Podcast About List - UNLOCKED Premium #202 - Watchy's World

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

Watchy hopes you enjoy this episode. Watch the full video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Wow about this You know Oh, big clap And they might say hey, but we never worry About what they say Because they got nothing on you, baby You do sound like Bruno Mars with all the high voice. Whoa.

They might say, hey. Is that Bruno Mars that's a high voice? sings that? Hi, but they never worry about who will die because they got nothing on you, baby, nothing on you, baby. They might say hey, they might say hi. But they might wonder who might be died. Who might going to die. They got nothing.

Well, they might say hey, they might say hi. I'm getting it. You might say hey, and I might say hi, but we never were, or not, you might say high and I might say hey, but we never worry about. but we never worry about what they say. Yeah. Because they got nothing on you. Nothing on you, babe. Nothing on you.

That's Bruno Mars featuring Travi McCoy. Nothing on you part of that song. I remember hearing that. I never paid attention enough to it to realize I was talking about saying, hey and hi. Is it Travis McCoy or is it Bob? Oh, I think it's Bob. I think that one is Bob, actually. That's so funny to make that song.

Pretty much all of Bob's career is just like magic by Bruno Mars. That song, like the most poppy bullshit. it. And then he's like, or magic by B.O.B with Rivers Cuomo. And then he's immediately like, the earth is flat. Everything has a global conspiracy.

Hidden Valley is in Africa. It took him a while to get there. The Hidden Valley. The Hidden Valley is actually in Africa. This is a theory that me and Patrick have been working on guys. They're trying to hide it from you. They're saying white people, they're saying white people invented ranch.

No, it's not white people. No. No. Hidden Valley. has a valley, I mean, it's hidden because it uses Wakanda technology to have a hidden completely screen around it, guys.

Ranch dressing was invented in Africa. Yeah. Ranch dressing. Think about it. Ranch. That's the stupidest thing we've ever said. Ranch It's the stupidest fucking thing we've ever dressing. Black guys are good at dressing. Better than

white guys. You think a white guy I invented dressing, you are actually stupid. Just my theory. Yeah. But that's just a theory. Pretty good theory. A range theory. Do you remember that when B.O.B went flat earth crazy whenever that was?

I remember the day my, like, if it was like my kid was born. I remember, like, okay, so BOB is literally a Nazi. Yeah. No. I remember. I remember. I'm like, what is this? No, I don't you realize that a lot of flat earth?

theorists are actually originally Nazis? Yeah, I mean, that is true, but that doesn't mean the AOB is a Nazi. Not flat earth, actually now that I'm thinking about it. But that was what Hollow Earth. Oh, that's what people Tall Earth is a very crazy theory I just made up. A big, there was

a theory that young thug had. Is that the Earth is tall? He said, you've never seen the video where he says they discovered a new Earth, it's exactly the same as this Earth, but it's twice the size. Everyone there is two times the size. and I'm from there.

Whoa. That means that he's little as... No, I've never seen that. That means he's little as fuck. Yeah. That means... Tall Earth is a theory I just came up with, though,

where the Earth is a cylinder. Yeah, he's from another planet, man. Yeah, he's from New Earth. Whoa. And it's in French? It's the same than... It's Earth, though. It looks identical.

Everything is the same. You ain't heard of that yet? It's 10 times big in Earth, but it's Earth. It's another Earth they just found another planet. It looks just like Earth, though. So they call it Earth.

I'm probably from now. I don't think I'm from here. That's so sick, man. 10 times bigger. 10 times bigger. 10 times. He's definitely not from a place 10 times bigger. I don't think he's a big guy.

Remember that article that came out a couple, not a couple, maybe 10 years ago at this point, where it was like some reporter follows him around and he doesn't eat. Yeah. That was like he only eats out of vending machines. and he'll have two Cheetos and be like, oh, I'm full. And then, well, that was that also the same article where they were like, they, when they followed him around, they were like, when he goes into the recording booth, he doesn't write any of his lyrics down, he draws pictures.

Yeah. That's amazing. Like, he would look at this picture of white Goku that Patrick made, and he might say something about some fruit. Oh, no, I'm guessing the picture. I feel like white Goku. Because how do you draw? I'm in your city.

Call it Roku. Oh, shit. Wait, that was actually nice. Roku City when the Goku hit me Godzilla Godzilla Watching Thrilla on YouTube He wouldn't say that

You know I'm in a bad mood Why are you think you can come in here In the middle of the episode And defend a rapper When you normally won't even answer a question Right Because we asked him off We pissed him the fuck off by saying something

That's disrespectful See he's got to defend his man Wait are you YSL He is Yeah Oh my God Are you in trouble right now? Yeah.

Shouldn't you be in some kind of... Yeah. Oh, shit. I guess that makes some sense. Yeah, I would love to be eclectic, but I just don't have it in me. No. You mean... Accentric.

Yeah. Yeah, I would love to be eccentric. But I just don't have it in me. I mean, maybe that's kind of one of my eccentricities. You're dressed eclectically right now. Some people would think that, I mean, if you're trying to be eccentric, right? If I don't think eccentric people know they're eccentric. Do I look like I sell?

Most eccentric people really know they're eccentric and really are kind of milking it. Yeah. They wear their cat eyeglasses. Dude, these people who do these house tours where they're walking around their house is 45 different fucking colors. And they have stuffed animals everywhere. Shut up. You'll be walking around, especially in New York, you'll be like walking around. You'll see some guy and it's like, okay, buddy, I get it.

You got the long beard. You got the ragged clothes. You're walking around like, yeah. Yes, dude. Oh, look at all these. I'm tired of these eccentric, these eccentric hipsters in Brooklyn. I hate these eccentric hipsters. They walk around instead of a shirt, they're wearing a big drum.

Instead of shoes, they're wearing two pedals. Instead of lipstick, they have a harmonica. And then instead of just normal gloves, they have two trombones. Some of them are golden men. I'm tired of these golden men. Yeah, exactly. The hipsters who walk around as gold. Oh, I'm gold.

Yeah, wait. Oh, look at me. I'm made a silver and I don't move at all. Yeah. What the fuck are you doing? I just sit here. And then somebody tries to touch me. me and I stand up.

That's when I stand up. Oh, I think moving and being a normal color is mainstream, so I will do this. I will be completely silver. I will be a silver unmoving hipster. And then when they do move, it's like, hey, what are you moving at 12 frames per second? What are you even doing this? You know what other eccentric hipsters I hate? What?

Like, oh, look at me. I'm wearing a polo shirt with a golden M on and I stand behind this counter. Oh, don't even get me. I'm back here. I'm on the other side of this counter from you. You can't come over to this side. Everybody who's mainstream sits on that side, but I sit on the behind side of the food restaurant. Oh, I'm so.

I'm such a hipster. I sit behind the cash register instead of it. And I get to press the button. I love pressing the button. I don't even order the food. I don't even eat the food. I listen to you order the food. I'm too cool to order food.

I'll just stand there and listen to you with no expression while you order yours. And then I'll say, okay, okay, yeah, sure, that'll be right out. Yeah, sure, I'll get that for you. And what kind of soda? That is so fucking hipster. They say, and what kind of soda? They're so obsessed with fucking being tastemakers and trendsetters that they're literally always asking people, what kind of soda do you want? What food are you going to eat?

