Podcrushed - Extra Credit: Your Stories (Quinn Hardy)

Episode Date: December 4, 2023

In a full circle moment, on this EXTRA CREDIT episode we connect with Quinn Hardy (@quinickle) — a content creator whose plea for Penn to "duet" him went viral last year. He talks all things bullying, social media infamy, and gets surprisingly philosophical.Follow Podcrushed on Socials: InstagramTikTokXSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

At the time, I was just chubbier than the other kids, and I remember specifically I was taking my shirt off for gym class, and one of the kids was like, if I looked like that, I'd never take my shirt off. Oh. Yeah. Not incredibly great. That's awful. That's like worse than throwing you in the dirt. Exactly.

It was horrible. But I learned that words have a very strong effect. The tongue really can impact the heart at the end of the day. Welcome to potcrushed. All right, the penultimate listener episode. Was it a little thrilling to say a word that starts with your name? A little thrilling, more than a little. More than a little.

More than a little. I've always liked that word. You know who else I've always liked? Panadjali. No, is our guest today, Quinn Nichols. That would suggest I've always known who he is. I've not always known who he is. Here's how I discovered who Quinn Nichols is.

My second tweet, my first... Not a tweet, but a TikTok. Oh, my goodness, yeah, TikTok. It was not an ex. Get with the program, Grandpa. It was on... Yeah, wow. That's great.

There's a meme. I like to... One of my favorite things to do is just describe memes to Penn instead of sending them to them. There's a meme with Drew Baramore and her never-been-kissed sort of get-up where she goes back to high school as a 25-year-old. So she's sitting in a classroom full of actual 17-year-olds.

And it says me going on TikTok, trying to learn the cool language. That's you right now. That's definitely. No, that would imply that I'm going. I don't even spend, I think that's you now. And then you just tell me about it. I'm the Luke Wilson character who's just like, so tell me about your experiences here on the old TikTok.

Let's get back to our guest. Our guest is actually quite big on TikTok. There was a time when he was bigger than me. I don't, that's a, hopefully you get my sense of humor there. Yeah, so I think after my first TikTok, he just posted this thing. Pen Badgley has a TikTok now. So I've made it my life's goal to make a video with Penn Badgley. Hey, Pen Badgely, it's me, Quinn Hardy.

Hello, Pen Badgley. Hello, Gossip Girl. And also you and also many other things, including your podcast, Penn Badgley. Please, please make a video with me. Van Vazili I chose to just engage with it it was weird

It was funny I did my own thing back And then that became a meme or something So then we were We were just sort of like You know what Let's have this guy in the show

Yeah I don't know Let's meet him It's uh yeah We actually We had a really lovely Conversation with Quinn We had no idea what to expect

Turns out that he experienced Some bullying growing up Unfortunately something that's Very relatable to a lot of our listeners and he also was, I think, more philosophical than we expected. So it was a really nice conversation. It went in a lot of different directions. So let's get on to it.

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Listen to Legacy Talk wherever you get your podcast or watch us on YouTube. Quinn, welcome to Pod Crush. Thank you so much for having me. This is sort of an unusual episode because the way we know you is through the TikTok that you made. I wonder for our audience who may not know you, if you can talk. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Yeah. I'm 22.

I'm from Florida. I went to the University of Florida and majored in advertising until I realized it was absolutely soul-crushing. And I dropped out and moved to California about eight months ago. Growing up, I never really met a lot of people that enjoyed social media and making silly little videos on their phone. And going to college, everyone's trying to be doctors and lawyers and all that loser stuff. So it was really cool coming out here And that's just always kind of been the person I've wanted to be Is my sister was a theater kid

My brother was super into anime And making like little cosplays and stuff And so that creative personality has always been there Throughout my family And I think I kind of let off with that when I was born So from the get-go I've always wanted to do stuff like this And I don't know To summarize, I like being creative

It's great So you know you've listened to Pod Crush you know sort of our entry point for every episode is thinking about middle school. So I want to ask you, Quinn, paint a picture of teenage tween-aged Quinn. Sort of what were you all about? Who did you hang out with? Just paint a picture. Imagine a little five-foot kind of chubby kid who had like a buzz cut because he thought it was cool.

