Podcrushed - Introducing: Funny Cuz It's True with Elyse Myers

Episode Date: November 23, 2022

If you are enjoying Podcrushed, there’s another series that we just know you’re going to love. After first going viral on TikTok by telling the story of how she got stuck buying 100 tacos on a first date, Elyse Myers now has millions of eyeballs watching her videos daily. Each week on Funny Cuz It’s True, Elyse sits down with her favorite creators, friends and comedians to find the stories that have stuck with them and changed their lives in small ways. She wants to know how they handled these situations and learned to laugh about them years later.   In this episode, legendary director, writer, and actor Paul Feig joins Elyse to talk about Elyse’s first kiss, and Paul's own awkward romances (like the ones that inspired his show "Freaks and Geeks”). Plus, Paul shares his experiences from “The Office.”   To hear more Funny Cuz it’s True, head to https://link.chtbl.com/funnycuzitstruewithelysemyers Follow Podcrushed on socials! TwitterTiktokInstagramSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada Hey, it's me, Penn Badgley, host of Pod Crushed. We will be back next week with a brand new episode of your favorite podcrushed. But today, we've got something a little different for you. I want to introduce you all to one of my new favorite podcasts. It's called Funny Because It's True, and it's hosted by Elise Myers, whose name you might recognize because she was a guest on Podcrushed, and, you know, she's really blown up in her own right.

Elise is incredibly authentic. In an age of celebrities, influencers, actors, she really is, I think, a ray of light. And she's very, very, very funny, very relatable, extra. So today I'm sharing an episode of Funny Because It's True with Elise Myers. Take a listen. And we'll see you next week for a brand new episode of Podcrush. Does anyone else ever get that nagging feeling that their dog might be?

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its design with Louis' health and happiness in mind. Serve nom nom nom as a complete and balanced meal or is a tasty and healthy addition to your dog's current diet. My dogs are like, my children, literally, which is why I'm committed to giving them only the best. Hold on. Let me start again because I've only been talking about Louis. Louis is my bait. Louis, you might have heard him growl just now. Louis is my little baby. And I'm committed to only giving him the best. I love that nom nom recipes contain wholesome nutrient rich food, meat that looks like meat and veggies that look like veggies because shocker, they are. Louis has been going absolutely nuts for the lamb pilaf. I have to confess that he's never had anything like it and he cannot get enough.

So he's a lampy laugh guy. Keep mealtime exciting with NomNum, available at your local pet smart store or at Chewy. Learn more at trynom.com slash podcrushed, spelled try n-o-m.com slash podcrushed. A 15-year-old girl who chewed through a rope to escape a serial killer. I used my front teeth to saw on the rope in my mouth. He's been convicted of murdering two young women, but suspected of many more. Maybe there's another one in that area. And now, new leads that could solve these cold cases.

They could be a victim that we have no idea he killed. Stolen voices of Dole Valley breaks the silence on August 19th. Follow us now so you don't miss an episode. kiss? Great question. I would love to tell you. I was lucky enough to share my first kiss with someone that quickly became my best friend and favorite person, but it didn't actually end up happening until I was in the 10th grade. So to fully understand why this was such a big deal, we are going to have to go back to the 6th grade. He was one of those people that was so hot, but so nerdy all at the same time, and he knew it, but not in like a cocky way, just like a self-aware kind of way where he

definitely knew he held the keys to literally every kingdom but used them wisely. This was the man I had a crush on for like the majority of my life up until this point. But unfortunately, he did not have a crush on me. So we just became best friends. We end up transitioning from like a crusher, crushy type situation to like a full blown best friendship. I'm talking movie marathons, epic walks, phone calls about gossip, photo shoots with someone's random digital camera and like a pile of rocks in your neighborhood that you think look really artsy, the whole shebang. This went on for years, and there were moments where I was like, this is all I need. As time went on, feelings got like a little confusing.

I liked him, then he liked me, then we liked each other, but we didn't want to. It was like the picture-perfect young adult coming-of-age love story. I literally couldn't have written it better if I tried. So after hearing just date already enough times from our close friends and family, we finally dated. Fine, we're dating, reluctantly, we're dating. But the weirdest part was it just wasn't weird because nothing changed. The thing that's like supposed to change where you're like playing kissy face and finding excuses to be alone so you can like make out for as long as you can possibly hold your breath. Yeah, none of that existed because we simply really were just best friends.

But after answering the same question over and over and over again with like, no, we haven't kissed yet. Thank you so much for asking. We just had to call a business meeting. Essentially we just sat each other down and we were like, listen. This is not good for our brand. People are going to start wondering why we haven't kissed yet. We have to kiss at some point. Yes, we both agreed.

