Podcast About List - UNLOCKED Premium #267 - Our Worms Were Up

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

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One night stand home. One night stand home. One night and one love for the memories, even though they want so great. He literally looks like he, he looks like in an anime, when a character comes out of a video game, he looks like he came out of Animal Crossing. He does. You know what it is? He's the same problem is when they make Tim. Turner into 3D for

Jenny New York. He literally looks like a bulldog that came out of out of Animal Crossing. He belongs in another dimension. What does he look like? His name is stump. I saw a picture of him recently.

He was definitely I'm pretty sure. He was definitely engineered to be a lunch lady. It's so fucking funny that he's like the main guy. Well, it makes it makes sense. They had to get,

they had to be like, okay, they're from Chicago. He's just like a normal looking Chicago guy. He is not normal. There's a million guys that look like exactly like him in Chicago. Make Pete the fucking frontman.

I know. And he would have him lip sync. I mean, he wasn't the front man. That's why it's so funny. Stump was a front man. They literally, everybody's like,

okay, we don't want him. We won't even talk about him. Yeah. Yeah. What was that? The bassist who looks like, yeah.

This ain't a scene. The whole music video for that is about Pete Wentz's dick pick leaking. All the music videos are about Pete Wentz also. Yeah, because he's awesome. Because he looks like Billy Zane. Yeah, they got that one. He's the star of that one.

He's not the one in, no, sugar we're going down. And thanks for the memories, he falls in love with a monkey. Yeah, sugar we're going down is the deer boy. I thought the deer boy was, oh no, you're right. I have an encyclopedic knowledge of follow-up boy music videos. Thank you very much. I didn't watch. What's the music video for Swing, Swing by All American Rejects?

I feel like that's also a deer. boy or am I just getting a mixed up? No, you're getting a mixed up. What happens in that music video? I don't know what happens in that one. I feel like that one's similar. Move along is him doing, he falls into the pool at the end. In my brain, and then tonight he has a fireworks. The entirety of the move along music video is him looking down and then looking up at the camera whenever he has to say a word. I love that and he's a doctor. That's probably one of my top ten favorite bands of all time. Respect for saying that. I can't, I can't cap. Yeah. They're good as fuck. What's your most

embarrassing band you like? I don't think I'm embarrassed by any of them, man. Really? Yeah. Then you... It's because you don't like the stuff that you think would be embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah, you don't have...

But you don't like Fall Out Boy, right? What's something... I really like Follow Boy. But what's a... I was obsessed with them when I was a kid. No, no, no. I actually never listened to Fallow Boy growing up. I thought they were whacked.

I thought they were gay. But I loved Panic at the Disco. I loved Shill that were going down. I loved that song, but I was like this band is stupid. Painting is... You know what? It was fully was because of the fucking guy. was ugly.

If you asked me that when I was 16, if I would say follow-a-boy, but now I don't care. Yeah. I loved painting of the disco. I don't have a thing like that anymore. I still like MCR. I loved, uh, fucking, what's his name, Davy Havoc, A-F-I. Oh, yeah. A-F-I was awesome, but I liked it, the old A-F-I, and then I love that.

I haven't had that in a while with a band where they put out something and I'm like, fuck this. You know what? I think my most, but my probably might, well, I'm sure actually there's a lot I think almost everything I like is embarrassing. But one embarrassing music-like tendency is that I love when a band that was around a long time ago puts out a new album and it's shitty. Yeah. You know what I mean?

You like the new album? I always like the new stuff. Did you like the Mayor Pete Challenge song? The what? Mayor Pete Challenge? Because that's Panic at the disco, right? Brendan Uri. I think that might be Brendan Uri's solo.

I never listened to Panic at the disco at all. Dude, but they had hell of verbose titles. Come on. The most fun a girl can have without taking off her clothes is lying. Like, I was always the type of guy where I'm like, oh, like, I liked, I like Corn's like 10th album. Yeah, that's awesome. You know what I mean? I do remember the Slipknot.

I never like Slipknot and then the one that came out where they're in the field on the cover. I all hope is good. I was like, that is a badass album. That album is cool. Yeah. That's, and it used to be with their worst one. Yeah. Well, that's the one with psychosocial.

Yeah. That's when I got into them. That music video was on fuse. That music video was fucking sick. Dude, we don't have music videos anymore, and that's why there's so many mass shootings. Me too. I agree. I agree.

It's a huge part of it. Yeah. You have what? You said, ma'am. I know. I lost my body. So you don't like match. What did you say?

I said, we don't have music videos anymore, and that's why there's so many mass shootings. I agree. I love math. I know. Whatever, I didn't process what you said and whatever it was, but I was trying to process it. And it's out of my mouth to try and figure out what you said. So I'm glad I didn't finish it because I didn't. They call them, interesting, that's a close one.

They call them fucking visualizers now. I fucking hate that. It's just like a video. Well, no, they'll put out, they'll put out like a song and then they'll make a full music video and then call it like a visualizer. Like I saw this the other day. It was fucking, it's just like they just have like the artists sing in like a, like a room. They don't even do like they had pink panther as a visualizer and it was just her singing. I'd like to visualize her.

Dude, you know what? Can I hear. Here's my other. Here's what else I think it's wrong about. Wait, you're visualizing her with me too? Dude, Caleb, get it. Dude, I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I just matter in my visual.

Here's the thing that pisses me off, right? Thris. Hey, Thrice, he's open for Adam Friedland. Do you know who that is? Ew. Go ahead. You know, like on YouTube, when a band will play in a studio, like K-E-X-P or audio or something like that. And I always am like, okay, I want to listen to these things.

things and these things are recent so they're when they have bands that are older bands the bands will be playing their newer music in this and i'm like fuck off bro when i see when i search built to spill k-exp yes play fucking carry the zero i don't give a fuck play the plan right play the fucking plan i don't want to hear this other shit bro play all the plan play your old stuff exactly or i'm a spill all over you yeah i've got some that'll build to spill interesting thing to say my glock and they used to have you know what rap me music videos used to be so awesome the MTV sucker freak countdown the first time I saw the

international players anthem music video UGK and Outcast and it's like a 15 minute video and it's Andre 3000 getting married and I thought that was the coolest thing ever and now what you're waving your guns at the camera and sagging your pants

now it's like now it's all fucking they just take the album art and then they like make it so it looks like the guy is moving I know I fucking hate that bring back music videos I do agree

music videos need to make a huge comeback virtual insanity are you kidding it's the best music I watch that works every couple months fat lip

yeah yeah that is the is the ideal here's the here's the format the format is always you need

one or two minutes at the beginning of the music video that have nothing to do it's not the song yeah yeah it's establishing what the music video is going to be

Hey, buddy, watch my call. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. That's why that's so awesome. Because you have to have, you can't just jump into it. When he's walking the dog, you know what I'm talking about? That's probably one of the best parts of a music video also.

The animated thing and then the bullet. Yeah. Dude. They were sick. No one does that anymore. No one does any. Youth of a nation, POD. Yeah.

Amazing. Uh-huh. Dude, let me think of more. I mean, there are music videos. But fucking YouTube and Vivo ruined it forever. And now we don't have. No, you're, you're a, it's, it's a, it's a, it's sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's Mr. Deerdeck.

No, this is a ratio. He's on MTV all the time. No, you, no, Vivo was a second win for music videos. That's true. Yeah, Vivo saved the music video. Oh, telephone was the greatest music video ever. Okay, her music videos are upper echelon. She's the number one music video star. I love Lady Gaga. So good. Every single video she put, just dance. You know what, too? You know who's doing the most music videos besides like big ultra pop people? I feel like there's a bunch of music.

videos, a bunch of metal bands and hardcore bands like they put on music videos. And look, I'm sorry to say it, most of them suck ass. They're so bad because what happens is they hire their friend who thinks that they're Ari Aster. Yeah. And they have a music video where the band is playing in an abandoned mansion.

