Podcast About List - UNLOCKED Premium #355 - Fern Troyer Got Eaten By a Shark

Episode Date: September 30, 2026

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I told you, you don't understand. You don't understand perspective. This is how they hobbited them. You and me, and then now look at how small you look. That is really funny. Look at the screen. Wow. You look little, man.

That's crazy. I'm trying to shrink. Trying to shrink even more. That's actually insane. That actually is fully hobbited. Yeah. You go back forward. I don't want to.

We're doing the Hobbit episode. He's still looks small even when he's, when he's not forward. It's hard for me to sit over there and look at the funny Hobbit kind of thing. How do I look now? Whoa. Yeah. You look normal.

I do look normal now. Yeah, see? I just got to bring my chair. How the hell did they do that? I don't know. Well, Farrell is a big bloke, though. Yeah, Bob Newhart is pretty small. He's passed away.

Did I ever release my fancast publicly on the podcast? Of Elf? Papa Elf, young Papa Elf. Like a movie about... Steve Gerben. Oh. Oh, dude. Oh, come on.

Young Papa. Young Papa is such a good idea for a fucking movie, dude. Steve Gerben from tires. Yeah. Well, I don't know him from tires. I'm just, I know him from around town. I'm from headshots and pictures. Pictures and headshots, yeah.

Which is where I got the idea. Oh, you should be Papa Ellis. You'd be an amazing Papa L. He would. I want to cast him. Do we have his number? No. What the fuck is kind of a question is that, dude?

An innocent question? It's not an innocent question. You could have had his number. Why would I have his number? I don't know. Steve Gerbin? He's like five degrees removed from me. No, he's not five degrees removed from you.

I would like to see him as... He's two degrees removed from you. Not even. He's one degree removed from you. I don't know the guy. I'm sorry. Can you call your boss right now and say, can we get Steve Gerbin's number? No.

No, it's too close to Labor Day. Oh, okay. I'm not going to talk to him. Is it Labor Day on Monday? Yeah. Dude, you got to check your calendar more often. I don't check your calendar every day. I literally was going to put out on Instagram like, hey, who was I.

Who am I supposed to? Slot-E-slot? Don't you. Don't you do that. I'm going to say, if you have plans with me, please remind me. I was going to put that out there. If you, if I need to do something with you. I started keeping a personal calendar.

I did last month and then I scheduled all this shit last month for this month and I forgot it. spent many years of my life. That's what the calendar's for my friend. I know, but I wrote everything down in August and I was like, I'll write this in like a couple days. And then I forgot. That's crazy. I spent many years of my life, not knowing what I was doing. It's unmedicated at a old. They shouldn't. Can't imagine. I would literally kill myself. Really? It was my life. Yeah. It's pretty nice. Not in a million years. It's not nice. It's doing that. It's not nice for others. You don't have to go get lunch with this guy. You don't have to think about it until you find out 10 minutes before and you go, oh, okay. I'll be. do that now. Yeah. That's good. That's what I'd do with my calendar, but I forgot to fucking write everything down this month. I've been looking up dates in my messages and my Instagram DMs. I've been looking up just days. And it's just like, you've been searching every date individually to see if there's anything there. Yeah. Really? This is like, oh, I know I'm doing something on 9-10. And then it was like, fuck, what else am I

doing on every other day? Joe responded to the bananas. Joe left two intact bananas here. He said, eat them. Bro, you are literally such a Oscar the Grouch type person. Me? No, him. This is a message to Joe. Leaving rotting fruit around the office.

Trash is trash. Leaving trash, unplugging everything. I think he'd be able to afford, I mean, he was on Sesame Street. Joe? No. He'd be good on there. Please, no, don't ever say that damn.

Yeah, don't. He's not allowed to hear that. No. But he would be good on Sesame Street. No, it wouldn't. He would. He would. like, what's his name? I could see him being real. I've never seen him interact with a kid.

I feel like he'd be bad with kids. You think so? Yeah, I feel like he'd say cuss words in front of kids and stuff. You've seen him interact with kids. What kid? Joe Box Jr. Yeah. Yeah, he was bad on that. Yeah. He doesn't know how to hang out with kids. No, he makes the kids really uncomfortable. Yeah. Kids don't like Joe. They're like, he's too big. Yeah. No, well, that's part of it, but there's a lot of personal personality part to say to kids. Yeah. You can't talk to kids like he seems to freely speak to them. I'm not good with kids. I know that. You are good with kids.

I'm not. Yeah, because kids like having like a, like a guy that's not a real guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You're like a toy for a kid. I guess. Okay. I guess I'm just a toy.

No. Because I'm not a normal human being. I guess I'm just a fucking toy. You're normal. You have thoughts. You know what I heard? You know what I heard? heard this on a

on a video of Burke Kreiser saying this but he's like, I'm just a fucking broken toy man Whoa That is true about him Hearing him on like a too lazy to try Tom Seguera and Christina Pajitsky are getting divorced Yeah they got divorced

We haven't spoken about it She I learned I learned that she's I'm on her side because she's goth I learned Oh I'm way on her side Yeah Are you kidding me?

Yeah I was already on her side But then learning that she used to She dresses up like Susie and the Banshees on the show. I'm like, okay, you're really about it. He became really skinny and sort of gaunt. Yeah. Which she likes, because she likes all the got stuff.

He looks like a skeleton. Yeah, she likes gothness. He will never look like a skeleton. He will never make it to look. Skeleton with extra. Skeleton stuck in a giant balloon. His muscles, his muscles and his body meat is going to erode, but his skin will stay. Yeah. He's not reaching

skeleton status. I'm sorry to say. His skin and his coffin over his skeleton will look like like a cloth draped over a microphone stand. Yeah. He had a lot of skin. He'll look more like a ghost. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. He has sheet ghost of human skin.

That is what he will look like. Is there a surgery to get that extra skin removed when you lose weight like that? Yeah, there must be. I feel like you don't see that. Fat bastard did not get it. No, fat bastard really sure. How are they going to address that in Austin Powers 4? Are they making Austin Powers for?

OZempic? There's going to be an OZMPIC. There's going to be an ozepic plot line. He lost the weight on the subway diet at the end of Goldmember. Okay. Well, I haven't seen Goldmember. Actually, I have seen Gold Member. Have I? I haven't seen Gold Member.

Yes. We all saw, we all watched it at Neal's Lakehouse. And what were we doing while we watched it? We were on drugs. Yeah. So I don't really count that. Definitely couldn't tell you anything. I watched it.

I wasn't on my phone. I didn't look at my phone the whole time. No, I was not a lot of phone on AP. We were DMing brands. No, that was at night. Oh, okay. I was locked in on AP. Yeah, that was a pretty scary movie at the time.

Yeah. Yeah, we were on drugs. Yeah. Stuff can get really, really scary on TV. It was actually euphoric for me. I was watching it. I was like, these movies are so good.

Fat Baster's going to lose the weight at the end of the movie. It's actually quite happy, considering what he said at the end of AP too. Dude, you guys need to please God tonight go home and watch the new season of Reacher. Yeah. Just the new one? Well, have you not been saying the other?

me about it. Dude, I've been texting sizzle about it as well. It's the best one yet. Yeah, I got to watch it. He was texting me about it

and he said that there needs to be a Reacher show with me. He texted me that same idea. Yeah. Which is kind of just Decker, but I had this. Yeah. It would be like a higher quality decker.

