Podcrushed - Hosts AMA

Episode Date: August 16, 2023

The hosts are back with their S2 AMA (or should we say AUA -- Ask Us Anything) episode. They reflect on who their favorite guests have been, their most vulnerable moments on the show, things they’ve learned about each other in the process of making Podcrushed, and everyone shares a critical lesson they’ve learned about love. Follow Podcrushed on socials:TwitterTikTokInstagramSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada When I say I'm going to do something shortly, it's not a lie, it's just that... An ambition. It's a dream. It's a dream. Like, often I'm like, yeah, no, I can do the next two hours. And it's usually, like, closer to five. Nava and I knew that. And it's, yeah, yeah, it's not a lie. It's just like, it's without fail, without fail.

Welcome to Pod Crushed. We're hosts. I'm Penn. I'm Nava. And I'm Sophie. And I think we could have been your middle school besties. PMSing and overreacting to everything. Welcome. In case you just blindly stumbled into a podcast you don't want to listen to, this is podcrushed.

Now's your time to leave. Turn back now. Turn back now. If you know what's good for you. No, hello. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. I want to know when was the last time you learned how to do something that you had no experience with? What was that like for you?

Wouldn't it be podcasting? Is that the last time? That's, it's happening right now. Always learning. Yeah. Yeah, so you're asking me this. I'll three of us. Me too.

Sorry. You're not the only person in there? Is there a third voice in here? Hello! The last time I learned something completely from scratch was when I took a pottery class. So last October, I took a. pottery class and it was the best feeling and now actually Navajo your your question is reminding me that I want to do that again have a kid yeah that's true I think you're a bad man you're embarking on

it that's right can't wait cooking that little pot in there I um started guitar lessons yesterday and like pot of guitar hired a guitar teacher and it's been really interesting because he's the teacher is really shout out justin he's so sweet he's so he doesn't listen to this podcast but he's so encouraging but it's also really embarrassing to do something one-on-one that you're really bad at that like another person has to watch you do so I've been sort of like oscillating

between like being really excited to do something totally new and feeling like really self-conscious and embarrassed at how bad I am even though it's like my first time but anyway yeah what about you Penn? Learning something that I'm bad at

no that you've never done before I feel like that says a lot about Penn because I feel like pen you don't get kind of you kind of don't have the the room to be bad at things because you started so young as a professional person there's not I mean you know we we can we can dig in if you like but I mean I have been um you know some kind of some kind of fame attached to me in my name and my face since since I was 20 so yeah I haven't I haven't had a whole lot of room to do something for the first time like and feel like I can just flounder and

be bad at it but I guess podcasting would be it for you it would be podcasting and this this clunky intro probably is a great sign of a learning I think publicly then

let me tell you it happens all the time all the time welcome to podcrush this is an an A-U-A episode Ask us anything

it's not an AMA because there's three of us we've actually done this before We had another episode that was just the three of us, and it's called Three's Company. You can go check it out. You might actually want to check it out because our most frequently asked question when we pulled you guys was, what's the origin story of this podcast?

But we're not going to tell it because we've already told it on that episode. You heard it here first. We are taking your most asked question and denying it. We're denying it. We're refuting it. We're ignoring it. That's the kind of show we run. All right.

Well, stick around. and after the break, we'll be right back with your questions. Can I, can I, I would like to read, I would like to, um, what's the word? I did it for the first time ever. Stick around. From, okay, no, you've done it because I actually listened to something and you said stick around. Really? You said stick around.

Yeah. Okay. And I, and it occurred to me. I'm like, we have to stop saying stick around guys. It's not like the 90s on the radio. Okay. It feels, it feels odd. But anyway, stick around.

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So people want to know If there was another name besides Pod Crushed That we were kicking around There was a name that Penn had presented to the group That we really liked Penn, do you remember what it was I like, yeah, of course I do I like that you're like, there was a little accusatory No, I love that name

I actually, I wish we had picked it sometimes Same, yeah, I love that name All the time I mean me too sometimes sometimes I call it that in my head still And what was it? It was it called when I was 12? When I was 12? Or was it called when you were 12?

When I was 12. When I was 12. It has a nice like whoa-wah thing to it when I was 12. But then, yeah. A producer told us that it was too navel-gazy. So it stuck with podcast. Yeah. They said podcasts are already navel-gazy.

You don't want to really lean into that. So we went for Podcrush, which is a totally different vibe. I like Podcrashed, but. Yeah, sometimes I do think about the one that got away. Yeah. Well, we also got a lot of questions about our guests and some hypothetical questions. I think we can run through them pretty quick and each give our answer. The first one is who would be your dream guest?

I mean, everybody knows my dream guest is Taylor Swift, but I'm going to give a different answer that you don't necessarily know, which is Bill Hater. I would love to know what Bill Hater was like in middle school. Oh. my dream guest, I think, has remained Steve Carell. I just want to... We would love that. I want to hug him. Yeah.

And ask him about when he was 12. I would be very nervous interviewing either one of them very much. See, the dream guest thing for me is like, okay, what would it be? I mean, I think I've said this before. Kendrick, maybe that's an easy answer. But would I really want to interview him? Well, yes, it would. What about your favorite guest so far?

