Podcast About List - UNLOCKED Premium #321 - The Awesome Podcast Pens

Episode Date: March 5, 2026

This is an unlocked episode because both Caleb and Cam fell ill, I can't remember what the original title for this premium was, though. ENjoy!!!!!Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Hey guys. Yeah, I don't really know how else to say this, but a podcast about list is over. We excited to give you a new episode today. That's right. I'm back here at the studio. I'm completely by myself. I don't know what the hell is happening. Caleb and Cameron are sick, I guess.

Julio, I was going to call and let him know. I told them that I was going to call in some professionals. Please leave your message for... You're weaker than me. I don't know what else I'm going to do today. I mean, I have the old Grover gossip line voicemails here that we could go through and listen to. Yeah, we have good stuff in here like this.

Never made it as a penis man. I couldn't cut it as a poor man's penis. I'm tired of living like a penis man. You stick to set without a sense of penis And this is how you can there is me Show the pen off Okay Oh, pens first

Oh fuck, mine's over there Jump in right away Mine's over there My pin says ask me about my podcast Patrick says What is yours say? On air On air

Patrick says World's Best Podcasts Well I figured I'd keep that one Because I'd keep that one Because these are a gift from my girlfriend's grandma. And I think that if my girlfriend's grandma would not give me, ask me about my podcast,

also did you show Julio his pen? Oh, Julio, you're getting a pen as well. You also got a pen. There's four. That means we need to get patches. Line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line. I think it might be a Spotify code form. It's a reference to Woodstock from Snoopy and friends.

Yes. Oh, yeah. His pattern of speech. That's how he spoke. He spoke in line, line, line, line. You did. Yes. What are you looking at? Julio is kind of, I'm looking at this.

What? It's a reminder on my phone. We're going right into it. Oh, you want to jump right in. You want to jump right in. All right, fine. You're already, wait, you're already two days late. That's true.

I got a reminder on my phone two days ago. Ask Patrick, and I have not dismissed this notification. It's been sitting on my phone. Ask Patrick about his tasteful Holocaust costume. Costume. Yes, because I think No, it was a joke. It was not a costume.

I know. Costume is far from what it was. But, you know, I didn't even read this. I'm realizing I just saw the Holocaust and I was like, I know it's the Holocaust joke thing. And I'm realizing right now that I wrote costume. So maybe, is there a world where maybe we agreed to the joke thing? And then also you said that you could do a tasteful Holocaust costume?

I got confused when you're writing it down. There's no universe in which I was going to do a Holocaust costume. I have a vague recollection. They definitely were talking to the highest degree. In some way, but I don't know that was Patrick's assignment. No. But maybe you had a Holocaust costume we had to come in with. Ask Patrick about his.

I think you conflated two different things. You think I thought my name was Patrick and I was speaking in the third person about myself. I think maybe when you did the text of speech, we were also talking. It's because it was a Halloween episode and we were reading a list about a guy who wore a tasteless costume. Yes. Yes. Okay. Mm-hmm.

So that's how costume came into it. There it is. Okay, so that was what, four months, three months ago now, four months ago? Something like that. We gave you the assignment to do a tasteful holocaust joke. Yes. And I wrote a few. A few.

I wrote a few and I don't, I'll give them to you from most tasteless. Okay. But they're all tasteful. To tasteful. No, I don't think the first one is tasteful. Okay. I think the first one is honestly pretty tasteless. All right, go ahead.

Okay. Let me... Oh, we should have got like 10 rabbis. Yeah, I honestly, if you had get... I didn't know we were going to do this. Or at least some Jewish guys. I was going to go on a... I was going to record myself on a streamlabs calling a synagogue.

Oh, I'm asking. Yeah. I was going to do that. I thought we were recording tomorrow. No, no, no, no. I was going to email them first. I was going to be like, hi. I just want to let you know I'm a comedian.

my friends dared me. I'm not Jewish, by the way. My friends dared me to write. The dare is where it becomes a little scared. My friends tasked me with writing. I think that you know what? I think you could thread the needle of being like, I want to create something

tasteful and meaningful Halloween. Halloween joke. Yeah. Can you help me come up with a tasteful Halloween joke? I mean, the Holocaust is certainly scary. Halloween level scary.

Yeah, it's Halloween level scary. Okay, so there's a first one. Uh-huh. Okay, the first one. Hold on one second. And this is the tasteless one. This is pretty tasteless. The least tasteful.

Yeah. I just read that there were, uh, hold on. I just read that they put Jewish people in ghettos. Buddy, there's nothing ghetto about the Holocaust. Pretty tasteless. I would. Pretty tasteless. Honestly, pretty bad.

I don't even know that that one makes any sense to me. Yeah, I would say that one is less tasteless and more jokeless. Yeah, I think that's like an anti-humor style. It's zero-taste and less joke. A tasteless anti-hero joke. Anti-hero. Humor. Kind of like a Neil Hamburger style joke.

And this is perfect because we did just recently get into all the types of humor. That's true. Anti-hero Holocaust humor. Yes. This is something that Deadpool would say. Deadpool would say, buddy, you can picture it right now. Ryan Reynolds going, buddy, there's nothing ghetto about the Holocaust. But there is something ghetto.

They were putting ghetto. So that is inherently ghetto. Yeah. Okay, so you're saying the Holocaust is inherently ghetto. Maybe we could try it here. Let's not just workshop this. Which is also my friend who I was workshopping it with, Clark Sunderbunnerman also said. Let's move.

Let's just move. The Holocaust was pretty ghetto when you think about it. Let's workshop a little bit. Here's my first pull up your striped pajamas. That's what I would say. Pull up your sagging striped pajama pants. Yeah.

Pretty tasteless. If you're going to go tasteless though, like actually go for it. Sorry. What about something like? They were in that ghetto sagging their striped pajamas. Yeah. Yeah. So that's very tasteless.

Very tasteless. Very, very tasteless. Maybe something about the word ghetto sounding like get to. Mm-hmm. Like get to the chop up. Get to the chop up. Yeah. Get to freedom.

Yes. That's tasteful. That's more tasteful. Yeah. I wish I could tell them. To get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. I would also be German in the... Yeah. Well, that's Irish. That is an Irish. I'd be an Irish freedom fighter.

Yeah, exactly. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. What are you doing here? What are you doing here? What do you're doing here? Get ho. Get out of the good hole. Get out of the get hole. Come to Dublin. And come back to Dublin. Come to Dublin. Come to Dublin. Okay. The next one, the next one. This one. one I just thought was hack. Okay. Oh, this one's hack. Yeah. Fewer, yeah.

When it comes to Nazis, I wish they were fewer. Wait, fewer? I feel like that's been done. Like mine fewer? What do you mean? Fuhrer? Furer. Oh.

No, it's fewer. Mine fewer. Fure. But you said fewer both times. And then right then you just switched to furor. I'm pretty sure that's how it's pronounced. I took German. Fure.

Fure. Yeah, you took it for granted. Fure. Okay. Fure. Well, I wish they were fewer. Hit it again? It's another Irish joke.

I know again. If you're her, yeah. When it comes to Nazis, I wish there for her. There we go. I was asking Siri, what is my contact name? What do you call me? Siri, what do you call me? Okay, and this one is my Dennis Miller joke.

Yeah, dentist Miller. Dentist Miller, I wish. Yeah. So I heard that there were, I heard that there were, I heard that there were capos in the camps. What were they putting them on guitars? Just saying quite frankly, the most depressing version of Kumbaya.

You running out of air on Kumbaya. Because Dennis Miller speaks very fast. Hold on. Let me get my full Dennis Miller delivery. And I heard that there were Kipos in the camp. Yeah. What were they putting them on their guitars to sing, quite frankly, the most depressing version of Kumbaya ever played?

