Podcast About List - UNLOCKED - Premium #87: FaceTime From Santa

Episode Date: August 4, 2021

im so sorry, im crying. we will actually have a new episode next week, witha biiig fat guy guest. yeah, its you. just kidding.

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. This is premium content. If you are not a premium subscriber, please pause now and purchase a premium membership immediately. Oh, my God, we have Mario. I don't look like Mario. Hey, so, Mario, does it hurt? Oh, my God, my name's Patrick, and I'm Mario. I don't look like Mario.

You also sound like Mario. I'm going to shut this off right now. We're wearing Mario's classic outfit right now. So then it'll just be me, Cam, and Mario. And then we can ask him questions. Hey, does it hurt when you go into the pipes? Does it squeeze you really hurt? I scream.

You scream, really. They cut that out of the games. They must turn the volume down. They mute my microphone when I go in the pipe because I scream. That's another question. When you're acting in the games, do you have like a lab mic on? Like, how do they get your audio? They put a mic on me.

I don't know what it's called. Mario, you're so fucking stupid. You fucking idiot. I'm just an actor, I don't worry about fucking short-ass idiot Are you a dwarf or is peach really tall? I was born six feet tall, I got small. Oh, you got smaller when you got older.

Oh, okay. Are you guys done with this? Are you guys done? Can you not interrupt? If you're going to dress like Mario, the least you can do is let us talk to Mario. Caleb and I are both doing an interview with Mario, okay? Right now, so Caleb keep asking all the questions

for our interview with Mario. I'm wearing, I got a new Red Sox fitted. I'm wearing Mario mustache. The other one. Let's go. I'm wearing a Mario clothes. My other Red Sox fitted was too big. Yeah.

Well, because Mario shrinks over time as we've already established. Yeah. Cameron, you tried it on when you were, when you were at my apartment. I'm also, I'm in New Hampshire right now. The birthplace of Mario. Birthplace of, no, Matthew Thornton. No. And aunt.

That's where Nintendo is based is New Hampshire. This comes out, buy tickets to the early show also, I got... Oh, yeah, yeah, buy tickets to the early show. Let's plug that now. Let's plug it right now. This comes out at the beginning of June?

This comes out, middle of June. Yeah. This comes out in May. You know what I realized? So going from June to July, we're in July now, right? Yeah. So I thought everybody was dressing gay

because of pride. but it's actually because it's so damn hot that you have no choice but to dress so gay or else you will die dude i want to get a mesh tank time so bad and and now i feel bad for me and pat walking around williamsburg telling all the people dressed in nothing put some damn drawls on why ain't you got no draws on we do do do that a lot we do walk up to people and say put some clothes on listen ma'am i think you may have forgotten your draws at home yeah because you ain't got no draws on. Me and Caleb, uh, we wear like big three-piece, like Steve Harvey suits and we walk up to women and tell them. They're like, they're way too big. You look like a kid wearing a dad's suit.

Yeah. Like the sleeves and pant legs are like trailing on the ground as you walk. I got some extra cloth for you right here. Yeah, here. Take some of this. You look like you've been attacked by a bear. Here's some, put some damn draws. That was the funniest. Your ass cheeks and in your butt front. This is just nasty. That's a problem I don't think I've thought about in, um, years is slut-shaming you know like it used to be a big deal dude people used to get real mad about it but now it's like just i mean like i'm not like calling you a slut i'm just saying like some like draws are like you have to wear them i guess as a man i don't have to think about that is is i would like to throw a trench coat

over you and a paper bag on your head yeah that's all i'm saying i've been fucking slut shamed dude i used to sag my pants in school and the teacher he bought me a big ass belt Yeah. Yeah. Embarrassing-ass, giant-ass W-W-E belt. You'd want a small belt to be so it could be tighter, right? It's a big belt. It's going to sag, too big.

No, because his ass is too big. It's wide, but I did have a big ass. It's from big-ass-brand. Big-ass-brand belts. You put a hula hoop around. It's the big-ass band brand of belts. Yeah. Yeah, and it would work pretty well.

It's like big-baller brand, but for asses. A lot of people don't realize I was a slutty little kid. Dressed like a complete slut all the time. total slut-ass whoreish kid is who I was yeah and I grew out of that I was very modest and now I wear pants but I used to have my dress like a hoe now I mean look at me yeah I used to have my ass and titties out all day long on the playground and then the teacher's put some draws on you little ass boy you ain't supposed to have no draws on you a little ass boy and I'd say you're not your teacher your teacher told you you're not supposed to have

drawers or not supposed to Caleb what happened with you and your teacher he said put some clothes on And I said, hey, buddy, do something about it, wink. And he put a belt on me, which is not where I was going. You tried to fuck your teacher? I tried to fuck everybody until I was 15. Yeah, pretty much. Try to fuck anybody. Yeah.

Yeah, new family members. You know, you go to like a Thanksgiving, and they're like, this is your uncle's best friend's cousin. Something, not blood relation. But people will be like, this is like your, you're like twice removed, married-in cousin. Yeah, this is your new niece. Yeah. No. No. What was that? Or if somebody, like, you know, like friends, parents and stuff, just try to fuck them show my ass. Yeah, or like, yeah, your mom, like on a new haircut and you got confused, maybe. You got to show, you know what? The thing is, I mean, underboob's a big thing now.

Is it? Is that a big thing now? It's a thing. People are. People are doing under boob and stuff. I've seen it. But what do you, like, like, when you say people are doing under boob, yeah, what does that mean? Like, like a... Like, oh, women, oh, oh, oh, people with boobs. Uh, they're doing underboob. I think, I think, um, men should have something similar. I think we should have, you know, maybe like a, like, just one slit cut in the crotch of your pants so a ball can hang out. Oh, that's actually really smart.

Like, okay, so your zipper makes like a T, right? And you unzip the bottom part. And just like, not like, I mean, we're not like, I mean, we're not. getting disgusting. You're not going to see my entire balls, but you're just a little bit of it. Yeah, you're going to see like a little three, basically. It could be like, it could be like right between. You'll see one long pub that I've been

growing out. Yeah, exactly. That would be nice. Or it could be like a little, you know, a horizontal slit that shows just like, just under the base of the shaft, but before, like, if your balls hanging low and up, just a little bit of skin. What about, like, what about just like, pair of pants, right?

