I don't use my phone screen. I use my, I use the sound bar that Noah got. For some reason, I think, it's annoying. I think. using a speaker, a Bluetooth speaker. I think it makes you a bad person. That's crazy.

Wait, wait, what do you, where do you, you listen out of your phone? That's weird. That is weird. That is really weird. That is very weird. Because I put it in my pocket and I walk around. That's extremely weird. That is so weird, man.

You're muffling the sound. No, I'm not muffling it because I put the speaker coming out of my pocket. That is still odd. That means that you have to wear at least the chinos or some kind of slacks that have the side pocket. If you wear like jeans. that's going to muffle their shit okay I didn't know you were I didn't know you had it like that I didn't know you were like wearing shorts in my house anyway damn damn you got that warm house I usually just actually don't wear pants in my house yeah don't tell me this shit we already

talked about that don't fucking tell me that though that's true no he's told us about this he walks around you were the one who said it more than me you go poo bear in you like it you like it You like it even more. I made it all up. How about that? I lied. I don't lie. I made everything up.

That's why we call him Cameron Lincoln. Because he don't lie. He's incapable of lying. I'm honest. He's down his cherry tree. That was George Washington. Did he also not lie? Is that the story?

He said I cannot. He just said I cannot tell a lie. But then he probably did later on. It wasn't his overall quality. It was one thing he just said. Also, you can't be a war general and not lie. Right. Because what if they call you?

To capture you. They send you a carrier pigeon that says, are you guys going to attack us tonight? Yes, we're actually going to attack you at 8 o'clock. Shit. But that's noble. That is noble. And that's better than this type of fucked up

backstabbing, betraying type of war we have nowadays. True. Where everything is on social media. And everyone is doing it. All the soldiers are posting plans for attention. I kind of can't believe that people used to fight wars by walking in a line at each other. I just don't believe it.

I don't believe the paintings. That just can't be true. It has to all look like... There used to be chivalry. Yeah. It used to be... That was... Like, what was that movie?

The Patriot with Mel Gibson where they're all walking in a fucking line. I don't fucking... I don't know either. Had to watch that in school as a kid. They used to... It used to be knights who would just run at each other on the horses.

Yeah. And then so they thought, well... You gotta do that with guns now. Yeah, well, we don't use horses anymore because you can't aim a gun on a horse. That's crazy. crazy to think that they were like, even both sides were like, we need this to, I mean, it has to at least be fair. Like, no, you have to decimate them completely. No, it needs to be

fair. I don't think it's completely decimate them. I think that the next step in warfare is we take all the drones and the planes and we fly them in a line at each other. I've said this forever that war should be two robots fighting each other and you just sign a contract that says whoever wins, yeah, not we lose. It should be champion, you choose your champion like a fantasy movie. That literally, nobody should be dying in war. We are so past that. It should be two planes flying at each other.

And then also we save so much money. You just make one really good plane. Exactly. The war can be so quick. Yeah. And whoever, obviously the bigger, just like right now, the bigger countries have the bigger, better armies. The U.S.

is going to have the most tricked out fucking robot. Yeah, turned invisible. And that's it. Need electrical robots. Yeah. We need zords. Zords. We need zoned.

Zoids. Oh, zoids. Zoyds. Or swords. Guards are power rangers. Yeah. No, we need zoids. We need zoids more than zords.

We need robot bears and stuff to run at each other and swipe each other. Oh my God, that would be so cool. Have you guys ever see that movie of Robot Jocks? No. No, it sounds really funny. That sounds like death punk. They'd fight with big robots at each other. In the entire war?

I think it's a war. I can't really remember, but it's all stop motion robots. That's what I want to see. I want to see less people passing away in foreign countries. And I want to see robots. I want to have the folded flag delivered to a factory. Don't be crying for help when your decision about war

actually makes AI even angrier. Yeah. Why would it be angry? Because AI and robots are the ones perishing. But I don't give a shit about them. Oh, I'm saying. Don't come crying to me. Did you guys see the footage? There's another video I saw of the police officer

responding to the UFO call where the people said that a UFO landed in their backyard. I think my mom. There was two eight-foot aliens walking around their backyard. No, I didn't see that. It's over. I don't think that's real. It's over.

