Podcrushed - Introducing: Don't Listen To Us

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

We’re so excited to share a new show from Lemonada Media, Don’t Listen To Us, an advice show for advice-skeptics and wisdom-lovers, hosted by Mandy Patinkin, Kathryn Grody, and their son Gideon.  Legendary actor Mandy (The Princess Bride, Homeland, Criminal Minds) is the consummate entertainer who shoots from the hip, stage actress Kathryn is the thoughtful connector who sees all the nuance, and Gideon is the brave soul keeping them on track (or at least trying). Together, Mandy and Kathryn have 40+ years of marriage, 140+ years of life experience, and a series of viral social media posts where Gideon interviews them and watches both chaos and wisdom ensue.   They don’t always agree on what advice to give—in fact, they rarely do. But they draw from their highs and lows as artists, parents, lovers, and humans, to give their unique take on real dilemmas submitted by you -- the listeners. Hang out with this family and you’ll walk away with insights you didn’t expect, stories you’ll want to repeat, and comfort knowing that you’re not alone in figuring out how to survive this fakakta world.   You’re about to hear the first episode from Don’t Listen To us. After you listen, head to: https://lemonada.lnk.to/DontListenToUsfd to hear the full episode and follow the show wherever you get your podcasts.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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It's called Don't Listen to Us, an advice show for advice skeptics and wisdom lovers. hosted by Mandy Patinkin, Catherine Grotie, and their son, Gideon. I am obsessed with this family. Guys, you've seen their TikToks, you've seen their Instagram reels, and now they have a podcast that's on Lemon Out of Media. That's the Mandy Patinkin, the legendary actor from the Princess Bride, Homeland, and Criminal Minds. He's the straight shooter. His wife, stage actress, Catherine, is the thoughtful connector.

And their son, Gideon, is the Wrangler, who keeps them most. on track. You might have seen their viral videos where Gideon interviews his parents and chaos, comedy, and surprising wisdom collide. It's the best. They don't always agree. In fact, they rarely do. But together, they bring humor, heart, and honesty to real listener dilemmas. Hang out with this family and you'll walk away with insights you didn't expect. Stories you'll want to repeat and comfort knowing that you're not alone. You're about to hear the first episode of don't listen to us, follow the show wherever you listen, or head to the show notes and click the link to hear more.

You can hear every episode of Don't Listen to us, add free with Lemonada Premium. Just tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or head to Lemonada Premium to subscribe on any other app. That's Lemonada Premium.com. It's Monday morning. in New York. We're a little excited? Are we going excited for your new radio experience? Yeah. How are you guys?

How are you doing? Okay, huh? Okay, I'm a little friend of Maddies. And dad's... Hi, I've never done a radio show before, but I'm here to have a good time. Dad seems like he's in a really good mood. How do you get him in a slightly less... Just turn the volume down.

try and go like this, but it doesn't work. Okay, Mom, Dad, where are we? We are. We're here. We're in America. I wasn't going to say that. Oh, sorry. I didn't want to lose listeners.

So we're in upstate, we're in some upstate state. Yeah. We're in the upstate region of some state. We're in Mom's Office? Yeah, this is really my safe space. Well, thanks for letting us come into your space, but I'm very happy you're here, huh? And we're here trying out our podcast, don't listen to us.

Our take it or leave it advice show with me, Gideon, Gideon, and my parents. And we're excited to be with you all and, you know, talk about some stuff. And be less alone in this crazy moment that we're all in together. Can we just introduce ourselves to our friends out there? Yeah, I think that's good. Who are we? I am Catherine Grody Pichinkin. I am an elder, Jewish elder.

I'm trying to ban the word. I am trying to get rid of the concept of a senior. I find it been there, done that. It wasn't my best year. I find it so insulting. Do you think of yourself more as an elder than an actress and a writer or a mom? Yeah, some days, honey, some days. Well, no, I'm an elder, actress, elder, wife, grandmother.

What are you before you're an elder? You're a late middle-aged person. What's the cutoff? Well, it depends. I used to think that... You said 80 is when you're old. I said 80 is when... Well, no, I said 80 is early elder and 90 is old.

I'm amending it. And dad, who are you? I'm dad. Okay. And who are you? I'm Gideon. There's son. At what birth order?