Yeah, that's... Kapo. Kpo is a little thing that goes on. No, I know that part. I'm assuming just context clues, it's a bad guy. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. It's also not how you pronounce it. Not you pronounce it, but it's pronounced capos. Okay. Well, I'm an auto-didact. This guy knows every... Yeah, why do you know so much about the Holocaust, Julio?

Everything. He knows how to say... On the other side. You know everything about the other side. You know, like, certain parts of history. Mm-hmm. Yeah, just certain sides of history. Mm-hmm.

Okay. And this was my most tasteful one. Okay. This is the one. This is the actual tasteful. This is the most tasteful one I thought of. Those were the runner-ups. Mm-hmm.

I can't be the only one that wishes Gestapo was the name of a delicious cold soup. Pretty tasty. Again, the joke is kind of... The joke has so little to do with the Holocaust and little to do with the Gestapo. It's more just like... I get...

I'll put it more... But if you just follow the logic of the statement, there is a soup that sounds kind of like that. So why are you saying, I wish this was the name of a soup? What about this? Yeah, it doesn't sound so bad. I'll clean it up. There's another version. There's a variant. Okay.

You definitely have a variant. I don't you remember the days when Gestapo was the name of a cold delicious soup? Don't you remember? But the Gestapo are from the old days. No, no, no. They're kind of not. I'm saying this as an old man. Around anymore except for an ice.

Yes. But I'm, I'm. It's pretty tasty too, delicious cold soup. and I asked a Jewish person if they like the joke and they said yes. I think we can do better. These are, listen, Pat, you tried and I respect that. But I think all, I think you may be. I like that.

I like that. I like that. The only person whose opinion I care about this is the descendants of Holocaust victims. I'm going to say that. Victims. Descendants of Holocaust victims. So the dead people who died? No, the descendants. their grandchildren, great-grandchildren.

The people who have a dog in this fight. And you two are holding two cats on a leash. You got no dogs in this fight. That's true. That's true. I'm not Jewish. I don't even pretend anymore. You had a little German on your 23 and me, I remember.

I don't think I did. One of you did. Maybe I did. I don't remember. All I remember is the Irish. I fucking. Julio might wish. No, it's seeing how much he knows about this crap.

Isn't that right? Tasteful holocaust joke. What does make a joke tasteful? When I looked it up, when I looked it up, you looked this up. I did, I looked up the definition of, again, if I had more time, I would have come in with a PowerPoint presentation. But it kind of sprung on me. Kind of sprung on me. I was going to contact more.

Well, I mean, let's be real. It wasn't sprung on you. You only had four months. You did have three months. You know, you could have done this stuff immediately. Well, we remembered it in December and the holidays. It doesn't mean you didn't have that. time.

I'm not going to go back and listen to the show. Look, I'm just saying, go back into your memory. Remember your memory. I'm just saying, look, look, look. You could have immediately gotten into the lab and started

because this was on Halloween that you were assigned us. You had the entire month of November, entire month of December. I contacted a good amount of, I guess, one person, I contacted my friend Clark.

That's a amount. He's a good amount of person. Great guy. That's true. Love that guy. One is enough. One is enough. I'll say that.

Yeah. But I, could have contacted. You know what? I got a Jewish person and a non-Jewish person's perspective on it before I even told it on here. I asked Justin. Oh yeah? I asked Justin if he would like it. And he said he said that's a great joke. Which one? So I think that you guys have some kind of personal bias

against me. No, no, no. Because two people that I asked said that's a great joke man. Can I tell you something? Non-comics. The Gestapo one? If I saw that one on R-slash stand-up shots, that would be like my grand finisher for one of the open mic episodes. Yeah. I don't think Gestapo is...

Because it doesn't make sense. And also, Gestapo is not an exclusive sort of Holocaust term. Yeah, it is. I think it's a German word. I mean, it's, I think it's Holocaust enough. Maybe it's Holocaust enough. It is a German word.

It's the German word for the secret police. You know, you could, if you're worried about it not being Holocaust enough, though, you could start out by being like, ah, the Gestapo. Those awful guys Those jackbooted thugs Who came in and dragged the Jewish people Into the ghettos

You can The premise could be like that Yeah I miss when Gestapo Just meant That's better That's better You need to address

But again this This happened You know 80 years ago Mm-hmm So when you're missing When you're missing Gispacho

You're saying you miss Like pre The 1930s Yeah Yeah that's funny That can be funny Yeah It just doesn't make any sense.

I think that's... I think you... I think you did it. I think you did it. I think it needs fine tuning. But I stuck the landing like... Okay, wait. What was the definition of tasteful when you googled it?

Oh, it said inoffensive. That's it? Yeah, pretty much. I mean, that's what I remember. Let's go through all the day. Because I look at what makes a tasteful joke. I like that you're also like cornering Tasty as well. We should try and hit every...

Because that's both. Clark said, that was an amazing double entendre you did. Look, I think you're 100% within tasteful and tasty. Okay. I think you're, I think you hit those on the head. I definitely, this is a miracle on the Hudson type landing. Showing good aesthetic judgment. I stuck the landing, but not in a, not, not through a scale.

Yeah, I landed on the water. Showing good aesthetic judgment or appropriate behavior. Mm-hmm. Okay. Appropriate behavior. Eating at a dinner party, gazpacho. Or second definition. tasty sense

and tasty sense well look up what takes a tasteful joke from maybe like a road scholar of comedy maybe that could help

what makes a tasteful joke what makes a tasteful joke what makes a a road scholar by a road scholar roucho marks he was a road scholar he was a road scholar

yeah because he took his vaudeville show on the road well makes a joke funny you're a machine today what makes a joke funny none of them are

coming up with I saw I think it was maybe the first result. Are you thinking of the AI overview? I did. It ain't nothing coming up. I did use that because I was trying to make sure as quickly as possible before I came over here

because I had to bring a salad spinner for Caleb's wife. The top result when you search, what makes a, quote, tasteful joke to keep, to make sure tasteful is included is cracking jokes in ads, a foolproof guide to tasteful humor. So that's a good metric. Do you think this joke could be in an ad? ad and it would not cause outrage?

I think so. Yeah, I think so. That is actually a really good metric for being tasteful. You know who could say this? You know who could say this in an ad? Again, Raucho Marx. That would have been a great ad in 1945. That would have been an amazing ad for a restaurant.

Checo marks saying that. Seven jokes elegant ladies never say. Okay. So this is an opposite. This is going to show us what is not tasteful. Yeah. One picture of Amy Schumer pops up immediately. Yeah.

Come on. She's dirty. There aren't even jokes. I'm saying my, I fingered a cab driver. Remember how small her mouth was? Yeah, she fingered a cab driver.

Is that true? Who? Or, no, I think she made a cab driver finger her. Made. That's what I remember. Is this a real story or one of her little jokes? I think maybe it's a lie.

Oh, here's another great metric, actually, it's coming up. There's no, like, they're not giving me any, like, list of criteria, but this is another great metric. Okay. How to incorporate tasteful humor into your wedding. Okay. Do you think that this could? Would that ruin your big day? Could this be in an advertisement?

Could you see this in between, you know, episodes of the office on Peacock? Yeah, not on. Could you see this? Here's a framing. Here's a frame. Here's a way to frame it. It's like, and like, say my wife, my wife Bethany, let's say her name is. You know, Bethany wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the the bravery of her great grandmother

who survived the Holocaust. You survived the Auschwitz-Burkenau camps. Is the great-grandmother there? Yes. Okay. And she's sitting there and there's a small clad for her and she does this. Mm-hmm. And then this is the best man's speech.

She brought her own food because she can't eat a lot of stuff. She's very old. She's very old. She can only eat chick-fil-a salad. So actually she has arfed. Okay. That's a whole other thing that... It doesn't enter into the situation.