I mean, they all have such different qualities. Yeah. I mean, because they're all children of God. Aw. No cap, okay. Children of God. Okay, so Roy Wood Jr. was a recent one where I thought he dialed

into the concept and kind of didn't leave it more than anyone I can recall he stayed in the middle school time the coming of age time the adolescent time and he really kept plumbing it and like made it funny and like relatable and I thought there was something there there was something there and that's the one in recent memory that's just recent memory you know what about you Sophie I think maybe one of my favorite episodes like in the moment while we were recording was Io, Adepri

because she's a friend of mine from college I hadn't seen her in many many years it was just really like high energy and fun I think that makes it a little challenging to listen to because also was one of the first ones we recorded so we were really green as a host but it's one of my favorites I love recording with Taylored Homlinson

and something that I felt I felt this way about Elise Myers also after it was very sad that I wasn't going to be friends with Taylor. Like when she left the room, I really felt like I really want to be friends with this person, but like it's just not going to happen. But I felt like a heart connection with her. And the interview was very different than it. It just went in a different place than I expected. And I loved it. I felt like she was really genuine and authentic. And it was a great conversation. That's sweet.

which guest were you most starstruck by um pen have you ever been starstruck oh yeah yeah yeah well it's uh i mean conan conan i think was um yeah let's interview this man who's um this is living and he's a global icon for it to interview other people

um and he was named i think howard stern named him his favorite interview ever so that's like another iconic interview saying he's even he's a good interview he is that was that or julia louis yeah oh god yeah just say one so then i can say the other no those were my two as well um i even like i even cut a special video of when we interviewed conan because i was so like i was shaking i couldn't like hold my water bottle i was it was a struggle I was really starstruck. Julia Louis Dreyfus, I remember taking a moment while we were interviewing her and noticing, like, I could hear my heart.

I could feel it. I could hear it. It felt like a big deal. I will say that being in her presence, it was like, especially when I, after, asked her to do the Elaine dance TikTok, I kind of, at that point, we'd interviewed her and I felt more comfortable. But as I rolled into it, I just for a moment, I was like, hmm, she doesn't have to say yes. She could go bad. And I just felt like, oh, I'm about to ask her to do the Elaine dance. But, you know, that was a moment where I felt because she's so iconic and especially iconic for that.

Yeah. Penn, I have to say, I think Nav and I got a new appreciation for what you go through. Roblo came in person with me and Nava, which has never happened with any guest. And it won't again. And we'll make sure of it. We really messed up. And I was kind of like, well, we shouldn't ask for a TikTok. I don't think it's gas.

And we make sure if Ed does it. And that was like, why? No problem. So I feel like you, really a lot rides on you and you're the only one in person. I prefer the digital. It's so much like gentler and easier. You can look at notes. Oh, I prefer in person.

I feel like the energy is so amazing. So I would say, Julia, except that because it was remote, I wasn't as nervous. I was the most nervous for Rob Lowe, and it's because, yeah, that morning, I think Sophie figured out that we had all thought it was going to happen remotely. And then Sophie stumbled on a document

where it said he was coming in person. And she texted the group. She was like, Roblo is coming in person in L.A. I was like, no, no, it's remote. I already talked to our producer about it. She's like, no, this note says he's coming in studio. And I just felt so nervous. And it also really made me appreciate

that Penn is like, I feel safer when Penn is there when he's in the room. But I will say that, Rob like immediately just walked in the room was like hey girls and was just like just put us at ease so I went into it like super anxious but like calmed down immediately because he was so personable I like that you said that Sophie stumbled on a on a document like it was the turning point in in like an alien abduction case or like a serial killer hot on the trailer like Sophie stumbled on a document discovered a briefcase yeah which moment on the podcast made you the most emotional

I yeah well I'm sorry to go back to Taylor Tomlinson but you guys will see it there's a moment where well there's two for me it was the episode with Andy grammar where we talk about our mother's passing there's like a moment I tell some story in that episode I think that's maybe the most emotional I've been but the other but that's just like an easy if you get me to talk about my dead mom I will cry like that's just a guarantee that's like a given but with Taylor although I also talk about my dead mom that's not the moment there's a moment where I'm recalling feeling very insecure about something that connects to how I felt in middle school and I got really emotional and I was like really suppressing like I could have full body cried in that moment and I like really suppressed it but that's the most emotional I've ever been on the podcast for sure. Yeah. Navi you say you say if you can get you to talk about your dead mom.

So easy. I don't think it's to try. Can we get you to shut up about your dead mom? Oh my God. She's here with us. Can we move on? David's in the other room just shaking his head. It's just going, no.

I, we, some of you may know, some of you may not. We interviewed a few listeners, and we're still trying to figure out how to use those episodes. We really want to, but we're trying to figure out what works. Oh, yeah. And we interviewed one listener. And I don't think you hear me talk, you'll hear me talk for the first, I don't know, however many minutes, 10, 15, because I, I am just silently sobbing actually it's not very silent David David wasn't there for that recording and he was editing it and he was like the first half hour or whatever it was he was like what's wrong

with Sophie like you just hear you just hear me going and it's because I'm sobbing throughout the whole episode it was really I could not keep it together yeah how does it feel to know that your own husband doesn't know what it sounds like when you cry It's not like I don't cry You just tunes me out What about you, Ben? Have you been emotional on the show? Actually, that's the one

It's kind of hard to talk about it now It sucks to keep it vague for our listener now But man, what, yeah I mean, I was Crying is not something that I do Rarely Like I mean, I'm not going to do it I don't know, in public

Like I'm not going to do it on a phone call Very readily but I'm in touch. Like I cry with some regularity listening to music. Yeah. Particularly gospel music or rap. I had no doubt, Penn, that you could cry and were in touch with your emotions in that way. I think it's just that Nava and I cry on the podcast so often.

