Podcrushed - Lilly Singh

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Lilly Singh -- YouTube icon, author, actor, and the first female late-night host in over 30 years -- drops by the pod and impresses the hosts with her wit, warmth, and depth. From her middle school obsession with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, to the obstacles she faced in late night, to why she'll still be anxiously seeking her mother's approval on her death bed -- Lilly does not hold back! Follow Podcrushed on socials!  TikTokTwitterInstagramSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada This is a good question Are you really going to start an episode of your own show With a long And here we are I am And I also think that every good question starts with This is a good question

Yeah, I agree It's like when it's like, that's funny I do that all the time But you did earlier today Someone pitch you an idea and you were like That's funny, with the least humor ever transmitted. What is your toxic trait? I just keep playing toxic people on worldwide hits, maybe, is what I keep doing.

And then I speak about it too publicly. My toxic trait is that I cannot resist Oreo cookies, and I cannot, and by I cannot resist, it's like, if there's a pack in my home, the whole first row devoured in a day. I've never finished, I've never had a pack of Oreos not get thrown. away because at some point I feel guilty about how quickly I'm eating them. So I'll like buy a whole package and then eat like half of it and then throw the other half away. That's pretty toxic. You know, that is very toxic.

I feel like that's, that's like internal, that's like toxic like for your frame of mind but it's not I was thinking toxic is more like what do you do it's bad for people. That's bad for the world. Oh, but I, this is like, when people on this question, it's like cheeky. I don't understand that. That's not up and operates.

I don't, I don't really understand. Fun. Is it? Light. Mine mixes both, you know, some anti-environmental action. Yeah, okay, sure, fair. Yeah, so my most toxic trade is throwing things away. Sorry, I'll think of one, so I'll go. But if Oreo would like to sponsor me on this podcast, I will accept.

Oreo, if you want to sponsor us, however, you got to pay me. This was particularly bad during season three when I needed the sleep. Needed the sleep so bad with a newborn and working on the season three of my show. watching videos of Lionel Messi Really? That's surprising I did not know

I just highlight I mean and we're talking like I found that it was happening just too late and it was it was I would think my breath

ooh it's just spending too long on YouTube not a good thing Were you like breathing on your phone like how does the breath play No I'm just saying I could feel how deeply

I wasn't breathing because I was like on my phone you know and it just you know. Oh, I have another toxic trait. Go ahead, let's just list them. No, my other toxic trait and

poor Sophie has experienced this because we're sharing a hotel room is that I can't fall asleep unless there's TV on. Oh, really? I really, it's like the difference It's the difference between falling asleep in 15 minutes or two and a half hours.

You're kidding. Truly, yes. I was thinking this morning, I was thinking about that on the train. I was like, I think Navar really needs to work on that. I do. I do need to work on it. It's a problem. It was in my 20s,

but I also want to say Messy brings me joy too So it's not just a toxic It's like I could feel it on my phone But then at the same time It was like moments of It was like rare moments of like just actual just So your toxic trait is experiencing joy

I'm going to tell you I'm not going to tell you my toxic trait But I will tell you David's Wait I have one for you I have one for you Oh I would love to hear that Well it's just based on the conversation we had recently Is it hoarding?

A little bit mild, mild hoarding Yes yes yes Her home is beautiful and organized No, you guys' home is so... It's so beautiful and organized. It is, but... Horting where? In a storage unit?

I do this thing, I do this thing where... That's what I said. I was like in a storage unit? Ever since I started making art. Horning or hoarding? Ever since I started making art, I cannot throw things away. Like, I will have, like, you know, one of those paper bags, gift bags, like a brown craft paper bag. I will, like, cut off the handles and save them because I'm like, well, I might use them in a collage.

you never know everything is an art material suddenly But your home is so organized That I feel like you're just making art all the time then Because you're using it There's like no waste Thank you. Lying around

Is that not accurate? Yeah, no, that's what it sounds like It doesn't sound toxic at all It sounds like you're bragging I do end up using a lot of them But David's toxic trait I'm so economic I just can't waste

My tactic trade is that I'm crafty And artsy And I'm single-handedly saving the world I use Navas thrown away Oreos In my art Yeah I use these

He just can't bear for them to go to the landfill. David will watch a show in, like a whole season of a show in a matter of hours, like a couple hours, because he gets so bored with the dialogue that he's like, once he gets the gist of a scene, he just hits that arrow button and then is like, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, that's toxic. Especially as a maker of television, I am offended in my core. I told David, I was like, I love you so much. I really, I love you so much. there's nothing I hate about you, and there's nothing that stresses me up, but this gives me the ick.

I cannot. I cannot abide. It's actually, for me, it's crazy. It's so wild. It's weird. Yeah. It's crazy, David. I can't abide either. I can't abide either. David, have you watched my show?

No, I don't want to hear me talk back. I don't want to hear it. You know who wouldn't fast forward through my show? Well, actually, I don't know this is true. The truth is I think she's not seen it. I think she actually told you she's never seen it. But her girlfriend has seen it and loves it. Our guest, today is Lily Singh, a multi-talented comedian, actress, and YouTuber. She's got an audience of over 40 million on her social media.

Her career has spanned so many fields. She was the host of the NBC talk show A Little Late with Lily Singh. It's amazing that they found somebody with the same name for the gig. Anyway, sorry, that one fell flat. I guess now we know why Penn wasn't the host. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was starring on Gossip Girl. She's been in a number of films and TV shows.

She's the author of How to Be a Bals, A Guide to Conquering Life. That book reached the number one spot on the New York Times bestseller list back in 2017. Yeah. She's currently the star at the Disney Plus series, The Muppets Mayhem.

We really loved having her. We think you'll love her too. Guys, crushies, pod crushers. I don't know where we've landed. Crusheries, crusherinos. I like crusherinos. I like Cresherinos. Crushies, pod crushers, listeners.

We want to know what your toxic trait is. Let us know in the comments. Don't at me, though. Welcome to Podcrushed. We're hosts. I'm Penn. I'm Sophie, and I'm Nava, and I think we would have been

your middle school besties. Which means we love you so much, but we're also deeply threatened by you. Does anyone else ever get that nagging feeling that their dog might be bored. And do you also feel like super guilty about it? Well, one way that I combat that feeling is by making meal time everything it can be for my little boy, Louie. Nom Nom does this with food that actually engages your pup senses with a mix of tantalizing smells, textures and ingredients. Nom Nom offers six recipes bursting with premium proteins,

vibrant veggies and tempting textures designed to add excitement to your dog's day. pork potluck, chicken cuisine, turkey fair, beef mash, lamb, pilaf, and turkey and chicken cookout. I mean, are you kidding me? I want to eat these recipes. Each recipe is cooked gently in small batches to seal in vital nutrients and maximize digestibility. And their recipes are crafted by vet nutritionists. So I feel good knowing its design with Louie's health and happiness in mind. Serve nom nom nom as a complete and balanced meal or is a tasty and healthy addition to your dog's current diet. My dogs are like my children, literally, which is why I'm committed to giving them only

the best. Hold on. Let me start again because I've only been talking about Louie. Louis is my bait. Louis, you might have heard him growl just now. Louie is my little baby, and I'm committed to only giving him the best. I love that Nom Nom Nom's recipes contain wholesome, nutrient-rich food, meat that looks like meat and veggies that look like veggies because shocker, they are. Louis has been going, Absolutely nuts for the lamb pilaf. I have to confess that he's never had anything like it and he cannot get enough. So he's a lamb-peelof guy. Keep mealtime exciting with nom-num available at your local pet smart store or at Chewy. Learn more at trynom.com slash podcrushed spelled try n-o-m.com slash podcrushed. Why do we do what we do? What makes life meaningful? My name is Elise

Lunan and I'm the author of Ones. our best behavior and the host of the podcast, Pulling the Thread. I'm pulling the thread, I explore life's big questions with thought leaders who help us better understand ourselves, others, and the world around us. I hope these conversations bring you moments of resonance, hope, and growth. Listen to Pulling the Thread from Lemonada Media wherever you get your podcasts. First of all, it is lovely to have you here. It's lovely to be here.

You look, I mean, this is not, I don't recall I were saying this to a guest. And I hope you take it the right way. You look amazing. Thank you. I will take that all day every day. He's never said that. He's never said that to talk about.

