Podcrushed - Extra Credit: Your Stories (Sophie Fergi)

Episode Date: November 13, 2023

Join us this week for our second extra credit YOUR STORY episode, where we devote an entire episode to a conversation with a listener. Today we we talk to our youngest guest ever— 16 year old Sophie Fergi shares about how severe bullying in middle school led to a home-schooling journey that has culminated in a very prominent online presence on social media. She shares what she’s learned about navigating hate, both from peers in real life, and trolls on the internet. Follow Podcrushed on Socials: InstagramTikTokX  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada There's this old video of us and we recreated it like a year ago and we thought we like had the biggest glow up. We're like, oh, we're so good looking now. And I look back at our video that we like refilmed thinking we were like had our glow up. We did not like at all.

I was like, oh. Welcome to Polly. I'm crushed. Welcome to a very special, very, very special episode. Yeah. It is an episode, isn't it? What else would it be? Issue.

Are we recording? Oh, no. Is this real? I immediately regret this decision. I don't, actually. So what we're doing now is we're talking to listeners. We're talking to people just like you, except they're not you. Statistically speaking, they're probably not you, you, but they're, you know, people just

like you. today we have actually the youngest person we've ever interviewed on pod crushed Sinaii Sydney is a close second but today we have Sophie Fergie Sophie Fergie is well every one of our listeners that we're interviewing I think they you know they don't there is no box right every pod crush listener is a genuine snowflake Sophie Fergie is a bit unique because she is um she's she's she's she's She's like a, she's, she's, she's on TikTok. I don't know what, I don't know what to say in a way that doesn't sound.

She's got millions and millions and millions of followers on TikTok. I think even more than I do, doesn't she? She does. Yeah. Well, we'll see for how long. After this interview, we're predicting. She's going to lose quite a few. You know, actually we, you know, we considered whether Sophie made sense for a listener

episode because she does have fame. But actually what we found really interesting about Sophie and that we thought was really applicable is that a lot of young people, maybe all young people, maybe all young people are really grappling with an experience online that shapes their lives in really strong ways. And Sophie has that experience with a magnifying glass on it. And we felt like actually the magnifying glass helped us look at it from a unique vantage point that still reveals a lot about a universal experience that our youth are grappling with. And Sophie actually, before she achieved a sort of level of fame, experienced quite a bit of bullying. And so we start with that story.

She also has been an avid listener since the beginning of season one. Yeah, she's an A1 day one. We hope you enjoy this episode. Does anyone else ever get that nagging feeling that their dog might be bored? And do you also feel like super guilty about it? Well, one way that I combat that feeling is I'm making meal time everything it can be for my little boy, Louis. NomNum does this with food that actually engages your pup senses with a mix of tantalizing smell. textures and ingredients. Nom Nom offers six recipes bursting with premium proteins,

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com slash podcrushed, spelled try n-o-m.com slash podcrushed. A 15-year-old girl who chewed through a rope to escape a serial killer. I use my front teeth to saw on the rope in my mouth. He's been convicted of murdering two young women, but suspected of many more. Maybe there's another one in that area. And now, new leads that could solve these cold cases. They could be a victim now. We have no idea he killed.

Stolen voices of Dole Valley breaks the silence on August 19th. Follow us now so you don't miss an episode. Hi, everyone. I'm Sophie Fergie, and I do like influencing like my main platform is TikTok and they started off my YouTube. What's that follower count out?

It's five, client, four million. Wow, that's really a lot. I mean, I was kidding, but that's a lot. So, Sophie, tell us a little bit about, you know, what growing up has been like for you. What was middle school like for you, Sophie? Where did you go to middle school? What was that experience? Okay, so I went to like, that was such a good reaction.

You're like, that was so long ago. What are these old little focusing on it for? Middle school is interesting for me. So I'm 15 right now, so I'm in high school. Right. So middle school was a while, right? Uh-huh. You're way past it. So, like, my middle school experience wasn't, like, the coolest. Like, I did get bullied a lot.

I was born in Los Angeles, and then we moved to North Carolina. And then we came back here when I was, like, seven or, like, around seven. I went to this, like, new school. And we went to it because it was, like, right by, like, where I lived, like, my apartment. So it was like, all right, this is perfect school. We walked there. It was great. But the kids there were not, like, the best.

So, like, I don't know why. But when I joined, everyone hated me. They're like, oh, her. Like, I made fun of, like, the day I joined. Like, joined the school. I was like, what is going on? If you don't mind giving you, like, what was that first day like? What was happening?