Oh, yeah. And you never do. But somebody's got to, you know, the lid on. Somebody has to keep asking questions. Okay, here's the last Someone's got to keep asking the celebrities for their TikTok Yeah Here is the last question of this type

I want you guys to pick any two previous guests Who have appeared on the podcast To come on a new episode together Who would you pick? I like the ethos of that question I'm not sure what the answer is, let me think I think I would pick Aloke

and Gabor Matthew to have like a philosophical face-off. Not a face-off, like not a competition, but just I feel like the two of them... I want them to compete. I want to know who wins. No collaboration. Going back and forth,

it would be so interesting. Yeah, I think that's a great answer. I have to think of one that I like better, but that's a great answer. Wait, can I have two answers? Is that cheating? Go for it. Okay, one is Julia, Louis Dreyfus, and Conan O'Brien.

I mean, I just think that that would be amazing chemistry, but it's almost too obvious. I would love to bring back I.O. Debris and Sebastian Stan because I don't know what it would feel like, but I feel like it would be fun. Especially Iowa with Sebastian. Something about them being very different, I think would be cool. I would love that. I feel like I want to take Sophie's answer and just add one more person.

Okay, Thruple. I feel like Phoebe Robinson. Oh my gosh, yeah. You know? I like what that does to the mix. absurdist comedy because she could totally hang and then she would just be constantly

throwing an absurdist comedy that I I don't know if it would throw Gabramate in a way because he you know I mean listen I hope he's listening hello Dr. Monti I'm sure he is I'm sure he is

I mean he just seemed sort of like I'm curious like what does make him laugh you know he just seemed unflappable yeah and now that and I've listened to a lot of his talks just kind of generally I don't I can't recall really I think there's like an affable chuckle Like maybe in the spirit of solidarity

With somebody who's laughing But I don't know that he Maybe I feel like a lot of people will try His humor will you know Help diffuse a situation Or like a question that feels uncomfortable And I've seen so many people like Try to bring some humor to the interview

And he's just straight-faced Just waits for them to finish Because it's almost like he isn't uncomfortable Yeah he doesn't feel the need to use that Like humor is maybe used for that and he's just like no I'm there with you yeah that's true

people also wanted to know who runs our social media who's the most involved me is that not clear I think people would like to know that sometimes you are sometimes you are you are the one who post something and you're the one

who's commenting from the podcrushed account yeah that's true I have commented from I've commented as myself and as the podcrushed account as though we're separate people. Oh, all of us. All of us do that. But then sometimes we really do, like,

I'll be pod crush commenting on Sophie and commenting on Penn. So you'll never know. But we're all involved, but Sophie takes the lead on social media. Yeah. I like this one. If you could describe one another in one word, it's hard. Because I'm not... For you.

That's a short answer. That's a short answer. Someone did say when they asked this, I think this will be hard for Penn. They've been listening You want to go first? Can you guys go? No, I asked the question So I want to hear you first

Okay, I have two answers for Sophie Tender, Sophie, seeker, pen Ooh, those are great Those are really good words Aw, never I'm gonna cry Yeah, because you're so tender I'm just seeking the door

You are crying Well, yes He's so tender That's maybe Maybe it needs it to be cooked a little more I know, I know, I know No also something that happens in the studio Sometimes I think like

Maybe this happened on the Bobby Burke episode There's like sometimes my eyes get irritated And it looks like I'm crying And I'm like this is really embarrassing No So I feel like it's a combination of both But, okay, I would say it is really hard because obviously each of you contain multitudes. I would say for NAVA, the one that just comes to mind first is determined.

And yeah, I think that's that's one of your foremost qualities determination. And for Penn, I would say playful-ish. Because it's like Sometimes you're so playful And I'm like Oh my God Oh my God This is so fun

And then But then you can be so serious Yeah Too And I don't always know Which pen are we going to get Right I don't find that funny at all

That's not charming Um You know what's funny for NAVA, a word that I don't even know the definition to which maybe is and it's like I really hope you take it the right way replete

I thought like What does that mean? Like full? Like I'm gonna try to not take that the wrong way To me You're like when you say something comes Replete with Like you do so much

You have so many faculties That's a good one Isn't that isn't that? Yeah I mean, that is, I mean, to me, replete is like when anybody ever uses the word, it means that she's just, oh, I'm not worried that anything's missing. Yeah. That's so sweet. And she'll give her all to something.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah. And then, um, Sophie. Tender's pretty good. I'm trying to. I'm trying to. It's, the multitude thing is tough. I think it's okay also if it's just like a word.

It doesn't need to be like the one that describes. No, it needs to be perfect. This is where, this is why. Because he's famous. and then if you get it wrong, I can't be publicly wrong about anything. I'll say surprising. That was my other word. Really?

I swear my other word was going to be surprising. I was like tender or surprising. Yes. Wow. Yes. I love that. Yes. I love that.

But you say more, sorry. I didn't mean to cut in. Penn, say more. Sorry. Oh, yeah. Well, because like tender is a great starting place, right? but then it's like you are surprising at different points

for very different reasons I think like sometimes your humor surprises me you know you just cut in with like just the right you're gonna cry aren't you that's not funny I mean I haven't stopped crying from tender yeah your your humor I think in particular

sometimes is surprising just in the particular cut that it has I don't mean in a bad way I mean like different kinds of humor that's what I'm trying to say And I even think in interviews, it's not so much surprising, certainly not anymore, but I think you've, I think you come in with some real insight at very special moments. Thank you guys. Yeah.

