Podcast About List - UNLOCKED Premium #336 - I have a cringe room in my house where I store an entire wheel of american cheese

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

GET YOUR TICKETS FOR CHUNKS AT https://www.patreon.com/chunkstvMOMMY'S GONE TODAY AND SO IS TODAY'S EPISODE, PLEASE ENJOY THIS UNLOCKED PREMIUM INSTEAD OF AN EPISODE WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT EXIST, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO VOICE YOUR CONCERNS IN THE YOUTUBE COMMENT SECTION, WE MIGHT READ THEM!Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

We'll just go to the middle. Hello, everybody. Sorry. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the latest episode of Podcast About List. And before the episode gets started, we would like to show you a very special trailer for a project that we have been working on with Patreon. It is called Chunks. Even the best CEO may suffer from devious employees.

For you? Some backwards dog f*** from some borat country. We should have nooped before you were born. I was never born And I will never die Look, buddy, I don't know what you're into Business is Irony

Your hands behind your bed They're all going to die Spooky It's called mandatory content And then like we come out of the trailer There we go Wow, what a great chunk that was That was a serious chunk

We actually have one of the chunks You may have notice in the trailer We made one of the chunks We are a part of chunks Now, Chunks is a brand new chunk of entertainment for you to get to get your chunk, your little hands on it. It should take a chunk out of. Just take a fucking chunk out of. We made one.

It is a comedy anthology movie that we made one of the chunks. The chunks of. And Patrick Stars in it. Me and Cam directed it. We all wrote it. We all wrote it. And I'm very excited about it. So go to patreon.com slash chunks TV for more information.

It premieres on July 19th on Patreon. And you guys, I think early bird tickets are available now, I believe. Yes. And if you are a Patreon member, we will have a very special code for you. Yes. If you are a part of our Patreon. If you are part of Chunks Nation, get ready to get fucking chunked. We get chunked, man.

And if you're wondering why we're in suits, watch the rest of the episode. Unless we ended up unlocking one. And if you are watching this episode, good luck, Matt. All right. Bye.

And we're off. Don't you guys feel like this is like if the Joker opened a sushi restaurant? Why so? Why so sushi? I know that place. Because you made that joke before, right or no?

I do sometimes make that joke. Yeah. I've never heard it and I walked by it. It's okay. laugh. I don't speak about that place too often. Why so sushi. That place gave my wife food poisoning, though. Did they give your wife food poisoning?

Or did she get it on purpose to get out of an event? Be honest. I think I'm being honest. I don't think she didn't like put lettuce in the toilet and then eat. It's always lettuce. People say lettuce is the way it really gets you. Yeah. It's because they spray the water. I'm tainted. They spray the water and the water has a E. Coli. I think the

our theory was that the food poisoning came from the seaweed salad because that was the thing that she ate that I didn't. Is it true? When you get food poisoning, is it true that sometimes, like, if you even think about the food, it makes you nauseous? Yes. I think I've, I think really the only time I've had, like, real food. Like, a post food poisoning?

Yeah. Or, like, you eat it and then, like, I feel nauseous. I think that's, yeah, I think it's like, just in general, if you, like, if you, I feel like when you, like, drink a bunch and then you throw up and the next day, or like, if you imagine having a drink, it's like, oh, literally, you're saying, I will never drink. I mean like the next day, do you drink a bunch to throw up, and then the next day I have a beer. Do you think like, like,

no, it's worse. I got food poisoning from collards when I was a kid. And I didn't eat them for like 10 years. Same. Yeah. I threw up after eating hot dogs when I was a kid and I didn't eat hot dogs for, yeah, like 10 years. Yeah, see, that's why I haven't had teeka masala pizza in a long time.

Dude, I got it from raw shrimp most recently. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that and you're in Italy. Yeah, I just can't. I could never do that again. Yeah. That was the worst thing. raw shrimp again. I was just, yeah, I mean, well, I actually did.

What's the next time you're going to eat raw shrimp? Well, the thing is I actually did two days later because I accidentally ordered it for a second time. Oh my God. And I was like, I can't be rude. I'm in another country. So I ate again. It was like one of the worst meals. Did you just order without knowing what the thing was?

They had like a prefixed menu. And I ordered it's like a salad or whatever and let the homikaze style. Some shit in Italian. Some shit. Salad and some shit? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It was shit. You got food poisoning, bro. And then just an Italian guy comes by with like a little shaper, like a truffle. And he should tell you what to stop. I said stop, praise. Tell me what.

Tell me when to shit. The thing is, I'm going in. He comes and he crouches over you. It's the only time I've ever been in another country. And I will just accept whatever is, even in America, I'll accept whatever is put in front of me. Yeah, me too. But in another country, I feel that even worse. Things have to be really bad to not accept it.

Yeah. I agree. I've just never, I've never sent something back. The other day. I was so high. I drank one of those weed sodas. And I ordered Wallen, Catmandu, New, Nepalese food. And I don't even want to say this because I love that place so much.

But I was eating the food. And I was so high. And basically every single bite I found a hair in my food. And I just didn't care. I just kept eating. What did you get? I got the chicken. Because they serve goat there that still has hair on it.

Really? That's like, yeah, part of the dish. Like it has like skin attached. Oh, that's cool. This was chicken, man. Feathers I would have been like, well, that's a man. amazingly fresh. Their...

Their fish and chips is the best fish and chips I've ever had my restaurant. That is honestly, when I get... When I eat something bad at a restaurant, I don't want to say because I feel bad. I'm like, what... I don't want to put them on blast. Speaking of restaurants,

the other, I think there's a long, a couple weeks ago, somebody... Maybe I shouldn't say this. Maybe there's a gay to say. Somebody recognized me in a bar, and I was kind of fucked up. and then they were like, oh, I just moved here.

Were you drinking alone? No, no, no, no, no. This is at the male loneliness thing. Oh, okay. The steak and the, the steak and scotch night where they had no steak and no scotch. What that male loneliness project. Oh, yeah. That's going up on the story.

This is your new op. No, I'm their Pokemon expert. No. But this guy, like, recognized me. He was like, oh, yeah, I just moved to the neighborhood. And then I recommended restaurants to him for, like, dead meat. Because every time I recommended him a restaurant, he had already been there. I was like, wait, I have to tell you one, man.

You have to get one. He just moved here and he's eating at that many restaurants. Well, all the stuff. And he said like he lives in the neighborhood. He's a foodie. Yeah. Continue. Maybe.

But yeah. We don't know. We don't know. I was just, I was really drunk. And I was just like, dude, you got to go here. I hate when I'm so drunk and somebody's trying to talk to me. Yeah.

So horrible. I like to get drunk and sit there and do this. I don't. For like two hours at a bar, just kind of by myself. I like to talk. I'm the opposite. No, I do that. I get too drunk and then I sit there for two hours and then I go home.

Yeah. But I get about two hours of silence, silent peace at a bar. Yes. And just other people talking around me. Yeah. And I don't let, I can't even overhear what they're saying. I'm just sitting there thinking about. I like to make a new friend when I drink.

Yeah, I don't know. As I get older, it just makes me more and more sleepy. Yeah. It makes me sleepy. That's why I don't, I haven't like you, been, been, liking drinking man i've been every day i've i've been drinking a THC soda when i get home from work yeah and these things just kill me dude they're not even good you're back on weed i've been i've been on weed for years i thought you'd quit i quit for like three months no i quit for like a year yeah

but i just it's just so amazing to me i just like the feeling of weed i wish but not really yeah it's just something it's something it is a stimul it's stimulating you know it make all the reggae i I listened to so good. I would make it everyone so good. I would listen to that song every once in a while. It's like, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling I read. I'll listen to that every once in a while.

I listen to so much now. Like all the, because my friend Chris sent me a playlist and I've been on this huge dance hall kick for so long. Mr. Thayer, man. Mr. Thayer, shout out. He's a dance hall expert. Oh, yeah. What's that play?

He has a playlist named after one of the songs and it's called Laser Beaming. That's so good. I want to go doing that so bad. I want to do Jamaican stuff. Laser beams are Jamaican? Yes. They invented them.

They invented them. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Jamaicans invented so much that we don't give them credit for. I give them credit for a lot. A hub of ingenuity. In America, in the States, we don't.

Put some of us, Jamaica booze. You guys ever read a neuromancer? You know that book? I know it, but I never read it. There's hella Jamaican guys in that. That's awesome. It's just like. How did this guy come up with this shit?

Dude, it's pretty sick. Yeah, if there's that many Jamaicans in it, William Gibson. True, true, he probably was fucking. But they're just like, it's like, I wish I could remember exactly what they do in the book. I don't want to talk out of my ass, but it's just like,

it's like a hacker and he's going around and then he's always, he goes and he hangs out with the Jamaican guys. I wish you would talk out of your ass like Ace Ventura. Yeah. I wish I could. Yeah, funny as fun. Most of my ass can say this.

That's mostly it. Hank Hill impression. Well, it can also say fart. It doesn't say fart. It farts. I think that's a butt's language. It doesn't say fart. I think butts communicate to each other through farts.

But it doesn't say fart. That'd be a good animated film, adult animated movie. Or a TV show at the very least. Isn't that already a TV show? Wasn't there an adult swim show about a talking butt? That was Assy McGee and he was a cop. He was a cop. Okay.

But one where it's like we don't, it's like the peanut where we never see... You know what? I think there's probably... I think there's actually like 500,000 children's books that are this. For the kid to take out of the school library without parental oversight.

About butts that talk to the show. I liked... When I was a kid, I was on the raunchier side of the Scholastic Book Fair. I never liked the normal book, kids' book stuff. I liked the stuff that had toilets in it. Yeah.

