Podcrushed - Brian Baumgartner

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

This week Brian Baumgartner (The Office) stops by and offers some theories on why The Office is the most streamed comedy in history, and also opens up about a traumatic medical procedure in middle school that altered the course of his life.  Follow Podcrushed on socials! InstagramTwitterTiktokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I was sitting there on set going, God, I know this is different. I know that there's no laugh track and the camera's moving around. But if people can get past that, we're changing television. This is Pod Crushed. The podcast that takes the sting out of rejection, one crushing middle school. story at a time. And where guests share their teenage memories, both meaningful and mortifying. And we're your hosts. I'm Nava, a former middle school director. I'm Sophie, a former fifth

grade teacher. And I'm Penn, a middle school dropout. Nava, how was your week? This week's been really nice. I have family in town and spending time with my extended family. But I wanted to tell just a little story. I was playing with my dog and I had my phone and he got really upset and he tried to kick my phone out of my hand and I was just thinking about how are dogs affected by human beings I'm sorry no no all ears everybody's looking at me like what the hell

no I want to hear please tell us about what your dog thinks all ears big droopy ears big velvety how your poor dog is suffering because of your social no but I'm going to say that human beings we're so addicted to our technology and there are studies coming out about how it affects like children

and human relationships but how does it affect relationships with pets I have been thinking I'd like to do a study on who cares Obviously not Penn Who hates a dog Let's continue to remind you all We just lost our Purina sponsorship

Thank you Penn Oh we definitely did What about you so how was your week? My week was great I've had family in town as well And I got to hang out with my nieces Yeah and it was like their first time hanging out with each other as like proper toddlers

not as infants, so it was really cute to just see their little relationships unfold. So sweet. You guys in your families. So sweet. How's your week, Ben? How's your family? What's happening right now with our toddler

is that he's really starting to string words and sentences together. What he did over the weekend is he stood in the bathroom. I watched him as he just stood in the bathroom. And he didn't quite know I was there. I was watching. And he's naked, by the way. It just helps add to the comedy of it.

There's a little booty out there. And he's just like, Looking at everything and he's going, my sink, my towel. He's like going, he's scanning the room and naming every single thing he saw and kind of like testing himself. Like, how many things do I know? What makes up my world? And there was just such a sweet, like, inquisitive joy to it. I was going to say your two and a half year old is actually really advanced because over the weekend you were texting us and you were so excited texting us that we thought he hacked your phone.

Yeah. You're like, there's no way, this is it. Emogies. I was talking about content. What I was saying, I was like, all the types of content that we should be posting. And you guys are like, there's no way. This is pen. There's no way.

Today's guest is Brian Baumgartner, the beloved actor and podcaster, who played the bumbling accountant Kevin Malone on The Office. Nope. It's not Ashton Coutcher. It's Kevin Malone. Equally handsome, equally smart. What? An awesome party.

The best wedding I've ever been to. I got six numbers. One more would have been a complete telephone number. Me mechanic, not speak English, but he know what me mean when me say car no go, and we best friends. So me think, why waste time say lot word when few word do trick? Beyond his acting work, Brian has carved out a space in the podcasting world

with his shows an oral history of the office, which my co-hosts here truly, truly love, The Office Deep Dive, and now off the beat with Brian Baumgardner. Actually, I did an episode with him too, so when it's out, you can check it out. My conversation today here touched on a number of topics, including a life-altering injury Brian had in middle school.

He actually, in a way, he dug in more than I can remember a guest digging in about this time in life. He was a fount. He's the coolest. You're not going to want to miss this episode, so stick around. Does anyone else ever get that nagging feeling that their dog might be bored?

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I have to confess that he's never had anything like it and he cannot get enough. So he's a lambie laugh guy. Keep mealtime exciting with nom-num available at your local pet smart store or at Chewy. Learn more at trynom.com slash podcrushed, spelled try n-o-m.com slash podcrushed. Why do we do what we do? What makes life meaningful? My name is Elise Lunan, and I'm the author of On Our Best Behavior and the host of the podcast, Pulling the Thread. I'm pulling the thread. I explore life's big questions with thought leaders who help us better understand ourselves, others, and the world around us. I hope these conversations bring you moments of resonance,

hope, and growth. Listen to Pulling the Thread from Lemonada Media, wherever you get your podcasts. Brian, I have to say that actually you're partially responsible for this podcast because I was not a podcast listener and I was like weirdly like, like hubris, like pompously proud of it. I was like, oh, I'm the only millennial who doesn't listen to podcast like an idiot. But Amy Schumer started a podcast and I really liked her. So I started to listen. And then you started a podcast called The Oral History of the Office, an oral history of the office. And it to date is my favorite podcast that I've ever listened to and I became addicted.