It has to happen soon. So Valentine's Day rolls around, and we both decide this is a convenient time to have our first kiss. So we get dropped off to like a romantic pizza dinner by his parents, by the way. And when I tell you that no words were spoken at this dinner, no words. complete silence. Just us eating pizza in silence. I don't think either of us could have fathom talking about anything other than this, like, this impending anxiety of us having our first kiss. But the only thing weirder than not talking at all would be to talk about your upcoming first kiss with the person you will literally be kissing sitting across the table from you. So it was radio

silence as we launched on this pizza. His dad picks us up from dinner and drives us back to my mom's apartment where the kiss for sure will be going down. I know it. His dad knows it. Strangers like passing us on the street can probably tell that there will be having a first kiss in like the general vicinity. You can just feel it in the air. It's horrible. We get out of the car and we walk into the apartment complex. We ride up the elevator in complete silence, by the way. And I'm just like immediately regretting that my mom chose the apartment. That's like the furthest possible point from the elevator. That 45 second walk felt like an absolute eternity. We finally get to the door, and I think I say something out loud to the effect of like,

well, here it is, the moment we've been waiting for. Without skipping a beat, he pulls chapstick out of his left pocket. He does a little spin move away from me and puts the chapstick on facing away, and then spins right back to me. By the way, that spin had like more finesse than I will ever know in my entire life. to buy us more time he offered me chapstick and i was so nervous i think i like gestured towards it like nah i'm trying to quit thank you so much so finally i just said out loud okay here it goes i leaned in because if i did not get this over with soon i would be dying a human being that did

not ever get kissed it was now or never it was never going to happen if it wasn't now so i just leaned in and our lips touched we hold them for two seconds one mississippi to mississippi and we pull away boom kissed was it great i don't know but we did it and we did it four more times after that and then we broke up because we don't really like kissing so thank you hello and welcome to my very first episode of funny because it's true i'm elise meyers we did it i made the podcast you found it and we made it and it's happening and this is it right now this is the first episode and this is my theme song. Great. Okay, actually, can you just pretend that you're listening to a fully complete theme song here?

I got really in my head, and I tried to make it perfect, and I couldn't. So this is going to be the theme song right here. Listen, this has been a journey, and I have been a little nervous and a little scared, but we're here, and I'm so happy about it, and I've already said it, but I'm going to say it again, it's happening. Whether we want it or not, it's happening. Okay, perfect. The process of this whole thing, doing things scared, that's what we're going to talk about. Each week on this show, I'm talking to comedians, pop culture icons, and people I think you just need to hear from about the not so funny moments that have become funny over time. Because I got to say, when you're sitting across from

one of your idols, sweating just huge pit stains in your favorite shirt, replaying the weird way you just asked a question, it is so nice to hear them talk about their own. experience meeting their idols for the first time and the pit stains that they had on their favorite shirt. Because those awkward and hard moments that keep us up at night, we all have them. Lance Bass, he has them. Caitlin Bristow, she for sure has them. And we are going to hear them all. We're starting off with none other than Paul Feig. Paul is an author, a TV and movie mogul. He created the hit show Freaks and Geeks, directed episodes of The Office, Parks and Rec. He's the executive producer on episodes of the TV series Welcome to

flash, and that's not it. You know bridesmaids? That movie? Yeah, he directed that. His newest film, The School for Good and Evil, is coming out in October, and he's got a new book coming in November called Cocktail Time. Very excited about that. So you could say he's pretty busy. There are two things about this interview that are funny because they're true. Number one, I was in sweatpants. Paul? Yeah, he was in a seven-piece suit. Did I know what a seven-piece suit was before I met him? Absolutely not. I googled it later, but I nodded like I did. Number two, I completely derailed our conversation from the original outline I had to ask him questions about the office. It actually turned out way better than anything I originally planned.

Perfect. Okay. So with that, let's just get into it. Okay, Paul Feig, hi. How are you? I'm good, Elise. How are you? It's good to talk to you.

I'm good. For those that don't know, Paul Feig is actually the creator and owner of Paderckeg who produces my podcast. And so first, Paul, I just actually wanted to say thank you. because it's really cool that you take a chance on me. And it's awesome to be here. It's easy to take a chance on you because you're awesome. Thank you. This week we're kind of chatting about disastrous dates.

And I know you mentioned a little bit about freaks and geeks. And I know that that history of that show was very closely based on your experience with your life and your childhood. And I would honestly just kind of love to hear your backstory with dating, crushing. Like, what kind of person were you when you fell in love? love and had a crush on people. Well, I mean, I fell in love very easily. Did you? I was, oh, I constantly had crushes.