Captain Underpants. I mean, I've talked about it before you guys made fun of me, a stinky cheese man. Stinky Cheese, man. We never made fun of you. I don't think I would have made fun of it. I'm sure I did, but I do like the Stinky Cheeseman. You know the book.

We made, yeah, because you said your mom was in a play of the Stinky Cheese. That's why we made fun of it. It's not true, though. She wasn't in that she was in something that reminded me of the Sting Cheeseman. Okay. All right. Yeah, because I loved the Stinky Cheese Man was funny, man. I did a.

Because those are all, you know, obviously we all grew up brothers grim basically every single night. And so to have those stories flipped on their heads. We had a, like, in second grade, we had like, it was called Hat Day or something, or was like some kind of like little thing where like you had to do, make a hat based on a book that you were reading and I did Stinky Cheese Man. What was that? I don't remember. Sticky Cheese Man is nice because like.

It might have been a slice of cheese. I'm just, cheese being a childhood obsession of many children. Stinky cheese is basically, that's like a euphemism for poop. It's like, oh, that's something that stinks that we can put on the cover of the book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can make a man made out of this. Stinky cheese really was such a... I mean, cheese touch, obviously.

I'm realizing now that's got to be what it was. Stinky cheese. They wrote the stinky poop man. And they sent it to the publisher. They said, or not, we can't sell us at the book fair. It looked the same, though. It looked like the cheese. And they were like that. I'm sorry, this looks nothing like poop.

It looks like a piece of cheese. What can you get to cheese, man? But you don't actually find, like, stinky cheese. What is there a kind of... Rogonzola? I guess, but like, that's, what's that? What's that maggot cheese from Italy? Nobody's actually eating that shit.

That's a fake one. Yeah. That's one that people, that they say. They say it and they also always Zimmerman or whatever his name is. They always preface it by being like, this is illegal to own. I was in the crossword this morning, there was a clue. So, spoilers for the Friday crossword, there was a clue that was, it was like, George Orwell said this cheese was.

was better than any cheese in the world. But just the idea of that being like that George Orwell was on record for. When did that come on? That's such an oral loss. If you're writing 1984 and animal farming, like you have to not, like when you're giving an interview, just don't talk about,

by the way, what my favorite is? What do you do on the weekend? That's from an era. when I think nowadays you could probably find a quote like that from every single celebrity author and director but back then you could actually have a little bit of mystique and a little

bit of aura and you can't be you can't be telling people that you love Stilton you're the guy who invented Big Brother and you're walking around going hmm it was the wording the wording of it was really funny way I'll look at what it was like this cheese is chief among right it was really chief among George Orwell's favorites

I think it was like what he said okay real life grommet yeah that's right Wallace real life Wallace Which kind of cheese even is Stilton? I don't know. Stilton. I think I've only ever heard Stilton from Wallace and Gromwich. Yeah.

Is it a type of cheddar? I don't know. The best cheese of its type in the world per George Orwell. Stilton. Stilton. Well, they love the British love like. They love that type of cheese. Yeah, they love like a sharp cheddar.

I like a sharp cheddar. Me too. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. Oh my God. Nothing wrong with that. It's just that and mustard. It's fucking expensive to it. You go get like a block this big, a sharp cheddar, like good cheese.

It's like 11 bucks. That was the worst. If you got to block this big, though. Yeah. If you get the smallest block possible. That's true. That's true. Walking in with that gatorade cap.

Do you guys want to go in? This much stilton cheese? Do you guys want to go in on a wheel of cheese? No. No, that's cringe as fuck. Why? That's very cringe. I'm kind of upset that you just said that.

Why? How expensive are they? It's not about the Expensivity It's about the cringiness What is so cringe about A wheel of cheese What's cring about a wheel of cheese?

I'm sick of this cringe crap Have you guys seen somebody Yeah or something I saw a video I've never heard of doing that

I said I said What is a cringe What is crazy I did see The video The guy who refuses To sell the wheel of cheese

He has the wheel of cheese And he keeps making food in it and then he keeps cleaning it out. He made a polonias in it. There's a video of a like a guy, a rich kid who's trying to buy a full wheel of the Parmigiano Reggiano the huge super expensive one.

And the guy at the store is like, no, you can't buy that. Don't buy that. And the guy's like, I have the money. I have the money. What? You're going to stop me from buying it. And the guy's like, yeah, put it back. Get out of here. So it's impossible to buy it. It's illegal to own. What do you mean? You get a ton of cheese. It's like thousands of dollars.

Yeah. That's why I was asking you guys to go in with me. Giano. But I'm just saying the type of person who would do that. They don't make wheels of American cheese. Okay, well, how do they make a video of the person who buys that? If they don't make it in a wheel, how do they make it in squares? They make it in flaps.

They cut that out of a wheel. No, they don't. They just put that out of American cheese. Don't they just pour that in a big trough? Yeah, they pour it on the bag. I have to imagine that's like a taffey machine. It's a wheel. It's aged.

It's not aged, but I would love a slice like that. I do like when they try to make. That's how they age American cheese. You know how fucking cringe and. Reddit I am I love when they try to make it's like oh I'm making American cheese you know I'd go in on a wheel of Brie with you yeah those aren't that big and I wouldn't need I'll go in I don't even to brag I wouldn't need your help buying a wheel this is this is you are the type person to try a buy damn wheel of cheese a thousand dollar you are cringe bro dude why I just don't understand

money talks wealth whispers study that mm-hmm it's called quiet luxury spend a couple days studying that studying that just studying that sentence put those four words paint them on your wall. Go one word by one. Money. So that's... He comes in dressed up like Steve Jobs in like two days. Little tiny sunglasses.

Black turtleneck. She's like... I've thought about doing the Steve Jobs look. Yeah. What was with that look? Was that just like that look is so fucking trash? I bet that he... Funniness.

It was not funniness. I bet he had some type of weird thing. I bet he dressed like shit and they had like a PR firm that was like lean into this. Oh, yeah. Like you, this, you want, we want you to be the face of the company that. The blue jeans, the black turtleneck, the little glasses. The debilitating cancer. The cancer ravishing every part of your body.

The swollen neck. The huge bulbous thyroid. The fruit juice. The fruit juice cup that he's like, this is going to work. The terrible serpentine scar on your stomach to your chest. The lack of an empathy center in the brain. This is all part of the outfit. The disgusting, stinking feet.

Yes. The horrible cancerous feet. What a fucking piece of shit. Rot in hell, Steve Jobs. You think he got the cancer from... Rotten hell because you bullied somebody. Yeah. I don't really know why.

He got the cancer from being around. You bullied PCs with those commercials. You made Justin Long go against Judge John Hodgman. Did you guys know? That's messed up, man. I just learned this for the first time. We go v. ads. I bet you already know this.

Yeah. I just learned this for the first time. My wife just told me this. Did you know that the voice of Alvin, the chipmunk, is Justin Long? I knew that. I knew you. Did you know that? You didn't know that, right?

No, but I had no idea. It makes perfect sense. Yeah. I don't know that it doesn't make sense or not make sense to me. It's like I do. It's just a high voice. It makes sense because it's like who, I mean, it would. Is he singing too?

No. I doubt it. He's not the singer. He's the voice of the character. But just obviously, you wouldn't know who any of those people. So it's just funny that. Did you see that interview recently where David Cross is like, I will never work with Alvin and the chipmunks people again? I saw that because it's like, like, he, he had to.

shut down production on Todd Margaret for it, which like makes sense. But like, I saw that and in my head I could only imagine him being like, I'll never work with those fucking chipmunks again. Yeah, it's in character. Yeah, it's like totally in character. And he's like clearly talking about the production. Yeah, he's clearly talking about the production, but

I'm just so stupid that I was like, oh my God, he hates those fucking chipmunks. I mean, he just said, I was like, it would be annoying to have to act with three ball three. Yeah, little three ping pong balls. And be mad at them. Yeah. I don't know.

Having to yell at a ping pong ball for like a week. It would be so funny if there was a behind the scenes like making of where they do the CGI for Alvin and the Chitmunks. And it's like Justin Long in a full suit. And then it does the thing where it wipes over. And it just fully maraces him down to a chipmunk this big. Yeah. They have to like, you can see every you can see every single scene in Alvin the Chipmunks that has

Alvin in it. There's like weird like shimmering background. Yeah. You can see his day. You have to be fully naked. They do full visual replacement of the background. We have to make you nude. We have to shave you.

Yeah. So that you can be the perfect chimpunk. We're going to do with practical effects at first. Full body. Full body. That would be cool. If they did force perspective, put him in a chipmunk outfit.

Put him miles away. He's really quiet. He's really quiet. They have to build sets that. are the width of a normal room but a mile long. With a huge furniture at the other end.

I think that's a good idea. That would be cool. Nobody's doing forced perspective anymore. No, we need more force to best, the best,

there's a new, there's a new Gollum movie coming out, so I think we could see this techniques rather soon. Really? Knowing these current movies,

they're going to use CGI, though. They're going to use CGI. But they might use a little bit of force perspective. They don't even want to do force perspective anymore. Yeah,

but there's going to be Hobbits in the movie. There has to be. Is Mr. Circus going to play Gollum again? Is he going to repress? I would have to imagine so. I hope he does the voice at least. But Gallum once was a Hobbit, was he not?

Or was he, no, he was a... He was a Hobbit, who was corrupted. He was a pre-Hobbit. He was a, what are they fucking... Proto Hobbit? Yeah, I think they're literally maybe called Proto. Well, that's a great name for a Hobbit, Proto. He was something. Proto. That is good. That is good. Smigel and Deagle. Yeah. What the fuck is Deagle? The eagle was his brother. The brother who dies.