Like, oh, you can almost see the scalp. It's really cool. I don't know. I used to think that was cool, too. Yeah. It's a phase. everyone is to go through for it. Yeah, exactly.

And so, yeah, he was just a little guy that constantly wanted to yell. And everybody was like, oh, let's stay like four feet away from that guy. Were you also like the class clown? Did you get a good response? No, not generally. It was very one-sided.

A few people chuckled at it, and I guess those were the people that ended up being my friends. But generally, I mean, when there's a kid screaming in the back of the class while the teacher's talking about rocks and geology, and you're like, what, like, stop, just go, be a little quieter. But I was kind of had that energy and, yeah.

Did you ever stop? No, not really. No, look at the TikTok. Yeah, if you've seen the TikTok, I just do it on the phone now. I do it in my apartment. So I'm trying to get a little more of a holistic picture of you as a kid or as a teen. And you described, you know, sitting at the back of the class, screaming. I think now that you've explained it a little bit more,

it's not so much you're just screaming, but you kind of like trying to connect by sharing the things that you cared about. And I want to know what were people's reactions to that? Did you have that sort of like metacognition? Like, oh, I'm not making friends. Or did you have enough people who were responding to it that you didn't feel that?

I wasn't exactly cognizant of that when it was happening. Metacognizant, sorry. Metacognizant. I wasn't, I wasn't aware, so I, you know, people would kind of turn the other way. And it kind of became aware when people started, like, vocally telling me. Like, I guess that's just bullying in that case, you know, people telling you, like, oh, what you're doing is annoying and, like, what you like is dumb. So, you know, stop doing that. So I wasn't aware of it at first, but then as time went on, people kind of made me aware of it almost.

I thought it worked for a while. And then, you know, I was sitting by myself. And I was like, maybe, you know, maybe this isn't going as well as I thought it would. Would you say you were bullied? Yes. Would you use that word? Absolutely. How did that happen?

How did that impact you? It was never really physical bullying. I mean, I wasn't being thrown into the dirt or being slapped or anything. But it was a lot of words. One of the main things, because I was chubby. I wasn't incredibly chubby. But at the time, I was just chubbier than the other kids. and I remember specifically

I was taking my shirt off for gym class and one of the kids was like, if I looked like that, I'd never take my shirt off. Oh. Not incredibly great. That's awful. That's like worse than throwing you in the dirt. Exactly.

It was horrible. But I learned that words have a very strong effect. You know, the tongue really can impact the heart at the end of the day. Do you think that your generation is, it feels like it is? I mean, keenly aware of that fact. Because, you know, we still have so many people of not quite my parents generation

but what's outside of what's a millennial what's after is it Gen X? I do feel like people just a bit older than us are still maybe the jury's still out on whether or not emotional violence or just verbal

violence is even a thing you know what I mean it feels to me like people your age are just keenly almost painfully sensitive to that to that that it is. I mean, it's wild that there's that saying that we all internalized growing up. Like, Six and Sto's May Break My Bones, but words can never hurt me.

It's truly the opposite. And from what I've seen for a long time, you know, when you're getting punched, there's a bruise that's left, you know. When someone goes like, oh, you look dumb or you look ugly or whatever, they're just being rude to you. It's all internalized. People don't see that when you're walking by on the street. That's not something that they're aware of. These feelings about your body and stuff, which, by the way, I can totally relate to. I was also, I was chubby and it's, sometimes it sounds silly to say something like that, like, to relate in that way.

But it was painfully, painfully sensitive. Yeah, I mean, the things, the things that kids will say about your body, if they can direct anything, any of their eye are at your body, it's just because that's what you cannot change. Yeah. And it's the first thing people see. Yeah. And it is, it is, you know, it feels terrible, no matter of you are. Quinn, we have some classic questions that we ask everybody on Pod Crush. One of them is, can you tell us about an embarrassing story from middle school?