But I was such a chick and I never talked to the people I had crushes on. Okay, you're my people. Got it. Okay. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, no, totally. So it's all from afar. And, of course, you know, whoever's unattainable because of, you know, it's funny.

Like, the idea that people are unattainable back then is so clear to you, you know, but as you get older, you're like, oh, you know, it's always that thing. You always hear people go to their reunion and you find out the, you know, the girl you in love was like, I was in love. I was in love with you, too. It was like, one. Although I do think that's amissom sometimes. And also you realize, like, they're just people, too. When you meet them 10 years later, you're like, oh, you're not as cool as I thought you were. Or like, oh, you're kind of a jerk. Yeah. Oh, no. Okay, pause. Completely contradictory to what I just said. I actually do not believe

my own self here. I for sure would go back to school and be just as terrified of everybody as I was when I was in school with them. This, like, magical air of confidence would not sweep over me. And I would not suddenly think that they are just normal people the way that they really are. I still would be nervous around them. Okay, keep playing. Well, no, totally. Everything I thought was cool about you is actually what makes you somebody I would probably break up with the minute we actually had a relationship. Totally. But I was really into kind of showering people with gifts, you know. Oh, were you? Yeah, I mean, that was, I thought I could buy love, you know, which is, that's a really healthy attitude. Yeah. So I remember

when I was in junior high, our class was weird. They would set up two classes on opposite sides of this big room. So we were facing each other, the two classes. And there's one girl who I was just in love with, you know, never had the nerve to talk to her, but told my mom at one point, like, oh, I'm in love of this girl. And she's like, oh, and she pulls out this bracelet. She's like, this was my grandmothers. And she gave it to me, you know, and it's a very special. And if you have a girl you love, I want you to give this to her. Not. Oh, my gosh. She just assumed it was somebody I knew. Right. Not a stranger that you thought was like cute from afar. Totally. So I wrapped it up in a piece a paper, and I left it on her desk before anybody got in.

You just let her find it? Oh, yeah, totally. With like a note, yeah, I really like you. And I remember sitting there, and she came in late, and so everybody's like there, and I'm just staring, my heart's pounding, and she sits down and she looks this thing, she opens up, looks like it, she looks across at me. I look down immediately and never look up again, and then she never says anything to me about it.

Did she keep the bracelet? Of course she did. I never saw that bracelet again. No, you are joking me right now. You did not give a family. Okay, it makes sense, though, because your mom sounds like she was a gift giver, so then she passed it to you. And she was like, be a gift giver. That's like what you did every time you liked someone, where you like, I'm just going to find your favorite thing, buy it for you and hope that you like me.

Yeah, totally. Oh, God, I did. The dumbest, I still cringe when I think about this. I think I was a freshman in high school. Oh, my lab partner in science class was this girl, and I was in love with a different girl. And she, at the time, there was an Olivia Newton-John song called I Honestly Love You. And that was, we were talking, because we were actually kind of friendly. And so she was like, oh, I love that song.

It's my favorite song. I wanted to buy the single. This back when you bought singles. Yes. And she was like, oh, I can't afford it. So I'm like, I'm in. Ding. Yep.

So I go and I buy this single for her. And so I show up the next day and I'm like, oh, hey, you know, I got this for you. And she's like, oh, my God. and she's so happy she kisses me on the cheek, which if you're like, you and I who fall in love so easily, that's like literally like, you know, we're married. We're married.

Yeah, exactly. I think that we are one now. Oh, no, I'm telling you. So I play it completely cool, like, hey, hey. But then I go home and that night I'm like, oh, I can't just let this go. I write a note to her saying, hey, I just want to say thanks for the kiss.

It really meant everything to, oh, my God. Do you imagine? So the next day I give her the note. I love you. She reads it and then she's weird I honestly love you And then she's never not weird With me for the rest of the time that we're in school

So it was just a thank you kiss It wasn't like, oh I like you Oh yeah it was just oh I'm so excited Yeah like a brotherly sisterly kiss on the cheek Yeah would you consider that your first kiss Yeah I would actually I would right on my cheek My heart

So that was kind of your thing you were like, I, I just have crushes. And that's, I, anybody that, like, pays me attention is, like, the person that I like. That was me as a kid. I, my type, if you look at the history of people that I've dated, no one can really figure out, like, what my type is. And I think it's just that if you like me, I like you, that was kind of what it was when I was younger. I think I just was so, like, hungry for somebody to be like, you are so cool. And I'm like, you know what? I think you are cool, too. Let's date. And then it was always, like, a few months. And then it wouldn't work because it wasn't the person.

you'd move on and do it all over again. Yeah. But gifts were not my thing. I will say, I, like, really struggle with receiving gifts. I always get really awkward about it. And I'm like, oh, my God, someone spent money on this. This is so uncomfortable. And so it's really interesting.

