Podcast About List - UNLOCKED: Premium #20: Podcast at da End of da World Part 3/4

Episode Date: May 27, 2020

Patrick and Cameron had diarrhea this week from eating eachothers diarrhea so I heroicly unlocked a premium. More at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. This is premium content. If you are not a premium subscriber, please pause now and purchase a premium membership immediately. Episode three. Episode three. Episode three of the podcast, of the marathon. Mm-hmm. Of the, yeah, the podcast about list, COVID.

COVID list. COVID-tacular. COVID list. It is a festival that we're having. Yeah. Yeah, no phones, Patrick COVID-Polosa. It's a premium.

I can't be on my phone. No, you can't. I'm reading the news. Put your phone back under the couch. Put your phone back under the couch. US considered cash stimulus as global cases passed.

Cameron, we might be getting a cash stimulus. I'm telling you. This is the one of your fucking asshole if you don't put that phone away. Yeah, with dollars. With J. Wentworth is trending. I'm going to put sharpened coins up into you.

Yeah, this is the one where we, where we give all of our thoughts on this thing. Exit the gungeon is Trengin. Trenjin? Exit the gungeon? Is that a new one? That's, yeah, they just announced a sequel. Oh.

Oh, so you guys want me to put my phone away. Shut up! Yeah, put your phone away. I did not know that you were going to talk about games. Yeah. If you're talking about games, you can do whatever you want. I was going to talk about games the whole time. If you turn on G4, we'll just watch TV right now.

Mm-hmm. We could do a watch along to... I honestly feel like 15 years ago we could have had a show G4 pretty easy. Don't turn the TV on. We could do a watch along to... Combat Tai Chi. Combat Tai Chi with Richard Clear.

I thought Tai Chi was like a thing fat people do in white clothes. Don't open the dude. Don't... Open it. Look what you did. You told him you could watch stuff. Oh, he can't watch it.

Hold on. Look at this fucked up DVD. Whoa. Somebody's briding the hog outside. That's the mad max starting. That might be the guy on the hog who listens to Steve Miller band all the time. That's a cool combo.

Oh, it's a couple DVDs. If you're on a motorcycle, especially Harley Davidson, I don't care what you're listening to. I will suck you and fuck you. But I just imagine that you're listening to like a, like a lime wire playlist that's just highway to hell over over it. I'm not going to smell a DVD. Patrick is literally, Patrick is the weird kid. He really is, dude. Smell it.

He doesn't wear shoes. He says, he brings me things in my face and says, smell it. dude, you should be in detention right now. Dude, do you fucking smell that thing? I'm no. That smells like it would kill the Chinese child. I'm... What the one?

No, I'm not thinking about. I'm not thinking about. I believe you. I'm not going to smell the DVD. It, no, just say more, just say more funny things about what it smells like and don't make us smell it. Yeah. Keep smelling it yourself.

It smells like bean boozzled. Dude, that's straight up. That smells like a beanboozled flavor. Patrick, you're going to smell it one more time. DVD. Yeah. Bean boozle flavor that one is DVD and the other is stinky DVD? Yeah, which one is it?

All right, I smell it. Yeah, come on. Okay, I smell it. It smells like how a switch cartridge tastes. It doesn't smell it bad, dude. It smells like, I feel like, I mean, okay, to be fair, this is my first time ever smelling a DVD. They could, no, it's the plastic case. Open another DVD.

Hold on, let me open up. Krav Maghah, the Israeli connection. Open Kravagavagad. It doesn't smell bad. It smells like rubber. It doesn't smell like rubber. Oh yeah, it just smells like industrial.

It just smells like a weird plastic thing. Yeah, it doesn't smell it. But this is not unreasonable for like a shitty DVD to smell like that. Do you know? I mean, I don't know that. I've never smelled a DVD before. Also, yeah, I feel like the Israeli Krav Maga connection is not a fair control group.

I think this is also going to smell crazy. No, this one smells normal. What do you mean normal? It sounds like strawberry. It smells like a normal DVD. No, this smells exactly the same. That does not smell exactly the same. It smells the same.

It's not as strong. It's the same smell. Yeah. Open another DVD. Open a different DVD, a non-combat arts DVD. This is exactly how the virus started. Somebody was sniffing DVDs and caught something. No smell.

No smell at all. What DVD is this? That's brass eye. This is from the UK. Yeah, they have different smells over there. It's a completely different smell. I wouldn't say there's no smell. It's definitely different smell.

that's all I'm saying this one's yeah it smells different I guess it smells like it smells normal my head is hurting I think I'm I think I'm high this one

this one's check it out with Dr. It's gonna smell all of Patrick's DVDs no smell this episode no smell at all let me smell this yeah this one has the least

smell so far I think okay I think I've discovered what it is It has to do... I can, like, taste that in my mouth. Maybe it's the sooner you open it. It's the new DVD smell. I think that is a new DVD smell.

No. Which is the old? Which is older? Brass Eye or Steve Ruhl? Steve Ruhl. I knew it. And Steve Rule smells the least. Yeah.

It's, yeah, it's new DVD smell. You know what? That could be. That could be. But no, because this one was unsealed and we opened it and it smelled less bad as this one, which was open. You keep saying unsealed when you mean sealed. I fuck off. This one didn't.

smell as bad. Exactly, and we just opened that one, and it smelled... It's... No, I mean, this one smelled worse, this one didn't smell as bad. Wait, okay, give me these two. Okay. And when did you open Combat Tai Chi? Never opened it. That one came...

That came unsealed. Yeah, but I bet nobody had ever opened the box before. No, my grandpa John did. Well, he did that to that. He did something to that DVD. That's what I'm saying. I think he did something to the DVD. I think they smell pretty equally bad.

I think combat, I'll admit that combat tachis is a bit stronger. No, smell them both again back to back. Okay, hold on. Will you hold this like a boom mic so you can get my reaction? Yeah. Okay, I'm opening. Oh, we should do a blind test. Okay, wait, wait, hold the mic and close your eyes.

No, don't pause it. Don't, just close your eyes. Well, now he knows which ones. No, no, no, he's closing his eyes and I'm shuffling them up. Okay, let's see if I can tell which one is combat Tai Chi. All right. Okay, I'm going to make it. Now keep your eyes.

I'm going to give him this. Don't say it. Don't say it. I won't say it afterward. Yeah, Cameron's giving him a DVD right now. A first DVD. Smell. Okay, you smelled it?

All right, are you ready for the other DVD? Yeah. All right, we're giving him the other DVD. Smell. Okay, now which do you think is combat Tai Chi? The first one. You're right. Yeah.