And then there's a guy who wears a mask that goes like this. I like Kill Switching Gage. We've seen it all. Who were the fucking... Who were the great music video directors? But that's the other thing. I mean, you gotta be. Spike. I was about to say, bro. I was about to say pavement, shady lane.

Spike Jones. Spike Jones. And the last good music video, I feel like that came out wasn't even a music video, was that Apple commercial with FK. Twigs. With the fucking pushing the room. Remember that shit? That's like the coolest thing I've ever seen. What else did Spike Jones make? Spike Jones made his first music video, Sonic Youth 100%.

I think it was what it was called. The one that's like, I can never forget you. He got Jason Lee in that music video. And guess what happened? Jason Lee went to mall rats. And whenever a music video has an act. in it, bro, Mr. Brightside, Eric Robertson. Yeah.

I was watching that the other day. I literally, I was having, they used to put people in there. I was having this thought the other day. I was like, just watching just music videos like, dude, what's that other one? He's also, I got so, but I don't. They had the boomerang fight with those women. That's one of the best things ever. One little slip, bare naked ladies with the chicken that's running around.

From the movie chicken little. No, the movie, that's a tie-in song. And again, We used to have tie-in songs for music videos. Dude, but no, no, no, no. The tie-in stuff for music videos is what is part of what killed music videos. Because I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I did this multiple times. They did it even back in the day.

They did a tie-in music video for my plague with the Resident Evil movie. No one wants to watch the fucking Resident Evil movie. I listen to this. But they did on their, I want to watch the Resident Evil movie on its own. I want to see them both. But they did, this is the evil one, which is, I feel like this is what. bands do now is they did the slip not did a music video in uh I guess it was 2019 for uh for uh one of their songs and it was like new music video for this song

and it was like a little bit of live show footage interspersed with 60% of footage from the boys oh oh the boys it was for the it was for the premiere of the boys it's like it was their new it was like their first album in five years and that was a music video they put out it's like you're putting this shit out like this is you're putting this on your i'm not there should be an Occupy Wall Street level. Fucking Billy Butcher? Yes. In your video, bro?

We need to organize a massive protest across America to MTV. Take down, listen, we're taking down Confederate statues. We're taking down union statues. Any statue on in America is going down. Until we get music videos. Until we get music videos reinstated. What about fucking tool, bro? Stink fist.

Yeah. Oh, they're visual. Well, they had visualizers. They were just like the, you know, the fractals and stuff pulling in and out. But they had the stop motion. Oh, yeah. That's what I'm saying. What's the, even Stink fist. Dude, OK Go,

one of the worst bands in the world. You like those music videos. Careful now. Those music videos made me like those songs. It's Stockholm syndrome. You used to get Stockholm syndrome into a song. Okay, Go was the treadmill. Yeah.

Yeah. I remember they did that live. They had a Rube Goldberg machine, too. They had a Rube Goldberg video. That shit is so cool. Their M.K.Go's music videos were so fucking good, but all the songs were just like such shit. Here's another embarrassing man.

AJJ. They had a music video that I, I thought it was pretty funny where they did a parody of the OK-go treadmill video where they're on treadmills and they're doing

nothing that's impressive they're walking on the treadmill and they switch places. Even that. Even that's funny. I know that's funny. I think that's good.

They were in a big warehouse and they had a camera on a crane and they just switched shirts. Eminem Toy Soldiers. Eminem Toy Soldiers. That's a fucking crazy good video. I mean Eminem had an amazing music video. Yeah.

Lincoln Park, bro. Yeah. They used to just have like you'd be in a PlayStation 2 game. Yeah. And it would be so fucking cool. And now it's like, we're just going to put the album art out. We're going to put a little, we're going to, it's like a...

You know what? The beginning of the end for music videos. And a lot of people disagree with me. But it was Gautier, somebody I used to know. Because that's a music video where nothing happens at all. Trash music video. It's a trash music video. Great song, though.

Amazing song. This guy's voice, I mean, and that guy did the coolest thing ever of make one song. That's so cool. Yeah. Nothing else. after that. Maybe some festival stuff. A billion views on YouTube and then kick rocks back to Australia.

My own worst enemy. Your own worst enemy? My own worst enemy. What's that one? Song go? Bowling alley. Oh, yeah. Bowling alley, bro. See, even bands that don't have any other good songs. Yeah, they used to have good fucking videos. They have an amazing music video. You could have a, eh, song.

That with a good music video would become the number one thing. I'm sorry to keep going back to Slipknot, but bro, duality. Slipknot, the one where they ripped it, They'd rip up the house. All the fans break the house. Yeah. They don't break houses anymore.

Never. Trying to think there's one music video that I was, like, obsessed with. Gangnam style. Yeah, I think it was Gangdom style. I mean, that's good. That is objectively a good music. Yeah. California girls also.

Yeah, there's a great video. Yeah. Because of boobs. God, there just used to be amazing videos. And then they saw what, you know what it was? It was YouTube itself. Mm-hmm. The YouTube.

Monkey Polly. Huh? Lyrical Lemonade. Fuck that fucking guy. What's the name of that fucking, that white bastard that runs Miracle Lemonade? I don't know, this Anthony Fantana? No, man, no. The fucking, uh, fuck, what is his name?

What is his name? The fucking Pete, Dylan Bennett? You're rocking with Anthony Fantana? Not Dylan Bennett. Cole Bennett. Cole Bennett. Oh, the guy who does the drop. Yeah, that shit fucking sucks.

That was that. That was that shit where it was like that. That's a water bottle next to the water bottle. Pick it up. It could be dripping. No, I'm not going to pick it up. amazing music video. It's a foot away from the outlet.

An amazing music video. The band keeps popping up at electricity. The Cole Bannick guy piss me off within like fucking. Your mom gave you something. Yeah, that's crazy. That worries you. He pissed me off within like three months. Yeah.

Which is like crazy. Yeah. The guy who does where he makes their, he does scribbles on their eyes and he gives them sharp teeth and stuff with the rotoscoping. He does like the worst rap music videos of all time. Yeah, they suck. And he'll get good songs and then he like poaches them.

and it's like let's do the worst music video ever and we're going to film it all in one hour and it just sucks I think he also only records on iPhones dude fuck you man oh I know this style every person who only records on iPhones

can't afford to record not on an iPhone and they do it because they're it's they do it too that master who makes all those movies fucking Harmony Corinne directing gold on the ceiling by the black keys That's a great music video. You know, it's a good music video?

Map change every time I die. It's all the guy, people in Buffalo, New York, and they're all, they all, the best music videos just show a bunch of people who look like they have terrible lives. What's a song that, if you've ever had a song that didn't have a music video that you always thought should have a music video and you had an idea for it? Oh, yeah. Happy birthday, bro. Happy birthday.

That's me unwrapping my presents. Yeah, but then we cut to AC130 drone footage of just a right at your birthday. It's actually fucking crazy. Yeah, and then we cut to Obama and he's there and he like gets off the phone and he smiles because he called it in. Yeah. That would be a good music video. I had a video production class in school and we'll meet yourself.