And Deagle finds the ring and then Smeagle... He deagles. He'd... He fucking mice and mends him. Really? For the ring. How did you kill guys back then with no guns? He strangles him. Yeah.

And he goes, My presence. One time. For the one time. For the one time. He talks normal and then he gets the ring and he goes, My presence. Immediately.

Instantly. The power is so corrupting. And then he lives for thousands of years. Oh, God. This power. Is he thousands of years old in the movie? Yeah, hundreds at least. He really because he seems younger than the rest of the guys.

He just looks. He's shorter. He kind of, like, can I say something? he looks pregnant. Yeah. Yeah. has a shine. It's because he eats all that damn fish. Yeah, that's true. That's probably what it is. He has a

luxurious coat. He eats raw fish. He does. Nothing wrong with that. It's implied in the novel that he... He's playing the trumpet. What the fuck? He's playing the trumpet over there. Hey, speak for yourself. Yeah. Come on. What do you have

to say? Nothing. Was that a correction trumpet? That was a correction trumpet? But in the in the novels, it's implied that Gollum eats babies. Really? That's what I've been seeing.

I don't remember that. I've been seeing this on Lord of the Rings. Dude, that's some of the darkest things. Well, in the novel, speaking of the darkest things, Gollum's completely pitch black. Yeah. Really? Yeah.

That would be a really hard sell. I can see why they made a pale white movies. Hey guys. Hey guys, we're looking for an actor. Can you be completely pitch? Andy, so you want to be completely pitch black. He's not real. No, I know.

But like. Hey, why did they not make him? completely pitch black. They did it. That would be fucking cool. Ranking and bass one. He's like a spider in the book. He can crawl up walls and stuff.

Oh, really? Holy fuck. He's not really like a spider. Original Gala looks so cool. Like the, like, I don't know if it's Bokshi or Ranking in Bass. That's the animated one from the 70s.

I remember that. Those look so cool. I think the Hobbit is Rankin Bass and then the Lord of the Rings is Bokshi. Yeah. Because Lord of the Rings has all the rotoscoping. Yeah. Roto scoping was cool, bro. Ralph Bokshi's so awesome.

He's fucking cool. What else did? His crap. He did. Cool World. Fritz the Cat. Oh, okay. Wizards. Wizards. I don't know. Wizards. Fire and ice. Is that him too? I think so. Wizards was on YouTube for free under the name Bernie versus Trump for a long time. Completely free. It was crazy. That's how I watched it. His animation is so sick. That Lord of the Rings one is so tight too because the rotoscoping sometimes looks like shit.

It looks insane. It looks insane. And it's like, this is crazy. It sometimes looks like the Zelda TV show. Yeah. Yeah. But sometimes it literally looks like like it looks like a fucking like scratch game or something.

It looks so crazy. I don't know how they did this at all. It's awesome. Dude. Like the orcs are like just look like, they look like Mortal Kombat Sprites. Yeah. They've done rotoscoping for some time either.

Yeah. Or not rotoscoping. Dude, they do it. Hellen and Smiling Friends. It's true. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah, it looks really funny on that too. Yeah, it looks good.

The brother fight. Is that that that YouTuber? Does he do that for that? I think there's a bunch of different people. Yeah, but I think his rotoscoping is like some kind of program. They do like actual tracing rotoscoping on there too. Yeah. I think they have a million different animators.

Well, they did. They did. They're shutting it down. It's gone. The final smile. It's been gone. Rick and Morty persisting. Yes.

Persisting. Rick and Morty is still on the TV? Persistent. Yes. Whoa. Never ever going to go. Yeah. The new forever.

Well, that's the thing. That's the thing about... It was a gap. I feel like it was... Oh, no. Bob's Burgers is a Forever cartoon. Yeah. And then it was Rick and Morty.

But then before Bob's Burgers, it was like... This is something that... American Dad. This is something that Noah Colan introduced to me is the weed store. Once it's in the weed store, it's a forever cartoon. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Because the Rick and Morty Bongs, the Rick and Morty Grinders, Rick and Morty rolling things.

Well, that's everything. Smiling Friends was about to get there and they pulled the plug. Smiling Friends might be a little bit too intellectual for the stuff. Yeah, they have that at the Adderall store. Yeah. At CBS. Yeah. Smiling Friends prescription bottles and Smiling Friends Clareton D.

Just any kind of thing that you can get fucked up on. They just have Smiling Friends on it. Yeah, DXM. Yeah. Yeah, they got Delsome Smiling Friends bottles. That would be pretty sick. That would be cool. That would be cool. But now we're on the search.

for the next one. I know. Post Rick and Morty. God, it's going to be so hard to get a new cartoon. It's probably going to be... A new cartoon that takes a world by storm. Probably going to be...

Taking the world by storm is that... I mean, that's a key to almost every media property. Is if you can really take the world by storm, that's when you've succeeded. Yeah. That's a good point. That's a good mark of success. It's a good starting point.

Yeah. It's like, first off, take the world by storm. Yeah. Then the rest is history. Have it be unescapable. Uh-huh. Become undeniable as a cartoon. Well, that's like the first...

Become a cartoon. Yeah. First of all, become a cartoon. Second of all, become undeniable. Third, become. How to take the world by storm. Third, take the world by storm. Step one, become a cartoon.

Mm-hmm. Fuck, I want to become a cartoon. I wish I could be a cartoon. You are. I have cartoon features. I've been called a cartoon before by people. I think you would serve yourself well being two-dimensional. Somebody has called me a tune in the past.

I wouldn't take that laying down. I took it laying down. Yeah, flat as a pancake. Got flattened by an Acme product. Guys, Acme versus Wiley Coyote. By ketchup. Entertainment. Thank you, ketchup.

Hit the ketchup. I don't know if we have it anymore. We took away ketchup. That's the best one. Dude, I just don't like when you tell me to hit stuff because I have to go through and find it. Whoa.

Wait, wait. There it is, guys. Wait, ready, ready? Thank you. Catch up. This is all worth it. It was so worth it. We did it.

We did it. We found ketchup. We found ketchup. I'm whipping you hanging. I'm going to watch this. I got to give it up for that. He's ketchup. Look at that.

He's ketchup. Dress like it at least. I'm excited for that movie. I think I'll be watching that movie. Oh, yeah. I have no problem watching this kind of a movie. Me too. It goes down smooth for me.

Yeah. What the hell? Yeah. Stitch jumped out. Dude, what the fuck else is going on, guys? I don't know. What's going on in the world right now? I'm playing Zelda, link between worlds.

I'm on the final. I'm in low rules. Castle. Nice. This is what they did. They have high rule and then they have a low rule. A low rule.

Oh, really? Which one is this? Is this an old one? This is from 2013. It's on my 3DS. Okay. Oh yeah, you've been on the 3DS,

but you're not doing the 3D, which is interesting. No, I do it sometimes. I do it for at least 30 minutes and then I stop. Yeah. The 3D is kind of underwhelming.

It was kind of an amazing thing. It was pretty crazy. Oh, yeah. When it first came out, I was like, whoa. When they figure out how to make that really good, it's going to be really good.

I think they kind of had, they kind of did that on 3D TVs and just nobody cared. Yeah. I think they got really good and then they realized nobody wants that. Yeah, no one wants it at all because of the headaches. I think until it's fully VR. Yeah. I think that's when people will care about it. Even then, people don't really care.

My nephews are so obsessed with VR right now. They got a headset because they're, my cousin has one. My cousin's the same age of them. And they have been playing with him, but the meta quest or whatever they have has a speaker on it. And they don't realize that we can hear them going into servers. And when I was home, like, two weekends ago, it was just a video. There's just, like, a video game of a bunch of children. It's a Spider-Man game.

Yeah. And you play as a Spider-Man. It's called, like, Untangled or something. And a kid was in there just calling another kid Hard R. Damn. Hard R N-word. And I, like, was the old, I was watching them. And I was like, are you, what game is this?

Can I just, like, look? And it's a Spider-Man game. What you want there is to see. see the on the other side because there's definitely a parent that's next to that kid too. Yeah. Who's just letting it that, letting that kid's got headphones on. Well,

but headphones don't cover your mouth. That's true, yeah. You know, you realize that after you said that. Or the dad, I meant the dad has headphones on. Oh,

that dad has headphones on. He's sitting there big. It's becoming more and more common. It's an audio file dad. Oh, you think he's sitting there. I'm familiar. He's got a listening room.

He's got a listening room. He's in there. He's in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. He's got a version of, I think Asia was the only part of the song, is the guy going, Chinese. I know a guy who has a listening room dad.

Yeah. And it's like his whole thing is he has this listening room. It's like crazy, tube amps and shit. Listening room is so crazy. I was over at his house. I literally would love that. It's like a sun room. Yeah, a listening room, your listening room should also be like your living room or something.

If you have a specific room that's only that. Yeah. It's pretty crazy. That's not right. You should build a home theater instead. I would walk by and he would just be like this on the couch just listening to. Dude, that's a true audio. Listening to what?

He was listening to like just some shit that I'd never heard. Oh, except at one point it was. Never made it. At one point I walked by. I thought this was, at one point I walked by and I heard, I love rock. That's a bit.

That's pretty sick to just sit back there. That's a good one. Just close your eyes and be like, transported to another world. I need it was just a wall of sound hitting me. I love rock and roll. Because the people who have the money to do that stuff are not the people that can really appreciate it.

And that's why you have like dentists with like 20K guitars. It is funny. I guess I never thought about it before. But like I guess if like if I built a listening room or something like that, it would make me so insecure about my taste in music. Oh, yeah. I would be like what I would feel like I would, would be songs where I'd be like, I want to hear the song right now.

