Podcrushed - Meghan & Ryan Trainor

Episode Date: December 21, 2022

Singer, songwriter (and current queen of TikTok) Meghan Trainor joins us this week to talk about being frenemies with her brothers in middle school, why she’s homeschooling her kids, and how social media stardom has transformed her career. As a special bonus, Ryan Trainor stops by to share about his and Meghan’s podcast, Workin' On It, and how he’s working to overcome addictions stemming from childhood trauma.  Follow us on socials!TiktokTwitterInstagramSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada Also in high school, though, when, like, we became friends and we would have house parties and you would look at me and be like, let's get everybody out of the area. And I was like, let's go. Get the fuck out! Like, we were a unit. And we would roll up to parties and go, the trainers are here. That was the best.

This is Pod Crushed. The podcast that takes the sting out of rejection. one crushing middle school story at a time. And where guests share their teenage memories, both meaningful and mortifying. And we're your host. I'm Nava, a former middle school director. I'm Sophie, a former fifth grade teacher. And I'm Penn, a middle school dropout.

You know, we're nearing the end of our season, and I kind of feel like we're out of banter. I don't have anything more to say to you guys. Navi, do you have any stories about your dogs? I'm not kidding. That's what we really need. So you can cut them? No, I'm not kidding. Oh, as though we've ever got a story about your dog.

Yeah, we've never got a story about your dog. Though we try. We have tried. You have both of them right now, don't you? Louis and Olivier? No, Louis, okay, here's, I don't know if this is a great story, but on Monday nights, I host a thing at my house for young professionals. And Louis cannot handle the energy of more than one person in my apartment.

So the entire night, he's just circling the room, barking, biting people. Sometimes he and Oliver will just, like, stand in the middle of the room, either fighting or humping, and it's so distracting. And I don't know what to do about it Other than like just leave them at my dad's every Monday Brothers who can't stop fighting or humping Sounds like my childhood I don't know what brother

That's a great story Sophie how's your dog that you gave away? Oh my God They cancels No one is supposed to know She had bitten a child You know I think if So wait so you didn't report her

There's a child biting dog on the lamb You haven't alerted anybody Let me get to the funny story We had to give her to this family Who was going to foster her for a while Who had children No children

No one was harmed But David and I were so distraught I mean we were sobbing And we had to take turns Like explaining to this family Like how to take care You know like when to give her her food And we were just blubbering

This family took her upstairs Into their apartment this was in Queens and David and I were so broken up we couldn't go anywhere we just went like directly beside the building and sat on a curb and just like held each other and sobbed for so long that eventually the family came down to walk Stevie and we were right there on the curb sobbing and Stevie was like mom dad yeah she like looked at us like huh and the family was didn't know what to do it was like the most uncomfortable situation and then did Stevie Did you bite you?

Stevie did one time bite me. I have a scar from when she bit me. A scar! Yeah, I have a scar. So I don't feel bad about giving Stevie away, but it was very emotional. Nor should you. Today we have a very special episode. We're joined today by two people who love their dogs so much they would never give them away.

They also happen to be siblings. Their names are Megan Trainer and Ryan Trainor. And together they train dogs who they never give it. No, that's not true. Megan Trainor Well, you probably know who Megan Trainor is She's a Grammy Award winning recording artist Her song Made You Look

Which you've definitely heard All over TikTok Especially if you follow I'mo I could have my Gucci on I go with my Louis Vuitton But even with nothing Oh

That I made you look I made you look And Megan just so happens to have a podcast With her Big Brother Ryan trainer, where they get honest about mental health, parenthood, and life in Hollywood with guests like Paris Hilton and Dr. Drew and more. So you'll hear from Ryan in the second half of today's episode, but for now, we're just going to kick things off with Megan right after this very tiny,

very little break, stick around. Does anyone else ever get that nagging feeling that their dog might be bored? And do you also feel like super guilty about it? Well, one way that I combat that feeling is by making meal time everything it can be for my little boy, Louis. Nom Nom does this with food that actually engages your pup senses with a mix of tantalizing smells, textures and ingredients. Nom Nom offers six recipes bursting with premium proteins, vibrant veggies and tempting textures designed to add excitement to your dog's day. Pork potluck, chicken cuisine, turkey fair, beef mash, lamb, peel off and turkey and chicken cookout. I mean, are you kidding me? I want to eat these recipes.