That's Julio hitting the MPCs. He's making a track right now. I had my video production class. I wanted to make a music video for the Dead Milkman song, Stuart. It's tight, bro. And I was like I've got this idea and then last minute

I couldn't get anything together and no one wanted to be in it and then I just made a video of my dog. And I had to turn that in. It was fucking bullshit. Every time I get into a band, a band, I will go on YouTube. I search the band name music video. I watch them. Yeah. It's the best. It's the best. Familiarizes you. It's great. I always had an idea for that Jay Z song, dirt off your shoulder. That's me walking into a club. That's cool. In a suit, and I, in a suit, and I look really badass. You know, it's a funny music video? Do you know what I mean? Oasis. I don't know. That's one of the ones from like the 2010s, I think. And it's like, uh,

Liam Gallagher is just wearing his jacket and he's singing and he's just singing and swaying like this and he's playing a tambourine and he's not he's not emoting or dancing at all he's doing Liam Gallagher style and then there's just a helicopter that is flying around it's kind of cool actually it's really cool it's just really funny because it's like clearly an expensive what was the first music video was the first music video the Bob Dylan thing um I don't know I mean it was mostly so music videos happened I mean MTV started the first videos were all British because there was like shows called like the there's a show called the old gray whistle test and then the top of the pops and then bands would be on tour but their song would be on top of the pop so then they would send in like promotional videos so promotional videos were like the start but then once MTV like kicked off and everything bands were like oh shit the music video is actually a really good way for us to get like our song out there so now like we have to now this every song has to have a video and then that's how you get videos like separate ways by journey which is like wrong did you just

get like possessed by the spirit of a vice writer or something because that was crazy i've never seen you talk that fast i bet you could trace it back i bet you could trace it back to silent movies bro yeah because they used to because they said it to music you know what i mean they had the specific specific overtures for it or whatever have you ever seen the music video for separate ways by journey no dude it's so fucking funny it's so clear that they were like okay This is, the song's big, but we have not anticipated that music videos will be the big thing. Uh-huh. And it's them on a loading dock.

And it's like, it's like a really like emotional song. It's a journey song. Like it's, you know, Steve Perry's like, I will always love you. But they're like hanging out at a loading dock and they barely, they're pretending to play their instruments. Yeah. I love that. It's so fucking funny. Can you just pull it out, just show us and let don't play the music or anything.

Just show us because it's like, I mean, you guys know, song it's from yes man the the you know it's a the worst type of music video though tell me is the is the meta music video yeah describe these these with a music video where it is a music video of them making the music video and the executive telling them they have to be sillier yeah uh my way limb biscuit um one of the fucking sum 41 songs has that oh like it's the house so in the video it's the one it's a so yeah yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah well saso is like why don't you uh yeah you need you need to change your whole you guys should go by the sums that's always what it is it's always opens with the band talking to an executive saying you need to change everything

about you yeah there's true there's many of these yeah i don't want to watch it on a music video have you ever seen that thing you do with tom hanks yeah there is one there is one meta music video that i remember growing up that i was like this is the best idea ever and it was the bloodhound gang ballad of chacey lane where it's like uh the the cast or the so it's a bloodhound gang performing the song and then the crew is all like half naked women and they're all getting distracted and like they're like there's stuff happening

I mean specifically the type the exact thing where it's that it is an executive making them do stuff that they don't like doing but the which I feel like is so I feel like the first time somebody made that music video it was like whoa mine lower and then I feel like every band we don't want to make the video oh the replacements did that

they did um they had a whole song senior video and they're like this is you've seen your video your phony rock and roll and then they did i forget what song it is maybe it was swinging party but it's like you still fucking get boners to that video it's a video where they're just zooming out of a speaker and it's in a living room and it's a guy sleeping and like smoking a cigarette but the ballot of chacey lane that video ends with them being like i'm sorry we can't work like this this is disgusting and distracting and it cuts to a fat guy at the craft services table and he's just eating everything

i was like this is the best video ever why don't we start doing. We should become music video directors, dude. We have so many amazing ideas of videos. We combine them all into one. We're inspired by all these great videos. We have do's and don'ts. Let's think what's the most popular song right? I have actually, I've thought of this before

and I don't want to reveal it. I want to, there's a music video that I need to make about us. Yeah. Really? And we'll make it and it will be the final episode of our podcast. When the time comes, it will be this music video. Holy shit. And I'll tell you guys after. I almost want to just end it now so we can see it. Let's end the show,

dude. I just, I need it. Okay, what's the number one song on the What's the number one song? Probably please, please, please, but yeah, that's got a great, that actually has a great video. Didn't see it. That one's, I remember the video for espresso where she danced on the surfboard. Let me guess, okay, let me guess for espresso. So there are music videos, but we're not, there's no, there's no place for it. There's only, there's only music videos, the old music videos are for the most popular of the popular. So right now, right now, the biggest song in the world

is all I want for Christmas is all I want for Christmas this year. So here's what it would be she is sitting there waiting for her Christmas presents to get there. Oh, so the you is about presents. No. And then you watch the music video. And it ends and then and then

he's at the tree. Yeah, keeps being a guy who's like thinks that she's writing letters. He's flying home and stuff right? Yeah. And then it's playing cracks and blows up. No, no, no. And she gets the Christmas tree. And then she doesn't care at all. She goes to the present. Or his plane blows up

and there's an action rescue. And he survives the Himalayas. He survives the blowup. And he has to eat his friend. He survives it. He has to eat his friend.

He makes his way back to the Himalayas yet. That's Christmas. For sure. That's where it originated. Yeah. It originated within the snowing mountains of the Himalayas.

So her boyfriend, her boyfriend blows up. He just doesn't notice. I'm truly, I'm so focused on this amazing video idea. We know your idea, man. She sees the boyfriend. She doesn't like him.

the presence. Yeah. Yeah. The plane blows up. Yeah. He has to eat his friend. Uh-huh. He walks back to her.

She lives in New York. He walks back to her on foot. And then she doesn't like him. And then she doesn't like him. And she does all this stuff. And then she doesn't like him. What's the different? This is the best video ever.

Yeah. We've come up with the best video of all. Seems like you didn't do that much to come up. Yeah, it seems like you just said what he said. I said the thing, though. I said it's about the presence. It's not about him. say that. That was a good point. Yeah, that's the crux

of the video. I think the crux of the video is the Yeti. Next one, rocking around. Yeah, we'll put a lot of money in on the Yeti, of course. Well, we're going to have to spend a lot of money on the presents if we want that it to be believable. Oh, no, you just have boxes. They're wrapped up. No, because Mariah Carey is not, you're going to look at her and be like, she's going to be getting expensive stuff. And at the end, the directors

probably have to keep all the presents, too. What's in the fucking box? We can put that clip in. A steam deck. And it's a steam deck. And she starts emulating We don't know what this is. I can't tell you. Rocking around the Christmas tree. I don't want to...

These are all Christmas. Yeah. Can we do a non-Christmas? Can we do the top? Can we do Billboard Hot 100 from 1917? Yeah, let's see that. I'll figure some music videos for that. That was then, back then, it was probably a literal billboard.

Yeah, that's probably the... Probably, though. Okay. I do inflation is probably the hot 10 trillion. Yeah. Oh, wait, no, it's probably the hot one. Yeah. Okay, just search Top Song of 1917.

I just remember this is what I would look stuff on. Oh, it's pineapple. Yeah, see, it's just not very skilled at Googling. It's probably Pineapple Ray. They had a top 40 in 1917. Or Ray is over there. Okay, so the video is about someone who sees something. And then American Quartet over there.

Oh, that's that. That's like, oh, wow, look at the third one. At the Darktown Stutters Ball. Missouri Waltz, hushabai, my baby. Oh, this one's. The Star Spangled Banner was number 10. Can you imagine a time in this country when the Star Spangled Banner was the number 10 pop song? Yeah.

I could imagine that. Over there is a song about... One good cover is all it takes. Over there is a song about World War I, I think. Oh, okay. What else we got? That could be an interesting video. I passed by your window.

