Podcrushed - Matthew McConaughey

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Who is the most charming man alive?” and come up with Matthew McConaughey, you are correct. This week, the hosts bask in the light of Matthew’s infectious spirit as he regales them with stories from his adolescence in Texas, important lessons on love and patience, why a little bullshitting is vital, and shares the inspiration behind his new children’s book, Just Because. Follow Podcrushed on socials:TikTokInstagramXSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada It says Matthew is a storyteller, a treehouse builder, and a pickle expert. What are the top three attributes of a great pickle? I just really want to know. Great pickle? Firmly, cold. I like him. We got to be cold.

No one likes a warm pickle. And I'm a mini, I'm a mini-coaching. I like, I want to hear that sound like a almost not as stiff as a carrot, but close. Welcome. to Pod Crushed. We're hosts. I'm Penn. I'm Nava.

And I'm Sophie. And I think we could have been your middle school besties. Practicing our best. All right, all right, all right. Welcome to Pod Crushed. My name is Penn. I'm with my co-hosts.

Sophie and Nava. We had Matthew McConaughey on today. Woo! All right, all right, all right. That man shines and like radiates. What is that? I couldn't stop thinking about what it would have been like in person

partially because Sophie and David pranked me and told me he was coming in person, but I couldn't stop thinking about what it would have been like in person because the energy coming off of Matthew on Zoom I was like blown away. I could like barely handle his energy in the best way. This man

did not know who I was. Had no idea who I was. That did not matter. By the end of the interview he was digging in. He was digging in like he gave us his all. And about the end, I'm just talking about it. I'm just like, yeah, man. I'm a bullshit or too, Matthew.

It's infectious. What in the hell? It made me want to move to the south. I've never wanted to. I can't remember when I lived in Virginia. I lived in Virginia for seven years. No recollections. Yeah.

I told you guys there's something great about Texas. I told you. It's Matthew Connay. Yeah. What? No, it was amazing when we. We told Nav when David and I pranked her and told her that he was coming in person. Successfully?

Like, how long did that last? Just like maybe 30 seconds. I thought. Okay. I believed it. I completely believed it. The reason it only lasted a few seconds was because she was so confident. She was like, oh, well, this kind of sucks.

Like, this isn't a good prank. She just read green lights as why? Yeah. I thought she would be nervous, but she was like, oh my God, I love him. This is amazing. Okay, let's think about a TikTok. I was like, oh, I'm not planning a TikTok, so I have to tell her it's a prank. No, it's great.

I like the prank ended so you didn't look bad. You're like, oh, nope, sorry, no, no TikTok because. Not doing extra work. Okay, I have to say that there's an episode that's out, Roblo, and I've never gotten more DMs and text messages from people who know me really well to be like, you were so smitten the whole time, la, la, la, really funny. So this interview is like, do not be smitten in front of Matt. You need to be cool. Like, you can't be thirsty. trying to twill your hair.

I could not stop smiling. Yeah. But I couldn't stop smiling the whole interview. I was just like my face hurt. I don't know if it was smitten with like romance. No. Romance. I don't know.

I mean maybe it's maybe it goes maybe. No, we're keeping this because because you can't handle it. We're definitely keeping it. Please watch the video version. No, I don't know that I've never seen Naviturn Reds. Please watch the video version of this fanter. Just. What's happening?

We're off the rails. For the first time ever, I feel like we're legitimately off the rails. And for that reason, I'm just, we are keeping this. I don't care how long it goes. I don't care how long it goes. I was smitten with him as a human. That's what I was going to say. I think I was just smitten with him as a person.

Yeah. Well, good luck convincing anyone of that. No, that's, no, come on. I mean, no, that is probably the most. Look, we all have different qualities. he's the most charming human I can recall meeting. Yeah. Who knows what that is.

It's true. Anyway, I hope you guys stick around and love it as much as we did. And actually, as I say in the beginning of the interview, because of the strike, we just talk about life. And some of his book, a little bit, but really just about life. So it was nice. Does anyone else ever get that? nagging feeling that their dog might be bored and do you also feel like super guilty about it well one way that I combat that feeling is I'm making meal time everything it can be for my little boy

louis nom nom does this with food that actually engages your pup senses with a mix of tantalizing smells textures and ingredients nom nom nom offers six recipes bursting with premium proteins vibrant veggies and tempting textures designed to add excitement to your dog's day pork potluck chicken cuisine turkey fair beef mash lamb pilaf and turkey and chicken cookout i mean are you kidding me i want to eat these recipes each recipe is cooked gently in small batches to seal in vital nutrients and maximize digestibility and their recipes are crafted by vet nutritionists so i feel good knowing its design with louis health and happiness in mind serve nom nom nom as a complete and balanced meal or is a tasty and healthy addition to your dog's current diet. My dogs are like my children, literally, which is why I'm committed to giving them

only the best. Hold on. Let me start again because I've only been talking about Louie. Louis is my bait. Louis, you might have heard him growl just now. Louis is my little baby and I'm committed to only giving him the best. I love that Nom Nom Nom's recipes contain wholesome nutrient rich food, meat that looks like meat and veggies that look like veggies because shocker, they are. Louis, has been going absolutely nuts for the lamb pilaf. I have to confess that he's never had anything like it and he cannot get enough. So he's a lamb-peelaf guy. Keep mealtime exciting with NomNum available at your local pet smart store or at Chewy. Learn more at trynom.com slash podcrushed, spelled try n-o-m.com slash podcrushed. Why do we do what we do? What makes life meaningful? My name is

Elise Lunan, and I'm the author of Honor Best Behavior and the host of the podcast, Pulling the Thread. I'm pulling the thread. I explore life's big questions with thought leaders who help us better understand ourselves, others, and the world around us. I hope these conversations bring you moments of resonance, hope, and growth. Listen to pulling the thread from Lemonada Media wherever you get your podcasts. Let's just start at 12. Let's start at home and then go out from there. Your your life at home at 12. Life at home at 12. So my hero, my brother Pat, 81, 88, 7, he's 19. He's just moved out of the house. I'm now the only child. My oldest brother Rooster has been out of the house. So my hero just moved out of the house. My dad was working a lot. I mean, my mom was doing most of the raising of me. It was clear what was expected. I mean, I just now took over all the yard duty. the wheat eating and the mowing along because Pat was gone. But, and we had just moved to Longview, Texas,

which was a huge city to me coming from Evaldi. It was 75,000 people. And we lived off in the country. I remember the days in the summer, as I wrote about in the book, were filled with daylight to sundown outside. My mom was big on. You couldn't watch. We weren't allow much television.