I think that's all AI. I think that's an AI video that's being sent around. It's not. It was on the news. I think the news was AI, too. That's bullshit. I think that the aliens are AI, and I think that it was all CG. It's over.

They've already won. I don't think that if an alien, if an alien came here, I think that we would have the wherewithal to beat the crap out of it by like showing it different kinds of sodas and like showing it like that would beat the crap out of it I don't think an alien could

ingest diet coke I don't think an alien could ingest Diet Dr. Pepper would drink it I think if an alien drank Diet Dr. Pepper something one of the chemicals in it would have a negative reaction

but you think the alien would drink it when it got here? Yes we would say we would hand a diet Dr. Pepper to the alien

we'd say hey I think this is what we drink every day the only explanation for why we

see so few aliens is that there is probably only like 25 of them yeah and they're from

a very small little big planet style planet it's like Hawaii yeah they're from

like a like a Mario galaxy planet and then they just come here it's Delphino Plaza Yeah, yeah, it's the guys from that.

What are they called? I think they're called Dolphinos. Well, I jump on their head no matter what they're called. And they go blah blah. Yeah. But basically, I think that they're, the only explanation is only like 25. And they're not bringing it, they're not. Smart.

They're not hitting us with any kind of artillery because they know that. Yeah. Oh, no. They're eight feet tall, man. They could live. We were just talking. You were like, there's 100 guys who are eight feet tall. Yeah.

You literally just said that earlier. But they look alarming. People have gray alien DNA I always say really tall people do look bad They look fucked up and not There's people who here on earth Who are not human 100%

Let's just go out Let's list them I don't mean I don't know them But you see them sometimes You know one of them maybe Don't think I know any of them You don't think you don't know if you know Is the problem? That is the problem

Yeah Because a lot of them have used gene therapy and they look a little more similar. They're doing gene therapy. They're wearing jeans so you don't think they're a fucking alien. Exactly. Retail therapy. Yeah.

They're walking around jeans. They'll be wearing this outfit. What are those 501s? Anya Taylor Joy. Uh-huh. She's just ugly. She's not an alien. That's what she wants you to think.

She wants you to think she's ugly. I think she's ugly. But in actuality, she's not a... I watched this new HBO show. I watched the first episode. The Idol? I was mostly doing the crossword. but I had it on

the idol of that one? Yeah. The one with this show is pornography and it needs to be that's the new euphoria. It's by the same guy. It's worse than pornography.

It's the weekend and he's fingering her and stuff on the show. Everybody's fingering there's nipples about. Oh my God, there's too much fingering on the show. I don't like it at all, man. It really is just not. It should not be on TV.

I saw a clip and she is one of the worst actresses I think I've ever seen. She's only around because of like literally it's stupid to complain about it, but genuinely hit it. I think she's only around because her dad is Jack Sparrow.

I agree. I think if she wasn't around, I think you'd be the star that show. I would definitely be this. Are you kidding me? I think the weekend. Wait, watch this. Watch this. The weekend would be braiding your butt hair. Watch this. Watch this. this is not that's the kind of faces she makes in the show what's the type of face describe it

it's a teeth out teeth out smile smile like this that is not teeth out smile i watch the show she doesn't make that face man and she she blinks her eyelashes at the weekend and it goes like don't you guys think it's kind of fucked up and scary that when an actor is walking around in his daily life or her daily life yeah they could they literally have been trained to do whatever and act like whatever person so it's like we don't know if they're acting right now

if they even need to be shopping man you just you just I mean you see them at a red carpet and they're flashing a smile teeth out and then you think well hold on I saw them do teeth out smile on that one movie are they even happy are they even enjoying they are not enjoying it

can you imagine I think all the time of what if you were married to an actor Most actors do not enjoy their life. They were crying. There you go. Shut the fuck up. I know you're fucking faking. I saw you cry. You're researching a role.

That was a curb your enthusiasm episode. You're researching a role. Exactly. That's why you didn't do the dishes. Well, that was actually she was a paid crier. That's even worse. That's even worse. I think that's the future of acting is we're not going to, we're going to specialize

further. We're going to have actors who, it's not like one person who can act and play whatever role. It's like, this is a laugher. This is a smileer. This is a sad actor. And then when they cross over. And then they can get really, really good at it. So they don't, because, like, nowadays, actors are bad because it's like, well, I have

to learn to smile. I have to learn to act crazy. You don't only know free thing. I have to learn how to make. Everything suffers if you have to. Absolutely. I have to learn how to make my smile into a frown. Exactly.