Yeah. But it is, it would be funny to see you like in a one for one remake of Reacher. Yeah. Yeah, where that would be pretty funny. Yeah, where you're just doing this.

Because there's so many scenes where it would be you walking. in and then people looking like up past your head be like, whoa, you're huge. And that would be pretty funny. Because that's the whole conceit of the show that this is the biggest guy ever. Yeah. But they lose that pretty fast because he's, the guy's only like six to. So they have to do, they have to do shit where it's like, okay, he's talking to this other

dude. Who's that? Thad Castle was his name on Blue Mountain State. Oh, Alan Richardson. Yeah. Who by the way, recently he came. recently came out against Donald Trump. I saw, did you see this interview with him where he was like, he's a long interview and he's like,

I'm just, I don't understand how people see what's going on in the world and aren't just speaking out. Like, speak truth to power man. People think I'm crazy. And it's like this long thing where he's talking about how he needs to speak his truth. And I was like, damn, wow. And then he's like, it turns out the whole time he was just talking about the Epstein files. Yeah. Yeah. He kind of has no politics. Yeah. In a way, I think he's a, he's a, he's like pretty lib. From what I've seen, from what I've seen, 90% of him talking about stuff, and I mean, like, we're going to get so real is in this like John Bernthal sort of way where you're not actually speaking about anything, you're talking about how nobody wants you to talk about stuff.

Right. Yeah. These, all these people, all these agents are going to be so pissed at what I'm saying right now. But then he doesn't say anything. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he was like, he was like black square posted in 20, 20.

Oh, dude. Yeah. Alan Richardson. He's awesome. He's the man. He's cool. I do like him. He's the fucking him.

Especially when he's playing a freaking, like, the only thing I knew him as on TV was a, let's face it, a date rapist. I never saw Blue Mountain State. My brothers loved this show. I saw the, I saw the shit on Netflix all the time and it never compelled me to play. Never compelled me. I'm Stockholm syndromed by it, though, because it was on in my house all the time. Is it a good television show? It's pretty funny.

Okay. It's a comedy. Why unfortunately? Because it was a Spike TV. Football is awesome. Football is awesome. Football is awesome. Let's trick these girls

into taking their tops off type show. Okay. Did they do it? Yeah, they do it. Oh, the mission accomplished really sad. It's not okay to trick. Yeah.

What's the trick? The trick is like, you know, like, oh, you lost a beer pong. You have to take your shirt off now. So that's more of a law. That's a trick. Yeah.

That's a trick. A trick when we were like shirts have all become poisoned. Shirts are illegal. Starting now. That would be a trick. If it wasn't true. The thing is that could. That actually sounds more like creating a law.

You said, you're right. Yeah. You're right. Well, isn't all the laws? Well, it's lying about it. It's tricking about a law. Is it most laws trickery?

Which one specifically? Financial stuff. Okay. Nowadays, man. Let's get into that. Financial stuff. Which laws are tricks? Which laws are tricks?

Taxes. I don't know anything about this situation. but apparently this woman that killed her kids is going to be set free. Was she going to be set to an asylum? Arkham? I think they're sending her to Arkham Asylum. It's going to be a scarecrow and kill her crock and then the lady who killed her kids. And she's going to be, I mean...

They're sending her to Arkham. They're putting her in there because she and she has unfinished business with the Riddler. Do you think there's any guys in Arkham who are just like on like super? suicidal guys. Yeah. There are. Just got, really? Yeah, there's like the back section where they have like all the crazys. There's like normal.

Yeah. Because they need to have fodder. Yeah. Well, they need their bones. All the villains can, can, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. When Batman breaks in, who are these guys he beating up?

Yeah, exactly. A bunch of suicidal guys. Yeah. And do depressed people. Fucking hit me, Batman. Yeah, but they are all jacked. People were oppositional defiance disorder. Yeah.

That got thrown in the asylum. Yeah. That's the type of people. Yeah. This is, they, they, they, they, They take mental health very seriously. Yes. They say if you need to be reformed.

Yeah. I mean, look at, you don't want to wear your seatbelt. Look at who's in the damn city. Of course they're taking mental health serious. Dude, they got to kill a damn city. Killer crocodile,

a guy who thinks he's the mad hatter. My guy who thinks he's the moth. My mental health. A moth. A killer moth. If I knew there was a killer crock. If I knew that there was a killer crock in the city. Yeah.

That would come up in. As mayor. As mayor, I'm fucking depressed. Yeah, I'm depressed. Why is that? Well, there's a fucking... He's going to pop out of my fucking toilet.

If I'm the mayor, there's a huge... If I'm the mayor of Gotham, huge mental health awareness campaign. Like, hey, guys. I know stuff's bad. Everything here sucks. I'm also bought by the mob. By the way.

Moved to Pittsburgh. There's no reason to live in Gotham city. No. It is funny that Gotham has... Yeah, Gotham has, like, villains like the Joker and Killer Crock and then also the mob. Yeah. Like, they're like,

They're like, we got a, we got to band together. Yeah. We got to, hey, guys, we really got a figure of a show out. Yeah. It is funny that they do. And especially, and like, the Joker is putting like numbers on the board. You know what I mean? These other criminals are outdoing the mob by a factor of 100.

And the mob is like, well, some of them are the, like, the penguin is like mostly a mobster. He's a penguin. Yeah. He's part penguin, but he's a monster. Penguin. Did you guys see that television show? Which one? The penguin show.

The penguin show. No, I didn't see it. It was filmed around here. It was with Colin Farrell. Yeah. Colin Farrell is so fucking cool, dude. He is pretty cool. He is cool, man.

Yeah. Him is bullseye and Daredevil. That's like an amazing performance. I don't remember that. Oh, my God, dude. He doesn't remember it either. Brother, he was an intense alcoholic during the filming of that movie. Really?

Yep. You're kidding. Yep. And he still bodies it. That Irish guy? Yeah. Yeah. There's an Irish alcoholic in a movie.

Can you believe it? Yeah. Learn something new every day. Uh-huh. Yep. It's fucked up what. this country is doing to the Irish. Yeah, this country is the problem.

This country is making all these Irish guys drink. Why do Irish people? This is the performance you're referring to? Yeah, dude, he's so good in this. Why is he holding his, why is he doing a great job? Why is he holding his penis circle? He has a fushig.

Yeah, that is his bullseye. Oh, why is it right about, why is it on his pews? His bullseye is a glass ball. I would say his bullseye is the one on his forehead. Yeah, that's what I would refer to as his bullsyes. He's got two bullsies there, man. I don't think a ball is a bullsie.

How did he gets it? Oh, it's not a ball. it's a belt buckle. Yeah. I mean, how do you have to be drunk, I would say, to do something like this. Yeah. So that doesn't surprise. Is this around the time that his sexual tape leaked?

He has sex tape? I didn't know about this. With who? You've been deep into Mr. Farrell. A lot of women in my life have talked about his sexual tape. Is he awesome in it? He's apparently incredibly awesome in it. Really?