So I want to be honest. I mean, we have, I think, mostly female guests on the show, but I did, but for a moment I thought, well, I don't want to sound somehow like I'm making a comment. This is going to be the first time you see a brown person blush because I will take this. I'm going to take this.

And also, I love that you're saying this just for people, I have complete hair and makeup done, right? I mean, yes, I also know that, but I know that in my world, in our world, you know, it's... And you're looking all right yourself, my right? Emphasis on all right. No, you're all right. You all look great. You all look amazing.

Thanks for having me. From what I understand, I mean, you were born in a, in a very predominantly South Asian immigrant community, or what would you... How would you... I mean, because you talk about growing up where I had the check, I was like, oh, okay, she was born in Toronto, but there's so much Indian culture there, right? Yes, yes, yes, yes. So in Toronto, there's a lot of... of everyone there. Like, I am very blessed and privileged to say I group with all

types of people around me. However, I am from, my parents are from Punjab, India, and there weren't that many Punjabi people in my school. I was probably like one of five maybe in my school. However, there were a lot of Sri Lankan people, a lot of Jamaican people. So it was a huge diverse school, yes. But it was this interesting balance of like, I didn't feel

any racism towards me, but I also sometimes did struggle to find people to relate to. It was like a balance of both a little bit. Right. That makes sense. what what did being what had being a girl meant to you up until this point and what did it feel like looking out into the horizon of becoming a woman right 1213 is like what grade are you in 12 13 7th 8th 6 7th yeah it's 7th pretty much yeah for a lot of well if I could paint you a picture of what I looked like in great 6x4 7 I was wearing jeans that were four sizes too big for me awesome for sure yeah I was wearing a t-shirt that 100% said the rock on it 100%. I had my long hair. I was the biggest tomboy

ever. I was obsessed with wrestling. Like when I say that, I was obsessed. I was obsessed with wrestling. To the point where my teachers would literally call me Lily the Rock Johnson.

Like it was like a thing. My first email address, the underscore Rock 85, a hot month. It's like I was a nerd. Like a big, big nerd. I regret nothing. But for a lot of my

elementary school life, it was that. It was me being a tomboy and me liking all these things that, you know, traditionally are not things girls are supposed to like. And I think a lot of cultures, especially South Asian culture, that becomes very you become

very aware of that because it's constantly told to you, right? Like, this is what girls are supposed to wear. This is what girls are supposed to like. And my parents never said no. But there was always just a little bit of like, this is a phase. She'll grow out of it. Eventually she'll like, you know. At a young age, I remember also like,

Being a person in high school was, like, would fantasize about my wedding. And I'm like, what kind of messed up? And you think about it. Like, how many young girls do you fantasize about their wedding? I'm like, that's messed up if you think about it, that you think as a young girl that the highlight of your life is going to be marrying someone out. Like, what? It's so messed up. So I was a tomboid, but I also still had some of these, like, traditional girlier thoughts because they would be fed to me.

Lily, when you say you were obsessed with wrestling, was it like you liked to play or you consumed all of the wrestling content? So I liked to watch it. I was obsessed with The Rock. Like we know, I had the cardboard cut out of him. I would write about it in school projects. I would save money to go to the wrestling events. Just everything across the board. I was obsessed.

What was so appealing? Well, it was the talk of everyone in my school. Everyone in my school really liked wrestling. I always had, like, I was like, not to sound cliche about, but I was like one of the guys. You know, I would always be the guys talking about wrestling. It's something about the Rock particularly, Dwayne Johnson, that I appeal to. maybe it's because he was one of the few people that kind of looked like me and that attracted me to him but it's just his charisma

and the storylines like as a six-year-old just like oh my god it's my life will end if the rock loses the championship like my life will end actually today right there are storylines I forget that as a person who just somehow never tapped into that it's like it is a story yes it's like a soap opera in a way 100% of soap opera yes Lily you just described yourself as one of the guys in elementary middle school. Can you tell us a little bit more about that?

Did you feel more comfortable with guys than with girls? And what do you think contributed to that? I just feel like I was never really like other girls in the sense of like they really were subscribing. And maybe that's genuinely here they are, so that's fine. So like things I wasn't interested in. Like I didn't really care about talking about like boys

and like crushing on people and like I didn't really care about fashion at that time and I could not care less about makeup at the time. So I think to my interests, you know, I just was kind of more open about them being different, to be honest. I've always been that way, much to my parents dismay. I've always been very like, but this is what I like. And like, I don't want to like what you want. This is what I like. And that's been really great, but also super challenging.

Because life, let's be real, what is life, if not a bunch of people at different stages in your life trying to put you into a box? And for my entire life, whether it's what I want to wear, what I want to do is my job, what I want to do is my job, what I want to do, to identify as who I wanted to be with like every step of my life like the universe created me in a way where they're just like you're going to be against all of it

you're going to need so much therapy for so many reasons like we're going to make you against all of it wow can we actually get into your parents a little bit I mean obviously you're one of the greatest YouTube icons I'm obsessed with you

I'm obsessed with you you're just so sweet my life thank you I'm gonna blush now and one of the things that helped you blow up where your sketches about your parents.

So I want to know what is your real relationship with your parents like? What was it like back then? And how did they feel about those sketches? Yes, of course. So let me just first say, because I don't want my parents

to kill me, those characters are just inspired by my parents, but they're actually very different from my parents. My parents growing up, we're on more of the liberal side. Like, they had some strict rules, but they weren't like that stereotypical parent

we see on TV. My parents were not that. I had a little bit of a rough relationship with my parents growing up like most teens do because, you know, I wanted to rebel and do all the things. I'd say right now, my mom is like my best friend. Like she is honestly, something I'm most proud of in my life, actually, when I think about all my achievements, is my current relationship with my mom. Because I think there's so many reasons as to why it couldn't be the way it is. I came out. I did YouTube. I did all these things that like everyone in the community

would probably tell her like, your daughter's doing this. Why is she doing it? this, it's so against what we're used to. She has every reason to be like, you are difficult and you make my life hard, but she's just completely also rise to that occasion to be like, no, my daughter is doing something different and like, I'm learning from her and whirling from each other.

She's like, I really applaud that because when you're a minority, the challenge is you can't separate yourself from your parents. You can't. They are mentioned in every interview and every podcast, and especially because I made videos about them. So, not only am I forced to rise to the occasion of my job, but my parents are also forced.

by what just inevitably to rise to the occasion as well. Does that ever feel like a pressure for you? Like for me, sometimes I feel like there's certain things I can't say. Also, I don't want to. Like, I don't want to go live and, like, speak ill of my parents. You know, everybody has faults. But I just wonder if that also gives you some pressure. Do I feel pressure?

Yes, yes. Yes, let me look at the camera. Yes, I feel pressure. It is something I'm actively working on. In fact, in my last therapy session, He's got deep here I was talking to my therapist about this because there's a lot of things in my childhood

I have a very public life but there's a lot of things that I'm hesitant to talk about because it's not just my story it's also the story of my parents and my family members and that gets tricky because you're like

how do I talk about myself and honor my own experience without also making everyone else's experience is super public that's a tricky line to toe It's very hard for a long time Yeah and so I think where I am now is I'm constantly

negotiating that space but I think where I am now is that I would rather just get better at having those real conversations with my parents and knowing that maybe not everything can be something I talk about in an interview but that is maybe okay and that's maybe where that compromise has to be

as long as I can be very open to my parents because I think what's difficult is if you're not open in public into your friends but you're also not having those conversations at home with your parents that can be a really lonely place to live in and so my goal has been to just be a lot more open with my parents

and talk about, are you ready for this? My feelings. Like, my feelings with my parents. Yeah. How are things with your dad? They're good. I love my dad a lot. I will probably say I'm probably closer to my mom.

Yeah. My dad and I, we have an interesting dynamic. So we love each other and we're strangely competitive with each other. Oh, that's interesting. It's very strange. And I'll tell you where, I'll tell you with the psychology of this. It is that, you know, we're part of our culture where the men, it's a patriarchalical. cultural culture, the man takes care of things.