Each recipe is cooked gently in small batches to seal in vital nutrients and maximize digestibility. And their recipes are crafted by vet nutritionists. So I feel good knowing it's design with Louis' health and happiness in mind. Serve nom nom as a complete and balanced meal or is a tasty and healthy addition to your dog's current diet. My dogs are like my children, literally. which is why I'm committed to giving them only the best. Hold on. Let me start again because I've only been talking about Louie. Louis is my bait. Louis, you might have heard him growl just now. Louis is my little baby and I'm committed to only giving him the best. I love that Nom Nom Nom's recipes contain wholesome nutrient rich food, meat that looks like meat and veggies that look like veggies because

shocker they are. Louis has been going absolutely nuts for the lamb pilaf. I have to confess that he's never had anything like it, and he cannot get enough. So he's a lampy laugh guy. Keep mealtime exciting with NomNum, available at your local pet smart store or at Chewy. Learn more at trynom.com slash podcrushed, spelled try n-O-M dot com slash podcrushed. Hey, it's Lena Waith. Legacy Talk is my love letter to black storytellers, artists who've changed the game and paved the way for so many of us. This season, I'm sorry. sitting down with icons like Felicia Rashad, the Red of Divine, Eva Du René, and more.

We're talking about their journeys, their creative process, and the legacies they're building every single day. Come be a part of the conversation. Season 2 drops July 29th. Listen to Legacy Talk wherever you get your podcast, or watch us on YouTube. We actually wanted to kick things off by knowing how you reacted when you saw that pen duetted

made you look with Elise. I'm acting very cool, but I'm dying. inside. Do you mean right now? Yes, right now. I'm acting so chill that I am screaming inside. I freaked out. I screamed just like everyone else said.

There's articles written about it. You're a big deal. I know. Well, you know, that made me think that like the news cycle needs, it needs, I mean, look. It needs more of you dancing. It's cool that this happened. But I, too, was like, this is news. I think there was a CNN article.

I think there were places where I was like, guys, this is. And now when they talk about me, they're like, Megan, you're hit everywhere. Penn Badgley dancing to him. I'm like, I know. I've made it. I'm sorry. I've attached myself to it. Like a parasite.

Megan, I heard that there might have been like an unexpected outcome from pen duetting it between you and Elise. Oh, we're besties. Yeah. Oh, I expected that. Yeah, we were messaging before, but like that really took it to a whole new level. And I texted her like, oh my gosh. She's like, can you believe it? I was like, no.

And then I got to. to work with her, we're doing an a cappella version of the song, and I picked a few of my besties. Is that from the, is that, were you already doing that? Is that like, is that kind of? Well, that was just like, oh, my God, she needs to be a part of it. Like, we're so close now. We have such extra bond. And she loves you so much.

She's an incredibly authentic supporter, which is you don't get that a lot with people who are then themselves thrust into the spotlight a lot. Yeah, and she's exactly who she is in person, too, which is amazing. Yeah. Megan, I like to think of myself as Penn's Momminger. So I'm just going to throw it out there. I already have one of those, Nava. You don't need to be that. You don't need to do it.

Penn is a beautiful voice. So if you want to do a second. I know. Your band, like, mother? That's right. Yes. Yes. I did research.

You guys rocked. You were very cool. Your song, Easy. I actually can say that I'm proud of that record, you know. Be easy Don't try to push it because we're in Oh no It's great

Not every actor has a band That they can be proud of Right And yours is fantastic Oh thank you Your music video is very cool Well thanks, thank you You know how long it takes to learn ahead

It's difficult I've rehearsed today For a show tomorrow Where are you playing Drew Bairmore show. I've heard of it. Oh, my goodness. Co-hosting. We're doing a little tune. Very excited. So exciting. Congratulations, Megan.

Thank you so much. I'm peaking. We all are. Life is great. Megan, I wanted to ask you a little bit about music because, you know, our show is about middle school. And we read somewhere that you wrote your first song when you were 11, which is kind of the beginning of those middle school years.

Can you tell us a little bit about how you got into music. What was your experience around that time? I thought that everyone wrote their own music and I was like well I'm going to be a pop star so I better get writing. So I started writing my songs. I would write

them over other songs that were already written I noticed but it wasn't like another pop song. It was like heart and soul on the piano like dun da da and I would write lyrics to it. And then I learned chords and was like oh I could do this myself and my first songs were very emotional big love song And my mom's like, who hurt you?

And I was like, I don't know what love is. I just hear about it all the time. But yeah, those are my first songs were like big love ones. Do you remember the name of the first song you wrote when you were 11? God. No, there's one big tune. My mom knows it. She's like screaming in the next room.

But the first one I wrote on Heart and Soul was like a wedding song from my aunt and uncle. I was like seven then. And that was the only tune I could play. You played it at the way? I didn't know. No, they got married on their own. Like, they didn't even do a wedding. We get them a cake and I said, they were cool, you know.

But I wrote, like, my auntie and my uncle, they were walking down the aisle. And I was like, I didn't even go. That was my dream. It's also really sweet because it's right with the rhythm too. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We weren't, like, created. You weren't swinging yet on the beat.