and I was like dying for the next episodes to come out. And during that time is also when I was like, all right, I guess podcasting, like there's something to it. And then very shortly after came up with this show idea. But I just want to give you kudos. I truly consider it, like, the best podcast I've ever listened to. I thought it was masterfully done. If she listened to this show, it might be a different.

This is my favorite podcast, but that's my second favorite. Thank you so much. That was truly a labor of love for me. And, you know, it was so much work. We did over a hundred and something hours of interviews for that to essentially only produce eight hours. That's why it's so good. Everyone should listen. That's a feat of journalism then.

I mean, that's completely different from your average podcast. No, it was. I mean, it really well. I joked. I mean, I went back to Scranton for the first time in seven years. and talk to the people there. And for me, it was about why. Why is this happening, truly?

Like, what is it about the show? Why are people watching it now when maybe they weren't before? Why are kids, young people watching the show who we weren't making it for? Like, why is it resonating with them? And so, one, it was that curiosity. And two, me going to a few of the key stakeholders and saying, will you talk to me and will you support this? And everybody to a man slash woman said yes.

And that's how we got all the hours, all the time, all the insights from, you know, not just Steve Correll and John Crosinski and Jenna Fisher or whoever, but to, you know, Kevin Riley, who was the head of NBC at the time, Ricky Jervais and Stephen Merchant, who started the British version. And, you know, it was only having that whole collection of voices that was going to make it something special. And to wrap up, thanking you for your compliment, that it is, for me, certainly, including everything I've done, one of the thing I'm most proud of work-wise. I will echo now that it's one of my favorite podcasts, too. I remember when my husband, David and I, who you met earlier on the call, he's a producer on the show.

When we were listening to that podcast, we would like arrive somewhere. We would listen to it in the car together and we would arrive somewhere and we just wouldn't get out of the car. We would just sit and keep listening until the episode is over. That's beautiful. Couldn't stop it. But one thing you said in another interview was how the characters were really multifaceted. And that's what made them so relatable. And you talked about your character, Kevin, not just being kind of like, you know, messy and incompetent,

but actually them being like in this incredible band or you know being always wearing a suit and always coming to work really put together right and that those little idiosyncrasies are what made the characters so believable so relatable and lovable and made the office so great or one of the things that's made the office so great yeah there's an idea in art, television, film, or whatever, that you have to make, you have to make the show or the characters universal, right? That the more universal it is,

the more everyone will understand who these characters are and be able to relate to them and obviously then consume this piece of art. But I think what I have found now to be true is that that is, that the opposite is actually true. That the more specific the environment, the characters are, actually that is what makes them more universal. So not the general, but the specific. And I'll give an example. You know, Dwight Shrewt might be, to me, one of the greatest,

characters created for television. And why is that? Well, he is a Trans-Zam-driving, beat farmer who likes anime and is a volunteer sheriff's deputy who likes hard, heavy metal rock music, but is kind of a nerd. Like, all of these things don't make sense.

They don't make sense. Right? ID badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat up my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged? And I think that that specificity, and by the way, that it's not Middle America or northeastern America.

It's Scranton, Pennsylvania. that the place is real, that it's grounded in something. You know, one of the reasons that I think now that the show doesn't come off as dated is what I always say to people is, well, you can't watch a documentary about the 70s and call it dated. It just is that. It's the 70s or the 60s or the 80. Yeah, it's not trying to be timeless.