I'm going to go listen to this on my phone speakers in the other room, and then I'm going to come back to the listening room and switch back to it. I would do, if I had that sort of spare room, like the bonus room where you don't know what to do with it and your wife's like, whatever, do whatever, I think I would do a full VR room. That's cool. That is like 12 feet on each side or whatever and has maybe I get one of those crazy treadmills and I'm like falling over all the time. You get the hollow deck? Yeah, I get all the holodeck from Star Trek. Yeah, I probably do a factory.

factor well because in that's passive income that's good yeah passive income you guys like a bunch of little kids in there making shoes yeah just a lot of cracking a whip in there just that would be a good use yeah of a room and then you have your you know like grant you probably have kids in this scenario right yeah maybe and then you know then they can like you know they can work over a shift yeah put in a shift or watch over the factory hey uh timmy broke his arm you think you can stay home from school and yeah you're breaking your kids arm so you can work more at the no no I'm saying one

of the kids I have, I have worked in. He broke his arm. I need my... One of the little sweatshop boys. I'm calling the principal. I'm saying, hey, I can't... I got it. I had a no-call, no-show.

Yeah. Is it okay if my son... What do you mean? The spelling bees today? Well, all these textiles aren't going to weave themselves. Yeah, that's right. He's going to be...

Your son is the only... People's names. My name. Your son is our only shot at regional. For the smelling me. Making tapestries that just say your name? Well, it's my Father's Day gift.

Father's Day is a couple months away So I have him hit the factory And do Caleb Mm-hmm I tried to use a weaving loom one time At one of those like This shit is hard Villages

It's fucking hard as fuck I could put the pedal to the metal I couldn't do it at all Do you remember when people During COVID were getting into rug making No Fuck no Tufting

Rug tufting No man You got a tufting gun And then you get like a big Like bored This was something that When I was living All

Crafts. Yeah. I have no interest in craft. I was considering doing this because it looked easy. There's a new fucking ceramics place, pottery place near my house. My wife's like, let's go do a class. No.

I do not want to... A class I don't support. I do not want to do anything. Like a paint and sip? No, no. It's like a real like you go. You pay like 200 bucks and you learn how to make... And you get like the worst dish ever.

There's hell of ceramic studios in this neighborhood. I don't want to pay $200 to have my worst. plate that I'll never use. Right. A plate that you hang on the wall. Yeah. I think isn't the joy of something of a craft like that is figuring, is like looking up a video and figuring out how to do it yourself and like getting all this stuff.

I was thinking about trying to get into, I was, well, I really wanted to make a wooden spoon. Oh, yeah. It's one of those things where I just don't have, I don't have a place to do it. I don't have a yard. Do you need a lathe for a wooden spoon? No, you can do it with it like, you can get a set of knives, but it's like, I'm just going to be, I'm not going to like do it over the trash can. Like that's just, you know what I mean?

And I don't have, I don't, and I can't sit on my stoop with a bunch of knives and whittle a, I don't even really have a stoop. I'm imagining you in the little corner of your kitchen where the window is. Doing it right out the door. I know. It's just like, it's really, it was a bummer because I was really into it for a minute. And here's something fucked up. I was, I told my mom that I was really, like, I was like, oh, yeah, I really want to do this, but I don't have space. And she was like, oh, man, that sucks.

And then like a week later, she sent me a picture. It was like, just made a wooden spoon. You got owned. Dude, imagine how How fucking hard homemade stew would hit off the wooden spoon. I know. To be able to use that,

like, maybe I'll do it. Maybe I'll get, maybe I should do it. Maybe I should get like a big bin. Yeah. Dude, you know,

I should fucking do it. Do you remember that scene in Empire Strikes back where he eats that little thing Yoda's got going off the wooden spoon? I don't remember that. I literally, I'm thinking about that right now.

And you know what? My wife was not too happy. about the idea either, but fuck her. Yeah. Exactly. I could... As long as it's in the 40 gallon, whatever. Yeah.

We'll have to find a place to put it. You just put it on her desk. Yeah. Yeah. Put it under her desk. Yeah. So there you go. God, I should do it.

And to make a bowl and a spoon. Oh. Serial. And here's the thing. I would literally... I would walk around and I would just find pieces of wood on the ground and I would just go home and start carving. I could do that.

If I had the tools. If you had the know-how. by the tools and the know-how. I'm also probably going to gravely injure myself. Oh, yeah, you're dead. You have a splinter this big? I like don't heal well.

Yeah. No healing factor? I have like negative healing factor. I have a scar. I have multiple scars on my hand from times that my dog placed her paw on my hand. I have one of those.

It seems like, yeah. You see that? Not really. Me too. Yeah, that's from my dog going like this. That's from Mo. Dude. It's crazy.

Yeah. A dog's claws are less sharp than a cat's claws. That is true. Oh, that's another mo. You got battle scars, man. This one is from when my friend had just moved into her apartment and I was sharpening her knives. Yeah. She had the knives and the sharpener.

That's going to be me. Somebody said to me, hey, stop playing with the knife sharpener. You're going to cut yourself. And I went, I'm fine. And then immediately did it in front of. I cut the tip of my thumb off, but it came back. Oh, you know what I need to get? Okay, so I need to get the carving knives.

A big fucking bin like Jesse gets in Breaking Bad to dissolve that body when he breaks the whole floor of that whole house. Yeah, his house, by the way, his parents house. That entire house. And I need to get chain mail gloves. Yes. Yeah. Cheamail gloves.

This is what? The loudest, messiest possible craft. To make a spoon that's this thing. Your wife's trying to work. One time and never touch it again. Yeah. Well, no, you would be, if you made, if you made it, it would be a year where you're only eating stuff with a spoon.

Yeah. Yeah. You'd be walking around with that in your pocket just right there. You're eating a steak with a spoon. Yeah. And by the way, don't worry, I brought my own. Don't worry about bringing me cutlery. And here's what I'll say.

A spoon would be a starter project. Yeah. Pretty soon I'd be creating idols. Idols, wooden knives. Yeah. No, that'd be a way backwards. It's making spears. Yeah.

You don't want to get into the idol game. Why not? Because it's so oversaturated. I'm not going to, none of this is for selling or for, it's for me. You wouldn't give me one as a gift from a birthday. I'd give you one if you wanted one. You'd give me an idol. An idol if you wanted an idol.

Would it be a good idol? I think it would take me years to get to an idol. I have to imagine if I got this equipment, it probably take me months to get a working spoon. I mean, start at Chochie. A working spoon. Start at Chochkey or like, you know. I think a spoon is the starting point. I think a spoon or a bowl, but I think a spoon is better because it's just as you can get it out of a stick.

I've seen guys make spoons in a day. My mom made a spoon. a week. Yeah. Just to piss me off. And she has one arm. It was pretty fucking impressive. Yeah.

But maybe I should just do that. I think you should, man. I think I think it's good to have something like that. Just really wish I had a backyard to do that in. It really does. It really does take a lot of the... Yeah. You go on your roof.

Because you want to have me like out in the sun, listening to music. You can go on my roof. Having a cigarette. I could bring my... I could bring my set of 10 knives to you. Come to my house. Ring all the doorbells on someone lets you man. With a giant.

My roof, we have roof access in my apartment. Well, if I'm on the roof, I don't need the bucket. I'm just doing it over the edge. Oh, yeah. My neighbor has a backyard. They just have a piece of a roof. Yeah. You can do it right in my neighbor's backyard.

Yeah. They're old. They're old. I wish that was something you could do in the park too, but you can't be fucking doing that in the park. I mean, who's going to stop you? Me. But it's just like, it's just like you can't be doing that. You know what I mean?

I disagree. I think it's a crazy person thing to do. I see a guy carving a spoon in the park I'm walking up to him going, oh my God. How long have you been carving spoons? It depends on how good you are. I can't be the guy who's carving spoons in the park. I just can't.

I don't, I'm like here. That's going to knock me down. What if you have a sign that says, I don't even exist? And then people just walk by you and they go, oh, well, it doesn't even. It's not even real. Oh, you paint yourself up like a gold statue, right? Yeah. You wearing a big bronze statue and you're carving the spoons.

And then everyone comes up to you and is like. And then you have a hat. You were putting money in that. I could sell the spoons. Right. At the park. We got to see spoons. It's made to order.

Oh. Yeah. You forgot to get utensil from. Yeah, for your picnic. And you're a bronze statue and you're acting animatronic. What you're doing? You're going, dude, it's not a bad idea. That'd be good.

All I would have to do is get a hell of paint. Yeah. I think you would just need. If you went and did it at a pet the park. If I could do silver paint and then my chain mail gloves would blend right in. Oh, yes. Yes. Chain mail gloves.

I think this is a really. amazing safety precaution. Yeah. And you're going to be goggles. I've seen who, oh, oh, you should get a full, like, safety suit to do this. Yeah. Hasmat with chainmail gloves. On the couch. Yeah. A full just, you do need,

yeah, you do need, yeah, like, you know, stuff to block your vision. So yeah, medieval night. No, I mean, a splinter gets in your eye. Yeah. Dude, you were not whittling at a speed where a splinter is going to coming from you have no idea what he's capable of. I'll wear bifocals because then I can get in close.

How about Crescent Moon glasses? Oh, that's cool. That seems kind of unprotective. But you would look so much cooler if you were doing it like that, like this? Yeah. Everybody looks cooler doing that. Did Ben Franklin invent bifocals? Yeah, I believe so.