And just around the zipper and the crotch, like the whole crotch area. clear plastic that's that's pretty illegal yeah yeah like a window into your dick and balls I think loincloths might come back reverse loincloth is what we need though yeah that's what we're trying to make no the loincloth I mean I don't know if you ever seen a caveman wearing a loincloth that thing

that thing only works from one direction trust me I've seen I've seen a few cavemen in loincloths in my day also wait okay so a loincloth doesn't it's can people still see your butt hole Like, I'm way more worried. That's what, that's... But, like, I'm way more worried about people seeing my butthole and my penis. Yeah, because you could have TP crumbs on it. Because, like, my butthole is, like, fucking, like, disgusting.

Do you have, like, disgusting? Like, I don't know, I don't know what it looks like, you know? And the first time that I... I can draw what it looks like for you right now. Please do, I would like to know. Yeah, okay, press the shift key on your keyboard. Okay. Hold it down.

Now press 8. What does that do? Do you see what it's typed in? To typed in? That's what it looks like. I need to open up... Yeah, open up Google Docs. Set the font size really big.

Set it red, too. Set it to a red font font font. Oh, it does kind of look like that. No, mine isn't red, dude. I'm not a porn star. It looks like... I mean, it's well-worn, I would say. It looks more like Shift 3, I think, is what the situation you're working with.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. 100%. I would say shift 3 with a shift 8 in the middle of it. Mine is, I think mine is shift 2. I think that's what I'm working with. Oh, definitely, yeah. But it keeps spiraling on for eternity. It's shift 2 because I have a hemorrhoid problem.

Honestly, my asshole looks like an Uzimaki spiral. Yeah. Yeah. I'm working with more of a, I've got an Alt 1 type of deal going on. I don't know if you're on Windows or not. I have an Alt 1 in the front. Yeah. But yeah, man, like... That's what my meatis looks like.

I think that was... I'm nasty today, Jesus. You are nasty. The biggest reason I probably could never do porn besides being ugly with a small penis is that I could never do that shot where they go behind the guy's butt hole and they make it...

I don't think anybody can. Yeah, no one... No one can pull that off, but when someone pulls that shot off, I mean... I mean, come on. At its best, they're doing like, like, Like, you know that the way that they came up with that shot

was somebody who's watching Empire Strikes Back as the ship started moving past the frame They're like, I just had the best idea for a guy's balls and butt This is going to be perfect. When the Bullenium falcons flying out of the worm, that's the exact same shot. Yeah, and it just keeps going and going, and you're just like, dude, this is, this would be so funny

to make people watch this A Gana guy's balls. I know I think I've said it before on here but like the porn industry is so lucky that Smelovision never caught on. Oh yeah. Because that would have made that would have been over. You imagine what it smells like.

The whole room, horrible. Horrible stuff. Yeah, just under hot lights. Yeah. Camera right up in the, in the hole. I mean, I pretty much only have missionary style normal sex and it smells like salami every single time. So like if there was a lot of,

like a woman vomiting and crying and like butts in holes involved then that would be like stage lights and also like like five guys who stand who stand there whose job is to like confer with each other and then go faster faster okay slower yeah i've i've had an italian sub kind of just sitting out all day next to me that's your smell you nailed it yeah that's exactly what it would smell like yeah i mean you leave that you leave that next to you leave that next to you you, like, while you're watching it, you'll have the full picture. Sex, like, at its best, like, cleanest, right out of the shower, smells like a friend's car. So, like, the, like, worst version of that is, like...

Yeah. It's, yeah. Like, it's gotta be so bad, dude. It'll be so fucked up, bro. Yeah, it's got to be fucking horrible. Yeah, one of the, yeah, five McDonald's bags that are, like, hiding under the passenger seat. They're like, sorry, people don't usually sit in the passenger seat. Hold on, before you get in, let me move a bunch of bags.

There's a box of French fries in the back of the car that are, like, perfectly preserved somehow. Hold on, we just, yeah, no, you can send the passenger seat, just roll that wheel of cheese out of the way and you'll be good. Can you move my wheel of Parmesan? Can you move that to the back seat? Just don't hit your head on the fish tank, okay? Yeah, and then they're like, you're like, what the fuck is under me? And they're like, oh, sorry, that's my birth certificate. I'm looking for it for quite a while.

Will you hand it to me? And then they just like lick a side of it and stick it to the windshield. Yeah, no, can you hand me? No, not next to the onions. Nice to the bag of onions there. Next to the onions. Yeah, can you hand me that CD? Yeah, it's a single CD of Tracy Chapman Fast Car.

I really want to listen to it. As somebody who's never owned a car, you know, I have a lot of fun being on my high horse about that. There is nothing I love more than, like, walking down the street and seeing, like, a car that's, like, hordered style full of trash. Every time I just want to stand to just look through the window and just, like, see what's in there, like, so badly. Play, like, eye, spy with that. Exactly. I just want to be like, oh, I want to see where they've been eating. I want to see what, yeah, what CDs they gave up on and threw it into the back. Like, I just want to know everything.

It's always a pleasure to come to the end of like a two-hour road trip and like not really think about it, but then open up the door and they'll be like, all right, time to clean the car out. And you realize that you ate at like five different fast food places over that two hours and you have like just giant bags from all of them. I'm so fucking glad that I don't have a car for that. reason. Dude, you would have the most evil car imaginable, bro. I would have the most disgusting car. You'd be one of those fuckers who keeps Taco Bell sauce in his glove compartment. Yeah, I, you know what? And he'd be like, you know that you have to refrigerate this at some point, right? You know, I honestly didn't think of that until you said it, and I totally would. I would have like six things like the Diablo sauce just in the car. It's like, oh, I just forgot

to throw that out. It'd be like a fucking, it'd be like a, like a, the components of an MRE scattered across your car. You could, like, fully make one. I got to eat and drive at the same time. I'll be doing a lot of work. Oh, we do a lot of driving. This is for my new, oh, man. I got to get you behind the wheel of a car, dude.

Yeah, I got to learn. No, I do. No, before you learn, I have to see you drive one. No, you'll die. Do you want to learn together? I'm going to learn in the fall, I think. I might. I don't know.

