Podcrushed - Jenna Ortega

Episode Date: June 15, 2022

Jenna Ortega gets refreshingly candid about representation, body image, and therapy, and spills the deets on what it was like working with Tim Burton in the upcoming series "Wednesday." Want to submit a middle school story? Go to www.podcrushed.com and give us every detail. Follow us on socials! instagram.com/podcrushedtwitter.com/podcrushedtiktok.com/@podcrushedSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada He said something that kind of made me laugh and I felt my mouth start to water. Oh no. And he asked me a question that I put my finger up and my mouth started to fill with a certain kind of thick fluid and I projectile vomited the banana that I had for breakfast this morning and more.

So wait, is this all because of who you were talking to? Can we just get a confirmation there? I would like to make sense. that connection. This is Pod Crushed. The podcast that takes the sting out of rejection, one crushing middle school story at a time. And where guests share their teenage memories,

both meaningful and mortifying. And we're your hosts. I'm Nava, a former middle school director. I'm Sophie, a former fifth grade teacher. And I'm Penn, a middle school dropout. We're just three beehis who are living in Brooklyn. Wanting to make stuff together with a particular fondness for awkward nostalgia. Eh, well, I struggle with nostalgia.

for the therapy. Okay, so let's get to our guest. Today, we have Jenna Ortega, an actress who I first met when she played the iconic Ellie Alves on my show, you in season two, but she was also iconic as young Jane in Jane the Virgin, in The Scream reboot, and she's going to be

in Tim Burton's Wednesday, playing, of all people, Tuesday. It's a strange... So we don't laugh at that. She's playing Wednesday. But first, we... are going to listen to a story. This is such a good story. I feel like it brings me right back to middle school. I might as well be this main character. Without further ado, let's get into

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He's been convicted of murdering two young women, but suspected of many more. Maybe there's another one in that area. And now, new leads that could solve. these cold cases. They could be a victim that we have no idea he killed. Stolen voices of Dull Valley breaks the silence on August 19th. Follow us now so you don't miss an episode. So there I was. A bright-eyed, bushy-tailed sixth-grader in all my awkward glory. The year was 2003 and my aim profile was stacked with Evanescence lyrics. In fifth grade up, wake me up this son, call my name and save me from the dust.

In fifth grade, I was surrounded by girly girls with cute braids and perfect outfits, and then there was me, an oddball, emo, 11-year-old tomboy who already had hair everywhere. Of course, I was a late bloomer in all the other ways, but not my hair. No, no, not only was my hair abundant, it was also very dark, which made it really pop against my pale skin. And thanks to my Hispanic roots, I had a pretty aggressive unibrow blue. blooming in full force right when fifth grade started. But back the sixth grade, you remember, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed?

Yeah, so we sat alphabetically in the hallways after lunch, and I just so happened to be slotted right between my crush. Jack and the school bully, Noah. Jack took his seat behind me, but not before shooting me a quick smile. O-M-G? I snapped my head forward so Jack wouldn't notice my beat-red cheeks. I had to will myself not to throw up. He was so fucking cute.

At that moment, Noah turned around, interrupting my silent ruminations on the beauty that was Jack, poked his grubby Noah finger right between my eyes, proclaiming, Nice hairy caterpillar, freak. Noah, in my mind I was slaying Noah with witty comebacks. In reality, I sat there sobbing in front of everyone, in front of Jack. That night, I tried to convince my mom to let me use twilight. to tame this beast. I cried, I pleaded, I groveled. She was immovable. You and your sister have beautiful eyebrows. You will appreciate them one day. Trust me. But this was not that time. I rolled my eyes

and waited for the perfect chance to steal her tweezers from her purse later that night. The next morning I went to school and hurried straight to the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror and I went on a tweezing frenzy. So I never watched anyone tweez their eyebrows before. I had no idea what I was doing. YouTube tutorials were not on my radar yet, okay? So I surveyed my work. No hairy beast between my brows, no baby caterpillar above the bridge.

Take that. Noah. I proudly walked out, and I went about my day. Time for lunch, or as I like to call it, Jack and Me Time. I took my seat, excited, a jack, and Noah approached. They spotted me at the same time. Their jaws dropped. Oh my God, they exclaimed in unison, what did you do?

