Podcrushed - Eiza González

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

Eiza González (3 Body Problem, The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, Baby Driver) sits down to talk about her early life riding motorcycles, the overnight fame she experienced on an Argentinian soap opera, and the realities of navigating her teen years in the shadow of her beloved father's passing. The light, the dark, and the in-between... Eiza goes there. You can catch her new film "Ash" -- a space-based horror thriller directed by electronic musician Flying Lotus -- in theaters now!    Follow Podcrushed on socials: Instagram TikTok XSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

And I've always been, you know, kind of a rebel and not in like the cool way, like a rebel. I mean, it sounds pretty cool. You were riding motorcycles at like six years old. So I don't know. I mean, fair. I know it didn't feel cool, but it probably looked pretty, pretty badass. I think if you guys say that I'm cool, I'll take it. Welcome to Pod Crushed. We're hosts. I'm Penn. I'm Nava. And I'm Sophie. And I think we would have been your middle school besties. I'm Simon Hill together in the dark.

Peeing our pants. I don't like it. But we're going to use it. Cut. Welcome to Pot. I got a little bit of, I got a little bit. I feel like I went into the red there. Did I blow out the, I should turn my input down.

Welcome. Welcome to Pod Crushed. Welcome. I am joined by only half of my co-ed. hosts today. That's right. Sophia, I'm sorry. Or no, I should have let the audience guess. Which co-host do you think I'm joined by if you're not watching video?

They probably would have guessed NAVA, the more industrious. But it's me. You're stuck with me. Yeah, and you know what? You really got through it too because you're sick. I could even tell just a little bit today. Oh my gosh. I am the sickest I've ever been, I think.

Really? Yeah, I was not sure I would make it. today but I'm I got through it and actually Asa was so lovely she was so talkative and told so many stories that she made it easy thank God yeah the moment I started doing research on her I was like oh this is this is going to be an easy one because she has I mean specifically starting at 12 she has a very rich very rich very rich life story so you know what you guys don't want to hear more of us speaking unless you do we can go for hours yeah the the way the blood drained from your face as you said that. So if I feel like...

But we probably won't, right? You could tell I was sick. At what point could you tell that I was sick? It was like halfway through. Oh, okay. No, no, no, no, no. It was halfway through. It was about halfway through. I could just, I was just like, oh, because you know, you're pretty peppy. Yeah. You are pretty peppy. And, um, and you didn't, you did, you just didn't have it today. No.

Parenting yesterday, there was a moment where I was in like the dark room. And I was with me on the bed. She's like trying to get. me to play. All I can muster is like holding up the book for her and I've memorized it by now so I'm reading it. So you just say yeah. Do you remember when I say I just I don't know why I remember this but there was something about I think I was sick and Boone was sick and you were like oh it must have been so hard and I was like actually just wait until you have to parent while you're sick and the child is not. Oh yeah. That is very that that's like a different thing because you're having to, yeah, there's just different stakes, you know?

Yeah. Different stakes. Anyway, enough about this. That's enough about us and parenthood. Let's go on to our very talented guest. Today we have the incomparable Asa Gonzalez, who you probably know from Netflix, from a net frix's three-body problem.

It was pretty big. It was pretty big. And coming from a big Netflix show, I think I know when a Netflix show is big. And the three-body problem was three-body big. All right? She's also been in major motion pictures like Baby Driver and franchises,

like Hobbs and Shaw, which is the Fast and Furious universe. Godzilla versus Kong. Her newest film is a real, interesting, strange science fiction horror film from incredible music producer, Flying Lotus. The film is called Ash. She plays a stranded and confused astronaut.

And I won't say anything else. Because if you start from the beginning, you're going to learn so much. It's a, it's a mysterious thriller, horror ride. Asa was a joy to talk to. You're going to love this one. Don't go anywhere. Does anyone else ever get that nagging feeling that their dog might be bored? And do you also feel like super guilty?

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Listen to Legacy Talk wherever you get your podcast, or watch us on YouTube. So 12 for you was, I mean, as far as we can tell, you've spoken emphatically and with a lot of vulnerability and strength about this time. Obviously your father passed. That's an enormous

I can't think of anything that could characterize and define a period of life more. So I just want to acknowledge that that we're aware. I would love to start with a snapshot of 12 year old Issa to get a sense of what

quote unquote normal life had been like, might have been like before the two massive pillars of like grief and acting took you in such a different direction. You know, I think about it now as in my 30s and I really have so much admiration for that little girl. I really feel like I'm so much more fragile now than I was then.

And I think about that 12 year old girl in that way because it was traumatizing. I mean, imagine my father passed 10 days after my birthday, like exactly 10 days. Yeah. And, you know, there's so many different ways to die. And there's no right or wrong. There's not one that hurts less than another. But they all have different impacts. And they sort of build you in a complete different way. People that, you know, have long lasting illnesses and what that causes to the people around them. Or sudden deaths, which is what happened to me. And what that does to the electricity of your brain. And especially as a non-developed brain, as a child, your brain as an adult never, it doesn't stop developing until you're like in your mid-20s. And so imagine you're in the middle of like building this tissue in your brain and you just get a shot of electricity and a drill into your brain. And I've been working a lot with Dr. Eamon who specializes in neuroscience. And I've been studying my brain quite a lot because in that people. period of my life, I just was obviously, especially this is like early 2000s. And so like 2001.