Do you want to teach each other? I don't think I'll be. That would be horrible. You guys should get You try to teach me how to drive In Brooklyn, too Yeah, you guys should get one of those Instructor cars that has two steering wheels

And two brakes And you guys could just both drive that That's very efficient I mean, one of us would fuck up eventually So then the other one could fix it Exactly, I can drive my way around a parking lot And stuff Oh yeah, me too

I can do parking lots I mean that's pretty much all there is to it As far as I know I took a driving test I took two driving tests tests in my life. And the second one, when I failed it, they said that if I fail a third time, I'll have to go to court to prove. You have to go to jail. Pretty much. You got into the car, and the first thing, you buckled your seatbelt, and then you put an empty McDonald's bag onto

the, yeah, onto the instructor's feet, and they immediately failed you. So I was driving, I was taking the test in Manchester, which is like, everyone told me afterwards, like, oh yeah that's like the hardest one you should have gone to like this town or whatever and uh i because manchester's like kind of the city so i was like in like downtown manchester and i was like turning on some street corner and i didn't know like how to turn the car like i just like went in like i just went in was like i'm gonna take my driving test today because i passed the written because i was like oh fuck it whatever, and I, like, stopped in, like, a two-lane, like, thing.

Like, I fucked up so bad that she, and, like, she got, like, really mad at me. She got, like, super pissed at me. I don't remember where the story was going, but I did hit a curb on the way back to the DMV. Oh, curbs to nothing, dude. After, I hit the curb after fucking up the two-lane thing. This is a story that my dad always tells us, you know, but he's his friend took driving test and passed it and then that his friend the that guy's family was like oh let's celebrate you like you should take us out for all for a driver on the block like to with your new

license and he immediately hit a cat with his entire family of the car well a cat they don't prepare prepare you for i remember when i took the driving test they um they they do like one of the most evil things of all time when you're in the driving car where they're like uh you draw they find like a little stretch of road for you to drive on usually in like a neighborhood or something and they'll say okay accelerate like as fast as you can you're like oh okay yeah sure and then like before you are really thinking about what's the next step is the guy in the passenger seat goes stop and you have to just stop as fast as possible and it's like so fucked up dude it's like the most evil part of the test dude the thing about the thing about new hampshire i think is if like even in that driving test if you miss even one of their instructions like if they tell you to like turn under this road and you miss it even if they tell you like as it's like you're passing it and you don't do that I guess like that you can get points docked

last time that I went to so if you if you don't do the thing they tell you to then you know like you know you mean fuck you last time I need to go get a new license because mine's like insanely old I've talked about that before I get fucking I mean dude You're three years old in the picture.

Yeah. The roastmasters at the TSA just fucking own me every time. Oh, yeah. But I, uh, last time I went to the DMV, I had to, like, um, get, I think it was to get my license renewed or my registration renewed or something. And I showed up, and the lady was like, okay, so number one, your license has been suspended for a year. And number two, there's a bench warrant out for your arrest because you didn't show up in court for the reason why you got your license suspended. And I had like no idea. And she was like, so one or two things could happen.

Either I could tell that police officers over there to arrest you and you would go to jail. Or you can tell me that you were having somebody pick you up from the DMV and you're not going to drive home. And then I just won't tell anybody. And I was like, well, I choose fucking option two, dude. What are you talking about? Right. Why even give you the option? Yeah.

I was like, why are you talking about? Dude, I guess she did, yeah, so I had to, like, call my lawyer, and apparently, like, my dad's, like, traffic lawyer that, like, handled my, my passing a bus, a stop-to-school bus ticket. He apparently, yeah, you're dead as a traffic lawyer on call. Oh, dude, he literally does, yeah. Who he pays, like, a hundred bucks every time he does something horrible in a car. But the guy apparently was like, I was like, hey, did, like, you not show up for, like, my court appearance for this? and he was like oh yeah i was just like really hungover and i just didn't go and i was like there's been like an arrest warrant out for me for like three months dude

like what the fuck he's like i'm meant to tell you but i just forgot so he's pretty much the best lawyer ever i don't even know his name dude that's fucking the hot like hungover lawyer yeah the hungover lawyer dude like he's he's it was an amazing better call saw moment in my life when i was like i was like just eight turned 18 yeah and i'd like never had any problem with the police i never had a lawyer before i never yeah and the lady was just like you're gonna go to jail the hungover lawyer let's do it ready oh your honor i'm so hungover oh i'm so hungover i don't even want to be here may i approach the bar i have a motion for a fucking a nap break yeah objection i'm the hungover

lawyer. Motion for a McDonald's break, your honor. Motion for a bloody Mary because I need some more booze

in me. You have a fireball nip on you for some reason? The bailiff seems cool. Let's hang out later. I fucking

the fireball nip in the morning. That's a perfect hangover cure. Yeah, because it's candy, which is always going to make you feel

better. And alcohol. Yeah. Mix that with a Yurbamate? The metal. And you'll die. That's a really great.

That would be great. You'll want to die immediately. Yeah, that's the, I mean, that's the fucking, something with that much caffeine you should not mix with alcohol. It's pretty funny that the only hangover cure is beer. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's almost like it's a bad idea. It's almost like drinking's badly.

It's almost like it's some kind of cycle that it's pushing you into. I don't know. It almost makes no sense to my brain. It's confusing. It's hard to... It's hard to figure out what's going on with it. I don't like drinking it like breakfast.

Like Bloody Marys and like mimosas and all that shit. I fucking hate bloody marries. I don't make me fucking fall asleep, dude. Sometimes you'll like... Like when my family's in town, I'll like... My brother will get some shitty like brute champagne or whatever that like $2 champagne is and like orange juice.

And he'll make Bloody Marys like every morning and we'll have three and then I'll be like, do you want to go to the movies? And I'll be like, no, dude. I want to like fucking... I want to like... like fall asleep in a car right now. I don't want to do that shit, but the movies is awesome. No, it's not.

You miss the movie, but you know, that chair is so comfortable. If you're in, like, a good movie theater, you fall asleep in. You have a bed at your house. Somebody doesn't care about watching the Tomorrow War. And I think it's you, buddy. Last time, I think I fell asleep, um, premiere of Star Wars. The premiere? The premiere?

