Podcrushed - Lamorne Morris

Episode Date: November 6, 2024

Hot off the heels of his Emmy win, Lamorne Morris (New Girl, Fargo) stops by and makes all of Penn’s dreams come true. Lamorne is candid about volatile days at home, and why he chooses forgiveness; what it was like to be a tiny instigator; and the time he shat his pants in front of his crush. We get into hard days on New Girl, pick up lines in the real world, and playing the straight man in his Best-Actor-cinching role on Fargo.    Follow Podcrushed on socials:Tiktok Instagram XSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada I thought I was going to be funny and when my buddy was trying to hit my head I was on my knees I was going to do splits I was going to like squat down quickly and I remember going like this and my pants ripped right down the middle and so in front of the whole crowd

and so I grabbed my nuts to cover it. So this is like a Lenny Kravitz moment. Yeah, yes. Welcome to Pod Crushed. We're hosts. I'm Penn. I'm Nava. And I'm Sophie.

And I think we could have been your middle school besties. Writing Penn's a whore on the bathroom wall. That's pretty good. Yeah. Penn's a slut. Does anybody get tired of me saying Welcome to Podcrushed?

We want to hear from you. Tell us in the comments. I want to know. When you hear that, when you hear Welcome to Podcrushed, how many people have we lost right now already? I want it. But then also tell us what you'd like to hear instead.

Yeah, that's true. Don't just give us what you don't like. Tell us what you want. Yeah, exactly. I have a question for you, both. Yeah. And this is a little bit, you know,

trigger warning. Tell me your favorite poop or pee story. I got to say these days, trigger warning is used on much more extreme things. I think poop or pee, we're okay. I have one that will out my sister. I'm looking at you guys like, shout out of Jenna.

Apologies to Jenna, just putting her on blast. So, Jenna and I, three-year age different, fought a lot as kids, as I've mentioned. Oh, that's my little dog Oliver barking. He's saying, don't do it, don't do it. She's going to be really upset. So I don't know, we were coming home from some event, and we both really had to go to the bathroom. So we would call dibs. And my sister called dibs on the bathroom, like in the car.

She's like, I call dibs. And I was like, no, like, I really have to go. It's whoever gets there first. So we get out of a car, we park our car in a parking lot. So it's like quite a little bit of a walk to the apartment. So we're both like racing to the apartment, whatever, I get to the bathroom first. So I sit on the toilet, obviously, to pee. And my sister was like, I called dibs.

And I'm like, I'm already peeing. No. And my sister sat on top of me and peed on top of me while I peed on the toilet. Okay, at least it was just pee. I really thought it's going to be poop. It was just me. But yeah, so we both peed simultaneously. She on top of my thighs.

That is commitment. into the toilet. That is, I'm sorry, Jenna. That's a, no, you know what? I thought it was going to be more like embarrassing. I think that she has like a, like some kind of like laser. Yeah. Yeah.

She was like, wow. I call dibs. That's bold. One of my favorite stories is not even my own, but my friend was in high school and he went to the bathroom. He went to go wash his hands and it was one of those soap dispensers that you like push with your palm and then the soap comes out. Pushed the soap dispenser and out came diarrhea.

No. So here he is with his hand Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me finish His hand, no, you wait, this is, what? No, wait, wait, his hand cupped with diarrhea inside a bit And he, he panics and he goes obviously to the other side of the wall You know, where they have another soap spencer With his other hand, he pushes

No, no, no, no Why didn't he check? At that point, look, done a school prank Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. How could you not with diarrhea in your? hand check the other dispenser yeah somebody had brought their own diarrhea what the fuck but it is that person is chopping up body parts and hiding that's not a normal prank that I don't think the word prank that's a hate crime that's a hate crime to everyone in

that guys if Joe Goldberg did that he would be done nobody would stand for that man I don't know Joe Goldberg collected girls tampons this is what I'm saying though this is what I'm saying of him. That is why is that a line crossing that no another is? I don't know. The thing that's so wild about it is that that person doesn't, you know, the pleasure and a prank is seeing the effects. No, he's

a sociopath. That person is chopping up people's bodies. There's no, no, that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's a layer of hell. No, that's cruel. Guys, I don't even know about this opener for the show. This is like, this is, we went from, like, low to much lower. We were adding back the trigger

war. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to walk back my dumb joke we need a trigger warning on this I knew what story I was telling all right let's hear your pathetic little

story now what the fuck is going on what is happening to this show I don't have anything you got to move on we got we got we got our we got to well I just have to

clarify that the reason we chose this opening question is because our guest today does talk about an embarrassing story. At four years old by the way. Let's just get him on record it was a four year. It was a kindergarten story. We stay there for a moment.

This show is not about poop. But it's feeling pretty shitty right now. No, today's episode, we have been very excited for some time. We were knocking on his door long before the Emmys were. But our today is actor and comedian Lamorne Morris.

Lamorne's breakout role you might already know I feel like you probably do was playing Winston in the iconic new girl but recently you can catch him as deputy Whitfar on Fargo which is where he got the

aforementioned Emmy Lamoran is a fellow podcaster his shows the Lamorning after I also wanted to tell him probably one of the best podcast names out there right he's also got the mess around which is a podcast rewatch for New Girl. He co-hosts with Hannah Simone, who played Cece on the show. We really loved having him. He's every bit as joyful as you already know. You're going to love this. Please stick around. We'll be right back.