Can you play over there? Oh, Johnny. Oh, Johnny, oh. See, goodbye Broadway, Hello, France. That could be a panic at the disco. Yeah. Yeah, that is. That's true.

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag. These are awesome names. I pass by your window. Gems from Zekefield Follies of 1917. What kind of a name is that? Smiles by Lambert Murphy. Smiles. Oh, my SSI, SSIPPI.

That was number 28. Wait, these are literally, these are, O'Brien is trying to learn how to talk Hawaiian. O'Brien is trying to learn to talk Hawaiian. They go wild, simply wild over me. All the world will be jealous of me. Take me back to dear old blighty. Oh, I know that one.

That's at the beginning of the queen is dead. The 40th one is smiles and chuckles by the six brown brothers. Okay. All right, go. We want more of these. Smiles and chuckles by the six brown brothers. Oh, Al Jolson. Yeah, Jolson's going to be on there.

Yeah, someone else may be there while I'm gone by Al Jolson. Do top song of 1929. Top songs. Let's look at the evolution. We'll go every 10 years. Yeah. Top 50s pop song chart for 19. Making whoopee by Eddie Cantor.

Whoa. Oh my God. This is really a huge chain. This is a gigantic thing. I've heard. You're smiling. More songs about smiling seems to be the main thing for the Sweethearts on parade.

Tiptoe through the tulips. That's a classic. Great Day by Paul White Man. Waiting for the Trane. Al Jolson Little Pal. Wow. Little Orphan Annie. College Medley Fox Trot.

The Moochie. By Duke Ellington. Interesting. Tiptoe through the tulips again. I mean, there wasn't really, I mean, everyone was just covering other songs. Trubidor. They really didn't start making original songs until like the 1970s. Yeah.

Like Ted Weems, Piccolo Pete. I lift up my finger and I say tweet, tweet, tweet. Stanley Lupino. Interesting. All right, do 1939. I'm sure it's like anything goes or something. I'm sure that the top songs from 1939 is everything that's in Fallout 3.

It's so funny that they're all about smiling. Yeah. Smiling was pretty new. Over the rainbow number one. And not the good one with Israel, by the way. Yeah. Strange fruit. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Beer barrel polka, roll out the barrel. South of the border down Mexico way by Shep Fields in his rippling rhythm orchestra. Three little fishies. Oh, my God. Louis Armstrong, when the Saints go marching in, was 18. That is crazy, man.

At the Woodchopers ball. Your feet's too big by Fats Waller. Little Brown Jug by Glenn Miller. I know. Another over the rainbow version. The lion sleeps tonight. Oh, yeah, the ink spots. What's that?

That's follow. three. Oh, you know all this shit, don't you? I don't know all of it. Two Sleepy People by Bob Hope and Shirley Ross. Now do the top songs from 3,050. See if there's anything up there. Probably back to smile. It's going to loop back around. Yeah, it's going to be more smiles and chuckles by the six electronic brothers. Yeah. Just electronic covers of all these songs. Yeah, they should invent electronic covers. I'm sleeping there. Yeah. They did that. That's how they did.

heated blanket that's how they got all the oh heated blankets i thought you meant that you were talking about miss wendy car it was so cold yeah how cold was it i took the blow dryer and i've shot it into my covers this morning because i really can i say this what maybe it reflects on me i feel like it reflects more on you and i just want you to know that when you said that i thought you're going to say you shot it up your ass me too that was what we thought you were gonna i thought you're gonna i didn't even have to talk to him to know that he also thought that i just want you to know I want you to know that that is, that that's where my, I get it. And I, like I said, that definitely could be colored by the way I think, but I think that, um, I, I'm wondering what you think, what kind of satisfaction.

His dryer was colored by the way he stinks. Okay. That's a little mean. Yeah, that's mean. So, you think he stinks so bad, he colored the dryer. I think I color. It's not even touching me. It's far away shooting air. Yeah, it melted onto it. It colored it with brown. If I did that, if I were to do that. Yes. What. Yes. What. Yes. What. joy, what pleasure, what utility do I get out of shooting hot air up my house? You know, I don't know. It just seems like something you would do and then talk about. You really, you think that my,

my habits are so strange. To the point where it might even be that it's, you get excited to tell people that you did it. You think my habits are so strange that it wouldn't be bizarre for me to say that I shot hot air

up my ass. And I'm thinking that it would have to be with a funnel. I'm definitely not saying it wouldn't be bizarre. Yeah. But it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for me. No,

would not be out of the ordinary. You would come in and say... If there was predictive text, like if I was finishing your... Okay, let's do it. Here we... Yeah, start a sentence and me and Pat will finish it

based on your personality. Dude, the other day I went to the... Of my ass. Sorry, you weren't done? Sorry. Let's restart. The other day I went to the grocery store and I bought a...

Are you supposed to go or am I supposed to... I don't know. Let's take turns. You can go. Okay, okay. It's clear that that's not something anything I would say then if you guys didn't get it.

Okay, the other day I was looking around my car because I forgot my piece of poop okay okay that's a little bit you know that's too much that's a little too much

okay do it again do it again I would have said like we wait do it one that makes me the same one yeah same one the other day I had to go back to my car after I got home because I forgot my dog see yeah I could see that

I get it now I understand it now we're building a Caleb chat bot dude I went to a restaurant the other day and I had this, you know, I had to order it because it's the first time I seen it, but I ordered a snail dinner. It's my turn. Sorry. It's his turn, man. Okay. Uh, you know what movie I saw the other day? I had never even heard of this before. It's called Dora the Explorer the live action one. Okay. Is that really what you, okay, I'll continue. Um,

bro, I got a call for my dad the other day. He wanted me to send him a million dollars. Okay, that kind of makes me sound cool. Not even that I have a million, just that my dad would call me and ask me for a million dollars. Yeah. Okay, this is... We're not trying to make you sound cool or lame. We're just trying to get... Well, the original one, if we can go back to the original, you guys have really kind of toned back how you think I...

Well, I'm trying to be... That's the thing. Okay. I said a piece of poop first, because I was going off of him putting a dryer in his ass. But look, listen, this is the beginning of the sentence you said. It was so cold that I shot hot air up my... Or shot hot air. You did say up my.

I didn't snow. in my... What was the end? I don't even remember what you actually said. In my covers, my blankets. I think you said up. Up in my...

He said up in my... I think you did say up in my... Okay, well, that really colors the whole thing then. If I say up my... Of course, you're going to say my ass. I would have said my ass if I didn't know what the end was.

But I wouldn't do that as the point. Yeah, anyway, my point being if you're going to shoot something up something. It's going to be your ass. Yeah. Or heroin, you fucking junkie. I would like to try it once. Up your butt.

You go... One time. You'd go up your butt the first time you do heroin. Well, it's not that much to do. What do you mean? I don't know. It's when you do heroin, from what I understand, I've never done. Breaking bed.

You can do, you can snort it, which is just like a little bit, like, dipping your toes into it, sort of. Kind of a riddler just popped out outside. Yeah, crazy. That's a crazy laugh. These fucking kids that wait for the bus outside of this office, they must be, we should get them on the show because they must be saying the funniest shit you ever heard the way that they're laughing out there. The point is

heroin. Heroin. You have the dust that turn, that you mix into the water and you boil it and shoot that. Heroin powder. If you just snort that fucking powder, then... It's the same as with a Dorito, bro. Basically. Think about it like Doritos. If you just have the dust, you're not going to get

that much cheesy flavor. But if you inject it, you might die. You could die. And you probably will never want to stop. But the injection is the really bad thing to do. Snorting heroin, if you told me you snorted heroin once a month, I don't think I'd be that. I wouldn't be like... Me personally? Well, you actually, that'd be bad.