We are very different in that way. Sadly, I had the shallow boy thing of like, oh, I like her because she's got blonde hair. She's got this, whatever. But the minute you did find out that somebody had a crush in you, all that went out the window. And it didn't matter what they looked like. It's like, what, that person likes me. No, this person likes me.

Yeah. Standards are high until it gets down to it. And you're like, oh, wait, actually, I'm just going to want someone that wants me. Oh, no. Totally. Totally. And am I right in remembering that this is what the first episode of Freaks and Geeks is based off of, correct? No, that was based on when I was a freshman.

I was in love with the head cheerleader, of course, as you will be. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. But, again, from afar, I never even talked to her. I just liked it. She was so, I thought she was so pretty. And so finally, The day of the homecoming, I'm like, I should ask her to the homecoming dance.

Oh, no. Like, you know, clearly she's got a day. So I worked up the nerve to go up and ask her. And she's like, oh, that's so sweet. But, you know, Bill asked me a month ago. Like, oh, okay. But I did it. And it's kind of this celebration.

I did it. So actually, that's in the pilot episode of Freaks and Geeks. So people that don't know the story of freaks and geeks, like, what would you kind of describe in like a couple sentences? like what the goal of that show was. It was to do a show about the people I knew in high school, which was all the burnouts in the nerds in the nerds. I was like nerds or geeks. I don't really like that. We were just like the awkward underdeveloped kids, you know.

Yeah. There's the mature kids who were making out the hallways, you know, and then the jocks. And yeah, then there was the burnouts in us. They were outsiders and we were outsiders. So we all kind of met in drama class. Yeah. And so it really just did a show about that because I got tired of watching and all these high school shows, quote unquote high school shows

were about like, they were like soap operas and everybody's cool with having sex and all these relationship problems. It was like, we're just trying to get through the day where they're getting beat up, you know? So real quick, I have never related to anything more than what Paul just said. I was the most uncomfortable human being

from birth until like 18 years old. And so the fact that Paul wanted to highlight that feeling in school and in his show. I really appreciate that. And honestly, the first time I ever saw the show Freaks and Geeks, it was when I just had graduated high school. And I remembered saying out loud to the person that introduced me to the show, I wish I would have seen this show when I was in school, because it would have made me feel a lot less alone. And to hear, literally, the creator of that show explained to me that that's pretty much the whole point of why he created it. Like, that was really powerful for me. And I don't think I was able to fully wrap my

head around it as it was happening. But hearing this, like, yeah, that was just a much bigger moment than I think I really realized as it was happening. Okay. How much of that show was actually your story? Like, did you, like, it was a lot of the episodes just, just like your experience. Well, the show was set up as, basically is a story of Sam and Lindsay, who were brother and sister. I was an only child.

So Sam's stories all really kind of mirrored my experience, but I always wished I had an older sister. That was like my dream. Yeah, I just was like, if I had a cool older sister, that would be the greatest. So when I created the show, I invented an older sister for myself. So you got to, like, live the life you wanted to as a kid through that.

Yeah, totally. Oh, no, totally. Yeah, and based, you know, what happened was I set it up, you know, kind of based on how I grew up and all the people I knew. But then when we brought writers on, we did this two-week little, you know, session before we actually started writing where we just, I wrote up a big questionnaire of like, what's the craziest thing that happened to you in high school? Who did you love? Who did you hate? And everybody filled it out. We spent two weeks just telling stories, embarrassing stories, and that's where we called all the stories for the first season from.

Wow. How many writers wrote on that show? We had a lot. We had like 10, I think we had 10 or even a couple more in the, in the writer's room. Yeah. Do you find, like, I've always been curious to know kind of what goes on in a writer's room. But like from your experience being on that show, what was that like? How much input does everybody actually have at once? Hold on. Before the Paul Fieg answers this question, I completely intentionally derailed this whole. conversation from talking about disastrous dates to hearing his experience as a writer on his show because why the hell not? I love writing. I love the idea of being in a writer's room, which also it scares me deeply. And if you asked me to be in one, I'd probably say no three

times before I said yes. But like, was it the right question to ask? Yeah, absolutely. It's my podcast. So, okay, perfect. What was that like? How much input does everybody actually have at once? I had a hard time with it. I mean, I loved everybody, and it was cool. But I was, you know, when we first started the show, I said to Jud Appetow, who was my friend and who, you know, produced it with me. I was like, let's just write them all. We don't need a writing staff.