Yeah, it's not trying to be timeless. It is in this time. It is in this place. This is what the phones are. this is what, you know, the wardrobe is, the clothes are, whatever. It's about that specificity. I think that's a huge thing about it. But, you know, more than all of that, I think that, you know,

the number of people that come up and say to me, I watch the show every night before I go to bed, the show brings me comfort. That word comes up all of the time. Comfort. It makes me feel. comfort when something bad is happening or whatever. Well, the last line of the show is Pam basically saying,

you know, why did they come up with a documentary about some paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania? Well, it's beauty and ordinary things. Isn't that kind of the point? And I think that the show celebrates that. That's why the comfort, that's why. people feel comfort because it's about I am the absolute I can succeed at making chili. That's what I'm, that's probably the thing I do best. And that that thing, even though on that day it doesn't work out so well for Kevin,

that celebration of that small thing of ordinary people who have small victories, whether it be in love or in business or in life, like that it is celebrated and as horrible as Michael Scott can be and as terrible and inappropriate as he can make, ultimately he loves all of, it's very loving the show and the collection of people who are there is very loving. And I think, you know, ultimately that, I hope, I think, I know that that's why it brings people comfort and why people go back and want to watch it again and again. Yeah.

Just while we're on the topic of the office, could you share something maybe that you haven't shared before or that is just something fun to share about your process of getting cast as Kevin and something that you sort of remember about playing that character who's so memorable to so many people? Um, that I haven't shared. It doesn't have to be an excuse. It doesn't have to be. Something embarrassing. Okay, here's something I've never, never fully said before. because I think it does make me seem really, really stupid and naive and this part does, is really lucky.

I operated from a sense of ignorance and arrogance when it came to the show because I assumed it was going to run as long as it did. So you're a genius. Yeah. see how I did that I call myself let's end it here I think we end on top

no actually I really want to know why well again and I'm serious I I was new I mean I've said this

47,000 times you know I was working in the theater and that's where I thought my life was going to be and decided to move to Los Angeles and, you know, give it the old college try. And I was only in Los Angeles for a couple of months before I met Greg Daniels and Ben Silverman and the folks on the office and that started. So when I say ignorance, I'm actually not, it's not a joke. Like I didn't know enough to realize how rare that this is.

it was at the time. So part of it was ignorance, but I will say this. I believed so strongly in what we were doing. And the information, you know, what everyone was saying at the time, I talked to Kevin Rom, who I ended up doing this project with at the same time, who apologized to me recently, publicly, because he scoffed at me and made fun of me and felt sorry for me because I,

just gotten cast on this American reboot of the office and what a miserable like career ending journey this was going to be and but I never felt that way I all I all I truly always believed it and even from the second episode that we shot which was Diversity Day incredible one of the best episodes of television. I was sitting there on set going, God, I know this is different. I know that there's no laugh track and the camera's moving around. But if people can get past that, we're changing television. I saw it truly.

I'm not joking. I saw it truly then. That what we were doing was people didn't talk about race. on network television at that time or gender inequality or sexuality or, you know, sexual harassment, health care in the workplace? I mean, all of these were like our first season of the half. We were talking about all of that stuff and nobody was talking about that. It was all just kind of drivel, like not important stuff, but to the, way that we were talking about it, I

just believed him. So yeah, there you go. I guess, I don't know, was that like a humble brag? I really don't even mean it like that. But I just, I saw... Yeah, you saw something. I saw something. Yeah. So I think it was, it was, I saw something and I was too, I was too young and

experienced to know that that kind of didn't matter. But I was just like willed it to be true. And bought a house. I thought, Really? So, yeah.

Like early on. I bought a house after the first six episodes. Oh, so you kind of did. Wow. It was like a, it was, I don't want to say a gamble, but I'm, but it was sort of like. It was. Right. I am a gambler.

It was. It was. I am a gambler. But I never, but I, but I would, but I get, but again, a kind of a dumb, naive gambler. Like I didn't, the idea that it wasn't going to work out kind of wasn't. Yeah. Can I ask, do you feel like anybody else? saw it at the same time was there a buzz or was it maybe more everybody was a little bit more just kind of to themselves about it

I know I got a lot of people saying I like rain saying you know he didn't know you know we did the first six episodes and then the second season they actually only ordered six episodes which does not happen like you did like most even producers would just say, you know, F off, I'm not just doing six. Back then, it was, like, pony up. And so we came back in the summer and shot the six and finished those six. So it would have been the first six episodes of season two before any of them had started airing. And we cleaned out our trailers.