It's someone I knew. Why me, wait, why would it be bad if I did it? Because you freak out, I feel like you could freak out about vitamins if you wanted to. You want, so I can't do heroin. The way that you talk about this aschua gondas soda. You'd be so anxious about the heroin. Yeah, exactly. Like, and you would be projecting that on to me wanting to reflect your anxiety back.

Is I just sitting back and like... He's fucking enjoying the high. Well, no, I'd be on... I'd be nodding off. No, but they'd be on heroin. No, I said like once a month. But if you were on heroin, you'd be like, am I, I'm about to knot off.

Yeah, oh, no, I'm nodding off. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Well, I'd probably do it just to nod off. I want to do heroin. One time. It's, I've always wanted to. Yeah.

It's literally they make it like, and everyone said it. It's heck, sure, but it made, they make it look so fucking awesome. They have not found out a way to make it look bad yet. Oh, no, this guy's home was. You have scabs on a skin. Who gives a fuck?

He's happy. I could do that, myself. I could do that stone cold, sober. I could be homeless with scabs. Yeah, that's fine. I feel like when it's so insanely cruel that there are like 10 things in this world that if you do them once, they're so good, they ruin your life. I know. I mean, it just, you know what it actually proves?

I think that the human body is not fully evolved yet. Definitely. Because we just, we literally have the ability to feel joy that is so pure that it kills. kills us. And we're, and we shun the people who try to do that. All the joy. And we, these people who have experienced more joy than we ever will in our entire lives. We shun them and we say, you're dirty junkies. Dude, isn't it crazy? We have to get everyone on it. Isn't it crazy that you, you basically, your entire life is about trying to be happy and have fun. But if you, you can find a way to do it so good that it burns your brain into nothing. And it makes

everyone around you upset? Yeah. For what? It's crazy. I don't know. It makes your family cry. The body should be able to handle excess fun. They should excrete it through the skin or something. You should be shitting out the extra fun. Yeah, exactly. This is why Ron Paul should be the president of the United States. Yeah. I prefer Paul Ron.

Who the fuck is that? He wants to legalize heroin. He lives on my street. Really? Sounds interesting. Sounds like you guys have good ideas. Not really. He has one interesting idea. Who do we got? Let's talk about it. Who do we got for 28, bro. 28, 228. We're picking now.

Let's pick. If you have to pick now. Let's see. It's crazy that it's 35 to be the president. What age do you think it should be? 19. 21. Well, you're younger than me.

You want a 21-year-old barstool sports president. They're the only one who's going to do something interesting with the presidency. I want a president who does something interesting. When is the last time we had a president who did something interesting? It's all like, okay, I'm the president. Here we go. Same shit. FDR.

Like, it's like, dude, it's like the Predator series. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Predator one, Predator two. Predators. Talk to me. It's like, this is the same shit, bro.

Every time, it's not until we get Alien versus Predator. Yeah. That's, because look, we got the same thing with the presidents. Predator, predator, predator. Yep. We need someone who brings an alien into the mix, bro. You got what I'm saying? I mean, what we had, okay, so if we're going by Predator, Predator,

let's think about interesting presidents. Lincoln had a top hat, right? He was probably the first interesting. A lot of good that. did him. He freed the slaves. Yeah, he did. That was interesting. FDR had a wheelchair. Yeah, we need prop presidents.

We need people who take it to, like, yeah, who do something new with the format. Obama, black. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Blackness. He was. Yeah. So how many years apart, how many years apart was Lincoln to FDR to Obama? Like 100 each. Like 100 each. 100 each. So are we coming up on our 100th or? Since Obama?

Yeah. you're like halfway so I think by 100 years that would be really hard by 100 years we will have another interesting president actually though

it is not that far off of being the same I think I think I think it was like 60 years between 60 something years between Lincoln and FDR and 60 something years between FDR and Obama so So we got to wait for the next interesting guy.

I feel like Trump is kind of an interesting one too. Yeah, but he's like, he's not as interesting as having a big top hat or a wheelchair or being black. You think Trump is less black than Obama? That's, well, yeah, yeah, clearly is. We're just asking if you think that. Well, that's just a baseline. It's like when they get a baseline. Yeah, I think he's less black than Obama.

I think he's orange. Yeah. I think you put him together. You're going to have Halloween colors. I never thought of that before. Black and orange. And that's what the ticket we need. The unification ticket.

But like, but even beyond just like the, um, appearance or style, uh, or hat. I think, um, chair. Yeah, that was style. Oh, okay. Uh, the, black is a style of president? No, black is appearance. Perth. Okay.

Appearance style or hat. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm seeing the category. Nice try. But, uh, we need somebody who's like, who comes in and is like, you know what? I just got elected, but I'm not even going to be the president.

I'm going to be something. called like the Grandmaster. Yes. Like, I'm not, like, people come in, they become, they become president, and because they're president, they do president things. We need someone who comes in and does Grandmaster things. I'm not a president. Clores, stores close at 8 p.m.

Yeah. Grandmaster says so. Simon says. The legend. Ooh. That's a legend who wears a robe. America's legend. Yeah. Or.

And that's how he gets into the grandmaster. A sorcerer who wears a robe. This is the more of the level I'm on. Tom Sorcer. Don't even call him the president anymore. Everybody should be a judge. different. We should vote on the person and then we should vote on the title after.

That's a great idea. We say we got this person and it's like so then it's like, okay, we voted. We got Donald Trump, right? A lot of people don't like Donald Trump so they could they could be like okay then second voting comes around. We're going to vote him to be janitor. Janitor of Barnes & Noble.

It's basically the same job. That's a good idea. They should do that for every. No, you know what we do? Every person just every day we pick a random person on in America and we vote for what job. And we have vote for what they should be yeah that's cool but until the next time it comes up but what if you would say it never you said do this every day yeah i don't think every day maybe every two weeks every nobody's getting any jobs man if that's your jobs plan as the president is every day will vote for what this one person's

i think what's going to happen i think it's that everybody the world continues the way it is but when your election day comes around that like it will take you out and it will change you into something else okay so everyone gets their own election you can't go against it my idea would is that what you're saying everyone gets their own election day. Yeah. So how many people... Every day there's a different person who's up. My idea would be on a ticket, here's the problem.

It's almost like a game show. On a ticket, a presidential ticket. It can happen at any point. It's random. Oh, it's like jury duty. Yeah. On a presidential ticket, you have the president. The president picks their vice president.

Why do they not pick every single job under that, like one continuous line down to like a baby? Don't they? They get to pick their niece and nephew? No, but they should. I'm saying that goes all the way to secretary of the treasurer or whatever, it needs to go further, way further. Yeah. It needs to be one, like one police officer, one firefighter, one ambulance got, one of everything

down the ladder, all the way down to homeless and baby, which I would say are at the bottom probably. The two bottom two, yeah, homeless and homeless just, just inching out baby just by a slightest. It fucking sucks to be a baby, bro. It's horrible. It sucks. It's a little better to be homeless. I would wrap.

be a homeless adult than a housed baby. Yeah. Yeah. Easily. Yeah. A baby? But a baby born with hair, that's above homeless. I agree. Those kids, that should be, we should have a caste system in the United States that is baby's born with hair, a baby's born with hair. That's crazy. I saw a picture of

a baby on Instagram who had hair like this. Fuck that, baby. That's a fuck, bro. That's Pan's a labyrinth. It's fucking, yeah. If he's got hair, that's this. This is, this is, this is, uh, we should pretend to be a reindeer for the play. Yeah. But for real, how is that happening? Do these women have hair inside them that's like getting caught in the baby's head?