And it was all about you've got to go to therapy. And you were just thrown into therapy. And you're just not ready for therapy yet. You're not, you've not done grieving. My hormones are all over the place. I'm my arms longer than the other. I have no clue who I am. I got no sense of my body, who I am, my identity is completely lost and one big pillar of my life was my father and my identity was really tied to his identity. And so that was completely removed. And then I'm like crazy, insane human being. And I'm like, let's add to this fame and the industry and working insane amount of hours. And basically, when you're on these Stevie-shy, shows, you know, we've all experienced in a shape of form. You're exploded. You're not

sleeping. You're not resting. And I was on the go. I'm like, it was, I felt like Hannah Montana in that sense. I was like living two lives because I was really breathing, like deeply. I was deeply grieving. When I found this out that you not only had this, I mean, like just life-altering landscape shifting event of losing your father you yeah you then also found both a passion and then this sort of like what it sounds like as a coping mechanism or you know and I don't mean that in a negative way it's like everybody needs a coping mechanism and in fact career is often

one of the most famous ones people turn to you know so there's there's no judgment there but yeah like so you're clearly very conscious of it now what was your what was the where you saw it back then. I didn't see it at all. And it was so nuanced my experience because, first of all, my father passed in a motorcycle accident. And he slipped and broke his neck. And he was immediate and died.

And the hard part of that was, that was my biggest passion was motorcycles. And, yeah. Yeah. I was, I was trained since I was, I started really young. My father ran motorcycles professionally, yeah. I did not realize that. Yeah. I didn't know.

Yeah. Yeah. So my father and I's sort of bonding thing was adrenaline. And so I started with sport wheelers when I was little. And then I had a dirt bike. And then I started moving into sport bikes. And around that age, I was doing. This is like such a.

It's insane. It feels like such a curveball. I mean, you have so many facets. to your youth. Okay, I'm sorry. Keep going. I know. It's like really jarring when people are like, wait, what? Because I feel like it doesn't connect and there's like a disconnect of how people perceive me versus who I really am. And yeah, I was like, I was an adrenaline junkie. And so with my brother and my dad and I. And so the funny part is my mom was a horseback rider. And so my, my brother sort of skewed towards the horseback riding and I skewed into the running and

motorcycles and competing. And so he was training me to be a professional, like really like do it for living. Wow. And so when he died in the motorcycle, um, all the sudden, there was this confusion of the thing that I love the most, I now hated the most. And this resentment to something that was so, um, ingrained in me. And, and now I had to sort of take. it out of myself and think about my mother and not do it anymore for my mother's peace. And then thinking about my family members and simultaneously while finding a new passion. And I think that's how acting came in because the one passion died with my father. And there was kind of a whole left in there and a lot of energy and anxiety and fear and

lost of, loss of who I was. My identity was sort of lost. And while simultaneously transitioning into another identity, which is becoming a woman. And it was terrifying. It was really terrifying. And I found so much solace the moment that I came across acting, because I'd always been sort of creative, but I never really knew where. Like, I love painting. I paint. And I used to sketch quite a lot. I was really into anime when I was young. And so I'd do tons of anime. And I was always kind of quirky and weird, but I never thought of acting. It was more singing.

And then I was transferred after my father's passing to a different school just to kind of give me a different kind of reset. And I was in a really scholar, very, very harsh school, like very focused in education. It was asking for me. I wasn't mentally there. And I was coping with it too. So I was having a lot of like eating disorders. I was really dealing with it. I gained so much weight because I was so depressed and I was eating my feelings constantly.

So then I went into puberty. And so now I'm like puberty, I'm getting weight. I'm depressed. I'm dealing with it. It was wild. I don't know who I am. I don't have an identity. And I all of a sudden moved to this new school, and it was an English school, like British, and, you know, theater is a ginormous singing in English culture.

And so I started taking theater classes there. And that was it. That was the moment that it, like, clicked for me, and sort of all this dark, heavy things sort of went away, and happiness in the sun came out again for me. And I felt like I've sort of found, again, my foot. and who I was and and sort of my group of people too because I was always kind of awkward and I didn't do really well in school.

I was kind of anti-social and I was quite bullied when I was young because I was clearly artistic and I didn't fit into like the sports world and stuff like swimming or cheerleading or those types of things. I was into really strange stuff and I was heavily bullied

my entire elementary years. And then I went to this school where there was more artistic kids and then I started doing musical theater and I found my niche of people. I just like, oh, I found my crew and

there it started, but then I was thrown into sort of the second care of my life, which was overnight pain and grieving. You did this, sorry, I don't know the name of it.