Angela Kenzie told me, you know, she took her name off of the trailer, like, as a momento. because, you know, it wasn't going to happen. And I remember sitting in Steve Carell's trailer with Steve and Rain Wilson and myself, and Steve sang the words, at least we got to do 12. At least we got to do 12. Because at that point, we all believed in what we were doing.

It just, I think, felt like... What was going to happen? We liked what we were doing, Like nobody else did. So. Wow. Stick around. We'll be right back.

All right. So let's just real talk, as they say for a second. That's a little bit of an aged thing to say now. That dates me, doesn't it? But no, real talk. How important is your health to you? You know, on like a one to ten? And I don't mean in the sense of vanity.

I mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well, right? you want to be less stressed, you don't want it as sick. When you have responsibilities, I know myself, I'm a householder, I have two children and two more on the way, a spouse, a pet, you know, a job that sometimes has its demands. So I really want to feel like when I'm not getting the sleep and I'm not getting nutrition, when my eating's down, I want to know that I'm being held down some other way physically.

You know, my family holds me down emotionally, spiritually, but I need something to hold me down physically, right? And so, honestly, I turned to symbiotica, these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious. And I'm telling you, even before I started doing ads for these guys, it was a product that I really, really liked and enjoyed and could see the differences with. The three that I use, I use the, what is it called, liposomal vitamin C, and it tastes delicious, like really, really good. comes out in the packet you put it right in your mouth some people don't do that i do it i think it tastes great i use the liposomal glutathione as well in the morning um really good for gut health and although i don't need it you know anti-aging um and then i also use the magnesium l3 and eight

which is really good for for i think mood and stress i sometimes use it in the morning sometimes use it at night all three of these things taste incredible um honestly you you don't even need to mix it with water. And yeah, I just couldn't recommend them highly enough. Do you want to try them out? Go to symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. That's symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. The first few weeks of school are in the books, and now's the time to keep that momentum going.

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And I called myself now a straddler. I didn't have a group. I straddled groups, but I straddled groups, I think, pretty effectively. I wasn't a jock, and I certainly wasn't a theater kid. I was smart enough, but wasn't in the super smart group. And that eighth grade year, I was the president of my class. So I guess I was pretty popular, but it was more, my sense now is that it would have been, they were like, oh, he won.

Like, everyone would have kind of been surprised. But I was a, I was a stradler and was just friends with a lot of different people. You were really into sports, but we also know that you did acting and that you were very committed to it. What got you into that sort of lane? I had from birth a little bit of an issue. If my knee was straight, my right foot was out, not quite at a 45 degree angle, but it wasn't straight, right? So your knee and your foot should be straight. Mine was not.

And so right around this age, I had an elective surgery, which was basically to go in and through surgery, they cut both bones on the lower part of my right leg. It's called the tibia and the fibula. And then they align the foot straight. They put in, you know, screws and bolts and all of that and get it all straightened up. Then they go back in a year later and they take that stuff out. That was the plan. Then my foot is straight. Then I could run faster and continue my, you know, career in sports.

But something happened when my leg was propped up post-surts. They put on a splint. It was basically a cast. A day or so had passed, and I said, I'm in pain. It hurts. And they were like, oh, okay. And they gave me some more morphine or whatever. Another day passed, I'm like, I'm in pain.

And eventually they decide they need to cut this splint off and find out what's going on there. and at the base of the cast it had burned through to my Achilles tendon I ended up a bunch of skin graft stuff I was in a wheelchair for a long period of time How long can I just ask? This is like 6th-ish grade in there The entire process of re-learning how to walk

and all of that I know was about a year But I was done a walker I had a cane then. Oh, my God. You know, it was like I kept, you know, crutch, you know, wheelchair to walker to crutches, to cane, to. And even at a certain point, they got some weird, because again, all I wanted to do is play baseball.

They got some weird special dispensation where I would bat and somebody would stand there and run for me. I know. Well, actually, that's kind of cool that they tried to figure out a way for you to still be able to play as much as you could. Or was it embarrassing? I don't remember it being embarrassing, but I think pretty quickly for me it was like, yeah, that dream is done. Yeah, that's very painful. Yeah, so I began to transition to being active in the theater.

Wow. I have so many questions, Brian. like how you were feeling emotionally, how your parents reacted. Did you guys want to sue the hospital? And just as an aside, I just looked this up to make sure it's accurate. I was just telling actually Sophie and her husband yesterday that I had read that the third leading cause of death in the U.S. is medical error. And it is.