The transitions between them, it's rough. And that's a lot of muscles. But a guy who just smiles and he's 10,000 hours or as hours of smiling. Yeah. 10,000 hours of smiling. 10,000 hours of smiling. But then also, when the smiling guy moves over to crying, it'll be like Adam Sandler doing a dramatic role.

Right, but that would never happen. Holy fucking shit. The unions would not let that happen. Yeah. True. And when this deal gets finished, Smilers will never cry. We need to get rid of every union on this planet.

Oh, yeah. They ruined fucking everything. They ruined Smiler. The Smiler's Union. Because you're right. Every single thing would have a specialized union and they all asked to be paid a million dollars a fucking minute. I'm fucking sick of paying my views.

You can't say. Anything sad when you're on the The sitting down union, the standing up union. See, yeah, every, oh my God. The Smiler's Union sucks so bad. Maybe this is the future of movies where a character can be a group of actors and a character is five people.

And they walk around together. There's one guy who sits down when the character sits down. There's one guy who smiles when the character's happy. One guy who frowns when the character is said. I can't tell people apart. I'm not going to notice. Yeah.

But no, it's not that they're switching them out as they're always together. And the group of them as one is the character. Oh, well, we're probably headed that way with people, too, because people are going to do monkey see, monkey do, and they're going to copy. Crying Steve. Yeah. Well, it's just like they're different. It's like inside out, but in real life.

Yeah. The real life of a movie. Outside, inside. There's going to be Smilers East and vomit. That's a bad union to be in. Vomiters union. But, you know, that way, a smiler will never have to vomit in a movie again. That's true.

That's the people who just want to be... I mean, Lord knows there are people who like that type of thing. Can you imagine those smiles? I don't even want to bring it up. But the people who like vomiting, that's all they have to do. Imagine having to pay your dues to the Vomiters Union. I mean, it'd probably just be like every other union. 100 pukes a month.

I don't think you would pay and puke. I think you would pay and puke. Why would you pay and puke? Because we're envisioning a new world here. We don't have to be bound by the restrictions that bind us right now. We had a good idea. And you guys are turning it into a fucking bullshit fuck-a-thon. It's not a bullshit fuck-a-thon to think that possibly like that to me.

A porn actor and a normal actor would almost never cross paths. So basically, it's already, our idea is already true. You can make a, you can make the jump. There's sexual actors and non-sexual actors already. You can make the jump like the lady from boy. And they never jump. They jump all the time. There was a jumper in euphoria.

There was a jumper in, uh, I don't think. Hayden Christensen was a porn actor, I don't think. He will, he did a lot of CGI porn. What do you mean CGI? Oh, I think you were just talking about jumping. No, oh, well, that would be another kind of. Yeah, that would be. I think you're talking about a jumpers.

Jumpers. I didn't realize that the conversation was about jumping from. I've seen so many amazing videos this week. I also saw the video of Tom Cruise doing his jump. Did you watch this? No. I've got to see that video. It was so awesome, man.

You pull up that video. I always watch it. It's 101, y'all. You pull up that video. Did you see? Did you see, don't watch the video? Did you see that Mission Impossible, Dead Reckoning, part one, will only have one week in IMAX before it is pushed out by Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer.

Who gives a F about Oppenheimer? Nobody even knows who that was, bro. Give Mission Impossible at least three weeks in IMAX. If not more. Here's the thing, Christopher Nolan. It needs IMAX more than Oppenheimer needs IMAX. Nolan, right now, I need you. I need you.

Stop it. I need you to stop what you're doing. Stop making this movie about nuclear war. Nuclear bore. Nuclear bore is what I'm calling it. And also it's in black and white. Black and white. No, it's only partially in black and white.

Hey, hey, Christopher Nolan. You know who did that first? Pleasantville, Toby McGuire, Spider-Man. Think about it. I don't think they're copying Spider-Man and Wizard of Oz and any other movie that's gone from Black and White. Wizard of Oz was Sepia. so sepia that's different

sepia shut the fuck up that's a sepia movie tour with color movie I'm gonna make you sepia you're not gonna be orange I'm gonna make you sipia on some scissors

sip ya I'm gonna get you high sip your sperm I'm not gonna sip your sperm sip your sperm sip your sperm sip your sperm my sperm

meow sip my sperm I don't think I've ever heard that song at this point you've heard probably not smack my bitch out. I don't think I have either.