Yes. Volleyball's been a big part of my life for a long time. And there were tryouts for volleyball to start being in it in sixth grade. And I didn't really understand how tryouts worked. They were like, oh, sign your name on the sheet, and you'll be there. So I signed it, and I went to the tryouts, and I did awful because I hadn't played volleyball ever before. And so I went home. I was very excited. I told my mom, I told my dad, I was like, I'm going to be.

on the volleyball team. It's going to be great. I'm going to be a volleyball player. And I went to school the next day and they had this piece of paper on the wall and had everyone's names and mine wasn't there. And I was like, what? My name's not on the sheet for the, that's weird. Anyways. So I went to the try, or I went to the first practice and they're calling out names. They're like, Tyler. It's like here. Mike here. Brad here. And then I'm sitting in the back and I was like, they're like, did we not call anyone's name? And I just raised my hand. I'm the only one there that didn't raise their hand. And I was like, you didn't call my name, guys.

I'm here. They're like, who are you? It's like, Quinn Hardy. And they look at it and they're like, you're not on the team. Like, you didn't. I was like, I went to tryouts. I tried out. Why am I not on the team?

And they were like, no, you didn't make it. And all the kids started laughing. And I was like, I was like, I knew that. I knew I wasn't on the team. And I tried to save it the best way I could. I was like, I want to practice with. you guys so I can get better for the team next year and so every day

for two and a half weeks I would practice with them just not on the team and what they didn't know was like an hour after school every day I would go with my dad out to the same courts and he would just throw the ball and I'd be like hitting it by myself I was like I can do this and the last day before

the first game they were like you're on the team because it was my hard work and a kid that broke his finger so did he break his finger I got revenge. But that was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life was like holding my hand up very confused

because I didn't know you couldn't not make the team. I think the way you responded to that, I feel like there's like two ways that people would respond to that situation. One is do what you did. And I think that's like a very small percentage of people. And then the other is just give up. Like never touch a volleyball again.

So I think it says like something interesting about you. I believe that that's how you... It's very brave. How did that first game go? We actually went undefeated that season. Wow. Yeah, the whole season. It was pretty great.

The first game, being told that I could be on the team was just an exhilarating feeling and then going on and playing with all these kids. And, you know, it's sixth grade. So we're all barely getting it over the net. Like, half the time. You're not even serving correctly. But it was really, it was a big ego boost

for someone, I think, who needed it. Because my ego was at an all-time low at that point. And being a part of that, and then going undefeated, and that was pretty great. Actually, the final game of the season, we were warming up, who was doing high knees, and I stepped on a ball and rolled my ankle, and I broke my foot, like broke a bone across my foot, and I went to my mom limping, and I was like, Mom, I can't do this.

Like, I can't play the game. It's the final game of the season, like in a TV show. And she was like, you're going to get out there and you're going to play. So for three days, I didn't go to the doctor. And I was like, Mom, it hurts so bad. She hates that story. Mom, if you're listening, I'm sorry. I can't move it. No, but it was, I mean, I think she just thought I had nerves.

I was scared, so. But yeah, that was a eventful day. That's incredible. That's amazing. How about your experiences in middle school around love and heartbreak? You know, that's the time when some people are first starting to have crushes. What were your feelings around that? To be honest, for a long time, I didn't really consider it.

I never thought that I never looked at some. somebody and was like, I like that person. Like, I want to be around them more in a way that was more than just friendship. But I developed a few crushes here and there. I think as I got older, more into like the eighth grade and then ninth grade of early high school, I started, okay, this is something that people are doing. And then I watched a few rom-coms and I was like, okay, this makes sense. Fine, I understand this now. Yep.

I watched 500 days of summer. Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. That's like an elevated rom-com. Yeah. I watch it a lot. I still watch it. It's a really good.