It's like, wow, it's just like really frequently there are just errors that happen because it's human beings at the wheel and we make mistakes. You know, my parents and I are very close. I think I have brought it up just more. more in kind of a shit-stirer way in the past about like, so where is that settlement money from, you know, but my dad was a doctor. And so that was not, like, shit happens.

Like, was it somebody's fault? Was it, you know, his position to me has always been like, you know, look, nothing is ever guaranteed, you know, something happened. and that's the break. So, no, there was nothing, there were no positives, except my focus changed, if that's a positive.

Well, that, yeah, I'm interested in, like, when somebody's life path is so significantly affected in this way, and at that age, that's a moment of spiritual crisis, because you have to then, I mean, look, we all, when we're upset, we want to blame, we look for the source, you know, and it's like how far back can you go before you start to have

these really big questions of like, why, why, why, why? Like, why me? Why this happened to me? And then if it's influencing your life path, I feel like there's always a moment of reckoning where you're like, do I end up seeing this as a tragedy that took me from my dream? Or do I see it as like, is it this portal that opened up and allowed me to do what it is that I did do and allow me to be who I am now these are that's kind of black and white the reality is that I think we all feel so many ways about this stuff but it comes down to what I think is is very it's emotional psychological it's also spiritual like at that age where you um something that we often ask later in the interview but I think I'm just kind of interested in now what was your like kind of background spiritually

and how and how are you thinking about such a moment that I have to think was so emotional you know I mean yeah you know there is a specific scenario that always now I go back and think of at that time, which is we had a van. Not like a minivan. I don't even know if SUVs existed, right? But like, so like two captain's chairs, and then there was the back seat, and then there was like a, you know, like a sofa, but it folded down into a bed. Wow. And we would take trips in the summer, and we would take the van.

and that's where we'd go. And my parents had, in the very back, the luggage compartment, they made that a bed for me. But not like to go traveling, but like that's where I, because I couldn't, I don't think I, you know, I couldn't bend my leg for a long period of time or whatever. So it was like, there were just like blankets on the floor and that's where I was. And I have no idea. I have no idea.

I haven't talked about this, but whenever I think about back to that time, I think about the image of just the old doors open, you know, just like the two doors on each side opened up and me sitting there and one holiday season, to bring up the holidays, we're coming in the holiday season, us going to search for a Christmas tree. and me in the back of this fan with the door swung open and them bringing over Christmas trees for me to see how I could help to pick the tree. Is that so sad? I don't know. I've never spoken about that.

You will never find any interview. But that is where my brain go. Like, that's what I remember. I think for me, it only was much later, much later when I went to, when I went to dad and was like, where was the money for that? Like, that was kind of fucked up what happened, right? Like, how did that? Like, why did that not resolve itself in a more positive way for us? And it wasn't even like, at the time, it certainly wasn't like, well, I can't do this.

So now I'm going to do theater. It just sort of gradually became that. I mean, I think that there was a lot of disappointment in terms of feeling like because I was no longer going to be able to excel in sports that that part was done for me. But the theater for me was just something that I did and felt like I was good at, but I'm, you know, this is not something that I'm ever going to perceive.

And it was really until after my junior year of high school where that shifted very quickly and very dramatically. And that's, you know, that ended up being what I knew I wanted to do. I was wondering as you were talking about your rehab process and like sort of the steps you went through from wheelchair to walker to crutches to cane. Like what were your friendships like at that time? and what role did your friends play? You know, again, I was a stradler. So, I mean, I think like, I know that I was liked. I did have a story because my,

because the school that I went to ended in eighth grade, right? So there was that period between like six, seventh, and eighth grade where kids would leave and go to another school. And actually the school that I ended up going, going to for high school, hat was like actually K through 12. So some people that I ended up going to high school with, I was in elementary school and part of junior high together, and then they left. This one guy, this is years later, told me that he saw me show up on the campus at high

school as a new student. And he thought that Jesus had performed a miracle because I could walk. Like, there was clearly some subset of people that believed that I could not, that I was never going to walk again or something. Imagine that moment for that kid when he first sees you walking together. Like what he must have, it was like the rapture. That's what he's built his faith on. That was it.