See? It has a fucking distinct smell and it has a weird. All right, all right. Let's try. Let's do this with, now you have to. do it camera because i know that patrick will pass all right yeah i don't know i think i have a pretty weak sense of smell in general but i'll try it all right because your eyes are closed all right i'm gonna give you one DVD now okay all right okay he's giving him the DVD smell okay okay

okay okay now the second DVD okay um can i open my eyes I think the second one is combat Tai Chi. You were right. See? It has a fucking distinct smell. I'm not wrong about this. But it's the same. I could tell it was Combat Tai Chi because it was a stronger smell.

But it's the same smell, but it's just in different intensities. It's a matter of magnitude. Yeah. Okay. So I admit it might not be a new DVD smell because Tai Chi is older, but it smells stronger. Yeah. It's kind of the uglier the guy on the thing is. The stinkier the DVD is.

Post pictures of these DVD. It's funny that what I love about this one is, Like, if you just showed me the picture and there was no text, this is exactly what... It looks like a video. It looks like a PS4 character. If you showed me just the picture of this guy and said, name this DVD, I would have called it Krav Magad, the Israeli connection. Just based on his general... Which is exactly what it's called.

His general face and look and the fact that there's spikes behind him. Yeah. Spikes behind him? All I'm saying is that that DVD has a very harsh plastic smell and it's strange. Yeah. yes yeah but i also don't i don't think it also isn't necessarily like a bad smell to me i hate i don't like it i think yeah i think if you breathe if you breathe that in for more than one sniff if that smell was in your room you would not stay in your room they're from the same they're from

the same company imagine the the smell of the company of the company yeah imagine what the CEO would smell like yeah he he he kisses every single DVD where they're making the plastic factory where they're making a plastic man it's got to be fucked up dude yeah that's all I'm saying let's try a video game yeah wait get out a now switch game we already know

that's going to smell fucked up so get the non-switch game do switch games smell fucked up they taste fucked up so I'd assume they'd smell fucked up see there's no this is a copy of skate two with the avatar in it okay so this is not that's corrupted yeah this isn't that's a bad sample that's a DVD inside

a video game case we gotta be scientific about this. Yeah, that's going to, no matter what, smell like shit. I don't know what. Just pick a video game. Here's an unsealed copy. A sealed copy of Paul Blart Mallcock. Okay. Yeah, well, you can see if this smell once it's weird. Yeah, so, okay.

Is it the new DVD smell? Is it a new DVD smell? Is it a new DVD smell? Is it what we'll figure out? Or is it just the martial art DVD smell? Every martial art. We should smell the stinger. Every episode that we record today is just going to get more and more on like this. Just doing things Yeah

Oh my god No this is a new smell His eyes open so wide You look like a mere cat who saw a lion Yeah You look like you just like You acquire Now we got to test this against the Tichite

You look like you acquired dark knowledge You look like an HP lovecraft That's a different smell I can't smell it I don't know if I smell anything on this one All right I'm going in Yeah do it

That one smells darker It smells darker This is like a What year did this movie come out? I don't know 2008 No yeah 2008 because my uncle saw them filming it at the Burlington Mall

When my grandpa was dying in the hospital This smells like 2008. Let me try it again. It has such a... It smells like a new golden corral. Oh, okay. I can't smell this one.

You don't smell that? I don't smell anything on this one. Okay, here... This is the Yanny versus Laurel of smells. There is a, I will say, there's a twist to this one. Yeah. You turn it around, eco-friendly packaging. Oh, my God.

That's, okay, that's a fucking... Plastic case is just 20% less material. That's a fucking variable. 30% post-consumering. her waist paper. All right. So, that doesn't count. Yeah. This is an outlier. Yeah. It smells like a new vegetable. Like a vegetable

Dr. Seuss would invent. Yeah. That's what it smells like. Like a needle. Yeah. Yeah. It smells like a clumble. A clumble or a needle. Yeah. Do you get another DVD? Right, let me get another DVD. This is always what I wanted the Patreon episodes to be like. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a copy of Cosmopolis? Cosmopolis. What that? That's a Greek. guy's last name. That's the last name of the character he plays in a good time. That's my downstairs neighbor who's a pro soccer player. His name, George Cosmopolis. Georgios.

But his real name is Eleftherios, but he goes by George. Okay. I can't tell that one. All right. Was this one new or not? No, that's not new. I've watched it already. A very slight.

I think it has a very slight weird plastic smell. So there's ones that Cameron can smell that we can't. I think I just, I don't have a good sense of smell. I will say that. The Tai Chi one left an aftertaste. Oh, that has a smell. Yeah. The Tai Chi one left an aftertaste.

It's kind of similar smell to the Tai Chi one. I would say this is like a sour. This is like the DVD is old. This is David Kronenberg put his slime into this one. That's why it smells like that. This is David Kronenberg's slime movie. This is actually the least... This does smell a little sour.

It smells a little sour. It's a pretty good. You just did Griffin McElroy voice, dude. It's a pretty good movie. I haven't seen it yet. Along with the smell, it's a pretty good movie. Yeah, this one's, yeah. This one definitely has a smell.

Paul Giamatti's in it at the end. Let's smell the plastic wrapping from the DVD. Yeah, that's true. We've got to do that, too. Smells. Just, I want somebody, yeah, I want... The Toronto Star called Cosmopolis, a blockbuster of the mind. More like a blockbuster of the nose.

Of the nose. It has some, it has some stank on it. Should start a movie review show or just smell the movies. Okay, I got a... That is such a good idea. I have a real curveball. I'm about to throw up you guys. A Blu-ray?

A Blu-ray of the shape of water. This is going to smell like fish. They put a real fish smell into it. That just smelled like my hand. What does your hand smell like? I don't know. I think they got rid of smells during the when they made blu-rays. That was one of the advances.

This one has a DVD and a Blu-ray in it. This is a DVD-plus Blu-ray copy. I think that's interesting. That's like wine and cheese. This one smells sterile. This one actively smells like nothing. This smells like they tried to remove a smell. Right.

Here's my idea. Yeah. The reason why DVD Blu-ray copies exist, like a combo disc or a combo package, is because there is a DVD smell and there's a Blu-ray smell. And they can't each other out. Okay. All right. This is the smell that Caleb has to close his eyes for. All right.

Close your eyes. Yeah, close your eyes. I'll pass it over. Okay. All right. Take it. Open it up. Do I have to keep your eyes?

Yeah, wait, this is a really good activity. Okay. All right, wait, wait, wait. Let me pass it to Caleb before you smell it. I have to guess what movie this is. And you have to open your eyes mid-smell. Don't open your eyes. No, just smell.

Smell. And then guess. Guess what it is. Just based on that? Yeah. Sleepless in Seattle, final answer. I draw my mic. Take a look.

The UCB. This is the first season of the UCB show. It smells exactly like Matt Bessor's mustache. Yeah. It doesn't even have. have a mustache there. No. But no, now that you said it, I'm looking at the case.

He does have a mustache. I'm looking at the case now, and you said that comment about his arms. Yeah, he's got some freaky issues. Matt Besser looks like a fucked up monkey. He looks like a monkey. He looks like he escaped the zoo and discovered makeup. This, um, there's a very, uh, there's a sketch on this DVD where they do a live show. And, uh, Amy Poehler, uh, plays a Japanese person.