He's supposed to make the money. He's supposed to dominate. He's supposed to be in charge. He's supposed to be the one that makes it for the family. My dad is very successful. However, now he has a daughter that is very successful. Right? And so now he has a daughter that

perhaps has a car that he's like, why do you have that car? So we love each other, but we have this little bit of like, so if I call and be like, Dad, I got this new car. He's like, oh yeah, but do you know what car? I just bought your mom. And he'll start telling me all the features of the new car. And I'm like, no, Dad, I'm not trying to

compete. He's like, no, I just want you to know. I just want you to know. And then when I bought my house, like, the one of the first questions, congrats, one of the first questions. So how many square feet is that? How? I'm like, well, why? How many square feet is your house? Whatever yours is minus plus 10. It's plus 10 of your house. So it's like, it's not like super serious, but there is definitely a little bit of like competitive nature. Yeah. For sure. That makes sense. That's a fun way of saying it's unhealthy. Well, nothing. Yeah, it's sure. But it actually, it does. sound like um the most fun version of dysfunction maybe yes totally i mean i i definitely went through

a period of life where i was like like most people my parents i just don't know how we're ever going to see eye to eye i just don't know how we're ever going to have a relationship and i got to give my i'm at the age now where i can give my parents the props they deserve because i have put them through the ringer like i have whether or not it's right or wrong is not the conversation like If we're talking about sexuality, I'm not saying that, like, it's right, it's wrong for you. It's not about right or wrong. It's about they are from a time and place where that is still hard no matter what. And so I give them major props because every time I have, like, taken them for a world one, they have just been like, all right, we are going to figure out how to be supportive parents.

And so that's really tough. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have siblings? I do. What's that like? I have an older sister. She is six years older than me, which is like a pretty common age difference, but it's also pretty large.

So she was kind of like a parent to me growing up sometimes. And even sometimes until this day, and I don't mean this offensively in any way, sometimes I'm more scared to tell her something than I'm scared to tell my mom something till this day. She just crushed it as an Indian daughter. Like, frigging crushed it. Married, a baptized sick guy, has three sons, just got the degree, did everything. Nailed it. Just nailed it.

Which was great because. And she nailed it to the point where a lot of my aunts and uncles don't even feel bad being like she's our favorite. Like, they'll just say, like, she nailed it to that degree. But she's awesome and I'm proud of her. And honestly, it took a lot of pressure off of me. I feel like I could have zero kids now, and it's going to be okay. Yeah, yeah. Because my parents have three grandkids, either way.

Yeah. That makes sense. So did you grow up in the sick faith? I grew up, my family's not very religious. Growing up, I was probably one of the most religious members of my family. Really? And I'm going to say an extra L.A. thing right now, which is, I'm not religious, I'm spiritual. Yeah, that is the most L.A.

Yeah, and so I'm not religious, I'm spiritual. I believe in God. I talk to God every day. But I, as someone in the public eye, maybe you all can relate, religion can feel very icky in the public space because it's used as ammo more than it's used for unity, in my opinion. And so even if I have certain beliefs about, like, God and religion, I try not to be super public about them. because I'm like, it's doing for me great things, and I don't want you to now turn that into something that can be used as an attack against me. I don't think that's a healthy relationship to have. Yeah.

I used to get comments that were like, when I had religious structures on my wall or something, paintings of them. In my early YouTube videos, I would literally get comments that would say, how dare you wear a tank top in the same room as that picture? And I was like, okay. People start judging you harder.

You really hate women out here. I don't want to deal with that. Like, you know, that's just not where I'm trying to be. That makes sense. I totally respect that, and I think that's probably a good take. I wonder about something you said earlier, which is that you were probably the most religious person in your family growing up. I'm so intrigued by that because I feel like as a child, I mean, I don't know if that's unique.

It sounds unique to me. Can you talk about that one? Yeah, so my family didn't go to the temple consistently. I actually at one point went every day by myself. Wow. As a kid growing up. I would age. I'm curious.

A little bit older. I say kid as if I'm kid means like 16 university okay okay high school high school university

yeah yeah right I went by myself did a lot of a lot of religious reading a lot of religious volunteering and I still believe in a lot of those values of like service volunteer

believing in God but it got to a I think what pulled me away from it is exactly what I just talked about is it became a lot about like rules and what to do and what to do and what controlling

and I'm not saying this about my religion specifically or my temple specifically. It's just like, that's kind of how people were talking about religion to me. And I was like, this is not the conversation I want to be part of. So I still believe in a lot of the same things, but I refuse to let people attack me over it. Yeah. No, that totally makes sense.

It's interesting. I'm religious. I'm Baha'i. And I'm sort of someone that, like, I like to share anything that I think is useful to me. So I'll post like an Instagram story of like, I started using this moisturizer and it's like my favorite moisturizer. So there was like, and I'll post about religion or God. Right.

And a few weeks ago, I posted something, I don't remember what, but about, but about, Something about God that I felt was like an insight that helped me. And someone DMed me and was like, I really like you, but it makes me cringe anytime you post anything about God. And I just think you should know that that's cringy. And everything else about you is so lovely. And I sat with, I wasn't upset at all that she said it because I actually felt like she was sort of like, you're so great, but you don't know how you're coming off. But I sort of sat with like, am I going to let that deter me? And I feel like, no, like I wasn't upset that she shared that.

And I'm not, this isn't like a countertaker. No, no, absolutely not, yeah. Like, yeah, it's like, oh, you have to weigh it, but because some people hate it when you do that stuff. But it's just like, I find that it's useful. And I wish more people talked about their relationship with God because it would help me. Like, there are tips to make that relationship stronger. I think the general rule of thumb should be, you raise an interesting point. It's like people, I wish the culture was more encouraging of people of like, take from anything in anyone what helps you be better.

Exactly. But don't attack what does not, right? Like, I also talk about God a lot, and I do get comments like that as well. And I'll get the, like, talk about this more, talk about it. I'm like, take what helps you instead of trying to change me into what you think helps you. You know what I mean?

I think this entitlement of like everyone has to give me what I need from them is like just you're never going to be happy if that's your mentality. Yeah. I mean, I think there's two things. A, well, she's going to hell, clearly. B, or two. Facts, big facts.

Is that... Sketch idea. Sketch idea. Gates of heaven. I see you called me cringy under an Instagram one time in 2023 you called me cringy

and so I'm going to have to like what do we do it? We know God is petty as well but honestly that makes me that clarified something for me about comments it makes me think about also how we're in how we're

limited to our engaging with each other because I feel like it to me that's like such an odd simultaneously thoughtful and thoughtless comment but then it does make me think how often would anybody ever say any of these things

if they were just face to face with the person? And it's like never there's a very false relationship when people talk about parasycial relationships there's a there's a construct there that's just never happening in any other scenario so I mean it's weird anyway no it's true like I can

ask you this, you said you get a lot of comments. Has anyone ever in your life come up to you and said a mean one of the mean comments? Please don't say yes. That's a great question. He's like, actually yeah. Well, no, I mean, so I think that there is not outright, like kind of some of the worst things have been commented about me.

Of course not. Right. Of course not. We have had a guest on here who basically did who was just sort of immediately treated. What's their name? What's their name? What did they live? Well, we talked about it. It was Sophia Bush. She was, she was, you know, she had this interaction with a, with a person who just basically was an in-person troll.

Like, in a really, I hope. Wouldn't stop filming her, called her a TV prostitute. Yeah, just like, in a really anomalous, like, awful way. But I guess what, you know, that question you had, Louie about, has anybody ever walked up to me and, like, comment, spoken to me like they would comment? No, but I do think what happens is the interesting thing where, because, if they know me and they're that excited by it, they're accustomed to me not being there in real time. And so, and the only reason I know this

is because it just happens all the time. I wouldn't, you know, I figured I was just happening once or a couple times I wouldn't notice the trend. No, we get it, you're famous. It's happened a lot. Yeah, we get it, you're famous. Uh-huh, yeah. Well, very.

Get out of here, get out of here. And for a very long time. Get out of here. For nearly two decades. Well, you were wearing the rock t-shirts, literally. I was wearing my own t-shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For a second there I thought you were telling me that someone came on the show as a guest instead of the mean to you I was gonna be like audacity I know The audacity

When Jamila Jamil told you to get to the fucking point I was like what that mean It was Anyways Wait but wait what were you I want to hear the end of it I don't know that it could I don't know that we have time for such a

You said there was a pattern What was the pattern? The pattern is just that like people don't really They're not accustomed to seeing me As a human in front of them So there isn't really the habit of it's more of like an objectified kind of relationship so there is still this idea to be like they'll comment as though I'm not there oh I'm just like let's take a picture and you know

it's just sort of like there's this relationship and you know again like I under I've actually experienced it enough to understand better more or less why it's happening so I certainly don't take it personally and can't judge them personally but it's just it's not like an interaction it's more like a comment section. It's kind of, and that's not, yeah, yeah. That's not normal either. Yeah, totally. What about you? You're very famous.