I had tweezed the hair all the way to the middle of both eyes. I could fit my entire hand in between my brows and still see the blotchy red bear skin where hair once thrived. I realized my mistake instantly. I bolted from the spot and ran back to the scene of the massacre to cry from the bathroom I could actually still hear Noah and Jack laughing at me. I was mortified. I basically cried my way through the rest of the school year and vowed never to touch tweezers again. Jokes on them, though, because today, Jack and Noah are bald with beer guts starting fake news wars on Facebook.

Me? I got my awkward phase out of the way And I look fly as hell now X-O-X-O X-O Glow up, girl Thank you so much for having me, Penn I think that this is my first actual podcast conversation

Is it really? Yeah, what an honor. Truly an honor, Jenna. So wait, so you're, are you in a hotel room in Romania? I'm in an apartment in Romania. You're in an apartment? Oh! For six months now.

Six months? Is any of your family with you right now, or are you by yourself in Romania? No, I'm by myself. What's that been like six months in Romania and a pandemic by yourself? Have you been alone the whole time? Yeah, essentially. I mean, my mom visited for a week, but other than that, I haven't been with anybody. Wow.

I mean, I know what that's like, but not during a pandemic. Yep. So you're shooting a whole season of a show, Wednesday of the Adams family. Yeah, so Gomez and Mortisha. Is Tim Burton, is he producing or is he directing, or is he like, what's his involvement? He's executive producing and directing. Wow. Yeah, he is one of the sweetest, if not the sweetest director I've ever worked with.

So kind and normal. I've never met with someone who's so visually concentrated, which I guess makes sense for his aesthetic. But I remember even the first day of shooting when we were doing my braids for the first time. And he spent 10 minutes with a hairbrusher's comb, literally dissecting strands on my forehead. No, that one needs to curve more. that strand is too thick or this is too, whatever.

The visual stuff that he cares about, you know, he'll crawl on the floor and fall out of lockers and crawl under beds to explain to an actor what exactly he wants or what he's looking to do with. But if there's like a continuity error where, oh, man, the door latch was on the left door, but now it's on the right door, he says, I'll tell him I'm dyslexic. You know, like, don't worry. And he's super collaborative. He'll ask me, oh, how do you feel about the sides today?

Is there anything that's bumping you? Do you want to get rid of something? Do you want to say this instead? Do you want to do this instead? And then we'll talk about it. And then he'll go to the writers and then we'll go to the script supervisor and then we're going about our day. Which is really cool because not all directors do that. You was an exceptionally cool set because Sarah Gamble and all them are the coolest.

But I've also worked on shows where I've felt like a puppet. And you have to see the line exactly this way or else. But when Tim's around, it never feels that way at all, which is a relief. Well, we're very excited to see it. We talked a little bit about this on set when we were on, on you, on my show, you. Always a difficult pronoun reference. We both were child actors. I mean, I started auditioning when I was, I think about nine maybe for the first time when I was doing theater.

I was nine, ten. So what was it like for you as a child actor getting into storytelling? What got you into it? And how did you feel once you started auditioning for the first time? I first brought up the conversation of acting with my parents when I was around six years old. I had just watched Man on Fire. And then my mom came home from work and I told her, oh, I want to be the Puerto Rican Dakota Fannie.

That's going to be what I do for the rest of my life. And yeah, I don't think I actually convinced my mom until I was around 9 or 10. And I think because I was so stubborn and so determined, and I worked so hard to convince my parents that, hey, I'm going to do this. And if you let me do this, I'm going to do something big. I told them, I remember I was watching Disney Channel and my parents came home and I went over to the room and I was like, you know what?

If you let me act, I could be on that TV on that Disney Channel show right now, just letting you know. And then that's what I did, like four years later. So I think it was triumphs like that or little things that kind of kept me going. But something that I appreciated about my child actor experience is because I wasn't immersed in L.A., I wasn't fully immersed in the culture.

I still went to public school. I've had the same friends since I was four years old. I would go to work, drive home, go to school the next day. It was just, it became, I don't know, kind of just, it was two separate lives for me. And I think as I've gotten older, especially now, I think now is kind of a confusing time for me because it's blending into one life.