Yeah. But around crushes, I think I had one in early days of middle school, and I was so scared to act on it. I still have that anxiety of going up to people if I have a crush on them. I just, I can't do it. It was such a fear of like, like you were talking about, that whole body anxiety of you're finally learning through experience. I just, every time my whole body was like, turn around and run the other way, and you don't have to deal with that if you don't do it. So it was, I always turned and run, or turned and ran. And, yeah, that's kind of always what I did.

Have you had a heartbreak? Yeah. Tell us about it. It was the early days of high school. I had been dating this girl for three months, I think. And our definition of dating was like, we're going to text once a week. Yeah. And that was it.

Once a week. Yeah, it was really romantic. but I she texted me out of the blue one day while I was in gym class and was like do you want to meet up and I was like meeting up in between third and fourth period like this is going to be great like this is there's no way this can go wrong oh no you know what's funny I forgot that this was a breakup story yeah and I was like oh it sounds like it's going to go right

it's going to be excited finally they're going to actually hang out yeah exactly um sorry so I went up and I went it was after gym class by the way for context And I went up and I went I scored 12 points in basketball today I was like yeah She went I want to break up with you And I was just like

I didn't even soften the bloke She just went right for it It was so straight forward Was it very clinical We'll cut that That's gold That's gold That sounds like I have a reputation to uphold

I don't want to be Associated So, wait a again, was their conversation past that point? Yeah, it was, I think, softening the blow after the blow hit was a bad idea. But she was like, I want to break up. I'm just, I'm not happy. We're going in different directions. It's high school.

So I'm not happy. Our lives are going in different directions. Ninth grade. But it was very, it was just a lot of softening the blow afterwards. And then my friends came up and they were like, how are you two lovebirds doing? And I was like, you guys have to leave. I can't. It was a lot.

Yeah. And then the bell rang. So I had three minutes to process it before my next class. And I had history. So I walked to history class and I sat down. And for three minutes, I was just like out of my mind. I didn't know what's happening. I wasn't paying attention.

And I just stood up and went to the bathroom. I didn't even ask. I was just like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. And then I called my sister. My sister picked me up and I left. Aw. Stick around. We'll be right back.

All right. so let's just let's just real talk as they say for a second that's a little bit of an aged thing to say now that that dates me doesn't it um but no real talk uh how important is your health to you you know on like a one to 10 and i don't mean the in the sense of vanity i mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well right you want to be less stressed you don't want it as sick when you have responsibilities um i know myself i'm a householder i have uh i have two children and two more on the a spouse, a pet, you know, a job that sometimes has its demands. So I really want to feel like when I'm not getting the sleep and I'm not getting nutrition, when my eating's down, I want to

know that I'm being held down some other way physically. You know, my family holds me down emotionally, spiritually, but I need something to hold me down physically, right? And so honestly, I turned to symbiotica, these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious and i'm telling you um even before us i've done ads for these guys it was a product that i uh i really really liked and enjoyed and could see the differences with um the three that i use i use i use uh the what is it called liposomal vitamin c and it tastes delicious like really really good um comes out in the packet you put it right in your mouth some people don't do that i do it i think it tastes great i use the liposomal uh glutathione as well in the morning um really good for

gut health and although I don't need it, you know, anti-aging. And then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8, which is really good for, I think, mood and stress. I sometimes use it in the morning, sometimes use it at night. All three of these things taste incredible. Honestly, you don't even need to mix it with water. And yeah, I just couldn't recommend them highly enough. If you want to try them out, go to symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. That's symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. As the seasons change, it's the perfect time to learn something new. Whether you're getting back into a routine after summer or looking for a new challenge before

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access to 25 language courses for life. Visit rosettastone.com slash podcrush to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don't miss out. Go to rosettastone.com slash podcrush and start learning today. Quinn, do you have any kind of spiritual belief or practice? did religion play any role in your upbringing? Not really. My dad nor my mom are very outward about their religions. I honestly don't really know what my mom's is at all. My dad is Christian, but we never went to church.