My mom's one liner was always. don't watch somebody do what you want to be doing. Get out there and go find out and do it yourself. So the days, they're sort of a rule in our house. It was daylight you had to be out. At 12, I was well on my way. I was in second place behind a guy named Kelly Hernsberger for best, from best attendance since kindergarten.

Wow. All right. Now, fast forward a minute, we got to the senior year, 18 years old. I had missed seven days since kindergarten. What? Kelly Harnsburger missed four. So this was something every year. You were perpetually in second place to this guy.

Wait, Matthew, I have to know what would cause you to miss a day because it seems like it would take a lot. Yeah. Well, for me, look, you didn't want to miss a day in my house. Because if you could breathe, it meant you had to go do some manual labor. You had to go do chores. You didn't get to hang in bed. I will say this.

I remember, it was a little after 12, but I got the wisdom teeth pulled, I believe, and I did get to stay at home. And for some reason, I was allowed to have TCBY yogurt, which was a really special thing. Oh, yeah. I had yogurt, I had me. I was on whatever the painkillers were for the tonsils. And we had just gotten cable television coming, we had always been a three-channel family. And when you could watch TV, it was a big deal in the house. I remember finding WGN, the Chicago station.

And the Chicago Cubs day game came on in Wrigley Field. And it was a 16-inning two-to-one pitchers tool. And I got to sit there and eat by yogurt. I remember it lasts like five and a half hours. And that's when I kind of fell in love with baseball. I was like, this game's great. Because it was just me, my yogurt, and a game on a day off from school, and I had the house. And your mess.

And whatever meds, I was on for the time. It's great. Um, so that's what was like at home, um, you know, at school, what 12, is that sixth grade? Six or seventh? Yeah, six seventh. Yeah, six. So seventh, I mean, you know, sixth is big because you're coming to you, the youngster of the six, seventh, eighth graders. Um, I did like a girl in the eighth grade who had been dating a guy who was in the eighth grade.

that they were the thing, but when they broke up, I did swoop in there. And I remember that led to that that guy and some of his friends working on me, picking on me on the bus ride home. But I also, because I stood up to it, I remember getting their respect because they were like, who's this kid thinking he is in sixth grade? You know, da, da, da, da, da, da. And the girl ended up saying, yes, when I should go with me. And I remember we kind of hung out.

So I kind of, it showed him up, but yet he still kind of was like, okay, well, he did it. But I remember, I remember this. It was a bus ride home. And him and his buddies have been picking on me, you know, hard, wadded up paper, bam on the back of the head on the bus and stuff like this. And there was a bunch of them. And it wasn't about going and getting in a fight or anything. He was just about putting up with it. I told my older brother who had come home from college.

and the next day we're driving the bus and all of a sudden the bus driver pulled over on the side of the highway and I look out it was my brother he had pulled a Z28 and pulled the

got out of the car got on the bus came back there said Matthew which ones is it which ones are they and I pointed out Scott my brother told him

he said do you mess with my little brother anymore I'm messing with you then he went to the bus driver I remember he said this and he must have got this from my dad

he goes if you can't handle your boss. I'm going to handle you. Oh my gosh. Never picked Tommy again. It was done. I was in. We were good. No more, no more wadded up paper balls at the back of the head. For you to swoop in like that though, I mean, were you, because the thing about this age is that kids, I have a 14 year old right now, and I have a three year old, by the way. Kids at that age can be so different. Some of them can look like men, some of them are boys, you know? Like, were you, I mean, for you to even do that, you must have been

a little tall, you must have been, I mean, what was going on? No, I mean, look, physically, I was a late bloomer. Huh. Okay. I mean, can we say the word peach fuzz on this? Yeah. Ooh, that's crossing the line. Remember that one? I was the last one with that. Yeah, okay, okay.

And, I mean, I wasn't, you know, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my end scene was always shorter than my waistline. So I wasn't long-legged. I wasn't fast. I wasn't that tall. I remember I did have one pair of Vel, I think Velcro capes had just come out, which gave me a little bit of confidence. So I had a clean pair of capas shoes that Velcroed over had my two pair of JCPenney Plain pockets. You couldn't have one two pair. And you didn't get your, I remember Mom said that she, we will not, well, not wash your jeans until they can stand up in the corner on their own.

It's so good. So you wore the jeans quite a bit. I remember I think the old roll them up at the bottom fold over, taper roll up and the ankle was in. That was cool, which actually made my legs look shorter, but it was still cool. It felt cool, so physically I wasn't. I was behind, but I mean, I was. So, yeah, what was going on inside then? Because that's, is it, would you call it confidence or would you, what would you call that?

maybe I had confidence from having an older older brotherhood, you know, and taught me a dad who had taught me, you know, how to respectfully ask a girl to, if you like him, to go out with you what. Now, I couldn't do the same things at the eighth grade girl that I was taking to do. But then I also had mom on the other side, which gave us me and my two brothers a lot of confidence. I've always going like, she always reminded us this. And I think we'll hopefully talk about it later if we get around the heartbreak. But she was always, my mom, to this day, has always been a big proponent of, hey, you remember you're, you're a catch.

You're a catch. You respect yourself and you respect your own body and you, you're the catch. Now, that doesn't hold up as well when you're sitting there asking, you're sweating and you're asking the girl to go with you. But maybe that did give me the confidence to do it in person instead of having a friend to ask. writing the note. Right. Right. You know, athletically, I'd just come out. I was just realizing that I wasn't big and I wasn't fast. Earlier in life, I was not fast. I was big. I was strong. I always had a big butt and big legs. So I had a really strong legs and butt. And none of the kids could tackle me in football in the backyard. I could just, they'd be hanging all off me. And I was like,

oh, that's what I'll do. I'll go play football. because I'll be the big guy that can't go down. Well, all of a sudden about 12, all the young kids started getting bigger than me and faster. And I remember playing linebacker in the seventh grade. And it's Marshall, who was at Longview, it was a Marshall. And I was playing linebacker, the offensive line on Marshalls just completely split our defensive line, handed off to the running back, who was a twin. 5 foot 10 and a half,

175 pounds. And he is a twin brother and they both had beards. I remember seeing this bearded athlete come at me and I'm whatever, five foot, 4, 1, 135, and I'm big eyes.

And I remember seeing this beard. Well, I still got peach fuzz in other places where they're supposed to grow in earlier, right? I'm not even thinking beard. You know what I mean? I got blondes there, you know, on my legs and everywhere else. And I remember he came and ran up and I was like, I'm not sidestepping him and I hit him straight.