And I don't have that school experience anymore to kind of filter or dilute all that happens in this. industry, so it's been kind of a learning curve. I'm curious, what were your parents' reactions when you told them that you wanted to be the Puerto Rican Dakota Fanning? Were they into it? No. My mom hated it. The way she said it is, you know, Jenna, I grew up watching, you know, people lose their minds in that industry, you know, because the tabloids and whatever they say about child stars gone crazy. And she said that before she had kids, she remembers hearing stories like, that and thinking, man, I would never, ever put my child in that situation or allow them.

You know, so she kind of takes it as the universe slapping her wrist and basically don't try to predict or assume things. But she was not entertained by the idea at all. And it became very annoying for her, actually. She would get me monologue books from Barnes & Noble and just close the door to my room and just say, oh, here, play with this or do this, whatever. And would you? So were you like, would you, part of like your self-imposed training or anything, would you read monologues?

Yeah, I would either memorize monologues and read them in the mirror or I would just come up with random scenarios. I could be eating breakfast and suddenly I was a 50-year-old man from Idaho. I don't know. I just came up with these random scenarios, but that's how I actually started acting because my mom filmed one of the monologues once and she put it on Facebook and said, oh, look, she's such a drama queen or something to that effect. And a casting director saw it coincidentally enough. What? Wow. And then she set me up with a meeting with my first agency. Wow. So it was your mom. I did it. After all that. Yeah. So you said something earlier that was really fascinating to me. Like you said that the world of work in Hollywood was kind of separate

from the life you were living throughout I guess into your teens still like I mean do you know my experience is kind of different it's like I it was all very much one once I moved at 12 years old into into Hollywood and not until

I was I mean really in my mid-20s like and Gossip Girl was sort of peaking that's when I started taking steps towards what now I'm actually am only realizing it as you said it is kind of feeling like two separate lives. Like I very much, you know, work is like this. I think Nava and Sophie can probably attest to this. It's like, it's like this other part of me, which is like working and, and, and, and,

and famous in the field and all that kind of stuff. But then it's like I have this life. I mean, I don't know how much you can see behind me, but I'm like in the woods and I'm upstate New York. And sometimes it does feel almost bizarrely separate. So I actually think, you know, it's not necessarily a good or a bad thing. It just is what it is. And you're saying, now you, you know, you're kind of, is it because of school primarily that now you're in your, you're going to enter your 20s shortly, you are no longer, no longer you have the whole thing where you have to like work only a certain number of hours and. Yeah, I never really realized how much school kind of contributed to a social life because

again, the only reason why I know my friends is through school. So once I started doing homeschool, that kind of sort of lessened and now that I'm not doing school at all. And I've just been working. I think that I've kind of lost that part or it's not as concentrated in my life. It's just kind of, that's that weird. Oh, I have to actually reach out to people and make effort to have some sort of human connection because I've never really been good at that sort of thing. So it's been kind of a learning. What did your siblings think of it? Honestly, I don't think that they thought much about it. her now, I kind of feel really guilty because a large majority of their childhood was their

mom being gone half the time because she was spending time. And, you know, she would miss the soccer games and she would miss the whatever. So I think that when I work, I really try to impress them, if anything, like it's just kind of making them proud or kind of making them feel like it was all worth it. But it's things as simple as, oh, working with a rapper that they really like. It has to be something like that that impresses them other than that. Did you work with a rapper they really liked? Oh, is it Kid Cuddy?

Yeah. Oh, that's great. And then that's when they asked me questions. Oh, what was that one? Whoa, whoa. I might get a repost on their Instagram story. So are you saying when you worked with me, they, just nothing.

It wasn't even like a blip in the radar. That's what about me? Are you sure? What about me? Just give me their number. Just give me their number. You know, I'll just like me check in. Actually, what I will say about you is because there were so many memes, my older sister, Mia, would send me memes of you.