No, that's how I started. Megan, were you passionate about anything else at that time? or did you always know you were on the pop star track? Yeah, it was just that. That was, like, my hobby. My dad was very musical. He was a band teacher at one point for Nantucket Band. That's where I'm from, born and raised, Nantucket Island.

So he would, like, wake us up in the morning by playing piano, and he would write a song about like, rise and shine, you know? And I'd be like, shut out. But he was a great, great guy, and we would play music together. Was he a church organist? He also did that, yes. So does that mean you grew up with a lot of church music? Um, yeah, for sure.

And my dad would make me sing on some Sundays. And if it was like Mother's Day weekend, he'd be like, write a song for mom and come perform it in church. And I'm like, okay. Come perform it in church. Wow. Yeah, I mean, there's like nine people there. Okay. And if they showed up on time, we're like, you get a treat. Megan's going to come sing.

It was great practice. It was a treat, apparently. Yeah, yeah. Now, now it is, yeah. I really don't know much about Nantucket Island at all. Can you tell us a little bit about what it was like growing up there? that Gwynnevere Beck, who was from my, sorry, that's a deep cut

for some listeners might know it. Guinevere Beck is a fictional person. She's, she's, she's, she's, she's a person. No, that's why, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You, I love you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I think she's from Nantucket. She was, yeah, she was going to live there or something.

And my mom was like, you are the girl from Nantukkah. It should have been you. And I was like, they should have me. So, yeah, Nantucket. Yeah, it's great. It's small. And there's, it's like old school. Like trapped in time because that's the rules, you know.

You can't paint your house. Yeah. So it was like all intensely cobblestone, like real old cobblestone. Like it wasn't safe. It's not safe, especially to be drinking downtown. You don't want to do that. You're going to trip and fall. Wow.

But yeah, it's great. My parents owned a jewelry store down there, and that was my whole life. It's like going to help them out at the jewelry store and doing music at home. Not a lot of music there, though. Megan, I want to hear more about what school was like, just in general. like middle school, what was it like for you? I got a weird story where I was like allergic to my school. And I don't talk about it a lot because it's embarrassing and it doesn't make any sense and it's hard to explain.

But I coughed a lot and there's a lot of like mold in my school. There's not a lot of options to go to school in Antucket. There's one public school and then one private school and I couldn't get into that one because I wasn't smart enough. But I coughed a lot and I got sent home every day. And it happened like right in middle school, sixth grade, seventh grade, to the point where we had to move to Cape Cod. because I was just getting sent home and I missed so much school and I even got a surgery

Botox on my vocal course to stop coughing didn't work, waste of money and it was just like my allergies were really aggressive mold and like grass grass I don't know but it sucked and it was a lot of sad years

how was that for you in terms of like making friends at your new school in Cape Cod yeah I had to like seventh grade move to a new school I brought my brothers too and they hated me They were like, because we were like popular, cool kids on Nantucket. We had friends. And we went to this new school that was like three times as big and no one cared about us.

And it was like we were losers and had to sit alone. And my brother took it really hard. And we were not friends for a while. But then it turned out that this Cape Cod High School was like the greatest place ever had the best music program ever. So I was thriving and shining. And my brother became like the football star and the most popular. kid ever and we won and it was great and it was like all for the best but it was a tough launch tough middle school years i can imagine that that would have been hard especially on you

because i mean i was the problem yeah not the problem but you had to your family had to up and move because of something that you were experiencing what was really hard was that my my parents had to keep the jewelry store going because that was their only source of income so one parent was on nantucket like Monday or Sunday through Wednesday and the other parent was with us and they would switch so for like seven years they lived like a divorce couple and it was really

really tough but somehow they're still married and still kicking but they sacrifice everything like they are the best greatest parents like the best example too of like here's how to be a perfect parent it's my parents oh that is so amazing my mommy's here right now she's my assistant I didn't

hey mommy I didn't meet her did I no no not yet She's in there. Oh, yeah, my brother. We're saving it. Megan, I actually heard that you, I mean, you want a big family. I think you've been really open about that. You want four kids.

And that you want to homeschool your kids and what you're saying now sort of ties it together. But tell us why. You're both so young looking, but your Wikipedia's or whatever, y'all have lived many lives. And you're like teachers and pottery and everything. You're amazing. I would love to homeschool. I hate the concept of school. I don't know.

Maybe just because I had such a tough time. and kids are so ruthless and bullies. And, like, especially, I don't even know this world of, like, being famous, but, like, famous. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do now. You do now. Yeah, but, like, famous children. Oh, what's it like for them? Yeah.