Yeah. How so? What does he do? No, but tell me more details. I want to know this kind of thing. He's grunting and looking at the camera and such. He looks sexy. He looks good.

Has his cock. I don't, I haven't seen it. I've seen the screenshot. What did the girls talk about his cock? Girls talk about how incredibly sexual he is in this. In his sex day. In his sex tape. And he's all fucking drunk.

Recording himself fucking. He's drunk and he's still putting on the sexual performance of a lifetime. Really? Yeah. I think I'm going to watch this today. I think I'll be watching this with the AC repairman walking to my apartment. I'll be watching the Colin Farrell sex tape. I said, girls love this crap.

I'm fucking. yeah real good. Is that what he, yeah. Has sex with an Irish guy. Irish. Oh, no. I fuck on your ass. He fucks her ass.

Oh, I haven't seen it, man. Why have you not watched it? I don't know. Let's pull it up. Idea that you've said, there's a sex tape you haven't watched. Although nobody's seen the Rob Lowe one, right?

No, because you're not allowed to watch that old. I mean, maybe, yeah, but she, she like. Rob Lowe in the 90s had sex with like a 16-year-old on camera. She was in a bar with a fake ID. Okay. And he met her there. And then she filmed it to blackmail him, I guess. But maybe that's just the story Rob Lowe says.

Uh-huh. But then... Because it could be Rob Lowe being a crazy creep. And then he did parks and recreation. Which he's not creepy at all in. No, he's basically a good guy. He's one guy that I could never imagine having sex with a 16-year-old. So that news really shocks me.

It is shocking. I mean, he really doesn't come across that way at all. No, it makes no sense. Apparently, before our time, he was a real bad boy of Hollywood. Not a longer. teenage actor, that's why. Really? What was he in? The outsiders? I never seen that. Oh, St. Elmo's Fire?

Never seen it. Oh, these are Brat. These are Brat. These are Brat Pack movies. This is John Hughes movies. I don't know what about John Hughes. Yeah, growing up, he was... That's really just like your parents love this. I just, uh, get away from there's Bueller, though. Fier's Bueller, pretty awesome. Plainsveeons, and automobiles. Yeah, that's awesome. I like John Hughes.

Home alone. John Hose. Yeah. Let me change your mind real quick. All the ones I haven't seen. I haven't seen. I don't care. I'm not a big fan of those ones. 16 candles. No, I don't care.

That one's pretty mid. Yeah. But breakfast club is higher tier mid. Breakfast club could go either way. Yeah. It's so confusing because the guy who looks like he's, he should be Estevez is not Estevez. Yeah. That's always fucked me up when I was a kid.

I was like, this makes no sense. Yeah, that guy, the guy with the golf guy should be Estevez. That little white guy should not be Estevez. Yeah. It's so, it's so funny watching like, on cinema now when realizing how much Emilio Estevez looks like Joe Estevez. Like, because they are, like, they're related.

But like the mannerisms and everything, like, watching like Repo Man and like having seen more of Joe Estevez than Emilio in my life. Uh-huh. And just looking at him being like, oh, yeah, that's, I can see it. Yeah, they're related. They're related. That's not so surprising to me.

That whole family looks exactly alike. They all look alike, except for Charlie. But sheen. But Martin Sheen looks exactly like Emilio Estevez specifically in Breakfast Club, which is the only thing I think I remember him. I'm just saying watching those movies and picturing Joe Estevez in them.

Like Repo Man, him being like... Him being old. Him being a punk. And just Joe Estabez being doing that. I like those that can fly. They are so delicious. I'm excited for the eventual... The eventual Sheen's death.

Charlie Sheen. Sheenisans. Like podcast or Sheenaissance. What do you tell you? They've already been doing that. Really? There's a million podcast appearances of him now just being like, yeah, it was a real fucked up guy.

I'm sorry. But when is he going to get back into acting? Wait, didn't he have sex with, didn't he fuck rape? He gave people AIDS. Yeah, he gave Denise Richards HIV. And when she was crying, he said, oh, lighten up. You know, it's usually good advice. It's hugely.

But that particular moment, maybe. maybe inappropriate. Yeah. But he was on, I heard on a podcast appearance, he was doing so much coke that the cartel contacted him. Because he was buying.

Hey, man, you good? They were like, hey, are you selling this? He was doing that much coke? Yeah. How does he live?

He was buying like, hey, just wanted to check in, make sure you weren't selling this. Yeah. Just want to make sure you're using it the way we,

the way we didn't do this. Hey, excuse me. Please just do it. We sell that actually, so we can't have you. Hey, just so you know,

Gentle reminder. Hey, real quick. Email. Yeah. Do not sell this without sharing some of the money with us. Yeah. If you are selling it, no worries, but we'd prefer if you didn't. But we will be chopping off.

We will have to chop off a body part for you. You can choose which one. We should join the Mexican cartel. Yeah. I tried, dude, but they didn't want me. Yeah. Well, you put out a... You put out a hit on them.

He put them on notice, I think, when he went to Mexico. Yeah. And they kind of hit from me. You haven't seen any repercussions from that. No. No. They're in the home. Because you do realize that's a, that's a very vengeful. The cartel. Yeah.

What? Honor, culture, vengeful sort of thing. You're telling me the drug dealers are honorable. They, no, they love revenge. Aversion of honor. Really? Yeah. Sometimes I think drug dealers get into it for the revenge. Yeah, it's like, kind of waiting around for somebody to fuck you over so you can revenge. Right.

I feel like they really love the revenge part. You got to be a revenge guy in a major way to be in the drugs. Well, I had no idea. And I had no idea. And I will start watching my back because honestly, I've been slipping. Yeah. What if they have like a 30-year plan to ruin your life? Yeah. What if they're ruining you financially and you don't realize?

They don't want to hurt you. They want to ruin your life. Yeah. We're going to ruin your life. What if there's like a subscription service you're paying for that you don't realize? And they're like, yeah, we're shaving. By the time he's 81, we have shaved up $3,000. I've subscribed to some kind of website that I didn't realize was the cartel and they're

ramping up the price. Yeah. Square space. Yeah. Yeah. Square space. Yeah. I have a square space bill.

I have a square space bill that my wife found that has been billing me. I have no idea what it's to. I don't have a website. I have no fucking idea. I've logged into everything. I have no idea why. It's probably our website. Yeah,

it's probably our website. I think it's on the company car, but maybe it got... Maybe it's getting sent to your house. Well, no, it's in my bank account. It's coming out of my debit card. Oh. So I just don't know what it is.

Wow. But it's like 20 bucks, which is right on that line. It's 20 bucks? Yeah, then it's not our website. No. I don't know. I have some expensive website I'm paying for. You have a website.

I don't have a website. You have a website. That's also not that expensive for a website. 20 bucks? Yeah, a month. Wow. SpareSpace is great. A website.

$20 a month for a website? I think of that is. I think that's baseline for a website. I don't know. I've not had a website in my life. You do have a website, my friend. But I don't know what the website is, is what I'm saying. Look up Calebpitz.com right now. Let's see.