It's like, chill out. It just think about yourself. It doesn't matter what I like or I'm going to get. Do you want to make that a large for an extra 60 cents? What does that mean, you freaking hipster? You know what they're going to say, if you say, I like Coke, they're going to go like, well, Coke's okay. but I just don't like the fan base of Coke. Exactly.

I just don't like the fan base of Sprite. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Let's not get into that. Let's not get into sodas. What? Let's not talk about sodas. I'm tired of talking about it. Why?

Tired out all week. Everyone's like, you have to promote sodas. Oh, you played Faygo. I'm done. I'm done. In the E1 original production? They keep Charles is a fucking need to do an ad for this

or something right now? Charles is a fucking monster. What are you doing? He's berating me. Kind of just steamrolled our whole hipster thing. We had a really real... That was probably the best thing

we've had. We were like right on the precipice. We were not on the precipice. That's true. We were on a breakneck downhill sleigh ride. It was incredible. And you just decided to say...

It was a North Pole Grinch Heart Grove. I'm sorry. I'm going through a lot of magic we were on our way to a finale. I am going through a munkin lot this week. We were on a jet plane Pentagon finale on our Grinch sled. This was about to be like,

like the thing that popped for us. We were popping. We were popping. We were hitting top 40. And you just fucking say, I don't talk about sodas because I did a podcast this week. I got to use my stress toy.

This is your stress toy. Disemembered arm? I want to dismember your member. I don't want to dismember this at all. No, no, no, no. This I don't want to remember. This is something I never need to member again. Okay.

Speaking of, man, these member berries are funny as fuck. I've been getting back into the member berries. Memba berries. These member berries are amazing. But I wish they kept going with the member berries.

Where did they go? They just did them for like two seasons. But guys, bring these member berries back and they can go, member. So if they're off the show, if they're off a South Park

can we have them here? What? We can have the, so they're off a South Park now. Oh, in fact, they're walking in right now. Yeah. Can you jubiots?

So just like get like a PNG of the member berries and just put it like right here. Could you just edit away the background of like 15? member berries real quick. And just put all the member berries right in front of the table.

Make them animated. If you can animate them and preferably in three dimensions. Yeah. Here we go. Okay. We got a PNG of the member berries. Okay. So the member berries, they're in studio.

Yeah. We're about to be here very, very soon. Don't save it as an HTML. He's just trying. He's trying his hardest. Oh, it's a web P. I don't know if that'll, if that'll work. Let's see if we can get a different file here.

Yeah, let's get a new type of file. Maybe you got to get like a PNG. JPEG is not going to be good. JPEG is not a lossless format. It doesn't need to be lostless. It needs to be transparent, though. I'm fine with loss. You're fine with loss.

I deal with loss very well. It's a part of human life. And listen, when you lose loss, you become something like a necromancer. I hate loss. I hate loss. That leads you down a path not that far away from being Hitler. Fuck loss and fuck grief. If you're grieving right now, if you're grieving, fuck you.

All right, Charlie. Chuckie Chuckie Brown He says good grief He likes grief He thinks it's good He doesn't like grief He says good grief sarcastically

Yeah because he I mean I will admit that he wallows He says yeah He goes oh good grief I thought he likes it I thought that's why man He doesn't like grief He's grieving

He's grieving when he says it No he's wellowing In in misery Yeah He likes it He's calling it good Which sin would he be Did you see this

Did you see this Did you see this video? It's not a sin. This video of these, like, two Filipino guys with a podcast, and they're, like, sitting there, and he's like, did you know that all of the holidays equal every single one of the seven deadly sins? What was their argument for that? Their argument was Valentine's Day is lust.

That's true. Christmas is greed. Oh, wait. Thanksgiving is gluttony. St. Patrick's Day is sloth. Yeah. You got wrath left. You got envy and you got pride.

Wrath is... Angry day. Angry day. Pride is... Fourth of July. Uh-huh. Envy. Envy is...

Also Valentine's Day. Yeah. Also Valentine's Day. I don't even know if those guys were Filipino. But it could be both. Yeah. Well, then why can't Valentine's Day be both? Two things can be true at the same time, my friend.

I honestly think there's space for every sin on every holiday. Yeah. Well, you know what? You know what? What? Let's make some more sins. Wait, I mean, yeah. Well, the argument is Halloween. There's seven deadly ones, right? Seven deadly sins. Buddy, let's add seven more.

Okay. Where did you start with that? Okay, so the seven more deadly sins. They're deadlier? Deadlier sins. Which would be? For the modern era. Okay. Being.

Being a hipster. Being a hipster. I need to go back to the seven things. We're already way past that. Now you're trying to... You're the one who Matrix yanked us out of that. And then now you're trying to put us back. Matrix yanking?

Number two. No. That's a sin. I was thinking... Matrix yanking is a sin. I was falling asleep the other night. Me too. Wait, actually, I was doing that as well.

Twin. My twin. That's me and my twin and him. I was falling asleep the other night. And I was thinking about how good it probably feels to be in some kind of alien goo farm. Yeah. And be like sliding down a very long tube forever. I was like, I think.

I think that I would actually really enjoy that. You're thinking of gunge. If I was abducted and... You want to be gunged. Well, but I want to be controlled by a higher being in the gung. You want to get an ovipositor egg in you? Yeah, so if I was like, if I woke up and I was being abducted and I was sliding through a tube into a UFO, I really think I would enjoy that feeling.

I feel like it would be very comforting. Did you guys ever see that movie, fire in the sky? No. That was, you should watch them. That's a good movie with the, it's the alien abduction scene where they're like doing, they put milk in the guy's mouth. They put milk in it. Dude, I would just drink the hell you talking about, bro.

It's something like that's similar to that, but it's good. So this is a movie you made up. Yeah, it's really, it's a nasty alien abduction. I just think that you should, you'd like that scene. Do you, but can you roll that clip? No, we don't need to see this clip. I don't need to see it. You should just watch the clip on your own time.

But anyway, yeah, I just think that, um, that a lot, everyone says that's the most horrifically horrible abduction scene, but I think it could feel pretty good to Who's in fire in the sky? Basically nobody. It's an empty movie with no one. That is a good idea, actually. It's a pretty boring movie, except for the one part

where they're in an alien spaceship and there's no gravity, so they're like jumping around and flying around and then they are getting surgeryed. I just realized how to end this whole actor's writer's strike guys. Yeah, a movie with nobody in it.

A movie, a completely empty movie with nobody in it. And just keeps changing scenes. Just different pictures. That's called a documentary. No, no, no. It would be like pictures of, so you can't have actors,

be pictures of like animals walking around. But is it a close-ups about them like mating and stuff and it would be like a movie with nobody in it? Is it the producer strike or the people are striking against producers because then that's, that's a movie that would be made by producers. That's what I mean is they can just keep making movies. I don't think the producers are on strike right now. Wait, how come these animals aren't going on strike?

That's actually a really good point. Because they can, everybody likes nature documentaries. They do very well. They could do a march of the penguins right now. Also, why aren't the direct? directors on strike, they got a whole, they have a whole group. Isn't everybody has music videos to make? What?

Isn't every guild on strike? I think it's just the actors and the writers. I think the directors get to do whatever they want. You know who I think, what guild I think should go on strike? The Thieves Guild. Yeah. Stop pickpocketing me. Just because I'm walking through the village, man. You're stealing out of my barrel. You're stealing out of my fucking barrel. Leave my barrel

alone. You seen this lady? I got coins on top of that. Who? Attentionioon, pickpocket? No. You seen her? No. It's a little Italian lady runs around Italy and just like how little screams she's like stop stop she's that small that small how many feet is that she runs up to people and just screams attention pickpocket she runs up to people she she runs up to active pick pockets oh and she stops them and films them with her phone i think that i would be a pretty decent pickpocket.