You have to explain it to other people in the wedding. It's like, Bethany's grandma has arfellie. She only RFID. RFID. That'll be a whole other thing. To check out a library book. You know, she wouldn't be here.

She did not escape the camps at Auschwitzburg. And by outwitting Gestapo soldiers. Hey, Gestapo, I missed the days when that was a cold delicious soup. Can I say something? Here comes the second

appetizer. This this Joe coming out. This joke I like 20 times better as a wedding joke than I do just as a joke. That's exactly where it would be. Yeah. Because that is, because wedding jokes

never make any sense. Doing this face at the crowd. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great wedding joke. Yeah. It's good. And that might be,

I think the advertisement is the tough one because to set up the premise, you kind of have to depict. You need to bring up the Holocaust. Yeah. And that's going to, just bringing that up in an ad is going to cause some issues.

What if it's like, Add four. A soup that donates all proceeds to Jewish people. Oh, Nike would be good. Or Nike. No, no. Shoes is bad. Well, that's what I mean.

It's really dependent. I think the ad is way harder to... Somebody told me they used to work at a Jewish summer camp and they went to the... They were like a counselor. They took all the kids to like the Holocaust Museum one day and they have all the like shoes and stuff at the end. And all the kids are like super sad and depressed and shit. and then afterwards they were like, here, let's go bowling.

Let's like cheer up the kids. And they got in there and it's just the wall of shoes. The shoes. And they were like, oh my God. That's kind of a tasteful Holocaust story. In a way.

A little bit. I don't know. I think the thing that makes it funny is the accidental lack of taste. Yeah, that being the one place that you take the kids after that. Yeah. But I think it is a situation where everybody

know, like everyone who's probably like, Everyone probably like is like this. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, oh my God,

I can't believe you just said that. What? I can't believe this just happened. That's a joke buff. Dang. Dang. Just dang. Dang.

That's a good. That's kind of, I think you know what? That might be the line between tasteless and tasteful. Okay. Something that deals with that even can be uncomfortable or slightly offensive.

But if it's like, dang. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, dang. What are you going to do? That's tasteful.

So what are you going to do? So at that point, I guess it's not even a joke, it's more a situation. Yeah. It's a tasteful situation. Oh, dang. Well, at least it stays. I guess what I'm describing is the difference between a situation and a joke.

Yeah. Is it something where you react to it or you laugh at it? Well, but there's untasteful situations. Your whole family being murdered in front of you killed in front of you. And I would be like, oh, dang. No, no, you would say. I'd say, dang if that happened. What would you say?

Yeah. Fuck. That's what I would say. So you think that's a tasteless. It's an offensive situation where you go, fuck. I think it's pretty. offensive. To have your family

kills it. No lie. I think that's offensive. It's not offensive. I think it's pretty offensive. To have your family killed in front of you is not a tragic. I wouldn't be offended. If somebody would be offended.

You wouldn't be offended by that. It's different. But you wouldn't say dang. You'd be so offended that you would become distraught. You wouldn't say, eh, shit happens. You know, can I say, though, like sometimes? You're not saying that.

Dude, I might. What do you do? Yeah. Sometimes in the worst of situations, literally all you. you can do is laugh and make others laugh. Yeah. That's true. Is that not true?

That's what Jerry Lewis. That's okay to say dang when you see the shoes in the bowling alley. That's what Jerry Lewis tried to touch upon. If you don't go dang and when you see those shoes, you're going to be like this. No. Dang. No. Yeah, I guess dang is before no.

Dang. It goes, no is the spectrum of dang and no. It goes, dang, crap. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Fuck. Fuck. No.

And then fuck no. Instant kill yourself. Instinct kill. Or no, throw out the window. Shotgun in the window. Is fuck no a derivative of dang? Fuck knows what you say when somebody does some gay shit.

Yeah. Say fuck no. That's not kind of a branching tree. Yeah. That's not in this spectrum. That's on a different one. Okay. Yeah.

There's hold up. Yeah. Hold up. Pause. Pause. And there's fuck no. Uh-huh. And then violence.

Yeah. And then also kill you. yourself past violent. Instant kill. Because somebody did suicide. Okay. You had to die. Yeah.

Well, I just want another tasteful Holocaust joke. I like... You want another one? Yeah, I like... I work so hard.

I mean, I don't want you to take offense to this. I think that that's a very tasteful and I think that you were successful. I don't think the joke

is that funny. It's not funny. I don't think it would ever make me laugh. Tasteful jokes are not that great. No, see, that's what, that's that right there,

buddy? That's learned helplessness. No, no, no. It is, it is. Because you just got to keep pushing until you get that hilarious gut-busting Holocaust joke that don't make you say bang or anything.

It's just fucking funny and just tasteful as shit. Yeah, not a closed mouth in the house. Yeah, everyone is belly laughing and thinking, who's the most tasteful comedian? The most tasteful comedian? John Mullaney. Jim Mullaney.

No, no, he's raunch. No, John Mullaney's done tasteful jokes. He's raunchy, but he wears the suit. He's just, Nobody is tasteful all the time. He's not raunchy. He's not a fucking drug addict. I'm thinking of a complete

A complete tasteful comic. Well, that's not how that works because a joke, hey buddy. Who's that guy that did the, look me in the eye. Look me in the eye. Who's the guy with the piano? Why are you breaking eye contact? Who is the mathematician with the piano? Do you guys know what I'm talking about?

Yes, I do. I'm not going to tell you till you look me in the eyes. I'm looking at your eye. You're not looking at my eye. I'm looking at one eye and then also I'm looking at my computer. Go into my soul. Oh, I love my computer. Look in between his eyes at his nose.

Okay. I'm looking at one strand of hair actually on the top of his head that's poking out of his shirt. You see that? A guy can tell both types of jokes. Tasteful joke doesn't have to come from a tasteful guy. Well, who's the most tasteful guy? Some of the most disgusting, raunchy humor came from some of the most straight-laced, buttoned up white bread types of guys. Bill Cosby.

If you heard the type of stuff that. Bill Cosby was doing behind the scenes. Ultimately tasteful. Literally throw up. Ultimately tasteful. He did some of the raunchiest stuff. Music or. You loved his music?

I don't know. I don't need to. You loved Bill Cosby's music. Would you ever imagine? No. Would you ever imagine after watching Full House that Bob Sagget could go and do a thing like that? He hit his head on a hotel sink and die?

Yeah. I was a fan of his stuff before Full House. Well, I'm saying just from seeing Full House. You didn't know. You weren't alive before Full House. Motherfucker. Shut your bitch. up. Yes, I was. I was a fan of his.

I was a... And we used to talk at the fucking cellar, man. You were not at the Thomas table at the cellar with him. I was hit. It was me. If we're trying to develop this joke. Me, Bobcat, fucking... No, no, no, no. What's his name? You couldn't hang with those big dogs. You wouldn't be able to... If you hung out with

Tony Clifton, they'd be making Windy City Heat, too. That's all I'm going to say. Tony Clifton. It was me. Tony Clifton is a character. It was me, Bob Saggett, Tony Clifton. No. And, uh, what's his name fucking, you know what I'm talking about. Rupert Pupkin.

Rupert Pupkin. Rupert Pupkin. Yeah. We were all at the cellar. It was back when I was a young up-and-coming comic. Rupert Pupkin was not. He was not. He was not.

He was there at the table. Also, his jokes suck. Yeah, his jokes suck. Here, I want to pull it back to this joke. He was there at the table. I think that the way we've been, we've been tackling this so far is to start from the angle of tastefulness. Okay.

I think that maybe we can start by just coming up with the most hilarious Holocaust joke and then make it tasteful. You just come up with the most hilarious, offensive, just like, fucking just like, I want to like, I want to blush. Hold that pen up while you're saying it.