Oh, that was a fun activity. Thank you to the listener who gave us that question. Stick around. We'll be right back. All right. So let's just real talk, as they say, for a second. That's a little bit of an aged thing to say now. that dates me doesn't it um but no real talk uh how important is your health to you you know

i'm like a one to ten and i don't mean the in the sense of vanity i mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well right you want to be less stressed you don't want it as sick when you have responsibilities um i know myself i'm a householder i have uh i have two children and two more on the way um a spouse a pet you know a job that sometimes has its demands so i really want to want to feel like when I'm not getting the sleep and I'm not getting nutrition, when my eating's down, I want to know that I'm being held down some other way physically. My family holds me down emotionally, spiritually,

but I need something to hold me down physically, right? And so honestly, I turned to symbiotica, these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious. And I'm telling you, even before I started doing ads for these guys, it was a product that I really, really liked and enjoyed and could see the differences with. The three that I use, I use the, what is it called, the liposomal vitamin C, and it tastes delicious, like really, really good.

Comes out in the packet, you put it right in your mouth. Some people don't do that. I do it. I do it. I think it tastes great. Really good for gut health, and although I don't need it, you know, anti-aging. And then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8, which is really good for, I think, mood and stress. Sometimes use it in the morning, sometimes use it at night.

All three of these things taste incredible. Honestly, you don't even need to mix it with water. And, yeah, I just couldn't recommend them highly enough. If you want to try them out, go to symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. That's symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. As the seasons change, it's the perfect time to learn something new. Whether you're getting back into a routine after summer or looking for, a new challenge before the year ends, Rosetta Stone makes it easy to turn a few minutes a day

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I-XL, and I-XL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get I-XL now. And Podcrush listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL memberships when they sign up today at IXL.com slash podcrushed. Visit IxL.com slash podcrushed to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. This is a question for Penn and Sophie. I am not pregnant. I don't have any children, so I'm going to skip this one.

But I want to know. Someone asked, what have you learned that you want to bring to your future kids' middle school experience? This is interesting for you, Penn, because you actually have a kid in middle school and you have a kid who will be in middle school. And Sophie's probably thinking about her baby's whole life. Yeah. Go ahead, Sophie. I really look back on middle school and regret how much of myself. I hid, or not intentionally, but I, how much of myself I suppressed. I feel like in elementary

there was like a playfulness and a goofiness that I lost in middle school because I was so concerned about fitting in, about a certain friend group that I wanted to be a part of. And I really tried to grow up very, very fast in middle school. And I don't know how I would teach my child this, but I really want to be intentional about helping them maintain an innocence or playfulness or whoever it is that they are. Like I met someone recently a high schooler who's obsessed with birds. And I was like, that is just so sweet. I love that you have not lost that, like, the other kids in your middle school or high school.

Because after talking to her, it became clear that, like, you know, there's other kids in school who don't think that's cool. You mean like all of them? Yeah But I love that I mean I'm not saying that that's right I'm just saying it's true I just love that that hasn't deterred her It hasn't stopped her from being obsessed

I love that So yeah How about you guys There's some kids in this person's school That maybe don't think that's the most relevant Or interesting thing The birding I did want to say

This is very random But we had Jenny Hahn on the show this season, and some of you might have seen her show Exo Kitty. And I said this to Sophie that XO Kitty surprised me and what I really liked about it. And I can't remember if I've seen another protagonist like this. They might exist. I just haven't seen it. Is that that girl, Kitty gets bullied a little bit. And normally in the face of that, you see a character change, get a little bit harder. And Kitty is like unbothered, stays exactly the same, stays herself. And I was like, this is such a healthy protagonist for us to see. We just never see that kind of a story.

It reminds me of that girl you're talking about. I love that. I think that's a great thing to try to instill into your daughter. Yeah, the interesting thing with my 14-year-old, so he's entering high school and his biological father is very much in the picture, which I just say because, like, it's interesting when you have, when you see somebody at zero, there's just something about that where time is on your side to, like, figure it out. And I feel like with my oldest, I've been, I've always been playing a little bit of catch-up, like but now but now um is great because it's like finally we can have some really mature

conversations and that's like a that's a that's a welcome thing so i feel like part of the reason that i have given the answer before to our like final question you know what would you do and say and i think i've revised my answer to be like i would just hold him and try and do whatever takes so I would listen so that then he could listen to me I see with my oldest how you know you can try and say whatever you want

but that's not necessarily going to get through and so I just think about yeah I don't know my oldest I think about that and with the youngest I mean he's a ways away I definitely

I think actually Sophie's answer is probably the best one to not feel like you have to hide yourself that's what everybody talks about when we come on this show right like it's the part of the tragedy of adolescence and middle school if there is one and i think there is one in a lot in most cases that we do we hide ourselves we start to learn that our that us being just authentically unabashedly ourselves is not going to be well received at least by other people our age so we become so self-conscious we start to just find every possible chance to conform in some way to sort of minimize like that and and that's that's that's that's

really unfortunate you know um worst case it can create really bad people and then the you know the best case is like it just ends up hurting later so i just yeah i think about that really for both of them just wanting them to feel like it's okay to be who they are uh in and and of course the way that looks for a toddler is so different yeah Do you regret something that you said or did to someone in middle school? What was it and why? The things I'm remembering are like moments I can remember accidentally being, I mean, I'm serious. Like the way the racism and misogyny, they're like they're in us even if we're not,

we're not like an active participant in it. They're in us by default and we have to cleanse ourselves. It's that age that I can remember moments where I was like, you know, the, the microaggressor without realizing it or um being too casual in my language around the way i speak about women like it i now look back on and i'm like oh i it's easy to forget that i was like that because that's not who i am in my essence but like it's the it's the persona that you sort of try to to put on and but in middle school i honestly think i just remember being so it i've i've felt at least so tender and often so quiet i don't i can't remember anything that i regret from then

other than like probably just being so harsh with myself i have two one might be too real so one is when i was in seventh grade i might as told a story but i was like ha ha when i told it the first time but when i was in seventh grade this boy brought like really hardcore pornography to class and we watched it like uh i shouldn't laugh but our history teacher would like play a film every day and he like left and this kid like swapped his film for this like hardcore porn film and I remember that everyone in the class watched

except this one girl Maria who just like stood and stared at the wall and I wish that I had stared at the wall with her because that was like my first encounter with sex and it was like very hard core vine it was like a BDSM I still remember it clearly and I just can't imagine that that had any positive effect on my brain at 12 for that to be like my first encounter with sex

So I wish I hadn't watched it Yeah That's actually a good one I just I regret all the porn I watched There we go My dad is gonna die He's gonna like Why did you say this?