I'm definitely a couple of memes and a half, yeah. Jen, I do, just while we're on this sort of topic of middle school, I'm just wondering for you either on set or at school, if you're comfortable, could you tell us about like your first crush, maybe your first heartbreak, any kind of embarrassing stories from that time, although you seem very composed, but. I had my first crush, or I believe I had my first crush when I was maybe five. But I wasn't, I've never been, again, I can be so awkward and it makes me so hard for me to make new friends or reach out to people that even if I did have a crush, I would never speak to them. Matter of fact, I would avoid them because I had a crush on them. And if I looked at them, then they would immediately know that I was secretly in love with them and wrote about them when I went home in my diary. Classic. You know, right ever. So I didn't really, when I was in middle school, I didn't date anyone or I didn't do anything. But I do remember. one time, I was speaking with a boy that I knew he liked me. He kind of liked everyone. He was one of those guys. I know those guys. I can totally picture that guy. Looking back, I just, I want to shake my head. But I was in seventh grade. I was sitting across from this guy and we were just making

jokes. And I started feeling really sick. So I put my head down kind of as I was reading. So I was reading kind of sideways. And he was asking me, man, how are you reading like that? There's no way that you're actually picking up the words on the page. And I said, no, I'm a huge reader. I do this all the time. He kept asking me questions, but I was getting more and more nauseous. I felt like I needed to close my eyes. He said something that kind of made me laugh.

And I put my head up. And as soon as I came up, I felt my mouth start to water. Oh, no. And he asked me a question like, I put my finger up. And my mouth started to fill with, a certain kind of thick fluid and I told him I gave him the hand

to the trash can and I projected out vomited the banana that I had for breakfast this morning and more So wait is this all because of who you were talking to can we just

get a confirmation there? I would like to make that connection. It was so bad it was that thing where everyone in the class goes ooh. Oh, I feel that. It's visceral for me now, Jenna.

Yeah, my teacher had me walk all the way to the principal's office where the nurse's office was holding that trash in my hand had a friend walking and I told her I'm fine I don't need to go home and my mom was always kind of one of those parents who if I got sick it was still not a reason to miss school I was like okay we'll just get it out in the morning throw up in the morning and then oh okay you're good to go so I was so embarrassed not only to one have to confront my mom when she picked me up and she was thinking, man, why are you missing school? Or also to

that boy that I was talking to followed me to the trash can and watched me from behind and like put a hand on my back and was super attentive during this gross. That's very, that's very mature for like a 12 year old boy. Well, what did he want? Yeah, he just wanted to be close

to a girl. Yeah. Oh my God, he held my hair back. I must be in love with him. I feel like Navajo can relate to this. Navajo, don't you have like a nausea thing? Like, or you had? Or is it have? Is it you didn't? What I can most relate to is avoiding someone that I like.

And like often, I mean, I've improved a little bit, but I think what Penn is talking about is like one time I had rehearsed with like a friend written down. Like, there was like a speech that I was going to give this guy. And then like set up the whole thing, went to dinner. And then every time I would try to like open my mouth, I felt like I was going to throw up. and I just, like, I ended up not ever doing it. And then leaving him like a voice memo, which was much, much worse, like, much more embarrassing. But I couldn't do it in person.

I would get so nauseous. Aw. That was when I was 30. Like, not a child. Just so we're clear. Yeah. All right. So, let's just, let's just real talk, as they say, for a second.

That's a little bit of an aged thing to say now. That dates me, doesn't it? But no, real talk. how important is your health to you you know on like a one to 10 and I don't mean the in the sense of vanity I mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well right you want to be less stressed you don't want it as sick when you have responsibilities I know myself I'm a householder I have I have two children and two more on the way a spouse a pet you know a job that sometimes has its demands so I really want to feel like when I'm not getting to sleep and I'm not getting nutrition

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I do it I think it tastes great I use the liposomal glutathione as well in the morning really good for gut health and although I don't need it you know anti-aging and then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8 which is really good for for I think mood and stress. I sometimes use it in the morning, sometimes use it at night. All three of these things taste incredible. Honestly, you don't even need to mix it with water. And yeah, I just couldn't recommend them highly enough. If you want to try them out, go to symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. That's symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. As the seasons change, it's the perfect time to learn something new. Whether you're getting back

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Okay, Jenna, I feel like we need to get into this submitted story now. I am obsessed with this story. I have so much to say about it, partially because it feels like it's my story. Like, honestly, I could have written it myself. I don't know. I'm wondering if you have any experiences like that. Like, what did this story bring up for you? I started to laugh internally because that same exact experience almost. I asked my mom if I could shave my legs when I was in fifth grade too because I was very hairy. I have dark hair. I'm Latina. I remember I was insecure about my leg hair, but my arm hair more. I actually had, there was a girl who I was friends with quotation marks in sixth grade who told me that I had gorilla arms is what you'd call

him because I just had really long arm hair. So when I was in sixth grade, my mom finally allowed me to shave my legs and she showed me on one leg how to do it and I was like, oh, okay, I got it. And I did it. And then when I came out at the bathroom, she realized that I had shaved my arms as well. And she said, whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn't say you could do all that. You know, I said legs, like, but there's no reason. You didn't need to shave your arms.