They say that. Yeah, he probably stole it from a... But I believe the Ottomans invented the... He probably stole it from a blind guy. Yeah. Well, bifocals is... that's the innovation on the glasses. I know, but the glass,

you got to give it up for the glasses. I think you definitely do. People are always talking about these bifocals because Ben Franklin are fucking whitey. People use hell of those glasses way more than these bifocals. He's got to be the ugliest person ever, right?

It's pretty ugly. He literally got super pussy from ours. Yeah, that's crazy. What you have to think about with Ben Franklin, like, ugliness is that when they're like doing paintings of people from that era and stuff,

they're gassing them. They're gassing the fuck up. And he still looks ugly in all the paintings. Yeah, exactly. He almost never seen a guy from back then. He was a head. He's getting hella pussy.

He probably looked like Hector Salamunk. You never see a guy from back then where you're like, that's a hot. That guy could be hot now. Yeah. You know, that's rare. At the very least, some of them have like aura.

Like George Washington, you see him and he's like, oh, he's like, the pictures of him doing this. But Benjamin Franklin's, he's in, he's in,

this is what he's doing in every painting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's getting fucked up. And they always paint his big round belly. Dude, he's a piece of poison animal.

He's always sitting in a chair like this. Yeah. Yeah. And George Washington is like Standing tall Franklin's always like Yeah He's got like

They have a pile Of just like Arby's in front of him A famous painting of Benjamin Franklin And he's lying flat under his bed Yeah He was a party animal bro Yeah So he's him in the bathtub

Photo of Benjamin painting of Benjamin Franklin He's got a goddamn lampshade on his head Yeah Dick is out Boxers with the hearts all over His cocks poking through him Yeah.

He's got fucking tissue boxes for shoes. He's taped to his hands. He did lots of stuff that was impressive shirt. Yeah. But his almanacs, the fact that almanacs were a thing, and that was his famous thing was that he wrote an almanac. And an almanac, you look at it, and it's like a penny saved is a penny earned. Yeah.

And that was, you could write a, that was writing a book. Tomorrow it will either be sunny or rainy. Yeah. Oh, thank you. Thanks, Ben. People were writing like fucking, people were writing stuff back then. People were writing, you know, whatever. Well, for instance, the Constitution of the United States of America.

Yeah. Yeah. But for that to be, that's like when, that's like when somebody goes viral on Twitter and they make, they write a book off of that. Carter Wilkerson, the Nuggets kid. I don't know what that is. Shit my dad says. It's shit my dad. It's actually more in line with that.

It's fully shit my dad says. Is, yeah. Can you imagine doing Edward tankered hands with him, though? Staying up late. We'll make you tired. Yeah. You're like, wow. Where's the wisdom?

Quadruple platinum. Yeah. from the infomer of the bifocal. The bifocal lens. Well, that was the thing, though. Benjamin, every day. I'm using them right now. Now I'm not.

Now I am. He was making bifocals, but then shit my dad says, it was just a fucking dad. What kind of shit? I don't, honestly, that was kind of before my time. Yeah. What kind of shit did the dad say? Immigrants. What's the most?

Was it racist? Let me see what's the most like, well, not like a lot of it. But I think some of it was, you know. Best shit my dad said. They made a show. Wait. Willie, I'll pull this up. They made a show a damn will shit.

That's shit my dad says. There's a... What the fuck is this? Stinky Cheese Man musical. Oh, shit. They were Michael Jackson's second family. Now they say he abused him. Yeah, get in line, dude.

Everybody's always trying to come after this guy. I know somebody who went and saw that Michael movie in 4D. 4D. Yeah. We ain't a sharp species. We kill each other over arguments about what happens when you die, then fail to see the fucking irony in that. Is that?

That's about Cormack McCarthy? I thought he was like, like, where's my burger? Yeah. See, you think I give a shit wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking, how can I give less of a shit? That's why I look interesting. His dad is like Clint Eastwood? Yeah, this is not at all what I thought this was like.

Me neither. And they made a comedy show of this? I didn't know this was words of wisdom. Yeah. No, I'm not a pessimist at some point. The world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist. So he just cusses and says, like, yeah.

Also, there's a grown man named. Justin. An old man named Justin. That's dark. That's weird. That's a dark life to leave. Oh, look up this album cover. Justin Tubbs singing with my daddy. It's Ernest Tubbs' son.

Singing with my daddy. I think it's called singing with my daddy, but this is an adult Justin that I really love this album cover. You got to change it Justin Tubb is a great name too. I didn't know that Cal. I actually learned this for crossword. Cal can be short for Caleb. There it is.

Ernest and Justin. That's cool. That's a good guy. Just you? Dude. Look at the fucking bad photo shop by Ernest. Wow, his dad's quite old. Yeah.

Why have they not yet made a pop album? That's Bieber versus Timberlake. The two Justin's. Justin's great. Isn't that great? I just thought of that. That's really good. My money's on Bieber these days.

I'm not going to lie. Dude, that Coachella set where he's watching YouTube. So awesome. I didn't do it to see that. Oh. Dude, he's literally, he's at his cut. I didn't do that. I didn't do that.

I didn't do that. Wait, I'm not. Your Hannah Montana is Justin Bieber. Have I ever told you guys, when I was a kid, I used to fantasize about meeting Justin Bieber in a Walmart. Yeah. I don't think you're gay. Imagine me at like a clothing rock and he's seeing him at Walmart.

I'm like, hey man, I don't really like listen your music that much, but I feel like you get a lot of unwarranted hate and I feel like you're probably just a good guy. Which he would love. Every time I learned about a celebrity that was near my age, for some reason, I would imagine meeting them at a Walmart and being like, bro, you're actually just, like, I'm not, I'm not into, like, hating on you or liking you. Like, I'm very removed from culture. I definitely, I definitely felt that way about Rebecca Black. I had the same thing with Rebecca Black. Yeah, those were, those were maybe the truth.

It's not your fault. Yeah, it's really not a big deal. I felt so bad for Rebecca Black. Yeah, me too. At a certain, like, when I heard the song, I was like, I remember being like, at least she's trying. Yeah. It's her birthday, man. It's like your fucking birthday.

For her birthday, everybody's just shit on her for years. What do you guys do? Yeah, you make a song. You make a fucking song with a weird producer guy. Who can rap, by the way. Yeah, hold that. Wait, I love his rapping. Is there anyone out there?

What's that guy's name? Her producer? I don't know. I don't remember. But he did a bunch of songs like that. Yeah. He did my jeans. Do you remember my jeans?

I think he did my jeans. Yeah. Ashley Tisdill is wearing my. jeans. That song is great, too. I love that one. Friday was good music out of the world. That guy.

Oh, wait. No, it's not Pierre. Never mind. Pierre? Pierre? You want to come out here? Playboy Cardi? No, not.

I think his name might be Pierre. I might be wrong, but I think his name might be Pierre. The producer. That's a cool name. Pierre. Yeah. Pierre. For an American guy.

Being named Pierre. I wanted to name. one of my cats, Pierre. And then it didn't happen. I was fought. You were fought? I was fought against. I think he was either Mo or one of my old cats.

Pierre. Well, I was Pierre Sebulba. Oh, yeah. I tried to name one of the cats Pierre Sebulba. My ex got really upset and almost cried. That Pierre Sebulba? You should texture that right now. He's text her Pierre.

Pierre Sebelba. Why do you keep giving the cats terrible names? Yeah. I mean, I think Mo is a great name for a cat. I think you arrived on a good one. Pierre would have been great for him. No. Well, yeah, he acts like a Pierre. Yeah. He's a little snooty French guy. Yeah. Yeah, he's always yelling at people. Cats in general, I think. I think Pierre is a good fit for it. Pierre is a great name for a cat. You're at home right now and you need to name a cat. Pick up Pierre.

That one's free. That one's free. That one's free game. Put you on free game. Pierre. Pierre get a little beret for him, a little. That's cute. A turtleneck. Yeah. That's cute. Pierre, Mo, with Moe's a tuxedo cat.

I got him a little bow tie. Imagine him walking around being named Pierre. No, he should be named like with a, with a, that needs a British bandy name. Yes.

True. A bow tie and a tuxedo. Fontal roy. Yeah. That's good. That's hard to say. That's cute though. Roy.

Fonelroy. Roy for short. Monroe. Monroe. Monroe is really good. That is a really interesting name for an animal. Yeah. I like that.

I like that too. I've been having that name stuck in my head for some reason recently. Maybe I'll change my name to Monroe. That's a good. I just don't know. I'm so sick of being named Caleb. I already got two Caleb's ahead of me in life. It's,

it's scary. Do you ever feel like you, like you wanted to change your name when you're a kid, like take your middle name or something? I try. Nobody respected it. Yeah. And then you just lost,

you missed your chance. Yeah. I could have been Mike. I could be Mike right now. I could be Michael Pitts. That was four years. My mom has. My mom remembers the list of names I changed

to, but I think I changed my name like every week. Yeah, I definitely I had a phase where I was like, I want to be called Gordo. I wish I could just change my fucking name. Gordo. Because I love Gordo from Lizzie McGuire was cool. I want to be called Gordo.

Anytime. Anytime that I thought that a character, anytime I thought a character in a movie was cool, I wanted to go by their name. You know who else is named Gordo? Who? In Kirby. Do you know the enemies that are not even enemies?

They're just hazards. They're the black balls with some. likes on them. Oh, yeah. Those are called Gordo's. Gordo's also, I was a little tubby kid. I was a little tubby kid and then I learned later, yeah, it means fat. Gordy. Yeah. That's a good. Gordy's a good name. Gordy's a good name. You should have gone by Mall. Mall?