Like, they must get attacked. My husband was Spy Kids, legendary. Amazing. And he was in school when he was famous, and he got ripped apart. Yeah. Like, bullied, like, to the max. So I can't imagine what it's, like, being the famous person's kids, you know? And I just, like, don't want any part.

of it. Yeah. And I hear all these like homeschool kids are like so advanced because they're not wasting time. You're like getting it done. There's there's a lot of ways to think about it. I definitely, I had like a like a sort of homeschool slash unschool at points. It wasn't called, we didn't choose to do unschooling what people do now. Well, I don't know. I mean, see I started working so young. Yeah, you were. You were working young. So I feel like I loved the idea of school. I love the idea of school but it's still a fantasy like I never went to college

and I never really went to high school so even when I see high schools and colleges they look like a place there's still part of me that feels like I'm waiting to go there and feels intimidated by it and then I mean the interesting thing on top of that is that if I was to enter that

building I'm quite recognizable to that demographic and so you know it's a strange realizing also that I'm like when I see kids that age I'm like you're babies But I think of college kids as being older and larger than me. Yeah, they're not. They're so good.

Also, I spend a lot of money and time in my attic. I have a huge attic in my new house. And it looks like a professional legendary preschool. I know not many people do that, but it was like my project that I did. I like built a bathroom in there, not myself, but I'm on my high people. I was assuming it was you. Right. There's like a big toilet for the teacher and then like a medium-sized toilet and then a

widow toilet. Wow, you did that. And then a little urine. I thought it through. Wow. So I'm like, well, I put so much into that place. I'm going to homeschooling up there. So you really are, yeah. But at least for preschool, he's up there, you know? Wait, you have two kids, right? No, I want one. I have one. I have one. I want four. Why do I think you have two? He's adorable. And how old is he right now? He, I don't know. What is he? Almost two in February? He's like a year or something. He's like perfect. He's like 20-something months. I don't know, you know. He'll be two in February. Well, you have a while. Yeah. You have a while. You have a while. Because really it's like they don't need to be in anything until they're five.

I'm in like a mom group. It's like super famous and cool because there's like Hilary Duff and like Ashley Tisdale. Really? Mandy Moore. It's not your average mom group. Not your average mom group. We're pretty cool. But they're already like talking preschool and I was like, what?

Because you know like in L.A. You have to like sign your kid up while they're in the womb. But I was like, whatever, I'll just build my own preschool. And my therapist said, which was so sick, because I was worried he wouldn't be so. Everyone's like, well, he's not going to have friends. I'm his friend. Also, she said all he needs is one other human for that social interaction to be like a good person someday. All you need is one other soul.

And I was like, sick, what about five? Five is a good number, I think. Completely uneducated opinion? Yeah. I think you're doing a good thing. I'm like, I mean, I'm not doing anything else. Like, I refuse to do anything else. So like, this is it.

But a lot of people are like, you're what? You know? And they're like, you can't give in a bite. bubble forever. I'm like, but I can for as long as I can. What's a bubble, guys? Isn't capitalism a bubble? That bubble's going to burst. You want to talk about bubbles? Dude, my house? If you saw it, you'd be like, oh, I get it. You know? Is it a bubble? Is it a bubble down? It is a big bubble. Tell you what?

With a water bargain in the back. Okay. I got... actual? Yeah. I put all of my dollar bills into a pool with a slide. I tell you, I'm going to start selling records. You got to start selling records. That's not where I make my money at all. I'm an influencer's on TikTok. Have you seen me? Do you sell CDs? No.

Is that how you make your money? Yeah, but no. Nobody buys them anymore. They're like, it's like art now. So they don't buy that. Wait, you must tour a lot. No, I refuse. Really?

Really? Yeah. So, I mean, that is actually, that's rare for people in your position. It's rare. It's the hardest part. Notice everyone's bowing out because it's too physically hard. The schedule is nuts. It is bananas.

Nobody talks about except me. I'm like, I won't do it. It's too hard. And everyone's like, because I'm, thriving right now. I'm successful with a song finally. So they're like, tour, when? And I'm like, no, I'd rather make a child. I'd rather

make babies. Like, my managers are like, what is your top, like, goal in life? I'm like, babies, four of them. That's crazy. They're like, then do that. Yeah. Yeah, they're like, well, how can monetize her baby making? How can we monetize her baby making? But

yeah, all my money is like literally influencing or like doing commercials or, you know, Okay, yeah. If you want to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do actually on the topic of sort of related to social media, but I think currently, obviously there's a lot of pressure to like keep up with other people.

And I think in middle school it's really that feeling of being compared to your peers is really amplified. It's something that our listeners struggle with a lot. And I actually wanted to ask you, Megan, because you're in the public light, that stage that's really pronounced at like 12 is perpetual. Like you'll never escape it, basically. So what have you? learned about navigating, like, constant comparisons to your peers, and there must be, like, some feelings of rejection being in the public.