And all of a sudden, next thing I remember is I came to and my teammates were picking me up, slapped me on the back. I had hit him straight up and I had both of his shoes. He'd gotten out of my shoes, but I was 10 yards. He'd take me 10 yards down the field, but I had his shoes. But I slowed him down long enough for Corey, our big, cornerback to tackle him 15 yards down the field. And it was a big, it was kind of

a big ride of passage. I kind of blacked out for a minute, but I did hit him straight up. I remember that. You mentioned being in sixth grade and being confident enough to ask out the girl who was in eighth grade, which seems like it says a lot

about you in terms of how you felt around girls or how you felt around crushes. Liking older girl. Well, just that, that That's what a confidence we're talking about. And I wonder if you could tell it.

We ask everybody on our podcast to tell us about their first love and first heartbreak. And maybe that's in middle school. Maybe it happened later for you. But could you tell us? No, there's middle school. You know, and this opens up that question. Then I'm starting to go through, I think I'm on the cusp of it with my children. I've got 15, 13, and 10.

So definitely with the 15 and 13 is starting to happen. Yeah. You probably know it, Penn, with 14. But this idea of love, that's a big word in my family. You didn't throw that word around. To feel it and say it was a very, very big deal to me. And I did. I had a girlfriend.

And this, I'm going to tell you the story of the first love and the heartbreak. And they're going to have a common denominator of the breakup. And they broke up with me. I went away on a, like a field trip with a class to Madrid. And while you have an allowance, right? And what do you do with that allowance? You spend it all on something for your girlfriend that you love, right? You don't forget everything else.

They forget all the other people. They don't need a gift when I get back. But I got her this necklace. And then I got her this like crystal trinket. And then I got like something else. And I came back and I unloaded these gifts on her. It was too much. It scared.

And she broke up with me right after I had given all these gifts. And but you know what it is. We've all felt it on the giving and on the receiving side. It's like for whatever reason it was, it was too much. The gifts, it was too many gifts. And she broke up. And I remember we crying and having sleepless nights. really having trouble getting out of bed in the morning.

And I remember my mom coming back to my bed and tell me, look, I feel for you as positive as my mom always was. She could always tell with those kids when we were really hurting and come back and sit with us and go, let's sit here in the pain for me. I know this sucks. I know this hurts. And to hear that and then eventually get to, now remember, you're a catch, she's going to notice what she lost and then start building the confidence. But mom's always good about sitting. Let's sit in the pain right now. your first heartbreak.

That was the first one. The second one was later in middle school in the eighth grade. I met someone, and it was going. It was going. And she said to me, wrote me a note, and it said, I love it. And I was just, whoa, the feelings all the way to my fingertips out of my heart. I was, oh, my gosh.

And two weeks later, Oh, no. I said it to her, and the next day, she broke up. Do you think it had to do with you sharing your feelings or coming on maybe what was too strong for her? What was it? Well, it was that, but, you know, I mean, again, we're going to try and break down the science and math of love,

which we know is a foolish idea thing to do anyway, because if anything, love's not really dignified. I mean it doesn't mean it's not fair but the too many gifts were I guess it was it intimidated her or maybe there's that thing that we do young word oh now I know I got you bye bye you know I felt that before on my side where I felt somebody give it I was like oh well now you just fully committed to me okay had you felt that but you probably felt that after these incidents right yes so so these two right and the I love you you she even though she said it first soon as i said it two weeks later she broke up and i remember that being a major heartbreak and made me very confused about well the what's the love thing what's the i love you mean yeah you know because she opened up to me and said it first and now i came back reciprocated and we were supposed to meet in the middle and go higher and become more full

and now she went up and so for her you know now i'm older i look back and I go, that's probably how she was feeling. She was beautiful and pretty and a fluid. And I was the only guy in town, you know, that she could date. And I think getting that, I don't know. I didn't study her history. Did she have a track record of getting guys in as soon as you got him to say that word? But that was what it felt like, that that was the hinge that was like, okay, check.

I felt like it was a check for her. Got him to say, I love you. Okay. Later, move on. Did it make you more gun shy? for, like, future relationships? Probably. Probably.

You know, and I've still, to this day, you know, one of my favorite scenes, if y'all ever see it, and you ever see the film Adaptation? Yes. It's one of my favorite movies, yeah. You know the scene where Nicholas Cage, his brother's talking to his brother,

he plays both the characters, and they're sitting, the Chris Cooper characters and Merrill Schuper coming through the swamp, and he goes, you got to tell me about that girl, Karen, man, they think they're about to die. He goes, you got to tell me.

tell me about that girl, Karen. Remember, she said, you want to go to prom with me? And, and you said, yeah. And then all her friends were there laughing because it was a joke. She never, she never wanted to go with you. She just wanted to dupe you. He's like, how did you get over that too quick? And he goes, well, I loved her. He's like, I know what that she duped you. He goes, no, my love didn't depend on her loving me back. I unconditionally loved her, go for it. And it's a beautiful little see of love. Now, not one that in our youth, I think we can dare really understand, we can intellectualize it, but damn, she don't feel like that.

Here didn't feel like that to me then. It felt unfair. It felt I was scared of love. I was scared of the word. I was much more trepidation to use that word. And I backed off and looked at the people in my life that were my family and one friend that I could say I love you. And I knew it was reciprocated, no matter what.

so i was very wary about when to ever when to next say that word or share that definitely yeah i mean what we've found so in the first season of this show we actually had a lot of uh uh listeners submit stories and what we got what we found is that things like this can stick with people maybe their whole lives and i feel like you certainly can appreciate that you seem to tap into the last uh you know what I don't know, decade or so tapping into this idea that people are really in need of encouragement. You know what I mean?

And I'm just wondering if, because you have represented a certain kind of icon of masculinity, there's no doubt about it. I mean, I'm not making any estimations of how you feel on the inside. But that's really significant, and that's really interesting to me and I think other people. Like, what was the journey of, like, young Matthew McConaughey, a young, young, like, boy becoming a man, you know?

Like, what, like, I don't know how long or short you can make that art. Let me tell you, want me, go back just before middle school to say something that was really written in my lineage, whether I chased it or not, which I didn't, right? But I understood it. My dad was a big, yes, sir, yes, man, please, and thank you. Sir's a man guy. And you had to do it, look someone in the eye. And I remember one day meeting some more of his friends who were much taller than me

and looking up and shaking their hand and going, nice to meet you, sir, nice meet you, sir. And the one thing that connected in my mind that day was the parking lot of Oak Forest Country Flood. It was hot. The sun was high. They had shades on. And I didn't. My eyes squinted as I looked at him. I remember going, oh, you know what the one common denominator of everybody that my dad has had me say, sir, too, is they're all fathers.