And how did you feel? And what happened when you went home? The first day was very nerve-wracking. So when I got there, I was scared because it was a new environment. There was this one girl. She started making comments about my clothes and, like, saying that I was, like, poor and broke. And, like, I wasn't rich. but I had like money to like where I look decent you know what I mean and then it just progressively

got worse with especially that one girl. Did you start to like question yourself or were you like these kids are crazy? Like how did it impact the way you thought about yourself that that sort of that first week? It definitely like made me question myself because I was like well maybe like I do look bad like maybe it's like me and it definitely gave me a lot of um like I still feel this to this day like I don't feel comfortable all the time with like how I look or like how I present myself just because like I'm so used to people tearing it down. So I definitely think it's like impacted how I've grown up. I'm just thinking of you still being 15 and of course you sound kind of almost bizarrely like you have some perspective dare I say. I mean this was what two years ago?

This was three years ago. I'm like 11 or 10ish like around then. Okay. So then you switch schools and did you have a dramatically different experience? Yeah. So I switched schools and I was starting to get into social media. So the appeal of this school is like the kids weren't into like electronics. You don't go on your phone. You're not supposed to be like on electronics a lot. But with that being said, like there was like a lot of like negativity of me being on social media more so from the teachers. Like you shouldn't be on social media. You shouldn't because it's like. considered me being on electronics. Oh, right. Because at this point, you're doing that extracurricularly, and they have some kind of opinion. Okay.

Could you walk us through what you were posting on YouTube, sort of how things happened and how it's affected your life today? Yeah. So, like, I started off with, like, these blogs, and they were, like, they were real bad. I would be honest. But it's definitely, like, what were you doing in them? Oh, like, I was dancing, like, right now, like, how we're happening. this interview, I would just set up the phone

and, like, just start, like, dancing or, like, talking to myself. Like, just random stuff. And how old were you at this point? 11 is when I, like, really started to, like, be consistent. I was just, like, this is fun. It's a lot post stuff and see what people think.

So then we got monetized, and then I bought, like, my first camera, and it started to, like, gain a lot of, like, popularity, and people were just, like, liked watching me. And that was weird to me, I was like, oh, I was used to people not liking me, like from my school experience and everything before.

So that really was cool to see, like, strangers like you. And there's also some that didn't. Like, don't get me wrong. There was, like, haters, of course. But it was, like, fun to do videos with your friends. So how has it evolved now? Like, what are you doing on TikTok? And because what you described initially was you just dancing around talking to yourself,

which is, don't get me wrong, like, great. But, you know, surely, surely it's evolved. So what does it look like now? Now it's like I do lots of like dancing videos, just like more lip singing videos. I really love like fashion and beauty. So I do like make my outfit with me, get ready with me. I like to say lifestyle videos because like it is showing my life a lot of the videos on there. I'm 29 now.

So when I was in middle school, the like main social media platform was Facebook. And there was like a feature where you could record a video and post it to your friend's wall. They don't, like, all of this is antiquated now. But you just had no sense that anyone else was ever going to watch that video. It was as if you were sending like a private video to your friend. To look back on those videos now is so hard for me. It's so embarrassing. They just pop up.

If you just put the phone down and stop watching videos of yourself. I try. I try to avoid them. It's only happened a couple times. But I'm wondering for you, because you started so. young. Do you ever go back and watch those videos and how does it feel to see yourself at that younger age? Do you look back in cringe? Yeah, I do cringe. Like, big time. I have a friend who I'm still friends with, his name's Sawyer. And we did lots of videos together when we were younger.

There's this old video of us and we recreated it like a year ago. And we thought we like had the biggest goal for like, oh, we're so good looking now. And I look back at our big. video that we, like, re-filmed, thinking we were, like, had our glow up. We did not, like, at all. That means you need to do it again. Yeah. Just do it every year. Go.

Just, like, keep doing it. And the comments, like, get me every time because I'll look back at the comments, and they'll be, like, literally what you just said, like, how come you weren't even lip singing, right? Okay, cool. Am I feeling this? Because I'm, like, half your age, bro? Yeah.