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My name is Elise Loonen, and I'm the author of Oner Best Behavior and the host of the podcast, Pulling the Thread. I'm pulling the thread. I explore life's big questions with thought leaders who help us better understand ourselves, others, and the world around us. I hope these conversations bring you moments of resonance, hope, and growth. Listen to pulling the thread from Lemonada Media wherever you get your podcasts. Lamorne, I have to tell you, man, I am seriously, I'm a huge fan of yours. I'm a huge fan of yours. The feeling is mutual, man.

Well, that's, I really appreciate that. Seriously, it was such a pleasure to prep for this. because I was already such a huge fan and I was like oh now I have an excuse to watch Fargo which I love the I loved the first season one of my favorite seasons of television like kind of ever I watched it back in the day

and you're you're so incredible in it it is really a tricky thing to play the straight man kind of like right in such a it's it's like I there I say I might know a thing or two about it and yeah it's not you know it's like it's it's and it's also not what you're known for. I know. That was the hard part. So we will, we will get into that. We will get into that. But no, but thank you for coming on. So just give us a snapshot of how you were

seeing the world, what life was like at home, at school. Because it sounds like you were already getting into, there I say, comedy. I mean, I guess you were just funny. But it sounds like, you know, nine or ten you're really discovering and honing this faculty you have. So yeah, just give us a snapshot if you can. Well, at 12, I was, I was in Chicago, born and raised in Chicago, and I was on the south side of Chicago. The comedic outlet wasn't really an option. I didn't know that was a thing, but I was always silly. Me and all my friends, all my friends, we just goofed around all day. I mean, it didn't matter what we were doing. We were roasting each other. I still remember my friend Jason back when we were like 10, 11, 12, something like that. I don't know what it means,

but he called me a venereal fudrucker. And I, until he was like, man, you're a baby. How do you, what? That stuck with me. Like, so all my friends were really silly and goofy. And so it wasn't until we moved from the south side that I realized that that might be an option. Because, you know, church plays are one thing. And goofing off, that's one. thing. But for someone to say, you know, you could make a profession out of this. And I want to say that kind of started around the age of like 14, 15. But when I was 12, I mean, it was just kind of riding bikes around, throwing rocks at random things, try not to get in trouble. I mean, a lot of, a lot of the kids in my age started getting into like the drug business at that point. It was like

gangs, gangs were kind of picking off people who they, kids who they could influence. and things like that. But me and my friends kind of, you know, skated away from it sometimes literally, like on a skateboard or a bike. Right, right, right. And you go, nope, not for us. I'm above the influence.

Is that really how you felt? Like, I wonder why, because it's also so attractive. I mean, I remember at that age the idea one time, well, I say one time, the first time I was around a drug dealer, you know, who was like also a kid. And I saw a gun. And I just remember it being like,

terrifying but like I thought that if I was more of a quote unquote man that that is what I might be attracted to do you know what I mean like what do you think for you maybe that sounds really stupid but no what it would what kept you going the other way well I grew up in a um my my father was a drug dealer when I was coming up uh he was on drugs too um you know and so that that And my mom did everything she could to shield us from that. So I just remember... Well, I guess. Very well, because unfortunately, we would still have to see it.

You know, like, she couldn't hide us from everything. But when you're that age, I mean, again, this is when I was like a baby coming up. I didn't know what it meant. I just thought that was normal life. You know what I mean? Seeing, like, cocaine everywhere. Seeing like... Wow.

Like, drug addicts roaming around your house. Like, I thought that was normal. And then, you know, we got a little bit of... bit older around eight. I hadn't seen my father since since I was about eight years old. And then, so my mom would always just like, you know, kind of instill in us that you see the path that certain people you know went down. That's not necessary, you know, that's not the thing for you. It got to the people where folks like that were in the neighborhood that were dealing and stuff like that just left us alone. And, you know, they weren't like, it was going to sound weird,

but they weren't monsters. They were just doing what they used. They were doing what they had to do. And then there was still like a code of ethics to it where it's like, okay, leave those kids alone. And so we got lucky. And then we moved out to the burbs. That's when I discovered theater. And, you know, and also discovered where, like,

white guys know how to play basketball. I came from the south side of Chicago thinking, oh, I'm about to be a walk on. And then I see this kid named Jeff Van Winkle. You can't get wider. the net and Jeff he was my height

and he was catching alleups he's going between the legs I went no what's my going to do

my time because this is crazy so yeah I just started doing theater a teacher recommended

second city and I just started kind of discovering what that world was like going back

to a little earlier in your childhood I heard you say that you would mock the

preacher at your church when you're like nine or ten and I thought that was so funny I want to hear one more about that and also what kind of role did church play in your life at the time well the preacher is brother brother daniel carter senior that's his name he was the most fashionable guy you could ever imagine he would have one if he was wearing a green pinstripe suit his hat was green his shoes were green he would change the bands off of his watch like the leather be green. And we would sit there as kids and we would just like, we would like make bets. I bet you a dollar that when he comes out, his socks matches, his watch. You know, we would do

that. And then when he would preach, he would do this thing where he would, when he would talk about a specific text in the Bible, he would go, if you turn to the text, ah, I need to be wiping sweat off his brow. and he would do that and then he would get it to the scripture and I used to be dying laughing and I would be right behind my mom going ah and then we had a church play once

and last minute they had asked me if I wanted to be in it they said hey we need someone to play Brother Carter and I said oh yeah I could do it and I was like I've been mocking this guy for years and so I did it and then you know

it became a thing where every when I talk about encouraging, this is probably the first time I realize, oh my gosh, I think I know, I think I know what I'm going to do with my life. Because you take those aptitude tests in school that tell you what you might be prone to do

in the future. You know, entertainment is kind of in there, and that's what it said. But when I was at church, all the folks would come up to me, all the brothers and sisters would go, man, you're so funny. so this. And I thought, wow, okay, that's cool. I didn't, I was just messing around. But all right,