Yeah. Darth Mall. Gordo is nice in that you can be Gordon and you can be Gordy and then like on a goofy day. Gordon is a cool name. I don't think I've ever met a Gordon. My dad's friend is named Gordon. I got a buddy. I got a buddy named Gordon. I know a guy named Russ. I like that. That's pretty cool. Yeah. My uncle. Well, he's like my dad's friend type of uncle. Yeah, Rusty potato. Rusty. How'd you know his name?

Rusty potato. Rusty potato. Rusty. Rusty potato. Rusty potato. Why is there not a letter that's just it? I agree. That we use that so much.

His middle name could have a two, he could have two middle names, Isaiah Thomas. Rusty, it's potato. That's good. That's good. That's a name. Interesting things. That's a name we don't have much anymore. what Rusty

Rusty That's a good name That's a great Madass guy named Rusty and Armored Core 6 And that made me want to name a dog Rusty Yeah

Rusty is like a That's a dangerous dog Yeah Rusty is No Rusty is a Rusty I think was maybe Once a default dog Rusty

Every dog in the far side is named Rusty Yeah So that's why I think it was a default But it makes me It makes me think That's a dog with a past Yeah

I don't know It sounds cute to me A dog named Rusty Has a record It maybe isn't doing it Anymore But it definitely used to be He comes off is more cute to me.

No, it used to be the... I didn't teach your name Rusty. Grim Reaper. Really? Rusty Brand. Wow. That's a good name. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Russell Brand. Russell Brand. Russell, well, I don't know if he was Russell, but he went by Rusty. What's Rusty short for? Guys, Russell Brand had sex with a 16-year-old. And he said, and it was mega-fail. He said, he was mega-fail.

He was like, I wish I didn't do that, but I did it. So it was fail. Wow. Or whatever he says, something like that. Whoa. He said he said he's not going to do it anymore. And I have no choice but to take it He said it was shovel and pale.

Yeah. He's speaking cockney-riving slang. Shovel and pale is really good. I've never heard that. Did you just come up with that? That's great. Shovel and pale. It was really shovel and pale.

Shovel and pale. Well, what happened was I walked up the apples in pale. That's an interesting guy, man. He just put out his book on. His book is, his new book is the very, first publication from the Tucker Carlson publishing. Wow. So congratulations for those guys.

What's it called? The publishing house? I think it's called like Tucker Carlson Books or something. That's a good name for a publishing company. He's got a great name. That's like a great Nally Jackson. What's the name of his book. Let's see.

Russell Brand book. His book is called My Bookie Wook. Russell Beant-Boo. I swear to God, he. I swear to God, he has a book called My Bookie Wook. His book is called... Okay, it's a Christian book. Oh, and he also is launching a mayor mayor mayoral campaign for the city of London.

His book is called How to Become a Christian in Seven Days. Wow. Okay. Okay. That is mega fail. It may take 50 years of sin and serious fuckups to get started. Whoa. Like fucking a kid.

He's a toning. Wow. What a fuck up. Do you remember? And he broke Katie Perry's heart. Yeah. Backstage. Really? Backstage. Have you never seen this video?

No, but that's like, that reminds me so badly of Halsey and G.Easy who actually had to perform together while they were going through a breakup on the Today Show. There's so many cases of this in music and it's why I think music should not be around anymore. Music should not be between loves. That happened with Fergie and Josh Dumall and that's why she was doing that many backflips. She was trying to kill herself. Really? Yeah. Her cartwheels.

Fergie did backflips? You've never seen this video? No. Oh, Julio. you got to pull this one up. Fergie Today Show. She's going backflops on there because she was suicidal. She was completely suicidal and she did this.

She did this because the breakup was so completely overwhelming. And when you see this video, you will see a woman in distress. Does Fergie, to me, if I think of Fergie, I literally think of white chicks. What does she look like? Can you turn the audio on for this because he needs to hear her distress? the audio is not going to come doesn't she look like a Wayans brother whoa

holy fuck she's doing this she's going I can't hear it but I can't imagine it dub over it dub over it ready ready I'll get it I'll get it you got to sing right now oh shit

wait you should do bad life for me just doing a cover I can hear it he's doing a cover of it's never a a Fergie song what song is it She's Fergie. No, she's doing something out. Well, we can't hear it on our end.

I don't know. That's just, welcome to the jungle. No way. That's why she's doing the dance. Yeah. That's really bad. See, she's going through,

she's going through the worst. She's shaking with pain. With pain. She's going through literally the most pain she's ever felt your life. Can you imagine how good that would feel to get the worst news of your life and then they say you're up next? And you go out and you just sing the most beautiful song ever. Yeah.

The musician is not for the week. They said they say you're up next and you go out. Welcome to the jungle! Your whole family has just died. Well, I got to do this. They just dropped a nuclear bomb on San Francisco. You go, oh, it's horrible. Oh, well, the show's still happening.

Yeah, a bunch of people are here. The show must go on. The show must go on as they say. Rain, shine. Ash. I don't believe in the show must go on. Yeah. The show must never start. Fuck the show. Fuck the show for sure. No, no. The show must go on though. No, well, sometimes. Yeah.

Show must always go on. Yeah, must go on to the afterlife. That's why you'll never make it as an entertainer. Yeah, you're probably right. I don't have the bet. You don't have the cahones. Because if a nuclear bomb did drop, you would, you would probably piss your pants and run away. I would cancel my. Me? I'd be on there. So, dating's weird. Varsha before. You find out a nuclear bomb. I'm 63 years.

Yeah. So what is this? What are these new 3D apps? Yeah. Clarnia? I mean, we're paying for things with Klarna now. So this is in the year,

like, 2060 something. So Klarna has replaced everything. Klarna has replaced everything. Everything is Klarna Polymarket in Calci. Okay. Let's get your

what's up with these new futuristic set. Glooponians. Yeah. Boo. Yeah. Yeah, people are, get off the stage. You're fucking racist.

Racist piece of shit. Back when I was... You can't say glooptonian. Back when I was a kid, you could say this kind of stuff because we didn't know what glooponians were yet. Because actually, those were invented right now while I was on stage. Yeah.

Oh, guys, I'm exercising my 153th Amendment rights. Just call people glooponian. To joke about glooponians. 153th Amendment. The First Amendment is back. It's been codified. You can say glooptonian all you want. Speaking of codes.

Speaking of codes. For all the bots in the audience, 101, 101, 101. Yeah. Get the fucking. I got fucking someone, you think just because their bots, they can speak binary. Someone smashes an I beer on my head. Robot comes up to you. The I beer smashed in your head.

On your head. I mean, it started to actually work. Yeah. You pig. Yeah. Lapped in the face. It was a binary code joke. Damn.

It was a bot joke. Okay. Okay, fine. By the way, San Francisco's just been annihilated from the face of planet Earth by a nuclear bomb. But no. Get mad at me.

Chris Titanium. Go on. Get mad at me. I can't wait for the future, man. I want to revert to the past. No, it's here again. Whoa. Do you guys believe that the world's going to end?

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. You think we're at the end of history? In our lifetime, yeah. Here's my words right now. What? The sign of the end times.

What's the sign? At Netflix podcasts on Instagram. You're saying because they got the Bill Simmons show on Netflix. Netflix is now doing podcasts. That means the well has run dry for us. Our worlds are ending. Our world is ending it. You're thinking because Netflix does so well with everything that they're just going to

make better shit. They're literally going to have a show called a podcast about lists, and it's going to have Jake Shane and two other people that I think are on Apple Podcasts. Jake Shane is the only person. We're on Apple Podcasts. Or Netflix podcasts. Gotcha. So cool.

And they are going to have a show where they read listicles and we're screwed. We should just call it. We should call it quits. We should we cold pitch Netflix on buying this show? That'd be a terrible thing that wouldn't work. Yeah, we sell them the name. Because we don't do much with the list. The name is like, whatever.

Yeah. We kind of exhausted that. What would we change the name of this show to? I've always pitched Patrick's podcast. Patrick's podcast is good. I think I kind of pitched that years ago to change the name to that. What about? Wouldn't that be cute?

What about? I think it is pretty much impossible to come up with a podcast name. I'm glad that we have such a bad. We should do one. It's called like the shit stains. The deplorables. We recorded in like a bad comedy club. Yeah.

Live. Like, yeah, are the fucking shit stains. The mangled urethras. Yeah, we got a bitch on the show. Yeah. We got a bitch with tits on the show.

Welcome back to the mangled urethra. Welcome back to the mangled urethra show. We're three fuckups who were smart too much of smart asses in school. We got bad grades. What's not beatards? Welcome back to fucking dick. Pepsi the podcast. I would do that.

Dr. Peppercast, ripoff. Try having an original fucking idea. Come on, man. We already did the Dr. Peppercast. What if we made it an episode? Poop the podcast.

Now, this I like. What about the poop cast? What about the restaurant show? Okay. We talk about it. Well, we don't have to. It's our fucking show, bitch. Oh, okay.

I still like, I still want to start a news podcast called The Gist. I think that would do. Yeah, I do like that. Huge numbers. I think it has before. I think it did it mainstream appeal.

What about an adult animated? adult video-centered news podcast called The Jism. I like that. So a new video just got posted to XVidios.com. Let's take a look. Here's what you need to know. The first five minutes.

You do it like IGN reviews. A recap. And it has all the motion graphics of IGN words. Yeah. 8.1. Getting the fucking getting the, what is it? The nerds who get mad at the too much watch. thing for Pokemon Sapphire or whatever getting that.

It's like too much. You don't know about 7.1 too much water. They gave it a bad rating. They gave it an average rating and one of the complaints was too much water and all the nerds were like, it is so funny that they, it does feel sometimes, I watch this reviews sometimes and it does feel like they're only made to make people mad. I mean, I think the thing about it is, and I'm ready to, you know what,

now before I even said, what I said, I think that's wrong. But I'll say it anyway. I think this is not true, but I think it's probably the type of, like, criticism that people watch and engage with the most out of anything.