I've definitely, I know it. I have it in my head. I've listened to it in my head hundreds of times. I've never seen Charlie's. I used to love that movie. Yeah, it's the fight scene between Christopher, Chris Ben Glover and Lucy Lou is they play that song. Tom Green is in that. And he falls in a tube. See, that guy should not, in my vision of Hollywood, that guy would never be in an action movie. A hundred percent. Tom Green? Yeah. He's in an action movie. I don't like when comedians cross over and never would be in my vision of Hollywood.

What are you not understanding? Freddy got fingered was an action movie. Shut up. Oh, it wasn't. Shut up. Well, he does skateboarding. He did actions. That's another thing. There would be no skateboarding in any movies.

No, no, no, no. That would be strictly for YouTube videos. And chimpanzees. And chimpanzees who go on a mini ramp. And bulldogs also. Bulldogs, yeah. Virals. That would be only for viral Hollywood.

Yeah. I'm making a new sector of Hollywood called viral wood to try and because a lot of these viral videos nowadays are not as good as the ones we used to have. So I'd like to maybe section off and divide, get some of these producers, directors, actors, get them out of movies, out of the movie industry, and just working on getting better viral videos. We get to see. And also there should be a union for us who like to make viral videos. Yeah. We get Numa Numa guy. We get Tezonday.

Well, they would be like the dramatic chipmong. the union. Dramatic shipmunk has died many years ago. Do you have to say it that meanly? I'm sorry. Years and years ago, like way before you even saw the video. That's a death.

You're saying it so flippantly. I'm sorry. I don't know. That's horrible. I mean, I guess you're right. He's just finding this out right now and you said it like that? yeah i mean there's nothing to be done for him he's done and dusted he's in the dirt

yep he's gone man since when since probably 1991 or something i don't even know how old that video is it's older than the internet though what's that that dramatic chipmunk has passed oh it says probably and that's on our slash shower thoughts and that was so that's fine that means he's Okay. A chipmunk doesn't live very long. I would guess it's not a chipmunk. It wasn't even a chipmunk. He was a prairie dog.

Dear God. Well, a prairie dog probably lives even less time than a chipmunk. No, it lives more. I think he's still alive. I think he's a good chance he's still alive. There's no chance. If there's one prairie dog in the world who's been alive, it might be him because he has a reason to be preserved.

He's dead. He's not. It says 2007. And also, I hate to ruin this for you guys. he wasn't even being dramatic he probably just saw some food what he was not trying to be dramatic he doesn't know what drama means

I thought he's being funny he doesn't know what being funny is he's an animal he doesn't know it being funny he has no idea what that is to be funny well you know people I just don't understand

and by the way if you have a dog and it licks your face it just wants to it means you have a fucking salty face if you were wondering And if you have a cat that sucks on your finger, I never had a cat. It means you finger, you know, funny, your finger taste. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what it means.

I'm not a veterinarian. Yeah. Yeah, you are a veterinarian. I couldn't be a veterinarian. You have to kill every single animal. It's so funny that being a veterinarian, your entire job is killing as many. Even when you're not killing them, when you save them, it's that you have to cut them apart. Yeah, take your legs off.

and then you put them in that thing. It's always someone who's like, I love animals. I want to be a veterinarian. You think you torture animals all day. Or whatever it's called. Yeah, you're doing experiments on animals. You're like intern or whatever. I think at that point, you just have to.

That's literally what it is. Yeah. I mean, I told you that a friend who wanted to be who came a veterinary assistant, first day killing dogs. Yeah. You think back in the day, like back in the 1800s or I mean, honestly, the 1950s, like a veterinarian when they like, they brought, somebody brings their dog in and the dog dies, they like,

Like, well, you know, I don't, might as well make it into lunch. No, because you don't think they ate dogs in the 1950s. You don't think, you don't think that they... You don't think that they picked it up and just, like, threw it on a grill. In the 1950s? Yeah. What do you think, well, are you, the 1950s had refrigerators? 1950s is a backwards-ass time, bro.