And she ends a sentence by going, she just goes, why not just not Did you get Have you guys seen the I'm sure it's on that DVD the like live ASCat No it's not on this No but you know the one I'm talking about

Where they do like a lot They do like a taped ASCat And it has like the fat guy What's that ASCat? Ascat is like their like version of improv With like a monologue and stuff Oh yeah yeah It's funny because it's from like 2003 or something

But all of the scenes are like I'm a pedophile rapist And you're like a little Chinese kid It's like stuff at the UCB that would never do now. Yeah. It's so funny. Sick. I think I ran out of DVDs.

Well, here, let's get all the DVDs we've smelled so far. Close your eyes, shuffle them up, and try to figure out which is which is which is which is which is witch is. Okay. Oh, my God. This is, like, the Super Bowl for us. This is a, this is a... Which DVD is the stinkiest? We know which DVD is the stinkiest.

Yeah, it's tight sheet. It's tight sheet. Yeah. I don't think we need to do any more than... Well, I want to see if you can identify. I want to find a ranking. Tai Chi and then Kroberga. Richard was number two.

I would say Cosmopolis is number three. Yeah, I agree. And then Paul Blart. And the shape of water is last. Shape of water is nothing. Shape of water doesn't smell anything. And then UCB. You're the only one who smelled UCB.

Oh, yeah. You guys should smell. Oh, it's already gone now. I smelled it. It didn't smell like anything. I would say it has, it does have paper on it. So it smells like paper. But does paper smell?

Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, I think paper is a smell. Well, let's get some paper. Okay. Wait, does shit smell? Well, like, an old book can smell. Oh, it can smell. An old, anything can smell.

Yeah, but a book, like, a old book's got like this smell out. Hold on. Hold on, right there. Copy a Cat's Cradle. It's like a... Oh, that's an old book. Yeah, that's a very old book. Be careful with it.

It's that old. I'm interested to see if this is the same smell as a DVD. Okay. We're testing to see if Kurt Vonne gets Cat's Cradle book. smells like a DVD. But you know what I'm saying? Like a book smell? Like an old book smell?

Yeah, of course. Yeah. It smells like yellow paper. I don't know if it's because my nasal pathways have been corrupted by the Israeli connection. But this doesn't smell like anything to me. Let me smell it. Let me smell it. This looks like the lead singer of the Mighty Mighty Boss Tones. No, this smells like a book.

This has book smell. The guy on the cover of the Israeli. connection looks like the lead singer of Mighty Mighty Boss tones he looks like he's about to sing a ska song he looks like a Bond villain a little bit a little bit yeah I think he looks more like in like a Bollywood version of James Bond he looks a can you put that back up there he looks more like he looks like the guy for mighty but he looks like he's about to sing never had to knock on wood yeah but I know someone who had you know I'm not I'm not from boss I don't know anything about the boss tones boss tones their trombone player went to Emerson

I don't care. They're townies, baby. Yeah, they're townies. You would never get from their name. I've definitely said it, but my uncle paid like $1,000 to go see them open for Dropkick Murphys and then left. Yeah, that's so badass. If you, Dropkick Murphys is doing a live video stream today. Yeah.

We should watch it, dude. Dude, I hate the Dropkick Murphy so much. They suck. It's like punk rock for cops. Yeah. It's like punk rock for cops and like just the most racist man in the world being Bob Shon. What's the name of the better version of them? The Pokes.

No, I'm thinking... Flogging Molly. That's what I'm thinking of. They're like, do the same thing, but they're not... But the Drop-Tick Murphys are like... They had that song for the Red Sox. Yeah. They had Tessie.

Sweet Caroline. No. Yeah, they made Sweet Caroline... Tessie, and then they named the girl mascot. They made that song that goes, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. They made that. Yeah, the game song.

They made... Dan-da-da-da-da-da... Are the drag-kick Murphy's from Boston? If they aren't, that's fucked up. They have to be from Boston. It would be really funny if they aren't. I would like them way more. Whenever I find out, like, a band is, like, posers

and they're making up their background, I like them... I like them so much more. Yeah. Honestly. Like, House of Pain. They're from Los Angeles. And, like, um...

They're Celtic jerseys. I think I remember, okay, this... My dad was really into the front bottoms for a little while. Yeah. Um, and he told me he was listening to like, yeah, dude, it's great. Dad who's in her front bottoms. He, um, he was listening to one of their album commentaries, like, where they talk about the meanings of the songs.

And they have a song that's about, like, uh, the guy's girlfriend getting an abortion. Um, and it's like, everyone's like, this is so deep and great. And on, like, the comment, they like talk about, like, what, why they wrote the songs and stuff. And the guy's just like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know anyone who's gotten abortion. I just thought it was rock and roll. And I was like, oh, I like you guys now.

That's awesome. Dude, that's like, they're like, yeah, none of these stories are true. We just thought it sounded cool. The only example I can think of that is Blinquin 82, how they, like, wrote all of their songs about being 15 when they were, like, 32. Yeah. So great, dude. So sick, dude.

So funny to do that. I love it. And all these songs are like, I fucked a 17-year-old. Josie, you are 14 and I'm 20. Dude, they rock. Yeah. You blinkwin-82 is a great band. Dude, I unashamedly love Blink 1-82.

Yeah, I've been getting back into it. There's just been, like, so much shit that I just like... No, I would never, I would never listen to Blinkwood their album that they put out when I was in the eighth grade. It's not bad. That fucking, what was that album, the fucking worst album cover? It just looks like a bunch of... It looks like Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist. Yeah.

Them and, um, uh, I feel like Weezer is another band. Weezer, I've been listening to a bunch of some 41. Some 40s, dude. So good. My favorite thing to do is just get. drunk and then just listen to just early 90s or late 90s what yeah I just I get I get drunk and I get sad and then I watch the music videos in a row for uh some 41 fat lip greatest music video of all time every time I die map change I don't get sad I just get too excited and I'm like why don't

people why isn't anyone else excited Patrick's jumping up and down yeah watching fat live I've done that we did that at uh Noah's that one time dude I have I think with you two I've seen that that music video like 15 I love that music video so much it's so good so good definitely Definitely the best ever. There's a third sad music video that I watch, or like a wistful, you know? Yeah, like drunk alone, like. Pretending you're like 16. Yeah, exactly.

When I- Sugar Ray every morning. Sugar were going down swinging by fall in. Oh, yeah. That one? Swing, swing by All-American Rejects. Growing up, I thought that Fallup Boy, All-American Rejects, I thought they were gay. Yeah, I did.

I did, too. And like, okay, go. Like, all that stuff. I was like, that stuff sucks. That was my favorite. When I was like, eight? Oh, my gosh. No, no, no, no.