It was called Lola. It was like a soap opera where I played this um I was like a like a Cinderella story and I was like the nanny to these orphaned family and there was like an older brother and a bunch of kids and I kind of fell in love with the brother and that was kind of the story and I sang and I toured and it was like a wide search because it was a pretty big soap opera in Argentina and they were remaking it in Mexico that the Argentinian soap opera was ginormous. It was one of the most successful shows ever been made in Latin America. And so the search, as you know, when they're like redoing gossip, girl, we're not, like,

it carries weight. So the title itself, so the search was pretty wide. And I'd been six months into dropping out of school. I dropped out of school. I convinced my mother to drop out of school. I heard this. So how did that happen? I brainwashed my mother.

I don't know how. she said in a very beautiful way I stayed in like I was a 12 year old very convinced I was like this is it this is my life calling and she says

that the day I find it hard to believe I think it's more her desire to believe that that I look so convinced about what I was doing like I was like this is my calling

I don't have to keep searching I just want to jump right into it but I think she really just saw me really happy and she'd seen a really sad kid for a very very long time And she was like, fuck it. If this is going to give my life, my kid a life again,

she just did it. I was, I look back at it and we talk about it quite a lot. And I'm like, why? How? Like, I would never let my kid drop out of school. You're crazy. I was 12. I was 12.

And she was like, let's drop out. And she said, you know, my mom is a really unconventional. Her life was quite unconventional. Do she, I think that really helped. But she said, you're going to take this very seriously. Like, if we're going to do this, you're going to study. You're going to study and you're going to really prepare. And I said, okay, that's what your father would have wanted.

He would have never wanted you to be an actress, but he would have wanted you to be disciplined about it. And I did, and I auditioned for this, like, acting school in Mexico. And you could only get there by auditioning. And it was like a dancing, you know, the typical dancing, singing, da, da, da, da. that and I got in and I was the youngest one in my generation. I was I was running by the time I got in I was like turning 14 and I got in the school and I was there for short of a year and this audition came around and I started auditioning and I didn't think anything of it and I booked it and I got it happened and it never stopped ever since. Wow. You know that's that's that is incredible and it's

weird how much it mirrors it's so specific and it mirrors my so I dropped out of school at 12 and moved to LA oh wow but then at 14 well just before my 14th birthday I tried to go to a month of high school and then got a role that made the scheduling difficult so then I actually dropped out of high school after about a month oh wow very similar yeah yeah yeah and and my you know

I've been reflecting on it a lot recently and talking I had to ask my mom in order to remember certain aspects of it and what i what i what you said about your mother resonates a lot because i i think she she had um convention just for whatever reason just never worked for her and and our family kind of collapsed under the uh the weight of it so you know taking an unconventional approach it just seemed sensible you know and for me as i was also like struggling at that time um a lot of sadness and anxiety and it was it was somehow this really crazy thing uh how did you feel when you were making those decisions like because i remember in my mind like it strangely doesn't it doesn't defer from

how i think about things now like and in a sense of the maturity yeah i agree no i fully feel like that kid still right in a way and it was just like quite pragmatic even though i think I hang out with 12-year-olds, and I mean, listen, 12-year-olds now are, like, a billion times smarter than all of us can find. I know, I know. I cannot believe it. Like, he's younger generations. And also, they're so fearless. Like, I mean, for us, my story found fearless because our generation wasn't really hererated to be that way.

So, like, where there's, like, the few that kind of popped up, like, that really had a, and it really takes a village in the sense of people surrounding you sort of supporting you, because you could want whatever you want. people around your and supporting. But I do think that now these generations are like so fearless and so confident about their decisions that I don't even feel that way now. Like I feel shockingly, as I started saying, way more insecure or doubtful now than I did then. And I guess it's ignorance is bliss. Like you could name it, whatever it is. But it is really shocking.

to think how I would think back then and with the lack of knowledge that I know now. And I think that's why I admire the most about how resilient I was or that we can be, right? Totally. Like just biologically, developmentally. Your pre-functional lobe, yeah. Yeah, you don't have that same inhibition. It's kind of like, like you were saying, ignorance is bliss. So, like, you don't know what you don't know.

You aren't thinking through the consequences in the way that you would. Yeah, you're stupid. You're making bad decisions. It is interesting. Like, how do you cultivate that now as an adult with the knowledge, with the inhibition? How do you still cultivate that same fearlessness? Well, because you start developing self-awareness, right, with age. That's sort of the most pivotal thing.

You become self-aware. Now you're self-aware, but in the process of becoming self-aware, you are sacrificing certain things. And part of the sacrifice is this sort of nonchalant, ballsy mentality where you're just like, whatever. And I really genuinely, in the past few years, try to really focus to sort of reconnect to that version of myself because you do become jaded with age. And I thought that would never happen.

I remember thinking even my mid-20s. When I was in the industry and I talked to people who are my age, now, there was a lot of jadedness that really was like, I was like, damn, you're Debbie Downer. And now I see myself and I catch myself sometimes being that. And I, and I hate it and I don't like it. And because I used to be, and I've always been, you know, kind of a rebel and not in like the cool way, like a rebel. I mean, it sounds pretty cool. You were riding motorcycles at like six years old. So I don't know. I mean, I know it didn't feel cool. but it probably looked pretty, pretty badass. I think if you guys say that I'm cool, I'll take it.