For, not for animals. It was actually better for animals. It was in a factory farming. Well, not a factory animal. They didn't invent leashes much yet. People were walking. Dogs had their own houses. That's true.

They would just go in. Well, they'd just run around. That's what my dad. My dad always says. That's one of the things he says, if you ever hang out with my dad, I'll say it at least one time, which is he says, you know, dogs just used to roam around. They weren't fenced in or on leashes or anything. They just go all over the place. Well, it's probably for the best.

He's just lying. It's not lying. I mean, back when, when, when, not when he was a kid, not in the 70s and 80s. yeah nobody was 60s and 70s yeah you dad's that old yeah yeah that was probably that was that was probably because he lived in like a small ass neighborhood lived in Cambridge oh my god that was not a small ass neighborhood oh my god it was actually a big ass neighborhood oh my god that was actually one of the biggest developing neighborhoods he said kids would just get chased by dogs and you'd know which dogs lived where so at certain

times of day you wouldn't walk by a certain house i don't believe it until i see it on a fucking cave wall you see it on tv shows Fuck you, I do. That's always in a movie. A kid gets chased by a dog. Yeah, they would show that in like Malcolm in the middle of shit. And it was like, oh, is that because he lives in a crazy neighborhood? No, that's how it used to be.

The, I say, you know, that's old. It was like that back then here. It's like that right now in India. Just like you know. And in Mexico. Yeah. There are many places. They are having a war in India between monkeys and dogs.

There's dogs everywhere in Mexico. I went and I saw them. Yeah, you're tripping. Maybe not in your little food from the last. I guess you live, because you live, you're gentrifying Mexico. You are. You live in a fancy neighborhood. Oh, nothing to say now.

That's not true. That's not true. Because he's in the 1%. As the 1% always is silent. But there was a, there's like a war between. Yeah, the monkeys are throwing dogs off of towers. Monkeys are throwing dogs out towers and then dogs were biting monkeys. Yeah.

That sucks. I think all the time about if my dog had opposable thunds. and could articulate, fully articulating arms, that he would be doing way, he would have a way different life. Yeah. If he had his brain in a monkey's body, you're lucky you can't jump up on the counter.

If a ball goes under the table, he barks at it because I have to come get it because he can't do anything. If I had a dog and he learned to speak, and I would have to kill him instantly. I would be teaching him. Because imagine you come home to your dog and you open the door and he runs up and he goes,

I love you. where he walks in and you were whacking off. I love you. What are you doing in there? What are you doing in there? That's not all he knows. He would only say, I love you. You're trying to jack off the other room.

He would walk up to you and you're jacking off and he'd say, I love living here. I like my food. Shut up, dog. My dog could speak. I'd be teaching it like fucking henny. If I'd be teaching him Henny Youngman joke. So we'd go on tour. Yeah.

He'd be, I'd be giving him. holding him. I'd be holding him like this on stage and I'd be like like a little ventralquist I'd make him say take my bone please take my bone please take my leash I don't need that I think if I think if my dog could talk I'd fall in love with him yeah

I think I would get you would immediately no I like my dog too much I can't go to try and suck it off no it not wouldn't be sexual but I think I would have an emotion I would emotionally cheat on my wife with my dog yeah or no I wouldn't what's that mean emotional

cheating. Yeah. It's like when there's a girl at work and you go like I'm thinking of fucking you but I... I guess I do that to your dog.

They're not fucking but I would be like I am in love with you dog. I'm in I'm so... Is that and more in a way that was different from it being a child? You'd be doing it romantically.

It's hairy. That's what makes you... What if you like what if like your dog learned to speak, right? and you're sitting there one day, you're just watching the news or whatever, and he walks up to you,

and he's like, by the way, my name is not Phil. Yeah, he would say that. That's the first thing you would say. My name is Mark. No, you know what he would say? He would be like, I could try to tell you this whole time.

My name is Mark. Yeah. He would say, my name cannot be pronounced in your language. Yeah. It sounds like this. Yeah. I would name my dog.

Eminem. You would name him? I would feed my dog. Did I ever tell you what his original name was? when I got him. Yeah. His entire litter was named

after the Enkanto. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And his was Augustine. Yeah. That's cool. It's not cool. I'm so glad we changed it.

What's the other incontas? I don't know. That seems like maybe a good one. I mean, I haven't either. I don't know. Augustine to a dog. But what were the other dog's names? You must know at least one or two of them.