Yeah. Yeah. But I guess, I think it's music criticism. But yeah, we do that, but yeah, we do that for adult videos.

We do a 7.1, too much jizz. Yeah. Fucking. That's a, that's a, that's an okay complaint. Too much jazz.

Too much jiz. Let's design a perfect 10 adult video. Okay. Just like hot as fuck. Just sexy. Sexy girl. Yeah. No,

The mood is ripe and erotic. Big dick. Average guy with a big dick. What about just like a little dick and the guy is just getting berated and like. Steped on. Whipped. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. So he's got a little dick. Yeah. And it's in like, it's in like an acorn cage. Oh, and there's in there. It takes place in an acorn. Yeah. It takes place in Sandy Cheeks dome.

And so this green woman is just whipping him. Yeah. And there's just, oh my God. There's just a few. Squidward. It's a cake made out of Jizz. Yeah.

And she makes him eat this. She makes him eat that plate. Oh and he is no shoes on. The ceramic plate. He has no shoes on, but there's mousetraps on the floor.

And he's been walking in the desert all day. And there's mousetraps on the floor. And we put sunburnt as fuck. He's peeling. Yeah. He's peeling skin off the back of his neck. That's part of it is she's got

clothes pins and she's peeling the sunburn off. And you imagine. There's people. And the whole thing. There has to be a sunburn finish with each... A ring camera. Each foot has an Instaflix 360 on it. So we see mostly the foot.

It's like picture and picture. Yeah. Where it's the main action and then there's like two bottom left and bottom right foot and foot. We're seeing everybody's feet. Oh and his ears are full of Q-tip so he can't hear anything. He has elf ears. Yeah.

And she can't hear anything she's down. Oh, my God, he's an elf. Oh, he's an elf. She's a barbarian. She's a barbarian woman. Barbarian woman peels sun. sunburn off of elf with tiny dick. Foot POV.

Teaser. Teaser. Because you gotta pay. Subscribe to elf vids.com. Pay $60 for the full six hour video. I would say, I would give that $10.

Just in terms of... Just novelty. Novelty. Novelty is going to... I mean, that's going to be a huge... For me, as an adult video reviewer, for me, that's got to be... If you're, like, reviewing it and you're, like,

taking a critic stance, that's got to be a huge portion of the score. It's like they're innovating. Creativity, originality. Because anybody can make you fucking jizz. Anybody can set a fucking camera up. Anybody can make me fucking jizz 100 feet into the air. Fuck some ho.

Do you think that there's a, do you think that there's a market for like the cameras like outside of the room, right? But it's like three doors down. Voyeur. No, no, no, no. But you can only see the door and you can hear. You just hear the sound. That's good. See, that's good.

Do you have a market for like entirely non-stance? sexual scene, but you know that someone is having sex somewhere in the world? Show me something I haven't seen before. I'm Simon Cowell. Show me some. This is what it's like to. We have buttons. It's like, but because, you know, any fucking, any bloke and Sheila can make me rock hard at my computer desk.

No doubt. It's absolutely unremarkable. This video comes to your desk, right? It's a video of satellite POV of the globe and it's called Guy gets fucked somewhere on Earth. Wow. See, that's what I mean. That's like, because here's the thing.

I am fucking juzing to that. I'm like spraying, but I'm also like, damn, that's great. I really, same vein, same vein guy doing a cum tribute to the earth.

Next time NASA nutting on a picture of the earth. Next time NASA releases some video of everyone on Earth. Of the earth. We should, we should re-upload it on X videos to say millions of people

having sex all at once. World's largest. sex party and it's just a video of third. Good idea. I think it's a great idea. How are they able to put that in movies? Right.

They're showing sex whenever they do that. Whenever they show the high definition. How do they do that in movies nowadays? Put footage of the globe from space. They're always doing that. I know. It's like how expensive is it to put a camera in space? I know. Right.

It's got to be fucking pricey. And the cameras, the quality of the cameras nowadays is so high. You could download the raw file and zoom in. you could probably see someone doing it. Yeah, catch a couple. See them into a house

where someone's inside of it. House of a skylight? Yeah. Did they ever get somebody on Google Street View who's getting, getting busy? Probably.

Yeah, I think almost definitely. There's definitely a guy gilling off. I think they blur them out because I think they blur people in general. But people, I see people find stuff

that they like forgot to blur it. They blurred me. I've seen. Remember that? Apple Maps. Oh, yeah. I do remember that. I do remember that.

That's such a shame. Yeah. That's, I'm gone. They blur everyone. It's gone now. They re-took the pictures. They blur most people. But everyone saw to see somebody like...

Yeah. And then someone will post it and be like, found this and then it'll get blurred. Yeah, that's fucked up. They had... That'd be a fun job, though, to be a Google Maps guy who has to go and blur. It would be cool to drive the car. But you're out in a... It's just driving.

No, but you... You're driving in a crazy different place. Not like, I wouldn't want to do it of, like, of my street. 90% of the time you're in, like, Columbus. That's fine. Maybe you don't have any wonder or curiosity, but I would enjoy that. It's just some streets, bro. That's fine, man.

You don't have to. No one's asking to drive the Google mask car. I don't want this job. Columbus, Ohio is a great place to have no wonder. No, the good people of Columbus. Well, if you need to have no wonder there because there's a lot of defense contractors out there. So you can't wonder what's going on in those buildings. You can wonder all you want.

There's not illegal to wonder. Yet. Yep. Yeah. Just wait until the goop trunians get illegal yet. Yeah. Get created. And they can read them out.

Yeah, they're making restaurants called Wonder so that everyone, when they even Google Wonder, all that shows up is food. They should call it 12 der because it's 12 restaurants in there. Really? You know the number? Or it's a bunch of them around. Have you been in there?

Fuck no. I don't believe it. Would it be a problem if I had? Yes. Why? Because this would end. It's fucking microwave slop crap and shittified food from a fucking baby's ass.

It's a ghost kitchen, man. Dude, do not get me in there because I'm going in dressed up like Luigi. I'm sucking up all the food in my vacuum. I thought you meant Luigi Mangione. I thought we were going to say something about turning it into a ghost kitchen. No. You're going to kill the fucking...

No, Luigi famously is a ghost workers at the... Ghost catcher. Ghost kitchen. I'm catching all the restaurants and I'm making them my own. It's just like when you say like, I'm going to go in there dressed as Luigi. I'm like, sound so aggressive. I just thought you were going to be... How have I never put it together before that his name is Luigi Mangione and he went into a ghost mansion?

His name means Luigi's mansion. That's crazy. Oh, I didn't even realize that. But he is... But who has mansions? Rich people. Yeah. And he turned one into a ghost.

Not every time. Actually. Adam proves everything. There's actually something called a Mick Mansion. Man. A Mick Mansion? You know he's going to go free. Adam?

Luigi. Oh. Probably Adam. Adam Mariners everything I imagine. What's his last name again? Con over. Con over here, Adam. Con over here and ruin this.

Run. Con over here and ruin this. Yeah. You'd be a great guest for the jizum. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Actually, this is unrealistic. That's actually not Jiz.

That's an unaparkable amount of com. That's poop. That's not Jiz. That's poop. That's a penis's poop. Jiz is a penis's poop. You wouldn't say that. I also just had a head injury.

Jiz is a penis's poop. I had a head injury and this movie cost $10 million to make. What movie? Porno. It's a dude. It's a short film, not a movie. Dude, everything that is on cinema is movies.

That is not on cinema. On film. It's not on film either. God, they could have, I'm in this imaginary scenario. They filmed a penis pooping on film and put it in the cinema. That's what you're saying? Yeah, multiple movies. Like what?

Look up right now. Top 10 movies would jizz in them. There's a list for you at home. You think that exists? Top 10 movies. Top 10 movies with jizz. Are you talking real jizz? Just in general. Should I search? So, top ten.

One I can think of right now. One I can think of right now, brown bunny. Happiness, the Green Knight. Those two movies have fake jizz on them. Okay. Well, something about Mary. Something about Mary. Yeah, that's what I was about to say. We're only talking fake jizz because Brown Bunny. Well, that's what I was asking you. Brown Bunny has got...

38 movies with unsimulated sex. Monsters Inc. That's true? No. Sorry, that was just an ad for a different Monsters Inc thing called Movies. it should have been epic trilogies. But I saw, I saw... Wait, why didn't they do a trilogy? Yeah, no. University, but I guess what do you do after that?

Alice in Wonderland. What? Oh, yeah, the... The porn-o version, yeah. The girl from Starship Venus. I don't know that one. Spettors. Spettors.

Paul Verhoven movie. Oh, really? James Joyce's women. Polacks. All about Anna. Starlit. Dogtooth. Female vampire.

It says there's two. Dog tooth at unsimulated sex? I don't remember that. Pink flamingos. Oh, yeah. Okay. There's unsubes. I've never seen it.

Immoral. There's also poop eating in that. Real poop? Yeah. Divine eats a dog turd at the end. Oh, that's not really poop. Did I tell you, speaking of John Waters, did I tell you? Because my mom saw a clip from female trouble on Facebook and was like, oh my God, I need to see this movie.

And then at Christmas made us watch it. And then was like the whole time just like, oh what is this I thought this was going to be like movies that I'd heard of the Brown Bunny I've heard of this movie yeah yeah

I haven't heard of any of these ever other movies female trouble is the one where she's like I want my go go heels right I don't know I haven't she showed me that scene she showed me that scene was like I need to watch this movie because she thought that it was like just going to be a man in drag you didn't stop her no she's got to learn

okay also my dad My dad loves John Waters. Really? Yeah. That is so shocking to me. He literally doesn't tell me anything that he likes. That actually just clicked in so much shit about you. That your dad is like him, but he likes John Waters.