All-American Rejects was my favorite. I loved All-American Rejects. See, I liked, like, I was in... Because they had that bionicle commercial. I was in a point in a two. Yeah, they got kidnapped. Some 41, newfound glory, set your goals for your strong. Yeah, but you listen to, like, vegan, hardcore shit.

Yeah, I was also listening to, like, Earth Crisis. I was like, Earth Crisis was my favorite band as a kid. Dude, I had, like, a really bad scoffase. That sucks, man. Dude, I loved Sublime when I was 12 for, like, three months. I was, uh, I was super into five-finger death punch. Damn. Like, super into them.

They were, like, my favorite band for a really long time. I liked Slipknot a lot when I was in the sixth grade. But then seventh grade, I got into Sublime. Burzum. I got into, no, I got into, like, sublime. And then immediately, like, I realized just like, oh, all these songs just sound the same. And then, yeah, I was also super into symphonic metal. Like, the kind of where they play the keyboard.

Hell yeah, dog. Oh, I got into chip tunes, dude. Yeah. I just made YouTube poop music videos. I was all I fucking did. All I listened to was, like, Mega Man music. and block party for some reason. Yeah.

One of the, you mentioned your dad getting in the front bottom. It was the biggest curveball of my life one time was my dad was like, which it makes sense but it was just so weird to me. I came home one day and my dad was like, I have to show you two of my favorite artists

and he played a girl talk like remixed and then he was I was like, that's weird. And he was like, yeah, but like, this is my favorite shit right now. And also this. And then he played Florence in the Machine. and my dad is like

my dad is like such a weird like he's such like old school like cigar smoking guy and just hearing him listening to him or thinking about him like sitting on his front porch listening to like a Kanye Rolling Stones like yeah yeah remix he's just so weird my dad all my dad listens to is like you two

and stuff yeah my dad is like old punk and then like like mod stuff and then yeah and then like folk punk I don't know what my dad my dad My dad definitely has, like, weird, like, shit. My dad, no, my dad was also very into Scott. My dad loved, like, the English beat and stuff. Yeah, yeah. One time, I tried to show my dad, like, some hardcore band, like, Chromeags or something.

And he said, he, my dad would always say about, like, punk and hardcore that it sounded like diarrhea. Yeah. My dad, I listened to Odd Future Tate Volume 2 in the car. I bought it. And then my dad would just say the inward. Not even singing a lot. Whenever they would say it, no, whenever they would say it, he would look at me and go, like, It's a crazy dad move

Yeah Yeah Well he was just making fun of how often they said it But then he was just saying it Yeah, that's sick, dude My dad's awesome Your dad, you dad'll live forever Yeah

Yeah, I've never seen what your dad looks like Yeah, I remember I played He kind of was like Morrissey I was playing young thug His case weird What's the fucking song? The song, pull up on a kid No

Danny Glover Also, that's a funny title for a song Pull up on a kid With them The song When he says She give me A head on the plane

I just call it airhead Or something like that You know that line What is it Cameron's dad said that But I was playing that in the car My mom And she was like

Turn that off What did he just say Yeah Dude I still get If a rap song Comes on the radio I'm in the car With either of my parents

I get shut I get like a heat on the back of my neck. I feel like I'm in trouble. Yeah. Dude, my, it's not my, my dad listens to, like, he just has, like, the music he listens to. My mom jumps all over the fucking place.

You know, remember that band? Oh, my dad also loves bone thugs in harmony. But, oh. My mom, my mom loves hypnotized by notorious B.I.G. Well, that's, yeah, she's like, you know, that's like a 90s. Yeah, she loves that, and then remember monsters calling home? No.

Oh, they were, I hated them. but my mom fucking loved that band. They were like, I don't know, they were kind of like that, what was that band? There was the, of monsters and men,

but it was not, there were two bands that came out at the same time that had the name Monsters in their title. And of Monsters and Men have... Scary monsters and nice spreads. Yeah.

My mom loves Skrillix. No, she loved that, so that band Monsters Calling Home and I think they changed their band name because of them of Monsters and Men. Yeah, to Patrick's calling home. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, Angels and Airways. See, I was shown a Blake when 8, too, I was an Angels and Airwaves fan. Yeah. You didn't like Box Car Racer? No.

Oh man. My little brother, my sixth grade, my little brother started dating a girl and then she broke up with him day one. Nice. And I remember hearing him downstairs in our room because I was on the computer doing homework and then I like really loud hear him listening to There is by Box Car Racer. He was just like crying And all I hear is like I hate all the stupid love song On the radio

Dude the worst thing about being like a pop punk fan Was when you're like Oh that's a cool song I'll buy the album You buy the album three songs in One of the songs is about God Yeah Right like that was what's talked about like

Under oath Yeah I was like under oath is sick And then someone was like They are like a Christian band The first metal band I liked Was Demon Hunter Which is like Christian Metal

Demon Hunter is like the gateway metal band. Absolutely. I mean, they started, Demon Hunter. Demon Hunter, their first album's

fucking sick. It's just like new metal. It's just like it sounds like Slipknot. And then they just turned into like weird

like, like, I don't even know, like just like generic. I was into their album, um, The World is a Thorn. I remember the first metal song I heard and I was like,

damn, this is sick. It was a song, tie this around your neck by Demon Hunter about people getting freaking hanged. I've never heard of Demon Hunter. The first, first metal,

I mean, I played like, all the Tony Hawk game, so I just had, like, a really, like, like, my introduction to, like, metal music was, like, whiplash my Metallica and, like, uh, storm the gates of hell by a demon hunter. What was that song? So sick, dude. Yeah, dude, just be a Christian man.

It's on the, it's on Tony Hawk's Underground, too. It's so sick to be into God. Oh, Lamb of God. Lame of God. I listened to Lamb of God when I was, like, seven. Give it a job for a cowboy? No. A singer for Lamb of God, like, killed a guy. Really?

Right, Randy? I don't fucking know. I think that's Lamb of God. He, like, stabbed a guy and went to jail for a while, and now he's out. Yeah, Lamb of God. There's that Lamb of God song. Oh, that ministry. You ministry?

Oh, dude, ministry rocks. Dude, ministry, stigmata, and then ministry, there's that ministry song where they open it with the George W. Bush intro. That taught me, when I was a little kid, that taught me not to trust George W. Bush. Like, I was like, my mom and my grandpa were, like, after 9-11, we're, like, super in in the George W. Bush. I heard that ministry song, and I was like, do you not hear? Dude, I've been watching a lot of old George W.