I am second of the Grotipotian clan. How do you think that's impacted you being the second? It's allowed me to watch all you crazy lunatics a little bit longer. You don't feel your crazy lunatic? You didn't inherit any of it? I think I'm about 43% less crazy than anyone else. I'm also known as Gramps. Gramps, yeah.

I consider that my new. Do you think of yourself now more as a grandfather or a father? As Gramps, as a grandfather's. Because you're not interested in anything I have to say at this point, are you? I'm here doing this podcast with you. Well, I just thought you needed to kill the day. Oh, my God. There's so many other ways I could kill the day.

Moving right along. Moving along. So we sent a message out to our little. community online on on social media wanting to hear from people their questions looking for advice

having experiences what they want to talk about and you guys like talking to people most of the time I love talking to people you love it all the time dad loves it

on occasion so let's ease in with a relationship dynamic that may be familiar to a lot of listeners here's our first voice note from a couple Kate and Keith. Hello?

Oh, I think this is going now. So what's our, Keith? Hey, what's our question? I think it was something about how to deal with me. No, I think the question was, so we're sitting out here on our deck enjoying this Friday afternoon, and I was telling Keith my husband of 20 years

that bugs the shit out of me when he says something competently. we were on the trail earlier today. We spent the day in the forest and I took a picture of a of a moth, a beautiful moth. And I asked you what kind of moth I was. I saw and you said it was with like utter confidence. You said it was an emperor moth. Yeah. And it was an emperor moth. No, it wasn't an emperor moth. It was a type of emperor moth. No, it was a silk moth. So what bugs me is that he'll say things. No, it's, he will say things with, he will say things with touch confidence. And then when I realized he's like talking out of his ass, like it could be

the emperor moth, it could be the plumbing issue, it could be electrical. But anyway, I guess our question is, how do you guys manage when one person speaks confidently out of their ass, but they're actually not right or correct? Was it an emperor? It was not an emperor moth. It was a type of emperor. No, it wasn't. It was a soak moth. Look it up. Yeah, what's your advice for how they should deal with this going further into their years? You guys are, what, 40 years? 47. 47, 45 official.

What do you mean? It's 47. Honey, we will side by their 45. It's not just from marriage. It's from hello. Okay, from hello is 47. I think, Kate, you pick and choose which is important to be corrective about and which doesn't really matter. you know and and how intense the correction is you know how do you feel you do with that uh it depends yeah how do you feel you do with that dad i um i feel that i have actually

been at fault as the person who had to be right in the past but as i got older and in and you know i And it's like, to me, life is pandemic to today, and then there was pre-pandemic. And I would say the pandemic improved my behavior exponentially. Wow. I became nicer in every way imaginable, more agreeable. I listened better. I agreed more often. I didn't feel I had to win because we had to be together alone for God knows how long.

it was like a light switch. Do you feel you also, do you feel you also became kinder to yourself? Uh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Not at all. But I think that. But I did become a better person to be with for mom. Yeah. And I appreciated that. Yeah. Yeah. I cleaned up more. I, you know, I just, we each pulled our weight more and realized. And, and then, you know, as pandemic faded, assolddom came back on both our parts, I must say. But I think if Kate was able just to pick and choose when she needs to correct and when she can let it go and maybe show him the information later in a different form. I love that.

And just keep a sense of humor. Maybe the Emperor Moth wouldn't be the one to dig into. Yeah, maybe not. Maybe not right at that moment. excellent um i love that let's go to our next uh question that was your first question that was right yeah it's not so hard a little strange little strange because i thought the people were live but they weren't that was just their question but they sounded so live we'll let you know if someone's laugh um okay this next uh this next one is another voice note from karl

Hi, this is Carl from Missoula, Montana. I got a question for you. I use a bidet. Why don't more Americans use bidets? Is there something wrong with us? Is American toileting barbaric? Looking forward to what you have to say. Thanks.

What was, I don't think I just said. Why don't play it again, would you? He uses a bidet. Oh. And he's asking if American toileting is barbaric. Oh, God. without bidetes. Yeah. I couldn't agree more, Carl. I've been using a bidet since birth. That is not true. I got you your first bidet for Hanukkah. Yeah. It is. And I beloved it.