Yeah. Well, I can feel you in my pocket right now. That actually sounded so fucking sexual. I can feel you in my pocket

right now. What are you doing? Leave me alone. He just touched my dick. I didn't touch his dick. He literally has reached down and reached in between my legs.

Stop. I'm okay. I can't even attempt to pick pocket. Do you guys feel like we are penis friends? Penis friends? Like,

well, you guys have seen my penis. Okay. I know. You mean. I know what you mean. Like, I went to the, I went to. I know exactly. No, I do know exactly what you mean. I went to the bath house last night.

I think we're really, where I think we honestly have been for years and years been completely teetering on the precipice. Well, I broke the seal. I broke the seal on the show. Yeah. That was three years in. You showed us here. I don't even remember this. You don't remember.

I showed you the photo. I showed you the photo. You showed us a picture of his penis in his hand. Oh, that was like not really. It wasn't. What are you talking about? It was also a picture. That was all of my penis.

what do you mean that was nothing that was my whole thing it was like nothing there you know yeah it's just kind of boring but i i went i went to the bathhouse with somebody last night a friend of mine and say who it was i got it was brian i got changed in the locker room because i was like we're penis friends you can look at my penis i don't he's not going to look but he can be around my he's not gonna yeah he can smell of course it's a locker everybody's penis friends in a locker he can feel the aura yeah but then yeah that's penis partners it's like penis business partners It's not even friends. If you're in a locker room, a fellow commuter.

That's like you're right. That's the guy you ride the train next to every day. You can show him your penis on the train. I have seen some really, really big ones recently at movie theater, urinals and also at locker rooms. Movie theater. There's a movie theater downtown where the urinals are really, really close to each other. I went in there and saw bottoms.

They're really, really close to each other. No, buddy, you saw fronts. You saw a man's penis. I saw many fronts. And I was sandwiched between, and there's no way you always have to look at the guy's penis because you're right. It's way too close. You can look forward. But my peripheral vision is picking up information.

Yeah. I'm not, I do not have a cone. You need blinkers like a horse. I need a dog comb, blinders. Yeah. Blinders. Blinkers. They make the horse blinkers.

I need blinkers. You should have done what me and Caleb did and had two different coffees and energy drinks. But I was sitting there next to. I had so little coffee this morning because I didn't feel like making any. The coffee shop just opened up next door. I was sandwich between the biggest penis I've ever seen, the smallest penis I've ever seen at that. I'm between the biggest and smallest penis right now.

And I was like, this is nice because this is me. That means that I'm medium. I got my penis sandwich between the biggest ball I ever seen, the smallest ball I ever seen. Damn. Damn, one big one, one small one? Yeah, and they're sandwiched right now. My balls have stopped growing.

Yeah. Mine stopped growing when I was like, I think mine got smaller. I think mine also gotten smaller recently. Yeah. I think it's nicotine. Maybe it's the weather. It's all them drinks you guys are drinking right now.

Yeah. It's coffee. Once I get, when I get my first kidney stone. Coffee drinks your balls. Yeah. My first kidney stone is going to be like so horrifying. Especially you know that it'll be the first of many.

Yeah. Oh. You probably have one. You've probably had one for a long time. You probably have a fully calcified kidney. I think I've passed a kidney stone before. No, no, no, no. Because I don't do that and not know.

There is a time. It hurts bad. There was a time where I went pee and it hurt after. My cousin did that and it changed. He's been different. A hurt during. I feel like it probably hurts during and then you see a stone. I didn't see a stone.

Yeah. It probably hurts so bad that you might have a lot of trouble. Yeah. My penis has been hurting at random intervals recently. I've had pain in different parts of my penis before. Yeah. Yeah, due to different stimuli. I think it's somewhat normal.

Yeah, I think it's normal to have basically any type of stabbing pain anywhere in your body. for two to three weeks. Yeah. Yeah, any longer than that, and you should probably see a telehealth professional. Yeah, you might want to go to an urgent care where they don't take your insurance

and then go home. Yeah, and you walk in and you say, I don't have any insurance, but I need you to look at my penis right now. You go in screaming, you throw, what you do is you throw your ID in a plate, like in a lockbox

that you have with you, throw the ID in the lockbox outside of it so that no one can get in, no one can break into it, and then you walk in and you say, you just start screaming so they have to take you in as a John Doe. Oh, I see.

Why not just leave your idea at home? Why do you have to put in a lockbox and throw it outside? Do you think they might notice you're throwing a lockbox outside? No, no, no, no. They're going to investigate this. They would not investigate this. You go in. If someone might pick up the lockbox and take it, why not just leave it home?

Well, if they pick up the lockbox and take it, there's also an air tag in it. So you can go to their house. You know what you can find even easier than an air tag? Your house. I think that's all up for debate. It's always at your address. I think it's all up for debate. paint, dude.

Putting an air tag at my house. Do you think they would take me at the ER if I walked in and told and just said, I'm going to just hold my breath if you don't take me? My little brother used to do that. He wouldn't get his way as a kid. Yeah, is what I mean. I'm not hold my breath! That's what I'll do.

I'll say, I have a scab and I'm going to hold my breath until you cover it with something. And they're going to go really funny, very funny. You can stop holding your breath. Okay, stop holding your breath. Admit this man right now. I think that's how it would go. What you have to do is if you have a minor injury that you don't think they're going to push you up

to the front of the line at the ER for, you just have to break your arm or your neck or something also. You should just... You got a sore throw. You want to get seen immediately. You just kind of... Oh, you won't take me? Yeah, exactly.

How about now? How about now? I just blew my kneecap off. You got to walk in with... You got to slit your whole chest open. You know what you got to, yeah. Your heart's beating out. And you walk in, you say,

I need to be seen. right now. I have a sore throat. It's so annoying. And also, please, can you close us up? The healthcare industry in this country. It's so annoying because the only way to get into these fucking ERs and these urgent cares, you've got to pull up with a squad of like fine-ass women and you got to you got to pull up in your best. You've got to be wearing a, you got to be wearing Amiri jeans and like a like a Gucci shirt and you got to be, you got, you got, you're

standing in line. Like, they're not going to, they're not going to pull you in. They're not going to look at you. They're not going to pull you unless you're and deep with a squad of fine-ass Instagram females. If you pull up in the faded glory, they're going to turn you around at the door. They are not putting you. You got no boundaries on, bro? You got no boundaries on?

Diamond Supply Co. You got Diamond Supplyco, they will bring you in, bro. Diamond Supplyco, you think they will? I forgot about Diamond Supply Co. I was thinking the other day. I saw a kid wearing that the other day. I wanted to buy, me and Neil really wanted to buy like full Diamond Supply Co. Young and Reckless Fits Yeah.

for our that college show we'd have been so sick dude yeah you're wearing like the the diamond supply coatees the ones that had like the little tag right i looked on ebay and i searched young and reckless shirts and it was a bunch of things that were like 75 dollars vintage 2015 young and reckless t-shirt so fun the the the reseller market is so stupid right now it's going to like once this recession fully hits it's going to be so funny i don't think it's going to hit man you think it's just going to bubble's going to keep growing and growing i don't think I don't believe in bubbles. I'm not a child.