The 977. Wow. No, the premiere of Last Jedi. meant to say the world premiere you were on the red carpet the Force Awakens the Force Awakens okay the day of the premiere not the world premiere

uh December 15th or something like that you fucking suck you just suck or something like something like December 15th yeah then I fell asleep so it's like I didn't even really care I smoked I smoked weed with my friend Alex and my friend Dylan and then we went to the movie

theater and I was like way too high because anytime I ever smoke I just like can't function at all and I was trying to take a picture of just like how big the crowd was because I thought it was funny it was like there was a dude dressed up like Darth Mall like a couple feet in front of me so I was trying to take a picture of like a bunch of people and just like a Darth Mall standing there and I was just way too high and I had the flash on and it went off like in front of this woman's face and she turns to me and it's like did you just take a picture of me I was like no I was trying to take a picture of the crowd and I like needed to just like go in so like they like I went to the bathroom and then came back and then like they were letting people in and that was at like five

and the movie didn't start till like eight and I just immediately just like passed out in the theater just because I was way too high and I like woke up before Or, like, I think the first, like, the da, I woke up, like, around that time. The first, you know, you know, when Star Wars, when it does the first da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Speaking of taking photos of people who don't want it, the other day, I was, like, on the train. And I know, I'm the victim, dude, I'm the victim here. Yeah, I was on the train, I was just like, fuck, I was, like, so hungry, and I was, like, scrubbing your belly. I was...

Oh, I'm so hungry. Licking your lips. I need a hot dog. Dude. I need a hot dog. I need a hot dog. I'm diabetic. I keep one of my backpack.

Oh, I need a sandwich. Oh, please. I'll do anything. I'll do anything to eat a dagwood right now. Oh, I want a popcorn. Oh, I need a lollipop. I'm hungry. I need a

On the train He's rubbing their belly Just like Oh, I need a candy Apple Oh please Please Please

I'm so I need coffee And then a voiceover It comes on the train Ding Reminder Do not be extremely hungry on the train

Do not feed this man Do not feed the hungry man On the train Unattended lollipops And popcorn Please report them immediately to the New York Transit Authority Oh, please get some big, please give me a PDJ Oh my God, I need a candy cane

I'm so hungry Oh my God, dude Oh, I lost my bag of candy Oh, where's my candy corn? A group of guys came on on the train the other day While I was trying to listen to a podcast And started doing lunchtime again Oh

It's so annoying They should ban lunchtime from the tray They're spinning donuts on all the rails and shit It's so fucking annoying Oh Oh, I need my snow caps I need my junior mints I need a sponge bubble

Popsicle I need wax lips Oh god Where are my wax sodas Where are my wax sodas? Where are my wax sodas? I need one of those chocolate straws that turns the milk chocolate when you drink it. I'm so hungry.

Oh, please, does anyone have any chestman or Milano's or any kind of beverage farm? I need a candy G-string. I'm so much. Oh, why am I wearing the edible underwear? I want to eat it. So what happened on the train? I was just fucking destroying a Duncan and Poplar. sandwich just like shoving in my mouth as fast as possible and like looked up for one second to a lady taking a photo of me doing it and I just like full Sasquatch looked right in the camera and then I just ignored it so the rest so I just am aware that there is a photo of me just like like cheeks full chipmunking a fucking impossible Duncan sandwich and looking directly in the camera I hope somebody sends it to us me too man she's out there somewhere I doubt the

That was a fan's mom. Oh, it could be. Honey, here's that bald guy. You keep trying to show me during dinner. That's not him. That's a monkey. Did it look like someone you knew? Yeah, it actually looked exactly like my best friend.

Really? Yeah, my bad. You're right. It was actually my best friend, yeah. Oh, man, I really fucked that up. I thought it was a stranger. Yeah, you could have fucking, you could have told them. Yeah, it was Darlow.

You could have told them, hey, I'm your best friend. Yeah, they would have, they probably would have sent you to pick. your best friends. Have you guys ever been knowingly had a photo taken of you in public? I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think so either. Unless you count selfies taken

with my beautiful friends that I love. No, I don't, why would I count those? That makes no fucking sense, dude. I've had, I've had, like, friends take a picture, like, of me from behind and then send it to me. You've never dressed, especially stupid one day, and then, like, a bunch of construction workers take a photo of you?

No. Uh-oh, yeah, me neither. I mean, in high school, I think, In high school I probably like I'd like tuck my shirts in sometimes I'm sure it's so stupid I'm sure it's happened that I just didn't notice it I know I there's yeah

everybody it's happened to everybody I think uh it's okay Caleb that happens to pretty much everybody everybody has that day right pretty yeah exactly a day a week that's how often it happens to most people it's normal yeah

yeah yeah like second grade everybody has that day where you You walk out in downtown Boston And then the next day You see a post on Twitter With 500 million likes It's a Snapchat photo of that

With the caption He on Charlie Brown today Everybody's had that happen in them Right Everybody's been in that situation What was Oh Speaking of just like

You know Dressed in stupid Second grade They had crazy hat day And uh Yeah For a weird Some of those hats were crazy

What a boon. Those hats that day. Oh, my God. This one guy was wearing a hat looked like a damn chicken. I said, take that off your head. It looked like his head wasn't doing that today. But I showed up. But not on Crazy Hat Day.

I had that Darth Vader mask, like the one, the two-piece one that has like the chest piece from like Halloween. And I like showed up wearing that. And I was like pressing the button like talking through it. And they told me I couldn't wear it. because it was, like, too distracting. So I just went around that whole day with just, like, the Darth Vader, like, headpiece thing.

Like, you know, like, in space balls where he wears, like, the big helmet and he's just, like, that's all he's wearing. I was, like, dressed up like that for, like, the rest of the day in second grade. Damn, you were a stupid-ass seven-year-old. Dude, that's, like, the stupidest fucking move you can make. It's like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna bring my whole Darth Vader helmet

into school. I never did that Yeah Oh yeah We have like a test today Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah I know Did you guys

You guys Yeah Um Did I I don't think so In fucking In first grade I was pissed

About this Uh My mom didn't let me My Yamagyu Outfit Your Yamika My

Yugimodo Is that it? What are you talking about? Yugi from Yugo. Yugi's when he turns big. That's the one I was wearing. Yeah. She didn't let me wear my Yami Yugi outfit because she thought that it was violent or something. The school banned Patrick's Pharaoh outfit for certain reasons.