But at the time, you know, I wasn't cool because the girls that were cool were like, you know, going to Abercrombie and Stitch and buying like limited to. And I was just like out there and dirty in a motorcycle and like, ew. Like I was definitely not the conventional what it was at the time. And I really like think about kids a lot because, you know, that, does feel like the end of the world at the time. It does. It does. And it makes me really like empathetic and and I'm very emotional. I'm a very emotional. Like I'll see something and I'll cry. Like I cry for other people constantly. And I just wear my heart and my sleep quite a lot in that

sense. And so I think about like kids nowadays growing up in this world and it makes me really sad. It makes me really emotional because I feel like damn, I feel pressure by like social media and I see these things and it makes me insecure to the bone. I'm 30. I'm 35.

I'm 25. And I'm, and it just, I go, I could, I would break. I don't know if I could do it. I really, I admire these newer generations so much. Stick around. We'll be right back. All right. So let's just, let's just real talk, as they say for a second.

That's a little bit of an aged thing to say now. That dates me, doesn't it? But no, real talk. How important is your health to you? You know, on like a one to ten? And I don't mean the in the sense of vanity. I mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well, right? You want to be less stressed. You don't want to get sick. When you have responsibilities, I know myself, I'm a householder. I have two children and two more on the way, a spouse, a pet, you know, a job that sometimes has its demands. So I really want to feel like when I'm not getting the sleep and I'm not getting nutrition,

when my eating's down, I want to know that I'm being held down some other way physically. You know, my family holds me down emotionally, spiritually, but I need something to hold me down physically, right? And so honestly, I turn to symbiotica, these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious and I'm telling you even before I started doing ads for these guys it was a product that I really really liked and enjoyed and could see the differences with

the three that I use I use I use the what is it called liposomal vitamin C and it tastes delicious like really really good comes out in the packet you put it right in your mouth some people don't do that I do it I think it tastes great I use the liposomal glutathione as well in the morning really good for gut health and although I don't need it you know anti-aging

and then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8 which is really good for I think mood and stress I sometimes use it in the morning sometimes use it at night all three of these things taste incredible honestly you don't even need to mix it with water and yeah I just couldn't recommend them highly enough if you want to try them out go to symbiotica.com

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She usually comes with you on your press tours and the little clips I've seen. have been so sweet. And I'm curious now as a mom myself and having a close relationship with my mom, I think a lot about like what are the little things, like what are the best practices, what are the things that create that close relationship. And I'm curious if you can think looking back and pin down anything specific. Of course, there's so much, but are there any small things that you can think of? You know, my mother was, because my mom's from the border. And that, I don't know if that means anything in America, but in Mexico, if you're a woman who grew up in the border, you're like, baldy. You are, you're cut from a different scissor.

You are, you know, my mom grew up in a, you know, in a very heavy, like, narco city. It, like, really dire, roughs. She's one out of eight brothers and sisters, no money, zero money, shared a thing. three bedroom with a nine, ten family members. And she was sort of the only one that really got out. And when you have a month and she's self-made. And so my, the church of my mother, you know, the church of Glenda I call it, is a no bullshit zone. I am so grateful. When you're young and you grew up in the industry. And it's easy to become a monster because you're sort of a product.

So people want to keep the product happy so the product keep providing. And there's a lot of yes people around. And when you have a mother from Sonora where she's from, there's no yeses. There's no yes. It's a lot of harsh honesty, but with a lot of love. And so my mom was just always. sort of, I mean, what you see is what you get. And so, but at the same time, you know, my mom was my best friend.

I had conversations with her in a way that I really want to, like, hone on to throughout my life where this is a really funny story. I walked into them having sex. When I was like, probably nine or ten, I used to at night want to go and hang out with my parents. and, you know, when your kids want to sleep with you. And I used to do it quite a lot. And then my parents, it feels like a ginormous bed now.

I probably wasn't as big, but it was like a Cali King. And my dad was sort of by the door always. So I'd always go in and my dad would always kind of lift the bedding and let me hide under. And then like an hour later, my mom was like, to your bed. And I would walk out. So I'd do it for years. In one time I walked in having sex. and I was terrified.

I was like, shocked. I was like, I thought he was hurting her. I didn't know what it had happened. I thought he was hurting. And then he was hurting. And so I ran back to my room and covered myself. And, you know, I think that I kind of sort of understood, but I really didn't understand what it was.

And then the next day, my mom, my dad would have never had this conversation with me. You know, um, But my mom came in and I really, that moment is so ingrained in my brain because I think that's the place where my never-ending relationship with my mother started where she just sat down and like laid it on me. And I was like nine. She's like, sex is this, sex is that. This is, there was no like the babies. It was just like it's pleasurable. It's this.