So I knew that when I walked out, I was doing something that she told me not to, but it was just such a deep insecurity in mind. And nobody ever addressed it again. But it's still, to this day, every single day, shave my arms. It's like without question, I can't, if there's even stubble, if there's even anything, I get really insecure about it again. And I just immediately, just because it became such habit. Yeah. Yeah. I totally relate too. So I'm half Persian and Persians are also very hairy. And so I, when I was in seventh grade, we wore a school uniform. I went to an Episcopalian

school. But one day I like bent over and I think my shirt was untucked or something. And there was a little, I guess I had back hair. And I was like 12. And this boy was like, you're a hairy monkey. And I was like so embarrassed and like after that I shaved everything like I shaved my arms my back my face like you know if I'll look at my arms and there's like a little bit of stubble I'll get like oh my god no and I'll like hop in the shower and like shave them just from like this one kid saying you're a hairy monkey when I was 12 yeah I feel like for me what both of you are saying really resonates I for a long time have like like name a hair removal process I've used it like anything under the sun actually except laser which is probably the one that I should do but

I wonder how, for both of you guys, I guess, as women who've struggled with hair and maybe just body image in general, like how has your idea of beauty, your conception of beauty evolved over time? Has it evolved? Or are those, it sounds like those feelings are still pretty prevalent. But. And Jenna, just to add to that because you're an actress and there's, I think, so much pressure on women in Hollywood to be like very thin and to look perfect and to look good on camera. And even though there's a public conversation that's kind of changing and there's more, it seems like more room for less strict, I guess, norms publicly. I wonder, like, is that the case on set or like how also does being on set and being on camera shape your attention, I guess, to your own beauty and like the pressures that you feel? And is that shifting? The conversation shifts. Yeah, there's been a major conversation shift, but also the internet is brutal.

It's really wonderful to have those conversations and safe environments where you feel everybody can say what they need to say with no judgment, but it's like no one's safe on there. And I don't really take certain stereotypes or pay attention to current beauty trends or whatever's happening right now because it's entirely not relevant.

But I'm somebody who's incredibly hard on myself in doing the job that I do and also just being somebody who overanalyzes something, I will never hold myself to the same standard. I actually just started therapy recently, which is like the most uncomfortable, ugly feeling I've ever had. And it's just something that I was told that I needed to do. I've been recently having more conversations like that were, oh, I go and describe people in a certain way. And then my therapist goes to try to describe me in the same way. And it turns you off and makes you feel weird. So I think it's just a weird disconnect with

myself personally when it comes to beauty standards that I need to make that, I need to flip that switch or work on that. That's just an internal issue. But the internet is, you know, people hide behind a screen and can say whatever they want to say with no consequences. And in terms of security and in myself or my appearance or even just who I am as a person doing this job, it's so difficult that oftentimes I consider not doing it at all. And it's something that I still consider to this day because if I want to make art or I want to be creative in some way, that's also something I can do on a much smaller scale. I can make films in my backyard if I would need to. You know, it's, I don't have to, it's never been about the photos and people saying

hi to you on the street. It's just been because it's something that's fun for me and I like being able to make people feel something or if I could tell a story that resonates with someone or give somebody comfort or just can kind of take their mind off of things for a while. I'm, more than happy to do that, and I jump at the opportunity. But if it gets as hard as it does sometimes, it's kind of not worth it. Yeah, I mean, I agree with that. And I think even, I mean, look, I'm 35. Am I twice serious? I'm not going to do math right now. This is why I act. Being successful and visible is a really strange place to be as an actor, probably for anybody doing anything where they get that but but i think as an actor you know you're you're constantly on this razor's edge

between being very self-conscious and then needing to like lose all of that and be very vulnerable for the sake of your craft and i do think it's very hard to achieve a so-called balance you know and by the way i don't know i don't know that when you put celebrity into the mix of things that there's really like a balance i don't know that there's like an equilibrium that you can sustain for a really long time i think you're always i think anybody's going to always grapple with it, you know? I'm wondering, Jenna, if there is something that you do to try to stay grounded. Like, do you have a practice around that?