He's like, he loves writing staff. So he's like, we've got to get people in there for ideas. I was like, okay. So, but I wasn't, I was never good at, you know, there's a thing that happens writers rooms where basically they put the script up and then you put it up on the screen and then the head writer kind of goes through and go, let's top this joke. You know, and they kind of go through and you write as a group and then people, pitch ideas and pitch jokes and all that. I can never do that because I just, I'm so kind of

in my own head when I write. So I would kind of be writing and then I'd run in whatever episode I was writing and then I'd run in like to them and go like, I'm stuck on this and they'd pitch a bunch ideas. Oh, okay. And then I'd like run away. Okay. This, this is it right here. Paul would need a couple quick ideas, get them from all of the very talented people. He would receive those ideas and he'd be like, great, now literally shut up and don't talk to me. That is me. The idea that Paul had the right people around him and respected his process as well, where he could come in, get their input, and he could then walk out and do what he does alone and have it be that back and forth. Like, that was really inspiring to me because that showed me that there was another

way to do it. It doesn't have to just be in front of people 24-7 all the time. It can be, both. It can be together and it can be separate. Okay, now we're pausing for a break. And then I'm going to ask Paul about another show that I love, The Office. As an office fan, I really need to know, what did your experience? All right, so let's just, let's just real talk, as they say, for a second. That's a little bit of an aged thing to say now. That dates me, doesn't it? But no, real talk. How important is your health to you, you know, on like a one to ten. And I don't mean the, in the sense of vanity, I mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well, right? You want to be less stressed. You don't want it as sick. When you have responsibilities, I know myself, I'm a householder.

I have two children and two more on the way, a spouse, a pet, you know, a job that sometimes has its demands. So I really want to feel like when I'm not getting the sleep and I'm not getting nutrition when my eating's down, I want to know that I'm being held down some other way physically. My family holds me down emotionally, spiritually, but I need something to hold me down physically, right? And so honestly, I turned to symbiotica, these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious. And I'm telling you, even before I started doing ads for these guys, it was a product that I really, really liked and enjoyed and could see the differences with. The three that I use, I use the, what is it called? Liposomal vitamin C,

and it tastes delicious, like really, really good. Comes out in the packet, you put it right in your mouth. Some people don't do that. I do it. I think it tastes great. I use the liposomal glutathione as well in the morning. Really good for gut health, and although I don't need it, you know, anti-aging. And then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8, which is really good for, I think, mood and stress. I sometimes use it in the morning, sometimes use it at night. All three of these things taste incredible. Honestly, you don't even need to mix it with water. And yeah, I just couldn't recommend them highly enough. If you want to try them out, go to symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. That's symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free

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Don't miss out. Go to rosettastone.com slash podcrush and start learning today. In the writer's room looked like with the office compared to frees and geeks. Well, the office was I had started. You just produced. No, I was a director on it and I directed, you know, over the course of the series like 19. episodes. Yeah. But I was always, I knew all the writers and I was friendly with them. Because I had done Freaks and Geeks, I had a little more crid in a writer's room, but I still wasn't part of the writers. But then, like the fifth season, they directed so many episodes. They said,

you want to come on as a co-executive producer? I said, I'll do it if I can also be in the writers room officially. And so they said, sure. So, but what was interesting is, you know, I came in, I was my, my, my, uh, late 30s then. And it was pretty young. you know, 20-something, you know, Mindy Kaling and, you know, Lee and Gene and all these amazing people who've gone on to such great stuff, Mike Scher, we're all in there. So they were kind of late 20s, early 30s. So I was kind of the old guy going in a little bit. Interesting. And yeah, but I kind of you go in. It's so funny. This is why I always lectured at comedy people, like, you've got to, like, stay current. If you start going like, don't tell me what's funny. I know what's funny. You are

dead. Totally. And so I get in this room and they're, I remember the one, they were pitching, you know, they had some joke, like, can we top this? And everybody's pitching the jokes. And I'm sitting there like the cat, the canary, because, you know, you have certain joke areas. You go like, this is my, I kill every time. Yes. So I'm sitting there like, I'm going to just, I'm going to, I got the joke. I'm going to destroy this. I'm going to destroy this room full of young writers who think they know what they're doing. Comes around to me, I pitch this joke. They stare at me and I go, oh my God, I just pitched a dad joke. Do you remember the joke? No, I had, I purged it out of my head.

You're like, I never want to remember that. No. It's just like, oh, no. But it was the greatest lesson I ever had to keep my career moving forward. It was like, don't, because then somebody else pitched a joke that was not that dissimilar from mine, but the way they worded it and the way, the attitude of it was a much, I hate to say, younger way to do it. It's a much more contemporary way to do it versus like a dad taking something. I feel like so much of writing in the comedy space or in general is just kind of swallowing your pride. Yeah.