It's funny that, like, people pretend, like, like, Trump is, like, the only president who was just, like, a fucking idiot. But, I mean, like, all of every president ever was, they're just guys. Yeah. They're just guys who are just kind of hanging out. They don't do a lot. They play a lot of golf. The thing where George W. Bush is a video where he's, where he's, like, talking to the camera,

and he's like, and we have to stop the violence in the Middle East. Now watch this drive. And then he hit, dude. that video fucking rules it's like I watch that and people are always like

how did he how did he beat Gore and Kerry it's like because he was fucking awesome yeah it rocks I would have voted for him I would vote for him

60 more times yeah he deserved that you just got I mean like you just gotta be the funniest coolest guy that is

whoever is the funniest wins it was like until we had until up to a certain point in history the tallest person running for president

always won that's true yeah Lincoln and then After that, it's just the funniest guy. Yeah. It's whoever was the best... Whoever can get stuck in a bathtub.

Yeah. Whoever was the best at, like, roasting. Like, whoever... If Patrice O'Neill had run for president... Oh, that would be awesome. He would have made... He would have been the president forever. Yeah.

He could have fucking run... Greg Geraldo. Greg Gerald. Imagine a Greg Geraldo. Just imagine a Greg Geraldo versus Petrieus. Colin Macri-Ryan-style ticket. Honestly... Honestly...

Colin, it would have to be Ryan Stiles, Colin Mockrey, though. They fight over who's... No, because Colin Mockery, he's Canadian. Oh. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, this doesn't make sense. You're right.

It wouldn't work. No, no, no, he could still be VP. All right, fine, fine, Greg Prue. No, no, no, Ryan Stiles. No, Brad and Wayne for president. And we get two singing presidents. Two singing presidents. What about Mulary Curley?

The first... And Shemp. Is the vice president. Uh-huh. Yeah. That would have been good, man. Shemp was the, you know, Curley was not actually related to the other. Yeah.

No, no, no, no. Did you know that actually, Larry wasn't related? Did you know they actually hated each other in real life and murdered each other yesterday? Yeah. That's actually true. I just saw that in the news.

Yeah. No, Shemp, Moe, and Curley were related. Shemp's, I got, I got a recommended a YouTube video called the Three Stooges getting hurt in real life. Yeah. Oh, I watched that one. Dude, there's, there's a scene. There's a scene.

the mo like almost beat the shit out of the director of the short because there's a scene where Larry got stabbed in the head with a fountain pen oh my god real like he just sits there and he's like has a reaction but it's a real reaction of him like freaking the fuck out i love that i love old comedy we should bring that back what like just beating the shit out of performers if we ever make a movie we should just yeah we if we ever make a movie we should do we should do it in that to each other it should be like uh the johnny knoxville movie with the water park rink point break yeah point break

have you guys seen the previous for that new eric andre movie that's like pranks combined with the movie like it's like he does like street bits but it's like also in a plot yeah they just did a dirty grandpa it looks yeah it looks fun bad grandpa

I always think it's called crazy grandpa yeah the ultimate stunt white grandpa yeah white grandpa I'm Robert De Niro I'm Robert De Niro

I'm Robert De Niro this is Jackass and I'm gonna be saying I'm still on white grandpa white grandpa white grandpa what would that movie be about sexy grandpa white grandpa what's that be about you fat grandpa old grandpa yeah damn that'd be a great movie now we should we should write a movie that's just like uh let's wait let's put a screen play on the right white grandpa right now it's just us Patrick's the only one who gets hurt in the entire thing yeah it's just us making Patrick I'm good at stunts dude he is a stunt man

I'm good at stunts. I know how to fall. You're probably the best at stunts. Absolutely the best of stunts. You can skateboard. You're only saying this so I could, oh, you're gonna make me do more stunts.

Dude, dude, you're like the king of stunts, man. Yeah, you're like, you could jump off the house. No, no,

no, no, you could jump off the house right now. You could jump off of it. You could survive if I shot you in the head. You would survive. Yeah. Patrick's evil canishes.

Mm. Fucking fat bitch. I'm kidding. Yeah. I know how to, I know how to. I know how to breathful, though. I used to. I can't

believe this. We've only done half of the episode. I feel like we've done like 10 years of content in this one episode. We've only done three. Well, that's because this is the second wind one. Yeah. This is I want to smell the DVDs to get us. I have a cup of coffee. I had a half a cigarette and I got to smell all

sorts of smells from around the world. Yeah. Do you guys remember? Wait, okay, figure out where the DVDs were made. That's how we that's how we source it. We know how DVD smell from different countries. between like Malaysia and China They're all China No they're not

One of them was Israel The fighting style is from Israel Yeah and so they made the DVD there too No Yeah They don't make DVDs in Israel Oh they do brother And you do not want to see what they put on there

They make WMDs Yeah Whoa Weapons of Meas Marijuana Mead Weid Marijuana Weid Marijuana and Big Dood Weapons of Moisha Derswitz

that's pretty good yeah yeah that's what a WMD is yeah weapons of moishish websites of moishish I have to make a website

yeah my boss Caleb dot com no my my well I do have to make a website oh man my boss

my boss fired me and then was like not really but I'm on leave from the museum and she was like but I have this other thing

that I need you to make a like if you know how to make a website I need you to make a website for it. And I just lied and said I know how to make a website. So now I have to figure out how to do that. It's use Wix. Yeah, but I think she probably wants me to not make her pay for like a subscription to something.

Oh, then, no, I mean, you have to pay. You can't just make a website and not pay for anything. You need hosting and shit anyway. Well, she has host. She already has a website. She wants me to update it. Oh, so I just have to like find. You shouldn't have said you could do that.

I should put a crazy cursor on it. Yeah, you should put a treasure chest cursor. Yeah. you should put the Minecraft I'll put my face with a little triangle on the top left a jump scare every three seconds yeah

yeah that children's theater is going to get fucking owned yeah yeah sounds good I don't know I feel like I can learn it can't be that hard or I can somebody has like code that I can just throw on there and change it's probably one of the random shit the easiest coding is to make a website

well I know how to do like some like I know to change the color yeah I know to do like some HTML stuff you just need a note you just need to have an idea of what you want to look like like you have an idea of what a pretty website looks like and then just look up how to do things like how to make sidebar stick to the side and stuff like that it's pretty easy out i'll play it by year it's so crazy how many people like it's so crazy it's so crazy how many people like neopets guilds like so many kids were just learning how to make

websites through neopets and they didn't like my sister like all she used to do like was just code like neopet shit And I don't even think she remembers how to do it. No, it's like the Neopets guilds. What in the Sam Hill? I don't know what you're talking about. What in Tarnation are you talking about partner? I just remember my sister.

What in Tardation are you talking about? My sister would go, oh, neopets in MySpace. You'd have to code your MySpace to, like, get, like, cursors. I do remember. But that was stuff that you could just copy and paste. Yeah, I know. But then there was other stuff that you had to do. I don't know.