And just do, just hold it out. Look right into the camera and just bust our fucking gut, man. Hold the pen. Hold the pen out towards the camera. Hey, I want you, this is one of the only time I'm going to say this to you ever.

Buddy, go blue. Well, we said one at the beginning of the episode. What could it be? Should it be like the aristocrats, but about the Holocaust? It's up to you, man. If you want to do that. That's horrible. Yeah.

I can't about the victims of the hall. That's the ultimate tasteless. You do the aristocrats and then they say, what is your name? You say, the victims of the Holocaust. That's what you want me to do? Oh, it's really, it's up to you. If you want to do that, if you want to do that, if you want to do that.

Can we let's, I feel like we can. A Jewish family walks into a, okay, stop, stop. Yeah, I don't want to hear this. I don't want to hear the rest of it. Because if it's the aristocrats, what about a knock-knock joke? Those are always tasteful.

Knock-knock, who's there? I got to come up with that. Yeah, I know. All right. I was excited. Who would be there? Yeah. The fur?

No, no. Knock-knock. I think maybe this is hack. I think maybe this is hack, though, but it's like knock-knock, who's, there, the Gestapo open up via, yeah. And then you say, Gestapo, who? And you say, yeah, I miss when that was just a soup.

Yes, that's good. Back before ruled the Holocaust when I was around. Anyway, let me in. Anyway, I'm in the house and you're outside. Yes. Woohoo! That's a joke that requires both people to understand what to say. Yes.

Yeah, you need it. You need kind of a script for that one. I guess this is a stage act. What is a straight man, funny man? A tasteless knock knock holocaust joke. Okay, okay, maybe I think that we can keep just pulling it. So let's just do a tasteless knock knock joke. Okay.

That's not about the Holocaust. And then make it about the Holocaust. Then make it tasteful. Okay. Then take out the knock knock. And then I think we'll be at a hilarious point in our conversation. Will we not? No.

Knock knock. Who's there? My asshole. My asshole who? My asshole stinks like shit. And I need to use your toilet. And also put your dick through your mail slot for no reason. I don't think that about the Holocaust.

That was the next step. Why did you do that? Ah, fuck. Knock, knock, who's there? My asshole. My asshole stinks like shit. They could. No.

My asshole stinks like shit. This is a fucking mind fuel. No, that's what I'm saying, man. How is it? I can't believe you made four of these. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

It's knock, knock, who's there. My asshole, my asshole, who my assholes think so bad, and I need to use your bathroom to clean it up. Also, stick your dick through the mail slot. I'm a Nazi. Oh, there we go. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

That's so tasteless. Knock, knock. Who's there? I'm just trying to do something cool. They do. Knock, knock. Who's there? Hitler.

Hitler. Hitler's if you want a delicious pastry. It's the name of a bakery. Oh, there we go. That'd be a good. Like, go to it. Oh, like go to Lers. Hitler's.

Oh, that's. That's not tasteless, though. Well, no, I'm saying, what did you say? Hit Lars. Hit Lars. Hit Lars Bakery if you want a delicious donut. Yeah, Adolf, Hitler. Or you can't say Adolf because then you say, what you say?

Yeah, if you say hitlar. Blet, sneezing. Oh, gazoonedite. Wait a minute. Gestapo Zunthite. No. That's a common phrase, gazoon tight. Oh, dude, this is the most perfect knock, knock set up.

I don't know what the answer is, but I, you're going to hear this and your neurons are going to start firing. Knock, knock. Who's there? Gerbels. Gerbils, who? It's Thanksgiving. It's Thanksgiving.

Come on in. There we go. Okay. All right. But that's more of a joke about German names, because there's still people with that name. Yeah, yours are all about German words. These are German words directly related that were created for the Holocaust. You don't think that Gerbils is related to the Holocaust in any way.

Well, I think there's, you don't think that he's as related as the Gestapo. You think that he had nothing to do with it. His hands were clean and he was an okay guy. Well, didn't, didn't, wasn't he was. Was he a paperclip guy? He was what, the propaganda? Propaganda guy? Gerbils was the shooting movies.

Oh, okay. I thought maybe he, you know what? You could go, Himmler. Yeah. Hey, knock, knock. Who's there? Hamler. Hemler, who?

I'm the hemler. I'm here to hem your pants. That's tasteful. That's tasteful. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. The Himler.

I'm the Himler. I'm the hemler. I'm the hemler. You're going to say that with Caleb's accent. I'm the Himmer. I'm here to him your pants. That's not my accent. That was tasteless. That was tasteless.

Sorry. I'm sorry for the tastelessness, but I thought we get tasteless to loop it around. I think that's my favorite so far. I like that one. I'm the Himler. I'm here to Him your pants. You can even know. Then you could just make a cartoon about the whole Hemler. He hams people's pants.

He's like a villain. Oh, and who stops him? Captain America. Why would he be created in World War II? That was one of my favorite, one of my favorite. one of my favorite knock-knock jokes. Ever? When I was a kid of the Viper, you know?

No. Oh, well, knock-knock. Who's there? The Viper. The Viper. Viper. Who? I'm the Viper.

I'm here to Vash and Vipe your Vindos. Never heard that one. Oh, that's good, pretty good. Oh, fuck, but my tasteful jokes derivative. No, I thought that that was inspired by that. I like that. I think it's inspired, period. And I think that, I think that honestly, the Viper has, has, has,

Germanic undertones due to his accent. Yes. Transylvanian. Yeah, Transylvanian. Transylvania in Romania. Do they not still do the W and V in German? No, that's more Polish. They do.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. The V sound is an F. No, when you do a W, that's a V. Volkswagen. Yes. Okay. My bad. Sorry. Volkswagen. Volkswagen. Volkswagen.

What other names can we do knock-knock jokes with? Knock-knock jokes are really fun. That's a complete easy way to get a tasteful Holocaust joke. Yeah, I think I want to be done with the Holocaust. Yeah. Tasteful. Wipe our hands clean of it. I'm ready to,

well, I wouldn't say that because it's not like I had any roll in it. Let's forget it. Let's wipe our hands clean of it and forget it. I'm done with it. Yeah, we're done with it. But I think we could stick on knock knock jokes for a minute. Okay. What other knock-knock jokes can you do?

I don't know. But we need a, you know, we were talking about humors the other day. The different humors that you can have. Knock knock. Knock. Knock. Knock is the ultimate humor. Expo.

Expo. Who? Expo. Who? Expo police officer. And I want to rejoin. Where did you come up with that? That's set up, man.

That's crazy. It's good. Knock, knock. Who's there? Pepsi. Pepsi? Pepsi. Pep.

See me ride my bike for the first time. There we go. Knock, knock. Who's there? Phone. Phone who? Phone no more time. I will wait.

your house. Let me in. Let me in, you bastard. Let me in, you bastard for no more time. Can we do an Amazon EPUB 1001 wacky, wacky jokes written by us?

Knock, knock, joke. We're good at knock, knock, jokes. We haven't done that many, but I can feel that we're really, but we have a talent as a trio.

We have the hemler in there. The handler. Gerbils, the turkey. Knock, knock. Who's there? Shirt. Shirt.

Who? Shirt. Take me in your house. It's good. It's really good. Knock, knock. Who's there? Camera.

Camera. Who? Camera and Fedder, pleased to be at your service. I was trying to figure out how to take me in your house. I was trying to figure out how to do that. Knock, knock. Who's there? Microphone.

Microphone. Very small phone. Microphone, no more time I will wait outside your house. Micro for no more time. Micro for no more time. Micro for no more time I waits outside your house. You must do this dirty job. There we go.

But the main problem is we're running out of things. Yeah. Yeah, we need a list of items that we can... Knock knock. Who's there? Water bottle. Water bottle. Water bottle.