I think we're entering a golden age of prosperity. Interesting. Why does everything have to be a bubble, man? Everyone's prospering and buying. When I close my eyes at night to go to sleep, my soul flies high above my body, and I can see this country in the world as if I'm playing civilization. And it's all going all right. And I'm moving everything around for everybody.

Everything's all night long. The economy will be saved from putting. The economy will be saved from putting the word vintage Zumi's shirt. VTG. VTG Zumi's 2017 golf wang. Yes. Oh, damn. I should sell my vintage golf wang shirts.

You should, dude. Do you have any? I think I, I don't know if I had one. Yeah. I don't know what happened to it. I definitely don't have it. The ones from 2012 actually would sell. Those would do pretty well.

I should check. Maybe it's at my dad's. You know, my girlfriend has. I had one that had stripes. My girlfriend has the, the, uh, the fucking from the shoes, like the golf lift lures that she never she wore like one time those would sell pretty well and then she also has like the corneous

like it's like the golf wing like Trump Hitler shirt you guys think I could make you guys it's so fucking funny you guys think I can make any money selling my my five finger death punch shirt yeah actually definitely you actually dude probably know if I have that one either

yeah these kids these kids nowadays it's so funny you see like kids wearing Jankos and stuff and like they're all wearing like the vintage Y2K shit You can sell, like, a Slipknot shirt for, like, probably, like, seven. Depending on when it was from, you could probably sell it for, like, 75. Yeah. And all the, I'd see everyone always selling and buying all the Deftone stuff, too.

Yeah, the Deftone shit is insane. Chill out, everybody. Basically, styling. I want to live in a world where the most coolest and most expensive shirt is a white t-shirt. It is, actually. I'm with you. It still is. It can't be a classic.

It's called an APC, man. I want to be buying vinted white t shirts. I think that. No more of that. I think that basically style and clothing is almost cyclical in nature. Yeah, they almost have a relationship between each other where it's like this, like interlocking fingers. Yeah. Where I feel like stuff that used to be cool and then wasn't, it almost comes back and it's cool again.

Yeah, retro. Yeah, so like. It's completely vintage. It's like video games. It's like how Pac-Man came back into Smash Brothers. Pac-Man was my nephew's favorite video game character for like too long. And then the Mario movie came out and he moved on to that. But he was telling me stuff about Pac-Man.

I think I've never heard. There's a Pac-Man enemy. In five years, everybody going to be rocking full, full asbestos suits, just covered in asbestos, breathing the shit. And asbestos in the middle of the summer. We're not going, I mean, we're not going retro. BPA is coming back, guys. Get yourself a hot-ass plastic water bottle.

Leave your water bottle in the car, drink the plastic that comes that melts out. when are we gonna when are we gonna when are we gonna when are we gonna when are we going to be opening depop and starting to see the listings pop up uh vintage breastplate vintage queer ass vintage gladiatorial helmet they already got that on deep pop man they got that all they got that in spades vintage chain mail i mean this one are we going they actually do have you can buy chain mail in there i actually have seen some people wearing i've definitely also seen people wearing chain mail okay then what about samurai outfits you know what else i saw people wearing chain mail also saw people riding horses we have What if someone pulls up? 100,000 pieces? What if in 10 years somebody pulls up on you, right? And they say, what's up, what's up?

Check it out. I got the wheel on me. They got the wheel on them. One big wheel? And yeah, big, made of rock wheel. And they're going, check this. Check this shit out. Gary Larson.

Check this new wave I'm on. And then they make a fire right in front of you. If he was still alive right now. He still alive. What if somebody pulls up with the aqueduct? Oh my God. he got the aqueduct He got the

VTG He got the sandal He got the wooden He pulled up He got the Sand helmet Damn He pulled up with a

whole ass aqueduct He got the sundial on his wrist Damn son damn you nice for that That's the best gag from Amish Paradise

When he got the sundial on the wrist Well that's Wait Amish people are this Oh my God They don't go far back enough though

But Amish people are pulling up They're saying Check out the The foresight He got a barn we just raised. He goes, shit. Damn, check his new carriage.

It's got two horsepower. Oh, my God. He got the two horsepower buggy, dude. God damn. Dude, you see the Amish dudes, right? You're like scoping out a group of Amish people, right? Imagine this. You're looking at, like, you know how you see them at the bus sometimes?

Uh-huh. You see, like, the big Amish families. You'd be better not getting on that bus, boy. I know. I know the rules. No, but you see, like, a group of Amish people, right? you're like like like six of them lined up six of them lined up one of them one of them is just wearing that rogue status rob dear deck all over gun print shirt that'd be so sick

it's just like well i've actually where the hell they get that spreading spreading hype beastism in the omish community like smallpox yeah giving them yeah do amish people dropping a supreme moody in there. Do Amish people have to be always 200 years behind or are they going to stay there forever? I think they stayed there for ever. So in 200 years they won't be watching SpongeBob episode one.

Maybe. Maybe they... They'll probably still be reading books about SpongeBob like they do now. Reading the novelizations of episodes. Yeah, that is sad as fun. They have to read Fall of Reach instead of Play Halo. Yeah. That's actually sad. I've seen an Amish dude.

I've seen an Amish dude. he had to draw succession. He had to draw Kendall Roy. Really? Yeah, with like a piece of burnt thistle or something. With the with the thistle? With the burnt thistle he had to draw it. Because he doesn't have a pencil.

They don't even have a pen with an ink resamore. No, no, no. I want to use one of these pens. They don't even have a quill. They have quills, man. No. What kind of clue do you want to use? One of the big dippers. I had one of those. Was it amazing? It was so fire. Oh, yeah. Did you feel like Slytherin? I felt so

cool. With the nib? Yeah. I did my art teacher in high school. She let me use those because she said my pen and ink drawings were good. That was one of the goaded things to be artistic about in high school. Learning the pen and ink drawing

with a nib. Oh yeah. Wow. You're learning the different pressures you've got to put on it to draw certain lines. Ooh, I missed that. I need to get, we need to get that. We should get some... I would love to get that big calligraphy writing set. Hill shaped pens. A nip. A nip. The nib, to me, is some kind of bite-sized pretzel.

Buddy? You're thinking of a nibble. That's just my American way. You're thinking of a nibble. That's just my fucking American way. A nib is a type of pen tip. I think I might be willing to get into art recently. I started playing a Japanese video game,

and I think I'm becoming obsessed with Japan. That's one of the number one games to make you obsessed with Japan. Person, yes. You can literally, like, I feel like that is the, that's the like kind of like um uh you know like in a video game where they have the the level save code and you like the old video games you enter the password and puts you right in that safe state that's like playing that game is like that's your brain code where you can like kind of like retroactively create a high school era of weebism yeah just by playing

persona kind of what's happening to yeah i wanted to i walked in here thinking that i was going to start like i want to start talking like the text from those kind of games yeah not like Not in Japanese, just like, hello travelers. I'm here with Patrick, Patrick, Patrick, and Cameron, and here we are, we're doing our work for the day. It just is so awesome, man. It's such a fun game. And I just, it's making me want to move to some very small gas station. Badly.