We should just do a Three Stooges-style movie. Yeah. Like, I'm talking old school. Yeah, black and white. black and white we put we hit each other with bricks yeah we're always tripping each other you know we're all trying to fuck the same girl you know some beautiful dame some actually some like ugly white bitch from the 40s who's who I think it's obvious yeah yeah say it then well we're all groucho yeah groucho I'm probably I'm probably like mostly the I'm probably like

I don't know much about him Pat's curly I think Caleb's moe because he's a short he's and I'm Larry he's Jewish no We're all groucho. I think Caleb's Moe because he's short and Jewish. I'm not Jewish. I'm actually, I am Jewish. I sometimes I think what if I just started telling people I was Jewish, how would my life change? I tried to do that in middle school.

Really? I was like, hey, I'm half Jewish. Yeah. And everyone just said, shut the fuck up. No, you're not. The teacher brings you into a secret door. You get secret lunch. We sit on a throne.

We have a new lunch for you. Yeah, you have to, yeah, you just start getting, You start getting A's on all of your homework. The teacher wings at you and she hands you your homework. Oh, I did have, we had a teacher, name is Mrs. Dusharm. Mrs. Dush? That's what, that was the joke. I feel like all your teachers had a pretty easily lampoonable name.

They did, yeah. Most of them, Mr. Deno. Yeah. Call him Mr. Deno. Mr. Desshole? Mr. Gaping asshole with your ball sack. Mr. Cream Pie. Actually, Mrs. Ballsack got it the worst.

Mrs. Dusharm was the only, I think she was the only Jewish teacher at the school. And she was like our seven, like my seventh grade teacher because we had like the pod system. And then like a year before my brothers, friends were in the class. And they learned how to say go shit in the ocean in Hebrew, but they didn't know that she was Jewish. And they said it, I guess one of them like told it because their friend Dave was Jewish. And then one of them said it to Dave. And then he said something back. And then she said something back to them.

in Hebrew and then one of them looked up at her and went you speak Jew yeah I mean that's pretty fair to say I think as a middle schooler yeah

my youngest brother my half brother he's Jewish and not like in the technical not because his mom is not but his dad is and the way that we found out because he my stepdad

didn't even know that he was Jewish because he was raised Christian yeah but he's like half Jewish so that he's like a quarter jewish so yeah my brother's a quarter jewish so he the way that we learned was his mom saw his uh one day who's like this like saw his penis and it was circumcised so she's like this goofy like old southern lady she saw him like he like put like a like a sock on his head or something when he was like a kid started running around and she was like he looks like a little jew boy

and my mom was like you can't say that and she was like oh no i'm a hundred percent Jewish and my stepdad was just like, what the fuck? Then she, like, they got to the worst students there. Yeah, they just never, it's just something that he never knew about himself. Damn, yeah. Wow. That's crazy. It's like if Patrick didn't know that he was half woman.

Yeah. But luckily he doesn't. Luckily, he does. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Figured that out pretty quick. It's hard to miss. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Because it's under my armpit. what's it my pussy on my armpit that's a that's Daniel Tosh joke Pussy on my armpit yeah he's sorry I wouldn't listen to that fucking white bastard Daniel Tosh you white bastard yeah I knew somebody who's boyfriend

I knew somebody who's boyfriend was Daniel Toshed I wished who wrote for that show and he said that working in that office is a nightmare yeah because they're always trying to like prank the people who worked there like that's part of the job because like there you have clips where people where he'll just like put like spaghetti on your head or something while you're right at your computer and he was like yeah it's just like complete hell like everybody hates it yeah i'm sure i feel like i'd survive there they should hire me you would love it yeah yeah it's just all pranks just people

yeah they just serve you fucking it's pranks and you watch youtube videos all that you just watch they're just like okay today you have to watch every video of a midget that's online and you have to find the funniest one that sounds like the perfect job for me it's paradise but every once in a while we're going to make you smell something funny. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to put it. What did I just do at the beginning of the episode?

That's literally what Patrick's... Patrick's apartment is indistinguishable from the Tosh Point O offices. The office on that show, that office looked very nice. It is nice. Yeah, they get a lot of money, man. Yeah.

It's still running. Tosh Pointeau is still on here. It'll never end. Yeah. It's one of that. Like, he doesn't even do stand-up really anymore. It just does it. There was, in my high school,

we couldn't have class clown as the superlative. So you guys had Tosh. Who's the Daniel Taw? We did. So, 2013. Oh, my God. So my year, it was Next Will Ferrell, which I won. Thank you.

Nice, dude. That's huge. Nice. You should put that on your resume. Yeah. Two years before was Next Tosh. They thought his name was Tosh. They thought his name was Tosh.

Oh, yeah. Next Homer Simpson. Yeah. I didn't win any superlatives. Me and all my boys won superlif. relatives. You were the popular kid, dude. No, I just, I won Next Wolf Farrell.

My friend won. Ugliest Goblin. My friend Alex won takes the most selfies, which he was not excited for. That's getting flamed right there. But then we pulled a prank because you'd get like three comments from your friends. Yeah. And we pulled a prank and we put a kid who didn't go to the school anymore. But so we were like, oh, this would be funny.

they won't use it. So then he, next semester, he came back to the school. And it's in the yearbook. It says like, wow, he really does take the most selfies with that kid's name. And then he saw it in the yearbook and then like tried to complain to them. And he's like, that's a misprint. I don't. The high school like co-op homeschool thing I went to, they did a yearbook. But by the time I was graduating, I was the only person in the senior class because everybody else had dropped out. Yeah. And so I got like two pages on the yearbook.

And it was just like a bunch of pictures of me. Nice. And the girl who like made the yearbook, she was like, what do you want as a quote there? And it was like right after Harris Whittles died. And so I was like, I want my quote to be his wheat thick's joke. And so I sent it to her. And it's like, wheat then call me when they're wheat thicks. Give me that wheat is the joke.

And she just typed. I like, I remember getting the yearbook and opening it. And it just said, give me wheat-thicks. That's a whole new quote. Give me wheat-thakes. Oh, and she didn't attribute it to Harris Little. It just said, give me wheat-thakes. Caleb Bennett.

My senior quote was Homer Simpson's senior quote, which was just, I can't believe I ate the whole thing. Nice. Yeah. I think my senior quote was, what's the big idea? That's pretty good, right? My friend's senior quote was just skirt for like five lines. I'm really surprised they let him do it.

It's like a shit ton of ours. It's definitely much better to just do like gibberish. Yeah. It's so much funnier. What I did. Yeah. Yeah. I was doing a tribute to my friend.

They, uh, they mixed up. Yeah. There are twins at my school named Connor and Patrick. And so they did like, that's your guys just name. They did a, uh, quote. Their quote was like, is this the crusty crab and the other one was no, this is Patrick. And they fucked out.

And they fucked up. But they, they, they, they, they, they fucked it up and switched them. Damn. That's awesome. So it was like in the wrong order and on the wrong people. That rocked. So funny. Fuck, man.