And there was an article about it recently. I've beloved by a bidet. I mean, I don't think it's, you know, given people's limited options all over the world on toileting, I think just a regular toilet is a lucky thing to have. And if you're really lucky, then you have a bidet. But I don't think. it's barbaric not to have one i i have a particular affinity toward the toilet paper um you grab it from the the paper is loose on top hanging down sure so you it's not coming from the back and i'm i really get pissed off forget the badet i i forgive the pun but but i really get pissed off when people come stay in my home and they switch the way the toilet papers on the roll. Oh yeah. I think that's a lot of nerve. That sounds really difficult. Well, it is difficult. Yeah. I'm, I'm, uh, I don't understand why someone would do that. I mean, I've lived in places and travel in places where there is no particular toilet available. So I have a large range of acceptability about this, you know? Do you guys, do you

guys remember when I got you that bidet toilet for Hanukkah? You were very skeptical. And you really didn't know about this whole thing. And then you used it once or twice. And the next thing I knew you had it in every bathroom in your house. Yeah, well, that's mostly for the warming aspect of it in the winter, which is really wonderful. The warm seat. You don't use the spray feature? No, never. What? I do on occasion. That is completely insane. Yeah. We do a famous movie star who didn't use toilet paper yeah very famous of gorgeous like one of the most beautiful movie stars on the what did they use newspaper it was an ecological save oh my god yeah i don't even know this is really where to begin yeah really yeah and they did they flush the newspaper uh or maybe

so yeah i never i was told this by mom yeah i wasn't uh i wasn't there yeah wow okay okay this next one we're going to pivot a little bit and this one came in through email so mom i'm going to hand this to you to read out um our question from ellis okay you know in the future i would love a little button so that when i have to cough i can silence my mic so it's not annoying people okay what is this this is a this is a letter that came from somebody right our next question came in from email from Ellis, and mom's going to read it out for us. Dear Mandy and Catherine, I need advice from some nice Jewish parents about coming out as trans to my nice Jewish dad. I'm ready to do it, and I want to do it, and I'm 99% sure my dad

will be accepting of it, but I just can't. I know that a big part of what's blocking me is that I've been hiding this part of myself for nearly 50 years, and I no longer know how to be anyone other than this version of myself that everyone else knows. When you're an eldest daughter as I was raised to be, you learn from an early age that you are the family glue. Everyone depends on you for everything. And now, after a half century, it feels impossible to stand up and say, hey, this is something I need to do for myself and myself alone. There's a dream I have sometimes where I'm trying to take off a shirt and I just can't figure out how to do it. The sleeves are too tight. The neck hole is too small to fit over my head. The body keeps getting stuck up around my ribs or my armpits

and I just get trapped in this suffocating fabric until I wake up gasping. If my dreams worked in Hollywood, they get laughed out of the room for being too on the nose. What I need metaphorically are scissors. Please tell me where I can find my scissors. How can I cut my way out of this? Thank you so much for considering my question, Ellis. Can I see that? Wow. Thanks, Alice. Thank you, Ellis. I, you know, we have a, our family motto is an E. Cummings poem that is to be yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day means to fight the hardest battle that any human being can fight and never stop fighting and I have great empathy that you have felt discomfort in being able to be who you are for 50

years and if you're 99% sure that your dad will be supportive I think you should act on that and it sounds like you have a loving family and you will be the glue anyway you know what comes up for you dad with that i have a little faith in your father tell him he's been your father since the beginning if he has a single cell of brain matter in his skull, he will be loving toward you, whether he means it or not. And he'll learn to mean it if he doesn't initially mean it. But give him some time and space and trust him. And he'll feel that. But don't hide it from your father. It doesn't bode well for both of you, for the long run. You'll need each other more and more as time goes on. And if you have the courage,

to ask the hardest question, which is, can you love me the way I am, no matter what? Then he'll find it, even if he doesn't find it at that exact moment. Give him a shot. Amen. Thank you, Ellis. Thank you for asking us that question. Yeah. I just had this image, Alice, of you just handing your dad the scissors and having him, you know, say, let me help you.

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We're back. I love that product. We're back. And just do one that says that? And we're back. Great. He's been controlling my son. Everyone's doing great. Okay, so mom, dad, this round will be joined by live callers. Are we ready for this? I think you're, yeah. I don't think we're ready. It's just a person.