That was even in high school, like his maturity and ability to say, to be that open and say that to me. At the time, I was like, this is great. This is crazy, right? But, yeah. You know, look, I had very good friends. Again, by the time I was in eighth grade, I was the president of the school or whatever.

So, again, that's more sort of going back and being like, well, clearly I was liked or whatever. Well, everyone thought you were a recipient of a miracle. So, I mean, so naturally, you were elected into a position of power. I got the pity vote. so hold on you you know i wasn't thinking of pity i was thinking of like you're you know you're like i am worthy of god's bounty transformation um so you mentioned you know clearly you were liked i'm wondering something that we always delve into is first crushes and first heartbreak because it you know

it ends up it doesn't matter who you are it leaves a mark and it it influences the way you see things you feel about things and i can imagine you might have some i don't know like it because because of how much you were going through physically in this period of time and maybe your first first heartbreak first crushes or later so just any recollection of those moments yeah i almost i literally almost just said her name i'm not going to say her name i'm not going to say her name but some people do some people do keep them keep them anonymous i've been first and last people are full of No, I almost said her first and last name, but I grew up in Atlanta, and I lived in a suburban neighborhood, and there was a woman who lived, or a girl, sorry, she was definitely a girl at the time, who lived right around the corner in my neighborhood and that went to my school. And that was definitely my first, my first crush.

How did you act around her when you realized that you liked her? I mean, I think it was really ceremonial. I mean, meaning that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Oh, wow. Whatever that meant. Yes. Which isn't much at that age. Yeah.

During this period, did you speak? Yeah. Because sometimes. No, frequently. Okay. No, that's true. I remember, I haven't thought about this. I remember speaking to even other women, girls.

I was a man after other women and I was her friends much more than her about our relationship. Oh, yeah. That's, by the way, that is typical. We are learning and remembering. Yes, that is for sure. And I mean, like, hours and hours. Oh, yeah. hours, talking to another probably better suited person for me to process what was the

intricacies of the relationship. Brian, that's my adult dating life. That continues to be. Is it? Is it? Oh, well. I like that you also say the intricacies because it's like, you know, it's effectively seeing, I don't know, it's like that moment did we almost have?

held hands. Unpacking. Endless unpacking. What did that mean? But I went on vacation. And again, this is partly why I don't bring up her name. She went to a swimming party and kissed someone else in the pool. So effectively your first heartbreak as well.

Yeah. How did you find out about it? Do you remember? Oh, yeah. I mean, I think we think it was literally someone else who was there. It was like, hey, guess what? yeah that it was yeah of course that was difficult yeah right i mean it's world shattering i think it's more than difficult it's actually like it's the most you the reason we're asking is of course

because we know that it's easy to laugh at off as trivial but when you're going through it i mean it's oh at the time it's it it actually you you often feel as though there can be no greater pain They can, you know, and it's betray it. And it is like, again, you know, we might say it's trivial. It feels like this great, great, great, great betrayal, you know. Yes. Well, I mean, it is. It feels like because it is.

Yes. My first heartbreak was like similar where I found out from other people at school that he had already started seeing someone else. And yeah, it sounds trivial. like you said, Penn, but I think one of the worst parts of it is even realizing that other people knew before you. Oh, yes. That humiliation is

really a lot. Yes. The fact that it was reported back and that other people knew and that I wasn't there and had been embarrassed. That was, I'm sure, a huge part of why it was difficult.

We ask everyone to share an embarrassing story. I mean, you just said this embarrassed you, but more like, I tripped in front of someone or if you have anything like that. That's a great amazing story. So, spending an extended period of time in a walker in junior high doesn't qualify.

It doesn't register. Sorry. You don't understand why that might be slightly awkward. But can we get into stuff that's painful here? Can we get into something that's actually... Panting and sweating, trying to get from one classroom to another as I'm making my way. on a walker.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah. I can't really exactly remember the timeline, but there was a period of time in between those two surgeries where I finally had recovered. And I was back playing sports and actually played basketball for my eighth grade team. And I had probably my most embarrassing public moment ever.

the other team is shooting free throws and I am lined up to get a rebound and on this particular occasion the person missed their free throw on the other team and I very aggressively grab the rebound and put it back up and in now if you're thinking about this

this is their back I was like yes and and I know. I actually, for once, seemed like I know something about sports. And I was like, I was like, wait, did I miss something? Yeah. No. No, Brian did. I put it back up and in.