This is so badly. What are these games about? You're in high school and you're Japanese. That's all I've gotten to so far. I just walk around. They're all different. None of them are connected. They're all just the same.

story in different places. It's all about you're a Japanese high schooler and you find some kind of supernatural serial killer thing going on. I had the same, I had the same feeling that you guys are talking about when I played Simpsons hit and run on the BART mission. He said, take me to Springfield. I was like, man, I want to be a, I want to be a Springfield child so bad. Like a weed for Springfield. Yeah. I'm walking around. I'm like, man, I wish that this was real. You start showing up And just the like

The plain shirts and pants That all this is going to wear I've got my hair spiked up And it's dyed blonde I'm just sitting Just walking around Trying to order a duff at every single bar You go to

Do you have duff? Acting like it's got a pre I'm getting a little hungry Do you have a tamako They have this incredible store in Springfield It's called Quickey Mart Oh, they have everything, going into a 7-Eleven and forcing the guy behind the counter to call it a squishy for you.

Lying on your bed with your feet kicked up in the air and spending all day on TikTok swiping through people doing like, this is my trip to Quikimart, what I buy. This is what Quikimart is like in Springfield. You're watching TikToks that Bart and Millhouse made on your phone of that Quikimart. This is what food is like. Wait, eat at Quikimart for an entire day. okay here's how many calories I ate doing one meal a day

at most tavern dude I want to be there so badly then here's my day does you imagine okay it actually just my heart just broke because can you imagine

if Springfield was a real place can you imagine how ruined it would be by the Simpsons TV show can you imagine the tourists and people would flood to most tavern to they would stand on on Homer and Marges on all day

and look try to look in the windows, it would be completely destroyed. You know, you know what? You don't even have to, this is a real thing, bro. Universal Studios Orlando. Yeah. Oh, true. Yeah.

Wait, that's where you have to go. I did. I've been there a lot. I've been there. I've been there more than, you know, is my ex's dad. He was obsessed with Halloween horror nights and he would fly us down. Wait, so you saw the scary side of Spreefield. Oh, I saw a tree house of horror type deal.

I would go there. My ex's dad would take us probably every single year. That would also be a YouTube short that you'd watch. They'd be like, everybody likes Springfield, right? It's a happy normal town, but things get a little different around October. Have you heard of Treehouse of Horror?

They didn't do enough Tree House of Horror stuff, though. I will say that. I will say, hey, Universal Studios, step your fucking game up on horror nights. We need to do a Tree House of Horror. I want to go back to Horror Night so bad. That was the coolest thing that somebody has ever done for me. Maybe jail cell of.

No, well, no, but like, Like the end of they change all the names. Yeah. So it would be like Caleb Spitz. Caleb Pitts of Hell. Caleb Pitts of Hell. Patrick Doe ran, he ran away from home. What?

Patrick or Treat Doran. Or Patrick. I thought you said Patrick the Treat. Oh, no, no. What is that? Patrick. That's here. We're having some hearing problems.

I thought they earlier you said my Gatorade thing is here. Yeah, I still don't know how you could have gotten. You said my Larry wig. Cameron. Fester Oh Cameron Fester I want to be Uncle Fester

That's good And then we could call the show Like frog Ash Abound Like cast Like cast a spell Like a witch

Oh Wrong cast about Spell cast Tricks Spell cast about Tricks Yeah see This is like our tree

Has a horrid Lips Spell cast about lips Yeah well That would be I guess next month We have to do. Every single episode has to be a treehouse of horror type thing. Pod kiss about lips would be our Valentine's Day version of Treehouse of Horror.

Pod kiss about lips? Pod kiss about lips. That's our Valentine's Day thing. That's what he doesn't. Did you say Treehouse of Horror? Valentine's Day version of Tree House of Horror. What is going on with my hearing today? What the hell?

I think you got too much a variety coffee. I think I did have too much coffee. I had a prime and then a coffee. Listen, I'm all for, I'm all for, I'm all for chains of coffee shops and cafes, but I'd rather have a variety of different local stores than a variety of coffee. Yeah, and Starbucks, I get that you're hiring these stars,

but I ain't giving you a buck for that trash-ass coffee. That's right. Yeah, and Pete's. Why don't you, your business should peter out. Yeah. And Jimmy Johns, how about you, Jimmy your, way over. It's not a coffee shop.

Okay. Yeah, I'll touch your Jimmy and the John. They sell coffee there. Hey, Tim Hortons. It's about, Hey, Tim Hortons. Yeah, I guess if they pay you.

Hey, I'll touch the Jimmy and the John. If you pay me. No. I'll do more than Jimmy John. I'll do more than Jimmy it. Can we go back to coffee? Okay.

Hey, Tim Hortons. I think it's about Tim. Pointing at my wrist. It's about 10 that you whores sell a ton of limonaday instead of coffee. Tim Hortons, this, this Horton tastes a poo instead of Horton, hears a poo. Oh, yeah, that's good too. That would be clear, too. And hey, Dunkin' Donuts, don't even get me started.

How about you dunk yourself into the... Into a donut. Donuts, go on his canal. Dunkin' Donuts, your restaurant's great. Donon it. Your restaurant's great for breakfast, but here's something. I'd rather have lunch than donuts. Yeah.

You guys just do breakfast. It's called lunch and donuts. They actually have luncheon. Why is it so funny to me to call it, to call Duncan Donuts a restaurant? I don't know. It is technically a restaurant. I guess, but just be like, oh, yeah. What are these other coffee shops names?

Because it's all basically. There's Port City Java in Wilmington. There's also Aroma Joe's. Hey, Aroma Joe's. in New Hampshire. Why is it called that? That makes me that you're a fart store.

That makes me thinks that you're a fart store. That makes me thinks that you're a fart store. Or a candle store maybe. Or maybe a candle store. We should name a coffee shop Bean Center.

Oh, hey, the Bean. The Bean. Is that one? That's one. And it's owned by the Jollybee Corporation. Is that true? I looked it up because I went there one time

with Xavier. I don't like that all of the coffee shop. The bean, how about you, how about you how about you be in doll and get the hell out of here why is every coffee shop nowadays is one word called like magnet

and how come every coffee shop just serves breakfast and maybe lunch just give me some spaghetti see the bean doesn't have a pretentious staff or annoying coffee names or boring elevator music because I'm basically done with the pretentious staffs at these coffee shops this lady at the coffee shop at variety

very nice but I said can I get that carrot cake muffin She said, oh, yeah. Well, it's not carrot cake. It's a morning glory. Right. And it's not a muffin. It's actually a schoon.

And I said, oh, okay. Shove the muffin in her mouth. Made it break away all the edges and stuff. You didn't do that. You actually had a good time there. I didn't have a good. I wasn't. You had a great time there.

I didn't have a good time at the new Hitchster coffee shop. You had a good time there. You had fun. I didn't have fun. I said, hey, we got an office around here. And then I said, I'll be seeing a lot of you. And she said that. Yeah.

said, ah, okay. And then, because I'm trying to go on a date. We're trying to, we're trying to develop a community. I don't want to put them out of business. You want to start our own coffee. We said that, we talked about that for a while. We talked about, putting, putting a free coffee. Or a sign that says variety coffee, extra seating.

I have no coffee at all. Just make people come in here and just guys trying to work on their laptop. And we're sitting here just screaming. Yeah. We're made... That would be funny to put the audience seats in here

and says, hey. I do want to do... You need somewhere to drink your coffee? Come on. I want to do like a good burger

or like barbershop style war with the business across the street. Yeah. And we need to like... That's what I thought we were going to do with them. We have to turn into a coffee shop.