But I had to go dressed up as Scooby-Doo that day, and I was pissed off. Scooby-Doo of all the fucking people in the show that are humans. you dressed up like the dog But then when I got home When I got home I changed No what was the costume like What did it what did it entail? Like a full Scooby-Doo

Like a costume Like you had like Big Like Furry costume Where like the dog's head was like Yeah the dog's head is over my head Yeah your face is in the neck

In the hole yeah Oh my god I had to wear that instead of my fucking That is like Yamagugi outfit That's horrifying bro yeah that's maybe oh i was pissed i was fucking oh my god because i came home that night and i could go trick or treating as yugi but i couldn't fucking wear yami yugi to school did you have a dual

disc yeah oh i had the whole fucking thing you serious do you still have that dual this those are a lot of money now no i broke that when i was a kid my mom made me dress up like you were so stupid you know what i i i didn't even like like watch yuio that much i just thought the costume was sick Everybody thought Yu-Gi-O was cool without watching that much of it. I wasn't a lot of watching a camera-level Yu-Gi-o fan. I wasn't either as a kid. I got into Yu-Gi-o in college. He sucked, dude.

My family always thought, like, any, like, Japanese TV show was demonic. Yeah. It was like... It was like... Pokemon were the devil. Yu-Yo was the devil. But my mom made me dress up like Harry Potter and go to one of the Harry Potter premieres when I was a kid. and that was one of the worst days of my entire life.

It's also, I remember my parent, like, I would try to watch, like... What house are you? Harry Potter? No, you're... I remember trying to watch, like, like, anime. Like, trying to, like, watch anime on TV, like, or, like, Pokemon or Yu-Gi-O or something, and then adults being, like, oh, like, this animation is so... It's so horrible.

Like, only, look, their mouths are moving, and they barely even match up with the words, and it's, like, they turn on, like, a Hannah-Barbera or something instead, and it's like, this is... Yeah. It's worse, dude. Are you... Are you watching Dora the Explorer again? That devil TV show?

You fucking piece of shit. My uncle, one of my uncles, my uncle Kevin would just, like, tell us we couldn't watch Dora because she got deported. Well, that's not even, that's just a joke. That's just kind of a, kind of a, all right joke by Kevin. Yeah. No, whatever, Kevin. It was pretty funny. Did you guys call him Clever Kevin?

No, we never called him. You had to have called him Clever Kevin. I mean, I know. I know that guy was going to call him Clever Kevin. That's like my uncle mental. mental Michael. Mental Michael had a lot of really good jokes when I was a kid, dude. Yeah. Yeah, mental Michael, I remember one time, dude, this one blew my mind when I was like 10. I was like, yeah, I love horror movies. And he said, um, they prefer to be called prostitute movies. I was like, oh, you mental Michael, you fucking, you mentaled me again, you Michael. I've definitely talked about Uncle Kevin before because his state, somebody, my cousin Timmy was like, I want an eye touch for Christmas. And he said, oh, I one and I touch myself. I mean, that's a mental Michael line, fucking word for word.

I feel like all the uncles maybe have a shared consciousness or something. We've definitely talked about this, but the eye touch was just a gift for uncles. Yeah, definitely. I mean, not as a joke. I mean, just like, you know, get your uncle and I put touch. Yeah. It's a good gift for your uncle. Yeah, because, like, they don't have anybody to talk to, but they would like to play games on it.

They would love talking time. They need a camera right now. Yeah. Steve Jobs did focus groups And he saw And whenever an uncle was in the focus group You know They would

They would be in there And they'd be going like Yeah you know I think this little device is pretty cool But I want an iPod myself And then they do They raise their eyebrows And nobody would laugh

And then Steve Jobs was like We need to We need to take this up a notch We need the eye touch Yeah That's the next step And he got cancer And he was like

I need to eat so many grapes now Fuck I was saying I did that the other day. I need juice. So fucking funny, dude. That Steve Jobs got, like, the worst, most, like, fucking aggressive cancer that is, like, somewhat treatable. And he was, like, I'm going to eat a very...

I'm going to eat a pineapple and a coconut. The funniest part of that is that every guy like that who's, like, insanely rich, like, some, like, tech billionaire guy is, like, they try to... They'll, like, their publicists will try to tell you, like, do an interview where they try to say, like, yeah, that guy also... He used to run 500 laps around his office during the day just because he felt like, He used to jump out the window and it didn't hurt him And then it's like Don't understand how to go to the doctor And die

Do you think Steve Jobs' doctor was like Four years old or something He went and he's like You have pants off and he's like what should I do Maybe like a strawberry or an apple I think that might really make you feel better Thank you very much I'm gonna go meditate

The generation That the eye touch came out that time period where it was just like every one there was all these fucking apps it was just like

wow like everyone like it was like pocket god and like talking Tom and fucking like cam wow and just like all that shit

do you guys want to get really do you guys want to get into talking Tom yeah we should I'm gonna walk you up to you what the hell talking Tom said

something so racist what the fuck is is yeah talking Tom come on what are you doing talking Tom

you can't even get it to say it you can't say it you can't like you're covering your mouth yeah you won't believe what talking Tom

you said about you talking Tom what talking Tom just called you fat as shit you know what's really weird you know what's crazy what Talking Tom

has a TV show like there's a Talking Tom Netflix animated series that's not that crazy to me Netflix the Netflix shows are just pure evil every Netflix like I know but fucking talking time I didn't think talking Tom was that big

like I don't know they have a they have a trillion kids I mean it's the same thing as like the four kids YouTube stuff where like it ends up like um me and a girlfriend were looking for something to watch on Netflix and we scroll past this show called called larva island that was a kid's show yeah yeah and I was like we were like laughing about it and I press play and the first episode opens with the little larva eat some kind of poison and then just repeatedly farts and screams for like a full minute.

That show is like a... It's like a static shot and then the entire show just happens between like two worms. Yeah, that just like fart and cry and stuff. It's pretty cool, dude. I'm looking at a... I'm glad you watched it too. Talking Tom and friends. The voice of Tom Colin Hanks.

Whoa. That's sick. Colin Hanks. And they don't use any effect. effects on it, do you there? Whoa, really? No, it's just Colin Hanks. He just does that voice. He just does the voice.

Fucking insane, dude. Colin Hanks, Tom, Kenny, Maria Bamford, James Adomian. It's like a fucking incredible cast, dude. Yeah, that's a really good cast. I might have to check this out. Talking Tom, IMD. And it lasted for four seasons. 144 episodes.

What? 164 episodes of Talking Tom and Friends. Angahar. Started in 2014. That's fucked up. What the hell? They had to have been, like, just reusing lines and shit, right? Oh, yeah.