Does he know this story? No He's gonna find out on the podcast Hi Tommy But haven't you told this before I've heard that before I have but I don't think I described The nature of the porn

Yeah Oh yeah Yeah That's one The other answer is sort of like I had a birthday party It was either my 13th or my 14th And I remember

There was like a girl that was, like, in my friend group, but, like, I didn't think she was, like, that cool. And someone who I thought was really cool had R-Suped for my birthday. And I hadn't invited this other girl yet, and I decided not to invite her. And my mom was like, you need to invite this person. And I didn't. And my mom was like, I really think you shouldn't exclude her. And I was like, it's my birthday.

I got really mad at my mom. I was like, it's my birthday. Like, you don't get to pick who comes to my party. La, la, la. And so my mom was like, okay, and I didn't invite her. And I think it was obviously the wrong choice. And it was selfish. And I wish I would have invited.

her like she found out and it oh she found out she found out she wasn't invited and it really hurt her feelings yeah oh yeah that's hard yeah i feel very similarly to you navva i have there's like two channels of regret and one is like saying mean things like you know or like joining in on when like a group of friends are making fun of someone in the class whether it's to their face or are usually behind their back. I didn't have like a strong enough backbone to be the person to say like, no. I like this about that person or we shouldn't be talking like that. I just joined in.

I really like just totally was brought into that. And I regret that a lot. But another one, like one, the story that came to mind when you told yours, Navas, when I was in eighth grade, because I moved in the middle of eighth grade from, the Philippines to China. And then at the end of my eighth grade year, I like begged, begged, begged my parents to let me go back and visit my old friends and my old school.

So like six months or so after I left. And in the Philippines? In the Philippines. Yeah. So I went back alone. Like my, no one of my family came with me. I stayed with friends. And I remember one of my friends, he like took me to a party.

and my mom didn't know you know my parents at home didn't know like what I was like really not getting up to anything good on that trip and I look back on that trip and I feel really like when I think about myself at 13 14 I'm like oh you were so like alone and and I regret not turning to my parents more during that time I saw something. I did some things that I'm like shocked by now when I think about a 13 or 14 year old little girl. So yeah, I think like not turning to my parents more in moments like that. Yeah. Thank you guys for sharing. Okay. Someone wants to know what was a song or album that mattered most to you in middle school. I think something that I struggled with growing up was like just, I mean, I'm grateful for it now, but having a lot of different cultures and being like which one at.

am I? Am I Puerto Rican? Am I Persian? Am I American? Am I allowed to express which one I am in front of other people? So I remember music being a big thing where it's like whatever my friends were listening to, I had to like it too, even if I didn't. Like that's how I felt. But I do remember asking for my birthday, I think it was my 13th, this famous birthday, like telling a friend that I really wanted the third eye blind album. And that being like, I'm allowed to be American. Like, I'm allowed to want like an English speaking album. And it was the semi-term kind of life. And And I loved that album. I mean, I listened to it for, like, years and years.

And I just remember, like, that being a moment where I didn't ask for the album that I thought all my friends were listening to and that just being, like, significant. So that's a special album to me. That's cool. When I was in middle school, I mean, I've talked about this on the podcast that when anybody asked me, like, what kind of music do you listen to? It immediately makes me, like, palm sweat. I'm, like, stressed.

But one thing I really remember about middle school is we, my friend group was really big fans of the OC and the way we would get all of our music was this website called theOC soundtrack.com and it just was like someone like uploaded all the songs that would ever and they would update it every week like all the songs that were ever on the OC you could just download from that website and most of my music because it was like already it was like a filter for like indie cool alternative music and I remember there was a song called Orange sky that like I heard recently and I was like immediately brought back

to middle school. For me I think it would have been when Cisco went solo and it might be the thong song just because it was the single off of the song. Can we please play the song at this moment? Anybody remembers when it modulates and he goes and the helicopter shot

above and the red leather pants okay this is a quick one. rapid fire. Watch me turn it into not. I know. How does everyone drink their coffee? Full of sugar. That's right. That's the only way I'll drink it.

Navajo do you really like coffee though? You don't. No, I like an iced vanilla latte and things in that genre but never just like a regular coffee, no. In the morning I do really like a drip, hot drip no matter the time of year. But

generally if I go out, I want like an iced quartado. Coffee hits me so hard, so hard, that I have to be particular about how I take it and when I take it. It's like, for me, it's a full-on drug. There's no, it's like it has a serious effect on my day if it's not at the right time or it's on too empty of a stomach or whatever. So I prefer an eight-ounce Americano with a splash of whole milk around the hour of nine o'clock. And this is when I've been up probably since six, you know.

So it doesn't start your day off. Yeah, that's kind of how I like it. If I do anything else, it's just like playing with fire. If you could take a vacation anywhere in the United States, where would it be? In the United States. I really want to go to Wyoming. I just like I really want to go somewhere like beautiful nature that I've never been where it could be like more quiet, maybe leave my phone behind.