let's see. Let's keep this thing going. And then when I got in high school, Jeff Van Winkle happened. And then, and that was it. Yeah. Lamorne, I was just curious if we could go back a little bit to your home life. I don't know if your parents ever separated and at what point they did if they did. But I would imagine that with a parent who has a substance issue, there would be some volatile days. And I'm just curious how you and your siblings navigated that if those did come around. Yeah, there were a ton of volatile days, man. You know, we, you know, God rest my father. So he passed last year. But, you know, it was rough, man. You know, there were times where you, you know, you would see stuff and you didn't know what you were seeing. I remember, I remember one time I was a

kid, like a, like maybe like five. I might have been four. I wasn't in school yet. I might have four or five and I just remember like my like running through my house trying to like evade my dad because he wanted me to go to work with him and uh and I didn't want to go to work and I just remember it being like

chasing and chasing him my mom and him fighting my mom's trying to keep him and the next thing I know I go hide in the basement and next thing I know I feel like a presence grab me and it's my dad I'm like damn it and then we get on the bus and I'm screaming I'm screaming I was screaming how do he get in the basement how did he get that like you just described a like a jump scale from a movie.

Oh, so inside, so I'll paint this picture for you. Inside the house, you get to the basement, right? But the basement has an out, like a door on the outside, that leads to the outside. So I'm in the backyard. I run downstairs and I'm hiding by the basement door. And then he opens the basement door and grabs me. Oh, I thought you're safe. Yeah.

And then I remember being on the bus and the lady and I was like screaming. I kept screaming, he's kidnapping me. You know, he's my father. he wasn't kidnapping me. But I was screaming this. This old lady was like, oh, that's so cute. How many missing kids we got out here

because of people like that lady. It's not cute, lady. Say something, speak up, investigate, perhaps. You know, so yeah, there were moments like that. You know, I would see like the police were at our house all the time. All the time.

We got to the point where they would show up and they would be like, what's going on, what y'all was going on today, what's happening now? And, you know, lots of, yeah, just a lot of, a lot of dark days, you know. And what was crazy about it was that, you know, you would talk to certain friends and they wouldn't flinch at it, you know, because they kind of, they were going through the same thing, too, you know. You know, especially in some of these neighborhoods, It's like a plague that kind of affects a lot of families.

And the proper, I would say the proper outlets for help weren't necessarily there for my pops other than jail, you know. And we know that doesn't necessarily rehabilitate folks. So, yeah, that was it, man. But like I said, my mom, she did such a great job of being an example, you know, of being this light, you know, for everyone that we especially. to be like her as opposed to the opposition. And that influence was very strong because I don't think twice about, like,

there's, like, I mean, who knows? Those days may affect me. So I just don't know it because I, I, you know what I mean? It's so night and day from the life we've, we had once she moved us out of that neighborhood and out of that environment. And, you know, yeah. When your father passed away, I saw your post on Instagram, and I think you said something about, like, forgiving, like, if relationships are strange, you should try to repair them. You said it better than that. But I was just curious to hear more about that because I feel like a prevailing feeling now is like cut off toxic people. And it was interesting to hear you say something pretty different. Yeah. Now that I have a daughter, I realize how human we are, you know. And like my father, his issues that he had, those were mistakes. and he wasn't able to necessarily battle through those mistakes while we were young.

And so I forgave him a long time ago. I just never informed him of that. Because to be fair, I didn't really know him that well. After eight years old, I didn't know him. So I didn't extend an olive branch. And I always thought, you know, okay, I got tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow.

And the older I got and the more, you know, the more mature you become, the more you start thinking about it, but there's still this level of, I don't want to go down that path of like reopening all this stuff and then, and then, and you never know which way it's going to go, so you just don't do it. And, and yeah, but I remember getting the call. I was with my brother and my buddy we were in Chicago and we were walking through like a we were in a mall where this Oak Brook Mall I remember we we were we were walking and then my brother answers the phone and then he hangs up the phone and he's like Lamourne and he gives me a look and then and I don't know why because this was this was two days after Father's Day and then and uh I

I don't know why, but the moment he gave me that look, I said, is it dad? And he was like, yeah. And I knew it immediately because for years he had been battling sicknesses. And, you know, I helped him out financially, you know. But that was my way of being there because I wasn't ready to talk to him, I don't think. And then kind of, and then obviously at that point you really regret it. You're like, God damn it. Like, people make mistakes.

I pray that I don't, like, I want to be a great dad. You know what I mean? Like, I think we all want to be great parents. That's the thing. But then people, things happen. Like, divorce happens. You know, you might develop an issue, you know. And then next thing you know, you're estranged from your kid.

These people, folks that this happens to, I don't, I don't think they want this to happen. You know what I mean? They're human. That's sure. And circumstances will really, really fuck you up, you know? And I pray that my daughter, you know, that I'm in her life, you know, every step of the way, that she has her parents and she can count on both of them. And nothing happens.