This is the same episode over and over again. Yeah. Time to go to the store. Oh, my God. I need to see. I just want to look at some, the top rated episodes here. I do feel like we're like, like, I mean, we're... Here's the top...

Country of origin, Cyprus. Top rated episode of Talking Tom and Friends. A Secret Worth Keeping, Part 3. Here's the synopsis. No more secrets. With things spiraling out of control at the tech conference, talking Angela realizes it might be time to come clean and reveal her secret. But now there's more at stake than just her heart.

Does this mean the end for Tom and Ben Enterprises? God, I fucking hope not, dude. How did they stretch this fucking show out this? It's crazy watching, like, um, like, even like animaniacs, which probably like our parents thought was like insanely, like, stupid. and like too fast pace when we were kids. Watching that and like how slow the jokes come and how little like insane sound effects there are

compared to like any kids show now. Yeah. I feel like we're like accelerating towards a like just TV shows are actually like for kids are just going to be like a farts. Just like a, yeah, just like a ball that just farts. Think about like what we fucking like watched on YouTube when we were like 11. Like the funniest thing you could ever see near 11 is like Windows movie maker. like Barney gets shot

and that's like that is a 30 second video that some kid made like learned Windows movie maker and made yeah we've just been progressing toward like all children's media has been progressing towards that it's just they don't want to like yeah just like they don't want to

kill you can't like kill Barney on TV what are you laughing at I just I've just been scrolling through episode synopsies for for talking Tom and friends This is Season 5, Episode 14. I'm just on the IMDB page for it, okay?

Season 5? It's called Alert Parents in Town. Here's the log line for this episode. Okay. The Friends have to teach the MC to act like a normal adult when his unhipped parents come to town. And they have like a multi-paragraph storyline summary. And then you scroll down and there's the trivia section. And the only thing there is it just says,

did you know, the MC is actually called Maurice Claremont. There's a review that says, Feel Slow, but not bad. Not the greatest, but overall, not bad either. Story follows MC trying to impress his parents as a businessman. Wow, dude, I feel like we've missed out on like a television gym. This is like Larry Sanders show. We have to watch all of these.

We're going to watch every episode of Talking, Tom. And Friends. And Friends. Yeah. You got to fucking remember his friends. Well, man, I feel like we should be the change we want to see in the world, you know? Like, we need to make a kid's cartoon now. Yeah?

Yeah, dude. What about, okay, let's think about, like, the apps we could exploit for that. Oh, yeah, because we would. True. Yeah, it does have to watch from an app. Yeah. Let me look at Apple. Grindr.

The Grindr logo. Nowadays, people would probably love that. We could maybe do, like, let's see here. What about my Verizon? What about garage band? Okay. I'll look through my apps, too. Or, what about, um...

Oh, here's period tracker. No. What about Signal? And it could be about a bunch of kids buying drugs. Oh, here we go. This is perfect. You can't see it. It's too bright.

What about, oh, here's actually an app on my phone that I was thinking could be good for this. And, you know, if you need more details about it, you could just ask me what it is. But I was thinking this, I'm looking at this app right now called Bofa. Wait, Bofa. What could that possibly be?

Hold on, I'm getting a call. Bank of America. Oh, I have that as well. Oh, Patrick's getting a call. What's this? Hello there. Merry Christmas. Did you just kidding?

Wait, wait, put me on the phone with him. Put me on the phone with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Santa, Santa, Santa, Santa. Have you been naughty? Yes. Noddy, really naughty, really bad. Oh, he's laughing at.

Fantastic. Fantastic. What are you? You're so stupid. I want a million dollars in a big gun. Say it again? Million dollars in a big, big gun. Big ass, big ass gun.

Oh, okay, got it. Oh, thanks, Sam. I know, I'll see you soon. Merry Christmas. I'll see you soon. Bye, Santa. Dude, that was fucking, like, the most exhilarating shit of my entire life. I just talked to a celebrity.

Yeah, he's calls me sometimes. Really? He's serious? Yeah, sometimes he calls me. Being on, like, a first date. Sorry, I'm getting a phone call. I have to FaceTime my best friend. Hi, Santa.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I've been good this year. Yeah, can I get a TV and a box of extra small condoms? Yeah, thank you so much. Oh, a TV and a box of extra small condoms. Yeah, okay. All right, see you. Just like, yeah, like as soon as she leaves, like, turning to the table next to you, that's my friend.

Yeah, that's Santa. That's my, yeah, you know. Oh, wait, wait, sorry, did you not get a FaceTime from Santa? That's kind of weird. You don't FaceTime him, huh? Oh, strange. I kind of thought everybody FaceTimed Santa, but I guess I knew everybody.

Yeah. And Waiter, can we get the check, please? But only for her. Let's see what other apps do I have here. When Talking Tom becomes a Supermodel, he loves being in the spotlight and getting lots of attention until the reality of being a male model hits home hard. Wow.

What is the reality of being a male model? Does he have to, like, make himself vomit or, something? Maybe. That'd be kind of funny. When Talking Angela tries to stop the landlord, I mean, okay, from chopping down a beloved tree, she wakes up to a swarm of angry butt-pinching bugs.

What? This show is all over the place. Talking Ginger tags along with his teacher on a real-life monster hunt. There's monsters, too? What the fuck? Talking. That talking Angela's in danger when an ancient mummy starts taking out her fellow musicians before a big concert.

A visit from Jeremy the Germs That nasty brother makes the reformed Fall back into his old bad guy Who the fuck is Jeremy the germ? Dude, we'd be so good at writing these are all in a row When talking Tom gets lost in space Talking Ben needs to find a way to get rid of his anti-tech bracelet So he can save his friend

That's fucking odd Dude, I mean we would write the best shit of all time Let's try. Let's write a Talking Tom episode. All right. Talking Tom smokes a cigarette. He smoked a cigarette and he made him cooler. Yeah. And...

Oh, he got some pussy. And... And... A beautiful family guy was there. Oh, my... Dude, that's like the best episode probably they've ever had. When Talking Tom was listening to his favorite music, he was having a fun time. That's my idea for one.

Okay. When Talking Tom... gets assassinated by the president, by the president, he finds the true meaning of being assassinated. That's all right. See, there's one in the, one fucking amazing golden idea. We can write a whole season and just pitch it as like a thing. I mean, we could do that right now.