Get out of my mentions. I mean, and given that you, I mean, you've had such a specific experience with bullying, it's like, do you get a sense of who's following you? Do you, you know, do you get a lot of positivity, negativity? Before it really got to me. Like, I would be, like, upset, like, crying. Now, like, I just laugh at them. Because, like, it's really funny to see, like, what people say. Like, I'll get, like, the weirdest comments. He'll be like, oh, my God, you did the woe too soon. And now the video's ruined. I'm like, ooh. That's what we're focusing on. But yeah, just stuff like that, like the weirdest comments, but I really laugh at them. Or I'll agree. Like, if my hair's not brushed, they'll be like,

oh, you're right. Probably should have brushed my hair before filming. Didn't think of that. And I do get hate. Like, I still get, like, regular hate. But then again, it's like, I laugh at it. Because, like, I went through an emo stage, like, a really bad, like, Gothic emo stage.

So, like, my comments are still like, oh, my God, it's that emo girl. Like, are you still emo and stuff like this? And I kind of got more annoyed with that comment, but I still laugh at it because it's like, okay, I'm not email anymore, but I agree. Let me evolve. Right. Did you match with the music? Can you tell us what you're listening to?

I probably won't even know them at this point. I'm too old for this, but. I listen to like Nirvana. Oh, you know. Suicide Boys was one of them. Just like really like random playlist. But then again, like in that same time period, I'd be. listening to like the Beatles, like the happiest song

from the Beatles. I'm such a parent in some ways or just older because I hear a 15-year-old say suicide boys and I'm like, boys? What a casual mention. But then of course, you know, there's a punk man suicidal tendency as way back in the day. So it's just, I guess it's ageless.

Penn complains that now that he's a dad people say anything he does. It's like, oh, those are dad. It's not people. It's you. It's you. It's you. I'm like, well, if you say, Stop being such a dad. Wait on his job. No, because the shoes that I'm wearing are not clearly dad shoes.

If I was wearing streetwear with them and like cool sweatpants. Yeah. And like I had crux in my hand or whatever. What did you say once if I had wheels, I'd be a bicycle? If I had wheels, I'd be an automobile. I'd like if I'd be a bicycle. That's funny. Sophie, I am not on social media in the same way that you are.

And I find myself dreaming of a day where. I don't ever have to post anything on social media ever again. And I'm wondering if you ever feel that or if it's something you're still feeling really excited about. I felt that way a lot with YouTube. So I took like a mental break. And I think like it's good to take breaks because like now I want to film and like I'm happy to film now. There's definitely been moments where like I've said to myself like, oh like I'm done with this. Especially because like I'm homeschooled.

So I wanted to go to in person school. I toured to school actually and like I made my decision on not to go because people knew me and I didn't want to like be at school where kids knew me because like if you're very intense say or like yeah and like I don't want to say

or do the wrong thing and it gets filmed by another student so it's just certain things like that like that's a lot to take on and that's you've given something up yeah that's definitely a sacrifice yeah I feel like a lot of things like my every not every move of course, but like I feel like a lot of it is broadcasted to the world.

Like my first boyfriend, everyone knew. So I broke up with this person. And when I broke up, it was like the hardest breakup because everyone was either hating on you or kept reminding you like, hey, you broke up with da-da-da. So it made it very intense. But when I was with him, it made it 10 times better because like everyone loved you. And everyone was like, oh my gosh, like you guys are cute. So it's really like a hate-love situation.

you know you had a boyfriend but it was public you know you you you think about going to school but it's like um there's a lot of attention on you i mean do you feel like you have relationships that are that are kind of like a refuge from this um yeah i actually i do so like i have some really close friends don't talk about it that maybe because we don't want anybody to know they're on social media it's okay it's okay people know who they are um so like i have two of my closest friends have like really been there for me and like I've known them for years Claire and Sawyer and they they're definitely like my safe house um I don't because they understand what you're going through like if I'm having because they're on social media you mean I would say

so yeah they're the same age as you but with that being said it's just like they like you like you could like go like I'll have like a rough day and like just sit down and it's like yo, it's okay. You don't have to post. You don't have to do this. And if we go out, it's like I feel better having someone with me.

Especially who's like going through the same stuff and like understands what it's like to be on social media and to like have a social media presence. So I definitely think that they're my safe house. Like I have friends, but like you have certain friends who are like, I don't know if they're if I trust them, especially because like I've had stuff posted by people

who were really close to me. Wow. And like that, like my number was leaked for a while. And I was like, oh. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. All right. So let's just real talk, as they say for a second.

That's a little bit of an aged thing to say now. That dates me, doesn't it? But no, real talk. How important is your health to you? You know, on like a one to ten? And I don't mean in the sense of vanity. I mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well, right? you want to be less stressed.