You have a website. website. I don't, though. Why are you trying to trick me? But you're telling me that you're subscribed to Squarespace. I know that's the fucking issue is I don't have a website. Can you call them? No, no, no, no. The issue is you don't know that you have a website. You do have a website. Oh, I do have a website. Caleb Pitts, software, data, and crypto. About me. Passion about building things. You know, people solve problems. That does look like you wearing a toupee. Oh, I worked at Western Digital from July 2020 until current. Pacific Life,

Pacific Life, working memory and plasticity laboratory in the Institute for Genomics and bioinformatics. Oh my God. Genomics. I sound cool.

You have a good website. Whoa, wait. I have a beer and wine sales forecast using Facebook's profit library. What the fuck is this,

man? This is me? No way. Do you see Irvine and audacity? And got a data analyst nano degree? I'm also a user experience designer.

Whoa. Whoa. Wait, wait, you and me both have guys that are professional versions of us. Yeah. First name, last name.com. Wait, is he in California too? No, he's in North Carolina. Wait, that's where I'm from.

Yeah. Dude, he is, this Patrick Doran is proficient in power apps. Oh, that's huge. Yeah. Guys, my connection is not private and I may be trying to steal my data. I say you trust here. I think you go. this is for Cameron Fedder.com

doesn't exist. Whoa, this Patrick Doran has his blue sky linked. You don't have a, you don't have a I guess not. A professional doppelganger. Safari can't open the page because the server can't be found.

Wow. This guy's praying that I never pop off. This is Patrick Doran and Raleigh. Dude, I've been there. Yeah, me too. Haven't we been there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We went to Raleigh. Wow. We went to Raleigh. We were all Raleigh.

It's so fucked up that guys can just be walking around with your name. Yeah. There's an actor who was in Spider-Man. Name Patrick Doran? Yeah. I think he followed me on Instagram recently. Dude, that's nice.

Yeah. But you definitely have the... Two or three of us. There's the most Patrick Doran's walking around. I think there's a lot more Caleb Pitts around. No, there's a trillion Patrick Doran. No, no, no, no, no. Patrick Doran is like, is like...

You literally have another one in your family. No, Driscoll. Oh, okay. Dox. Yeah. Docs your cousin. Doc's my cousin. No, but there's definitely more Caleb Pitts around.

If both names are characteristic of a certain ethnicity, then there's a million of them. But Patrick and Doran are both the most Irish names of all time. I mean, I guess. I'm sure there's a lot more. There's definitely more Patrick Dorisks. How many of me? Okay, all right. We're going to go Caleb first.

Okay. Caleb Pitts. There are, according to this website, 47 people named Caleb Pitts in the U.S. Okay. Well, I'm saying... So now let's go Patrick Dorn. You really think there's less than that. It's got to be like 500. There's no way that there's...

There's no way that there's less. How many do you think? I'm going to say it's close. I'm going to say it's like at least 40. I think there's probably seven more... I'm going to say over a thousand people. I'll say 300. No.

There's 29. Wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Here's, I guess, you know what the thing, you know what, I bet I think it is. I think Patrick Dorans are more, uh, uh, kind of, they, they, they seek the public, not seek that, they end up in the public light.

There's 70 Cameron Fetters. What? You have the most common name. That's crazy. That can't be true. According to how many of these. This might be a random generator, generator website. That's very strange.

That is strange. I don't know. You're at, you're common. I don't know about that. You're every day. According to how many of me, he's this most special one of all three of us. It's ridiculous. See, I'm not even the top results.

The other guy. That's what I'm saying. If you search Patrick Doran, there's so many guys. Yeah. I mean, known for Spider-Man far from home and Hobbs and Shaw. Okay, in the world, though, you have to be number one. Yeah, that's true.

No, no. Well, if you include Ireland, yeah. That's in the world. Yeah. You got to be. Yeah, you're right. There's probably a lot more. There's not a lot of...

Caleb Pitts is a very American name. I don't really know. I would say. I don't know much about my life. I say Caleb Pitts is absolutely a North American name. You got a real. A lot of Irish. A lot of Irish guys with my name.

Is that actor Irish? I think it's maybe. I think's maybe. It would be crazy to have that name and not be Irish. Yeah. Chinese. I need to agree. A Chinese Patrick Doran.

I hope there is one out there. There must be one out there. It must be. If you're a Chinese fan and you're expecting a child, you do the right thing. Or also, if you do the thing where you move to America and you get a new name. Oh, yeah. and send Patrick Doran. Yeah.

Please become Chinese Patrick Doran. That would be so fucking big for the PDs. Yeah. The PDs. Big day for the PDs. I also bet that there's, that if you go back historically, there's a mill,

like in America, there's probably way more Patrick Doran's than there are of us. Caleb Pitts is a name that I feel like had a boom in the 90s. That's when I was born. I bet there was like five trillion Patrick Dorans here in like the 1800s.

Oh yeah. And they were all killed by typhoid. Yeah. Typhoid and Tiki. Probably a lot of Oregon Trail. I think I've said this before, but every time I read a book about history, I feel like there's always at least one guy

whose name is like one letter off from Patrick Doran. Yes. Yeah. Dolans. It was Patrick Dolan who died in a... He was the part of the Donner Party. Oh, really? Yeah.

Yeah. And there's always somebody... By the way, I saw... Alfred Packers, the Donor party, right? I saw you the other day. Where? I went by you on the bus. Oh.

where was that going? I don't know. You were walking towards, you were walking from Fresh Pond. Oh, then I was going to the gym.

You were wearing green and you were eating chips. Yeah, I was leaving the gym then. Mm-hmm. It's a few days ago and I forgot to mention it. Yeah,

there's probably a lot of people who are maybe listeners of the show who have seen me walking around eating chips. You weren't walking to the gym. I'm not a listener, but I was walking from the gym.

You were walking from a strip club into a live poultry place. I've seen you do it. That's your daily routine. I've seen him do the other direction. Yeah, that was even worried. Chicken by fries. I'm going to bring something. I'm going to bring a potential wife, a dowry.

It's more unique than just throwing coins or whatever those people do. Going to the club and throwing a chicken onto the stage. And some good yams and carrots. A mountiful army. You don't want to. That's how you stand out if you're in a strip club. Because strippers get tired of money. Yeah.

You're like, oh, great. More money. More money to pay my bills. Hold on now. Yeah. Someone has thrown a live frog at me. Oh, goldfish in a bag. I have a pet.

Oh, interesting. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Can I have sex with you? Yes, you may. Now. That you are stood out.

Yeah. I value uniqueness. I value uniqueness. Your solid gold shirt and your solid gold pants. It's very impressive that you walked in and that. Going into the strip club in solid gold pants, solid gold shirt, and throwing a live chicken on stage. no way you're not leaving with at least a kiss.

You're getting a kiss. How much does a kiss cost at a strip club? How much for a kiss? Oh, please, ma'am. Excuse me. I've thrown like $50 up on the stage. Can I please have a kiss, ma'am? How much for a kiss and does the money I threw go towards it?