How do you get through that? It's horrible. It happens all the time, and I was, I was the worst at it. My husband told me the other day, I was like, how have I changed in our six years of being together? And he was like, you compare way less to others, you know? Because I'd be like, how did she get that job? I have way more hits or, like, you know, I would always do that stuff.

And I'd be like, maybe it's because they're prettier, maybe because they sing better and and I was terrible at that and I really tried my brother knows he'd pickle me all the time for this but I've really tried to work on my self-love talk because Daddy Phil

Dr. Phil taught me that like if you get bullied or hear something or bully yourself you hear it over again like 1,400 times in your head and that's what sticks to your brain and is stuck there forever so that's what I've learned with my self-talk and my self-love anthems

I'm like I'm gonna start singing this kind of stuff and like have my brain hear that and learn it and I did change significantly with my confidence while singing these like upbeat like I love myself songs like it definitely I saw it changed my brain so I just been working on that forever don't go anywhere we'll be right back all right so let's just let's just real talk as they say for a second that's a little bit of an aged thing to say now that that dates me doesn't it But no, real talk. How important is your health to you? You know, on like a one to ten. And I don't mean the, in the sense of vanity, I mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well, right? You want to be less stressed. You don't want it as sick. When you have responsibilities, I know myself, I'm a householder. I have two children and two more on the way, a spouse, a pet, you know, a job that sometimes has its demands. So I really want to feel like when I'm not getting the sleep, and I'm not getting nutrition when my eating's down.

I want to know that I'm being held down some other way physically. You know, my family holds me down emotionally, spiritually, but I need something to hold me down physically, right? And so honestly, I turned to symbiotica, these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious. And I'm telling you, even before I started doing ads for these guys, it was a product that I really, really liked and enjoyed and could see the differences with.

The three that I use, I use the, what is it called, the liposomal vitamin C, and it tastes delicious, like really, really good. Comes out in the packet, you put it right in your mouth. Some people don't do that. I do it, I think it tastes great. I use the liposomal glutathione as well in the morning. Really good for gut health, and although I don't need it, you know, anti-aging.

And then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8, which is really good for, I think, mood and stress. I sometimes use it in the morning, sometimes use it at night. All three of these things taste incredible. Honestly, you don't even need to mix it with water. And yeah, I just couldn't recommend them highly enough. Do you want to try them out? Go to symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping.

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They were always, my older brother is a year and five days older than me. So his friends were like my age, pretty much. That is so close. Right. My mom was just like, blah, blah, blah. Your parents were. My dad was 43 and my mom was 23. Oh, wow.

So she was like, let's get it going. He was like, yeah, just let me stretch. I'm an organ player. I'm not used to this. Yeah, that was his third wife, so he was a pro. No other babies. It was great. So all Ryan's friends were my age, and I just loved them all.

And one of my first songs I ever got to record was called Give Me a Chance, and it was me begging his best friend to love me. And it never worked. But it's all right, because I'm so successful now. And I'm married to my kids. But also to the comparing thing, I wanted to say that it's also like, like recently, there's a radio stations that'll be like, Megan Trainor versus Taylor Swift, comment who you think is better. And I was like, what's a bummer? What a year are we in?

Like, why am I being competed with the superstar of all superstar? Like, and why are you having us compete? Like, shut it. Yeah. You know? So they still do that stuff, even though they're getting a little better. But social media will destroy you So get off of social media

Take some breaks Unless you're going to follow Pod Crush At P-O-D CRU Y'all TikToks are killing it The stain in the life It was so good

Megan, we love you I love you I want to ask you a couple questions about your album And then we want to bring Ryan In who you've mentioned a few times Brother So I just want to know

What's the inspiration behind your new album And which song are you the most proud of? Oh, man. So my last album I put it out. It's called Treat Myself. No one heard it. It's fine. It's a banger. I put it out right when COVID hit. So bye-bye. And then this album, I stopped chasing radio and stopped thinking, this is what they'll play. This is what they'll do. And I noticed on TikTok my old song title blew up. And it was like the doo-opi. And then a songwriter told me, you know, I've had these artists come in saying, I want to do the Megan Trainor sound. And I was like, what is my sound? The doo-op thing? Is that what they're talking about? They're like, yeah, and I was like, oh, easy. So I started writing what it's like to be a working mama, because I had a young baby, and at three months I was, like, on a TV show again working. Which is, like, normal, but I was like, this is crazy.