They all got changed. One of them's name is flippy. But I just wanted to know. Ruggy or some shit. Ruggy? I don't know. I can tell you.

I'm in a group chat with all the people. That was pretty close to clip. I was curious if that's a good Enkanto name or a bad one, I guess. But I don't think that, I guess that doesn't matter. And the group chat is called Enkanto family. There's Charlie. These are not the original names. These are what they got changed to.

Yeah, these are new ones. There's Charlie. There's Mel. Mel. There's Bruno. Bruno stayed the same. There's Dugan. I think that one is actually original.

Dugan. Dugan Nash. Let's see, Mel, Dugan. Phil, Rudy. This is the only people who are active. I never posting this shit, dude. Can you send a pick right now? Tracy.

What if we have a play date? What do you mean? Do you think people would think it was weird to see a picture of me? Yes, they're going to think. Wait, what if you put on a picture? You say, Phil is having an amazing day. What if you put the dog filter on them?

Sorry, wrong. Send a picture. Yeah, send a picture of me and say like, well, even just say something like he's taking. taking care of Phil today. So excited. Okay. Got this guy taking care of Phil today.

He's so excited. My brother, I say my brother is taking care of Phil today. He's so excited. These pups are a blessing. These pups are a blessing. See, that's just nice. And now you're going to have a better relationship with this, bro.

I was thinking... There's 20 people in this group. Nobody's going to respond. Oh, my God. Somebody's going to heart react it. Yeah, hopefully. I'm going to leave it. Let's see.

Someone's not going to thumbs it up. You got two minutes. I said this. Wait, they named it Charlie, like Charlie XXX? I mean, just no E. Oh, my God. One minute in, no likes. It's one minute.

It's Facebook. It's Facebook. It's not Facebook. It's not. Oh, I thought it was Facebook. No, it's text messages. Damn, Cameron. I have all these people's numbers.

All right, it's completely over. I'm telling you, you should have put the dog filter on him and said, look at how big Phil has gotten. Jubeo wants me to send this photo. That would be weird, though. Phil taking a shit. So I do the GoPro. Why does he shit like that? Oh, my God.

Dude, he literally, I remember I told you what he looked like. No fucking responses. You're making me look like a dickhead. No, it's not me. Phil looks like the night stock is from New Vegas. It's so funny. You look weird. No, you wrote the message weird.

I'm telling you, you should have put a filter on him. That would have made no fucking sense. You should have been in black and white. With like, wish him luck or something like that. Then people would be like, oh, M.G, good luck. You should have, you should have. You should have put it in black and white or something. You should have put it in like a crazy.

You should have set the picture of me on all fours. Now my wife's going to be so mad at me, dude. I'm going to get a call. I'm going to get a call. Oh, I auto woke my phone, but I thought I got a notification. Nobody gets a phone. I flopped in the Enkanto family group chat, man. I've never fucking flopped in there.

Every fucking time I send a message, heart react, smile react, exclamation point. What the fuck you did this to me? You've made him a pariah. Now I'm the IMD. You should unsend it. right now. I am a pariah. You are a fucking pariah, bro. How do you unsend something? Don't, don't teach him. He has to live with his flop.

More. You should send it an invisible thing. Do I just delete it? No, that just deletes it from your end. How do I do it? You can't unsend it, bro. You didn't update your phone. I shit! Yeah. That sucks for you, man. Dude, I am going to get cooked. Just send another one and say, JK, he took my phone. That's, it's obvious somebody else took the photo.

He took my phone and took a selfie. Both your hands are out. I'm not doing that, man. You were ruining my reputation. Dude, I just know the next playday we have. Oh, snap. My friend took my phone. Just say that.

We're going to be sitting there. Phil's going to be playing with Ruby and or Dugan and Yuki and Charlie. And one of the guys is going to be like, so. How's your brother? How's your brother doing? How did he fare with Phil? And I'll go, what? And he's like, your brother.

He took care of Phil. I go, oh, man, it was amazing. Yeah, he did an amazing job. That would mean that he remembered. Yeah. And that was, it was not a flop. But you're putting me in a, in a situation where I have to lie to some of the closest people in my life. I didn't say that.

Yeah. But you also aren't taking care of Phil. So? You made me lie. I've taken care of Phil before. But you're not today. And also. Well, now he has to.