Wow. And I don't know why. I mean, again, I was an athlete. Yeah, you knew what you were doing. I knew what I was to. Yeah, I was on the starting five of this particular eighth grade team or junior high, or middle school team or whatever. And there was just a brain thing.

I was thinking about the girl cheating on me or whatever. I don't know where my brain went in that moment, but yes. I'll show you how to play for the other team. Then, yeah, and then having to run, you know, on a basketball court, when you're running from one end to the other, it's a fairly exposing moment. Oh, yeah. And I have just scored two points for the opposite team. It's, uh...

And there's nowhere to hide. No. What do you do? You just... Oh, my gosh. Sorry, I don't know. I don't know how it happened. But I haven't thought about that in for so long.

You know, I'm not, I'm not athletic at all. And one of my nightmare scenarios is having to, like, play sports with people watching. And one time in college, a friend of mine, I'm going to shout out. him out. Reid Holman convinced me to play flag football because they were like down a player and they couldn't play unless someone played. And I was like, you don't want. Like really I'm so bad. He's like, no, you're good. You're good. Whatever. So I was on the field. I like could not get it together. Like just was really doing nothing. And then at one point I captured someone's flag and I was so excited and it was a member of our own team. It was like that was like my one move

the whole night and I was so embarrassed. But that was very consistent. That was not an inconsistent moment, that was like a proof of concept of who I was. So, Brian, do you have any actually embarrassing stories? We just want to dig deeper. Now tell us one from the side of the office. Yeah, is there anything you can remember with your parents? I don't know. I just think

like, when it was a specially painting? Brian, did you go to the same high school as Ed Helms? Yes. Yeah, that's wild. Did you know each other? Yeah. I went to Cornell. ever heard of it

I graduated in four years I never studied once I was drunk the whole time and I sang in the a cappella group here comes treble beer me what's that

hey me that water I always say beer me gets a laugh like a quarter of the time I graduated from anger management the same way I graduated from Cornell on time now I'm back got a second chance

and I'm not gonna blow it so look out Dunder Mifflin I mean, look out in a fun way, you know, not like, I'm going to hurt you. No, we were in plays together. Wow. Oh, my gosh. We were in plays together, and I could have showed you one, a photo that is a perfect example. So Ed was actually just one year behind me.

He is not who I dated. Yeah, I was going to say. Yeah, she's not who I dated. It'd be a better story, but all right. He knows her. Yeah. So our high school had a thing at some point of, you know, the gathering and alumni, something. Yeah.

And they had all these photos. And I stole one of these photos because a bunch of my friends who are still friends now and Ed are in this photo. So yes, that is true. In fact, on the office, there were two sets of us. Really? John Krasinski and B.J. Novak also went to the same high school. Wow. Wow.

But Ed and I were friends. Our parents were friends. Wow. And, you know, lived fairly close together. So you must have known, I mean, because he came onto the office later. Like you had been on for several seasons. So it wasn't like a surprise. Yeah, obviously you knew that he was coming on.

But what was that like to be? No, I didn't. We were doing, we called him talking heads, right? Which was the direct address kind of to the camera or to an interviewer right there. I was filming one of those. And suddenly out of the corner of my eye, again, because it's like summer school and everything's not locked down, I just see Ed Helms walk in behind the camera. And I'm like, my brain doesn't go to, why is Ed Helms from The Daily Show and an actor and comedian in New York City? Why is he walking there?

My brain just went to, why is Ed Helms my friend from high school here? Like, you know, is it a surprise party for me? Like, why is he, why is he, why is he, why is he here? Yeah. But obviously, he was incredibly talented and had, had a deal with NBC or Universal Studios, something. And yeah, he was, he had come to meet with Greg Daniels about joining the show. And so when we got back from that summer break, Um, he was, season three, he was, he was there.