No, it's not normal. Well, like, a lot of moms have to go back at three months. Oh, yes, but I thought you meant the TV show. No, it's, yeah, and I was just like, this is what everyone does. I hate this. And I got to bring my baby to work, and they don't get to do that. So I wrote a song called, Don't I Make It Look Easy? that was on Tiki Tuck

because I was getting in the car and I was going to the studio and I was piling in all my baby stuff and we were like the diapers and like the bouncy thing and I was like don't I make this look easy? This is crap

and we wrote that fun upbeat doo-op song that's all over Tick-Tuck and then I just did more do-op sounds and I did them the rest of them I did them all in my house

in my basement and my baby got to come downstairs and we would take baby breaks and it was the most fun best time ever and I heard when you have babies you get more creative and my lyrics were like...

Where'd you hear that? I heard Childish Gambino got... He didn't... Dr. Gambino. Dr. Gambino. Yeah, he said, like, his music got better

after he had kids, and I was like, this I was about to be my best one yet. And, like, I was really proud of it, and the world has connected to it, and it's like, it was right, you know? Like, it's good.

And then I wrote the self-love-made-you-look anthem in the shower one day, and I sang it to my birthday, brother in our workout. I was like, is this crap or is this gold? And he was like, that's good. It's platinum. It's platinum. So good. Yeah. Are you guys mamas? No, not yet.

Oh my God, you're going to love it. I know. I'm really I'm really itching. My husband is a producer and editor, so he's listening on this call. And David. And he's just shaking his head. He's like, I'm an organ player. No, but as a

creative person, that is something that has been really scary about the idea of having kids is like, am I going to lose all of this time? Like, how will I be able to make... No, you get more time. Yeah. You get more time because you wake up earlier. That's, yeah. See, I was sleeping until 10.

I lost hours of my life. Wow, that's true. You know, and I can accomplish way more in life. And a lot of people said when you have babies, like your life ends and theirs begins and now it's only their life. I got better in every single category. And I took that as I can give birth I can have a C-section and survive I can do anything

You know And I the hardest thing for me Was to lose weight a healthy way And I did it I lost 60 pounds after having him And that was like one of my goals And then I was like I'm gonna write a book

And I'm gonna write the best album yet And I'm gonna travel the world And I'm going Australia And I'm just slang So have babies because you're like That is really love that Megan That's a pretty good pitch That really is not what you hear

So that's like so encouraging Right? I never knew that. I saw Elaine Welteroth, who was like editor-in-chief of Team Vogue and has done a million other things. She had a baby recently and she just posted the other day saying like babies bring blessings. And I've heard that before. Like on the other side of having a baby, there's like more creativity, more ideas, more, you know. Everything, yeah. Also in like, especially in the pop star world, like I was told by a big exec back in the day, I was like, why don't they play this stuff?

an artist and he was like because she's a mom and nobody cares about moms like and that scarred me for life so I thought they're like moms aren't sexy they're not going to play moms and I think Beyonce changed that for everyone when she came back and was like I'm hot as hell watch this album and she was correct um but I yeah when I had this baby I was like oh but I'm not going to come back super hot like what is this going to be for me like what is this album going to be like and it was my best one yet and it made me scared like when I have if I have more kids like am I going to ruined this momentum I'm getting and I'm like no dude Riley was my good luck charm everything opened up everything happened because of that kid like every opportunity

came to me and I'm thriving on a platform now and it's because that boy like is my good luck charm and opened up my and started my life opened up my life and started it so have babies make money you know I love it great David all right babies make money perfect So, Megan, you've mentioned your family a lot. You have somebody here. You have your brother here. I brought my brother all the way from California. Ryan, come on in.

Ryan, Traynor, everyone. It's my brother. I'm here. What's going on? It's Ryan Trayner. How are you? Yay, brother. He's so nervous.

He's like, why am I here? I'm like, you're my brother. I want to ask a little bit about your childhood. Megan, you were saying that you're a year and five days apart. We shared a lot of birthdays. Wow. So tell us a little bit about what it was like growing up so close. Growing up, like Ryan was much bigger than us somehow, though, even though we were a year apart.

He was a big boy. So me and my younger brother, Justin, we would always play WrestleMania and he would just beat our ass. And we would get, like, we would start to cry. And he's like, you guys are no fun. And we're like, you're just so massive. And then in middle school, when I was the reason we moved, we weren't close at all. We were enemies and it sucked. And then.

Yeah, they started high school. was kind of tough. And then by the end of my junior year, we were best of friends. Dude, I mean, we just had the best manhunt game nights of all time. Like, we took Manhunt very seriously. Like the entire neighborhood, we would be hiding in. The blessing of growing up in Antucket as a child is you could just be outside.

Yeah, like you won't get kidnapped there, you know what I'm saying? At night. Like, you don't lock doors, you don't lock cars. And we would have the most epic games of man-hound with our friends. And we would know, like, oh, it's time to come back. Just play the organ. Literally. Hi, no.