I would really like to do that. Now you have to go to Yellowstone, National Park. It's one of my favorite places in the entire world. I just went here but it was so good I want to go again Lake Powell It crosses both Utah and Arizona It was I think After we went with a group of friends

Or two other friends And I said that night I was like I think that was one of the best days of my life And they were like really And I was like well never I don't know I mean just one of them But we're together Like what?

No because you're talking about the thing Aloke described like the most romantic scene, being with your friends on a boat in nature. I think that makes sense as a favorite day. Actually, yeah. I agree. Penn? Somewhere where you can swim, I really love swimming,

and preferably not where you're like freezing, by the way. Yeah. Because you can do that. But I do love mountains and I love to swim. Can you combine those and it's not totally freezing? Hawaii. Somewhere, Wyoming. I think you can do it in Wyoming.

You can also do it in Puerto Rico if we count that as the U.S. And you can do it in Hawaii. Yeah. what's a lie you tell often? I do this thing that I call a panic lie all the time, like constantly where like here's an example. I went on a hike with a friend not too long ago and I showed up and I just thought we I thought it would be more like a walk and I showed up in jeans and like a crop top and he

was in like full hiking gear and it was so hot. It was like one of the hottest days and he was like, Is that what you're wearing? Aren't you hot? And I was like, oh, this is just all I had. Everything else is in the wash. I didn't want to tell him. Like, I misunderstood what was going on.

And so I'm wearing the wrong thing. But I just will do that. I'll just tell a lie like that. That's funny. I think sometimes it's true. But often if my answer is it's fine, that's a lie. I'm probably more hurt and more upset than I want to say. Oh, good to know.

Good to know. Moving on. For me, it's... When I say I'm going to do something shortly, it's not a lie. It's just that... An ambition. It's a dream. It is a... like, often I'm like, yeah, no, I can do the next two hours. And it's usually, like, closer to five.

Nava and I knew that. And it's... Yeah, yeah. It's not a lie. It's just like, it's without fail. Without fail. Penn, what's your beard care routine? You mean my wife? Oh.

Oh, my God. Hey, these guys got jokes. Shots fired. Well, it's shaven. I mean, right now. Do you use beard oil? Yeah, so, yeah, coconut oil. Coconut oil is the go-to.

Argon oil or coconut oil. That's all. Penn, I'm just going to, two people, not two people, two questions that come up on our TikTok frequently. One is, what is your hair care routine? And what is your cologne? We've had one person just, relentlessly.

Every video is his cologne. So here's what it is. Coconut oil. Coconut oil. I use it for face, beard, and hair. Listeners, if you're only listening, you miss Sophie give the biggest eye roll. Because it's like, it's just like,

Like, I don't need anything. But I get, I mean, but you can see how often I look. And Ben is just like coconut oil on everything. Yeah. I mean, you see how I kind of, I look pretty unkempt a lot. You see behind the thingy, the veil. This question is a trap. Yeah, right?

But what about cologne? No cologne? Well, coconut oil has a nice smell to it. Who wears cologne, guys? It's 2023. A billion dollar industry, but a lot of people are wearing cologne. Or like a scent.

Maybe not cologne, but like a scent, you know, like an oil, a body oil. No. Coconut oil is a body oil, but it's,

it has, I mean, it has its own natural scent. It's true. That's true. Yeah. You've lost me, though.

I love, one of my things that I find most attractive in a man is a cologne. Like the cologne that he chooses if I like it, yes. I love a good cologne on a man.

I just feel like they're always so strong. See, here's the thing. I'm not going to lie. I have a very, very, very sensitive, like keen sense of smell very much. And I can recognize a beautiful scent, no doubt. But I almost always feel like I like that scent. I don't like it on a human. Like, I like humans to smell like humans.

And I'm not saying, like, oh, I like body odor either. I'm just like, be clean, please. Like, be clean. Yeah, yeah, I know what you know. I would prefer to just you, to not think about, I would prefer, I think, when it comes to a person to not really even think about smell because so often it can be something that's less pleasing,

but I think like, because it's not, yeah, so it's like, if anything, I've got to be honest, the slightest hint of rose, rose oil. Like the slightest hint of it to me is like the most beautiful smell. Okay, and then the other is, you know, like the sort of, what's that place called, body shop, or like there's the bath and body works? No, no, no, no, no. Bed bath and body works, isn't it?

Bath and body works, yeah. Bath and bodyworks? Um, there's like a vanilla smell that every teenage girl I knew back in the day wore. It was vanilla, sugar, something. Yeah. And every now and then when I smell it, I'm like, it's like, oh, I just, I just, I just, I just lost it and hit the mic. It really brings me back to being a teenager

and the smell of so many teenage girls I was around. And I loved that smell then because I was like, that's what a teenage girl smell like. You know, but I don't like it now. No. Bath and Body Works is so intense. Actually, so if I had to think of, like, one scent that transports me to middle school,

it's like Peer, Victoria's Secret Pear Bodylition. I just remember that being very popular. when I was in middle school. Everybody had that. Do you guys have thoughts on an age gap in a relationship someone wanted to know? This actually happens to me all the time and happened to me recently where I get on my soapbox

about something and I go really hard on it and then it turns out it affects someone in the group that I'm talking to personally. This happened to me recently and it was about age gaps and so I'm like trying to practice not having such strong opinions or not sharing such strong opinions. But I also think the reason I have such strong opinions is because I just have personal experience with it being like a young girl in my like 19, 20, 21 and being in relationships with older men, maybe like eight, nine year, seven, eight year

age gap. And when I was in it, I didn't think there was anything wrong with it. And I felt very mature and I thought it was an equal playing field and and I think those men have wonderful qualities yada yada yada but looking back now as an adult and now being the age that those men were I'm like oh hmm it definitely wasn't an even playing field no matter what no matter how lovely they were no matter how much they might have tried to make it that way I just I was not you were just so much more advanced. They can compete. You give them time to catch up.