And manhood meant being called a sir. And the one thing about being a man was, oh, they're all fathers. That's the one thing they all are. So from that day, I was like, oh, you become a father. You become a man. That's it. That's the ultimate cool. That's the ultimate respect.

That's when you become a sir. That's when you go from prince to king. Now, obviously, whatever, I'm 10, 11, 12 years old, I'm not chasing trying to be a father right away. but it was always, it got pressure tested by life throughout in flings I had, in times where I thought I'd be single the rest of my life, in times where I thought I was going to become a monk or whatever. It was always right there going, no, that's a diamond. That's a diamond.

That's timeless truth right there for you, Matthew. And it never wavered. And so that's what I was always looking forward to. basing if one day I can become a thawm. Stick around. We'll be right back. All right. So let's just, let's just real talk, as they say for a second. That's a little bit of an aged thing to say now. That dates me, doesn't it? But no, real talk. How important is your health to you? You know, on like a one to ten? And I don't mean the, in the sense of vanity, I mean

in the sense of like, you want your day to go well, right? You want to be less stressed you don't want it as sick when you have responsibilities um i know myself i'm a householder i have i have two children and two more on the way um a spouse a pet you know a job that sometimes has its demands so i really want to feel like when i'm not getting to sleep and i'm not getting nutrition when my eating's down i want to know that i'm that i'm being held down some other way physically you know my family holds me down emotionally spiritually but i need something to hold me down physically right And so honestly, I turned to symbiotica, these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious. And I'm telling you, even before I started doing ads for these guys, it was a product that I really, really liked and enjoyed and could see the differences with.

The three that I use, I use the, what is it called, liposomal vitamin C, and it tastes delicious, like really, really good. comes out in the packet you put it right in your mouth some people don't do that I do it I think it tastes great I use the liposomal glutathione as well in the morning really good for gut health and although I don't need it

you know anti-aging and then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8 which is really good for I think mood and stress I sometimes use it in the morning sometimes use it at night all three of these things taste incredible honestly you don't even need to mix it with water and yeah I just couldn't recommend them highly enough. If you want to try them out, go to symbiotica.com

slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. That's symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. As the seasons change, it's the perfect time to learn something new. Whether you're getting back into a routine after summer or looking for a new challenge before the year ends, Rosetta Stone makes it easy to turn a few minutes a day into real language progress. Rosetta Stone is the trusted leader in language learning for over 30 years. Their immersive, intuitive method helps you naturally absorb and retain your new language on desktop or mobile whenever and wherever it fits your schedule. Rosetta Stone immerses you in your new language naturally, helping you think and communicate with confidence. There are no English translation so you truly

learn to speak, listen, and think in your chosen language. The other day I was actually at the grocery store and I asked one of the people working there if they could help me find a specific item and she was like sorry I actually don't speak English she only spoke Spanish and I was like if only I my Spanish was good enough to be able to have this conversation in Spanish we would be sorted and that's where Rosetta Stone comes in I really need to get back on my Rosetta Stone grind with 30 years of experience millions of users and 25 languages to choose from including Spanish, French, German, Japanese, and more. Rosetta Stone is the go-to tool for real language growth.

A lifetime membership gives you access to all 25 languages so you can learn as many as you want whenever you want. Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential now. Podcrush listeners can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit rosettastone.com slash podcrush to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don't miss out. Go to rosettastone.com slash podcrush and start

learning today. The first few weeks of school are in the books and now's the time to keep that momentum going. I-XL helps kids stay confident and ahead of the curve. I-XL is an award-winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning. Whether they're brushing up on math or diving into social studies, it covers math, language arts, science, and social studies from pre-K through 12th grade. With content that's engaging, personalized, and yes, actually fun. It's the perfect tool to keep learning going without making it feel like school. I actually used Iexel quite a bit when I was teaching fifth grade. I used it for my students to give like extra problems for practice or sometimes I also

used it to just check on what the standards were in my state for any given topic in math or reading or writing. It's just a helpful tool all around for teachers, for parents, for students. I honestly do love it. Studies have shown that kids who use IXL score higher on tests. This has been proven in almost every state in the U.S. So if your child is struggling, this is a smart investment that you can make in their learning. A single hour of tutoring costs more than a month of IXL. Don't miss out. One in four students in the U.S. are learning with IXL, and IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S. Make an impact on your child's learning.

Get I-XL now. And Podcrush listeners can get an exclusive 20% off I-XL memberships when they sign up today at Iexl.com slash podcrushed. Visit Iexel.com slash podcrushed to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. In your book, Green Lice, it's one of my favorite books. I'm listening to it. I'm almost done, but I'm listening to it on audiobook. It's so, it's so rich to hear you tell these stories.

But as I've been listening to it, I've been getting this sense that your dad is sort of like larger than life, like almost like a mythic character. And I'm wondering now that you're a father and you've been a father for many, many years now, what are the elements of parenting that you saw through in your father that you've decided intentionally? to bring into your own fatherhood. And are there elements that you have decided to just like gracefully let go of? Both, you know, and trying to ride, you know, trying to do that thing, I think that all of us try and do is just have a small ascension. Be a little bit better dad than me a dad would be a little bit better friend, be a little bit better husband, whatever those things, you know, because we learn.

That's what we get older for. That's what we have hindsight for. That respect, that sirs and maims, we're still big on those in our household. Because the Old Testament way, if we're going to go biblical, is like, you do it because it's your elder and you better do it. Show respect. Valid, yes. But also the New Testament thing that I've added on to that is, look, guys, you also do it because you're going to get more what you want in life if you do. You know, spring the honey to the bees to the honey.

You see that person double tape back at you and go, thank you, ma'am, thank you, sir, for those matters. That, you're building currency in relationships with that respect. We don't use the word C-A-N-T, can't. That's something my dad taught me. Don't say can't. That was a bad. It was a cuss word. That was like taking the Lord's name of thing.