Yeah, so I guess... Man, how it was great. Also, in high school, though, when, like, we became friends and we would have house parties and you would look at me and be like, let's get everybody out of the day. And I was like, let's go. Get the fuck out! Like, we were a unit. And we would roll up to parties and go, the trainers are here.

That was the best. That's really cute. Yeah, playing her music. Oh, he would play my music at parties. He would be like, who is this Rihanna? Yeah. I'm a pop star. That's Megan Trainor.

I have a specific moment of you performing your song Waterfalls at Rock the Mike. And all my friends, me and my friend just like singing along. You were drunk. Yeah. You were drunk in high school. And they were like singing the words. And I felt like a superstar and I won that year. Then I became the cool music sister.

I was trainer sister forever. That was my name. Wow. And now he's Megan Trainor's brother. Because you were the athlete, is that way? Ryan was like... Yeah, he was the king athlete. So Megan claimed that I was a football star.

Very false information, okay? I was drunk in the stands. I was the hype guy. You played football, but then you turned into the hype guy. You were a star adjacent. You were the Jupiter. He would have like the black these things and be like, let's go team. I was friends with all the football players and I'd hype everybody up.

Let's paint the chess. He's the party guy. It's, you know, school spirit. I was a school spirit guy. You guys are the best. And I was like, they're drunk. Wow. My brother was an alcoholic in some sorts of other things.

And he is recently sober for over a year. Wow, congratulations, right? And he's never been better, so handsome and a good person and wakes up early and is about to be 30 and thriving. Yeah, I mean, I don't wake up early all the time. You know, sometimes there's still late. Which, yeah, you wake up. I go into detail on kind of what happened in my life on an episode of our podcast called Working on a Pod. It's called Working on Addiction.

We had Dr. Drew on. And he really, like, dialed in who I am as a person. and what I needed to do to kind of fix some of the stuff. Our podcast was like our therapy on working through his sobriety, literally. Wow. It wasn't meant to be. It just timed up perfectly. And we got Dr. Drew to be a guest, and he literally, like, gave Ryan a whole session.

That's beautiful. The best thing he said is, like, brains heal brains. Because Ryan was like, I will never do therapy ever. And I was like, every middle schooler needs therapy. Wait, why did you feel that way? that you'll never be there for you know it's probably like just a stubborn guy like he's close my problems I'm gonna hold it all in I used to just drink them down you know too and but I had forgotten I did actually go to counseling in college because I'd messed up and they were like you need to go talk to this

person and did you like that when you went or was it I did I actually enjoyed it I just had forgotten it's probably all the Xanax but I forgot that experience and then talking to dr. Drew he was saying it was still too early for me to go see someone like right after you sober up going to a therapist would actually be a waste of time because your brain is still like

chemically imbalanced so I waited the proper amount of time like six months to a year and he went to a trauma therapist and she was amazing but it's so sick I like never want to get a tattoo but if I did it'd be like

brains heal brains you need another brain to heal you so you seem like on one hand it seems like you were a good time he was that was the problem which which which which on one level is it's like that's and that's totally true and then it sounds like you know you were I mean you you guys have mentioned trauma a few times my understanding of especially men who you know and I've been there and I've had those phases it's like you know we we struggle with vulnerability we struggle with

feelings of intimacy because as men were actually denied it very, very, very, very early on, like as boys, I think, just because of the gender norms and all this stuff. So I'm thinking of just, like, how your transition from childhood into middle school and the high school, like, what did that look like for you as you went from the boy that you were into, like, the hype guy who's... Can I just say that before you say it? Sorry, I'm the worst.

His trauma was at a very young age. Is that like 12? Which is why I'm going to homeschool. Another example. Go ahead. Moving was tough. and I learned that oh if I if I'm the party guy I can make friends pretty rapidly

and yeah that continued throughout the rest of my life but then I would have I would have dark moments alone like the party be over I would still drink until everything's gone like I just everything excess like I was I would just go go go so my friends now like a lot of them they're like dude I think you kind of like overreacted you don't really have a problem I was like you don't know me dude

I've met you the last three years of my life I've been drinking since I was 12 years old you have no idea who I am like I would drink alone I loved drinking alone I could be very you know life of the party talk to everybody but that's kind of like a front

like being alone is a good time for me he's an introvert Ryan how did you get a hold of alcohol when you were 12. Like, how did that start? Instructions. We want step by step. Hey, mister. Hey, mister. Is Nantucket.

You steal it from your parents. It's kind of standard. You know, you grow up on the East Coast. It's a quiet island. It's awesome in the summer. By the way, best place in the world. Nantucket is my favorite place in the world forever. It's one of those towns where you can get a hold of anything.