It's that. I'm nine years old. And it was so. and so real. There was no, like, beating around the bush. And from there on, I built a relationship with my mother of a best friend. And so my mom knew my first time ever having sex. My mom notes every single time I've, like, had a relationship, had, you know, and then we get

to the point where, like, obviously become a woman and I'm in my 20s and 30s. And I just have never been shy around my mother. And I've always been able to have a real honest conversations. And that really helped me throughout my phase of being famous because I never tried drugs. I never did anything because I was, I felt so understood by my mother. I didn't need to escape. I think that it was in such pivotal moment of my life where I became a woman and I sort of started to discover nightlife, drug, alcohol abuse, whatever you could imagine, right?

sex and I always she would always have a really like I was talking to my best friend conversations no shang away from anything that I never felt like rebelling I never felt like breaking the law I never felt like pushing the boundaries um and she'd be like you want to try it like and I'd be like oh I don't really want to and then I would have conversations like the first time I saw someone do coke in my life I was pretty young and I was like at a party that I shouldn't have been and I came back to her and it was someone that she knew actually and I had this conversation with her

and she walked me through everything we googled it, she showed me what it was I was like 13 she said this is this drug this is what it does this is sort of the aftermath it could make you feel really good like that was always my conversation

with my mother so I don't know I don't know anything else that's all I've known because that's how I grew up I just know that that really worked for me And it really helped me to sort of, in a world of discombobulation and chaos of grief, work, dealing with public, you know, complete exposure, dealing with issues with my body, understanding my body, understanding my womanhood.

I had a ginormous death friend in the process. So I forever want to sort of follow that. The Church of Glenda, I call the Church of Glenda. I have one more question about Glenda. Yeah. I'm curious to know if after your father passed away, if there was anything that your mom did to sort of continue to cultivate your relationship with him, like any traditions or any, I don't know why that question came to me. It was really complicated for me. It was really complicated for me because I lost faith. We are very religious. I'm from Mexico. So you can imagine, like it's a very pivotal and poignant part of the culture. culture. You know, church every Sunday, praying every night, thanking God and saying grace before dinner. And I just lost complete faith. I just detested the church. I, I didn't believe in anything good because, you know, my dad was, and I, and, you know, a lot of people would think this, but my dad about their own parents, but my dad was a really good man. Like, like my mom says, like, I'm not even a horror of a man he was. It's like, he was a good father, like a good, like to the core, sweet, thoughtful, always thought of other people. He was like, Mother Mary, like, he cared about animals so much.

He cared about people so much. And I just couldn't connect the unfairness of him dying. I just, I just was like, from all the fucking shitty people in the world, him, like, it made me not believe. in anything bigger. I just was like, there's no way that there's something bigger than this because it's like the way that I feel when like children get sick. I just, that within itself makes me not believe in anything. And so I lost safe completely. And I had a real hard realization of, of my dynamic with my father. I wasn't able to cry for four years. Wow. Five years I didn't cry. at all and and I was just in complete and utter denial and simultaneously I had started my career

and I needed to cry a lot for work and it was really really really where I just like it was the hardest thing I've funny enough I've ever done in my life like reconnect it sort of something died in me and and I just completely removed myself from my father like I just couldn't it was so unbearable that I just sort of walked away completely. And so I'd have any of his stuff. I'd read anything. Um, nothing, zero. And, you know, it was quite, it was really, it was a really tough time, I think in that, in that sense, because I sort of, you know, I dove into work and my, my, my complete sense of, I went into fight or flight mode. I was in survival mode constantly, constantly, constantly and I couldn't look back and it comes with amazing stuff and horrible stuff like I

disconnected so much from my father but it allowed me to sort of create an identity of my own because so much of my identity was my father we were like this like my mom doesn't really exist before that because my mom was a breadwinner in the house so he would pick me up from school he would oh interesting he would do the homework with me he would take me to this so my relationship was like me and my dad and my mom did not exist. And my mom in some very profound way, he says that life has God, has a reason for that. And there was a reason why those 12 years of my life were completely devoted to him because I was never going to have him again.

And then she was going to have me for the rest of the life. And so he really, yeah, and she really sees it in a way. But I'm just, yeah, it was really challenging. And then I had my own personal sort of reconnection with him. And it was to me, I mean, really took me years. It took me years because I was, yeah, I escaped from it really badly. I really escaped from it. Yeah.

Thanks for sharing that. That's incredible. Yeah. That is so sweet. You're sweet. But yeah, it is really, it's fascinating. I don't think people talk a lot about, I think humans go through the most hard time and the most vulnerable time of their lives. Like life design is so fascinating to me because it gives the hardest moments of their lives and the most fragile moments of the lives.

I think children live the hardest things. If I compare and I speak to a lot of friends of mine or maybe it's in the industry, I don't know, but you compare like the sort of resilience that children have to have with the with the access of emotions that they have. and it's so much more complex that when an adult has to go through. And when you're an adult, you have a brain that fully functions to kind of deal with something. But somehow puberty happens in the hardest moment of your, like, development. And so that is the hardest. It's the birth of a human.

It's your identity. It's the birth of your identity happens there. That is who you're going to be for the rest of your life. It's crazy to think about. And so I always sort of, you know, I love Lauren, Aaron Paul's wife, who's in the movie with me. And she dedicates herself to kind of go, she has this amazing foundation that dedicates to help children in school and bullying. And that's where I actually connected with Aaron Paul for this movie before becoming friends is I was a fan of a Lauren's work. Because as a child that I went through a lot of bullying, I just, I've always wanted to be able to help in that space because I knew how that felt like.