You can go, I'm having trouble. need some help fine because that's constructive my dad was always like that's constructive come to me maybe I can help you

and if I can't help you maybe I can find someone else who can help you but don't say can't I remember he show us how to do things when we'd say can't and maybe a day's week later

and you go see you were just having trouble you'd be like you're right we don't we're very delicate with the words

hate, which is another thing that that was my mom was a big sticker on that. You don't hate, especially your loved ones. And I remember throwing that word out at my own birthday party about my brother. And I threw it out to try and sound like I was older because I'd heard the older kids say it. And when I said it, I knew, I was like, oh, I was in moms. It was an ear range of mom. I'm in trouble. that was a dirty word about my brother.

I felt guilty about it right away. Anyway, I remember getting in trouble in front of everybody at my own birthday. Wow. Anyway, that was embarrassing. You know, big on being honest and not lying. I wrote about it in the book, but my dad especially was like,

admit you lie. And I talk about a lot. We admit where we lie, the lies we tell us. we become something much more valuable. We become good bullshitters. I love a bullshitter over a liar. I thought you were going to say like an honest person. Wait, wait, wait.

So I'm curious, what's the difference? What's the difference? Because while I'm telling you the tall tail, I got a twinkle in mine. I just gave you a little bit of a wink that let you know. The liar's sitting there going, no. I'm telling you the truth. I'm defending this.

This is out what? Now, that's lying. Come on, man. The little twinkle in the little twinkle in the eye of like, yes, the proverbial fish was only eight pounds, but go with me on this one. It was 12. That's fun. There's, there's poetry in that. There's drama. There's leniency. There's bullshit. There's, hey, let's jive. It's got a vibe going here. That's something different than being a straight liar. Now, our family, my dad would rather us

I mean, I tell that story in Green Lights about the pizza story. I got in trouble from him. not because I stole the damn pizzas because I lied about and said I didn't and like he told me he said buddy I've stolen plenty of pizzas man number one

you either need to get you need to talk to me about I'd get away with it better or and you know why do you lie to me and I remember seeing that look on his face

when I got in trouble there I was I talked about it in the book it was a very emotional moment because I feel like I'd let him down I saw on his eyes a look like am I

where have I failed raising my son that he can't admit truth about seeing a damn pizza where did I fail as a father where he's got to feel like he's got to lie to me about that three times to my face and that was the pain that I felt

of seeing the look on his face like what I'm supposed to do what I'm supposed to do And I always regretted that. And we talked to our kids, you know, about it now. We're coming into those years where they're seeking their independence. There are those times where they'll say things to us and agree and maybe go off and do their own thing, make up their own mind.

And so just having talks the other night about, look, there's certain things. I know you want to choose for yourself. Me and mom are not here to overprotect you. We're not here to tell you, can't do that. We're saying, hey, we've been there and know where you're there. And you're there in new places and ways that we haven't been. But discussed, this is a great term. My buddy Bart Nag's in Austin, Texas, who's raised three, raised a few girls,

moved out of the household. And he said this to me a few weeks ago, and I love this term. And I think y'all are going to dig it. He was like, man, in these teen years, you can do one thing or what? He goes, try and maintain. to them communicate. Yeah, because all the stories I hear is that there's that there, the lot of parents go through,

boy, 15 to 19. They zip it up. And then at 19, they come back one day and they go, everything you were saying, I get it now. Thanks, you're going like, but it's not over that quick, man. Five years you put me through hell out, you know what I? So if you can maintain access. We're trying to do that now.

And my parents were very Old Testament, you know, a lot of stuff. I've always said there's a lot of things I did not do as a kid that I should not have done. And I did not do them for fear of the punishment for my parents. So there's some validity in that fear base. At the same time, I want to, I'm a little, I want to lean a little more into the New Testament. I keep bringing up biblical analogies here. but I want to lean a little more into the, no, let me show you why

if you choose to have the discipline not to do that, how it's going to serve you. How that choice, maybe that sacrifice today will give you a greater reward down the line. Now, as we all know, what's the hardest thing to teach kids? Delayed gratification. They all think they're living forever, and today's the day, and that's it.

It's basically one of the hardest things to teach adults to students. We don't like to project at all. And, like, make a sacrifice for a great reward tomorrow. But, boy, if I can get that where they can see, like, I see, you know, we've talked to our daughter. Well, do you want to be, you know, the girl that kisses the most guys early, maybe most popular that year. But come eighth grade, words kind of gotten around. You know what I mean? Reputation.

So just, again, just trying to. lay out there, here's the possible consequences of your actions. Now, which one do you want to choose? And they're all trying to snoods. You're trying to fit in. You're going to middle school. You're trying to fit in. What do you want to be? You want to be popular. Okay. Let's talk about this. Popular for what?

We all want to be relevant. But relevant for what? It's a pretty doggone question to ask ourselves. And for how long term, you know, but it's hard to get children to project like, well, what's that going to mean in high school? what's that going to mean later in life? Because that's the time to try things and fail.

It's the time to stick your foot in your mouth. It's the time to ask so-and-so of the problem when you think you're sure you got it. And they say no. It's the time to be confused and come home. And just we're trying to keep access. I mean, so a lot of those things are things that my father did put on us and expect from us.

I think Camille and I are trying to do our best with going, realizing, I don't want to be, I don't want to be, I'm not going to be the old nostalgic parent who says the stories. Well, back when I, and their life has changed. It's different. It's similar to the same, but they have just so much more information coming out than we ever did than I ever did. And you live in virtual, you have virtual relationships. You talk about projection, you know, their days or social media, their days or go well

or don't go well, depending on thumbs up or thumbs down. And so we talk about, you know, what does that mean? Again, what's real and all that and what's not real? And I try to be honest with them. I go, look, I'm your dad. I've got mom, I've got family. I'm successful. Does a good review of a movie feel better than a bad review?

You damn right, it does. Does somebody writing something about me completely false that shows up in some news feed, even though I know it's completely false? Does it affect me and make me feel physiologically, little, when I walk out there, yes, it does. You would think I would be able to be immune to that. Well, no, even me, I'm not. It's, it's, it's, these are real and you're young.