You'll be great. Next, we have Lori from Portland. So first we're going to hear Lori's question, and then she'll be on the line with us. Hi, Mandy and Catherine. Okay, here goes nothing. I'm a 61-year-old woman, although I'm told I look about 10 to 15 years younger on good days. I have a beautiful 30-year-old daughter. I've been married and divorced and married and divorced.

You get the picture. I've lost in relationships and also through grief, having lost my father and my brother three months apart just five years ago, my most important family relationships. I've gone from a person who loved every part of life to someone who really doesn't love anything. except that beautiful daughter of mine. The situation in the country and the world hasn't helped, and I just feel like an empty shelf sometimes. Please don't think this is a cry for help. I'm fine.

I just miss having that capacity to actually open up and love another person or be willing to, I guess. How do I get my mojo back and open up my heart again? Please don't say dating apps. I appreciate you, Lori. So we've got Lori on the line. Hi, Lori. Hi, Lori. Hi, Lori. I'm good. I'm good. I want to answer your question first. I remember I was mine in my own business. And I was in, oh, I was about, what was 19 or 20? And we just moved a lot of our friends in New York out of you all moved everybody around. And then I ended up being in a play with a young lady that was a, you know, interested in playing with me on more than just the stage. And I fell head over heels with this person.

And then we did the play, and we had a relationship in the play together. And then in the middle of the play, she dumped me. And I was devastated. I had to finish the play. The director came up and go, why are you crying all the time? What's going on? And I went, oh, my God. Anyway, I made it through it.

And then one day, about nine months later, I'm at a bar on Columbus. Avenue with my buddy Leo. And he said to me, Leo Bermister, God rest his soul, a wonderful actor, look him up. You've seen him in a million movies. But I said, I don't get it, man. I just don't get it. I don't get it. I just don't get it. And she act like she loved me. And then all of a sudden she doesn't. I just don't get it. And I'm like 22. And he goes, but she did love you. She didn't love you your way. But she loved you her way. She loved you. it was her way not your way and it set me free my wife's looking at me like no i'm not making sense well what else is new but but i but it did set me free and i i just wanted to preserve the

ability to feel and be in love again as opposed to be armored and lock my heart in a steel chest where I couldn't get that spoon and break out of the prison of loneliness. And Leo saved my life that day over that hamburger. And then I met Catherine down the road. And why can't that happen to you? Loi, how are you feeling today? I think, well, I feel fine. Again, I want to reiterate, I'm fine.

But what spurred my question was a recent meet-cute situation that I had where I actually did enjoy the company of a gentleman that I talked to at an event about a month ago, and it seemed like a connection. But we parted ways with only each other's first names and occupations. And I came home thinking, what is this feeling? I haven't had this feeling in a long time. But there was this intangible barrier, like you were just saying, Mandy. It just kept me from going further with it and asking if he'd like to continue the conversation over coffee.

and that barrier is my heart, right? It's like locked, and I just can't figure out a way to open it. Well, Lori, it's a couple things. First of all, you're pretty resilient. You know, there's a line I love. Would you rather have an unused heart or a broken one? And you've been brave enough twice, and you still have a lot of love for your kid. And there's that Japanese thing, I think it's

called Kutsuchi? Kitsugi, I think. Where you take broken things and mend them back together with gold leafs. Yes. You know? And if you can feel despair, you can also feel joy, because you can still feel something so you're not numb, you know? And this is a really hard time in history to live through.

And I try very hard not to start the day with the headlines, you know, but with a long view or start the day with joy. or beauty end the day that way and fight you know the good fights whatever they mean to you but um 61 you got a long way to go and you're lucky if you're you know in great shape and i would say just you know don't even think of yourself as armored you know practice um imagining that heart of years it's been well used and well hurt but that it's still beating do you know yeah Lori listen to me we've been doing this for about 15 20 minutes we're making the pilot are you aware of that yes of our podcast yes this is the very first time we're doing it so we're all trying to figure out

what's this like do we like it I'm really concerned that you know Lori calls and she's like worried about having a relationship I want her to have fun well why don't you know ask Lori are you having fun I yes and that is why so here's the thing I thought, who better to ask than you and Catherine? Because you have been together as long as you have, you have navigated a relationship. And I look to people like yourselves for wisdom and guidance. That's why. I mean, my life is good.