Imagine you have hair in your stomach. I know. Ew. Would you eat hair? Would I? Yeah, I would. Does drinking really fuck up a baby or just make it look odd?

It makes it look odd and it makes their brain smooth. It does really affect their brain. Fetal alcohol syndrome or it's good. I don't remember if it's good or bad. I think it's bad. It sounds bad. It's good when you're doing it. Yeah.

I mean, it's fun. a drink. I was thinking about it and it's like it's just like it's the surgeon general who says that. It's just a guy who's like yeah, don't do that shit. Also you're like I do all types of stuff that people tell me not to do. Why does he get that third? Why do they get that title the surgeon general? It's a cool title.

It's the coolest title ever but it's like he's not a fucking general. Did you know, unless he is? Master chiefs are real ass fucking titles you can have in the house. Really? Master chief. I didn't know that. Yes, bro. You can be the master. Chief, that is cool.

That is cool. That's cooler than Surgeon General. Yeah. Until the day when we have a Surgeon General is pretty cool. I think the only thing that makes Surgeon General not cool is that they're a surgeon. If the surgeon, if there was someone and they were like a soldier, surgeon general, and they were called the soldier, surgeon general. The Soldier General. That's awesome.

But like, yeah, it was someone who was like so skilled at killing people that they would, they called them a surgeon general. And also, I think a lot of times a Surgeon General is not even a surgeon. No, it's not a doctor. Why is it called the surgeon general? Why isn't it called like... I think it's just like probably an old, old time of doctor. Attorney General, that's cool. Yeah, Attorney General.

Attorney General is not cool compared to Surgeon General. I'll take attorney general. The surgeon is cooler than attorney as a word. Except for the things that they do. What does the attorney general do? He decides what is legal. That's actually, that's probably cooler than the surgeon general. Yeah.

I still got Surgeon General. Because the attorney general can say that the surgeon general can put an extra arm on a person. The surgeon general puts all those pictures on cigarettes that have the people their face falling off. I hate that shit. Dude, that shit's cool as fuck. You're a fool. It's cool. I don't want a best gore screenshot on my fucking cigarette.

He talks to the news. He says, wow, we're looking at figuring this out. Yeah, you're right. That is bullshit. He's fucking. The attorneys are bullshit. Behind the scenes, the attorney general is like, okay, Sergeant General, I need you to ramp up those pictures. You think he controls the

Surgeon General? He controls the law. What about the certain general? A certain general. I like this. I'm thinking of a certain general. I like the certain general. I think that that's a cooler name. He's a general of certain things. What about the...

Isn't there a master librarian or some shit? There has to be. There's got to be a master librarian. I think there literally is. It has a great title is Archdiocese. Yeah, that's Catholic. Yeah, that's Catholic, but that's a great word. I'd rather be the Pope.

Archdiocese. Is a diocese? a place and a person? I think it's like an office. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the arched station. The archdiocese is the guy that's like...

He's the guy in charge of the diocese. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Bishop is cool. Archbishop. And you're a chess piece. Deacon is cool.

Deacon is also cool. All those are cool as fuck. Deacon's are poop. No, Deacon is cool as fuck. My dad was a fucking deacon. Bro, there's a guy named... You walk around and you hand out the hat. There's a guy named.

But Deacon is a cool name. And there's a guy named Deacon in Blade, right? and there's an alien named Deacon and Deacon. Deacon Blues. Deacon Blues. Freaking Deacon. Deacon. DeKindle, I read my book on. How about that? No, that's not

very funny, Patrick. Why are you laughing at that? Okay, Master Librarian. Yeah. You came up with Master Librarian. That's cool. I didn't come up with it. What about Master Bader, bro? Now tell me what that guy would do. Fisher General. Fisherman's General. Objectively the coolest one we talked about. Fisherman General.

Angler. They'd probably call it. The arch angler. The arch angler. The arch angler. It's like Archangel, but it has a... The arch angler. The archangler. God, that's so fucking cool.

Well, that's where you get all your fishing licenses for it. Yeah, because right now, who is it? It's like the Park Ranger, Park Ranger. Sheriff, that's cool. Sheriff General. Sheriff is cooler than Constable. No, constable is one of the most badass. things you can be.

Yeah, you're British. Yeah, you're, whoa, whoa, whoa, but you're British. Yeah, sheriff is a hat. Sheriff is fucking bad ass. Constable has the flute hat. But if you guys ever met a fucking sheriff, they're fat. The reason that Bobby's all dressed like that is because they grew up wearing dunce caps and they have to put on a hat that can cover the dunce cap.

Cover the cone that it made their heads into. Who's that sheriff and errors, Joe Arpaio? That guy's still alive. I think he died. Yeah. Did he die? Sheriff Joe. He died choking on a sausage.

Sausage? Dude, Dap me up. Come on now. That's awesome. That's awesome as fuck. A little ass bitch. Yeah.

Fuck you Joe, Joe Arpio. Probably choked on a sausage. Joey choked on a sausage. You ass hat. You're racist ass hat. I never saw such a funny joke in my life. Never saw such a fat piece of shit.

Joe Arpio. I don't think he was that fat. He was. I never saw such a funny choke. That's good. There we go. Yeah, choked on my son. Saucing a funny choke.

Joe Arpio. What was his? whole thing he was the he's the guy yeah he would like spray prisoners with the hose and stuff and like feed them UHF vibes yeah he would spray them with the hose and feed them poop that has carrots in it yeah carrots and peas the loaf and there's also another I kept seeing this uh other sheriff and he looked like Doug dimmedome and oh I love Doug dimmedome yeah well you wouldn't like this guy this guy dug this Doug demadome looking guy in Texas he feeds the prisoners who were in solitary confinement,

this food that has like sawdust in it. And he's like, look, I'm going to feed my prisoners what I want. He's just going to like, on the news, like, getting interviewed about it. And he's like, it's my hell of food. Yeah, Parmesan. They used to put it in everything, bro.

American Parmesan. They had to outlaw it. Yeah. That movie, uh, they still put caking stuff. Yeah. Um, that movie brawl on cell block. Yes, bro. Did you watch it?

I saw a video about it. Who's in that? Don't watch a video about it. I didn't want to watch the movie. Vince Vaughn as a fucking Nazi prisoner. That's Vince Vaughn and like Schwarzenegger and he beats up his car.

Shorneger's not in it. What's the one with Schwarzenegger and Stallone? I don't know. This is, this is a, uh, in prison. What's his name? S. Craig Zoller is the Bone Tomahawk guy. Oh, okay.

It's so fucking sick. He beats up his car. He beats up his car. But the, the dead bodies in, or like the gore is really funny in that movie. It's awesome, bro. It's like, stomps people's heads. It's crazy. He drags the guy's face across the ground.

That is the sickest movie ever. Yeah. Pretty cool. His name is a movie coming out soon, bro. What's it called? I think it's an adaptation in one of his books. That's the other, this guy, as Craig Zaller, he makes, like, movies that are, like, exploitation movies that are, like, on the edge of being, like, you might be a bad guy. Like, all of his movies are about racist guys who are killing people.

And, but he also is in, like, um, um, but he also is in, like, um, um, um, he might be a bad guy. He also writes novels that are like, and then he's also in like a, I think like a power metal band that's called like Realm Grinder, Realm Builder or something. What are his novels about? His novels, there's some that are detectives. There's some that are Westerns. But he likes goryness. He likes goryness. Bone Tomahawk.