You know, you pray for those moments because, you know, like anything can happen. And, you know, I regret it every day that I didn't, that I didn't, you know, reach out and go visit them and spend some time with them. And, you know, because now going back to my hometown, my family's from Belize, and that's where he passed away, going back and, like, seeing, you know, all this stuff. Like, there's this track that he trained at, you know, you know, I have a half-sister that looks exactly like him. And, you know, his brothers, his sisters, everybody, all the family that's there, all these stories. And I just thought, damn, man, I, you know, pride. or whatever it is made me really miss out on some on some uh potentially like really good stuff

and uh you know it's that's that's why just that's that's why that's that's why that post happened because there are a lot of people dealing with that type of stuff and i just think man life's too short you know don't be like me and living with regret now for well probably be forever you know thank you for sharing that lomorne that's really profound don't go anywhere we'll be right back all right so um let's just let's just let's just real talk as they say for a second that's a little bit of an aged thing to say now that that that dates me doesn't it um but no real talk uh how important is your health to you know on like a one to 10 and i don't mean the in the sense of vanity i mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well right you want to be less stressed you don't want to get sick

when you have responsibilities um i know myself i'm a householder i have uh i have two children and two more on the way a spouse a pet you know a job that sometimes has its demands so i really want to feel like when i'm not getting the sleep and i'm not getting nutrition when my eating's down i want to know that i'm that i'm being held down some other way physically you know my family holds me down emotionally spiritually but i need something to hold me down physically right and so honestly i turn to symbiotica these these these these these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious and i'm telling you even before I started doing ads for these guys. It was a product that I really, really liked and enjoyed

and could see the differences with. The three that I use, I use the, what is it called? Liposomal vitamin C, and it tastes delicious, like really, really good. Comes out in a packet, you put it right in your mouth. Some people don't do that. I do it. I think it tastes great. I use the liposomal glutathione as well in the morning. Really good for gut health. And although I don't need it, you know, anti-aging. And then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8, which is really good for, I think, mood and stress. I sometimes use it in the morning, sometimes use it at night.

All three of these things taste incredible. Honestly, you don't even need to mix it with water. And yeah, I just couldn't recommend them highly enough. Do you want to try them out? Go to symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. That's symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. As the seasons change, it's the perfect time to learn something new. Whether you're getting back into a routine after summer or looking for a new challenge before the year ends,

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effective learning program out there at the best price. I feel like you bring joy quickly, like very, very quickly. You're extremely quick-witted. And I, and I guess I'm just curious, have you ever consciously attributed that to something in your upbringing? I mean, it sounds like there's there's the maybe some of the instability you were trying to navigate and and avoid but then I'm wondering later like you know just as you became a teenager started doing theater how you honed this uh did you ever actively try to like hone that yeah so my mom is very funny my mom is you know really silly my mom will prank phone call me she will really that's cute Wait, like what?

Like, what does she do? Ever, so I remember a while ago, she called me, I came back home to visit and I'm staying in her house. And my old bedroom is literally right next door to hers. And the door is open. And my phone rings. And it says my mom's name. And I answer the phone and she goes, hello.

I was like, yeah. Hey, mom. And she was like, I don't know. She goes, how do you know it's me? Because it's your number. That's so cute. She goes, oh, and she hangs up. And it calls back blocked.

It goes. This woman is great. That's really sweet. Oh, my God. That is so cute. She's always walking around her house, singing opera. Just being silly, man. She's always, you know, she's a serious woman.

It's awesome. But not really. Really? Like, you know, if you get to know her, she's just a goofball, just like me. And so I remember seeing that. When I was younger, like I said, I used to mock the preacher. My mom would like, she would like pinch my thigh. She'd go, stop it, stop it. Or like, squeeze my fingertip. Stop it, stop it. You know, or give me like this look. And I remember once Sister Pool, this lady, she looks at my mom. And she goes, Gwen, you need to knock it off. You were the same way when you was a kid.

I remember. I looked at my mom like, what? You've been holding out on me? You know, when I was younger, it was trying to be fun. Like, I knew that I could break tension that way. You know, being silly, being goofy, people are fighting and arguing. I will come in the middle of it with a joke. Maybe not be a funny one, but I'm trying to, like, get out of this negative space. It didn't always work out.

But then the older you get, yeah, you try to hone those skills. A place like Second City, for example, that's that's me i mean i learned how to do improv there and and um and in ucb and uh um that was it for me it was how do you take all this this weirdness that you have in you and funnel it into specific creative outlets and uh yeah that's that second city it was probably the the bigger form of influence for me on that on that front this is my personality like i have to find levity in something because at least that's what I hide behind

because otherwise I always feel like I shouldn't be in these rooms I shouldn't be talking to people I don't know if I got nothing funny to say I'm just gonna go into a corner I guess I don't know that's kind of how I've been I remember my sister and I we went to you know that night before party

that they do before like Emmys and stuff like I know the vibe you know the vibe to who's who you know what I mean and Julia Louis Dreyfus was there Love her, friend of the pod Yeah, so she was sitting by a bar

Just like kind of standing And my sister is That's what her She's like, we gotta go talk to her And I was like, no Absolutely not Because nothing clever was coming to my mind And I just thought

I'm gonna say something so stupid It's gonna embarrass myself And that'll be it She's gonna look at me And hate me forever And we walk up And her and my sister are having like a pretty fun casual conversation. And I'm included in it.

And so we're talking. We're talking. And then she asked me, I forget the question she asked me. But at that moment, I was done with the conversation because I was like, there's nothing coming out other than something serious, perhaps. And I'm panicking. And I'm not joking. And I don't know why I did this. She asked me a question, and I turned around.

And I just started walking in a different direction. After Julia asked your question. Yes. And my sister was like, oh, no, she looked mortified. Sorry about him. Yeah. Like five minutes later, she comes and finds me and she goes, the fuck was that? I don't know. You panicked and committed.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. I was like some days my brain is telling me, just stay home. Don't talk to anybody. Lamarne, this is so random, but I have a morning like devotional practice. And the quote that I read, the scripture that I read this morning was from something called selections of the writings of the bob and it was saying that like you should never bring grief to another heart and that this is like so this is like so undesirable by God that if

it were possible he would like charge us a fine like a pretty expensive fine every time we brought grief to another's heart and I was just thinking that what you try to do is the opposite right like you're like oh I don't even want to engage unless I can like bring joy to this moment or so I would imagine that the sort of the corresponding opposite of that is that there would be like a reward for bringing like joy and that that's, like, so beloved by God. So as you're saying that, I was thinking about that. For sure. You know, there's the...