I honestly, I might, you know, if this goes well, I could use these Talking Tom episodes in my S&L packet. Yeah, that would be fucking killer, dude. Yeah. I mean, we've been trying, let's see, we've been trying to get on SNL since, oh, I don't know, forever, you know? Trying to send me that to get an S&L packet that's just sketches about talking Tom. Every single one. Talking Tom, played by Kyle Moody.

I need to get my tech bracelet. And you get called up, dude. And then you get into the meeting with Lauren, he's like, so where's Tom? So, I was promised we would see talking Tom. That Tom was coming. Right, right. Let me see. So he's on my phone.

Yeah. Oh, hey, Lauren. Yeah, thanks for meeting with me. Oh, sorry. Do you mind if I take this? I'm getting a FaceTime from Santa. Yeah, hold on real quick. And the only time that Lauren doesn't like, he's like, wait, really?

Yeah, he drops the Dr. Evil thing. Wait, what though? Did you say Santa, like, cause? Hey, Santa, you're on the show. Just, can I talk to him? Like, right now, please? Can we please get him as a guest? Yeah, Santa's kind of like my version.

You know, you have like Paul Simon. Santa's like my Paul Simon kind of. Just like he's always around. He's always helping me out. He's doing me favors and shit. Yeah, you know, I help him. Do you guys like want him to host the show or something? Oh, my God.

Can you imagine, can you imagine how good of a guest Santa Claus would be on this show? And we could do his list. Yes, I think about this. Oh, you know. We could do. We could help him. I mean, file that idea away is all I'm going to do. We'd help him make the list and check it twice.

We talked to him a little earlier, so I don't, you know, I don't want to... Someone here does have his number. Yeah, so we... I did send him a letter or two, and I have been leaving out a plate of cookies for him on every holiday. I've left out a plate of cookies every night. Do dads always eat all the cookies? Do you think moms help too? I think moms eat the carrots

Yeah, moms eat the carrots And dads eat the cookies And the kids eat the presents You didn't leave out carrots for the reindeer as a kid? Fuck no, I was a fucking hippie, dude What are you talking about carrots? I left out carrots too Carrots and cookies

You guys are gay I still leave them out You eat the cookies Dude, you're getting cookies You're the reason that the reindeer are unhealthy You were leaving out so many cookies They say, what do you mean they can't eat the cookies? They're magic.

What are you, you fucking idiot, dude. They can't eat anything. They don't exist. You can't. What do you mean they don't exist? Shut the fuck up. They don't exist. I will, I will accept that Santa was made up, okay?

But the reindeer. But the reindeer are real. I heard them jingling on the roof when I was seven. The reindeer and the, you can't fake that. It's true. You can't fake the reindeer. Did you guys know anybody who believed in Santa way too long?

Yeah, me. Really? When did you stop leaving in Santa? I was like nine. I don't know how, yeah, I was probably in like... Actually, my brother probably was 10th grade when I found out, but I found out from a friend as opposed to like from my parents, which I don't know if that just means it's too late or not. I knew somebody whose family, like their entire family, would get really in on just

like selling Santa Claus until they were like 13. Yeah. And then, yeah, they used to like fucking, they would like leave mud tracks like of his boots all over the house they would have their grandpa like come sit outside of the window at night like dressed like santa like the whole fucking nine i remember i was talking about about santa with like uh when i was in elementary school with like a kid who was like a grade below me or something and um he told me like yeah i actually you know it's not santa who brings the presence it's actually jesus and i was like is that true and i went home and i told my mom like you know

i just found out some people actually believe that jesus brings the presence she's like what are you talking about. No, no. There's no person who thinks that. Nope. That's not like one of the options. This girl told me that like after she found out saying it wasn't real, she was like, yeah, pretty much like ruined my relationship with my parents for like 10 years. Yeah, I guess that makes sense. She's like lying about the world. Right. Like so explicitly for so long, making you like that, like cursing you to be the weird kid at school who's in like eighth grade and they're like, you know what? Are you going to go to 10? Sammy's party, like, we're going to have sex.

And she's like, oh, no, I'm busy writing my letter to Santa this year. I stopped believing in, like, the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny before I ever stopped believing in Santa. Like, it was always like, well, those ones are fake. Yeah, obviously, obviously those are fake. Who wants a tooth? Yeah, Santa, that guy's real. I mean, I get the presents.

Yeah, exactly. The tag says Santa. I mean, it's not. He wouldn't not write his name. Exactly. And he has different, way worse handwriting than my parents. Yeah, if it was my dad leaving the presence, he would write dad and then cross it out and then write Santa. Mm-hmm.

Because he got confused. It's hard to just write another person. It wouldn't work. Yeah, my dad's bad at impressions. He couldn't do that. It doesn't make any sense, dude. Do you think you, if you guys ever have kids, you think you'll tell him Santa's real? Yeah.

Oh, were you kidding me? I mean, at first, I would try and get rid of it pretty early, though. Six? I think that's like, yeah, I think you got to, I think it's got to be something. You got to set. See, but I want to lie to my kids about everything. Yeah. Yeah, so, like, I'd like to set that precedent pretty early.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, you could make up, that's the thing about Santa. You can make up whoever you want and tell them, you tell your kids that person. You have to go to sleep. Santa Claus is coming tonight, and dad is the mayor, so he has to go back to work at the mayor's office. He has to sign a bunch of bills, and he's going to make every drug legal.

And if Santa Claus sees you out of business. bed he'll kill you and i won't be home to protect you and i can't stop him you know because he's he's like basically one level above mayor it's like it's like president what to me he just said i was santa your dad was santa tell him what the fuck happened what happened hold the mic up to him say why aren't you santa anymore why aren't you santa any say he grew out of it yeah yeah We can't hear. Tell him he's the worst interviewee I've ever fucking seen.

They're saying you're the worst interviewee of all. You have to get closer to the mic. Yeah, imagine if you're watching a guy getting interviewed on the news and they're standing 20 feet away from the microphone. He's having a Guinness. He won't come over here. Tell him he's going to have my penis pretty soon if he keeps being. You're going to have Caleb's penis pretty soon. If he keeps being a bad interviewee.

Okay. What do you say? He said sure. No, he said sure. I don't believe you. No, he'd. He said, yes, I'm pleased about that. He said, oh, I would love to have a penis.

It's okay to have penis. He's on one now. Oh, man. He had that Guinness. He's fucking, he's gone. He's got to be on one penis, mine. Tell him he's going to sit on my wiener. Just tell him, dude.