And it was, it felt like life or death to me. It really did. It didn't, nothing right now feels life or death to me. In that time, it did. And it really makes me so emotional to think about it, too, because you don't have the knowledge, the emotional access to sort of navigate this. And, yeah, I've always sort of thought of the paradox of what that means, of the most tender moments of your life involve the most definitive moments of. your life. Yeah, it's so true. That's well said as well. And thank you for being so open and sharing so much about it. I feel like, you know, I know we only have you for 50 minutes or so.

I want to just be mindful of time and move now into your career. I know you're promoting Ash right now. So maybe we can just lead up to that a bit. So I want to talk about three body problem just a little yeah uh that that that must have i mean it must have been the biggest because that was i remember when i saw it i watched and i don't watch a lot of television i watched it with my stepson um i think when he was whenever it came out so it was two years ago a year and a half ago yeah so he was like he was like 14 or 15 um we both loved it in our own way and uh and uh like it's i i one of the things i kept reflecting on, apart from the intensely compelling mystery of it and really wanted to figure out what was going on, I just, you know, as a person who worked in television, I was like,

the freaking budget on this thing. Oh, I'm saying. I was like, where is this? What is this show? Why is it so? I know how much this costs. I am blown away. Yeah.

And so it must have been the biggest production you were a part. It would have been the biggest production. Anybody would have been a part of. Yeah. But you know what? It didn't feel that way, which is quite nice because it's interesting when you're part of those things. I think it puts a lot of pressure. Like I remember when I was like in Godzilla versus Kong, I was like, whoa, this, the pressure of this is jarring. I mean, it was like in your face, like the sense, the money. I was like, whoa. I had never been part of like a franchise on that extent. And somehow, of course, we knew that three body problem was that because obviously Dan and Dave were. coming from Game of Thrones and who for people that don't know are the showrunners and creators of Game of Friends and so are they for the three body problem. And I knew that it was, there was a lot of expectation, a lot of pressure on them. I knew, you know, there was a lot of pressure on us and a lot of pressure for Netflix to make this incredible show. And so at the

beginning it was it was jarring sort of the the sense of the how grandiose this was but once i do this thing where like once i get into whatever the character is i sort of forget about everything else i'm just so in the mental space of i don't want to i don't want to lose any minute or second that i have on set over thinking something that i'm going to look back and be like why was i'm thinking about something else when I should have been focused on the scene. And so, and then it really helped that they're amazing. They're like family to me. They're like my best friends.

They were really fun. They've been so supportive with me throughout my career. And I had a blast, but I really love the books. And the second and third season are the last two books. And if you thought that was looked like a lot of budget, they wait for this part. Because this is sort of, if people are familiar with the books, it sort of move. You know, the show starts in the Chinese Revolution, and it moves a billion years ahead of time. So we move a billion years as the show goes by.

You don't mean a billion as like a euphemism for a lot of time. You mean a billion years? Like, actually. Because it's all about, like, what's in the other world. And so, as we know, we leave it in the staircase project. And God knows what happens with the staircase project. But it's very interesting. So I'm very excited.

We're starting to shoot the second and third season soon. So very exciting. My husband and I notoriously cannot agree on anything to watch. But we both watched together and loved the three body problem. Oh, I'm glad you did. Well, if you liked the first season, then you will really like the second and third. Good, good. I can't wait.

Yeah, this source of here is pretty spectacular. I heard that you hesitated taking the role at first. What convinced you? A great body problem? Yeah. Yes, I didn't. I didn't hesitate for a second. I basically was terrified.

I have commitment issues. I have really bad commitment issues. And it was going to take a year of my life to go shoot that show. We shot 12 months. Wow. And it was, yeah, and it was, you know, the first season, I was like, not really happy with Augie. I didn't love her.

I was not really convinced and it really had real issues with her. But then somehow, weirdly, weirdly enough, I thought that was what caused me to do it because I sort of didn't agree with a lot of things. And I was like, maybe I just up to take a leap of faith and not everything that I know is what's right. And I want to take, And these are amazing Reuters.

And I like the way they work where, like, one season you hate someone, the next season you love someone. Then someone's a best person on earth. Then they kill them. And I just thought when they started pitching me sort of the broad idea of her journey, I was like, okay. I think I can do it. And it was tough for me. It was tough for me to like buckle down for 12 months and not because I love working. I mean, I'm if you look, I mean, I have.

Probably like five movies coming out this year because I were back to back. Yeah, I was going to say when we were looking, like, researching, I was, is she like one of the most prolific people we've interviewed? Like, so many projects. I'm just a hustler. I'm Mexican, honey. It's like, it's in my blood. I'm a hustler.

And, you know, I come from that school of soap opera. Like, you just overworked and overtired were there. And I kind of function my best in that space. I don't recommend it, but I, I definitely, and so I like it. And I just, I think I'm still in the state of I can't believe I get to do this. So I'm like, when I get like someone like, Guy Ritchie offering me my second or third movie, I'm like, how am I going to say, you know? Like, I guess I have to learn how to say no, maybe.