Have you experienced anything like that? For a decade, for a decade. Not quite two, but it's half. You weren't able to wear the t-shirts while you were. I have lots of t-shirts now with my face on them. I was, why are we doing this? I don't know. I'm not really sure.

Because it's an audience, it's an experience for the listener. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I got it. I got it. Yeah, no, I have to say, the things I get, no people do not come up to me and say I relate to your experience of like people will dehumanize me a little bit and not say hello or not ask permission for things just kind of jump in my face which I get

they're excited and it's cool but in terms of like the mean comments I get no and so I always remind myself that it really does exist on your phone and the second you put it away it actually doesn't exist at all that's cool that's really healthy it doesn't exist at all that's healthy Lily yeah but thank you so much thank you for calling me healthy that was like the best compliment forget your compliment She told me looking good.

Yeah, it's only superficial. Yeah, you gave me a superficial you look good. At that. She said, I'm healthy. That's what I want to hear. That no one has ever called me healthy. That is just, wow. I got called healthy today.

I can't wait to tell my seven therapists. Tell your sister. Call your sister. Oh, my God. I can't wait. You think you're so good with your sick, baptized husband. I'm healthy. These complete strangers that talk to me for two minutes.

That's so. So it must be true. and we'll be right back all right so um let's just let's just real talk as they say for a second that's a little bit of an aged thing to say now that that dates me doesn't it um but no real talk how important is your health to you you know on like a one to ten and i don't mean the in the sense of vanity i mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well right you want to be less stressed you don't want it as sick when you have responsibilities um i know myself

I'm a householder. I have two children and two more on the way. A spouse, a pet, you know, a job that sometimes has its demands. So I really want to feel like when I'm not getting the sleep and I'm not getting nutrition, when my eating's down, I want to know that I'm being held down some other way physically. You know, my family holds me down emotionally, spiritually, but I need something to hold me down physically, right? And so honestly, I turn to symbiotica, these vitamins and these beautiful little packets. that they taste delicious and I'm telling you even before I started doing ads for these guys it was a product that I I really really liked and enjoyed

and could see the differences with the three that I use I use the what is it called the liposomal vitamin C and it tastes delicious like really really good comes out in the packet you put it right in your mouth

some people don't do that I do it I think it tastes great I use the liposomal glutathione as well in the morning really good for gut health and although I don't need it you know anti-aging and then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8

which is really good for I think mood and stress I sometimes use it in the morning sometimes use it at night all three of these things taste incredible honestly you don't even need to mix it with water and yeah I just couldn't recommend them highly enough if you want to try them out go to symbiotica.com slash podcrush for 20% off plus free shipping

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day, part of your motivation is to make them proud. I wonder, it's like a two-part question, does that still ring true for you? What do you think makes your parents proud? And also, what was school like for you, right in that context? On to the first part, which is, do I still try to make my parents proud? I am confident that when I'm in my casket, I'm going to be thinking, I hope they like this casket. I hope they agree with the colors in this casket and my choice is here.

So you do believe in the afterlife, is what you're saying. Come down this path. Yes, I think, you know, I have something called immigrant hustle. You know, I think my parents didn't make an active choice one day being like, we want excellence from our kids, is they were forced to be excellent to survive. You know, they immigrated from India. I think my dad immigrated in 1972. I had to work a million jobs, a classic immigrant story.

But, like, they were focused on making sure they can make it, that they could provide. And that takes a certain level of resilience and striving for excellence. And so it comes from a place of just wanting us to. be okay. But yes, I think I really do have that embedded in me. I without, at risk of sounding like I have an ego, I'm an extremely hard worker. I really struggle to

find people that can work as long and as hard as I do because I really do have something that I've gotten from my parents that's just like, you got to do it. You got to get up. I don't have that. I'll give you a small small example. When I used to live with my parents, anytime my dad would have to drop me to the airport, okay? It doesn't matter what time I would wake him up.

He has to drop me at three in the morning, two in the morning. I just like, hey dad and he would get up out of bed right away and he would in two minutes be ready to drop me and i noticed that there was no gray area of time where he had to like wake up a little bit and he had to convince himself that this was important like that little that little grit that you need and that's the best way i can describe myself if i have a task ahead of me and i'm like this is a really hard task there isn't that two hours i'm like oh my god i just will get up and do that Amazing, Lily. And I think I get that from my dad.

And it comes from this, perhaps not always healthy habit of, like, knowing that it needs to get done and there's not a choice. And if you don't do it, someone else will do it. And so, like, that is embedded into everything I do, definitely. So I always try to make my parents how. I'm trying to do that more healthier these days because I'm such a healthy person as we've established. Make healthy choices. I mean, it's being called into question. Yeah, I'm sure the listeners are like, are you, though?

Are you healthy? But you look great. Amazing. Amazing. So that's my fallback. That's the compliment I fall back on. In terms of what school was like, do you mean like elementary school, high school? Middle school. Middle school. Okay, so... Topic of the show. Middle school, of course. To explain that to me as someone who's a Canadian now. What grade is that? Yeah, right. It's 11 to 14. The ages. The ages of, yeah, like 11 to 14, 15. Right, right. So yes, that for me was like 7, 8 and going into high school a little bit.

really figuring myself out and not knowing where to go. So, like, a lot of people asked me when I came out, like, did you know you were queer forever? I think if you look at pictures of me from back in the day, you might joke and be like, really? I really did not only came out to myself truly when I was 30 years old. 30 years old was the first time I told myself, I think I am queer. And no one believes that because they're like, really, but you like wrestling.

I'm like, those are all stereotypes. But you liked wrestling. Don't you think the rest of it? I mean. Exactly. But, like, all those stereotypes. types aside, if I look back at that, it was really me just constantly trying to figure myself out. Like, where do I fit? Am I Indian enough? Am I being a good Indian? Am I not? My parents

proud of me? Am I too girly? Am I not girly enough? What should I wear? Every day, I remember getting ready for school and being like, like, I would have these conversations with myself. Like, I guess I wore this, like, I wore raggy clothes for a lot of the days. I guess today I'll wear, like, tighter pants today. Just like, just so I can feel like I know what I'm doing a little bit. But that was what school was like for me. But I also will say, school is where I learned that I loved entertainment. One of the biggest things in my life in middle school, and this was

like the make or break, y'all, is about to get real, was the talent show. International Light talent show was my life. I was like, my performance is going to set me up for the rest of my life. I was a dancer, but I took that so seriously. It was

beyond serious how much I took that. What kind of dancing did you do? Bangra dancing, like Punjabi dancing. I'm a training. Bungra dancer. That's amazing. And so I was known in school is like being the dancer girl and I just like took it wait that's that's another threat of mine I take things I can't do anything casually you commit that's pretty clear I can't you're like we get it no no no not just here in like just in all of your content everything it's just like I have to do it to the up teen degree or else I just can't do it yeah yeah do you find time to relax

how do you do that this is a great because now I'm going to prove I am healthy right now so for a lot of my career from like 2010, when I started making YouTube videos to like 2016-17-ish, I will admit that I probably had very little work-life balance. You know, when you start at our digital creator, there's no boss, there's no hours, no punching in, there's no punching out. It's as hard as you are going to work as how you're going to see the results, you know. And so I would stay up into ridiculous hours of the night editing or spend days and days in a row sitting at a desk.