You don't want it as sick. When you have responsibilities, I know myself, I'm a householder, I have two children and two more on the way, a spouse, a pet, you know, a job that sometimes has its demands. So I really want to feel like when I'm not getting the sleep and I'm not getting nutrition, when my eating's down, I want to know

that I'm being held down some other way physically. You know, my family holds me down emotionally, spiritually, but I need something to hold me down physically, right? And so, honestly, I turned to symbiotica, these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious. And I'm telling you, even before I started doing ads for these guys, it was a product that I really, really liked and enjoyed and could see the differences with. The three that I use, I use the, what is it called, liposomal vitamin C, and it tastes delicious, like really, really good. comes out in the packet you put it right in your mouth some people don't do that i do it i think it tastes great i use the liposomal glutathione as well in the morning um really good for gut health and although i

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That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit rosettastone.com slash podcrush to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don't miss out. go to rosettastone.com slash podcrush and start learning today. You know, it's interesting because I have a perception of Gen Z that I know other people have too, that they're like kinder. It's like the non-bullying generation.

So when it's like interesting to hear that that's not true, like there's still, you know, there's still bullying happening. It's not like this generation has eradicated it. But I'm curious, Sophie, as someone who's experienced it, I wonder if you could, for other listeners who may be experiencing bullying, if you have any advice for them but also if you could speak to kids who bully like we probably have some listeners who are

bullies at school what would you say to them listen here you know who you are and stop following our show well well but what would you say to them you know like if you could say something to your bully what would you say like who decided to show up

she's contracting her knuckles she's getting ready so to the bullies out there you can catch me in the parking I would just say like stop bullying. Like there's really like there's no point of sitting there and just like tearing someone down. Like even if it's like, I don't know, I feel like a lot of the times it's like, oh, well, they're going through something. Well, the person you're bullying is also going through something.

You don't know what it is. You don't know what they're going through, but they are going through something at the end of the day. Like even like in this conversation, I don't know what any of you guys going to. through like on your, you know, own life, like on your own time. I don't know if, you know, what you guys are going through, what you guys face and, like, those struggles. But if I were

sitting here and I was just like, oh, like, all you are like fake. Like, what is that gonna do that how you feel? I mean, I have to say, just given the context, we've asked you to come on our podcast, uh, that'd be pretty interesting. Yeah. She's gonna make a video about this experience to TikTok be like

these five shows. They were all fake, all. No, but like, You guys aren't fake. But what I'm saying is, like, for me to sit there and say that would not be like, there's just no reason. Yeah. I would much rather know you guys than, like, straight up bully you guys. And I think that just goes for everything. Like, you should have bully someone actually sit down and get to an elbow because they might be your new best friend.

I don't know. I think that I, a conclusion that I've come to about just as like the perspective of an administrator where it's the most that I ever saw bullying because they had to come to me and I had to deal with it. my perspective on it then and I think it holds is that the kids who are most likely to bully other kids it's not necessarily the kids who were going through the most because it's exactly like you said that's so perceptive everybody's going through something I think it's the kids who felt out of control

and thought someone was someone they could control like they saw something in the other person or like this person might not stand up to me or in their mind it doesn't mean it's true like this person is weaker than me in some way like some aspect of someone and they just wanted to control something because they lacked control in their own lives I think people who felt like they lacked control at home.

That's what I noticed the most in students that were bullying other kids. I think a lot of it that I've realized to comes from, like, rumors. Like, this recently, like, happened in my own friend group. Like, we found out about something that was, like, not even true. And you don't even know where it came from. But we're like, oh, da-da, that's doing this. Oh, we don't like, we don't like them. And then, like, I sat there and I was like, wait a minute.

So we all did a call and, like, we talked about it. And we worked it out. We worked out the situation because we found out it was like a false situation. With that being said, it's like I think people have to have that realization that it's not like you were saying. It's not always about you or like what they're saying about you. It could be like from the littlest thing like a rumor. And I realize that that's happened with me. And I think that we all subconsciously, not we're all bullies, but I think we all have like opinions.

And it's just rather if you voice your opinion, And if it's a negative opinion, if you voice it, then, like, that's considered bullying. You know what I mean? If that makes sense in any sort of life. No, you know, if all the characters of Gossip Girl had ever had a group call, that just would have been right then the series finale. It's like, oh, I thought that wasn't true. Sorry. It's true.