Don't get me wrong. I have a good life. I have a good career. But could it be better with love? Of course it could. So who do I look to as an authority on that subject? Somebody who has traversed these things like you, like you too. Can you define love, Lori?

Can you define love to me? Can you define love to me, Lori? That's pretty philosophical. Forget it. Don't even try. It's undefinable. Lori, it's undefinable. Right.

You know, I don't have a fucking clue what it is. I'd tell you what Catherine always said about the two of us. Because we've been through some horse shit, you know. It's never me. I've been perfect. But on occasion, she's had problems. But we make each other laugh. That's what we do.

And we can get pretty ugly. but we get so ugly that we start almost laughing at it at some point and that's how we've survived and what i wish for you is to never call another podcast trying to fix your relationship join the human race we're all fucked up we all have messed up relationship just have a great time have a great day go get a double scoop of your favorite ice cream and uh and you know and and um get a dog don't try to be with a person for fuck sake get a dog there you go lorry And he distills it into some ice cream and a dog, which could work. I love my dog.

I mean, I love my wife too, but I love my dog more. Yeah, there's no question that he loves his dog more, Lauren. I would say, it sounds to me like you have your mojo, you know. You have friends that you have a good time with. You like your job. You have a loving kid. You live in a great city, you know. And it's like maybe not focus.

much on what isn't there and just really give yourself a lot of joy in the day and you know be open to to see what happens instead of actively looking for it every minute around the corner just love yourself and probably somebody to love you soon call a friend or call therapist or call back to our very successful podcast and we'll give you some more advice but i'm calling my therapist 24-7 i got a bill that could pay for a small country don't hesitate to ask for help because it's hard being alive and if you think you're the only one who's having a hard time well you're not you're not the everybody we're all having a hard time this thing being alive it's a motherfucker you know and just uh just join the club get a dog and eat some chocolate

okay talk eat some chocolate double scoop for your favorite ice cream do you have any advice for us before you go uh no i think you're both great i appreciate you don't give up your day job Catherine, Mandy, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Cooler days call for layers. And Quinn's is my go-to for quality essentials that feel cozy, look refined, and won't blow your budget. Because the best layers are quality layers that last. Picture yourself in $50 Mongolian cashmere or premium denim that fits like a dream. These are the pieces that will turn into your fall uniform starting now. Because Quinn's partners directly with top tier ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. They deliver luxury quality pieces at half the price of

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Do you have any questions you want to ask me as a son to a father? Can I help you? Actually, I have a question for you. Yes. About father to son. Okay, there you go. Then we're in the right zone. How do you impart, like, wisdom?

to adult children without sounding naggy or preachy? I think that is one of the hardest things on earth is how to give adult children any advice and not feel dismissed or that you're being intrusive. I try to be really choosy with what I give advice on. And also the dynamics, the tables turn. And you give me much more advice than I give you these. Yeah, I agree. I learn more from my two sons than I have to teach them. Yeah. So it really, it really switches, but it still feels a little strange not to be able to say something.

But usually I get in big trouble with you if I suggest something, especially if it has to do with any medical, anything. Yeah. I mean, what's your advice then to your children on how to give you advice that doesn't sound naggy or preachy? Or patronizing. That's a good question. Well, you know, I don't think there's an answer. You can buy it a little book at the checkout stand at the grocery store. Otherwise, I think everybody'd know how to do it. Mom became a part of a group called Usual Suspects, I believe, at the what theater was that? New York Theater Workshop, where you were, you constantly preached a method of criticizing after reading of a new play.

Oh, that's. Explain how you did that. What is that? It's Deb Lerman's critical response theory. Yeah, give it. Yeah, well, you say a good thing first, and then you ask people, is there any neutral response, which I find impossible for any member of this family to have a neutral question. Like instead of, you know, why did you choose that hideous color green to cover your couch with,

you say, what were you thinking of the color green in that material? And then when do you give the criticism after the neutral? If somebody wants it. Yeah, and then the criticism, oftentimes people are very wounded by it. You know, you can have a mountain of good things. One little negative thing happens in human beings just trash themselves. Well, that's particularly you, honey. That's why we call it Mandy Math, you know.