So I understand it. Like, be, be open and accessible to share with us. Oh, this hurt. And let's talk about, let's admit it hurt, admit, and then talk about how much credence should we give it, you know, and how much important, important should we really give it. And let's talk about it. So we're trying to maintain access, I guess, in ways that you might say are, little more lenient New Testament than my parents did, but based on a lot of the same exact values

that my parents instilled me and my brother. Matthew, I feel like we could talk to you for five hours. I have so many questions I want to ask you, but just while we're on this topic of, do you have four more hours? Just while we're on the topic of delayed gratification in your book, Greenlights, you talk about sort of red light moments as opportunities for planting green light seeds. And I'm wondering what you've learned about, because I think in a red light moment, they're like heavy, feelings that can also keep you trapped or stuck. So what have you learned about sort of like moving through those emotions so that you can get to that green light season and also take advantage of the season that's present for seed

planting? Well, you know, and it's sort of based off of the initial sort of equation I put at the beginning of the book is when faced with the inevitable, get relative. And as soon as we can be faced and we can admit and realize the inevitable and whatever happens in our life and get. relative with now going forward what's my decision making paradigm i think the better now biggest red light my life my dad died i went through the pain went through the morning i still miss him but the the green light is i got very i was forced to get very courageous in my life

and to get courageous and finding my own identity and to put my ass on the line about what i stood for and what I stood against and look in the mirror and go, where you've just been acting like what dad's been raising to be and where you've been really doing it? And I had to call myself out. And I got very courageous actually in his learning his mortality of him leaving. I was like, I don't have a safety net anymore. I don't have a crutch.

And I can either go, whoa, or I can go, let's go. and I remember a sobriety of mental and spiritual sobriety coming with his moving on, where I went through it. I remember right now the world is flat and I looked further and my peripheral vision was clear. And I was like, things that bothered me and failures that bothered me before. When I did sort of have 10% relying on if I really get in a pinch, he's got my back, things that would bother me didn't bother me anymore. I just barge through things and exposed the mendacious things in my life that were like,

I'm like, that's not worth worrying over. And it was something about him leaving this life that did that, that made me go, because you can go two ways. You loved one leaves life. You either shell up and go, oh, my gosh, I'm afraid to live. Or you go, we got a one-way ticket. We all got a one-way ticket. What are we doing?

Let's get up and go find out. And if I, if I flip back trip and fall and screw up, F. So what? So I got a, I tapped into that, and that's when I started to take chances and seek opportunities and get much more courageous and started plant seeds that became green lights. Now, you know, more ethereal version of that, what I noticed later, and I would argue today to be true, is that to actually choose that and become more courageous to start planting green light seeds when you're faced with red light is actually honoring. The red light. Yeah. And I believe when I did that, I look back, I was like, oh, you're actually, you're honoring

dad, your dad, Matthew. If you'd hold up and going, I had no, I'm not, I'm not ready. That would not have been honoring. I'd throw myself in the ring in ways that I'd never done before without looking on my shoulder saying, hey, you got my back? Because he wasn't there to have my bag anymore. I felt like, and this is more of a recent realization, about like, oh, that's a way of honoring that red light.

in your life. Putting it up on a pedestal, seeing it as painful, a harsh consequence, something you don't wish on anybody, but something you can damn sure rely on when it comes to somebody dying and then going, all right, and I shine a light on that and make this a diving board, a springboard. There's a story in the book about your seventh grade poetry competition that made me laugh out loud, mostly because your mom reminded me. me of my mom in that moment, but it did make me think about you as a writer. You talked throughout the book about your, I mean, it's comprised of a lot of your journal entries. You've written since you were a teenager.

And now you've written another book. You've written a book for children. Can you tell us a little bit about what inspired that? Yeah. So being a parent, then you know, you're a parent. Anybody else parents? You got parents? I'm pregnant.

I'm going to have a baby soon. Okay. So the prism, the lens you start looking through life through just changes. You're now a shepherd, at least, a postman, postwoman, at least. He's one-off choices you can make going, if I fail, I'll get back up. Become, no, I've been making decisions for these dependents behind me. You know what I mean? And it's a different peripheral vision you get. So you start seeing life through that, making choices through measuring consequences for your young ones as well.

That consumes my mind a lot. And when something's on my mind a lot, I have dreams about it. This was a dream I had, and I woke up at 2.30 in the morning. I went and wrote it down. All I had was the jingle, just because they threw the dart don't mean that it's stuck. And just because I got some skills don't mean there is no luck. And I remember going in soon. It's a song. It was a song. I woke up and I got this great Bob Dylan Diddy.

And I was like, you know, you're wailing. Doesn't mean that you're a cry. Just because I lie does not mean that I'm alive. And it just, and so the hook was just because and I had the beat. And I just wrote from 2.30 to 630 in the morning. Went back out in bed, got up and looked out. I was like, this is good. Wow. And I was like, this is fun. And I sent it to. And I was like, I think, These could be good for people young because there's also a lot of verses that are not in this book that are for more even older people that are more, I don't know, a little more R-rated that are funny for adults too. But I picked out these and I sent to my book, A's, he was like, this could be, this would be great for a children's book. So I started sharing a bunch of the couplets with my own kids. They liked them.

It started conversations that I wanted, it was hoping to have. They had different, each one of them had different take on each couplet in their own life. and when they asked me questions, I had a different take than their mother had on the same couplet in their own life. So that's what I put together. It was a ditty. It was a song and then really put it down. And hopefully it's a great conversation started between parents and youngsters.

Matthew, will there be an audio book musical version of this? I'll do the audio book. I think I do it this week. Amazing. Okay, I have a question about one of the couplets. Just because I mean, it doesn't mean I'm not lying. Can you share more about that? That one really struck me.

Yeah, well... That's the difference between a bullshitter and a liar, right? But in this case, the person means it. He's saying just because I mean it doesn't mean I'm not lying. Right, right. Well, this is a little... Goes into that, I think, if you deconstruct, when is it the right time to lie?

Hmm. You talk about the little evident lies we talk about, you know, yes, go be honest, but if you can sit there and say something to the proverbial... bad guy in the situation that can preserve or buy you more time to preserve the good people or your family or whatever. Relatively, that's a good time to tell fit, you know, and know you are. It's a little bit of that also, you know, you've heard the little analogy, the grandfather and a grandson there in the south, the tornadoes coming. The grandson dropped on.

on his knees, he starts praying. It's like, get your ass. Scared prayer ain't being stopping the damn tornado. We got to go to shelter. It's a little bit like, yeah, I know you're told you're in strife to go pray for it. No, we've got to take action. It leans into that a little bit just because, I mean, it doesn't mean I'm not lying. You can mean something.

It's a little bit like that. Just because I did it again doesn't mean I don't regret it. Sometimes you're like, I'll take the consequences, man. I'll do it again. And yep, guilty. Catch me. And that's the second time I did it. But I want that cookie so much. I'll take the damn consequences. Who took the last good job? That was me. Yes, I regret it because I regret what may happen to me. But the want, the need at the time, whew, overrode possible consequences. Sign me up. It's a bit of that. Sometimes we just do it. And we're like, I'll deal with the consequences. I'm fibbing, but I mean it. You know what I mean? It's, and it ladles, it does ladle into, Sophie, what you're talking about, a little of that story with the existential logic of my mother telling me, you know, this poem that she loved as Ann Ashbury poem. If you understand that, I guess I understand.