I've walked into so many situations where I've literally just said like, die al-A-Lis die. Because I can't. Okay, that sounds so dramatic. Die-A-Lice die just basically means like don't let my pride matter more than making something beautiful or funny. It's just so interesting, like, to hear you go into the office after being so successful on freaks and geeks to go into the office writer's rooms and just those meetings and feel like you're just going to crush it and then you don't. Like, that is, that's wild to me because I would think that as a successful writer, you could walk into any room and be like, I'm going to own this and it's going to be great. Yeah, what I could have done and what I've seen older writers do is, no, it's funny. Like, like, they don't believe.

They just think everybody else doesn't get it. It's, it's just wild to me how people are so turned off to feedback. No, everybody creative is defensive in their own way. You know, and some are just like, don't tell me. And others are like, you know, I think you and I are much more in the vein of like, we just wilt, you know. Yeah. My confidence goes out of the door.

Totally. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Perfect. I'm horrible at this. I'll never do it again. Yeah, exactly. I'm out.

heard that sister that's literally my response when someone gives me feedback as i'm like get feedback it's so important someone gives me feedback and i'm like all right well i'm the absolute worst so i quit especially as a comedy director the thing i had to learn the most was i have to be confident enough to not be confident you know so you basically have to go in going like i know what i'm doing i know it's right but then when somebody goes like oh what about this what about this go like oh yeah or they go like i i don't know that doesn't work for me but but if i do it this way to then not go like no do it the way i wrote it totally go like oh yeah cool like let's try it and my whole thing is it's like let's try everything try the way i did it i said try it the way you said try it other ways

because then i get in the editing room that's when i sort it all out i am in real time having a you were right moment so this voiceover that i am literally doing right this moment that you are hearing with your ears is the exact result of taking feedback and doing something that you're like, look, I don't think this is going to work, but we're just going to go for it. This voiceover is just a conscious stream of consciousness. No, let me go back. This voiceover is just a stream of consciousness. I'm not editing it. I'm not going back, except for the fact that I literally just went back. And my producer Claire was like, hey, you did a voiceover last time, and I can tell you edited it and I'm like I did edit it and she's like don't do that and I'm like I will do that she's like

don't just try not just try not doing that so this is me basically trying to prove her wrong and I ended up proving her right and that's beautiful look I turn 60 this year so it never changes like I'm the same insecurity I know I know that I'm going to start a project all excited I'm going to get into like the middle of the the middle of the first half of the second act and start to waver, I'm going to get to the middle

of the script and go, this is terrible, I should stop, freak out, push myself pass, suffer through the second half of the second act, and then suddenly

when I get the third act, write it in like three days, you know, so I just know, this is the best thing I've ever done. And like, just two days ago,

you were like, I'm horrible at this. Oh, no, totally. And then I'll read it all and go like, this is terrible. But, you know, but,

so you just got to, You have to know yourself well enough to go, like, just plow forward. This is so wild, dude. Okay, literally, like, days before this interview, I just posted a video about my creative process, which I'm going to pull it up because I don't even want to get it word for word wrong. I'm going to pull this up so that you can hear just how wild it is that he just said that. Hold on.

Hold, please. the first part of my creative process is like you have an idea right next is i am the actual worst i quit i'll give it one more shot i can do this i am doing this i need more coffee i am good at this and then it starts all over again i am the actual worst and so for him to say that that's basically his exact process as well was like okay this actually never gets easier you just get more experienced at feeling those exact feelings. And I don't know if that's comforting or not, but what I do know is that it's time for a break. The first few weeks of school are in the books, and now's the time to keep that momentum going.

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Remember there's always the couple that would make out all the time? Just touching constantly. Totally. So that was them. So, of course, she wasn't, she wasn't like normally the kind of, you know, just physically the person I would go for. But it's just like the fact that she was so clearly, you know, open to that is like, oh, my gosh. Like, if I could ever be kissing a girl in the hallway, I'd be so cool.

And, you know, that looks so, you know, nobody looks more appealing than when they're kissing somebody else, you know. Definitely. Hard agree. I definitely do not hard agree. agree, but I didn't really know what to say there. And then there was a Christmas dance. You're like, it's my time.

Yeah, so I actually worked up the nerve in 10th grade, which I never had to ask her to the Christmas because I was still kind of friendly with her. And I was, if you want to go to the Christmas dance? She's like, oh, I love that, blah, blah. Oh, my God. So I have a date for the Christmas dance. I go to pick her up and she was really pretty in just this really natural way. Well, this was like the 70s, the late 70s, which was disco and all that because.

So I go to pick her up at her house. She comes down the stairs. I don't know what happened. Like, clearly she worked with her mother or sister, she's got a faceful of makeup that is crazy. Good or bad? Her hair, bad. I mean, like a kabuki, you know.