How do you stay grounded? I don't know. To be honest, I don't have some sort of ritual and I don't have a, and I can acknowledge that I probably need that. But I honestly think just because I'm so close to my family and people that I've known forever, I don't really feel, I don't know. I don't like paying attention to whatever's going on online, and I used to be obsessed with it, and I don't obsess with it anymore. I delete apps and do the whole thing, and I think that that hopes a lot because there's kind of a disconnect. So, okay, I know that I have however many followers

on Instagram, but I don't know. My job is, I'm a very privileged person. I get to go to work and be excited about what I do. And I think I just try to appreciate that for what it is. whether it, you know, sometimes it's maybe not the greatest experience and sometimes it's the most thrilling experience I've ever had. I think I honestly, right now I'm at a place where I'm just taking it day by day and whatever happens happens. And if I feel like maybe I just need to ignore people for a few hours and listen to music and clean or sit with myself or maybe write because I used to really, really love writing and I honestly haven't written in such a long time,

then I'll do that. So Jenna, I actually grew up in Puerto Rico, and I was actually going to ask you if you've spent any time in Puerto Rico and sort of what is your relationship to that community, and do you feel like supported? How do you feel like you're moving towards your goals of kind of representing? No, I've actually, I've never been to Puerto Rico, and I would love to go just because,

culture and, you know, becoming closer with my heritage. But I come from, there's six kids in my family. That's a lot of plane tickets. That's a lot to manage. It's pretty expensive. My parents work full time. I think a big part of it for me too is I don't speak Spanish. It's something that I'm very familiar with. I just never learned how to properly speak or proper grammar. So that creates some sort of disconnect. And even now, I think, you know, Latin representation and media is so weak and really could use a big push but sometimes it's you almost don't feel qualified enough to even do that because even though that's what your blood says or that's what you know your family tree says because I don't speak Spanish or haven't been to Puerto Rico or haven't done you know

things like that it makes you feel almost diluted which kind of is hard and I think as I as I've gotten older, I've developed more of an appreciation for that background and more interest in learning about it. But you get almost nervous to claim it, which is a really weird feeling. You know, all this stuff on culture is really, it's really interesting. I have kind of the reverse of you, Jenna. So I'm also mixed, but I'm not Puerto Rican. But I grew up in Puerto Rico. My family moved there when I was three. I did like all my education there. My mom passed away and she's like buried there until last year we had a family home there. So I feel like very strongly. identify culturally as Puerto Rican, but I never say I'm Puerto Rican because I feel like

I'm not allowed to. But then it's also like it's the most dominant culture that's like influenced me. All my closest friends are Puerto Rican. I feel like I'm always rooting for Puerto Rico if they're ever in an international event. But it is like confusing to also feel like I'm not allowed to say it because it's not in my blood. You know, I'm not technically Puerto Rican. So yeah, I think this stuff is just it's complicated and it's delicate. You know what that makes me think is that, you know, you said Jenna, the feeling that you use the word. diluted which is like it's a beautiful word to use is kind of makes me feel a little bit of almost like i don't know like heartbreak like because the feeling of inadequacy that people have at

that age is you know what has inspired us thinking about this podcast and this concept and um you were like about were you 12 when you were on jane the virgin 13 so can you can you just like paint a little bit of a picture of of who you were at that age i have always always been in immense overthinker. It's to a fault. I'm incredibly indecisive and nervous and I remember that when I started working on that show, I thought I was going to get fired every time I went there because when I auditioned, I had only three lines maybe and I worked those lines multiple times on the two and a half, three hour drive up to L.A. Okay, this is so easy. you just got to go in there, say these three lines, and I messed up one of the lines.