You think I'm unique in the human race with this? I think you are more sensitive and 10 great things can happen. And if one shit thing happens, that one has more power. But that is a phenomenon the world over. Yeah, that is a phenomenon. I mean, we all experience that. But I actually think that's less with you, Gidd, than anybody I know. almost. Well, that's because I've had these parents who maybe feel that greatly. I mean, I've learned

feel what greatly. The sensitivity of holding on to the one negative comment that happens. You can do a concert and have the 10,000 people say you're a genius. And one person goes, yeah, why'd you choose that song? Who said that? Larry. And then that's what sticks for you. But that's the great advantage of sometimes watching your parents struggle with things. If you're lucky, you get to not repeat some of that stuff and go a different way. I was trained watching you guys fixate on a negative thing, you know, in so many ways that, and it never really benefit you. That allowed me to do that a little bit less.

I want to hold that thought. Can I say one other three before you move on? Sure. That was one of the most extraordinary. That was the most extraordinary conversation I felt I ever had with you. We were out front of our apartment in New York, and we were walking. And you were doing your work, and we were kind of talking shop about work. And you were asking me questions.

And then all of a sudden, you just showed me your arms, and you had your sleeves rolled up or you had a T-shirt on, and you had goosebumps. You see, Dad, look. You said, Dad, look, see, I got goosebumps, all over my arms. because you said, I just realized that I spent my life watching you, do wonderful work, and then you would beat yourself up thinking something wasn't perfect or right. And I just learned that that was insane and worthless. And I couldn't understand why you did it.

So I didn't do that for myself. Yeah, because I burst into tears because I finally realized. that it had some worth that all of that self-torture I put myself through it had worth that it taught you never to do that. Yeah.

And even now when I retell it, I just am grateful that it had some value that it kept you from being stupid. Well, this is a thing in one way or another that I remind you of every 18 months or a couple of years because it's easy to forget. I think human beings are the stupidest creatures on the planet.

I'm getting dumber and dumber. But I think your ability to be emotionally open with your family and your children, even through struggling, even through anxieties and struggles, allows those around you to take away those lessons. There's a lot of parents and a lot of men in particular who have that, who feel all those things, but just keep it all bottled up. And you never get to see that as a kid and you never get to analyze, okay, what did that? What did that give my dad? What did it take away from him? And so, yeah, some of your biggest struggles in life have been my biggest benefits because I've gotten to watch what's helped you and what hasn't. And you can't imagine what kind of a gift that is to me to know that I guess I would think of them as mistakes that I couldn't help because it's just who I was then, that actually had value.

and I couldn't see it until that day. I don't need to imagine it. I know you very well. Yeah, yeah. And I, it's, yeah, it feels great being able to share that with you. I adore you. This is a new weird phenomenon, Mandy figured out that when he says that to my mom, she laughs for five minutes. Every time.

It's like laughing guests when I say those words to her. It really, how does it, it keeps working. I adore you. It's really. It's just irony. Irony. Please ask us another. Does anybody else?

Yes, Pat has a question. Oh, Pat, good, lucky. Pat was curious, what's something you change your mind about in your older years? Wow. Sex. Yeah. that's a good one yeah i a friend it was actually i'll say it was it was claire daines's mom told her i think it was her mom that she said sex is the glue of a relationship and i think that is initially

got some validity but i can say for a fact as you get older it's not that sex isn't nice or feels good and all of that but it has nothing to do with being the glued to our relationship. Our relationship is the glue to our relationship. Time is the glue to our relationship. History. I don't even have words. Just, uh... Seems like you have words. No, I mean, everything that we've lived is the, is the glue to our relationship. But I'm not criticizing Claire's mom. I think it's a valid statement at a certain point, but that has changed that I cherish so many things far more than that. Something I've changed my mind about.

I think I've been forced to reconsider what I'm in control of and not in control of in terms of getting older until very recently I really felt all aging stuff was just bullshit and that I was in charge of how I was going to do this and I was not going to do it like other people because I was so special and I'm finding more empathy for some of the absolute physiological challenge that may happen to some people 10 years earlier and some 10 years later, you know. I'm sort of stepping over the line of being defensive about, don't make an assumption about me because I have white hair and I can do anything you can do and thinking, hmm, I'm making some adaptations and I'm trying to think of it as not surrendering.