Well, we just need to like, we just need to like ruin their business. Could you, you know, it would be so funny is if they were, what if they were trying

to buy this office space for their coffee shop? It's just too small for us. Yeah, actually, there's not two exits. Well, there is two exits, but, you know, it's not. Yeah, this isn't zoned for that kind of thing. Yeah, this is definitely not zoned. Maybe for my eventual kombucha bar, but not for coffee.

What's your kombucha company's name? Tirdshine. Tirdshine. It's not even... Like June shine, but you call it turd shine? No, man. Poop shine. I don't know. I haven't come up with a name yet.

Poon shine? It would probably be called, like, particulate. That's not a good name. That's a good name. Particulate. For kombucha? That's good. Yeah, because it's got stuff in it.

Particulate is not a good name for kombucha because in particular. Particular. There's a problem with small batch kombuches. Particular. There's a really big problem with small batch kombuchas where they have little worms in them. You're a small bitch. I'll shoot you. Because of the scobie.

I was trying to tell you an interesting thing about. A worm is a particulate? I find that to be a worm. If I was making worm, boocha. Vermiform organism, my friend. Oh, vermaform? What is that? Vermiform, worm shape.

Vermiform worm shape. Vermiform form form form shape. Vermiform worm shape. You called it a particulate. Well, you said vermaform, so you also, you went too far. You also went to fail on it. I know, I was trying to get his attention. You did get my attention.

You can just snap him out of it. You can just tap his stuff. I don't want to touch him. You don't want to touch him. So genuine. I don't want to touch him. I've definitely had too much. want to keep my arms crossed all day today.

Yeah. That's what we call bad news. Honestly, I just want to cross my arms all day today. I have a neutral expression. I had a waiter the other day and I was crossing my arms way too much and I got in my head about it and was like, this guy thinks I'm such an asshole. He's bringing me food and shit and I'm just sitting there with my arms cross like a dickhead.

But he doesn't realize that my hands get cold. Yeah. Yeah. I do the worst types of arm crossing in public. Yeah. I look so bitchy. Speaking of you remember. I do weird types of.

arm crossing. I've never seen another human being ever do. Show me. You've seen me do it. I mean, yes, I have. This? I do this. That is pitiful. Yeah. I do this a lot. Well, that's think early. That one's more normal but it's still bad to do it. You should only do that at the library. This one is the terrible

one that I just realized I'm doing it. This is purely pitiful concert goers. It's insane. I do it when I'm talking to people. That's like the... To people I don't know. That fucking photo of Jake in the hard times. Remember that one? Yeah. That's so funny when I found out that was him. That was awesome. I need to be in another onion article. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, because you're, you're, it's just a family

photo. They used a photo from my mom's Facebook. You, there, you don't think that's unlike though. You've never checked the way back machine. You don't remember the name of the article. It was called. Gay guy. Gay family. In family? Family spotted. Looking like shit. No, no. That's not true, man. No, no. No, really isn't true. It was investigative journalism from the onion. It was called like amazing. These two orphans

finally got adopted and then killed their parents or something. It was something with a dark twist. Yeah. And it was like the first couple of weeks that the click hole was open. I think it was click hole. It wasn't the one. It was click hole. Yeah. Dude, you've never thought to look on, you've never thought to look on

the Wayback machine for that? No. They definitely have They probably have it saved from Day one. My mom emailed them and asked them to replace the photo. Whoa. How'd she find out about it? Fucking, dude, look for it.

You told her? My brother sent it in our family group chat and was like, look how funny this shit is. They used a picture of you guys on the thing. And we were like, oh, yeah, that's awesome. And then my mom was like, just sent an email. This is unacceptable. They took this for my Facebook page. And we were like, fuck you, bitch.

This was awesome for like two seconds. Yeah. It made us so mad. Why were they on her Facebook? I'm going to look for. it probably thought she was hot dude yeah it's a fucking smoke show the click the click hole click on her hole what are you talking about your mom like that i forgot i was talking about my mom for a second you said your mom is a smoke show and they're gonna click on her whole kind of blacked out

for a second i'm sorry my sit i don't have a sister but somebody hot in my family imagine it was about that instead warning what kind of warning what kind of bullshit warning is this no okay mr chicago just a little defensive kind of voice no no no is a defensive

defensive miller is that what that was it was a little defensive miller I'm sorry what kind of bullshit warning is that yeah I don't want that warning yeah you got the buddy that warning

that warning is the warning they could have used when napoleon bonaparte was getting fucked by the other army I don't know too much about history I can't really do Dennis Miller

stuff I love all of He just, he always has some very, like, weird reference that he does to, like, prove that he's a smart guy. And I, I hate those episodes where he has Norm on and everything that Norm says, he just goes like, Norm, buddy, you're a riot. He just says that, like, 40 times. And Norm's just, like, talking about the lunch that he ate. Yeah.

And he's like, you know, I had a turkey sandwich, you know. I had, you know, like, cut in half. You know, let me guess, Norm, it was a club sandwich. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Norm. Hey, you know, I don't even know what kind of club it is. Normie, you kill me. I don't even know what club this sandwich is from.

Oh, Norm, you're just too good. It's one of the worst things ever, yeah. And he went on probably 4,000 times. Yeah, he was good friends with Dennis Miller. Yeah. Dennis Miller, you are a conservative ass wipe. I hate conservative ass wipes. You are a fucking conservative asswipes.

You were a fucking conservative. You know, I had a nightmare the other day. About what? I had a daughter. Hey, there's the nightmare. No, it's not really a nightmare. That's the nightmare. It gets worse.

Okay. I had a daughter, amazing life. Uh-huh. She walks in bringing her boyfriend first time meeting him over for dinner. Dennis Miller. Not Dennis Miller. That would have been acceptable. My 16-year-old daughter is on a date with him.

My 24-year-old daughter brought home a white boyfriend. that was your nightmare insane nightmare yeah I'm a liberal Democrat I'm not gonna have this in my you don't you don't want your daughter dating like a little

oh fuck no little five foot two Filipino guys good at pool yes that's what I want I know that's exactly what you want I don't want a white I don't want a whitey coming into my house

they smell weird yeah they smell like butterscotch yeah like PBM walking in smelling like an old book at the library you better not put that Every single white boyfriend of your daughter smells like a copy of Moby Dick that has mold on it. Buddy, if you're...

From being in the library too long. Whatever you do to my daughter... You better do to me. I'm going to do it to you. I'm not that scared of you. Whatever you do to my daughter, I'm going to do to my wife. We're kind of old and we don't know how new people do it. We need to learn.

Whatever you do to my daughter, I'm going to do to my left hand. Okay? So watch yourself. Because that's the hand I don't normally. use. Honestly, buddy, go nuts. Please just do something, you know. Let's do something already.

Go ahead. What are you waiting for? Holding up your left hand. Go ahead. Do it. Come on. Come on. Okay, here, I'll start.

Okay, whatever I do to my hand, let's reverse it. Whatever I do to my hand, you do to my daughter. Come on. What are you doing? He's immediately moaning so hard. He's just immediately like, come on, get in there. What are you fucking doing? You see in his hand, it's covered and spit. Come on, man.

It's covered and spit. And I just ate a lot of, I just ate a lot of honey mustard pretzel pieces. My hand smells like shit right now. Oh, my God. You better make my daughter smell like honey mustard pretzel pieces. I'm going to do so much stuff to my hand that I'm going to want to throw it away after. Oh, what was this? Another hand?