I switched the words around, and I thought, oh, my goodness, I just had my mom do this drive, and I'm not going to book this job. And then I booked the job, and I realized, oh, I really look like Gina Rodriguez, though. I associated myself getting the job with the fact that I looked like Gina. So every time I went there, I felt I had something to prove. Also, my parents told me that they told me two things. that when I started to become an actor. If you do this job, you're going to be given a platform that a lot of people may not

have or ever get the opportunity to have, so you have to use it for good. You can't go around there and do nothing. You have to enforce some sort of positive change. I love your parents. I just needed to say that. Yeah, I love them too. They said that, and they also said good grades. If you don't have good grades, then we're pulling you out.

you've got to focus on school. So I also, during that time, I think I just tend to stress myself out a lot because if I wasn't doing the absolute best on my essays or if I wasn't going to Jane the Virgin set and shaking everybody's hand and greeting everyone with a smile and making sure that they're all right

and that I was attentive and listening and not distracted, I don't know, I kind of felt as if I was always on, which I think is a common term that you're taking. use. I don't know what you mean. It is that performative act which kind of makes you feel weird too because then you go home at the end of the day and you turn it off

and it's oh man I almost don't know what to do with myself because I don't have to answer to somebody or I don't know put all this extra work in and I would it was drive up to L.A. film drive back home to the desert do all my schoolwork in the car go to you know it was just A lot of headaches, it sounds like. Yeah, it was a schedule that I was comfortable with, but I was always on edge.

And I think I still am in a lot of ways. I think it's just the way I operate. And if I do have a moment to kind of relax or calm myself a bit, I don't like to because I feel as though I'm being unproductive and I'm not getting anything done. And then what does that mean for my future and my life? And what am I going to become? So it sounds like the pandemic was great for your mental health overall, is what you're saying? Yeah, it never felt better.

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It seems like the goals that you described early on in this conversation, you've accomplished a lot of them. So I'm wondering if you've set, like, a new sort of goalpost for yourself. Like, what are things that you haven't yet accomplished that you're now, like, that your eyes on, that you're kind of driving yourself towards? I'm not sure. I feel like I'm still kind of caught up on the same thing. I wish that I was somebody who could live in the moment, honestly, because it's, okay, so I did this, but I didn't do it the best that I possibly could have, or this could have been better, or maybe I, you know, maybe my heart wasn't fully in it. And whether or not other people recognize that, I recognize that. New goals, I think a lot of it, I think, is personal stuff, not so much work oriented, because, I really exhaust myself sometimes, so I think that it's more, all right, well, you can't be tired forever. Maybe you're tired of being tired. So then it's just kind of that. Okay, if you're so focused on being artistic or wanting to be creative and feeling like you're not good enough

at being creative, then you should pick up hobbies. Maybe you should play more instruments. Maybe you should learn how to oil paint. Maybe you should learn how to, so I think a lot of, at least my goals especially for this year I guess you could say is pick up a lot of new hobbies rather than because I think yeah the more I focus on work and the more I just know I

I'm going to keep spiraling and keep I don't know it doesn't that doesn't always feel good no and you need a whole life so I think that's very that sounds very healthy what you're describing yeah it's a nice image since we're sort of wrapping we have like a standard closing question

which is just if you could talk to yourself at 12 what would you what would you tell 12 year old jena i would tell her to relax not everything is so urgent or there's no i don't know i was really in a hurry to grow up because i think i wanted to prove to my parents that it was i could manage it they didn't have to worry about me they're making the right decision by supporting me um yeah i I don't think I ever emphasize the importance of childhood or having fun or, I don't know, I kind of withheld myself from a lot of experiences because I didn't want to be perceived as immature or I tried to really sit and observe situations objectively.

And if I felt like maybe five years from now, I'm going to look back and think that was a bad idea, I would avoid something and I wish I didn't I wish that it wasn't so serious all the time I growing up or being a teenager I should have I should have ventured out more and I shouldn't have yeah I mean work is work you're also a kid and it's yeah it's it's just not that serious I tend to make things that serious and I don't think I needed to and yeah I guess that's what I'll tell him just come down go outside Go outside. That's, you know, it's consistent.

It's consistent. People seem to say, like, what I think we can all realize is that at 12 things seem, the stakes seem so high, you know, the stakes seem so high. And in reality, they don't need to feel that way. But for some reason, they do. We're so grateful. We know it's super late there. Yeah. have had a day full of press.