Does it mean something? Yes, it means it to me. What does it mean? I tell him. She's like, well, there you go. Then it's yours. I'm like, well. He won the competition with that poem.

I won. He had written, he had written his own poem and showed it to his mom and she said, no, use this poem. Wow. And then it also leans into drama, poetry, symbolism, magic reality, sometimes, a lot of times, art. The image can tell more truth about the situation than the action. And then the actual detailed factoid words about the exact mathematics of the situation. Does that mean that the art, the image is a lie? It's not really what happened.

It's not factual. It's not, you know, baseline truth, facts. But you ask someone what they got from that and what they got from the report, you know? I understand a lot more from this, the longer, the longer machinations of what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what. says about life. So it's, it just, it just leans into that about, you know, I don't want to be such, I don't want to have to tell kids. And I don't think it's right. Best to tell kids. Hey, you have to, it has to be the, because I've done it to myself, lived in times, I'm like, it has to be the absolute single truth. You make sure. All of a sudden I was like,

no fun to be around. I didn't have any of the BS. We were talking about PIN. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't see art and things. I couldn't make a poem, you know, make something rhyme. Because I was like, no, no, no. The facts. The fact should be just it. Well, they're pretty dry sometimes. So where do you give a flower? Where do you throw a beer in there? Where do you have some fun and break a sweat and go?

I'm not sure. It's not as much about, you know, the reason. I needed the rhyme. Thank you for the rhyme. Now, now I can fly. Geez, all this reasoning, all this logic, especially with us passionate animals. I'm reminded every single day.

And I'm a big logic guy. Get off your logic, eye horse, hey? we are passionate animals logic is usually usually not the answer especially in relationship and we'll be right back in the late 90s and early 2000s Asian women were often reduced

to overtly sexual and submissive caricatures the geishas of the book turned film memoirs of a geisha the lewd twins in Austin Powers and pen up goddess Sunghi Li Meanwhile, the girls next door were always white. Within that narrow framework, Kyla Yu internalized a painful conclusion. The only way someone who looked like her could have value or be considered beautiful and desirable was to sexualize herself. In her new book, Fetishized, a reckoning with yellow fever, feminism, and beauty,

Kyla Yu reckons with being an object of Asian fetishism and how media, pop culture, and colonialism contribute to the over-sexualization of Asian women. blending vulnerable stories from youth's life with incisive cultural critique and history. Fetishized is a memoir and essays exploring feminism, beauty, yellow fever, and the roles pop culture and colonialism played in shaping pervasive and destructive stereotypes about Asian women and their bodies. She recounts altering her body to conform to Western beauty standards, being treated by men like a sex object,

and the emotional toll and trauma of losing her sense of self in the pursuit of the image she thought. the world wanted. If you're a fan of books about Asian American identity like crying and age smart or coming of age stories like somebody's daughter, be sure to pick up fetishized, available wherever books are sold. Fall is in full swing and it's the perfect time to refresh your wardrobe with pieces that feel as good as they look. Luckily, Quince makes it easy to look polished, stay warm and save big without compromising on quality. Quince has all the elevated essentials for fall. Think 100% mongoling cashmere from 50,

That's right, $50, washable silk tops and skirts, and perfectly tailored denim, all at prices that feel too good to be true. I am currently eyeing their silk miniskirt. I have been dyeing for a silk miniskirt. I've been looking everywhere at thrift stores, just like all over town. But I just saw that Quince has one on their website. It is exactly what I've been looking for. So I'm just going to click, put that in my cart. By partnering directly with ethical top-tier factories,

Quince cuts out the middlemen to deliver luxury quality pieces at half the price of similar brands. It's the kind of wardrobe upgrade that feels smart, stylish, and effortless. Keep it classic and cozy this fall with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to quince.com slash podcrushed for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash podcrushed to get free shipping and 365-day returns.

Quince.com slash podcrushed. I really want Penn to have a chance. I feel like Sophie and I have been so eager, but I want to ask you one more question and then I'll yield the time to Penn. Just while we're on the topic of love, I've heard you say that in periods, during periods of time when we're looking for love,

we can be intrusive and we can sort of get out of ourselves. And instead of inviting someone, we kind of intrude on them and that it's important to stay in yourself and invite. And I thought that was really, pertinent to some things I've been experiencing and just like really well said and I wonder if you could just share a little bit more about that

difference between intrusion and invitation. Yeah. Well, the most attractive people I know in life, male and female, they never intrude. They never trespass. I just sent out a birthday wish to a 90 year old man just started 90 day and I was telling him one of my favorite

things you never trespass. They always hold sort of the constitutions here. They don't lean in. I just lost a buddy John Cheney at 78 and one of the most attractive thing he just people were attracted to him of all ages and sexes because he just always he walked everywhere he didn't run he came into a situation he held on all of a sudden it would be the last one to speak up and when he did people were like that's the idea um and it was part of he never got out of himself my friend jake Weber never does that, never leans in. And it's something very attractive. You become a magnet

when you're yourself and you have a place in a situation and you're not trying to be first in line or interrupt or the first one to speak or, hey, let me get in front of you. There's an eagerness to that that's not as attractive usually when it comes to relationships, I find. I catch myself doing all the time. I'll be intrans to it. I may be getting all the points across, but people aren't listen near as well because I wanted to have the right and best answer each time right away and first that's a bit intrusive and it's a bit like okay but to sit back have a listen be present and then all of a sudden someone goes what's your opinion on that and you give it it means a lot it's like I talk about you know to coaches all the time of young teams there's the

coaches that yell everything and then the coaches that talk like this and coach and on certain things at certain times you have to raise your voice well youngsters listen a lot more to that second example because when the coach raises their voice oh this is an explanation mark this means something in particular the ones that's yelling all the time they start to mute it out they're like I don't know what's more important than the last thing you yell and everything that's a bit intrusive. So, you know, it takes a certain confidence and presence to not be intrusive, to not trespass, to sit back and read the context of a room of someone else to catch an eye. Look, when I first night I met Camilla, I started off being intrusive. I started off waving trying

to get her attention. And I don't know to this day, she caught. if she caught my eye, but chose to ignore it, but I'm glad she ignored it because if she'd have caught my eye doing this and I'd have followed through with, hey, we'd come over here, I don't know. That would be my first bogey right there. I'll be going to be here now with her and the family. But evidently, if she did not catch my eye long enough for me to go,

hey, you didn't hear my mom's voice at 12 in my ear going, you don't wave this woman over to you across the room. Boy, get your ass up and go ahead and do you sure. stuff. And I went, that's right. Now I was on the right track. Much less intrusive, much less lazy, much more respectful. Then to, look, in relationships with friends as well, you start off with great friendships when it's easy to say no.