I had an interesting experience with you recently where you were. were getting nervous about doing a show in Singapore. Oh, right. That was quite a physical movement piece. You were worried about a 17-hour flight. Right. And getting up on a table and dancing and getting knocked over by people moving around backstage.

In the dark. In the dark. And you were really scared in a way of feeling older. Like 78 is not 75. It is. And I feel 100 years older than 75. It's weird. And it was very.

tricky for me in that moment whether to say, yeah, do whatever makes you feel safe and take care of yourself versus do the fucking thing. You're a person who even at this age is very hungry for

new experiences and is thriving off of connections and doing projects with other people where whatever you're doing, you're just trying to make it as good as possible. And I was still attached to that piece of the conversation, you know, making that important than anything else. But we hung up from that conversation for the first time. I was like, oh, I don't know if that's

good advice. Like, how old are you? I don't want to push you into your crumbull. I think it's interesting the ways in which adult children deal with their aging parents or not. You know what I mean? And I'm very glad I went to Singapore and I'm very glad you encouraged me. And I think if I ever really felt there was something that was really not worth the risk, I would listen to that. But I think I'd rather err on the side of risk and new experience. Yeah. And that's why, I mean, at the end of that conversation, I was like, well, like, how would I feel if she did fall off the table and die? I was like, well, she'd be doing a very Gaffin thing and she's doing a show.

with amazing people and you know who else in our family has taught us this lesson someone in our family has taught us this consciously or unconsciously we've had discussions about it what's the lesson of doing the risk yeah yeah yeah being free do the risk live our dog becky oh because the idea was until we found the satellite collar so she wouldn't go over the driveway and get hit by car. Yeah. That, and she's been porcupine five times, I think, and taken to the emergency hospital. Yeah. But, but, um, but she has this place to run around. And, and she could, there are coyotes, their porcupines, there are things that could happen. But we always said, she's had the great life. She's having a great life. And even if she got taken out, she got taking out,

do she got taken out doing loving her life well and that's i always said i wanted to go out you know mid conversation and you said mid gesticulation so i want to be as alive as i can but it's only this year that i i've been very very lucky you know so you want to you want to die mid conversation mid gesticulation so that's like like a heart attack or like an anvil falling on your head or something i mean i just like to go i guess mid living you know not not not diminished to the point where I don't know where I am or don't know things. And it is, it takes a kind of courage that I didn't realize before. You know, I understand more than I ever did, the resigning, you know,

the submission to an idea of how you're supposed to be older. because it takes more energy. You don't have this image of a battery, you know, that you're born with this battery. And you don't even know it. It just goes 24-7. And then all of a sudden, just recently I suddenly heard this, and I said, where the hell is that coming from?

And it's me. And it's my battery. And it's saying, you need to recharge me. You need to take care of me for the first time. It's called plug me in by taking a nap. I never took a nap in my life. was not interested, didn't need to. Dad needed naps when he was 25.

I did not need a nap until I was 78, you know. There have been incredible people that are really thrilling to hear about how they're loving being 94. Yes, they miss not driving anymore, but everything else is fuller, greater, more relaxed, et cetera, you know. And there's a lot of encouragement and a lot of wisdom. as opposed to denial and just, you know, shelving people of a certain age. Yeah. You know, and a lot of unhappy 20-year-olds, you know, that's for sure. Yeah.

Oh, thanks, guys. I would like to just advise our audiences to listen to what my wife just said. That's great advice, Dad. And not to listen to the title that says, don't listen to us. Listen to Catherine, not this. I would like now in front of all of you to just ask my beloved son, if I ever have a suggestion about a medical expert that it might behoove him to say, you know what, thanks for that.

I'm going to write down that information in case I ever need it. I do say that, but you are out of control. I sneeze and I get 23 contacts for your nose. and throat doctor and an eye doctor and a foot doctor and a, you were on your way because you couldn't stop your nose from bleeding. And I said you might want to see a good ENT person instead of a person up here that didn't find a tick in the dad's eardrum. I'd like to thank you so much for all of your suggestions. And I'll be taking all of them. All right. Do you guys know what time it is? And I leave you with this thought.