Let me turn you on so you can water my garden. That's good. Water bot. Water bot is a robot who waters things. Okay. Water bot, let me turn you on so you can water my garden. Activating water. Yeah. That's good.

It's another thing where you need a second person. So they can say activating water bot. Yeah, someone standing next to you who isn't even in the conversation. Activating water bot. And that will take, that would actually take it to the next level. Most jokes would be taken to a huge next level by just having somebody who pretends to not be listening. And then suddenly acts out part of it.

Knock knock. Who's there? UPS. UPS who. UPS side of my house. Come clean it up. That's good. Clean it up, water bot.

Oh my God. I was walking home somewhere. the other day. Yeah. But I was not the other day. When I was back home, I was walking with Chad and my brother, got back from a restaurant. We had a couple of drinks.

There was nowhere to pee. Uh-oh. And so Chad started peeing on right next to this guy's, or this house, right outside this house. And there was a motorcycle there. And my brother said, start peeing on the bike. And then a guy on the porch who had all the lights off. It was just sitting there watching Chad Pee said,

don't pee on the bike. And Jad finished peeing. Yeah. Just like four feet away from this guy. Yeah. That's crazy. Don't pee outside my house. Yeah.

US peeing. USPAs. No, you PS out my house. You PS at my house. Stop being. That's good. Do it in the accent. Knock knock.

Who's there? Porch. Porch. Who? Porch. He's loving mouse who got caught in a trap and died. There we go. That's sad.

That's tasteless. A sad joke. It's not a funny one. It's sad knock knock jokes that make you cry. I don't want to hear that. Who's there? Wire. Why are you not letting me in your house?

Yeah, that's a good one. That feels classic. Yeah, that feels like it's been done forever. That's beautiful. Yeah, we really are running out of objects. Who else knocks? I need someone to say things. Who's there?

Telegram. Telegram. Telegram. Tell a grandma let me in the damn house. I've been stuck outside here for too long. A lot of it is getting letting me. into the house. Yeah, that's kind of the direction we did it up going in.

We've kind of 101 wacky knock-knock jokes about please let me get in the house. Knock-knock. Who's there? Brain. Brain who? Brainless child kept alive in a vegetative state at the hospital with no quality of life. Okay. Well, that's kind of tasteless.

And it's not exactly sad. It's not tasteless. It's like melancholy. Here's how you can fix it and keep it kind of a joke. It's a new type of thing. That's not a joke. It's a sad thing. I think you could do a tasteful Holocaust flash mob?

Yes. You do? To raise awareness for it, maybe a flash mob inside of a Holocaust denying company. I think so. I think if you played a... Like, you know, Nathan for you at the jacket company. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think you could do it if you play a very inspiring music. I just got to say this. Knock, knock. Who's there? Brain. I just got to say this. Brain who? Brang me inside the house.

Well, I didn't say brang. Brain me inside the house. I need to come in. I'm cold. It's braining. You're going. It's going back. It's braining outside.

It's a braining out here. Well, you know, my favorite, my favorite knock-knock joke of all time. What? Interrupting cow. Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne.

Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub. I'm dwowning. Oh, that's the best one. That's a good one. That's good. It is weird for somebody to be in a bathtub outside.

Interrupting cow is not a knock-knock jokes are kind of divorced from the premise of even being a knock. Interrupting cow. Yes, it is. Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. I walked ready. Mo!

How is it not a knock-knock joke? I forgot, you know, I was thinking of, I don't even know what joke I was thinking. Me either. I set myself up for it. You never heard an interrupting cow. No, I've heard interrupting cow. It's just in my head, it's the interrupting cow joke. I forget that it's got the knock-knock in front of it.

Yeah, it's a knock-knock joke. Yeah. Knock-knock. Who's there? Whiteboard. Whiteboard, who? White boy. rid yourself of all the ways you're acting right now.

Yes. You're being racist and white and white. That's tasteful. Yeah. Or white white, white, but you have to say knock doc who's there, white boy, boyard.

White boyard. White boyard. White boyard. Oh, you know it would be a good name that you guys can just cook on this. Boyardee. I mean, right there. Knock, knock. Who's there?

Boy R.D. It's not the chef. Boy R.D. This is his brother. Guy that's around. Boyardee, who? Boy, are these noodles delicious. Boy are these noodles delicious.

Also, I'm a chef. Also, I'm a chef one day. I want to make a can of food. You said delicious. I'm a chef with a speech impediment. Boyardy's noodles bullish. That's a good dude. Once we get this Amazon e-pub book, we're going to be millionaires.

These are the best knock-knock jokes in the world. These are really good. Boy, are these noodles. Oh, my God. That's the, that's like the closing joke at the end of the knock-knock joke book we write. The closing joke. The closing joke, there's a whole, it's a centerfold page. It's a really big, yes.

Yes. And it doesn't reveal, like, you can't read all the ones. Can we have every joke has a little, like, Shell Silverstein doodle with it, too, that shows the situation that's happening? Also, every joke should have a little privacy, like a little thing that you slide it out to reveal the punchline. Oh, I think. you were saying just in case your mom's looking over your shoulder. Well, that too. Yeah. Because you want to use the jokes on people. The whole book is made of those iPhone screens. Yes. So you can only see it from head on. Yes. That's good. That's really good.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Privacy screen. There you go. Tied up for you. You started. Oh, yeah. Go ahead, man. If I started, I have to finish it. Mm-hmm. Sorry. No, I'm in a privacy screen. Privacy screen. Privacy screen. Who? Like vessy or privacy. Privacy screen. Privacy screen. Privacy is another language that means please. Privacy screen. Privacy screen. Oh, privacy screen.

You can trick people. Screener. Privacy screener. Here we go. Ready? Ready? Watch this. Knock, knock. Who's there?

Privacy screen. Okay. You're already. The accent. Okay. Privacy screen. Privacy screens. Somebody's getting

to yell the bien. Oh, sorry. I was speaking my other language. I'm actually just named Dave. My name's Dave. Which translates to privacy screen. I'm a polyglot. I'm from a different planet,

actually. Planet polyglot. We all speak different languages. And this is a full page joke in the book. That's one of the entire chapter. It starts out the first like, the first like 20 jokes are like short. and sweet and sweet and then as they go we are running out of ideas so they become like pages long to

explain why folding out try fold that's how long one of the jokes is knock knock who's there try fold try fold what try folding me in half on paper oh that's good try folding this page in half you can't it's amazing it's literally it's bulletproof card stock that's the answer to the joke yeah try folding this page and half it makes the book interesting it makes the book interesting but that's a joke or that's just something? It's a meta joke. Okay. For the book.

Knock knock. I'm thinking into the book. Who's there? Meta. Meta who? Meta total idiot just now. Well, I will soon. When he opens the door on the page.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Midas. Midas who? My dastardly brother locked me out of my house. I thought you're going to say might as well let me. Yeah, I thought it was going to be something about that. Might as well let me in my dastardly brother locked you.

Might as might as might as might as. These are all really so good. Spunge Bob. Spong Bob, let's try. Okay. Spun. Spunge a bob all the way around. I sponge a Bob all the way around. Walk back in that house. Walk your house. Don't be answering the damn door. Don't be answered the damn door when I knock on it.

Yeah, I'm just spung-up. I could be a pedophile. Yeah. All the way around, bro. I could be a pedophile. Don't answer no damn door. Stranger Danger implemented into the book. Petophile.

That'd be a good one if we can figure that out. Pet-a-file. Knock, knock, who's there, pedophile. Pedophile who? Pedophile, though. I love your, I want to pet your dog. Filedo. Pedophile do.

The dog. Ped-o-o-o. Ped-fileo. Philelein. Pede. If you want a name. Yeah. Pedophiles are not welcome.