Do I have to get a new $50 to get a kiss? I say I have to go to the ATM again, get more money. Dude, a kiss has got to be. if you hire like a really expensive prostitute for one kiss yeah I think it would probably I don't know how much do they charge blows me that's good

I don't know yeah how much would you charge if you were a prostitute if I was a prostitute in my current life yeah so right now like as you are are you guaranteed to get business with the price yeah a trillion dollars Well, no, no. Yeah.

In this hypothetical. What do you think would be a fair going rate for you as a body? I don't know. Because I'm thinking about like my current life. And you have the girlfriend experience. And then around the world. And then around the world. You know a lot about prostitutes.

Yeah. Hmm. What does it mean to go around the world? Yeah, what does it mean to go around the world? That's basically what they said in the movie I watched the other day. That's like go to house tour. Go to Dubai. You guys at every hole.

Oh, it's in your body. Oh, your body's the world. No, the house tour is around this. I thought it was like, you take me, I'm the girl. You take me around. Oh, okay. We're going to go on a trip. We're going to go around.

Well, yeah. I do you get paid to vacation as a prostitute? I would probably say $1,000. $1,000 for which? For one single kiss. Thousand bucks for a kiss? Yeah. Fuck that.

I know. You wouldn't do like, I would do like $20 kisses. I think you're a slut. I think that's fair. A kiss is not... Like a smooch, not like a... You're still... $20 for just one kiss. You're a slut.

You're doing... That is good money. You realize how many of those you could line up in a day? You would do it for free at that place. If you did like a... What's your day? Like the lady that had sex with a trillion guys. If you did that but have sex with or have kisses

with a bunch of dudes, you would make so much money. Yeah. A thousand people, 20 grand in a day. I think $20 for a kiss is expensive. Yeah, that's expensive. That's a good rate. $1,000 for me because I'm giving out premium kisses. I'm going to go to a strip club. Could I pay $30 for a girl to give me a hug? Also, I was wondering if I could pay for stuff like headpats or for me to lay my head on her lap and ask her to pet my head.

Dude, just go to massage envy and get a legitimate massage. That's a massage envy rep. How much should I have to pay a stripper for a kiss? It's a really good question. Oh, someone responds and says, well, if it's me, nothing. Wow. That's sweet. sweet stripper. Yeah.

Oh, you're a sweet stripper. Yeah. Thank you. Luscious Diana King. There was another one. What celebrity do you think is great at sucking death?

Jennifer. Jennifer. Yeah. What the fuck is this? Guys, you can't be talking about what they're like. Six days ago, this is the type of thing I would,

you would hope to click on and be like, oh, this is like 2014. Yeah. This is old as fuck. No, six days ago people are saying. People are still acting like this. You would think, too.

Misogy is still alive and well. It's still around. I thought I ended it days ago. You would think too, because the top two were, Jennifer Lawrence and Kat Dennings. Yeah, that's good. That you would think that is... That should be from 2014.

People are logging on to scroll through questions and go, oh, that's a good question. Let me go ahead and answer that one. How would she suck? People are coming in and uploading. Yeah, totally. Fair question. You hit the nail right on the head with that one, my friend.

Definitely Jennifer Lawrence, dude. That is one of the... Definitely Jennifer Lawrence would be so good. Ever since, ever since Elon Musk has taken over Twitter, I've seen some bad stuff on Twitter, that's got to be one of the things that just made me the most upset seeing on the internet. That's nasty.

Seeing full, like, flaying videos. Seeing people get eaten by sharks, things like that. Oh, yeah. The lady getting bit by the crocodile. I'd like to see that question answered, which celebrity, which female celebrity would be the best of getting eaten by a shark? You would have more of her eaten by a shark. That would be one of the most horrifying thing.

If you saw that and it had like 500 comments and like a thousand up votes, I would be like, let's figure out. Let's ask. Who would be the best? Pull up Reddit right now, Julio. What does it mean to be good at getting eaten by a shark? Who would basically just be like a finger left floating in motion? Who would get eaten most completely? Yeah.

Is the metric? So whoever is smallest. All right. Let's open up as per rite. But also whoever doesn't fight, doesn't know that much about sharks because you just got to punch it. Okay, so start off who's the smallest. The smallest celebrity is the smallest celebrity with Deep Roy.

Sabrina Carp. Well, we're talking female. Female celebrities. Oh, okay. Or Simone Biles. But she would obviously do like a handstand in between shark mouth. You know, American Horror Story, there's that clip of Emma Roberts picking up the little person, her.

I don't know this clip. No little people allowed. No little people allowed. It's too easy for the shark. So you're saying Sabrina Carpenter. Sabrina Carpenter is the smallest. She doesn't seem like she would fight off a shark. She'd probably be all girly about it.

Would this be Ask Reddit NSFW? Huh? This is Ask Reddit NSFW. That is the subreddit that that question was on. So you're going to ask which female celebrity would be best at being eaten by the shark. And then in the body, can you say, to clarify, best means the one who is the most completely

eaten by the shark without fighting it off very well. Which female celebrity would be the best at getting eaten by a shark? Okay. And you need to clarify. Clarification. Okay, hold on. To clarify,

I am asking which female celebrity would be left as a finger in the ocean? Most completely eaten. AKA A.k.a. A.k.a. Most completely eaten. And would do a bad job

fighting off the shark. And would do a bad job fighting off the shark. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Reddit. Must be female. I've always wanted to post here. I've always wanted to post here.

Has to be a female celebrity. By the way, it has to be a all caps, female celebrity. Perthes, no deep roy. Parentheses. No celebrities. like Deep Roy.

Okay, so we'll get an answer. We'll get a couple of answers, I think. Yeah. Usually get some answers on stuff like Deep Roy. Celebrities like this is for the people who are refreshing the Ask Reddit in SFW. Yeah. Okay, wait, let's check the community rules. It's probably.

Don't shame or be gross. Don't advertise. Don't be a toxic asshole. Don't shame or be gross. Interesting. Discretion. 18 plus. Throwaway garbage.

We do not accept throwaway. spammy, TikTok trends are or AI bullshit. As far as I know, this isn't a TikTok trend. Not yet. Maybe it will be soon. Let's see.

Okay. Repost to R slash pepperoni. It's a restricted community. Dude, just let it let it ride. I've already, no,

I've posted it. I'm reposting it to another subreddit. Okay, that's smart. You get more eyes on it. I think Sabrina Carpenter probably is the answer. I feel like she would basically just be left.

of having trouble thinking of someone smaller. Who's smaller than that, dude? Who is the smallest female celebrity? That's a good question. I mean, adult female celebrity. Yeah, that's actually a really good point. Because you can't be a kid. We don't want to see a kid in by a shark.

I don't want nobody wants to see that. I just want to know who's doing the best at it. Yeah, yeah. But it feels wrong to, it feels cruel to even include child actors in the experience. Guys, we already have 34 views on the post. Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton.

Oh, Jada Pinkett Smith is even smaller than Sabrina Carpenter. Wow, she's little 4 foot 11? Wow. Holy fuck. Kristen Chenoweth. He would do so. This is kind of like a head-to-head battle. It's Sabrina Carpenter versus Dolly Parton.