I can't necessarily say, and this is going to be an unpopular thing I perhaps say, I can't necessarily say I regret that because I do not believe. I would be where I am right now if I didn't do that. And I do think there's a certain age where you like have to have that grit and you're starting something you're trying to climb a ladder. Now my version of work-life balance is as such

it's in seasons. I think it's a delusion to believe that you can have that every day. And I think that's how we're encouraged to think about it every day. Like if you work this, you got to do this after work and X, Y. In my industry, that's just not possible. It's not possible. It's not possible. At all. Exactly. You have to, it's

it is seasons. Exactly. It's not. And I think people have kind of judged me to be unhealthy because I'm like oh no I'm shooting and I cannot hang out with you for the next three months because I will do nothing else

and people that are not in the industry will be like that sounds really unhealthy no because after that I'm going to a very long vacation where I do nothing and we're forced into that schedule it's not possible to the whole

I'm in a rap set go home meditate yet yeah I do try to meditate every morning and I still do that but you can't have that level that's not a balance though that's clinging on to the bare minimum trust me I'm hello

I do that every day it's not I'm not I'm okay because, no, I never said I was okay, yeah, I'm not okay. I am okay. Yeah. Because I get the bare minimum of meditation and prayer every day, you know, with the extreme schedule that will come, but I'm not like thriving because of it. I'm hanging on.

Yeah, exactly. But I think it's in seasons. You know, I accept that, like, for example, I'm on a press run right now. I've had a very, very tiring day, except for this because this is awesome. Yeah. Sure. But, no, that sounds like that is the energy drink. I was like, it's still pretty full.

It's still pretty full. See what you need is that first sip I find it's 90% placebo It's be real It's almost all placebo But yeah You know, sales and seasons Yeah

Lily We have a couple questions We ask every guest Please Can you share an embarrassing story From your tween years Oh my twin years How embarrassing we going here

There's so many to be directions As embarrassing as you're willing to get I mean Okay I'll tell you about it I want to die inside Oh, yes. You're like, yes. That's how far you want you to go.

Like, are you recording, is everything? Okay. And I really hope these people are not listening to the podcast. They're probably not. Name them. No, no. We'll find out. We'll check.

I was hanging out with, it was my, I think, ex-boyfriend at the time, actually, and a bunch of his friends. And, okay, of course, there's a group of dudes again. I was hanging out. I just dropped by to say they were playing a bunch of games. And he was trying to get me to stay longer. I was like, I don't want to stay longer. I have things to do, and I don't want to hang. with my ex right now. It was like a weird thing.

So anyways, the configuration was I was standing at the table and they were all sitting on the floor around the table and he was trying to get me to stay and I said no. And so he yanked at me and he yanked my pants. Oh no. And they completely came down.

Including underwear. No. Including underwear. Oh, geez. I know. Luckily my shirt was long, but I'm pretty sure along the Rock Johnson's shirt. Yeah. I'm pretty sure they saw some butthole. Oh my goodness

Lily It feels like at that age That could be traumatizing How did you feel? I think they saw some butthole Please say And you know what And then I went home

And then I went home And I looked in the mirror And I like Redid the configuration And I pulled down my pants To be like What did they see At what angle did they see

How much butthole did they see? Did they see pubs? Like I wanted to know I wanted to know So I had to keep reliving it over and over again Just to like You know look at them They're laughing over there

Behind the glass Like it was a whole thing they were like yeah he felt so bad about it and you know what I will say at that age you know what I really respect it

I saw it because I turned around quickly and I pulled him up but I saw actually him beat like to his friends like don't do not make a do not and I was like are we gonna get back together right now

and he's like well not after that but I remember being mortified no that's mortifying like that's rough yeah but did you have a hard time

making eye contact with him in the days after but oh but yeah no I had a hard I left like one minute later I was like I'm out of here

I need to go home and do this again in the mirror 50 times yes absolutely that's amazing you crushed it okay other classic question can you tell us about your first love and heartbreak

whatever age that happens besides the rock right we're not talking about because that was my first love and my first heartbreak because now we're actually friends and he texted me once

that he said and I quote Hey, sis. I was like, no! No! It was the worst day of my life. It was the worst day of my life. I'm sweating.

My first love, yes, okay. In elementary school, so I think in grade like six maybe, oh my God, my parents are going to find out of us for the first time. Sorry, Mom, sorry, dad. I had a boyfriend. And this goes back

to what I was talking about earlier. I was like, kid, you're encouraged to, like, think way beyond your years. And I remember being so stressed, and I was like, what, 12? Being so stressed one day because I was like, oh, my God, like, I really love my boyfriend. What if his parents don't accept me when we get married? Like, that's what I was stressed when I was like, what if his parents don't accept me when we get married? Like, how can I make his parents? And I was like, what a deranged thought to have at 12 years old.

Yeah. And so that was my first heartbreak and why we broke up was because we had a fight. because he got jealous of me saying I think B2K was sexy You know B2K the group? I remember the group I'm trying to remember Omarian

Oh yeah that's right And I was like oh my God Omario and so sexy And he got really mad And we got in a fight and we broke up Wow Oh That's

Guys I chose I'marian if you're listening Well he was also undeniably sexy Thank you I feel like certain people You have to be like You're correct

Yeah it's true You're correct. Well, I can't be dating that type of nervous, that type of jealous energy anymore. Yeah. It can happen. It can happen. For B2K. I'll never forget.

I'll never forget it. I remember at that age, at least as a boy, as a young boy, like, you know, blossoming, all those things. It's just, it's like the idea, you know, that kind of fragile masculinity. Part of the reason it's there is because, I mean, I could go on a whole thing right now. I'm going to add some context, and I'm not saying it's correlated. I'm just going to, I'm not saying it's correlated. Sure. But I was taller than him.

That's all. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. So, no, I mean, look. By a lot. Yeah. Well, there we go. I was a taller girlfriend that liked Omarian.

That's all I'm saying. Yeah. Wasn't he quite short? Omarian? Yeah. But I was 12. It would have been taller than her. Okay.

All right. And I don't know if you're short. And it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Shout out the short kings. Yeah. That's right.

That's like a season one throwback. We had a running joke on here about short kings. Okay. About how pen is a short king? Are you a short king? How are you? This is, I don't want to go into this because I, because no matter what I say, I mean, I am undeniably 5-10. Okay.

That's not a short. Okay. I'm not going to say anything else. Great. No matter what I say, I can't win on this one. I can't win. I cannot win on this one. Okay.

If I say it is or it isn't, there's factions. Yeah. There's, I'm, look, science. I take my shoes off. I am 5.10. If I say Morian is sexy, are you offended? No. That doesn't matter how tall you are.

But it doesn't matter how tall you are. It's just a cure. It's a less scientific statement than me being 5'10. But yes, you're right. We'll take both as objective truths, and we shall move on. Lily, I think we want to get into your career also. And I'm just curious, why did you get on YouTube? And how did it feel when you started blowing up?

Like, how quickly did that happen and how did it affect you? I started on YouTube, so I was like pretty late on YouTube compared to my friends. A lot of my friends was like, there's this website, it's called YouTube, and I was like, sounds stupid. Little did you know. I know. It was in my last year of university, actually. And I was, like I said, I was a very creative kid that loved entertainment.

What were you studying? Psychology. I have a psychology degree, which I use. Oh, wow. Clearly every day. But I loved entertainment. But, you know, you're growing up in your kid in Toronto. You don't really know what that means as a career. You know, there's no casting agents.

There's no, like, that world doesn't exist in. Toronto. So I was like, that's just what I like. I love entertainment, but that's never going to be my career. YouTube came around and I was like, oh, wait, people are just doing what they want to do and making videos. They're making comedy in their bedrooms or like talking about their thoughts. That's really cool. That's never existed before. So I posted my first YouTube video in 2010, thinking nothing of it. It was actually a spoken word piece about religion. Really? Yes. It's not up anymore for the reasons we discussed. But my second video was like a tutorial and I was just playing around with different things that I did my first comedy video.

And I remember falling in love being like, oh, this is cool. I get to, like, talk about things that I think are funny and that I've never seen someone else that looks like me talk about. That was a big thing. I don't think before that I ever heard another South Asian woman talking about, like, relationship drama, like having issues with the parents or anything like that. So I was filling a void that I myself felt. Obviously, I thought it would go nowhere at all because I called myself Superwoman,

because I'm a stupid, stupid, stupid business person at that age. Like, that was your YouTube name? That was my YouTube name. And I got really scared as my career progressed and I got more success. When you would Google Superwoman, I would show up before the DC character. And I was like, oh, they're going to sue you. Damn. I was like, they're going to sue me.

So I actually got my lawyer at the time to proactively reach out to them to be like, she didn't know. She's going to wean office and we came up with like a plan that I would lean off it to contractually do that. But they were very kind for not coming at me being like you owe us $100 million. That's nice. Yeah, exactly. In terms of one day I know I was successful, I was like the last person to know.