I do want to ask one more question before our last question. Do you have any kind of spiritual background? Did you grow up with it? I mean, because I just feel like for you specifically, in your generation and also your generation having grown up with so much technology

and as you said like feelings of anxiety being so connected to all the problems of the world and feeling sometimes like there's a lot of weight on your shoulders

do you have a back do you have some kind of practice that you could call spiritual do you have some sort of discipline whether it's you know anything like that you don't have to I'm just curious

what you have you know I believe in a higher power and I believe like that there's someone guiding you along the way to be fair I am still trying to like figure out

if I believe in anything or what's true, what's not, because I am so rowing. But I do think, like, I've just been going to, like, whatever happens happens, and, like, you'll figure it out once you, like, die. And I know that's, like, really, like, not the best thing to go by. But I do think it helps me in a sense, like, it's going to be okay. And there is someone guiding you, if that makes sense. You know, just yolo.

Just yolo it, right? You know, I say, I say, yo, lay, you only live. eternally. We'll move to our last question. Take it away. If you could go back to, what, like 17 months ago, Sophie, what would you say to your 12-year-old self? Or what would you do? I mean, I was going to say it's going to be okay, but it sounds like everyone says that, no.

No, say it in your own way, because it's actually probably the most valid thing to say, you know? Yeah. I don't really know if I would tell myself it's okay. Okay, in a sense, like, I know I'm okay now, but I do think, like, Sophie, like, it does, in a sense, I'd be like, you're going to get older. In my opinion, you're going to get, like, a little sadder and you're going to, like, realize that you have anxiety and you're going to have to, like, cope with that. But I would tell myself to, like, enjoy being young and enjoy being a kid. Because especially when I was, like, five or six, all I wanted to do was be where I am not, like, in high school. Like, that's all I wanted.

more than anything. Like, I would fake doing homework because I wanted to be in school. I wanted to be older. Right. Like, I was, like, committed to this part of being older. But now when I look back at it, like, all I'm not in more is to spend one day being young again.

And I think that's something that I took for granted. I mean, everyone tells you, don't grow up too fast. Like, it's okay. Like, slow down. The summer days and stuff when I was younger were, like, a lot of fun. And I think I just needed to enjoy that more. to really understand that that was like some of the

best moments of my life not saying that I don't have good moments now but I think those moments were a lot of fun so just to really like enjoy those moments and soak them in but then again I feel like if I said that I don't know if I would enjoy like I don't know if I would soak them in

or if I would feel scared about growing up but don't fear I would probably say don't fear age but stay young as long as possible and like enjoy enjoy your youth, you know. Sophie, I've never done this with a guess, but I want to say this.

Can I give you advice? Can I give 15-year-old Sophie? Yes. You're so young. 15 is so young. You're mature. You can make important decisions. So it's not like a belittling thing.

It's not an infantilizing thing. But you are a youth and like you still have so much youth to live and you have so much time to enjoy. And you have your whole adult life to make money. so my advice to you would be like do things that aren't related to monetization and like live your life and enjoy your youth and try to make friends and if you really want to go to in-person things like talk to people see if there's a way even if it's like an you know an acting class or I think spending time with people your age in person is so valuable and later in life it becomes harder to

do that you just have to make more effort because now like the society the environment is cultivating that for you it's creating those spaces so not to invest validate anything that you've said, but I think that impulse is legitimate, and there's like a good social reason for that impulse. Like, this is an important time to be making those in-person connections. So if there's a way to find those groups, I think it's

worth figuring that out. And money's not going to it just doesn't make anyone that happy. It's not worth giving up so much for, you know? Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much for that, actually. I want to underscore this aspect of what Navajo was saying, which is like

it's, of course, we all say we all look back on a youth and like man if i could only know what i know now like and there's no way to do that you're going to live your life you're going to do what you're going to do and like you said we're all going to die and find out but you are objectively young you have so much youth left i also never felt older or sadder i will tell you from the ages of about 15 to 23 i'll call it those were the hardest years of my life I don't know I don't know

you know I do know why and I do know what led to that and we're at the end of our conversation here but I just want you to know it's a cliffhanger

you know I'm just saying you when you check in at 17 yeah I'm just saying like it's just helpful to it's not all like this subjective like well I'll make it you know you're you are going through

an experience that is going to have an effect on you where you know just what you expressed to your younger self it's hold on to it hold hold hold on to that slowness you want because you can have it you're you're 15 yeah i'll take that like actually thank you all i just said thank y'all that's really thank you guys thank y'all thank y'all better go be on the farm now Thank you.