Bon Tomahawk is fire. Yeah, that movie is sick. I've never seen it. You got to, he only has three movies. I've never seen anything he's made. He's got Brawl and Cell Block 99. He's got dragged across concrete. Dragacost Concrete

is Vince Vaughn and Mel Gibson and they play cops who hate wokeness yeah they get dismissed from the police force because they brutalize a guy and gets caught on video and they're like

fuck this we're gonna investigate the case ourselves like while we're well we're not allowed to and they kill a million people it's so good it's so fucking good

movies should be that's a kind of movie I want to watch you've got to watch that movie bro and there's a badass fucking killer guy who has a cool ass ski mask

and he kills people Oh, I've seen the clip of him. Yeah, I've seen that. I've got to go home and watch the movie. He's weird. That guy's odd. The killer in the movies is a real bastard. Oh.

Yeah, he's not like... I was asking who the actor was. He's not one of the guy. If you guys robbed a liquor store like that, when you, what would be your strategy? Would you be... Drink all of them at the same time and then leave drunk? Army crawl in? Okay, Army crawl in.

So, first of all, I'm undetected. Yeah. So they go... And they go, that's odd. Must be a draft. Either no one's here and the door open for no reason or a snake may be slithered in. Let me check the security cameras. Oh, it must be a large bug.

It's on the, it must be a bug that's on the lens. I'd wear a snake costume. Yeah. So it looks like a snake is slither. Because then they call animal control. An animal control does not have guns. Yeah. No.

What they do have? What? Those long poles with the loop. They come, I do, um, martial arts. Right then. Knock them out. Take their things. I use them to reach up with the guy.

Well, the guy's like, oh, my gosh. Okay, so first, also in this scenario, the cashier is really happy that I beat up the animal control. Yes. The animal control was a jerk. They were a jerk. So I, outside, I pay the animal control guy $200 to be a jerk when he comes in. Then I beat him up. The cashier says, thank you.

Oh, my God. Thank you. And I said, yeah, no problem. I'm using the animal control stick with the loop. I'm getting the top shelf class d'azzule and maybe some Dr. McGillicuddy's. Those are, you're stealing maybe like $200 worth of liquor. It's not free, bro. It's stealing it.

It's nothing like, what's that is more expensive? What are you going to steal from a liquor store that's more expensive than that, bro? Old granddad. Yeah, something like that. $12,000 bottles. They're not going to have that. They haven't at the liquor store near meeting. If they do, then I'll steal that.

I said that because that's the top shelf thing I can think of. But obviously, I'm stealing the expensive one. You steal the most expensive one. My idea would be... But it's just a liquor store. You ever see one of those videos? Not like a big ice. No, I'm taking them all.

One bottle. You ever see one of those videos where a bear walks into a convenience door and like gets a bag of chips or something? Yeah. It's like walks out. That's what you do. You come in and a high... Because a bear's costume, you can do a bear costume.

It's like pretty realistic. People don't really know what bears look like. Or you can do a girl. And no one's going to get close enough to check. Exactly. And they just, you turn the head away. They just see the body. You walk in and you go straight to the register and take all the money.

Yeah. And they're just recording. it on their phone because they're like this is the craziest shit that's ever happened to me and then you fucking leave you think that's ever happened though like a guy has done this in real life pretended to be a bear and robbed it well we wouldn't know yeah you wouldn't know it's probably all the videos of like a seagull flying in and taking a bag of chips that's probably a guy i'm just imagining that america's funny some videos there's a lot of evidence on there that guy in japan that is like a border oh yeah the realistic dog here's the heist of the century

tell me realistic dog costume like that that guy going in there and then him like you know pretending to be a dog being real cute grabbing a bottle that seems like the same plant as his plant yeah it's just a smaller animal well this one you'd get away with it better I think I think you'd get away with the bear nobody's doing shit with a bear a dog

people smack the fuck out of it who's just man fuck you they're hitting the dog with a broom yeah yeah a bear no you need to be oh that you should be like a lava monster or a dragon because nobody's going to fucking fight a dragon. That's what you need to do.

A full Japanese parade-style dragon that comes in. I was obsessed with lava monsters as a kid. And they don't put them in movies anymore. Yeah, I don't know what that's about. The one from Hercules, bro. Yeah, lava is the coolest, scariest, hottest shit on Earth. Awesome. Yeah, they're not a lot of fear.

I want to see lava once before I die. Yeah. Up close and personal. I'd love to see love. I want to do, I went to get close enough to lava that I can feel the heat of it. Yeah. You don't have to get that. I think.

And you almost never fucking sit. Lava is hard to come by. There's people that cook stuff in lava. You definitely can find a way to see lava, I think. I feel the same way where I think I'm getting to the age where I'm like, now there's a few things that I want to lock in that I'm like, I have to do this. And I probably can do it, but I have to build my life around doing it. Yeah. Seeing lava is a big one.

I want to go to Antarctica. Really? I really want to go to Antarctica to see it. Can you visit? I think that I don't. I think you can visit. I don't, the thing is, I think that you can visit. You also could go work there, and I think you can just get, like, like, they need, like, you know, cooks and, like, janitors and whatever, too, which is not what I want to do.

I'm pretty sure you can visit. I haven't looked into it at all. Probably. But it's like, it's, yeah, it's something that you have to really plan out and figure out. You have any interest in going to Mount Everest? I just found out it takes, like, three months to get up there. Really? You have to stop at every elevation and let your body, like, acclimate to the pressure.

I think at that sounds terrible. Just going on a normal mountain. That's what I'm saying. And also, like, every 10th person who does. it just dies. And these are the most fit people on planet Earth. For me, it's like I would love to go to the bottom of the ocean or outer space. But those things I'm way too scared to do.

But if Antarctica is the one that is doable, I think of those things I've ever interested me, like going up a mountain or... Right. Well, you also don't even like going to a tree. I don't. So that makes sense. I don't know. I feel like there's something wrong with me that I don't want to go to.

I would love to see... You die on Mount Everest. I think you just hang out with two guys who really like trees. Yeah. In like 30 years, there's like all these people posting pictures on Reddit of a skeleton with like a video games are calling, answer, deny, T-shirts. That'd be so awesome. Yeah.

It's like a full, like. You ever seen the pictures of the video, the dead people on Everest? Yeah. And they're like completely trapped in the time that they were, they were in. It's crazy. That's why I don't want to do it. I don't want to see dead, motherfucker. I think, I think Antarctica is the one you can do that you're,

not going to die necessarily. Seeing lava, I think you're good. Touching lava, though, can be dangerous still. I feel like that's more dangerous than Antarctica. Like, Antarctica, I think you just go there. What if it's the one time that a lava monster jumps out through? Well, but then you die. But you can, like, you can, like, fall through the ground and stuff.

Oh, you're around lava. And then you become lava. You also, yeah, it also means that you have to, like, go to a place where there's going to be a volcanic eruption, which I get, like, yeah. Do you want to see a tornado one day? A twister? Probably not. I don't think that'd scare me.

The truth is, I'd like to see every, all of it I'd love to see. But I'd have to, my main point is I've, it's time to be realistic about it. It's time to figure, to lock in which ones. I want to see a lightning strike a guy.

You want to see a penguin. You want to see a penguin. You can just go to the zoo and see a penguin. But those are, that's our real penguins. That's a fake ass penguin. They got, they got penguin.

I've seen in a video. Penguins cannot survive in the summer. I've seen a video of a penguin walking around in our aquarium. That's like going to an Irish pub and Boston. Exactly. Yeah. It's not real.

It's not a real plastic penguin. I'd like to see that. You'd like to see an Irish pub in Boston? That's just depending on the night, there's definitely something crazy going on. Probably not something.