So when you die, you will get that bag that you're talking about. Yeah, the $10 million. Yeah. The comedy. It's all coming. Don't you, don't you worry. Now, where am I going to spend it up here? Everything's free.

Oh, man. Yeah. There's a... I think it's in Matthew? I forget. What? No. I did a play years ago called Godspell.

And one of the things was, you know, letting your light shine. We've seen this big, broad musical number. I actually forgot that I'd done Godspell. I had done Godspell. Yeah. I'm sorry, go on. No, no, yeah.

I did it twice, actually. And then I just remember. It was like, Penn's trying to one up you. I also did it. I have not heard somebody, like this whole bubble and this whole time and I was like wow I haven't thought

about it's so long I forgot I did it anyway yeah I should have stayed quiet no no no we can share Godspell note afterwards

there's a whole part of like letting your light shine essentially and that's that's one of the themes of the musical is letting your light shine

and and I take that I took that to heart not just because of the musical I mean I grew up in the church. And, you know, so some of those principles are still in me. But it's always great when you walk past someone and they're smiling, or they smile at you or people are in a good mood. And that's, I mean, that comes from the beginning. That comes from like church and stuff like

that where everyone's always like, hey, hey, hey. And so when I see people, I kind of want to be in a, you know, smile and be in a bright light because, you know, it's uplifting, you know, in every aspect of life. People don't realize how much mileage you could get out of just like just politely saying hello

and then Yeah, that's so true. Keep it moving. Yeah. Yeah. Love that. Yeah, I like that a lot. We're going to move on

to your career soon, but I just have, we have a few more questions about adolescence. And one of them, I'm curious about your relationship with your siblings at this time because I've heard you describe yourself

as like an instigator and you've told some stories around that with your siblings but I'm curious what was your relationship with them like were they funny too was that something you shared

and was that just you? Yeah very funny very funny I'm the youngest so I thought I got licensed to to mess with everybody right I'm tiny

like you can't do anything to me so cute and the model and I don't know why I thought that because one of my cousins Glenn he reminded me quickly that anybody can get it And I don't get a damn, how small you are. My cousin, because I was so small, I don't know why I did this.

I thought that I could just go and hit you in the balls and run. Yeah, I was just right there. Like, it was just a quick jab. Like, you know, didn't need a stepstool, you know. And so I would. do it all the time and my cousin one day was like if you do it again i'm hit you back and i thought that's you can't hit a kid like there's illegal you can't hit a kid you go to jail bro you know and so hit him the balls ran his brother caught me like i remember right the corner of my grandma's house

and he got scared i'm like oh no and so but again you're just going to scare me puts me on the couch grabs my leg like this and just goes and just hopped to be right and fall and I was like

no no no like when I say pain I didn't realize I was hurting them so much when I did that because I had to that point I'd never been it in the testicles so

and that was the day I stopped doing it and so yeah I got away with doing a lot of silliness like that for a while you know my One of the memories I do have of my father was me, my father, and my other brother.

I have two brothers, two sisters, one's a half-sister. But my brother, who's two years older than me, I remember us walk. We were always together. My mom would dress us alike, all that stuff. And one day is me, him, and my father walking down somewhere in the city, walking down a street, and I kept messing with my brother. I kept flicking his ear, flicking his ear. And he keeps saying, stop, stop.

And he goes, Daddy, Lomore keeps bothering me. and he goes, ah, that's okay, he's the, he's the clown in the family. And, you know, I remember, I was like, oh, cool, I get to keep messing with you. I get to, yeah, he said it was okay, so it's okay. So, yeah, I've always been that way. And I still do. I still mess with my siblings. You know, it's just fun to do.

Keeps the relationship alive, I guess. Do you feel like it's going to be harder to dunk on them now that you're the only one with an Emmy? No, I could rub it. Yeah, roll reversal. No, I just add it on even higher. I just pile more. You have to listen to me now. Yeah.

The people have to pull it out. Lamorne, what were you like when you had a crush or when you were like love? What sort of, what are your early memories around that? I'll tell you a story. So I lived in a town called Bellwood, Illinois, right? when I was maybe like preschool, kindergarten, that type of it, that age. So it's like right outside of the city. And there was this girl that was in my class and it was China Brown and was in love with

China Brown. We'd be babysat together and after school, we would always be, you know, hanging out. Then I moved, second grade, I moved to the burbs, a completely different part of the city, like away, like an hour away. and I'm in this class and on day two this girl comes up to me it's gorgeous girl

comes up to me with a class photo of kindergarten and goes, is this you and points to me and I immediately went China Brown like I have media

so we ended up and then we ended up friends and you know I think we went to like prom together or something and oh that like really lasted yeah no we didn't date we didn't date

but we just remained friends you know what I mean and throughout throughout those years. We still communicate through like social media and stuff like that. That's really sweet. Yeah, I just remember being like madly in love with China Brown. So in love her.

Then when I got older, that's when you start realizing like heartbreak and things like that. So my way of dealing with it was putting on like Drew Hill or Cisco. One of those movies.