Yeah. He, so I was watching that movie Eating Raul one time. My dad came in and was like, oh, this is a great movie. I was like, what the, like, where, how the fuck do you know about any of this? That's funny. But I guess it was just like midnight movies back in the 70s. Or your dad is completely gay. He could be closeted.

My dad could be closeted. posited. Doing a bad job. Yeah. He's doing a really bad job if he's coming in like, oh, I love the movie Hairspray. Yeah, God, I watched Hairspray with him when I was like six years old or something.

Was hairspray John Waters? Yeah, yeah, yeah, the original one. It was after my brother threw the Millennium Falcon at my head. After my brother threw up. No, my brother threw the Millennium Falcon at my head and then I had to get like staples in the back of my head because the scar was really big.

And then I remember like sleeping in their bedroom that night and then watching my dad was like oh hairsprays on and I watched it with him so he loves John Waters yeah he likes that kind of crap that's cool his favorite TV show is Dr. Stephen Bruill that's another interesting thing

is a yeah did you show that to him yes and then the episodes where it's like the adult babies and stuff he thought that was funny uh huh my dad's weird but he doesn't act weird he should be more weird you want him to act more weird I want my dad to act more weird I said you could tickle him

I tried to tickle him tried it recently. He's too strong. You're very ticklish. I've been realizing recently. No, I'm not. I've been tickling you a bunch and you've just been giving in every time. I haven't. Yeah, you have. What are you talking about? I keep tickling you. You don't. When's the last time you tickled me? Right now. I tried to hold it. I tried to hold it. I tried to hold it. I literally, I tried to hold it. I literally, I tried to hold it so well. There was one time. Actually, I just remember the last time you did. It was at my apartment for my roommate's birthday. And then you did it in front of everybody. And then I was like trying to, I was trying to, I held it in. I held it in because I had to set up the, the computer to my TV. Yeah.

And it wasn't working. And then you did that. And I was already in a bad mood because everything I was trying wasn't working. It was the worst time to get tickled. Made you, made you smile, though. Yeah. Did not make me smile. Tickley.

It lets you loose up. It did not make me smile at all. Tickley. And then I did, I did that. I like held it in and basically it was like, and then your wife said something about like, like, look, he's not even ticklish. And you were like, Yes.

But it was a lot. I'm going to tell you next time that you're with me and we're in front of a bunch of people, I'm going to tickle you in front of everybody. Do not do that. I'm going to. And it's going to be so embarrassing. It's not embarrassing for me.

It's embarrassing for you. What? I'm control over your body. You're the one tickling another man in public. That's another thing. You are creating a victim. No, it's not a victim. Yes.

It's a tickling victim. No, no. It's just joy. It's not joyous. Spreading joy. It's merriment. It's literally the, it's the worst feeling in the world.

What? Being tickled? Being tickled? What are you talking about? Being tickled is the worst. Literally the worst feeling in the world. I would prefer surgery to tickling. Yeah, penis and large of my surgery.

All right, that's up on that. That's bad ass. My shit too small. That's badass. I like that admitting. Shit looked like a cashew down there. Dude, tickling is fine.

No. It's literally a CIA style of torture. They do. do this to Gitmo patients. Don't tickle patience. Inmates. Not patience. So there's patients down there probably.

Probably people get sick. You get you, when you're on your like insurance website, you're looking for new coverage. It's like this one's like a couple hundred miles away. But damn, it's that's $30 copay. That's the only place in there. It's kept to get on a plane. Oh, hey, come on. Probably is cheap as fuck to get.

Yeah. To get treated at Gitmo. To get procedure. I think they actually closed it. I don't know. Yeah. They closed it. No, they actually opened it.

They opened it. It was actually closed before that. Yeah. And they're working on, that's what they use opposite technology. Guantanamo. Be. Dude, spell that shit backwards. It probably says something conspiratorial.

Or on Guantanamo. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. At.

Nwag. Oh, man, a twang. A dwagon. Oh, man. A dwagon. Wait. They're hiding a dragon in Guantanamo Bay. Literally, I just, we just fucking cracked it open.

Don't expect us to see us. Don't expect to see us in three weeks because they're coming for us. They're going to kill us. Oh, man. A dwagon. Well, that's, oh my God. A dragon. No Guantanamo.

Wait. Backward. Because dwag. Dwagon. On. You have to add on backwards now. No Guantanamo's, oh man, a twagon. A twagon.

Twagon. And then Yab is somewhere. Oh, man. It's actually a Taugan. Yeah, Yab is the dragon's name. Yab. Oh, man.

To Nauguan. Yab. Yeah. To Noguan. Oh, man. Oh, man. Man, why's backwards in it is so hard. This word in particular is really hard.

Guantanamo. Amantz. Oh, man. Is namo. Mm-hmm. Guantan. Nog. Oh.

Juan Nat Naug. Naug. Nowg. So say it all together? Oh man. Nat. Or Nattaug. Nattaug.

Nottau. Natau. Natau. Natau. Oh man. Not now. Oh man. Not now.

Oh man. No. No. No. I don't want that. Guantanamo Bay. Yeah. And then when they get tortured.

Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. Not now. When they get tortured, they're going. Yep.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, maybe Fred Flintstone. Oh man, I want this water guy to come. You guys are wondering why we're speaking so much backwards stuff, but I guess you understand the reason why already because we are next week talking about the world's most famous backwards. Oh, yeah.

And everyone who fucking complain. Clean your damn ears out. We said. You broke ass motherfucker. You broke ass fuckers. Well, that doesn't make sense because we didn't have a premium. just solved it on the page or invented it on the Patreon. But they wouldn't even know about it if they weren't on the Patreon.

That's a good point. The next episode that comes out after this one. The next one is we will begin. Oh, here. I'm going to say this too. I'll make a little graphic for this later and we can put it on all the videos. But also, if you would like to follow along and watch along, swag poop.com slash Benjamin.

I've created a watching guide with time codes scheduled out. You can know what segment of the movie you have to watch for each episode if you would like to watch a lot. But that said, we'll be recapping and talking about it. And guys, this is the hardest we've ever gone. That's what we're trying to do here. Oh, yeah. And I'm 60 minutes in already. I already watched the first curio for musical reasons.

Guys, I'm going to have a lot to say about this movie. I'm excited. I feel like we're going to, I feel like we're really going to delve into. I was reading this thing. This looks crazy. There was a book that came out recently. that was a guy wrote a book that's a 700-page book that it's like a criticism and analysis of only the brood by David Cron and Rick.

Whoa. And I really want to read it. It seems insane. It's inspiring. 700 pages on one movie. And I think we can outdo that. Yeah. I think we can...

Over 10, probably close to 11 or 12 hours of analysis on Benjamin Button. And the brood is interesting because the brood is like, oh, I hate my wife so much. Do her bet. I hate my ex-wife. Yeah. I think it goes deeper than that because I think it's 700 pages. Yeah, 700 pages.

I mean, my surface level understanding is that movie was made because he just got a divorce and he was mad as fuck and that's why the villain of that movie is an evil ex-wife. I want to read this book so that I can learn about it.

Oh, yeah. I've already, I was complaining to you guys about the first this whole movie before. I'm trying to jump ahead. I am so excited. I know.

I'll just say that. What? I must go. I have to go. Okay. We'll end. it. Bye. Bye.

You know, like, the people who get off on, like, people being human furniture? You think I'd be good at being objects. You'd be such a good, like, Ottoman. A beanbag chair. Beanbag chair. That's rude. Yeah. That's rude.

Ottoman. I like Ottoman. Ottoman is a distinguished piece of furniture. You plank it. You have to plank on the ground, all fours. And then, you know, the lady with big leather boots puts them on you. Big leather boots. Leather boots.

Oh. Big letter boots that got A and B. That would hurt my fucking ass. A and B on them. Well, that's the point. Then, you know, they take a video of it, send it to some guy who works in IT. And I had no way. Yes, great ottoman.

Great. Perfect Ottoman. I came so much to this Ottoman. Keep doing the, keep picking that guy. Do I? Keep picking that guy. Okay, what's my day to day? Because if this woman is a queen.

I mean, there's also at the end of the end of the, yeah. You have to go through a lot of training. Is it? Am I like Toy Story where I'm just living my normal life? I believe. I believe you have like, scramble. I believe we have the potential to be a great piece of furniture in you, but I don't think you can get on the floor and be a great piece of furniture right now.

I think you need to, like, draw it out of yourself. Oh, you don't think I would make a great piece of furniture right now. No, I really don't. Okay. We'll go to the other camera. Me? I'm holding the camera. Yeah.

I have to go. All right. Fine. Dude, don't worry about the cameras. Let me see if I can get this hole. Is he good at it? me too one second I don't think there's room for me as well

I think that wherever I'm gonna have to sit you're not gonna like it here watch your I'll move back I guess yeah I don't know about this this is a this is like that thing where it's like

where there's the nude man and woman in the doorway and it's like which way do you face yeah because I'm either about to I'm either literally about to rest my balls on the back of his head or completely do sideways yeah okay

I'll go like this. Oh, okay. Like he's a sectional couch. Here, like this. Okay. And maybe you're, this is like a normal way to sit on a piece of furniture. Yeah,

I think you kind of nailed how to sit on him. I mean, I definitely didn't. I pick the worst way. You are, I am eating my words right now. Yeah, he's actually an amazing piece of human furniture. You are a pretty good piece of human furniture.