Oh, whoa. Wait, wait. Honey, go. your sister. Oh, wait, wait, my hands. Whoa, what are you two doing? Oh, my God, you're related. Just shoving your hands together. Whatever my two daughters do.

And then I run in, guys, stop. Guys, stop. We got to stop doing that. What the hell? You're going to boarding school. You're going to boarding school. Okay, here go my hands. You already built two little different boarding schools, having your hands walk around, first day of class, a bunch of other hands.

They're both meeting at boarding school, Who have they just met? Two beautiful feet. You're doing like a whole puppet show where like you've now, you've painted your entire body to be like the ground and you're using your feet and hands

to walk around them. And here are my two beautiful daughters. You rip off your button up shirt and your slacks. Yeah. And you've got a whole, you've got the whole city of London because you sent them to boarding school.

Oh, my hands are coming back with British accent. My oldest, is at Big Ben. But my youngest is at the Parliament. Why would that, why would your chest be Big Ben?

I don't know. I didn't think it through. Yeah, why is the penis parliament? This guy, this father's weird. Little Ben. Yeah.

No. Do they have a little Ben in London? Yeah, they have little medium big and extra large. Yeah. The bins are what you call the trash there. Oh, yeah.

If you throw a, like a potato on the ground. Let's talk. Talk about the differences between the U, the EU and the U.S. It does piss me off that they name clocks over there. Yeah. What kind of backwards bullshit is that? We don't even have the name of a clock.

I would name a clock. Oh, that's Big Ben. Well, what the fuck is this then, huh? Yeah. What's this? That's one of one. What's his? Little Caleb.

Hello, little Caleb. Hi. Oh, I guess it is kind of little Caleb. I went to see you grow. Caleb. Eat your bedtime, little Caleb. what's this then watchy hey

oh yeah that's big men so why's this fucking watchy hey I'm watching hello watchy I never noticed you before watchy that's interesting

watchy wants to go to bed watchy's tired why is it so funny to imagine that being alone traveling to London and doing that on like a tour It's like a 20 tours And he and he raised it

At the front Yes you're at the front Yeah Oh that's Big Ben So if that's Big Ben What's this watchy Just doing that Yeah

Oh wow I'm watching This tour's boring The Torr just continues Oh watchy Can we go underground Watchy That is that is

Oh you're so rude watchy Man I want to tell you a secret I say it how it is Just having a clearly Like I see it With watchy that you're like You clearly on the plane, we're like, okay, and when I see Big Ben, I'm going to do it.

Yeah, writing it, writing it on a notebook, just like, no, that doesn't make any fucking, why would Watchie say that? Guys, Watchy's going to be signing on the grass. I should put a name tag on them and you have a mini name tag. Hello, my name is Watchie. Oh, and who's this? Going over to another lady is wearing a watch. Oh, who's that?

Is that Mickey Mouse on your watch? Sorry, lady. It looks like our watches are in love. I guess I'm going to have to go home with you. I didn't book a hotel. Wait, it's almost like we're like in-laws now because our watches fell in love. Yours is kind of more the strong, silent type.

I can't get watchy to shut the hell up. Yeah, I say, well, maybe watchy and you're watching, you know, hang out. Maybe we'll learn something from them. We'll see what happens. See where the night takes them. Somebody's talking to you, they're asking you, at one of the restaurants, what would you like to eat? And then Wachie starts ordering

and you have to cover him up real well. He did not say the 8-5 Wagyu. Watchie, that's market price, What are you doing? Come on, live a little. Shut up, watchy. Okay. We are not getting the surf and turf.

What? You get the turf. I'll eat the surf. Watchy. Shot up, Wachy. You're going to do. The waiter's like, what are you doing? You're like, oh, it's

watchy. Like, if that's Big Ben, then what's this? Watching. Pointing out that we're nowhere near Big Ben. You're not in London anymore. Like at that you're going on a Europe vacation. If that's Big Ben, then this has got to be watchy or some shit. Yeah. It's some shit I came up with in the fucking UK, man. It was crazy

as fuck. I know I'm in Italy, but if we could see Big Ben, this would make a lot of sense. If you know, a Big Ben, he's like basically watchy on steroids, but he doesn't talk that much. But Jackie Chan did a fight on him. And I'm hoping to get Jackie Chan involved with Watchy too.

Yeah, we want a little Jackie Chan on Watchy. It's just a good idea, man. It's a good idea, yeah. I think that, we could even make some kind of electronic watch that maybe it says... Has eyes. Well, maybe like a GPS, man. Yeah. You know how GPS is say...

You can probably get an Apple Watch setting for watching. Yeah, there's an app you can get for Apple Watch that makes watchy. Called Make Me Watchy. Make Me Watchy. Make Me Watchy. It's called I've become watchy. Dot, I.O. Yeah, you have to home brew it.

You have to, like, jail break your watch. And then it's just a little face. Why aren't apps told, not told, why aren't apps, apps titled in the first person? They used to be. Yeah. Jinks. I beer. I. Beer.

Yeah. I watch. But I am. Like, why not. Carly app. What's the Carly? A Carly Diner Dash. No, I Carly's the name of the show.

It would need to be called I.I. Carly. Well, the app. The I Carly was named after an app. Yeah. It was. Oh, was it? And all the phones were pairs instead of apples. It was in

some sort of weird parallel universe. It was an attempt to court the child demographic. But unfortunately, one of the producers tried to court the child demographic in a different way. He tried to go to court. He went to court for... Graphically demoing children. Yeah. He went up to children and he said, we're entering courtship.

I'm courting you. I would like to woo your affections, young lady. He made those children put ketchup on their feet. Yeah. That's a video. That's a video of Victoria. Coria Justice or Ariana Grande. He's like, what are you, buddy, a cannibal? What do you want to eat their toes?

What are you? A cannibal only eats feet. Hey, hey, buddy, buddy. Watchie, shut up with the jokes, watchy. These jokes don't make very much sense. What are you, a cannibal that only eats feet when the kids are alive and only these kids' feet and catch up on him? Watchy, this is not.

Watchy, watchy, you sound insane. Watchy. You sound crazy. Hello? Yeah, I can put you out with Watchie. watch he gets a call SNL audition oh my god

you're standing there studio whatever holding your you're off stage holding your hand on stage he's doing different impressions and shush you feel you know

that's big Ben what am I watchy yeah so we love watching we really like watching I don't know yeah we're thinking about maybe somebody else's wrist maybe John Legend's wrist

maybe we could put watchy on John Legend I mean love it's could come back we could have Love it come back. That's a good idea. Watchy and John Lovitz. John Lovitz. A little bit. Yeah. Oh, my

God. Watchie and Lovitz on the radio. On the radio. No, you got to see. Watchie. Watchie has a face for TV, man. Come on. I say literally a face. Dude. And then, wait. I literally got a face. I literally have a face. Yeah. And I got two hands, too. What about, what about this, man? You see a paparazzi photo Paris Hilton getting out of a limo, right?