And their hair, which was normally kind of soft, it was almost like a Dorothy Hamilly kind of thing, which, Dorothy Hamill-ish. It's an old reference. Look it up, kids. Oh, I love it. It was a very distinct look based on an ice skater who was in the Olympics. Paul Feig is being a gentleman here.

What he's not saying is, and I googled it later, because I did not know who Dorothy Hamill was, he's describing a bowl cut. But he's a very kind person, and he wouldn't say that. So I will say it. He was describing a bull cut. But she had taken and styled it up, so it literally was just up like a helmet, like an umbrella had been opened on her head. Okay, not so much of a gentleman that he didn't describe someone's hair. like an umbrella but but enough of a gentleman that he wouldn't say bull cut okay i need to stop saying okay every time i end a recording so this is me ending the recording without saying

the word that i don't want to say so she comes down so immediately i'm like oh that's is that her like who is this person who's not soft and i don't know there's something like lovely about her softness that I right now this is a really hard looking person comes down so okay but fine I'm no I'm no prize trust me so I was like okay so we get in their car her friends are gonna drive and her friends are in the front see they're a couple and the minute we pull out of her driveway though her girlfriend goes like who wants a beer and she's like me and she reached over his seat and grabs it and just guzzles this beer like gone in just like a flash and all I can think is I'm insulted because I'm like, so, oh, so you really needed that drink that

badly because you're on this date with me? You just needed to be drunk to be on a date with me. Yeah, and I couldn't compute. And I kind of didn't drink at that time. And so they're like, one of beers. I'm really. You know, so, and then she chugs another one. I mean, she has like three beers before we get to the dance. So we're at the dance. Yes. And then, so the dance is going, okay. And she's kind of floating around other people and all this. And we kind of dance, but we kind of don't. And she's off with girlfriends. And then like an hour into the dance, the friend who drove us, comes in. She goes like, Paul, she's really sick.

She's really sick in the bathroom. She's throwing up all over the place. I'm like, well, I'm out. I have nothing to do with this. But of course, she's like, she feels so terrible. She likes you so much and she feels so terrible. You know, we're just, you know, she's almost back to normal. Oh, my gosh.

Did she really like you or was her friend just fronting in this moment? I don't know. I think probably in her drunkenness. She's like, oh, you know, I, I think, who know? This is so sad. It's such sad teen drinking and, and we're under quite a love. So finally, she comes out of the bathroom and she's, you know, she was wearing this kind of silky dress and she's got like water stains all down the front, which clearly had been vomit cleaned off of this dress. No, no, no, no, no.

And comes up to me and does this thing where she, like, gets right up next to me, my face. And all I can think, I was a germophobe. All I can think is like, you've been throwing up. Your mouth is filled a throw up. I don't want to be near you. Don't breathe on me. And, of course, then she's romantic. And she's like, we have to slow dance.

And it's just, oh, I'm literally just trying to avoid her mouth. And she's like, I feel better now. Let's party. And you're like, I just want this date to be over. Yeah. I cannot get out of here. But, of course, being a high school dance, then we had reservations to eat at a steakhouse, you know.

After? Yeah. Oh, yeah, totally. We go to this steakhouse, which I've been wanting to go to one of those ones that's like a giant, like fake cow in front what steakhouse was it well god oh this was i mean this is like you know middle suburban michigan oh love it okay michigan got it jj's you know steerhouse or something like that great so so then we or then she ordered a giant steak with onions on it so she's pounding down the steak and onions and all i can think in my head is the reason i went on

this date is so i could make out with this girl and she's making it very important for you to do this. There's throw up, there's onions, there's steak going on in there. I think possibly a Caesar salad was thrown into the mix. Oh, I love the anchovies. Yes, exactly. So, okay, so dates over. I'm like, oh, I got to get home.

My dad's going to kill me. I'm just like, you know, get me the fuck out of here. So we pull into the driveway and through the window, living a window, it's open a crack enough. I see my father sitting watching television. All I want to do is go watch TV with my dad. I got to get out of this car. So they stopped the car. The people in the front who drove start making out immediately,

which was apparently the cue of like, well, you guys got to make out too. So I turned to this girl and I'm like, I got to get out of here. I got to do the kiss. So I go in for my first French kiss ever. I have no idea what it is. I just know at some point you're supposed to put your tongue in somebody's mouth. So we go in, she opens her mouth, I open my mouth, and literally shove my tongue.

into her mouth, don't know what I'm doing, hit her teeth, and literally run my tongue around her top teeth and then around her bottom teeth and then come out of it and she comes out of it and she looking at me like either it was the greatest kiss ever or the most horrifying thing that ever happened to her. Absolutely not. No. I have nothing to add to this other than adding to the disdain of this moment that I already had, I would just like to make it very clear that this is a big, absolutely not for me. It's definitely the most horrifying thing

they're having to me up to that point. I have chills from the secondhand embarrassment right now, Paul. I am dying. It's terror. And so I just like, oh, thanks a lot. I'll see you on Monday and just out of the car and, oh, God, and immediately brush my teeth. A scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate that first kiss?