Honestly, I feel like I have a little bit of imposter syndrome here. Even when I hit a million subscribers, I was like, it's a fluke. It's a bloke. It can't be real. They did it by accident. It can't be real. The first time I really, really felt it was when I performed for the first time in India. Because, you know, I had visited India as a kid visiting my family in Punjab, and I never thought I would go there for professional reasons.

And when I went to India, you know, we know the World Wide Web is worldwide, but it's really hard to believe it until you see it. So when I was in India, I was in Bombay, and the entire audience was, like, reciting my catchphrases to me. And I was like, what? I connect with all of you across the world. That's amazing. And then some, like, Bollywood stars that I grew up adoring came to meet me and their kids were fans. And I was like this. I remember, like, throwing up in my mouth.

Being like, this is ridiculously cool. And I, that was the one moment where I remember being unable to compute what was happening because I was just so overwhelmed. Stick around. We'll be right back. Fall is in full swing and it's the perfect time to refresh your wardrobe with pieces that feel as good as they look. Luckily, Quince makes it easy to look polished, stay warm, and save big without compromising on quality. Quince has all the elevated essentials for fall. Think 100% Mongolian cashmere from $50. That's right, $50, washable silk tops and skirts, and perfectly tailored denim. at prices that feel too good to be true. I am currently eyeing their silk miniskirt. I have been dying for a silk miniskirt. I've been looking everywhere at thrift stores, just like all over town.

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Spelled try n-o-m.com slash podcrushed. Lily, in your TED Talk last year where you talk about sort of being a woman in the entertainment industry and the obstacles that you've faced, you shared many, many gems, but you said that investment means valuing potential overproof. Can you go into that a little bit more? Please, also, can I just say, I love how prepared you all are.

Except for you, you don't look like you have anything. You have a iPad. He's on TikTok, right? You know the reason I use is, yeah, that's true. I'm just on, I'm just swiping. Dude scrolling. Just so prepared. Seriously, what great?

questions, thank you. Yes, so I was talking about late night, you know, in my TED talk and talking about how I had two seasons of a late night show and it was probably the most challenging thing I've ever done in my life because I got thrown into this boys club where they're all white men and

I think the assumption that I had and everyone else had was this is going to change things. And I'm not saying it didn't, but she's going to come and now things are going to change and the culture is going to change. Can I just say for the context for our listeners, Lily is the first female late night host in 30 years

So historic Totally Yeah yeah Thank you Thank you for that you And you were given I just want to say As a person who works in the industry

Your production schedule Which you cite in your TED talk I mean I know just internally When I heard that I was like What? Whoa Yeah I mean the number of episodes

You had to complete in the In the 96 episodes of three months That's insane Yes I mean so anyway I don't want to like No add fuel to the fire please But you have being like two to three

three a day, you said. That's insane. And, you know, the magic of late night is that is timely also, right? That it can speak about what's happening to the times. But my first season of the late night show, then this is the first season, the first impression, you're already trying to iron out the kinks, trying to make it all work. My first season of my late night show, for the majority of its airing, was not addressing the pandemic.

So just to also take that in that the world went through. Which may have been a blessing. A blessing, but also not. I mean, it was a curse in terms of your production schedule. It was a curse, no, because nothing was relatable. No, it made it seem like she was talking about things that weren't relevant, all the other late night house for commenting on it.

So everyone was just like, why do you have a live audience? Why are you talking about traveling? Why are you talking about parties? Because there's a pandemic going on. Yeah, you know, the pandemic has now been so long that it's actually kind of a... Because, you know, like the latter half of the pandemic, everybody was like, I do not want to see any pandemic content.

Yeah, exactly. But this was like right when the pandemic was happening. And what I meant by that, read it one more time for me. What did I say? You said, investment means valuing potential over proof. Right. So I feel like when it comes to opportunity,

and there's science to back this up, there's stats to back this up, that white men are more likely to be hired based on their potential. You know, like, oh, I know we can crush it. Like, we've seen many people like him before, crush it before. Like, we believe in him. We don't really need much to be convinced of this.

We're going to give you a time slot. That's good. I'm going to give you a bunch of money. That's good. When you're introducing someone new or someone that's different or someone that audience is not used to when you're trying to change culture

and do something good, you start measuring people by their proof. Can you prove to me you deserve a time slot that's better? Can you prove that the audience is going to like you? Can you prove that you deserve

more writers and more of a budget? Whereas like someone else is not held to that standard. So that's what I mean by potential overproof. And that's a really hard thing to do because you're trying to change culture here. You know, you can't do that in a 130 a.m. Time slot with a fraction of the writers

and a fraction of the budget because you're trying to get an entire audience used to something else. That requires an investment of time and money. And so I really encourage anyone, any company, any studio that's trying to do that. It's not just about putting them on a poster. It's not about giving them a season or two. It's about being like, hey, this might take five to ten years. Because which show gets, I mean, Penn, you tell me, which show gets figured out in a season or two of which an unscripted late night show that has 96 episodes?

Especially late night. It's something, how can you figure out a voice? How can you figure out a flow with writers? How can you figure out any of that in that amount of time? You know, something else you said in that TED talk, you talked about sort of the premise was like, a seat at the table is not enough. We have to like build a new table. Right. And in that metaphor, you talked about if you're sitting on a wobbly seat, you can't show up to the table as your full self.

I thought that was so profound because I do think there are also situations where it's like, look, we gave this group, this population and opportunity and they're not crushing it the way that other people do. But it's like, but what is everything leading up to that moment where they are actually finally allowed? Yeah. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy because it's like, well, you need to prove that you can get a better time slot. But how am I going to prove that at a 1.30 a.m. time slot. Right. Right. And even forget the time slot because, like, yeah, it's more than that. I had like half of the writers. And I'm not trying to have this whole rant about complaining. I'm just generally trying to encourage people to think about this in a way where it's like all the resources that go into that stuff. You've got to set people up for success.

Exactly. And if you don't, you can't be shocked if they don't succeed. No, totally. The one plus one does not equal three. This is an easy math here. Okay, one other thing you said in that talk. You were talking about something where it's like, oh, it doesn't really add up, and there wasn't necessarily an obvious gatekeeper in that situation, and then you said, well, because there's actually an invisible gatekeeper called culture. Do you remember the context?

Yes. With YouTube, there's no goal. You can say objectively there's not many gatekeepers. There's no casting agent. Anyone can make YouTube videos. Of course, if you go higher up, you could say, oh, there's a CEO. Sure, sure. On YouTube, or even on moments when I'm not doing something with a gatekeeper,

I've learned that there's still a lot of obstacles women face because ultimately the massive gatekeeper is culture It's a culture of how we treat women How women are treating and how we The opportunities we think they deserve That has been a really hard pill to swallow Because yes I can give you a list of obstacles That exists in the late night show because of money

And a person that made a decision But I can give you a list of examples also Where it was just a bunch of people watching the show Being like we don't care about your perspective on this We don't care about what you have to say about this we don't want you to talk about being a woman like that was a lot of people like we don't care that you're a woman stop talking about being a woman

and it would get so in my head to the point where like I remember towards the end of the first season I would like physically on a pen and paper be like how many times did I mention being a woman like how many times did I mention being brown like I need to reduce that it would get so in my head

because people are like stop talking and the thing is no one's telling like Jimmy and Seth who I love no one's being like stop talking about being a white dude because that's so part of what they're talking about You know, they're talking about being straight naturally. It's who they are. But the second I started to be like, oh, so I went and did it with a girl, or I did this,

we like, stop it, we get it. And I'm like, oh, but I'm just trying to talk about me. So that would really mess with me because ultimately the culture is gaykeeper, the biggest gatekeeper is culture. Yeah, and the hardest one to change. Totally. That's actually what I'm most nerdy about is what you just talked about. My entire fund, Unicorn Island Fund, is about that, changing the culture of what it means to be a woman.

Because in South Asian culture and so many around the world, It's not a issue you can just throw money at. It is changing people's minds and showing them that there's actually benefit to giving women opportunity. So just while we're on the topic of the late night show, you said earlier that, like, excellence is really important to you, sort of achieving at a certain level. I don't think that it was a failure. It wasn't your failure, but did you feel like a failure when the show didn't get renewed? Like, how hard was that for you? Yeah.