And then Christian Chenewood versus Jada Pinkett Smith. It's a bracket. Spicy storyteller says, what the fuck? Okay, well, let's check out his. Let's just be friendly says, what in the weird fetish is this? People are instantly responding. Yeah. Say, guys, it's really not.

You're overthinking this. You guys are overthinking this. It's really... You're overthinking this. It's really just a simple question. And you have to answer. And you have to answer. That is exactly what the scary fetish guys would say.

It's just a simple question. It's not a fetish. It's just a simple question. Why are you being so mean to me? Why are you being so mean to me? And then make a comment to say, guys, it's my first Reddit post. Guys, it's my first Reddit post. please calm down and just answer the question.

And stop getting mad at me. These guys are... Can we just get an answer out of these guys? I mean... I know, no answer to it. What is wrong with these fuckers? These people are literally so tied up in getting flair. Pulling teeth trying to understand...

Getting gold. These people want Reddit gold so... They want Reddit gold so fucking bad that they can't even answer actual philosophical questions. They're always on. They're always trying to get ahead of someone else. They're trying to get like a just a commendation or whatever. Your post was removed because what the fuck.

That's what the moderator said? Dude. That's really disrespectful. Pull up a video of Carmen saying, suck my balls and send that shit to him. DM him. Okay, well, hold on, hold on. Make it again.

Fuck it. Make it again. Wait, copy the link to the one about the blowjobs and then send it to the moderator and be like, but you allow this Phil fun here? I'm at work. I can't be read stuff like this. Why is this allowed, but not my genuine question.

Genuinely, right? What is weird about that question? Why is it allowed to ask which celebrity would be best at sucking dick and not okay to ask which celebrity would be eaten by a shark? More. It's just both. This website fucking sucks, man. It's gone way downhill. These are pretty much.

the same exact question. I don't understand why my post was removed. It was my first Reddit post and I'm simply sorry. Is there anything I could do to make this question acceptable? Is there anything I can do to make

the question acceptable? I turned 29 two months ago. Okay, well, two hours ago, did anyone's cock get better with age. I can't ask which

how is that fundamentally different? We said female. But they said yeah, you're right. Is it because I said female?

Sorry, I should have I just realized because I said female. Is it because I said female? Dude, imagine me the moderator. I know,

deciding what yeah. That's tough, man. That's a tough job. Honestly, this guy's a tough job. That's a good that we should kind of do. Okay. Next, next episode we're doing a simulator.

Okay. We're going to go, I'm going to collect a million posts from this subreddit. We're going to go through and we're going to be moderators and decide if they would say it or not. Which ones are appropriate? For our version of Ask Reddit, NSFW. Yeah.

We're going to protest against this moderation team. We would do a better job. These people need to be, they need, I think that's, I think we can prove that they are. Well, we would do a better job.

Exactly. That they're idiots. You know, frankly. Yeah. And honestly, I would accept a moderator position. Yeah, I would. I actually, beyond accepting, I'd kind of demand it.

I would be honored. I wouldn't be honored. I would treat it as a great burden. I would treat it as a monumental task that I'm forced to do every day. And every day I wake up and I'm like, oh, fuck. And my hair is like, my hair turns white overnight as soon as I accept the job. It's right on the line. I can't tell whether it accept it or not.

God. I'm fucking, I'm taking bumps at it. at my laptop. Jesus fucking Christ, the post, don't stop coming in. Yeah, you're talking about it at everybody's birthday. And it seems it's the people who do this right now are honestly, I can tell from this brief interaction. They're lackadaisical. Yeah.

Yes. Dude, that's literally the exact word I was about it. That's actually crazy. I mean, I'm not kidding. That's the word I was about to say. Because it's what they are. They're lackadaisical about it.

They're genuinely lackadaisical. Guys, guys, Mrs. Miss Pretty Stems, the gooner raccooner says, oh, I don't know, genius. Sucking dick doesn't involve death maybe. Also, you left out the all-cap females this time, so good for you. Almost 30 in posting this is fucking bullshit. Say you would be less than a finger.

I don't get why anyone's mad at me. I'm just trying to ask philosophically questions. Do you really need someone to explain to you that fantasizing about the death of others is worth fantasizing about the pleasure of others? Have you seen Hellraiser? Pleasure.

I'm not fantasizing. I'm not fantasizing. It's an actual just experiment, a thoughtful experiment. It's a thought experiment. I thought this was Ask Reddit. I thought this was Ask Reddit. I thought this was Ask Reddit. I thought anything goes.

Even crazy shit like would a shark make a girl a finger. But genuinely, I'm sincerely fucking sorry for ruining your day. You won't hear from me again. I think I'm just going to log off now. Louisiana. No. 9. The Amazon giant says, oh, he turned 229 2 months ago. All good now.

Glad we cleared that up. Honest mistake by the mods. Exactly. Thank you. Are these people replying to your comment? Are you going to leave this publicly? I thought you were messaging the mods. You all know me. You all know how I make my living. What the fuck do that mean?

What? What does that even mean? Somebody said that on your post. Yeah. What are my other posts? That's an actual shark. What are my other posts on Reddit? What are your other posts on Reddit? Yeah. Oh, R slash male fashion.

Does anyone know what shoes Tony Hinchcliff is wearing in his new special? Oh, the Cotor logo appears on my friend's skill after wearing a hat for too long. Oh, I remember that. Uh-huh. It did happen. Nature is fucking lit. Jeff Winger. That one's good.

Winger, man. Oh, on R slash Joe Box. Smoors from the ganacheery at Disney Springs. Wow, dude. And Reddit request, I'd like to become the moderate of R slash pepperoni. Did you, did that work? No. Why aren't you allowed in R slash Sponb?

Chicken nuggets that look like SpongeBob and Patrick. Bro, it says Squidward and SpongeBob. That does look like Squidward and SpongeBob. That's your finger holding the sauce. That's more than his finger. Oh, really? Yeah. When was that?

This was at Patrick's House Warming. Oh. R-slash mildly interesting. We had that? You guys had chicken nuggets? What did we have that? He got a big thing of Popeyes. I did?

Dude, that sounds so good to me right now. I haven't eaten lunch. I have no memory of this whatsoever. Are you sure that's me? I don't remember holding sauce at Patch's house ever. Ever? No, I don't think I ever have held sauce at his house. I'm serious.

Someone named the Uber Wenge who was all about anal said it's a second Reddit post. That's not true even. The Uber wench who is all about anal. That's a long Reddit name. I don't realize it got that long. There's a little flare at the bottom. You can make one of your Reddit tags all about anal. Yeah.

Apparently on that subreddit. It's, oh, it's dependent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like a, it's not like. And I think you can make what, I think they're completely custom. Yeah. I think you can put whatever you want.

Yeah. Because someone said gooner racooner. Yeah, what does that mean? I don't know. These are the kind of degenerates that are on ask. Who are horrified by women getting, eating by sharks, something that happens almost every day. You guys can't stomach just a woman being eaten by a shark, even a celebrity?

You have to admit it'd be on the news. Oh, my bad. I thought this was Ask Reddit, not Ask Reddit NSFW. Oh, real quick. I'm sorry, my question is being this conserved. No, no, leave a comment say, you know it's literally more likely for you to die in a car accident than get eaten by a shark, right? Sharks are not interested in humans. They often eat them on accident.