About a minus 50, I think. And could you taste the onions. Yeah, I could taste everything. Oh, my God. You could smell the throat. You could taste the onion. No. Oh, my God.

I really appreciate the dedication, though, because you really just committed to that. You were like, I came here for one thing, and I'm not leaving without it. Well, I didn't, I, again, my people pleaser mode is like, I can't disappoint her, like, clearly. I think that me and Paul are the same person. he's just a much fancier-dressed version than I am. She kind of, I could tell she felt bad, and so that was kind of her way to make up for the, I don't know, it was just everybody was,

everybody's intentions were right, or maybe not, I don't know, but it all was just, I went horribly wrong. So you went from kissing on the cheek to just that. There was nothing, that was straight in. Oh, yeah, literally that, I mean, that, there was nothing. It was zero to 60. Oh. This was four years, at least four years between the, or no,

Oh, no, it's like three years. I actually think that I'd honestly love you kiss on the cheek was eighth grade. So I'm going to give myself two years on that. That is wild. Well, you and I, we have good stories. Here's why my theory why we have good stories that are all horrifying to other people, because we are optimists. We are eternal optimists.

And when you're an optimist, you just get your ass kicked constantly. Absolutely. Because you go, like, today's going to be great. I know every other day was terrible. Today's the day it's going to be great. And you go into these situations with too much expectation, but I never want to change. I do it to this day and I will never stop doing it. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, I'm a peop pleaser and an optimist, and those two are a horrifying combination when you have anxiety. Well, thank you so much, Paul. It's been such an honor to talk to you and chat with you and hear your life stories. And, yeah, thank you so much for being here. Thank you, Lacey. You're the best. Bye. That was the interview.

I am a people pleaser. I don't know how else to explain that way of thinking other than like the desire to give people multiple chances because I want them to be the best version of themselves, even at the expense of me, which is not healthy, but it's just how I operate. So I think that I would actually categorize myself not as an optimist as much. I have like a lot of belief in people. I don't always have that same optimism and belief in myself, which is just wild that I can believe so deeply in strangers. But when it comes to like believing in myself, I'm like, I can't do it. I've known this person for seven seconds and I think they can conquer the world, but I've known me for 28 years. And I'm like, nah.

This process was. was pretty overwhelming for me. I think this whole process has been. I don't know if this interview specifically kind of triggered that in me of being afraid of doing a podcast or if kind of it had been brewing from the first conversation I had with somebody up until this point. But I felt very nervous throughout the entire conversation and like I wasn't doing it right. And even though this is literally my own podcast, I felt like somehow I was doing it wrong, which is impossible because we're making it up as we go. So, yeah, I think that it's just been very confronting for me

to try and do something new in such a public way. It's no longer just me with a camera in my room alone. It's me in front of an entire team of people watching me do something new for the very first time. And it's very, very, like, overwhelming and emotional and incredible and scary and stretching. And it's been really cool and a lot all at the same time. And so I was really grateful for Paul's wisdom and advice, even when he didn't realize he was giving it to me.

I think that it was really good for me to hear that you always are going to feel like an imposter, that you're never going to feel confident in yourself. Just be confident enough to not be confident, I think is the way he said it. And I thought that was very wise. And I'm going to write that down and tape it up to my wall right in front of my desk. because I think I need a lot more of that gray area in my life than I allow right now. Okay, that's it. Episode one down. Thank you so much for listening to the first episode of Funny Because It's True.

There is a second one in your feed at this very second. It's my interview with Lance Bass. You can listen right now. And there will be so many more to come. If you like the show, give it five stars. If you love the show, leave a review. That helps people find us. All right, I'll be back next week with more.

Bye. Funny because it's true is a Lemonada Media and Powderkeg production. The show is produced by Claire Jones, Zoe Dennis, and Linnea Tony. Our associate producer is Tiffany Bowie. Rachel Neal is our senior director of new content, and our VP of weekly production is Steve Nelson. Executive producers are Stephanie Whittles Wax, Jessica Cordova Kramer, Paul Figue, Laura Fisher, Kessler Childers, and me, Elise Myers. The show is mixed by Brian Castillo and Johnny Evans. Our theme song music was written by me and scored by Xander Singh.