So I honestly do not view that show like a failure at all. And this is not me trying to front because this is a PR talking point or anything. Like, this has actually done great things for my career and has opened a lot of doors for me. But did I, when it didn't, the truth is when it didn't get renewed, one of my friends said this to me and I was like, oh my goodness, you're absolutely right. She said, the universe is doing for you, which you will not do yourself. Because I think a lot of people saw that show killing me, like killing me. And I would have kept doing it and being tortured just because I felt a respect. Because it was so historic.

I would have probably done it for 20 years if they let me and just tortured myself for 20 years. And the universe was like, no, you're going to go on to do other things. We're not going to let this happen and didn't get renewed. I don't feel like a failure. I will tell you that one of the hardest feelings during the late night show, and maybe you guys can relate to this, is someone who does like excellence. It's really hard to be in late night because late night is not about excellence. Late night is about getting it done. That was said to me very often.

It is about quantity, not quality. We have a deadline to meet today. We have to get the show. So more often than not, I would be walking to my mark, going over the monologue. And I remember saying this to my head of development at the time saying, this is not funny. I don't like what I'm about to go say. And I don't think it's good. As you're walking over it today.

But I am now going to go deliver it as if I think it's amazing. That's very tough as an artist. And I'm not saying this because my writers were bad. It's just they were overworked to death. They were overworked to death. They had the same number of episodes to accomplish, but there was so little of them, and they were so overworked,

and so no one was really set up for success. Yeah. That was a hard pill to swallow. As a performer, I'm sure you can imagine. Yeah, I mean, well, television as an infrastructure is just, I mean, I don't want to bore our listeners with, like, a bunch of, I don't know, like business talk, but it is, it is hard. Because, you know, when you have that number of episodes,

what you're working with is giant amounts, of money even for the lowest budget show. You're working with tens of millions of dollars, you know, at some point. Like, if you've got a lot of episodes. Let me ask you a question. You know about the entertainment industry. You know a little something, something, right? He just got so nervous.

96 episodes. Just, just curiosity. 96 episodes in season one, what do you think the budget was? That's a good question. Yeah, just guess. And I think I know, I don't even know facts. I'm pretty sure I know what it was, but you know the internet has 96 episodes. What do you think the budget is?

Think of a reasonable budget. Yeah. No, no, of course. Including me as well. Yeah, is it, is it, uh, was it less than 10 million? Mm-hmm. Okay. Will you tell us?

For the whole season? For the whole season. Lily, that's crazy. So, was it less than five? No, no, no, no. That's impossible. Okay. No, I know.

So I'm just, I'm just, it was a little less than 10. The reason that I wanted to walk people through that. But that's crazy. But hold on. The reason I wanted to walk people through that is because to the average listener, hearing the number of $10 million, being like, oh, you couldn't make a show for $10 million. It's like, no, no, no, the amount of work that is required for the number of people actually that's, like, so little.

That is regulated by union also, so there's no cutting corners. And so this is why I was trying to be like, this is a hard thing to answer quickly to me. Well, in comparison, it's like no other late night shows getting made for less than $10 million. Right. Not even close to it. Not even remotely close to that. Right? So you have to compare it to that because I agree.

$10 million sounds like so much money, but you look at 100 people every day for that many months. But $10 doesn't sound like anything to me for $90. six episodes because the budget... But that's because you've been... Yeah, yeah, yeah, but... I know, but still, the budget for most... So you might be just being like, what a douchebag! Hopefully you hear my context.

If not, then tell me to go off, and I'll be fine with that, too. We're cutting all this. We might cut this section. Okay, okay. But... No, that's crazy. So you use your platform to advocate for social justice issues.

Yeah. I love it. Some people think that comedians should not be weighing in politics. You should not be trying to teach people lessons. How do you respond to that? I think that's dumb. I think that if, here's what I'll tell you. I do not think people should insert their two cents into conversations without doing a little bit of research to them.

I do agree with that. I do think we live in this world where everyone is entitled to their opinion, sure. But I do think that opinions are, they're not facts. And there seems to be massive confusion between facts and opinions. And we'll go back to the late night show for this because I used to get a lot of criticism from people that have no idea what it's like to shoot a late night show, sitting in their mom's basin being like, why isn't your show like this? Why doesn't it do this? And I'm like, well, there's actually 10 logical

reasons. It's not like that because there's a union, because there's laws, because there's rules, because we have to make the episode this exact amount. There's so many reasons. If Jimmy Fallon were to call me and give me critique, I'd be like, let me get my pen and paper, let me listen to everything you have to say, because you actually know what you're talking about.

So I think that I would agree that people are just saying things for the sake of being, like, sensational and trying to be part of our conversation, but they're not actually adding a point of viewer knowledge, I do agree that we don't need more noise in the world. But like, for example, me as a comedian talking about women's issues and talking about gender equality, I can back that the F up with any bit of knowledge and I feel completely comfortable doing that. And if someone has a problem with that, I don't care.

Yeah, I love that. It's like the equivalent of like we're sitting at home watching a basketball game, you're like, you idiot! You couldn't get that three-point or you're so dumb. I know. As a person who's just getting into like sports that are popular, here. I've been getting into basketball last couple seasons so I watch with my steps on as friends and some other. And I do think it's kind of amazing how entitled fans feel

to being like, oh, come on, get to it. It's like... You could never do that. Not in a million years. Can anybody sitting in those seats? Yes. And I just think it's like, it's kind of amazing how the fans talk about the players like they own them in a way. It's like it's just a bit foreign to me.

So again, I know this can be a little controversial about the, like, but everyone should have a voice. I agree. But not everyone's opinion has to hold weight in every subject, in my opinion. Or where would we go? Where would we be? If we listened to everything about everyone. Yeah. We'd be in it...

We'd be here. I don't know. I'd say it's a hot take, but... We'd be in a world where people, like, don't take vaccines because it's a liberty says it causes autism. Like, someone who doesn't know anything about vaccine effects. Right. I just feel like you gotta... Your opinion, you need to... If you want to have an opinion for the law of God, like, know something about it.

You know something about what you're talking about. Add something of value, you know? There's so much media saturation. And we have like celebrity saturation. Culture is becoming more and more online. So therefore it's a space where like the only way that the every person can interact is in this way. So I'm thinking about how entitled they should be to being there as well. Because again, like you think about the pandemic, how online culture was, it's like, well, so people with platforms are just given influence in the culture and then people who don't don't.

And then, you know, if something goes viral, so that's the equalizer, whatever. But you know what I'm saying? So it's like, it is this really weird and like tough and nuanced soupy mess where like I get, I get, I've tried to boil it down to the spiritual impulse that everybody's having when they want to talk out the side of their neck and comment. But, you know. Can I tell you what my spiritual take on this is? Sure. You know, with my very healthy work life balance of meditating every morning for 20 minutes. So I have had to come to terms with a lot of the comments and stuff.

Like, that has been one of the hardest parts of my career is, like, the constant feedback on every single thing I do. It is people who have never met me telling me who I am. Like, that's a very hard pill to swallow because people will tell you with such certainty who you are, even though they've never met you. I say something during my meditation, which is I am everyone and everyone is me and we are in different circumstances. Like, I do really believe that. I really do believe that a person can hate me but I am exactly like them and they are exactly like me

and we have different buttons and we have different circumstances and that's why we're having this interaction so it actually has nothing to do with the other person like I know that like everyone's just showing their trauma and everyone's just saying things

because they're having an experience and I think honestly what it is if we want to get really like deep it's that there's just this the world is going through a hard time or people are just also not as happy people are struggling times are really hard

and so I also understand that when people write comments to me like yeah they may not like me sure sure but it's also coming from a place of like just general frustration with life and you know so I always remind myself that people are just showing their trauma yeah and I know that because when I get really heated about like gender stuff I'm like I am showing my trauma

I'm doing the exact same thing that's what I thought when I saw the TED talk I thought she's just letting her trauma she's just frigging just I was about to comment yeah I was about to comment yeah I was just like oh another woman with a platform

Can I just tell you all, so you're on the TED Talk? You know, a lot of people don't know this, but I have to just emphasize. So I don't know if you know this, but everyone who's ever done a TED Talk, not, I don't think this is the case of TEDx, but a TED Talk, you know, it's completely memorized. There's no prompter. Wow. Every stat is memorized. Every, everything is memorized.