Pedophiles in this neighborhood. Join me on my march through the neighborhood where we're going to hold signs that pedophiles are not welcome in the cul-de-sat. It's good. That's really good. I mean, that's, again, that's a joke with a message. Yeah. Or it's not even a joke. That's like a new type of thing, a knock-knock thing.

Yeah. A knock-knock story. A knock-knock story. Yeah, knock-knock's statement. That's what I've done before with the brainless baby who can't survive. It's just supposed to make you feel a certain way. It doesn't have to make you laugh. You know what? In this era of comedians are the new philosophers.

It's time that we get, we boil that down to its essential. Knock, knock. Who's there? Socrates. Socrates, this situation in this country. Socrates. Socrates, this situation in this country. Yeah.

I think a lot of these are hinge upon having a, speech impediment. You think that's a speech impediment what I just said. So, Cretes? It's an accent. There's no language in the world. There's a learning English that you just made fun.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Play-Doh. Play-Doh. You got a pay-to-play-do in this damn. No, no, no, no. This is right where I was going is like, yeah, is like, you actually can't open the dough

because it's a play-dough. It's a fake-ass dough. Check this one out. What? Knock-knock. Who's there? Aristotle. Aristotle.

Who's there? Aristotle. look like this, big diamond watch. Oh, that's good. That's really good. Aristotle. Who's there? Now, hold on.

Pliny the Elder. And Exaggeris. Who else do we have? Mephistopheles. Nebuchadnezzar. No, you can't do that one. No, there's not any. sort of good wordplay on that one.

Memphis stoffily. Knock, who's there, Carl Jung. Carl Jung, who? Carl Jung boys. You scared me by all of your souls. Carl Jung boys.

Carl Jung boys. You guys were marching against a previous joke. Their parents are out marching. Mm-hmm. Call young boys. So that's good. You have to do knock knock.

Knock, knock. Who's there pedophile? And then you have to do that whole thing. You do Carl Jung. Mm-hmm. Knock. Who's there? Sartre.

Sartre who? Sartre damn snowblower. It fucking snowed last night. Oh, that's good. That is good. That's good. That's good. See, that's highbrow lowbrow.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Freud. Freud. Freud. Freud of the pedophile. I'm a Freud. I'm a Freud.

Freud. Remember those phones? Freud. Sorry. Sorry, my phone just turned on. Freud. This is fucked up. Yeah.

Basically the most fun thing you can. Hard. We just came up with. It's easy. It's the easiest thing in the world. The hard thing is coming up with the word to put it into it. Yeah. If I had a million words, I could give one to each every one of the world.

Knock knock. Who's there? Christmas stalking. Christmas stocking you. Let him within 50 feet of you. Chris was talking. Christmas talking. Chris.

Chris. Miss talking. That's when your friends not paying attention in class. Teachers talking. Missing. Or they open the door and just sitting there. You got hella presents in your dress like Santa. Chris, Miss talking.

Oh, that's good. That's good. Yeah, that is good. Fuck. Holidays is good. We can do holidays. Knock, knock. Who's there?

Neanderthal. Neanderthal. Neanderthal who? I guess it's Neanderthal. Neanderthal who? Neander. A tall person to help me reach the top shelf. Oh, need or tall person.

Neander. Neander. A tall person. Okay, that's good. Yeah. And don't even try to do Homo erectus. Hell not. Oh, knock, knock.

Who's there? Homunculus. Amunculus. Yeah, my homo unk is lusting after me. He's the pedophile from the earlier four jokes. Homo unk is lusting. My homo uncle lost after me. Yeah, when this is in the book, it's all like, there's like kind of a story weaved into the

knock, okay. Here's another classic one. Like, umlaught things to like bend to the vowels. that the words kind of are like also telling us separate. Like for example, this is going to be related to homunculus but not to the homo-unc. This is more classic knock-knock joke. Knock-knock. Who's

there? Alchemy who? Alchemy who? Alchemy who? Alchemy now, thank you. Oh, that's good. So that's kind of more classic. But then the next few would be back into the storyline with who's there. Alchemy. Gold. Gold. Who? Golden. Get your mom. I want to talk to an adult. I'm a solicitor. Oh yeah. You're right. You're

right. The book should be a couple of knock-knog jokes and then this continuous sort of story. Like knock knock, who's there? So that's how we're having more trouble. Grandma phone. Grandma phone, who? Get grandma on the phone because the homo-unk that's lusting after me from two jokes ago. He just got caught. He was just sitting at the post office for over four hours and they don't know what he was doing.

So they had him arrested. And they think he might have, he might be mentally disabled as well. slightly, but nobody really caught that until he's in his 40s. Knock Knock, who's there. USPS who, USPSing on, USPSing on my house. You need to stop. By the way, I'm actually working for the post office. Wait, that first part again. And we actually saw him go in the bathroom and put a camera.

That's, yeah, yeah, that. I'm just doing world building. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. No, that was good, though. I mean. But I have to do the accent for USPS. Yeah, I just wanted to hear.

You say that again. USPS. US piercing on my house. USBsing on my house. You need to stop piercing on my house. I was like that. It's a good one. It's nice. It is good.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Kelly Clarkson. Kelly? Oh. Kelly Clarkson, who? Let me get, let me get changed. Clark's son was just touched by the pedophile and his psyche is broken.

See? And also we're tackling. We're tackling. And he's Irish. Like from before. Remember when all the Holocaust jokes were? All the Holocaust jokes that started with?

Start the book. Also, we're touching upon, you know, the pedophile. Like, yeah, the pedophile is touching, but,

you know, this is kind of a lynchian, a lynchian look, a lynchian look at small town America. Yeah, yeah, through knock,

knock jokes. I like that. Using a medium, a respected old style medium like film to tackle actual issues in small town America, like the town pedophile. The town pedophile.

Knock, who's there? Lynchian. lynchie and who they're lynchie and a damn person in this town it's a damn 50s my god yeah yeah scary yeah scary it's scary stand up uh or knock knock knock philosophy what was it called okay he told me to stand up who's there sit back down okay sit back down who sit back down who who cast the first sit why are you saying back down who cast the first sit now you're like a revival like tent

evangelical thing. I honestly, I lost the plot. I'm going to level with you. Okay, the plot is knock knock. Who's there? Evangelism Evangelical. Evangelical who? Or evangelists.

Evangelists who? The van no. Just Lisms down the street. Oh, I would say. van from the evangelist.

Evan just listed as all his favorite kids in the town. His name's Evan. Yes. We just discovered that. I was also going to go with Carl and say Carl's bad. What about this? What about this? Carl's bad.

Knock knock who's there. Evangelists. Evangelistic listed up all the kids in the town. That's what I was thinking. A pedophile van. Oh, okay. Knock knock. Who's there?

Philanthropy. Phil and Thrope. Phil. Phil. And Thropy. Yeah. We're also both just touched by the pedophile.

They're kids in our town. Knock, knock. Who's there? Thropi. Thrope. It's me, Theropee. I work at the U.S.PS. And I just revealed my name is.

I just revealed my name. And U.S.PSing on my house. USBsing on my house. My name is Thrope. Thrope is a really good thing. Knock, knock, knock. Who? Mysanthropy.

Missentropi. Missentropi ever since he got kidnapped by that pedophile. Who's also maybe a murderer. And taken in his. evangelist van his van Thrope

Thrope Thrope Dude it's Okay here's And then We need a big turn Here's a big turn Here's a big turn

I got one for you right now Knock knock Who's there Thropey Thrope who Thropeanus on the grill We're a group of cannibals And the whole town

Is actually cannibals That eat human genitals Oh my God The pedophile is by far The least evil person In this town Holy shit Wow

That is a twist That is a twist. That is a twist. That is a fucking twist. Knock knock. And all you have to do is say knock knock-knock. Yeah. Knock-knock.