You, oh my God. We go get snow cones. I even cushioned it was by saying these pups are a blessing. Why did you say that? I thought that they would come across. as more because it's just kind of weird that honestly ruined it that is not ruin it that did you ruined it a little bit that's a weird thing to say should I just send another message clarification I'm so sorry guys I mean guys I'm so sorry I didn't mean to send

guys guys that was an accident I didn't mean to send I'm not doing that I'm not sending another message I'm just going to see if people nobody's going to respond it's going to be days and somebody's going to be like yuki got had an amazing place play with a that's the kind of things they send in there they just send when their dogs

have a play with another dog pretty here I'll then why do you care about flopping because I don't want to flop bro

Charlie did not want to go for a walk last night and apparently she takes after me and the light was too bright for her

as she was trying to sleep so the way okay now I take it back and actually what you said is what you sent is completely normal

yeah Dugin loves the sprinkler yeah this is you never Dugan loves a sprinkler. Never saw a dog play at a sprinkler before.

Wow. People are fucking morons. That's mean? No, they're actually very sweet people. They're your best friends. Not sweet enough to throw a thumbs up. Yeah. I think that maybe they think you're being facetious.

Oh, God. Rudy was attacked by an off-leash dog while out on a walk this past Friday. Oh, my God. Could have been worse, but his gums were ripped off his jaw. What is my God? What is that mean? Oh, that's how you do. save it later tonight say oh somebody heart reacted yep that's right who did it oh it was the

lady who fostered them all nice so here's how you save it text from the wife stop don't prank it's over for me no no here's how you save it here's how you salvage it later tonight send a picture of yourself crying say oh m.g while my brother was watching phil my brother died Just hands in my head, a self-timer photo sitting on the bed in my underwear, my hands in my head. My fucking brother died, Phil ate him. Oh, it's a kid. Phil dragged him into the street. Phil dragged him for miles by his neck.

All right. I have to hand. I need to make some calls. I have to go. I can't. Wait, show the pick first. The pick of cam. Yeah, we have to, we have to get a.

Oh, and what day did we choose for the shareholder meeting is June. This is one. T. This is the photo. ruining my life right now. June 23rd is the shareholder meeting. And as always, until the 14th, we will be plugging the sketch show

with... Slidecoop.com slash shows. July 14th. Home planet and appears a Campion. And it's all of us. Outer Spatian Station. Go watch that. Go watch it now. All right. Bye, motherfuckers.

Bye, bye. exiled to an island Elba? No. Yeah, he was exiled. He spent like the last like 20 years of his life just sitting in a, what are you doing? Yeah, Napoleon spent the last, he was owning for quite some time.

And then he spent the last, that's a great way to go out. He was in time out. I heard that they sent him to Idaho. I think that he was probably on the island the whole time, though, and I think he was probably just like, fuck.

They sent Napoleon to Idaho, and then he did a dance in front of his whole school and won Pedro the election. That was what I heard. through his shirt and dancing his shirt said vote for Pedro

I mean what do you want me to what do you I don't know maybe he could talk more about the movie that I'm referencing yeah his uncle played

had a football yeah there you're now you're getting it and wait wait wait and his brother tried to do time or went didn't try to do time travel. His brother had a girlfriend. Yeah. And what was her name?

Clifford. No, it wasn't, it was. I don't know. It starts with an L. Come on. You got this. Lisa. La La Landa. Her name was La Fonda. And that's right. His grandma or aunt or whoever that is. That's their aunt. She, do you think that you could do something bad enough in today's world that you get fully exiled to an island? I think you just get killed. And you don't just go, yeah, you don't either. What do you think you could do where they're like you need to go to an island? Now the people who are doing the bad stuff, now the people that are doing the stuff that could get them exiled, actually like to have their own little private islands where they can go do that shit.

Oh my god. Now the island, that's true. Now the island is a prize. What they need to do, they need to take, you have to live with a thousand other people. Yeah, you got to put these guys in a tiny home in the middle of, you have to live in a brownstone, yeah, with eight other people.

You have to have brothers and sisters. A co-op, you have to have cheaper by the dozen style lifestyle. We're giving you, we're making your parents have sex and we're looking you have a bunch of brothers and sisters. And you're watching the sex happen. 101. 101.