It's been so nice to get to know you. Yeah, it really has. Thank you for joining us. Likewise. Thank you guys so much for this conversation. It's so nice. Jenna was such a delight. I love her.

You know, it's funny. A phrase that you too use a lot about celebrities when you meet them on the show or in real life or, you know, constantly when you're referencing me, which I just, she's so down to earth. And there was a humility and like, yeah, well, as you were saying, like a vulnerability that I'm just really appreciating right now. And what I'm most appreciative of is the fact that we even got this interview because there was a little bit of a snafu, which made me very anxious. Penn, maybe you can tell us what happened today. Yeah.

So I'm recording like 50 minutes away from where I live upstate. I actually don't know anybody save for like a friend who's maybe about 15 minutes away. So right before the interview, I realized with our engineering. and Sophie's lovely husband, David, I don't have my laptop. I thought, you know, every day I'm showing up here with my iPad to record, that's enough. Like a grandpa.

Grandpa with an iPad. Grandpa with high output and efficiency with this iPad. You should see me toggling between e-books. But yes, I'll take it. That's fair. In a lot of ways, I'm like an old man. And I'm texting this friend who lives 15 minutes away. Like, can you bring the laptop over?

And, like, he got the text late. So maybe he could, but it would. And it's like 15 minutes to call time. At this point, even less. At this point, it was like, we're talking eight minutes. So David is actually running around outside, literally running. I saw I'm running in the, it's like eight degree weather and he's wearing a mask. And I'm just thinking like, oh, this podcast, like, what?

Like, I'm about to quit. I quit. I'm about to just let it all go up in flames. And so David, David just very sweetly is like, can you just, you mind just like, I went to the right. Can you go to the left of this building room? To go ask neighbors. Yeah, like go outside. Just literally walk outside.

So I literally go outside. I walk across like a couple of lawns and go up to a door and knock. And this woman answers. Her dog is barking at me. And I pulled down my mask just to kind of like smile and be like, hi. You know, I'm not here to abduct you. A stalker. Unless you know me as one on television, in which case even better.

You might be more inclined to give me anything. she neither thought I was creepy nor did she know who I was and so yeah so I got this old Mac she gave me her password guys she gave me her password and she doesn't even know you're a celebrity no no no no at that point I did explain who I was because I thought it would be give you some capital it's like accountability like if I'm asking a stranger shows a picture do or asking for a laptop

you know I was like I'll give you my ID also I'm a famous actor Have you ever seen Netflix? And then at that point, did she know? She didn't, no, no. She's one of the few. Salt in the wounds. When Nava and I were here waiting, like anxiously as well, to find out what's going on. And we just heard, Penn doesn't have a laptop.

He's asking some neighbors. We were like, who would we give our laptop to? Like, who would have to knock on our door? If Chase Crawford showed up at my door and asked me for a laptop, I would give it to him. For me, it would be Jesse Williams. I thought about this. whole interview. I'd give him anything. Don't tell David.

You can catch Jenna in the upcoming Netflix series Wednesday, premiering this fall, and you can follow her on socials at Jenna Ortega. Pod Crush is hosted by Penn Badgley, Navakavalin, and Sophie Ansari. Our executive producer is Nora Ritchie from Stitcher. Our lead producer and editor is David Ansari.

Our secondary editor is Sharaf and Twistle. Special thanks to Peter Clowney, VP of content at Stitcher, Eric Eddings, Director of Lifestyle Programming at Stitcher, Jared O'Connell and Brendan Bryans for the tech support, and Shrutti, who transcribes our tape. Podcrush was created by Navacavalin and is executive produced by Penn Badgley and Navacavalin and produced by Sophie Ansari. This podcast is a ninth node production. Be sure to subscribe to Podcrush. You can find us on Stitcher, the Serious XM app, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. If you'd like to submit a middle school story, go to Podcush.com and give us every detail.

And while you're online, be sure to follow us on socials, or we're telling everyone that your mom still walks you to the bus stop. You don't want that. It's at Pod Crush, spelled how it sounds. And our personals are at Penn Badgley, at Nava. That's Nava with three ends, and at Scribble by Sophie. And we're out. See you next week. This is Pod Crush.

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