Who's there? Lynchian. Lynch-in who? Earlier when they were lynching that guy, he was white. Wow. Yeah. Makes you think still. That's good if you can put the,

you can put the song. Yeah, like in a birthday card. Yeah. There's one page that you open. It's my birthday. It's my Bruce. You're opening the page. You're like, wow, this page is much thicker than all the other pages.

I wonder, it must be a really deep joke. I wonder why I can't close the book that well. Knock, knock. Who's there? Steven Spielberg. Steven Spielberg. Stephen Spielberg is our leader. Whoa.

Hollywood funded all of this. Oh, my God. And he's making, oh, okay, that's good. What? It's bad. Knock, knock. What's good about that? Yeah, what is good about that?

I mean, good and like a dramatic. sense like oh that's good yeah okay knock knock who's there richard link later hey richard you want to link later we're all going to go eat this guy's ball sack at the barbecue wait i got one knock knock who's there dick link later which is my name for him because i'm very close that's very cool dick link later who dick links later at the barbecue oh wow don't twist it up the foreskin twisted into the other yeah oh that's good knock knock who's there call ball Cabal. Cabal.

Carl, Carl, Cawbal, Thropi's brother. He work also at Yospias. Okay, so that was just...

That one is, I don't even know. Thropey had a justified name. Yeah. Well, you said Cabal. Call ball. Call ball. Yeah, there we go.

There we go. That'd be better. That'd be good if you wanted to do... Again, if you wanted to do a knock-knock joke, that was who's there, call ball. Call ball.

Call ball. Call ball. Fuck, dude. It's getting harder. It's getting way harder. It gets harder when you add a plot to the knock-knocks. To the... Oh, my God.

And the book is called The Neighborhood of a story told. This actually has potential to be the great American novel. A novel written entirely in knock-knock jokes. I agree. It's actually a good idea. I think it would be form-breaking. Knock-knock. Who's there?

Hannibal Belecter. Hannibal Lecter. Who? Hannah. Hannah Blector. Mm-hmm. Is also living in the town. Knock-knock.

Okay. Who's there? Hannibal Lecter Hannibal Lecter Hannibal Lecter Hannibal Lector It's named after Hannibal Lector

No Because they love And then it has another sound player That plays a jump scare Yeah In that page Yeah

That's scary To be named after Hannibal Lecter Knock Knock Who's that Stephen Stephen Sondheim Stephen Sondheim

Stephen saw in time Thrope's brother In time In time And time and Trope Pissing on Thrope's house

It was his brother The whole time Oh my God Or he could be Stephen saw in time Saw in time To save Thrope's house To save Thrope from the clutches

of Evan Yes And then they ate Thrope They No he stays a lot Who's there They ate Thrope They ate Thrope

Who? They ate Thrope Who? They ate Thrope's Throw with barbecue sauce. They fucking ate thrope. Oh my. They ate thrope.

They fucking ate thrope. No. No, no, not. No, no, no, no, no. No. No. Who's there? No.

No. No who. No. No. No. No. No. Who's there? Knife. Knife. Knife. Stabbed. Oh.

That's the end of the book is that you get killed. You're investigating. That's a good knock knock joke to just tell to somebody, too. They say, knife, who and you go, stabbed. stabbed. Stabbed. I made a knife sound which I thought was...

You think that's what happens? I think that's the sound of air leaving your body. Yeah. You're so macab. Yeah. That's what Christopher Lee says in the behind the scenes for it. Yeah, I remember that.

Knock knock. Who's there? Macab. Macab who? Macab. Macab. Check it out. A cob of corn.

They're not eating corn. They're cannibals. Yeah. He's a new person who just moved into town who doesn't know. Macaw. Hope you all like corn here. My cop. Oh, I hear there's a barbecue.

I'm bringing corn. Macaw. My cob. My cob. My cob. My cob. He's chasing it into the town. He lives the town over where they're normal.

His Cobb rolled away. Ah, my cob. Yeah. Ah, no. He gets ripped to shreds. Mm-hmm. Scary town. Yeah.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Water. Water. Who? Water the hell going on in this town. I was going to go home. Oh, yeah.

Water is going to happen when the full moon happens. Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah, there's also a war from the town. Who's there? Likanthropy. Oh, lichenthropy. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's scary. Likeanthropy's taste as we fucking eat his flesh.

No. and also Likane He's become a liking Yeah I know Because you brought a moon I was doing a bait and switch Oh okay

It was good either way Either way Thropi was going to be hurt So I wasn't so happy about it Yeah well he's kind of already dead I thought it was Yeah He's been eaten

But Thrope Wait a whole family That goes by their last name Except for it in time Yeah his name is Anthropi In time Thrope In time Thrope You said wait a second

Yeah Why are there so many thropees The whole town's a thrope Who's there? Who's there? Secret cloning program. Secret pilot. Exactly.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Philanthropy. Philanthropy. This whole town's philanthropies. What, philanthropy? Philanthropy.

Philanthropy. This whole town is philentropies. Fullanthropies. I have a weird voice. It's a philanthropies. It's a whole town's full on thropees. Full on thropes. Full on thropies.

Full on thropes. Yeah. This whole town's full on thropies. They just ate them. Fuck. That's good. shit. Wow. Is there a word that's like

pooping outthropy? No. Yes, there is. Okay. What other thropies are there? I don't know. Lianthropy. Philanthropy. Which, if there's a spectrum, philanthropy, philanthropy and lichenthropy, these are two very different things.

That's so true. These must be the two ends of the spectrum there. And misanthropy is worse than lichenthropy. Really? Yeah. But you don't think that a misanthropy? would do the same thing is worse than a like. No, I think some like, likeanthropes are good. Oh.

Are they not? I don't even know what time. Have you never seen prisoner of Asgaband? Oh, I have. I'm not team Jacob. Don't you ever put that on me? You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I'm team Edward, dude.

Yeah. Literally anybody who's team Jacob it like has a mental disability. I'm team Van Helsing. It's like unbelievable that it's possible. Isn't he like a rapist dog? He's a pedophile. I mean, they're both pedophiles.

Yeah. But he has no swag. He's not even cool. He sucks. He sucks. He sucks. He's terrible. And he's so annoyed. He annoys Bella all the whole time.

Every movie. Can I touch your baby? Can I touch your baby? Yeah. That's him. Put a damn shirt on. Yeah. Put a damn shirt on.

Wait, was he trying to print on the baby? He didn't mean to. Crap. Yeah. He imprinted on the baby and then he falls in love with her. He showed the baby his print. But my homie imprinted on my baby is over.

You are not coming back to my house. Oh, goodness. Oh, that is it. You are done with my house. Dude, those movies are crazy. Yeah. I watched those all last year. Did we talk about this already?

You watch all of them? Yeah. How many are there? Four? Five. I read the books. Really? Yeah.

I kind of want to read the books. Dude. They're not very good. Well, of course. I mean, the first movie I thought is actually fire. I don't even remember. The first movie is cool. It's very, it's, it kind of feels trapped in time in a way that, like, 300 does when you watch that movie.

Yeah. Where you're like, this really feels like that. feels just like the year that it came out. And they also are like acting insane. Like it's like so, it's so, the vibe of that movie is so crazy. And then it just turns into like very like cookie cutter like young adult.

She is honestly a good performance. They're both really good. Both of them are great. Yeah. The only one who didn't survive that was Taylor Lontner. Taylor Lottner sucks. He never did nothing else after that. No, no.

I don't think so. And you know he's got to be, he's got to be fucking. pissed at the team Edward shit. Yeah. I mean, Team Edward won. Team Edward in a massive way. But he got the baby.

He got their baby. In the story and in real life, Team Edward won. There are people who will be like team, we'll say they're Team Jacob. That's crazy. It's so crazy. It's disgusting.