Guy getting hit in the head with the bottle. I'd like to see that. I'd like to see a guy get hit by lighting. I'd like to see a guy get hit by lightning. No, I want to be hit by lightning. I want to see a six-car pile up. You want to see a six-car pile up?

I want to see someone's head get cut off by a helicopter blade. wood cheper. A wood chaper? I want to see a wood chaper. I want to see something like go up. You sound like a psycho. I want to see,

I don't see small animals get hurt. You want to see there? Happy tree friends. That's really what you want. You want a real life happy tree friends for sure. Maybe. You're strange. Maybe that's what I'm saying.

You're fucking strange. If you watch that show. I'll see a guy get put in a pizza oven. No, shut up. Shut the fuck up. I don't see someone get said shut up too so much that ruins their spirit. I'm sorry, bro.

No, I'm just saying, I'm saying, I didn't, you didn't do that. I just want to see that happen to somebody. I don't want to see a verbal bitch slap. Okay, I got one for you. Okay.

Don't do it to me. Because then I would, because I'd have to watch it. You just said you wanted to see it. No, if you don't want it to be done to me. You watch it being done. I don't want it to be done. Go ahead, do it. Watch him.

Okay. Well, you have to say it to one that you have to say to him or Julio. I'm going to say it to you and you can watch it later. Oh, that's right. It's right. It's being filmed. Nice, nice orange beanie. would you do spill orange juice all over your head

when you were eating breakfast? What? Verbal bitch slap. I think that that didn't have so much impact. That was kind of a verbal like tap. I don't see a verbal bitch slap on the Senate floor. That could be good. Well, let me try again, though.

So this orange beanie you have on, this is a shit beanie. And you tried to, you know, you can't mute me. You're in a dodgy orange bitch slap Or the herbal bitch slap So this So you just got my orange Bilsla

You're confusing me So what is orange Besides an orange is my question SpongeBob on a day when he's dehydrated So you just got Bitslapped by him I didn't even have to do it SpongeBob's mom actually The cookies monster

Why was his mom a cookie? Yeah, that's a good point. Why was his mom a cookie? Why are you a cookie? And his dad was a potato. You make a sponge? That makes a sponge, apparently. I guess you're being so fucking just unintellectual right now.

They're literally cookie and potato-shaped sponges. Okay. Beasts for real, bro. Okay, my bad, bro. He's a square, but his mom's round and his dad's round, too. Yeah, you are your mom cheated on to your dad. Dude, it's probably a recessive gene. again please just have some intellectual curiosity here don't realize you were yeah you're

sponge bob's genealogist apparently ocean biologist pays me good money no see that's being silly you're not fucking sorry is he real is he real was he pay you and kelp coins you idiot verbal bitch slap kelp coins they eat kelp so they have kelp coins they eat kelp it's what their dollars are made out of that they make it fries out of that don't make kelp shakes they make the same thing fries and shakes they got two foods in this world can you imagine getting a milkshake and a milk fry and they got fucking kelp cereal

yeah it's bullshit and it grows on the ground everywhere yeah I guess if it's abundant I would use it but you don't want to get a kelp shake and a kelp fry can you imagine getting a french fry and a potato shake or an ice cream fry

yeah a milk I'd like an ice cream fry I guess is a mozzarella stick yeah dude why do I feel like ravioli are just Italian gushers you really think that no no I don't really think that but I do think that a hot dog is loki as sandwich I've been getting a lot of hot dog as a sandwich

type shit yeah just around my life recently it pisses me off bro like how there's this motherfucker on YouTube shorts who's a world of warcraft guy or some show I don't know who you're talking about and his name is literally his name is Thor yeah he seems like a nice guy

but the stuff that he tells you just makes me so fucking mad it's all shit like that yeah his dad is like the guy who he was one of the he was like a high high up guy he's the South Park thing is based off of yeah I saw that

yeah I mostly just hate nerds yeah but then I start feeling bad about it and you watch YouTube shorts and it's like nerds actually rule the world. Yeah, exactly. It'll trick you a little bit. That's what you need more. We need Patrick Bet, David on this show. The type

of... New Patrick. It plays you with Patrick Bet, David. Who's that? You don't know that guy? Patrick Bet, David? He's like the dumbest of all... He's like, if you took Jordan Peterson or something, but he grew up in like the Bronx and just was like the biggest

Yankees fan ever and never went to any school. But became 50 times as range. Did you guys see any clips of Jordan Peterson on Kill Tony? No. Do you see that? Did you know he was on there? No, I had no idea. Oh, wait a minute. Yeah, he's wearing the red on there. He's wearing what of his crazy

suits and it's so funny. He's like, you guys got to check this out. He's like a, he's like a full make a wish kid where someone will do a set and he'll be like, and why are you so short? And they'll be like, do! Like, he's clearly, he's

clearly trying and they just like feel bad so they have to act. They had him. interacting with like Casey Rocket. Yeah. It's like, man. It's so funny. Why the fuck did that happen? Dude, but he's such a genius who's probably psychoanalyzing all those people.

I really enjoy what you're doing with this joke. The joke was really funny. When you pretend to be a crab. What the fuck was that? He is making beats. I fucking knew it. Oh my God. What was that?

I'm not making beats. He's making beats. I heard the smile in your voice. He's trying to make boom bap. right now he's trying to make you do you're doing dilla stop doing dilla right now man we got to end the show yeah you're getting dark you have to end the show well everybody what do you think should we keep doing two in a row i like doing two in a row i think this fell i think it's chill i think it was fun yeah we caught yeah this is i guess we didn't even say that this is the sequel to last week's

last week's premium was recorded directly before this and i feel like it basically got us loose but that's not what you think the warm up and the worm was up no worm up. Yeah, our worms were up finally. The worm was up on this one.

Check out the swag poop. com slash shows for the Chicago show. Yep. And we just bought our flight

for that show so you have to buy tickets to it so we can do it. Just purchased by Cameron on his laptop directly before

we recorded this episode. But we will not be there for the whole festival so we're not going to any other shows, even though there's a lot of great shows, which who is on that lineup?

There's Alan Resnick is there. Some other people that are good. There's a lot of good music on the festival. And I don't know if you can just buy a ticket to the show or buy a ticket to a whole festival. That'd be shitty if you had to buy a ticket to the whole festival because then you can't buy a ticket to the whole festival. I don't think.

I think they are. are just an individual shows, but it's all part of one festival. And I'm going to have something for dinner very soon. When I get hungry, I'm going to get a hungry manned, wow, wow. We just switched three different words are talking, and now the episode is over. So buy tickets. I can't wait for you to be arrested for that to me going pee-wee?

I think that you will pee-wee one. I don't think I'm going to pee-wee. I think stuff is going to go really bad for you. I've been getting... Why do you know it's not going to be... I don't know. I've just been having... Hulio's going to be fine.

Cameron's going to be amazing. Do you guys believe in... I just am getting so many dreams recently about just the worst stuff happening. I was just going to ask if you guys believe in prophetic dreams? Mm-hmm. Do you believe in it? I do.

No, but I write them all down. I probably, like, two or three times a month for basically my entire life, I dream that I get attacked by a bear. It's going to happen to you. I had a dream last night that my brother. All the time. That's probably my most common dream by a huge margin. I had an amazing dream last night.

I had a dream last night that my brother had a taco stand in California. And I was like, dude, how many of these are you opening up? And he's like, dude, we just opened 1,400 taco stands. And I was like, whoa, what's the secret? And he said, we invented. minted a cassidia where both instead of tortillas it's chips and then I was like that's bullshit and then I had one it was the best thing I ever had my entire life yeah and then I woke up I told my wife I was like I think I had the most amazing invention ever in my dream a cassidia where it's

chips she said toastata yeah yeah yeah