Oh, shit. And she has no, she has no panties on. and just kind of hanging below her skirt you see just this I was thinking a different thing where it's like watchy is like leaving a car right and you just see

that you see a walking watch he's gaping hole oh no that's not this is it's not his hole man I'm saying I'm saying what if Paris Hilton shoved him up her fucking pussy then where's watchy's genitals inside of his body he doesn't have his whole body his entire body is a genital his entire body is a genital

That's what I'm saying. Interesting. He could please women by being shot up inside of them. Okay, so this is his face and then the back is his body. He doesn't need, he's a watch. He doesn't have a body. He has a bracelet and a face. Man does he shit and piss.

He doesn't shit and piss. He's a fucking watch. He does not even real. What? If that's Big Ben, this is watchy. That was the original thing. But he's become his own thing now. Well, it's not a real thing.

This isn't true, Patrick. We're making all this shit up, and we were saying that, Do you know what he's talking about? Maybe watch he can, maybe we can find a middle ground. Maybe watch he'll be like, I'll be right back. This guy has to go piss and shit. Oh, yeah. He can still take bathroom breaks, but.

He shits and pisses for the guy. Yeah, the guy. Watchy, watchy shits and pisses. No, no, no, no. Watchy doesn't do anything. Dude, how are you not understanding? Watchy's hands move around. Watchy is just the guy making a voice.

That was the whole thing. And he's schizophrenic and he's pretending that. This is Big Ben. That's Big Ben. If this is Big Ben, that's Big Ben. If that's Big Ben, If this is Big Ben, then what's that? Wait.

Wait, I thought this was Big Ben. Look up really slowly and it's watchy. Wait a minute. Can you take that off real quick? Why do you keep one of my watchy? And by the way, it's a watchy now. Holy shit. Watchy Treehouse of horror vibes.

Is this what my arm would look like if I was dead? Putting watchy on a severed arm. That's actually scary as fuck. He couldn't figure out how to do that. That's how watchy can live. on his own. Just put him on an arm. It's just like that Tales

from the Crypt episode with the dummy. I didn't see that one. With Don Rickles. I've seen maybe two or three episodes of Tales from the Crypt. These days it would be tails with the Crips

and the Bloods and the Bloods and the Crips. Blood in the Crips. Blood on my crypt. They have to have done Tales from the Crypt episode about the Bloods and the Crips. What's scarier than this?

Yeah. Walking around. Wait, what is scary? The Crip keeper. By a bunch of gangs because I'm wearing all fucking pink in the middle of Compton. Honestly, now that I think about it, if horror movie directors,

they're trying to make movies that are scary, right? So every time that a horror movie director is making a movie, and it's about a werewolf or a vampire or a ghost, they're basically literally saying, I think that ghosts are scarier than the Bloods and the Crips. If you're trying to scare people with your movie, and you're not putting the Bloods and the Crips in the movie, you are saying,

I think that a ghost or a vampire, vampire is scarier than violence on the streets. It's exactly like Freddie Kruger, though, where you make, they're only scary and they only have power if you give them power. They have plenty of power. Well, we used to have vampires. Now there's so much fanfire about Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, and Olivia Rodriguez. Justin Baybier.

Baybier. There you used to have vampires. Now there's fanfire about Justin Baybier. Olivia Rodriguez-Rangar. And a bear. I'm watching the bear. The bear on halal. On hale.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Why do you keep saying halal? Hululul. Can't really do it with Hulu. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. I'm watching. I'm watching.

What? You're watching Hulu. It's a TV name watchy because you watch. Oh, my God. Hello. Watchy. It's like Garfield tale of two kitties where There's watchy, and there's watchy.

Yeah. Is that way? Watch is it. Changed places. And then he tries to put the TV around his wrist. Uh-huh. That's sucking your watchy. And then the watches on the wall.

Right. They switch places. They switch places and no one can tell. Freaky Friday. Watchy Wednesday. Watchy Wednesday. Watchy Wednesday. Watchy Wednesday.

Holy Christmas. That would be, okay, if you in, in, in, in, in real, though, if you did. I'm just saying Hulu over. Blue over again because I'm trying so hard to think of another streaming service fun, but I'm so tired. To be? No.

To be or not to be? Hello. Blue? To be or not to be? This sucks. Let's take it to the max. This sucks. That's horrible.

That sucks. Man, what an episode this was. To be or not to be? To flex or not to flix. Net? Not to flicks. Net. Nettoflix.

Nettoflix. Well, what's another one? I mean, you know. Prime. Fobbo. This is hard. All right. Is that time?

Is that what we're doing? Yeah. We do have, uh, okay, come to, if you're in New York City or if you're a freak and you want to travel. Travel. On October 20th, October 20th at Littlefield, we have a show called World's. biggest underworld's biggest mummy

and it is a tree house of horrorification of our sketch group world's biggest army so it's almost as if you

it's a parody yeah yeah so the funny already starts at the beginning yeah the funny starts immediately so if you like

shit like that and if you like stuff like Hulu and Walu and Wachey if you like stuff like Hulu and watch you do not come to the show

because it will be a completely different type of scary humor I think I might be writing a watchy we will be putting a watchy Easter egg in the show. Watchy could actually be great.

We should just do watchy. We'll do watchy. Didn't we do that last time we had a sketch that was a direct rip of something from the show? What did we do? Watchy? I don't remember. But also, I will be opening for Girl God on November 5th in 2023. Shareholder.

And there's a shareholders meeting on 28th. 28th. Come through. Just get your ass in the call and come through. and bring your good cue for us to add. Yeah, we will answer. So basically what the shareholders is is we do a little fart like that.

We do a thing and then, I mean, if you're already paying for this, you probably know what it is. And then we do a Q&A thing at the end. Okay. Do we have anything else to plug? Jubilet Timber. Jubio Timber is still going.

It is over. It's over. It's over. It's almost over. I really don't want you guys to have your reaction to this fart be recorded forever. No, we're waiting.

We're waiting until we have to react to it. You're not going to get all of it. You're not going to get all of the fart. Stop trying to inhale the fart. It's not going to work. I filtered the entire thing away. I've filtered. I've filtered all of it.

It smells. All right. You're reacting like a cat. All right. Bye. Good night, everybody. Bye. I really enjoyed reading about all your adventures on the blog.

It's super hot. The fact that you escort me and that I have the opportunity to be with you makes it even hotter. I just like the whole experience in general. In fact, I get most of my clients either via this blog or via my profile on our escort website. Kevin booked me for an hour. He actually considers himself a groupie. I like that. So here's a photo of him and, of her and Kevin.

I have censored it. This is an example of a standard sex job. This is, I'm guessing, as fat as you can possibly make your character in second light. Walking around, I've not seen pretty crazy with it. I've not seen anybody have this kind of body. but the uncensored photo he has a bright pink little tiny cock and she is holding it and there's a lot more photos from this from this engagement and I would really like really quickly like to say so her services cost a thousand linden an hour okay what's that in real life

dollars how much is so I looked it up a thousand linden is three dollars for $3 an hour. She has sex with the guys that don't look exactly like George Clooney. Here's another one. One of my regular clients is very imaginative and a bit of a pervert. Every time he hires me. You think this is, oh, it could be pervert one. Every time he hires me, he comes up with another kinky thing to do.

For some of his dirty fantasies, it would be rather difficult to find a non-professional partner. That's a job for a professional sex worker. The last time I met him, he made me kneel in a dirty stall of a pig's die. I sat right between a couple of pigs to serve him as a dirty sex toy. I had a long shower after that one. And let's look at a photo from this experience. Sex in a pig's guy. Fucked in a pig stye.

She's having... But the pigs are there. There's...