Will you just tell your dad? I'm not telling him. He's going to sit on my damn weiner. He's going to sit on your wiener. He just heard that. That counts. I guess it does I guess you've tricked me

I guess he's going to sit on my wiener like the top of a fucking like the top falcon on a totem tell him and he's going to be making some face like tell him he's going to make he's going to make the weiner disappear like a wizard say that tell me he's going to hang off my wiener like a meat hook

I'm not going to say that tell him please dude this is it's making they said that you're going to hang on their penis like a meat hook. I said weiner. He said,

he said, you're gonna hang on his weiner. Yeah. Yeah, like a... Say the thing about the wizard. Say the thing about the... I'm not going to say

this fucking thing about the wizard. Tell him he's a little piggy and he likes it. I'm not going to... No. Come on. Tell him... I'm not telling my dad.

I'm not telling my dad. You want to have a little piggy? I'm not saying that. Why? No, I had too much respect for my father. Father, I will not tell him he's going to eat your slop like a pig. Tell him he's going to hang like a clothesline off this penis.

No. You're going to look like a damn t-shirt hanging off this thing. Tell him, tell him I'm going to put my round peck in his square hole. He left the room, but he said, yummy, yummy. Tell him he's going to use my dong like a diving board. And tell him that he's bad to play wipeout with this. Tell him I got a USB and I'm going to upload some data into his womb. He had his Guinness and he left.

Tell him he's about to fucking. He's gone. I can't tell him anything else. Go find him. No, I don't care about where he is. Tell him, okay. But, okay, one more thing. One more thing.

Tell him that when he gets over to my house pretty soon, he's going to walk up to my weener wearing big tall boots and cherry pie will be playing. And he's going to do an insane flagpole, fly around, bus it down low for everybody in the club. He's left the building. He's gone. Tell him, just when he comes back, just whenever you see him next, tell him that. that we're going to do a piggyback like you see in a grown-up movie. Tell him he's going to hang ten on my thin wiener.

Yeah, tell him we're going to do something that looks like tetherball. Come on. Just tell him. This is my father. This is my father you're talking of two. Okay, I'm sorry. Tell him that we're just going to play tetherball. I'll tell him.

Tell him, okay, will you tell him that he's going to sit on my wiener like it's a throne, but he's actually going to be sitting on my balls like they're the bottom of the throne, and then the wiener will be like the back of it, and he's going to sit on it. And I guess my pubes will be the arms of the chair, too. Tell him I'm going to play Unblock Me with his butthole till I get a clear path inside. Tell him he's going to kiss it like he's meeting a dog. I'm going to be swiping different like interlocking pieces of poop away

until, you know, there's a space I can climb in. I'm going to be clearing lines of Duky like Tetris up in your dad's fucking shitter. And then I get my, my, my long straight. piece is going to do a triple tetris. He's going to slide it into his duchy tetris. I'm going to T-spin. Just tell him I'm going to T-spin in. Just say that. You don't have to say anything else. That's all you have to tell him. Is that so hard? I'm going to T-spin it to his asshole and I'm going to spit out a drop of come out of there.

That's it. Okay? Nothing else. Just tell him. Let me talk about something different. Yeah, we'll talk about how your dad's going to play dig-dug in my thick rug. Just tell him that. Downstairs. Just tell him that, dude. Oh, my God. Just tell him that. Just tell him that. Tell him, I got the, I got the big dot from Pac-Man, and I'm feeling hungry. That's right. Tell him he can shoot some ghosts in my mouth, because I'm the hungry Pac-Man.

And I'd be Mrs. Pac-Man if he likes it. Come on. This is my father. Oh, so somebody can't even, like, talk to their dad? That's sad as fuck. Yeah, I mean, come on. This guy can't even be honest with his dad, you know, and say, listen, my brother, Caleb, his weaner is the hungry, hungry hippo, and your balls are the only food he's ever running. I'm your brother now

Tell him, hey, tell you're my brother now That makes this whole, that makes the past two minutes Just the conversation, very fucking weird Listen, okay, just quiet for a second And just tell him the next time you see him That I have the plug and play joystick And we're going to play pole position Just tell him

Please tell him that he's Homer and my wiener is Bart You better start wringing that neck Yeah, exactly. Please? Yeah Tell it, tell him, just tell him this. This is what I get. Tell them, just tell them when, just tell them I said this, okay, just tell them, just tell them, just tell them that I'm at home.

Just tell them that I said, when you got a Peter like Griffin, everything looks like a chicken. Tell them it's about bedtime and he needs to close his eyes and brush his teeth. Please. Just please, dude. It's because I'm home now and you guys are mad, you have separation anxiety. And you're latching out at me. I'm not lashing out of you. Caleb's lashing out at my dad because he's jealous.

I'm going to be latching on. I'm going to be latching on to him. I'm going to be lashing like mini mouse when I seduced your dad. Ding, ding, ding, ding. You better not. Ding, ding, ding. You better not seduce my dad. He loves my mom.

He's about to love my bomb. I thought I call my fucking cock, dude. Call it a bomb. Yeah, because it's round and it has a wick. Yep. That's right. Yeah, it does. So what?

Your dad's about to like this fuse. I got a burning bomb for your daddy. He's about to see me explode. My dad's not going to watch you explode. Will you just tell him just like a single time and one of our weeners to play Ren and Stimpy? Can you... God.

Can you stop saying this? I just want to sweep around inside his minds, you know? That's right. Yeah. That's fucking right, dude. Until I hit the mother load. Tell him he has to do a hacking minigame on my wiener. It's just simple as that.

Just tell him, just tell him Deus X. You know, you don't have to go in any more details after that. You're not going to have a day of sex with him. Just say, just say like, just say like, Bioshock. Just go to him and say Bioshock infinite, and he'll understand where I'm going for. Tell him my metal here is solid, and he better not be seen by my tower. I can't even participate in this. It's about my own father.

Tell him, he's about to rim me till I go up in the sky. What? That's right. I'm going to be all over his elder scroll. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Tell him, and we ain't stopping because I got more wind.

That's right. And when he's done, that bus going to be oblivion. Tell him, is that fucking simple, dude? Tell him, I hope I don't fall out his new A. Yeah, tell him, I hope I'm going to have sex with him. Yeah, just all that shit. All right. Bye, guys.

Bye.