We never did any of that. So I never really understood religion growing up, not in any way of like, like this doesn't make sense, but I just never cared for it. I never thought about it. I never considered it. My biggest question was like, oh, what shirt am I going to wear today when I was 13 and 14? What am I doing here? Does God exist? Is there a purpose to life?

Oh, God. That was a pen's in her mouth. It's like, I should sign it for volleyball. Is God real? Oh, God. It was a lot. Help me get into volleyball. Yeah, exactly. But as I got older, especially recently, I believe in the idea of, well, it's not a belief. It's a philosophical idea of stoicism, which is... I was going to ask you about that. So now I thought you might. Okay, all right, let's hear it.

I really enjoy stoicism because it teaches you. you, there's so much to life. There's so much that you can, you know, I want this car. I want this. I want this. I want. It's constantly that greed for materialistic ideas. And it's to be grateful for what you have and reflect on what you can control. There's so much, you know, you can't control the weather. Why would you spend so much time in a day thinking about it? It's something that's out of your control. So don't think about it. The only thing that you truly can control is your mind. Sometimes you can't even control your body where you're at. If you get thrown in jail, you can't control.

leaving or where you are, but your mind is something that you can look at and go, okay, this is what I'm going to be grateful for. These are the people I'm going to be grateful for. This is what I want to spend my time doing. This is what I love and who I love and all this. And I want to focus my time on those things because they're a priority. I really like that. I've been thinking a lot recently about the concept of sovereignty and like what do we have sovereignty over? Because I think we all want to have sovereignty over something. And I think a lot of human existence is like trying to control our lives or our surroundings and our experiences, and that's impossible. But we have sovereignty over, I would say our characters, even like our minds, yes, and we should

like nourish them well, but mental illness can come in, like, you know, it's hard to control sometimes. But we all have sovereignty over our characters. And I feel like there's just so little propaganda about like, invest in your character, spend time developing that, like, whatever your condition, poverty, wealth, jail, freedom, no one can change your character that is a hundred percent in your hands like no one can force you to do evil things

that is like completely your decision so that is something that like every human being whatever their circumstances has total sovereignty over how they develop their character since you've thought of that idea have you had any life changes or anything yeah I've just no life changes but more are you kidding

podcast without headphones I have been thinking about like how does that impact like the way that I spend my time but whether that has changed my actual habits, not yet, but we're working on it. I was going to say that takes a lot of time. And that's what a lot of philosophy deals with is there's a stoic named Marcus Aurelius. And him and there's another one named Seneca, they both talk about there is so much that you can, like you can have attitude changes and they're very strong.

And it is hard to change habits. You have to commit to it and it's got to be something that you do every day. And, you know, you can read a book that tells you to do something and not. do it you haven't changed what you're doing but um changing your mindset and then changing how you treat things and how you go about life is it's a long-term change just because we're on the topic sophie shared something with me a couple months ago that was really helpful and i have actually changed some habits around that can you share from that book atomic habits where you're talking about the two-minute rule i was just thank you for reminding me because i was like i know there's

something that i know about a top from atomic habits yeah okay yeah atomic habits by james clear one of the tips in the book is that you give yourself a two-minute rule. If there's something that you need to do that takes less than two minutes, do it right away. Don't wait. Don't put it on a to-do list. Do it right now. So if it's like it'll take me two minutes to brush my teeth, it'll take me two minutes to put the dishes in the sink. Do it right now. And often what happens is even, like you'll start off by completing like way more in a day than you normally would. Those little menial tasks don't end up waiting till the end of the day. But then also what this person was saying was that they noticed that they started doing things thinking that it would take them two minutes