It's wrong. It is disgusting. Just even taking, again, taking all of the morality out of it because I don't think either of them are moral. It's like me team Evan. It's like I'm Team Thrope. Exactly.

I'm 100% Team Thrope. Yeah. Thrope. unfortunately, unfortunate end. Yeah. Or is it? Knock, knock. Is there?

Thrope's back. Thrope's back, who? Thrope's back is the next meal that we're eating. Yeah, it's roped and roasted on the grill. Yeah, because he's actually not back. He is dead. Yeah. And we ate the fuck out of him.

And this story respects the finality of the end of life. Yeah. It's not going to write one of those stories where no. Bullshit happens. Yeah, nobody's coming back to life because it's a cube or whatever. No, no. No.

Speaking of cubes. Speaking of cubes. Knock knock. Who's there? Cube. Cube who? Cube Ball Jackson is in town and he's just about the coolest guy to ever set. What's up?

Cubeall, nice to meet you, man. Come on in. Oh, that, that's a brisket. Yeah, he starts eating it. His throaties lung. Oh, my God. Yeah, we're eating his insides, his innards. Jesus.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Boyardee. Boyardee's joke. so telling of what... Boy R. D's lungs delicious. Bullicious. Knock, knock who's there.

Knock, knock, who's there? Boyardee. The final, the final pages are all Boyard D jokes. Knock not who's there, Boyardee's jokes. Just some of the most gruesome and amazing tales. Final, final joke.

Okay. Last one in the book. Very final one. Knock knock. Who's there? Thu. The end. I thought you're going to do. something with the who. Well, so again, who doesn't, that's what the other person says. That's not really included.

Yeah, you don't say. But you could include it. That's called, it can. I mean, it would be kind of weird. There's not a lot of rules to knock, knock jokes as we've discovered today. But it would be like, the way you would do that as you'd be like, who's there, the who. And then they say, the who, who, who, are you an owl? That was a joke I made up when I was a kid that we used to do, me and my younger

Sylvan used to do all the time of people. Not who who who's their who, who, who who, who, okay owl. Okay, owl. Yeah, basically that. Kind of a fun. That's kind of fun, yeah. Fud Hinchcliffe style joke. Okay, owl.

It's been in my blood, man. Yeah, that's true. I'm bored for this shit. That's a good, that's like, I've seen these videos of, like, teachers at schools coming up to the, coming up to other teachers and be like, they're saying that, they're saying that you act like an owl. I've seen this. Yeah. It's always fun to watch. He said you act like an owl.

Yeah. Who? Yeah. And then they go, they go, who? It's pretty good. It's fun. But you know you're a geek when you watch him videos of teachers. Wouldn't it feel so great to be on the receiving end of a prank like that

where you just want to go like this? Yeah. Yeah. That would be great. That's the tasteful. Can we start doing some office videos like that? Videos where we do one thing to everybody? Yeah.

There's just not enough people of us. Everybody's body count? Yeah. Let's ask Joe his body count. Who had, or the video, who do you not want dating your mom? Who do you not want dating your mom? That's a good question. Answer.

My dad. Or what is it I'm supposed to say? Well, like in the office. Oh, well. No, from us? Yeah, from everyone. I mean, neither. Who do you not want, what do you mean neither?

Of you or me. No, but it's everybody who's here, us Alex Pierce, Joe. Out of all of us, who's the least, the one you would want to date your mom, the least. The least. and all of them. Yeah. See, then you got to pick one. Yeah, you get into this scenario where it's like,

why I refuse to answer your question. I refuse to answer your question. See, but okay, now I'm asking you, who would you want to date your mom the least, but you can't say me? You. Why? You were going to be my pick.

Really? You're asking me this disgusting question? I was going to say, Joe. You want Joe to date your mom the least? No, yeah, the least. Okay. Why? He seems nice.

Yeah, we don't know him that well. My mom likes bad boys. Okay. Yeah. That's true. She only likes bad boys. So she wouldn't like him. They wouldn't get along.

Yeah. Well, Joe's a bad boy. No, he's not. He is. No. Joe's a good boy. Who's the worst boy? Who's the worst boy in the whole office?

Who's the baddest boy? Probably Joe. Probably Joe. The badest bad boy. Yeah. He's walking in all the time in his leather. He does wear a lot of leather jackets. He takes them all off whenever he does.

anything. Like Curtis Yarvin. He started wearing leather jackets and his leather pants. In his older age. That's so funny to me. Munch's mold bug. Was his hacking name

or whatever? This is his writing name. That's gay. He's like writing. He's writing about I wish you'd have a king. Yeah. And he's just like sitting and he's like, I don't think today. Oh, yeah, that's right.

They wanted to buy the entire population of Montenegro out and start an island called Praxis. Leather jacket is a hard needle to thread. Leather jacket. A suede jacket. A suede jacket.

A suede jacket. Outside of a movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really a movie thing. Think like Austin Butler might be the only living American male. But again, he's an actor.

But if you're Japanese, you can get away with it. Yeah. They'd be wearing some big-ass pants. They were a big-big-pants. But if you're an American male ages 18 to 35, you can't be wearing a leather jacket. If you're really old, you can probably wear one. If you're old, you can wear one. Yeah.

Depending on, well, have you seen those guys in the city? I feel the same about cowboy boots kind of. The guys in the city that were the fucking, what are they called? I feel the way of any article of clothing. Yeah. All clothing. It only looks good if you're old.

Yeah. The eight ball jacket, though. These were big. Now, if you're wearing the drive scorpion jacket, that's cool. That's cool. All ages. It has to have a big thing on the back. Well, the drive.

Yeah. Yeah, I know. The eight ball jacket, the drive scorpion jacket. If there's a big thing on the back of the. Jacket. Would you, if I got you the jacket from Akira, would you wear it every day? I'd wear it every day for a month as a social experiment. That's a cartoon.

We should put our money together and get Patrick. No, wait, wait, where did we get you a big motorcycle? I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that until, until Dr. Jay up there. Oh, true. Yeah, you want to dress like space. Star Lord. Star Lord.

He was supposed to get the Star Lord jacket. Why don't you want to be doing that? You don't want the Chris Pratt Star Lord jacket, Julio? And I can see you now. I can see you on the screen. Oh, me too. Yeah. The episodes ever, by the way.

No, it isn't. Oh, God. Okay, guys. So now you heard it here first, folks. The reason the episodes have to end is because of one certain person. Because one person, we brought up something that he said he would do and he's chickening out. Sounds like you with the Holocaust thing. What are you talking about, chicken?

I did not chicken out. You pushed it back. I didn't push it back. What are you talking about? I did it on time. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken.

Chicken how? Chicken price. Okay, yeah. I just know in my heart that shopsticks are not a hat. And I think that I'm correct in history will prove me right. You think that something in history is going to decide this? Yes. There's going to be a fucking war.

About this? About this. We have, we don't even realize this, but we started a, fucking war. We are under attack. You would rather be on the side instead of just I'd rather be on the right side of history.

I'd rather be on the side of history. Can you just roll over and just agree with this? I would never. Please, can you just? I would never roll over. Just for once, say, look into the camera and say chopsticks or a hat.

Just even if you don't believe it. Can you just give up? Please give up. I refuse to give up. I refuse to give up. Please, I want to win the argument. It's not a big deal. Please just fucking give up.

It is a big deal. It's just not that big a deal. I just say that we're right. This might be one of the biggest deals in human history and I think that next week when you see mass casualty events because of this conversation. They're going to blame you. They're going to blame you too. No, for not healing the road. Well, yeah, there's going to be a division. Some people are going to

blame me. Others are going to say I'm a hero. Everybody's going to think that you are a terrorist. No. Well, everyone thought that MoMAGadhafi was a bad guy, but he was actually just trying to do good for his people. In that way, I'm like Mo Omar Gaddafi.