Yeah. It's just going damn, damn, damn. You know, wallowing in my sorrow while I'm bumping Drew Hill or Jodacy. But, yeah, that's, I don't know. And I, yeah, I would just, I remember when I, when I was dating this girl freshman year in high school. And I didn't, I didn't, until this day, I don't know how to, like, approach a woman in the wild and just start a conversation and get to know that person. I just can't, somebody has to introduce us or something has to be going on where it's more organic.

And this has been forever. So back then, there was this girl in my math class that I really like. And I was trying to figure out how I could, you know, approach her without just doing it in person. And so we had this school phone book with the directory with all the students' numbers in it. And I remember just one day calling her house and asking her if she wanted to help me with math. help me with my math homework and she kind of laughed she kind of laughed at it it was like okay because I was also like I think like top in math at that in that particular class so I really didn't need help like I was like we always get a's on my test and like and she knew that

so she knew what you were doing she knew she knew what I was doing so we dated for a little bit yeah this is an aside this is this is a hot tip that I heard actually from Marcos Sega, who has directed many episodes of you. He lived with Nora Ephron for a while. He, like, slept on her couch. And I guess in that period, when he lived with her, he asked her, what does she consider the most effective pickup line? You know, someone who's like always thinking about romance and writing about it.

And she said that, in her opinion, the best pickup line is, I like your shoes. Because if the person wants to engage, it, like, opens the door for a conversation. It doesn't matter what the person's shoes are like. If they're raggedy, the person would be like, oh, that's cool. They don't really care about material things. If they're really nice, the person's. and be like, oh, they notice that I, like, have these really cool shoes, but that it always works.

Like, it's a really non-threatening entry point to a conversation. So that's my gift to you. Interesting. Gift to every gift to all listeners. That does seem wise. It's totally non-threatening, but it's like, if you want to engage, you can tell me more about them. How about this?

Ask if this would work. Hey, I think your shoes are dog shit and then, like, smart. But your face. Your face? Yeah, everybody. I can't stand to look. look at you. Um,

did that help? Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, yeah, I haven't mastered that yet. So I'm going to try that. I'm going to try that. I like your kids. We should transition to your career, but we have one question that we ask every guest,

which is to tell us an embarrassing story, preferably from your sort of early adolescent years, but, but anything that comes to mind. I was in a musical. Uh, I was, I was in choir, men's choir and concert choir. Um, and one of our men's choir. songs was a song called for like a holiday song called fruitcake and then we all play like nut crackers and then we're like dressed in a certain way and whatever and we're like singing these songs and we're acting nutcrackerish and i i was on my knees in the front and like doing like

a little thing and people were standing at different levels and one of the bits of the song is we put he puts hand down on my head and he goes hazel nuts you know and i like It was weird. But I thought I was going to be funny. And when my buddy was trying to hit my head, I was on my knees, I was going to do splits. I was going to like squat down quickly. And I remember going like this and my pants ripped right down the middle. And so in front of the whole crowd.

And so I grabbed my nuts to cover it. So this is like a Lenny Kravitz moment. Yeah. Yes. This is like full frontal. Yes. Because I was wearing boxers, but

it... Sure, but... With the buttonhole, it was open. And I was exposed. No, no. Wow. And so I was like, it's like, oh, so I cover it really quickly. And then the dean comes in afterwards, backstage, and was going off on me.

The teacher was like, what would you think? Why would you grab yourself in front of a room for the people? It's not the kind of show it is. That's perverted. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. My penis was up. I was trying to shield them from this darkness.

So, yeah, that was, and it was very cold that day, too. So you could imagine. I love that when this story started, you were like, is it embarrassing? Yeah, I guess it is. You guess what an embarrassing story is. Pretty embarrassing, yeah. That's amazing. Yeah.

And when I was in kindergarten, I shit myself. in front of this girl that I liked. Anyway. China Brown. China Brown was in that class and China Brown was the person. She was in that class. It was nap time. I remember I was wearing Ashkosh-Begas overalls.

And I just was like couldn't fall asleep because I had to go to the bathroom. But I didn't want to get up because China was there. And I was like, I got to stay here. I don't want to get up. And then all of a sudden I fall asleep and then. No. No. Real relaxed.

Everything. I was like, oh, no, my life is downhill from here. Oh, boy. Oh, gosh. Lamourne, that's so funny. We had Rami Yusuf on the show a while ago, and he shared that he had such intense FOMO as a kid that sometimes he, like, really desperately had to go poop. But if someone was, like, telling a good story or he wanted to be involved, he would just

shit himself rather than miss out. And he did just like multiple times. It's kind of wild. It's wild. That was like the choice that he would make. Yeah. He was 20. Yeah.

It got done it before. Rather than miss out. It's an easy clean-up. It was bold to tell us that story even. I mean, yeah. It's like, stick around.

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It was oriented towards performance, but then it was the move in high school where it seemed like you had this opportunity. What was the first time that it was like, you know, you got the role or you did the thing? And then I'm just curious, like, the brief that just that you know that that on ramp how did how did it all really get going and where do you go from there well i was in uh i would i was in class um senior senior year in high school

there was a man named bob dobes who was teaching my math class and me and my buddy chris page um it was one of my closest closest friends he um him and i would goof off all the time in class so we would get in trouble and mr dobes his son played baseball um and so he he would always come in didn't have these stories about the game his son had. And so there are days where we didn't feel like working in an effort to get him to talk about baseball and distract him for most of the class. We'd always ask immediately. So how did his son play last night?

He goes, wow, nice for asking. You know, a good, great game. You know, he had two RBIs. He had this. He had that. You know, he did. And we would keep asking questions. And I'm like, my gosh, you know, tell us about it.