and then they would just continue doing it. Like they would say, okay, I'm going to read for two minutes. I really don't want to read, but I'm going to read for two minutes and then they would get sucked into it and keep going. And so the idea is that if you just start, you know, that's the hardest part. So if you just start something thinking that you won't have to do it for very long, you can end up building endurance and yeah. What inspired you to get on TikTok? And what was your first video to go viral on TikTok? What inspired me was, I mean, starting with Vine, I wanted to make videos on the internet. I grew up watching Teen Wolf and then two specific YouTubers named Markiplier and Jack Septuicai. And those are people that I always wanted to be. I always wanted

to be those people. And so I was like, this is the best way to do it. People are getting really big on this. And at first I was a little dismissive of TikTok and someone in college introduced me to it. It's like, you can dance to a panic at the disco song and it'll be great. And I was like, okay, I'll give it a try. And I started doing fashion stuff because I love clothing. And it did really, one of the videos did 10,000 views. And I was like, I'm in the big leagues now. This is, this is money right here. And so I just kept making transition videos with outfits and stuff. And I'm to wear this to this day. I'm going to do this. I'm going to wear a suit. And then the suits kind of started clicking on. And I love suits. I think suits are great.

Of course you do. Yeah, they're really nice. They're really cool. Like zoot suit style, the oversized suits. They're really awesome. Do you also like suspenders? I do like suspenders. I think suspenders are really cool. They're really nice. But over time, the video started doing better and better. And I had one that hit like a million views when all the other ones were doing like 24K, 30K. And when it did that, I just knew that that was what I wanted to do because the serotonin in my brain was like, this is more. We need 10 more of this. And I just kept making videos and eventually it started doing really well. What advice do you have for aspiring content creators or TikTokers? The advice that I would give people is do what you love. There's a philosopher named Alan Watts

and he talks about anything that you can do, there will be an audience. There will be other people who like it and he might mean it in the friendship way and you know a public space but there are always going to be people that like certain things I mean there's there's a guy on TikTok that rolls a dice and it decides what sandwich he eats it's like he has six things it's like what meat am I going to use roll a dice and I'm watching those for like three hours

I didn't think I was going to watch that at all but Quinn I'm worried about you it's pen I'm in my apartment a lot I got a lot of free time Guys, I'm not sure that he should be advising anybody. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Like roll dice and make sandwiches, everybody. That's the advice.

No, but do what you love. Do what you love, but make it work with the... And spend time outside. Look at the sun. Not directly. I'm giving great advice here. Look directly. Around it, around it.

Use chloroxes salad dressing. Yeah, there you're going to... What is it? They eat the tidepods thing that they did for a little bit. Please don't. use more access salad dressing or eat tidepods. Pod crush does not condone eating tie pods.

But no. Just because we don't have a tied deal. Yeah. Otherwise, we might. Listen. When we get there. But no, it's finding a mix of what you want to do and what works on the algorithm.

There's a lot of, you know, there's trending audios. You might like a song that has three videos on it and that might not do as well in the algorithm, especially when you're getting started. Do a few trends. If they work, they work. be you once you hit that stride I think being you

and being the most authentic version of yourself is the best way to succeed if you Quinnico could go back and say something weewee heartwarming

to your 12 year old self yeah what would you say um I'd tell him not to try out for volleyball no I think what I would say to them is probably don't diminish yourself to please other people because I think very

easily and that age especially we live in a place where what's cool is what everyone else thinks is cool and like it doesn't really matter what it is as long as people are enjoying like as long as everybody's enjoying everybody thinks it's cool then it's a cool thing and that's what cool people do like shoes that's the cool thing that people buy it doesn't matter what it looks like that's the cool one. And some of the stuff that I liked, I tried to hide when I got older. I tried to bury it down and not talk about it because I was embarrassed and I didn't want people to go, oh, he's not cool because he likes this stuff.

He watches YouTubers, like, he's watching these guys, really. And so I think I would just tell him to not bury himself underneath a pile of lies that other people want for you, want you to be. I think that's what I would say. I like that. Me too. Thank you, Quinn. Thank you, Quinn.

Thank you, for coming. Thank you so much for having me.