I want a friendship where no's just as easy as yes, right? Hey, can you make it to this thing? no i can't i'm gonna cool that's a great friendship something yeah what happens we start to get to know each other well enough we start to the next time out we're like hey it's no big deal you know it's easy either way it just want to let you know if you know if you could and that's well why you in too many words but you and i were so good on yeah no and now we're starting to kind of explain ourselves and now we start to go like well like no i'm not going to make it i can't make it Well, I can make it, but I don't want it.

And all of a sudden, we're explaining too much, and the relationship's getting complicated, and we're like, ah, can we go back to when it was just easy? When it was either yeah or no, and I wanted to, and you didn't put pressure on me, and I didn't have expectations on you. And it was just a yes or no, and we were cleaning cool, man. Talked so much less, explain so much less.

Let each other down proverbially easier, so much less. And I wasn't let down when you said no, because I didn't need you to say yes to, to fill me. Those, you know, when we lose that partner relationship, it's hard to get back to, but we have to, I've been on many relationships to get that, take that slippery slope, and I'm going to come back and try and intervene and go, hey, let's make sure we keep our friendships simple.

Part of our friendships based on, we don't have to talk every day. We don't have to talk every week. We don't have to talk every month, but every time I see it, we pick right back up, and I don't feel like, oh, you anything, you don't owe me nothing. And that's why we keep getting along to, because it's a free exchange. Those friendships, some of those friendships are awesome, you know? but they're not intrusive and they slowly can become a little more intrusive when you kind of letting someone know through your verb is to feel a little guilty if you tell me no on this and you know and you're starting to use these two adjectives and adverbs and clower up the language like we speak straight a bit when do we get to you know it's it's some some relationships are are hard to maintain like that but very nice when they are that makes me think of uh because we're coming to a close here um that makes me think of how we speak to children

and how we speak to our children, you know. That's kind of, that's the place in life where I'm finding maybe the most ability and the most courage to be simple, you know, and straightforward to trust that. So that's a beautiful gift. But I'm just wondering about, so you've shared some about how you,

how you've been parenting. But our final question of every episode is, if you could go back to your 12-year-old self, what would you say or do? You know, the question is kind of growing with us because it's a simple question and then I think there's levels to it because what I also like to think about

is what would it take for your 12-year-old you to listen, you know? So I'm just curious, what would you say or do? I believe I'd say don't be in such a rush to be 13. which I was. And I can look back at my ambitions for being, you know, to be cool was success and happiness, to be older, be more like my older brother, to be a sir, a father, like my father. These were, these were dreams and ambitions.

And now I know that I can completely say it because I would say that it served, that pursuit served me well. But I do remember, I tell my children, I don't miss out on these years that you are right now. These are first times. You're going to run out of first times. Getting first times right now, man. And don't win a rush because there's only one first time. First kiss.

First his first heartbreak. You're going to get them for the first time. And when we rush, and I would say I'm guilty of this, we can become, we can rush those. first times, and the second time and third time, we can become a little more callous. Maybe we can lose a certain innocence. And then if you rush it later in life, what adults do is they become cynics. Totally.

They go from, you become obviously very young age. First heartbreak, we talked about earlier, I love you, I love you back, I break up with you. I became skeptical. I didn't become cynical. But what happens in older life, I think one of the biggest diseases we have with adulthood is cynicism. Depticism, all right. That's knowledge. That's the context.

I say, let me measure this. But not cynicism. But I would say don't rush to be 13 because it's coming. Trusting that it's coming. We all think we're going to miss, you know, that that party tonight, God, I know we said be on my 9, but then the boys all went down for another part, that that party night that this is going to be the one. And if I miss tonight, I miss it all.

Well, actually, you know what? They're a little older than you, Levi. You've had a great day with them. Let them go do their. young male things that are things that are a little older than you. And actually by you not be in there. They're probably going to have a little more respect for you by you not being in that. You said, hey, I enjoyed my lane today. I hang with my friends, surfed, and these things. But now you are older guys. You're going to go off. And there's going to be girls in a party and alcohol.

Go ahead. They'll actually go. Because we get all, you know what we want to do. We want to overstay our welcome. I always wanted to be the last one to leave everything. And that was version of me rushing to be 13. At 13, rushing to be 14, rushing to be 50. In many ways, it served me well. But if I could go back, I'd say, don't rush to be 13. To my 12 years, self, don't rush to be 13.

It's coming. Regardless. I think that's excellent. Matthew, this was so wonderful. I feel like it flew by. It did. Yeah, it did fly back. It's fun to talk about this great life stuff.

Yeah. Great stuff. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for sharing. I just want to ask you something about your book cover. Sort of want to, if you have a couple more minutes. I was struck by your description being that you're, it says Matthew is a storyteller, a tree house builder, and a pickle expert.

What are the top three attributes of a great pickle? I just really want to know. Great pickle? Firmly. Cold. I like him. We got to be cold. No one likes a warm pickle.

And, and I'm a mini, I'm a mini-coaching. Yes, that all sounds great. I want to hear that sound like a, not as stiff as a carrot, but. close. No, no, I'm not a, you know, pickles just have so much going on. You're right. And they're young, they're a cucumber. Yeah.

I mean, what's a cucumber about besides taking up space in your salad? That has no taste. It's got identity. It comes out of the gate. You know what it is. It's weathered. It's got some scars on it. It's done its time.

And it really knows who it is. Cucumber's great. I don't know. Put them on your eye. They give you a little water, I think. Other than that, you just kind of take up room in your salad,

but not the pickle. I love this. I'm honestly salivating. I know. I want to pickle. I'm going to go eat a pickle. I do love pickles. Thank you.

Thank you so much for stopping back. Hey, Prish. Any time. Thanks for taking the time to talk with me. Hey, I know y'all said headphones, but I think we're pretty clear. I haven't needed them in the past. Okay. If we're...

Hey, y'all got a little nervous. Yeah, you know what? Listen. Wait, just a minute. Zellupi is like, okay. Stitcher.