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So he's a lamb-peelaf guy. Keep mealtime exciting with nom-num, available at your local pet smart store or at Chewy. Learn more at trynom.com slash podcrushed, spelled try-n-o-m.com slash podcrushed. If you could go back and you can have it just, fantasy meet with your with your younger self from those years 12 13 years old what would you say god it's so hard when you do everything perfect any advice or message to send backwards at time when your younger self is so just keep on trucking so fucking smart directed um Wow. I don't know. I probably would have

probably would have chosen to not get the surgery that I did. Maybe that. It may have started there. Wow. I don't know. I mean, it's funny because I just mentioned I've been doing a lot of colleges. And I think that they are wanting some kind of words of advice. I mean, I think that if there were something that has come out of my experience once I feel like I've full on changed careers, because I do look at it like the before and after, like moving to Los Angeles. You know, I was an actor. I was doing theater.

I was traveling around. But then when I moved to Los Angeles, it feels like everything changed. Penn and I were talking about this a little bit before. It really is a business and beginning to look at it, much more as a business and trying to find the art where you can. I think that what I would say is, because I think at the time I didn't realize how little control in this business in the arts that you have.

And I think that I would say is, begin taking control begin taking control wherever you can now and don't wait for opportunities I think that's what I would say that is so cool I love that thank you so much Brian

this has been great thank you guys so much this is a lot of fun I appreciate the humiliation that I've endured with you all today. Yeah, the refrain. Wow, I haven't thought about this.

Yeah. There's always a reason. We block things out. We block them out. Funny how life works. Today's listener-submitted story comes by way of a young man trying to woo a woman in a church.

Farting break shoulders. Take it away, Penn. Do you want to know, are you wondering what might be the coolest way to impress your crush? Take it to church? That was my go-to move. So here I am. Brand new girlfriend. We're at the church dance together, and I walk in a place like, like I own it, you know?

And that might be blasphemous. I guess God technically owns it, but I'm there waiting for the perfect moment to show off my sick dance moves and impress my little senorita. pals, my dudes, they're there, they're messing around, doing handstands as people do in church, showing off their limber limbs. So Mikey, he turns to me, Alex, yo, let's see what you got. And me? Well, I'm up for the challenge. Should I do a somersault? A backflip? I decide to start with something basic. Easy. A handstand. A church handstand. What could go wrong? So I cracked my knuckles. I take off my jacket, smile at my lady. Watch this, I say. And she's going to

be so impressed, I think. She's going to want me so badly after this move. I ponder, so I go for it. I give it everything I've got. And then, uh, then it happens. The silent killer attacks, only not so silent. Yeah, that's right. I cut the cheddar. I bottom burped. I let it rip between my cheeks before I can even form this beautiful, perfect handstand in church, a thing I've pulled off so seamlessly, in the past, I collapse because what I'm doing is I'm trying to avoid the humiliation of being caught farting mid-stand, so not only do

I fart while collapsing all eyes on me in church, but I fall so hard that I actually dislocate my shoulder. I had to finish out the school year all wrapped up, you know, cringing. Anytime, every time someone asked me how it happened, what can I say?

What I can say is that farting breaks shoulders. You can live listen to Brian Baumgartner's podcasts, including Off the Beat with Brian Baumgartner anywhere you find your podcasts. And you can keep up with him online at BB Baumgartner. Podcrushed

is hosted by Penn Badge Lee Navacavlin and Sophie Ansari. Our executive producer is Nora Richie from Stitcher. Our lead producer editor and composer is David Ansari. Our secondary editor is Sharaff and Twistle. This podcast is a ninth mode production. Be sure to subscribe to Podcushed. You can find us on Stitcher,

the Serious XM app, Spotify, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen. you'd like to submit a middle school story, go to podcrush.com and give us every detail. And while you're online, be sure to follow us on social. It's at Podcrush, spelled how it sounds. And our personals are at Them Badgley, at Nava, that's Nav with three ends, and at Scribble by Sophie. And we're out. See you next week. I don't know if you saw this, Brian. Someone on TikTok for Halloween dressed up as Kevin, your character, on the office. Yes. It was a young woman. She dressed up as you with, like,

like, you know, a pot of chili in this suit. Shocking. And she shaved her head for it. She shaved her head. Brian is shaking his head now. Yeah. I have seen. I don't know about her.

I have seen this. And in fact, there was a large convention, yeah, convention of office fans. And the winner of the costume contest was a boy who I would put at age eight or nine. He full on went in and shaved his head. And I had to make sure that the parents didn't make him do this. Yeah. And they promised it was, you know, this was his choice. He wanted to do it.

Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. Stitcher.