And he would keep going. And then after a while he caught on, and there are moments where he would, you can say, Lamoran, is there anything you want to say before we get started? And he goes, anything long in the five minutes, you go to detention. And there are multiple days where I would go to detention. Oh, wow. And he meant it. He would let me, like, deliver a few jokes and then tell me to leave.

And I remember one day when I was in detention, there was this woman who said to me, she goes, you know, you're in here a lot. And it sounds like for nothing, just for being silly. She goes, have you thought about what you're doing post, you know, high school? And I thought at the time that I was going to go to school for sports journalism. A woman, there's a guy named Cory McFerrin on the Fox Network from, like, local Chicago Fox Network, who was a sportscaster. His niece went to my school. So she brought her uncle to school to meet me.

and talk to me about how hard it is to get into it. And the amount of sports research, and you have to know about every sport. And I'm like, there are certain sports that I just hate. Like, I only want to talk about basketball. Like, if I could only talk about basketball, great. So it kind of started swaying me away. And the woman was like in detention.

So fast word, we're in detention. And she goes, have you thought about what you want to do? And I said, well, I thought about journalism, but I'm kind of on the fence now. And she gave me a pamphlet to a place called Second City and said, you know, maybe maybe take a look at it. And for a while, I kind of just paused on it and I didn't. A friend of mine who I knew from, I then go to, I then graduate high school. I go to this two-year college, college of DuPage, which is right across the street from my apartment. And they had an excellent theater program, excellent theater program.

So I went there, got this scholarship. It's called the Chris Farley Memorial Second City. scholarship. And so it's kind of, it's usually given towards comedic performers in theater. And I, so I started a theater program and I met this, this woman by the name of Sarah Keeker, and she's really funny. And she was always doing improv shows around the city. And one day she invited me to one, where I met a lot of dope people.

And one in particular named Chris Watoski, who's on the bear. He's a really funny guy. And he, they just taught me. They just kind of took me under their wing and, like, taught me. And then the next thing I know, a woman from Second City came to check one of our shows and was like, have you thought about Second City? And I went, I have, actually.

I just kind of been slow to getting around to it. And before you know it, I'm there and I'm performing and I'm, you know, having the time of my life, essentially. So, yeah, I guess the rest is history at that point. That was my introduction into that place. And when I was there, I still didn't know how to get myself into the actual television film world. I didn't even know if that's what I wanted to do. I still just had fun being on stage and performing.

So I was inquiring about how to become a teacher, how to become an improv teacher. Oh, interesting. Okay. Yeah, so I thought, okay, that's perfect. I'll be a teacher. And the more I started performing and doing it, the more folks would show up and show me love. and, you know, you got to really shoot for it. And so I would ask these questions to Deanna Griffin, who was in charge of the program I was at Second City.

And she would give me these little nuggets, get headshots. Okay, cool. How do I do that? She'd send me a list of photographers. I'd do that. Okay. How do I get an agent? You know, boom, this is what you do.

You take this, you do this. And every step of the way, she would guide me through that process. And then once you start auditioning, you're kind of off on your own. And, yeah, that's. The rest is history. I just, the old school audition process started getting me commercials and gigs and, you know, and then just building on that. I am curious, so you have a podcast of your own, or you have a couple, which is amazing from one podcast host to another. I don't know how you have the time for that, but one of them is called The Mess Around with Hannah Simone, your co-star from New Girl.

And it's a rewatch podcast. And I'm struck by that because I feel like that says something about your experience on New Girl. To have a rewatch podcast to be able to watch every episode back is, it tells me that you had a really good experience. Is that true? Yeah. I mean... Are you actually rewatching? I mean, not to like, you know, if the veil too much, you are.

Wow. Before every episode, the night before, I watch it and I take notes. And then we also have like an outline. And it's not all positive. You know what I mean? Like we, there are moments where we talk about, I talk about episodes that I hated that I that I think they missed the mark on like culturally that you know there's a different time back then so there's episodes that we talk about like how sexist this show could

have you know got at one point and you know how we you know turn the Schmidt character into this so we do that and like it's like all these weird things that that the normal ups and downs of a show and and we actually compare it to like the ups and downs of a family because there's always ups and downs with a family, but it's still your family. And so New Girl, we looked at each other like family, and it was actually the best time that I've had on a production. Everybody's so funny, everybody's so thoughtful, kind, caring, and we're all still really close friends till this day. And so I remember Max Greenfield, right before we were going to end, Max Greenfield pulls me to the side and was like, he goes, regardless of whatever you're going to go on to do,

after this show, it doesn't get better than this. He's like, this is rare. So don't expect this of what we just went through for the last seven years. He's like, it's not like that. You know, and, you know, I've had some pretty cool casts, but he's right. New Girl was one of those experiences that I,

and the fans are so crazy in a good way that I'm like, man, I'll talk about this show all day. You know, I can't. My fans want to keep talking about it. I'm totally now, and I'm not one of the, those folks that really shies away from past work, as long as I'm continuing to work, you know, the other thing. As long as you keep getting those Emmys.

Yeah. Keep getting those Emmys? I'll keep talking about New Girl. Yeah. Yeah. If I get one, I'll do a Gossip Girl rewatch. Yeah. Yeah.

Lamourne, I do, I don't want to move away from New Girl too quickly, just because it's so iconic and beloved. So I did want to ask you just one question. And since you open the door, what's your favorite episode and what's your least favorite episode? So this answer is going to be strange because it's the same episode, I got to say. My favorite is the Prince episode. Oh, yeah. Because for obvious reasons, you get to hang out with Prince.