Say that. Sharks are not interested in it. So it wouldn't even happen. You're less likely to get. You're more likely. to die from a car accident. Yeah, you're more likely to be killed by a boar than a shark.

These celebrities, in fact, they're so mad. Plus, celebrities often have security guards. Yes, this would likely not happen. That would be a way to share. Celebrities have security guards, this would likely not happen. Guys, it isn't real life. Guys, I just realized this isn't Ask Reddit. This is Ask Reddit, NSFW.

My bad. My question is being misconstrued as sexual. Anyway, celebrities often have security guards. so they would not be eaten by a shark. You're more likely to die in a car accident. You're more likely to die in a car than a shark attack. Than a shark attack. So I figured it was an interesting question to ask. I didn't mean to cast sharks in a negative light.

I didn't mean to cast sharks in a negative light. Or to glorify celebrities. Or to glorify celebrities. It was my birthday on July 23rd. And I mean it. I turn 20. I mean it. I turn 29. Surely that's going to diffuse the whole situation. They're losing their minds over there.

I can't believe there are enough active users on Ask Reddit NSFW. This is instantly getting traction like this. That's crazy. These people are at work right now. It's 138. People go to this subred and jack. off to the questions? I don't know what?

What is the we have to do a deep dive on this? What is the purpose of this? You go and you jack off to the questions that people ask? The question of who, which celebrity would be the best at sucking dick?

That's so messed, bro. That's messed. That's so messed up. This website. Yeah, it's messed. It's fucking messed. Why did you guys pause? Like,

I can't use that slang. Because it just didn't sound as as when me and him said it because we said it so casual, like, because we're most of the guys. Hey, boy. Man, don't finger me. Finger up you. That's what the kind of stuff they're asking on here. Hey, don't finger me? No.

Make that one. Which celebrity would be the best at fingering? And then in the comment say, happy now? Which celebrity would be the best at fingering? Is everybody happy now? And then leave a comment. I think I'm banned from the suburb. No, no, wait a minute. I forgot a question mark. There we go.

Leave a comment on this on your own post and say Doug Bradley. Doug Benson. Doug Benson, he'd get all high. He would get high as fuck first. Doug Bradley's the guy who plays pinhead. I think they deleted my... Your second one? No, it's still up.

Dude, they're really... This is an onslaught of questions. You're about to get banned. I'm right on the edge of them. Happy now? Nazis. I mean, if that question gets removed, it's clearly they're not being objective. Yeah, because that's, you know what I bet it's going to happen?

They're going to be like, this was already asked yesterday. We're removing for this. Who would be the best at fingering? That's a good question. Okay. So now I see the appeal of this website. My Reddit name is just my first and last name plus the number one. So it's all tied back to me.

They can look me out. Well, we just established there's a year. He probably thinks Patrick Dore and the actor. They're going to see the other actor. I'm trying to think. Best Celebrity at Fingering. Oh, what's his name? What's the guy who plays?

Ron Perlman. What's the... I feel like he's got some big fucking hands. What's the guy who plays Abe Sapien? The guy who's in all the prosthetics all the time. Doug Jones? Doug Jones. Douglas Jones.

A lot of Dougs coming up. Dugs. Most Dougs. I'm going to go wild card here. Nick Nolty would be good I'm good Oh wouldn't it be an I mean

Wouldn't it be an athlete Does it have to be a celebrity Like I mean an actor celebrity Yeah athletes are celebrities right Yeah So we could throw in someone with What's a sport Where you need long fingers

What about that fuck? George Wint George Wend George Wendt George Wendt Norm from Cheers What about that guy The world

hand wrestling champion of the world I don't know his name for arm wrestling whoever he is he might be good you got big meaty palms I've been banned

for masquerade for how long man for life you can just be banned for life from this subreddit you can be banned for life from any subreddit

for simply asking who'd be a finger because you broke the community's rule what rule did you break what fucking rule I don't know. I'm accepting the request right now to ask.

You need to appeal that. Oh, because I'm permanently banned. I can't. You need to appeal. Yeah. Oh, here we go. Hello, I would like to know what I have been banned for. What rule exactly have I been banned for?

I'm 29 and it's not exactly a golden year for me. We'll wait. Yeah. We'll just wait. Because I dare them to come up with a specific violation. cite it. See, this is what we're going to do. This is going to be like a papers please style game.

You have the rules. We're going to have the rules. Like, what does this? Is this permissible? Yeah. That's a really good idea. Yeah. That's a very, very good idea.

We're going to go by their rules. Yeah. Which may be Asinon, but we're going to go by that. Yeah. And we can come up with questions. Yep. We'll have a bunch of questions and we'll test each other. I'll find actual post that they let through.

And we'll see it should this have been let through. will prove their hypocrisy. I'm going to say I'm maybe a little too prudish for this job. I'm going to be saying no a lot. Well, you have to follow the rules. You can't just be saying, you can't just say that in advance. You're not fit for any job. You're right.

What am I thinking? You haven't even seen anything yet. You don't know the rules. The all about anal Uber wench is the mod. Oh, okay. The mods are all about anal. Yeah. Well, they are very anal.

Yeah. They are all anal. Uh-huh. They're extremely anal if they're extremely anal. getting rid of question because that is not a safe for work question. No, if that would, that would not be allowed on me. We can say it at our job because our job is very last safe fair.

Asking which female celebrity would be the most eaten by a shark? Yeah. Yeah, you'd get in trouble at work for that. That's not safe for work. That's an HR call. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's in there.

He's asking us which female celebrity would be eaten by a shark. Yeah, save that for your, save that for the home computer. Well, unless you're Dwight, Dwight would say that. Yeah. Here, let's try. Dwight would ask almost all of his questions. Go to the office one and say. I'm going to try which.

Yeah. Yeah, which cast member? Wouldn't Dwight say this? Wouldn't Dwight say some shit like this? Is there your own post or slash the opposite and say wouldn't Dwight say some crazy shit like this? Oh, I can't repost it because it was deleted. They're like literally destroying. Yeah. Oh, they're all.

I hate them, man. Do you guys think that Dwight would ask which celebrity would be eaten by a shark the best? Left is just a finger. So my friends and I are high as balls right now. and we were watching the office and thought that Dwight would definitely ask around the office which celebrity would be best eaten by a shark and left only leaving a finger. But then we realized it was actually a good question. But then we realized it was actually a good question,

but we're discussing the validity of it being an NSFW question for work. By the way, our answer right now is Sabrina Carpenter. our answer right now is Sabrina Carpenter but if you know any other celebrities please comment them below or give your thoughts on whether or not Dwight would say this he would say that he might trick out

see and why do I feel like the fan base of the office would be more accepting is going to be more accepting of stuff like this of genuinely good-natured questions about celebrity fingers yeah question sharks.

Because I just don't understand why they got their panties all up in a bunch about. No. I mean, it's not. It's not the type of thing that should be. Well, I'm going to be 37 in a few months and you don't see me making stupid Reddit posts. Well,

let's see. You obviously don't really get Reddit and your posts are dumb. You're spamming while bitching about the sub. And this was probably inevitable. So let's just nip it in the bud. Look, going to be honest with you. This is not a banner year for me.