Yeah. I used to take my older brother's yearbooks and just, I loved going through them and just like, yeah, a scribbling on them. Just scribbling on people who I never knew. I used to do it up my sister's yearbook. I did it with their eighth grade yearbook and there was a kid. Just because I saw that on like the intro to some like Nickelodeon show probably. Yeah, like, Devils and a mustache.

Yeah, on Nesey classified. I was like, that's what you do. That's like a hobby. Exactly. That's what you're supposed to do. Yeah. And so I would give them. made them all look like pirates,

give them a, remove one of the teeth. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That is one of the classic pranks to play on someone, is make it look like they're missing a tooth. Yeah, draw rice paddy hats on people. Yeah, yeah. I might have my yearbook here.

No, it's at my, I found it. No. No, no, it's in the bathroom. Could look through, you do a podcast where I'd look through on my yearbook. Oh, my God. Why? Because that would be cool.

Because that shit would be funny as hell. Mm-hmm. I could just tell you which kids shit their pants. me why don't you tell us right now say the first names of everyone in school who shit their pants pissed his pants i think i told this on the pot already but the kid who uh what my gym teacher who had like a cleft lip in the second grade only in the second grade he got it cured they cured it they cured it after he used to write he was like legally blind but he would ride a bike to school and he had like a little caddy that he put his kids in so he's like right

Yeah, dude, this guy should not have been teaching at a school. He looked like this. Like, he had, like, a cross. Patrick's doing nothing. He just make his normal face. He had, like, a cross eye, like, his eye was, the lazy eye that looked at his nose permanently, a cleft lip. He always wore, like, a windbreaker track suit.

Like, you know, like, the, like, the track suits that are, like, it's like a green and purple. Yeah, like the 90s tracksuits. Yeah, he wore, like, a track suit that he's owned since he was in college. And he, one day, he, fucking, he taught a whole. whole unit to us on how to juggle scarves. What the fuck?

Can you imagine like going to like any European country and just like talking about your high school for ten minutes? Right. They'd be like that's... We did not have that gymnasium. Yeah. But fucking, so we had this after school

program for like kids whose mom worked. And like we, it was called, it was called, it was called poor kids school. Poor kids games. And we played this. this game called Sharks and Minnows. Oh, I love Sharks and Minnows. I wish we,

classic. I wish it was infrastructure to play Sharks and Minnows. I wish we could play it right now. No, but we, before we played Sharks and Minnows, he was explaining the rules to us and Ian was raising his hand. I think I told this, but he was like, he did the, can I go to the bathroom? I don't know, can you? Oh, yeah.

Can I go to the bathroom? I don't know, can you? And he came back with just gray sweatpants, pants, pissed soaked down to the leg. And his twin brother stood up and went, ha! Damn! Oh, my God. Dude, he got flamed by his... The worst part is getting Nelsoned by your own blood.

You're... By someone who looks exactly like you. Yeah, by a mirror. Yeah. His brother stood up... His brother was the only one who laughed. We all felt bad. We all were just like, oh, Ian.

Oh, my God, dude. How old was second grade? Yeah. You said? All right. That's one of, like, just the defining moments. Just, I knew, from that day on, I knew I had to ask, may I go to the bathroom.

Yeah. You know, and man. I was just thinking, I've been thinking so much recently about, and I texted you guys about this, but the kid in my like homeschool co-op who had some condition where if he laughed too hard, he would have, there's this kid, his name is Noah and he, we found out like my, my, like, junior year that if he, if he started having this thing where if he laughed too hard, he would just have a seizure and like pass out. And just for like, like, until I graduated, they, we just thought it was so. funny and I would go I would just like every day as soon as I got there I would immediately make a beeline to him and just try to get him to pass out and everybody thought it was so funny and I was like ah ha and he would like fall over and someone he always he had this one friend who as soon as I walked towards him his friend would stand behind him just so that when he fell backwards he could catch him and it got to the point where the like the principal of the place was like

yeah you guys if I see you in the same room as him you're banned from the school forever and yeah I got and then I guess he got treatment for it at some point but recently I found like an Instagram that was like run by like a collection of the kids like a high school like meme page for the school or whatever and there was like all these all these like pictures of him just like asleep just like having fallen over because I made him laugh and he's just like slumped over like in his chair in class or whatever and just all of the captions are just like like

Noah's bitch ass fell asleep again because Caleb made him laugh dude it was fucking I miss it man I miss that dude and then I hosted his graduation and you said a joke in the speech I no I wish

no I hosted his graduation and I was like graduating is Noah and he's like really smart kid and he's like really smart kid And he started crying and hugging me. And I was like, I thought that, do you not realize that I, I probably ruined your life? Like, I'm probably the reason why you won't be able to fucking pass a-

This is Noah McGee. No, I wish it was Noah McGee. No, Noah McGee is stupid for other reasons. Damn, shout out Noah. Shout out to Noah, baby. Yeah. He's headed back to the East Coast. Oh, hell yeah.

Yeah, I'll probably see him on home. Yeah, if once his corona shit's done, bring him up here. I will. Oh, well. in tow when I come back up. Drag him by the string. Yeah, I'm going to drag him by the...

Well, I did install a string. Noah, we're going to grab your string. I'm going to pull it. Pull your string all the way to Boston. You're going to say something. We should put a catchphrase box in Patrick in his back. What would his catchphrase be?

I'm hungry. I just pull it. Toasty. Yeah. It's the Quiznos catcher. Louisiana fast. No, it would be. Yeah.

Yeah. Do that yeah. Which one? Do your yeah. Yeah. That one? No. No, it's higher pitched.

It's a thing that you don't know that you do, but we know that you do. Oh, yeah. Do it. That's, no. I can't do it. I can't. When somebody, when somebody says something, like, mentions, like, if I say, like, yeah, I was watching the Rugrats movie the other day and you also know the Rugrats movie, you'll point in me and go, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a Greg Pepper's voice. I've finally known Patrick Long and I'm. that I can identify it's so hard to with people that you really know it's hard to identify like impressionable stuff yeah you know what I mean like the only person people that I know that I can do

I don't have a distinct voice but I do have that you and you and Neil Neil is just you just has like a hand thing that Neil you talk with your hands yeah that's it but like anybody else is like me doing an impression of Patrick is the same as doing an impression of Joshua DeFrina

it's literally the same movement of the face Because we just watched those videos And just picked up that That his expression We just keep doing that Yeah The frown

Yeah And the raised eyebrows We're nerdy or not gay They're roommates I love him too Yeah me too We should have him on I would love to have him on

He uh he follows a bunch of people We know on Twitter Yeah because we all follow him Yeah He's the best Shout out to that kid Shout out Joshua If he started a Patreon

I'd subscribe. Absolutely. Let's get him some money. Yeah. Yeah. They'd buy street signs. Yeah. Oh, that'd be great for him.

That would be great for him. That would be huge for him. That would. No, they would. That would seriously be huge for him. Also, just if they make, like, a new Alvin and the chipmunks, they're definitely stealing some of his ideas. He'll get royalties.