No, I just, I think, especially with, if you're a woman and you're the younger one, I think there's just an inherent power dynamic that is not healthy. And I think it can be dangerous. Yeah. Really holding back. That you should have hurt me before. Thank you for sharing that, Sophie. The strong, I was going to say the only, it's probably not the only, but the strong

opinion that I have about it is that whatever applies to women applies to men and vice versa. So like if you feel like it's appropriate for a man to date a woman that's 10 years younger, then you should also feel that it's appropriate for a woman to date a man that's 10 years younger, but that doesn't seem to be like the case in society. So that's just my only thing. But in general, I feel like a five years in either direction has always felt the most comfortable to me. I feel like I've always wanted to get to know someone within my generation. But that's just me.

I'm not saying that has to apply to everyone, but that's what feels like it's like in the pocket. That was very measured and gentle. I really should have. No, no, no, I also don't have the experience that you've had. Let me pop off with some hot takes. I don't know. I mean, I can recall being 14, 15, 16, and all my girlfriends,

my friends who were girls, you know, at some point like dating a guy who might be 19 or 20 and at the time I was like I thought it was absurd but also trying to accept it as a norm and now that I'm older of course I'm like yeah no that's that's that ain't right you know

and then yeah you know once you're 25 and 30 maybe but then 30 and 40 like if you're 30 and 40 I think that's okay I agree with that you know I think and then if you're 40 and 50 40 and 60 I mean so it's all contextual

and I think when you're in but I think below 30 we have so much to learn from each other and I love I like the idea of people being the same age like below 30 I like that I don't know why

because it's something about equality you know yeah and then beyond that there's so many there's so much context that's needed just while we're on the topic of love none of the listeners asked this question but I have benefited from advice from both of you so I want to ask you guys a question

it's a very specific question but if you want to answer a broader question about love feel free The specific question that I have is when you, because you had previous relationships and then the person you married, sometimes it's that like you could have married a previous person, but you weren't ready. And sometimes it's just like, oh, you met the right person. But was there a quality or like a test that you had to overcome to be ready when the right person came in your life? And is there something that you've observed in other people? Like maybe it's something specific to you. But maybe there's also something universal.

So you've noticed that until someone X, Y, or Z, it's just not going to work out for them. Like, there's, like, some internal qualities that have to be there for you to be ready for marriage. I'm just curious about that. Totally, yeah. Well, because when I met Domino, she already had a son. The casual nature in which most relationships can start just wasn't there. And so it was pretty clear for me early on if I was going to go past any point, any at all. like I really wanted to

feel like you know I don't know if I would have said marriage I don't know what I would have said when I met her but I knew that something was changing for me already and by the way I was becoming a Baha'i and you know I mean I stopped drinking like no

like no drugs of any kind even though I wasn't ever like super into any of that just the importance of like fidelity just thinking about all I mean it's just all the things I already felt and knew were then

completely illuminated and highlighted and so it just became very clear to me like the importance of long lasting trusting relationships yeah I think for me there was something very

there was a very clear shift between previous relationships and David and that That was I made the decision to have a period of friendship first with the person that I might think that I thought maybe there could be something more because I hadn't done that in previous relationships and they were not working out. And I realized through like conversations with my dad specifically that the process was like initial attraction, immediately talking about it, deciding we wanted to, thinking that we were being very intentional, deciding like we want to get to know. each other with the idea of marriage in the future like just like very serious dating right away which meant that I was getting to know them in the dating process and it meant that I was already

becoming uh I was already falling in love and like maybe infatuation before I really knew them and so when things would come up maybe there would be like things that it became clear like oh we wouldn't be compatible in this way or I don't know how I feel about this quality this character trait. I was already so attached. And I decided after my, my last relationship before David, I really want to extend this period of friendship in getting to know someone because I don't want to put myself in that position again where I'm, I feel like not trapped necessarily. I never felt trapped, but that's what I was doing to myself. I was trapping myself in a situation that wasn't going to be good because I was so attached already.

And so I did that with David. We were friends for quite a while before we ever acknowledged that there were feelings, like the better part of a year. And I think that was crucial. I would suggest that to most people. It doesn't have to be the better part of a year. But just like give yourself time to actually get to know a person where there's low stakes, you know. That's maybe the hottest take of any ever that you're a proponent of the friend zone.

Yeah, I really am. And it's true. I think we, we, it's very hard to do that nowadays. It's very hard not to immediately launch into dating. I think the thing that I've been learning, something that I've previously felt is like I don't like people very often. But then when I do, I'm like, oh my God, I never feel this way. So let me just like open my heart wide open because this happens every five years or something.

So I feel like there's a couple related things. One is just like I just need to meet more people because there are so many great people. Like I should be feeling that way more often. I shouldn't be feeling that once every five years. I should be feeling that like every couple weeks. Like, oh, I'm kind of open. open to this person, let's see. Navva's entering her slutty era.

I want to proclaim it from the mountain. I was going to say the other day, Penn texted me. I mean, there was like a circumstantial context, but no context that morning. And he was like, have you entered your slutty era yet? And it was like, I woke up to this text. It was so funny. I laughed so hard. It was right on time.