And I'm trying to exercise that now because it really moving towards where I am. It becomes, you know, doing the right job is way more meaningful than just doing a lot of jobs. But I was, you know, I've lived in the industry. when minorities weren't getting any opportunities. So once you've got an opportunity, you jumped into it. It's like there was a few roles for us a year, if there was any. And so I think that sort of lingered with me and I thought I had to keep working every time I had a job. And I'm not saying that I haven't chosen the right jobs.

I feel like I have. But my sense of sort of decision making has changed in the last few years that I feel way more comfortable owning who I am and that I deserve to be here. and that I can take up space. I used to think I didn't deserve it. And that, you know, I do think there's a sense of, if you look at the amount of work that some of, like, diverse actors do and the amount of, like, recognition or attention that they get is not similar. And they really, you really have to work 10 times more to be acknowledged sometimes.

And I don't look at it as a victim and this and I think, oh, I mean, I'm not saying it in that way. I'm just saying, I'm like, let's go. I'm game. You want me to work my ass off? I will do it. I will show up and I'll be prepared. And I sort of always had that hustler mentality.

But I'm getting older, so I got to slow down a bit more. 25, though, I thought. Yeah, yeah, 25, exactly. I'm so young. Listen, it really slows down in your late 20s. Yeah, I can't wait. I'm eager to get there. I so I heard.

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Ash. So I wasn't able to finish it, but I got far enough that I was like, what on earth is, or what on Earth? K-O-K-O-K-O-I-R-2, whatever. I mean, it's a really compelling premise. It's also for a lot of it, it's just you

and for a lot of it's just you and Aaron Paul. You know, just, I mean, tell us a bit about it, for especially for our listeners who don't know anything. Yeah, so Ash is it's so hard as you've seen. It's really hard to sort of pitch the movie without spoiling

or misdirect. It's not a sci-fi, right? It's not necessarily a sci-fi in the sense of you think of Interstellar as a sci-fi or Blade Runner as a sci-fi. It's a survival

slasher off-the-wall sci-fi for me. And I just, how this came about, is I was doing this movie at the time called the Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare with Guy Ritchie. And it was like so fun.

And it was about World War II. And it was a complete different premise. And I was doing sort of a very different role. And I was it chained for horror. And I told my team, if anything interesting comes around, I really want to like dive into horror. I feel like it's a very raw place for an actor to go. And by the way, I still think they don't get enough credit.

Because after I did this, movie i'm like holy cow this is like the the marathon of filming like it takes so much stamina and and energy and focus you're constantly with like your cortisol high and yeah your cortisol your adrenaline you really have to be constantly recalibrating yourself and i just remember reading the script and i had heard that erin paul has gotten it and Aaron is one of my best friends for like 10 years. And so I like grab my phone. And by the time I grabbed my phone, I had a message from Aaron. He'd like, I'd be read it. What do you think? I would love. And we've been wanting to work together. And I was like, I'm going to read it tonight. I'll tell you.

And so we were going back and forth. He was going to meet with Flying Lotus. I was going to meet with him as well. And once we met with Flying Lotus, you know, the script, the premise was interesting. Wait a second. I did not realize this is Flying Lotus. That makes so much sense. It makes so much more since now. Yes. Because also I haven't gotten the payoff of the end and there's clearly, because also the body horror stuff. Like I was like, this is

real specific. It is so flying Lotus. It's so flying Lotus. You made all the music and if people are familiar with Lionelotis, he's a music producer and a DJ and he's a perjee. He's incredibly smart. He's prolific. He's like a visionary. He also

visionary. He has this one record I can't I think it's called is it called You're Dead? I think so yes

where he first started I mean as far as I understand like first really putting this horror cinema spin into his music that might that may or may not be true

you may have done it way earlier it is it is and it has a bit of sci-fi in it too yeah it does and it has one of the best Kendrick verses

as a Kendrick fan it actually has seriously one of the best Kendra versus, I think. Yep. And he just was like, the way that you're speaking about him was the way that I sort of my counter with him

was. I just, I met with him and, you know, this is a small budget movie. I don't know what you think after watching it. We made it for like. So knowing, I have a good eye, like I could tell. I could, and not in a way that is bad.

No, but because you're an actor and you know. Yeah, I can tell. I'm not an actor and I couldn't tell. I couldn't know. When I heard it was an indie movie, I was like, what? And the thing is, these movies take creative point of view. Like, it's an independent film. You're going and you're taking a swing. It's a genre that has somehow sort of been made before, but in a different way. And it needs a strong point of view. It needs a strong creative point of view in a vision. And once we both sat with him, it was mind-boggling. He had everything. And, you know, we've met throughout our careers, directors, directors that really make it over the crossing lines of people that don't.