Yeah. You know what I mean? So. Yeah. I heard he's going on the writing staff. Yeah. Of Tosh. Yeah.

He's going to, he's going to write for Tosh. Oh. Patrick is crying Daniel Tosh And he's pitching jokes So what if we did a video with Elmo And he went to the store That's not bad, Josh

Oh, I feel bad I knew we would get there one day Yeah, we got there It's a quarantine Yeah, it's making us be mean Yeah Oh fuck man Daniel, I need to tell you that

We should have Squidward on for a web Redemption Squibbid or Web Redemption We're going to have Sullivan the Frog on for a web redemption God, I feel bad saying I feel bad laughing at it No, dude, he's our cousin and our buddy And we love him

Yeah, no, I just feel like, I don't know He's our friend I don't know We can make fun of our friends Yeah, dude, what are you talking about? He's our best friend He's our homey, man He lives with Patrick

Yeah He's a roommate He's here, man He was doing all those voices Not me Yeah I love him All right

We have to talk about something else For the last five minutes Yeah We can talk about how much I have to pee All right I'm glad You know

I honestly I think this is not a horrible Way to do episodes I got A notification from Dominoes Cool man Hey man That's huge

So we do another one after this Yeah I got I'll do one more. Yeah, I got a, I'm going to go blast a hot one. Caleb's going to blast sticky hot ropes and piss. I'm going to pee. Yeah, busting.

He's going to be piss busting. Dude, I'm going to pee out fist-sized globs of yellow gunk. It's crazy. They're going to stick to your bathroom wall forever. Yeah, dude. I'm going to do the dumb and dumber scene, but it's going to be white chocolate. And you're going to go, what the heck is this? That's dumb and dumber.

Whatever. Have you ever seen the Amazon Prime description of that movie? No. Say it. I don't know it. Say it. Are you just asking? I don't know it.

I think I don't know. Have you guys seen that? Yeah. No, I don't know if they did it on purpose because of the title of the movie. Did they keep going er-ur-ur? No, but it's like, it literally makes no sense. Let's read it. I posted it somewhere.

Yeah, I bet you did. You posted it. I posted it to Cameron's screen. You posted your pussy. No, it's got to be on the streaming service. It's got to be like the... Oh, yeah. The one on the TV.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah, we won't see it then. Yeah. I mean, I'll find it eventually. All right, find it, dude. Okay.

Find it now. I'll find it for you. Find it for me, dude. Finding for Cameron. That's my new movie coming out soon. Finding for Cameron. Do you think when girls have sex for the first time, they... Oh, here it is.

Complain that they can't find the penis. All right. Here's the description for dumb and dumb er-er when... Harry met Lloyd. Two mentally challenged teenagers dream an impossible dream to get out of the special needs. The adventures was so dynamic duo

as the two possibly dumbest boys become lifelong. Damn, that's good. It's written by them. Yeah. Yeah, they let Harry... The thing is, they're not that stupid. No.

You know, like, you know, they look stupid. They got a bull cut? But Jim Carrey... The thing is, even... Even Jim Carrey in that movie, his character could have just been Jim Carrey. Like, if he had tried hard. If he had gone to, like, if he had gone to an open casting, people would have been like, damn, you're good.

You make some of the funniest faces around, dumb. You straight up, you look like Jim Carrey right now. You look like, dude, you seriously have Jim Carrey face right now. You, straight up, you'd be looking like Truman. You, us three, we're like, here. We're like, I'm Jim, you're Andy, Patrick's the Grinch. We're like the three versions. The Trinity of Jim Carrey.

Huh? Jim Andy and the Grinch? Yeah. And to pray. Oh, I thought you were talking about... Yeah. I thought you meant Jim Halpert, Andy Bernard, and the Grinch. That would be so sick.

Could you imagine if the Grinch went to Dunder Mifflin for an internship? Yeah. Do you have green paper? He probably says something like that. Yeah. Actually, just save all the shreds of the paper setter again. That's my lunch. I'm going to eat him in the break room.

He'd be... Honestly, if you replaced Creed Brathe... He would do, the Grinch, Creed and the Grinch. Imagine if they were friends. The Grinch would think Michael Scott is the best boss ever and that he treats women well. Buddy cop movie, Creed Bradden, and the Grinch.

Mm-hmm. Right? And they have to go save the trash. Creed and Grinch versus trash. And they eat a mung bean together. What if they go to, what about a movie? What about an eat prey love style movie

where it's the Grinch on a spiritual journey to the trash island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean? Okay. That might be the movie we make. We're going to write something while during quarantine. We should write a gritty reboot of the Grinch. We should do a Gritch reboot.

Oh, man. With all the Grinch fought. Wait, oh, wait, I have a piece of Grinch lore to submit. I thought of this over the weekend. Okay. Let me know what you guys think of this. The Grinch's penis. It looks exactly like a Christmas tree.

And that's part of why he hates Christmas is because he thinks everyone's making fun of this weird shape of his penis when they see he sees the trees. You guys save his gold for the movie, but the rest of his body. Yeah. Yeah. So what do you guys think of this? the Grinch Lord. Comment down below and let me know if you like my... Comment below my feet.

Yeah, crawl underneath my feet and comment from there. And lick the bottom of my feet while you comment. Yeah, look up under the dress that I'm wearing. Which I do. I guess I'll peek through my toes at my... What kind of pose should I do for my sexy dress photo? A sexy woman pose? Duh.

I don't even know what that is. Why is he even asking? Yeah, you don't know what a sexy woman looks like because you never look at one. You look at a sexy man. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna eat you. Imagine, okay, so... Like Jonah in the whale. I'm going to bite off your butt hole. I'm going to get you stuff.

You remember the... I'm going to put my sharp-ass thumb in your butt, dude. It's going to rip you up from the inside. I'm going to put a pencil in your butt and it's going to come out sharp. Yeah. Okay, I have to shit and piss so bad. All right, we have 30 seconds. Do you remember that Veggie Tales movie with Jonah and the whale and there's a warm in it for no reason?

Yeah, we will talk about Veggie Tales in the next episode. There's a little teaser. I got some thoughts on Larry the cucumber. Larry the cucumber hung out with a blue worm in that movie. The blue worm? No. Janna one time told me that when she was growing up, a girl told her that every night she would go home

and stick an entire French cucumber in her pussy. What? Yeah, and I was like, girls are so disgusting. Girls are so cool. I hate girls. Dom told me that when she went to summer camp, there was like a very religious girl

who handed out Bibles to everybody on the first day, but she was also obsessed with the WW, divas What? She was like She's gay. Yeah, she's a gay woman

but she was very like She didn't understand. That's such a funny like thing to put your gayness into. The WWDivas. Because it's just like oh. Simultaneously the straightest and gayest thing you can be into.

All right. That's the end of the premium. All right. We'll remember veggie tales. It's coming up. Yeah. See you.