It's a dollar for a minute, just a minute of my time. The maximum is 50 and the medium's your mind. The minute that you get here and the door begins to close. Clock starts a rolling so you best be on your toes. We can talk about your mother and nail it to the wall. I call your schizophrenic and I'll teach you how to crawl. For only $50, I'll explain to your nuts and you'll thank me and your pain because I made you spill your guts. I'm a Magnacum from Harvard, I'm seven fountain pens.

I live in Nova Scotia on the weekends for a tan. I own a new Mercedes a camper and a van But it's the simple things in life That make a man a man Crazy people La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la ah Hey now Oh yeah

See you next week Would you license that original number to this show for an affordable an affordable, or can we not afford, we probably can't afford your song. You need to talk to my people. You're people. Thanks for all the callers. We want to hear from you, more questions, stories, advice for us, things you're thinking about.

You can send an email to Ask Mandy and Catherine at gmail.com. That's Catherine, K-A-T-H-R-Y-N, or check out socials for an easy way to send a voice note, and thank you so much for being here and tuning in. And let's be perfectly clear, don't listen to us. And if you've been listening, you've learned that lesson. Don't Listen to Us is a Lemonada Media Original, hosted by Mandy Patinkin, Catherine Grody, and Gideon, Gideon, created by Katrina Onstad, Debbie Pacheco, and Gideon, Gideon. Executive producers are Catherine Grotty, Gideon Gideon Gideon Gideon Gretton, Andy Paddenkin, Katrina Onstad, Debbie Pacheco, Jessica Cordova Kramer, and Stephanie Whittles Wax. Our engineer is Ryan Derringer of Welterweight Sound, video and audio production by Mark Whiteway of Bellows Media.

Thanks to Lemonada's lead engineer, Ivan Kureev. If you haven't subscribed to Lemonada Media Premium yet, now's the perfect time. You can hear, don't listen to us completely. ad-free. Plus, you'll unlock exclusive bonus content like behind-the-scenes conversations, questions so weird they didn't make it on air, Becky the Dog, shenanigans,

and more. Just tap the subscribe button on Apple Podcasts. Head to Lemonada Premium.com to subscribe on any other app or listen ad-free on Amazon Music with your prime membership. That's Lemonada Premium.com. Don't miss out.

We want to be really clear, we are not doctors or licensed therapists, just people with a lot of opinions. If you're facing a serious issue, especially related to mental health or addiction, we strongly encourage you to speak with a qualified professional. You are not alone. You deserve real help, not just a podcast. Hey, everybody, I just want to remind you that my beautiful wife's play that she wrote and performs a one-woman show called The Unexpected Third, then there's some more

of the title that I can't remember. The rest is a radical rollicking rumination on the optimism of staying alive. Also known as the unexpected third. It's going to be in Malvern, Pennsylvania, for quite a number of weeks. How long? September 17th to October 19th, and Malvern is just outside Philadelphia. Right. So it's not far as like a suburb. I'm telling you, I saw an early rendition of this play in a rehearsal studio with nothing but neon lights on the ceiling, and it blew me away and everyone else in the room. I obviously am prejudice. I'm a fan of my wife. She's written many things, all wonderful,

but this one, I swear to you, you will not be disappointed. It takes the cake. It is her gift to us all. Come see it. Yeah. It's my favorite show. Mom is having to suffer through us. It's very uncomfortable sitting and hearing this,

and I'm a nervous wreck. You'll never like it as much as you do. Yes, he will. That means it's going to be good. She's a total actress in this way, always worried. The unexpected third at the People's Light Theater in Malvern, Pennsylvania, from September 17th to October 19th. Starring Catherine Grody, the one and only. It's a wonderful place.

Hey there, Lemonada listeners. This is Penn and Nava from Podcrushed. We're just dropping in to say that our new book, Crushmore, Essays on Love, Loss, and Coming of Age is officially out now. everywhere you get books. After several years of putting our guests in the hot seat, we ourselves sat down and mined the very memories we've spent years trying to forget. Our pain, your pleasure.

You can also listen to the audiobook, which includes Navakrying, Sophie sang, and me getting really close to the mic like this and just talking slowly, assuredly, giving you exactly what you want and need. Crushmore is out now. Go, go, go. Go, go.

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