It was right on time. It was perfect. So, yeah, so just like meeting people more often. And then I sort of agree with Sophie. Like, I don't know if I would call it just being friends, but I think like just low stakes. Like easy come, easy go. You don't have to get attached because if you're meeting a lot of people, you're not putting so much pressure on like this one person that you feel a connection with, I think you can be more detached. And I think you can make more clear-headed decisions from a detached place and not over-invest when it's like too soon. So that's what I'm trying to, that's what I'm trying to do. And we'll be right back. In the late 90s and early 2000s, Asian women were often reduced to overtly sexual and submissive caricatures. the geishas of the book-turned film Memoirs of a Geisha,

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exploring feminism, beauty, yellow fever, and the roles pop culture and colonialism played in shaping pervasive and destructive stereotypes about Asian women and their bodies. She recounts altering her body to conform to Western beauty standards, being treated by men like a set,

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because that's something we've mentioned a few times. The three of us are Baha'is. So we wanted to answer at least one question in that vein. Someone asked, how did each of you find or accept religion and how has it affected your view on life? So for me, I mean, I've found the Baha'i faith when I wasn't seeking out religion at all, but I was spiritually seeking, and I was staying with I was trying to learn

from a particular indigenous culture called a Kogi tribe, which is in Colombia, in the Sierra Madre Mountains, I believe, and so I was staying there. I met a Baha'i there, didn't even try to stay in touch, and then just over the years, ultimately we connected

over conversations that had to do with what is my own spiritual, and personal transformation have to do with that of society, the transformation of society, you know, what is my role in that and what is its role in changing me? And, you know, there is a Baha'i framework for that

very explicitly and implicitly. And that's, in a nutshell, in a nutshell, how I came to faith, well, to the Baha'i faith. And then faith is a larger thing, was always was just other than that it was very very vague i just want to say that pen tells this story

in more detail on duelipa's podcast at your service really beautifully i thought that episode was really beautiful i never told you but um yeah so if you want to hear more i tell it very in depth on bahai on um rain wilson was the host of a podcast called uh what is it bahai blog cast yeah yeah my in that episode i bet that's almost all we talk about in a way so if anybody's particularly interested. You can go check that out. My family have been Baha'is, my whole life. It was really when I was 18, 19 years old, I took a year off after high school and I went and spent a year volunteering at the Baha'i World Center in Northern Israel. I think before that I always thought like, oh, it's this something. It's a part

of my life and it will always be a part of my life. A very beautiful one, one I care very much about. But then it was during that year that I wanted it to become a more central. aspect of my life and sort of like a lens through which I saw most everything else because I realized this like beautiful aspect of the faith, something that comes up in the Baha'i community a lot, which you've talked about Pemba too, is this dual process of transformation, your own transformation, your personal transformation and also the transformation of your communities around you and the world around you. And that really resonated for me when I started to see like a way to actively live out faith.

Yeah, maybe I'll talk about the second part, which is how did it affect your view on life? Like, Sophie, I was born and raised Baha'i, so I don't know what I would have been like without it, but I feel like I'm so grateful to have the Baha'i faith. I feel, for me personally, I feel like I would be desolate without it. And it's like my, and I mean this like truly genuinely, like it's what I treasure the most. And I think a lot about how in this life there are a lot of things that are out of our control and that we don't have certitude about. And it's terrifying to know that the thing that you love the most can just be like ripped out of your life or you don't know the outcome of something.

But we all have sovereignty over our relationship with God. And I think that like nothing can change it except for you. And you have sovereignty over your standards. Like you can set the standards in your life and no one can betray them except for you no matter what your circumstances are. and I think that that's like the bedrock of life is to have sovereignty over these areas and so I like treasure my relationship with God and I try to set high standards

and when I fail them is when I feel the saddest and the most depressed and when I uphold them is when I feel the most confident and the most happy and so I love having a framework for making decisions and I love having something that is completely mine that no one can ever take from me and for me that's my faith

Hmm Yeah what she said I like that Yeah let's just Delete the other two Highlight delete Okay Final question

I thought this was such a fascinating question Props to whoever submitted it If someone gave you a box With everything you've lost What would be the first thing you'd look for My virginity It's a dumber that it sounds Smarter than it sounds

Where did you get that answer? You know, right now what it would be? It would be the friggin' needle on my record player. Right now. Because I really cherish being able to listen to records in a special way with, like, the nice system that I have. Can you replace it? Yeah. Yeah, it's just among, it's low on the list.

Yeah, yeah. Navajo, what's yours? You know, honestly, it's jewelry. I don't even know if this counts. It's not lost. It was stolen. But basically, I had a little, like, makeup bag. full of makeup and at some point in my life all I had no money but I had inherited like a few pieces

of gold jewelry from my grandma and my mom had given it to me on like a very special occasion and it was like everything that I was like all of my financial possession were just like these little pieces of jewelry and they were really special to me because they were my grandmas and someone stole it on a flight and I still think about that jewelry and I'll never be able to replace it and if I could get that back I would I would get it back that's awful um in our first year of marriage David and I went and visited my parents in Italy and we took these polaroids that were so good. And then we left them somewhere like by the pool for like an hour. We were staying somewhere.

And we went back and they were gone. And I swear it was the person who was like there was someone working there who took them. I really think he took them. And we asked. It's because they were so good. They were so good There's something creepy about that too Someone's stealing your poilerons

It was very weird This was so nice I feel like I did get to know you both A little bit better This was really enjoyable Thanks for everyone who submitted a question Nothing like an AMA An AUA

Let us know if you liked this episode And if you ever want us to do something like this again I'm always saying we should do Hose to only have a guest Stopi doesn't even want guests. She's like, let's get rid of the guests. Let's just be the three of us. It would help me make my case.

I'll print out those comments. Yeah, I'm interested in know if people find this interesting. Yeah. See you next time. Bye. Bye, proud crushers. We're not going to tell you the origin story.

You have to go there. Did we tell it accurately, though? I think so. Why would we not? Stitcher.