They have desire. You work with really good ones. You work with not such great ones. And I was just dope. I was like, wow. I was kind of having a conversation with a veteran that didn't realize he was a veteran. Like, he was already thinking about so many things that a director well experienced would have known. And not someone that this is like, they're actually, like, technically.

their first movie. I mean, he did Kuzzo, but this is like the first real movie. And I just like, this is a no-brainer. And whatever the outcome this is, this is going to be a cool movie. And wait until you get to the, because the payoff is pretty, pretty amazing. Yeah, I'm actually going to keep watching it, which with screeners for a podcast, let me tell you, I do not do. Yeah, you should. It's fun, you know, and you know what it isn't really exciting for me is that it's going to theaters because it is a movie made for theaters. I think horror is. one of the most fun genres to go see in movie theaters because it's a collective experience. You know, I remember the first, I remember I went to go watch Get Out in Times Square in New York City.

When I tell you, that was the best experience I've ever had of a film. I remember the people were screaming at the screen. People were like clawing other people on the chairs. It was so fun. It's just like an exhilarating experience. And I love hearing the gasps and movie theaters. I love. And it's so spectacularly beautiful that it just deserves it.

And so, yeah, it was a no-brainer. We did it. It's a crazy movie. It's off the wall. You know, Flying Lotus and I from the get-go immediately, I was like, you know what, this reminded me, because I was talking to him. And he's like, what do you think? I said, you know what this reminds me off?

And he's like, what? I'm like, silent now. He's like, it's you. You have to do this movie. You understand it. because it's like I played, I played video games growing up. I was really into Silent Hill and I played all the Silent Hills, like all of the Resident Eagles, but I was more.

Can I ask how old you were when you started playing them? I was really young because my brother was the one that started. So I started probably, wow, eight, nine. Wow. Yeah, wow. Those are scary. Scary. And I remember being like shivering with my brother, he would watch it.

And I'd still play and I'd be like, and he was such a bully. He would turn off all the lights in the room. And I'd be like, wow. Because mine started, my love started with Zelda. Oh, me too. You mean the Aquarena of Time? The Okina of Time and Majora's Mask.

Oh, those are the two of the best video games. The best video games of all time. I played Majora's Mask and Zelda, Okina of Time, probably 40 times. I still have my Nintendo 64. And I still connected to my house. I love it. And I don't think they ever did it.

as Zelda like that ever again after that, by the way. The visuals changed. The graphics changed. I didn't like it. I'm a 64, Zelda girl forever. Just the picture of you at 12 is building or like 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, you know, is building more and more as we get through this episode. I love it.

Now you're like, oh, I see the girl. I see it. Well, I'm also realize, so first of all, I know we're about to lose you. So, what we typically have is a final question, which is going back to 12. But I'm also realizing, Sophie, we didn't do our classic questions about a crush and an embarrassing story. Can you just very quickly, very quickly, if you have the time, tell us a quick story about either an embarrassing one or a crush, first crush.

Oh. You know, middle schoolish. If there's something that describes me in a nutshell as my actual first thing that I ever loved as a child, like, when I was a kid, and I was in love. I had two massive crushes. One was Jack Skellington. That was like my main man. And the other one was Jafar from Aladdin.

Oh, Jafar. Yeah. You liked Jafar? I do like that's a thing. I was in. Oh, man. I had like pingles in my body when I watch Aladdin. Like, and everyone would think and be Aladdin, but I wasn't.

I was like in love with Jafar. And I think that says a lot about. my mind. Wait, who's Jack Stellington? Is that from Nightmare Before Christmas? The Nightmare before Christmas. Wait, that's amazing.

Those were my questions, you guys. So you like a lanky, halfway evil. Skinny, bony man. Yeah. A bony dead man and an evil. Like, completely weird. Also creepy because he was really old. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Not the daddy issues coming through. Yeah. That's so funny. Well, that's forgivable. Okay, so our last question is if you could go back to 12-year-old Issa, what would you say or do? You know, I've thought of this a lot of times. And I think I, well, first of all, you know, a constant question that I get asked is like, would you change anything?

if you had the chance to change anything in a weird way i wouldn't i wouldn't because everything that i've gone through the really horrible stuff and the really amazing stuff that has happened in my life has really made me i feel very proud of who i am you know i really do it's taking a lot of work and it's taken a lot of pain and i wouldn't change like i would have it happened exactly all identical, the same way. I would change nothing. And I would just say, trust yourself more, be more confident in yourself. I really struggle with my confidence a lot. And I've done through it through many years. And from the little girl to now, and I just would remind myself, trust yourself, be confident in yourself. And I think that's

probably why I admire young young like boys and girls now like they're so confident and I feel like I always lack that I have earnesty but I lack confidence and you know I would just and I still remind myself to kind of think that way. Beautiful. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you guys. It was so fun. Yeah. Yeah, I really appreciate you making the time. Of course. Have a wonderful time and hopefully I get to meet you guys. in person. That'll be lovely. Yeah, that'd be great.

Thank you. Thank you, guys. Bye. You can watch Ash Now in theaters or on Prime Video, and you can follow Asa online at Asa Gonzalez. Podcrushed is hosted by Penn Badgley, Navacavalin, and Sophie Ansari. Our senior producer is David Ansari, and our editing is done by Clips Agency.

Special thanks to the folks at La Manada. And as always, you can listen to Pod Crush ad-free on Amazon music with your prime membership. Okay, that's all. Bye.