And there was so much fanfare around it and so much mystique around him. And when you meet him, you're like, I see why. This man is illuminating. And he's got on so many times. and zippers. You can hear something. Yeah, he could 100%. It's like,

and so he was such a, he was such a nice. That was the most impressive part. He was so nice and just self-spoken and very like kind and gentle in the way he would talk to people. And, you know, and so that was a really cool experience. it was also the worst episode to film because I don't know why and it went away but for a couple of months I had this wild bout of depression and I didn't know why I didn't like I just kind of hit me and I'm assuming it was diet related because you know once I cleaned up my diet the mood shifted and I just remember like being like doing a scene then going in my trailer and just crying for no reason and And I was like, man, why am I so? Everything was going great. Like, everything was going great.

I had a beautiful girlfriend at the time. She was, you know, she was great. Like, the work was going great. Everybody was healthy in my family. It was like, what am I complaining about? And I didn't know. I couldn't pinpoint it to anything. And then my girlfriend at the time, you know, helped me clean up my diet.

And so she started cooking for me, only healthy foods and making me, like, juice in the morning fresh juice and things like that or let's go for a walk we're going on a hike we're doing this and before i know it like i those days are over so that it was probably the exact same episode i would say pen you want to kick off the fargo questions so we talk about fargo well can i ask first did you had you had you seen the show before the opportunity came i know probably before you read and met and stuff you watched it but yeah i mean i was a fan of the show i and and i just become a fan of the show. I had a list of shows in my phone that I was supposed to watch.

You know, people, oh, you haven't seen Sopranos, you haven't seen the Wire, you haven't seen Fargo, you haven't seen this. Right, yeah. And so I was on this tear of just different shows and I got on Fargo and I watched the first two seasons and season two was my favorite. Season

two is like mind-blowing. I thought, yeah, I love season one. Don't get me wrong. It's Fargo, so it's hard to pick you know, but season two with Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemins and Patrick I was like, man, it was great. But I was always a huge fan. Then I got a call saying, you know, there was a potential audition for Fargo.

And I just thought, send me the sides. Let's do it. Let's, let's, let's, let's go. And then my manager called and she said, no, no, we're, you're going to have a meeting with Noah. And I thought, oh, okay, cool. Met with Noah. He, you know, my trick in sometimes in those meetings, I don't know if I want to say it. It's just let them talk most of the time.

And you go, yeah, yeah, I agree. I'm going to use that. Oh, my God, yeah. And then like, because it's the thing, you have your own insights and thoughts on the character and you don't have the job yet. So I don't want to like necessarily really give you what I feel about it because you might go, no, that's not it.

And I don't have a job. So I just kind of, you know, finesse it a little bit, you know, talk about the script more than the character talk about how it made me feel as opposed to what I want to do with the character in that original meeting and I got the part and immediately

there might have been the first time where I felt like this big weight was placed on my chest because it was a direct offer when a direct offer after a meeting but it was an offer without reading and so usually when you audition you know they saw what you did in the audition

so you have a general baseline of how they want you to play the character. I didn't have that. So true. And I went with the opposite of what folks might think for Fargo. And I went, you know, very understated and very still. And because I'm used to, like you said earlier, I'm used to being kind of cartoony and like, I have big eyes. And I'm used to being performative and, you know. Yeah, you really just transformed for this in this way where you're doing, you're doing, you.

you do strip it down, which I just, I love. And it's the thing that goes unnoticed, I think, a lot of times in any performance or anybody does it because it's to do, to truly do little is hard because then the little bits that you do have to carry a lot, you know? And so it's not, it's an understated thing, so I just want to commend you. 100%, thank you, because I didn't know.

When I was doing it, I just kept feeling like moments, like it feels right to me. and Noah is very quiet on set. He's directing everything. So with the actors, his whole theory is, I do a great job of casting, and I trust you. Right.

You know, which is great to have that trust, but part of it's like, when you're trying something new, you want that validation. And for him, his validation was that he, when he didn't have notes,

that means, if he had nothing to say, that means you're on the right path. And it took a while for me to get rid of that insecurity and just trust, my instincts on what it was, what it was that I was doing. And obviously, it worked out. But, but, yeah, it was a complete departure from anything you'd ever seen me do.

Well, we have a final question that we ask every guest. Lamarne, if you could go back to your 12-year-old self, what would you do or say? If I could go back to my 12-year-old self, what would I do or say? Um, I, this is weird. I would say do more push-ups and, and working out is really painful, but just do it anyway, damn it, because in a couple of years, there's going to be this kid named Jeff Van Winkle. It's going to be. Work on your vertical.

Get those squats. I know. I'm not joking. It's, you know, because I like to say that. Yeah, we are right where we need to be, you know, what we've done in the past puts us right where we need to be. But I really wish that now, when I go out in my backyard and play basketball with friends, I really wish I was at an elite level. I really think because the shit talk is so crazy that I'm like, if you only knew, if I would have just kept going, if I could do my 12-year-old self to do more squats, to live more weight. I would definitely do that.

I would take health. I would take my health a bit more seriously, you know. That's great. That's the first time we've ever heard something like that. I like it because it's really practical. And it's true, you can't. I mean, time traveling rules, we can't change anything about the past because then we would change where we are now, right?

And so I like that. Just be like, you know what? Leave all that stuff alone. Just work out a little bit more. Yeah. I would actually tell myself to just not stop playing soccer. I'm so with you on that. I really wish I'd kept it up.

Yeah, same here, man. It's our dreams as, you know, it's the dream as a kid and we give it up at some point. But, you know, we still play when you're older, but now it just hurts to play. Right. Yeah. Fair. Warren, where are you? I'm in Encino, California.

Oh, my dad lives in Encino. I know. We talk often. You know Tommy? Yeah, Tommy two times. We're waiting back.