So me being, you know, striving for excellence, I was like, not only will my tech talk be 19 minutes, but I'm going to have props. I'm going to do the clicker myself. And no one knows this because it's not in the actual. edit because they edit out mistakes, but I did make a mistake. I forgot an entire slide, and this is how I handled it. Are you ready? I looked at the slide, and I was like, I completely forgot that, so I'm going to rewind,

and then I physically rewind, rewound myself. I went on the TED Talk stage. How did it fly? Do they like? I like, that's how I'm handling this. This very professional stage, that is how I'm choosing. That's like a Robin Williams moment. He has like a famous, if you were, he actually did this.

I mean, you know, his like brilliant zinger mind, there's a, There's some, I've seen him rewind himself. So you and love William's show. Oh my goodness. Although he made a joke about, you know, commenting, I was in the room when he was watching your TED Talk and he kept saying, oh, oh, Lily. Like, he was like really having a reaction to it.

But to be clear, not in like a, not that what you were doing was this, but like I don't want it to be misconstrued as condescending. I was like, I was moved and I was laughing. And I think it won't put away. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. But he also seemed upset at some of the injustices you were like, he was like,

yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it was powerful stuff. Are we going to be friends? I mean, we're right here and having a friendship. Thank you so much. It's happening. Because, you know, I'll just, and I won't go on a tangent on this because I know I can be a nerd about this.

But, like, that's the recipe right there. That's the key. It's men also caring. And, like, they're very much so part of the recipe when it comes to generate equality. Yeah. And men would benefit greatly from it as well. There are so many men who do understand that. Like so many.

Totally, yeah. You know, and I hope that. Like, we do have a surprisingly predominantly female listenership. Yes. As well as a guest roster. No, it's not anymore, right? It's 80%. Oh, wow.

Yeah, we've got a 20%. Shout out to the 20% out there. 20% out there. That's what's what's up. I love that. But I also, but speaking to the 80% who sometimes, like, might understandably believe that men are trash. Or the 20% self-hating think that men are trash, understandably sometimes.

There are so many men out there who do understand this. And we, and, you know, I feel like sometimes it's, we need to speak to each other where we're encouraging each other and really believing in each other and not, you know, yeah. I was going to say, because there are so many men, and as I've done this work, there's so many men that are so about the cause and so awesome. Yourself included, I can already tell. But, like, if I could encourage any of those 20%, like if you haven't made that loud yet, make that loud. Because the people that are not like that are very loud. We are asking more men to speak up you heard in your own pod crush. Boom!

Get your voices out there, man. Gender equality, baby. That's a goal. Let's go! I do want to say it's true because I think more men do feel that way but I used to work at the UN and my primary research area

was the advancement of gender equality and like the dynamics of community where it's advancing. Okay, way to show me up, you're like, yeah, what you think is really cute? Basically she's like super cute. I work with the UN, the United Nations. So simmer down over there.

So I would go to all of these gender equality events and there was net, it was, I don't think there were ever more than three men in the room and that could have been a room of 100 or a room of 20 And it was usually, anyway, I mean, it was like people that I knew. It's like the men didn't show up. Like, they just didn't think that the space was for them, whether or not they believed in equality. So now, and they need to show up.

Let me invite everyone telling you the space is for you. And here's your invitation. Would have been cooler, fight and stutter, but whatever. Do it again. Okay, fine. So let this be my invitation to all men listening. You are invited to fight for this cause. Welcome.

welcome to Lily's prop table before we wrap what projects are you currently working on what are you excited about it's an exciting time a lot of cool things have happened recently the Muppets mayhem premiered on Disney Plus it is cool not only because it's the Muppets but actually is my first lead in anything

I'm a lead human I'm a lead human I play Nora who's the music execra who's the music exec trying to help the electric mayhem create their first album and it was the most fun best thing I've ever done in my life especially we just talked about you know coming from late night which was quantity over quality

this was so quality like no corners were cut at all they reshot some scenes and you know this they reshot some scenes three days three times on three separate days because we want to get this right it was amazing

it was one the coolest things otherwise I'm a judge on Canada's got talent which is cool apparently I get to tell people if they're talented or not it's so much fun apparently your opinion is not trash maybe I have it what it takes to back it up

and then you know my unicorn in production stuff I have a gang of my own productions I'm working on and then I have the fund associated with that can I tell one more quick story I'm going to actually connect to something we were talking about you would ask me if I still want to make my parents proud and if I've outgrown that

or if that's a thing a funny story so I am working on a movie that I'm going to shoot this summer it is an India is independently financed it is the log line is a 30-year-old virgin finds herself teaching sex ed in high school. Okay, so I'm playing this character.

I'm also one of the writers on the movie. So I was working on the script the other day, and it's like raunchy. Like, we're going full R-rated raunchy here. I think it's important for me to be a South Asian leading to get raunchy. Like, we want to go there, right? So I'm writing this movie is super raunchy. And in the 11th hour, I just stopped. And I was like, oh my goodness.

And I FaceTime my mom. And I was like, Mom, I recognize I'm 34 years old. but I want to ask am I allowed to do this movie that I've written and that I will act in and then we had a whole conversation she's like

well what's in the movie and then I had to awkwardly tell her I was like there's a vibrator scene I just need to know that I need to tell you you need to understand that prior to this moment

me and my mom have never ever discussed anything remotely sexual I've never seen my parents kiss this is what I'm talking about nothing so this is a very uncomfortable situation and then she returned it the question and said, have you ever used a vibra?

I'm like, what is happening? What is happening? I hate this conversation. But we went through the whole movie. And then she ended the conversation saying, I can't believe we just had this conversation for the first time. And I was like, that's why this movie's important. That is literally why this movie's important.

So, yes, I still try to make my parents proud, but my parents rise to the occasion. That's on the projects I'm working on that I'm really excited about. Very cool. If you could go back to 12-year-old, Lily, what would you say? What would you do? Okay This is going to get real deep for a second

But keep it light Going back to my morning meditation I just implemented this a week ago It is I have a section of my meditation Where I talk to my younger self actually So I do this podcast in my meditation basically And I do that because I realize there's a lot of Like most of us unresolved things

That our younger selves feel Something I would go back and tell my 12 year old self is A lot of things in your life maybe make you feel insecure or unsafe or like you need to prove yourself and I realized in my adult life that I was the person that made myself prove myself to myself.

I was the last person to be able to actually say you're fine the way you are I'm going to let you be the way you are. It really took a long time I always had to prove myself because I was striving for excellence and so even at a point where everyone else stopped doing that I was in the habit of doing that

and so I would go back and tell myself like hey you don't have to prove yourself as much to yourself. Like, you don't need to do that. You are safe. You don't need to be insecure for those. You're like, you are allowed to just be. Not everything has to be something

where you got to be perfect and you got to prove you to belong. Like, sometimes you can just be. And the quote that I used to like cap end that as an adult is the evolution from becoming to being. Like, I've given myself permission to be and not be in a constant state of trying to become. So I would go back to my younger self

and plant that seed. Was that too deep? No, no. No, not at all. That's perfect. I love that. You can go deep as long as it's a sound bite. Okay, good, good, good. Good, good. Perfect. Make sure you listen to more deep, amazing thoughts like that one on Podcrushed. Oh, I thought you were going to plug your podcast.

No, no. It's amazing. In her meditation. You can not plug my podcast on your podcast? What kind of human being do you think I am? I come up and here, I'm like, hey, stop listening to this, but instead, go listen to my better podcast. where I have a brighter pink blazer. Here's where it makes sense, because this is the end.

We need to isolate that sound and use that to promote our podcast. Yeah, that's amazing. This podcast is the best and amazing. And you three have the best questions ever, and you're so prepared, and I freaking appreciate that. Because, you know, I do a lot of press and sometimes there's a lot of, like, surface level questions. It's really nice to have a deep conversation.

So I appreciate that. Thank you, Lily. Thank you. Thank you for coming here. You can follow Lily sing on Instagram at Lily with two L's, or you can keep up with her YouTube channel at Lily Singh. We did the podcast.

Now we get to do some TikTok. Yeah, baby. Let's do it. Stitcher.