I'm trying out new things, and I knew that this question was NSFW. I did not realize that NSFW strictly meant sexual. Please, please give me a second chance. Say one of my New Year's resolutions was to use Reddit. One of my New Year's resolutions was to use Reddit. And it's clearly going like shit so far. And it's clearly going like shit so far.

Do you have any advice for posting? Do you have any advice for posting? I'm sincerely so fucking sorry. I'm mortified. I'm absolutely mortified. I'm so fucking sorry. Anything from the office? Validated R packages without the validation grind.

What does that mean? Somebody. Sounds like it. Oh, that's an ad. Advertisement. It sounds like. Come on, bro. Got tricked by an ad.

I was tricked by an ad on Reddit. Look, I'm not a Redditor. Okay, you've seen my posts. I hate to break it to you. You're a Redditor. Everyone thinks my posts are dumb. You're now a Redditor. I'm now a Redditor.

I mean, this is all preparation. You went through your whole post history. You're a Redditor. This is my preparation for... You are certified. You are certified. Next episode. Yeah, we're going to really get into this.

Yeah. Because now I'm a reditor. What makes it tick. Now? I'm going to be submitting some in my free time, I think. Yeah. I don't see why not. What?

Why does that subreddit exist? What? Celebrity. No, Ask Reddit. What is it? Celebrity sharks? Celebrity shark attack.

That one of celebrity shark attack. At least you could create that. You should create that. Create that subreddit. Here we go. Celebrity shark. Celebrity shark questions. Whoa, one member of celebrity shark.

Here we go. What's on there? Reason for a, it's a restricted community. Oh, no. Why do I feel like this? shit would get restricted even by the super mods. Yeah. Because that is literally so effed.

We're being silenced. We're being silenced. Just because we asked one good question. We asked one really amazing question. A basic question. A basic question. I mean, a fundamental question. I would say a sleepover question. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you know what? It's the time of day.

It's too early. We should have asked a sleepover question at night. Is there after dark? Is there Ask Reddit after dark? Ask Reddit Sleep over. Sleepover. questions. Sleepover, is there R slash sleepover 24-7?

Is it a shower thought? No, it's good. It's a question. Yeah, true. Maybe no stupid questions. Oh, yes. That's a good one to throw that on. There we go.

Okay. Because then nobody can tell you no. Yeah. Okay. Because you can't say it's a stupid question. Right. Which celebrity would be best at getting eaten by a shark?

Where'd you put that one? No stupid question. Okay. Yeah. We're going to get answers here. These people are going to be understanding. So my friends and I are high as balls. And we're wondering.

Which celebrity would be the easiest for a shark to eat? Female. It doesn't exactly have to be female. But it feels like that makes the most sense. But it feels like that makes the most sense. Our current answer is Sabrina Carpenter. Our current answer is Sabrina Carpenter. We're having a bit of a laugh if you can't.

tell. We're having a bit of a laugh if you can't tell. And we're smoking cigars. And we're smoking cigars and pot. But it is genuinely a good question. But it is genuinely a good high as fuck question. Let the answers fly, y'all. I wonder what they will say. Let the answers fly, y'all. That's good. That's good. That is good. Anything from the office? Okay, fine. I'll give you one more chance, but no more posting for 24 hours. So, so really that's your resolution? Even in his mercy, he's being a dickhead to you.

No, I think it's the, I think it's the anal wench. Even the anal winch is being a, she's being a shit. But she's still being kind. She's being a fucking Rediter. But why? Yeah, but why does you get to diss your New Year's resolution, man? That's not cool, but I'm surprised they gave you another chance. I know.

I know. That's actually, I may, yeah, maybe we were to. We were a little bit too harsh on the. That's very kind. It's hard to. A little backhanded though with the, yeah. That's what I'm saying. And I feel like also kind of like a glass house situation. It's like you're a moderator.

Yeah. You're kind of spending your day or applying to people like this. Yeah, exactly. You didn't even have to make a resolution for it. Oh, so what was your fucking resolution? Okay, thank you. Well, I'm going to be, I can't, I can't swear. I'm not going to be rude.

I don't want to be rude. Roodness is NSFW. It's NSFW. Thank you so. Thank you so much. I don't. curiosity, what was your resolution? I guess I should make a new one this coming year. It's so dumb. I do want to know what theirs was. I do want to know. I got to know. Because that's

not, I mean, it's a dumb resolution, but it's unique. I think it's unique. It's unique. I'm going to post on Reddit. There's just probably like, I want to go to the gym. I'm going to, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like, uh, it's classic. Thank you very much. I'm sorry that my questions were inappropriate, even for an NSFW subreddit. I also what was your resolution because apparently mine sucks. That's too rude. They're not going to answer. They're going to answer.

They're not going to answer. No, it fits the tone of everything else that he's saying. Skin juice 7086 says Zendaya. Finally a fucking answer. Yeah. That took a minute. Finally. Who's that from?

Who's that from? What stupid questions? See, I told you that answer. Those people are really. Those are salt to be easier. PM me, your tiny donger says it would certainly be easier to eat Vern Troier than it would be to eat Sabrina Carpenter. Yeah.

So we didn't. We also. Yeah. You should say, hey, PM me, your tiny donger. Fern Troirn has passed away. So he's ineligible for the question. Auto corrected to Fern Royer. Fern Royer is already passed away.

Hey. PM me, your tiny donger. Ferd Royer has already passed away. There's the episode title. Ferd Royer has passed away. All right. Oh, man. Guys, if you're in New York City on October 30th,

me and Thomas White are doing a show at Life World, Kalomas. What does that mean? It's our names combined. Yeah. Oh, I understand. Galomas. I didn't really know what it meant. I said that really early on into him planning this whole thing.

I said we should call it Colomas, and I didn't know that he was actually going to do it. And then he hit me up to make the poster. And you be bodied the poster. Show it right here in my end. Colomas, October 30th day before Halloween. Yep. That's it.

Yep. All right, guys. What? Never mind. Okay. I thought there was a new answer. Yeah, I want to know this person's.

You're going to keep us updated the other day, right? Our question has been removed for joke questions. Fuck this fucking shit. This website is stupid. Timothy Shalamee, one bite and it's over. So you needed to specify female. Yeah. Yeah.

She's big. Yeah, she's tall. All right. I have just learned about Rutherford Falls, a show that you created. Do we know he created it? Co-created. Say, again, we don't know that much about you. Again, we don't know that much about you, but right now we are sure about Rutherford Falls.

No, we say we've invented an idea of you. Yes. And we want to ensure it's actually. We have invented an idea of you and we want to ensure it's accurate. We find the Wolverine game from what we know to be linear story slop to a fault, to a fault. We did everything except find Wolverine. So it says, again, we don't know much about you, but we are sure about Rutherford Falls. We have invented an idea of you and want to ensure it's accurate.

Find Wolverine. Find Wolverine. I can't top that. I just hit Send. Yeah, I think you just got to send it. Like the people say, find God. Yeah. Hey, buddy, find Wolverine.

I think you'll like him.