There's not much to do there, too. There's no mall. There's no bowling alley. It's quiet long winters. You just get messed up and hook up. And that's Nantucketka, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I guess that's how you guys are so close

Together in age Because my parents kept hooking up Yeah I don't know There's nothing else to do I was like What are you trying to say? Yeah

Anyways So the quarantine kind of escalated everything Because I was I was pregnant So I was like You may not leave the house Yeah

And I still have the same Drinking habits But And then a little extra You know I don't know what to do I'm rewatching the sopranos And I'm like

Tony's drinking I'm gonna have a glass of wine Turns into a bottle of wine And I'm drinking the rest of the day every day as long as I was like oh if I just get to the gym in the morning I went to the gym every morning sweat it out and then start drinking like that was there was a problem when he fell asleep in the pool

twice right and then every night he would be on our couch and fall asleep with the cup in his hand and I would take the cup out and he would clench he'd be like where is it you know like where's my drink and if I would wake him up by doing that he'd go and drink it and I was like there's no need for this you're going to bed you know like that was we were like Uh-oh.

Yeah. So, but without that, I wouldn't have figured out my issues. Yeah, you would have cracked like at 40 or something. Yeah, you know, 28. And then like holding Riley that first day she came back from the hospital and he's looking up at you. I was like, oh, shit, this kid's going to look at me. Like, what is Ryan doing? He loves Rai Rai, you know, like you want to set a good example.

I think I slowly was, every time I'm out of. a party or an event, I'm like, this kind of sucks. Yeah. And I'm getting so fucked up just to make it more fun. Right. And it's not good for you. It's literally poison. And when I started meditating, I started to see that more and more and more.

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spelled trinom.m.com slash podcrushed. We ask every guest, so ask both of you. I'm going to ask you first. If you could go back to your 12-year-old self, what would you say? Or what does you do? He's never been asked this. I've been asked us.

You can do us later. Tell mom you're not okay. Go tell mom and dad. Ask for help. I need help. Something has happened. Please. That's a great one, brother.

That is great. And to just, I don't know, I felt like my entire life, I was like, I need to be perfect. I need to be the best. I got to do my work. I need to get AIDS. I got to do this. Like, if you just relax, life is going to work out just fine. I think constantly I always thought about the future.

and missed out on present moments. If I could just tell my younger self. You freaked out once. And you cried and had a meltdown and said, how am I supposed to provide for a family someday? And like, how am I. 12 years old? Like, I just was thinking way too ahead. A lot of pressure on guys.

Enjoy the moment. Yeah. Right? My turn. I would hug her. And I would say, you're beautiful. And be easy on yourself. and yes, all of your dreams

plus more are going to come true and you're going to marry Spy Kids The whole Spike Kids It's all of Spike Kids Because I just like kids It's all of them I marry them But I just never thought any I never thought that I would make money off of music

I never thought people would take me seriously or that I would be a songwriter at the least I was like I would love to be a songwriter in the industry and behind the scenes do anything with music and I got to do that and then be the face of my music and tour and be a superstar and like accomplish so many things and do acting and you know make babies that's like all I've ever wanted and make babies make money and make babies make money with my husbands my kids all of them every single one of those kids was a spy how did they do that they wasn't ahead of academy

I'm just waiting to wake up I hope I never wake up you know yeah thank you guys Beautiful. That was good. Yeah, thank you both for coming on. This is my dreams. I'm dying right now. Now, let's get down to making a TikTok. Oh, yeah!

Today's listener submitted real-life middle school story is about one person's experience with colorism. It's called Complex. I went to middle school in Brooklyn, and when I was in eighth grade, I had a crush on this really popular kid because I'm original. and we were really cool as friends. But one day, a friend of mine convinced me to confess my feelings because it was our last year there, so I did it. I worked with the courage and admitted to him. I like you.

He looked at me and he said, I think you're pretty cool and everything, but if you were lighter, I would like you. Here's a plot twist. We are the same complexion. That was the first crush I've ever had, and the only one I've confessed to. I'm a freshman in college now.

And I recently learned this new guy's girlfriend, her complexion, is the same as mine. Same as his. I mean, we're all, it's the same. You can follow Megan Trainer at Megan Trainer. You can follow Ryan Trainer at Ryan. And you can keep up with her podcast at Working on It Pod. Pod Crush is hosted by Penn Baddly, Navacavlin, and Sophie Ansari.

Our executive producer is Nora Ritchie from Stitcher. Our lead producer, editor, and composer is David Ansari. Our secondary editor is Sharf and Twistle. This podcast is a 9th mode of production. Be sure to subscribe to Podcrush. You can find us on Stitcher, the Serious XM app, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. If you'd like to submit a middle school story, go to podcrush.com and give us every detail. And while you're online, be sure to follow us on socials.

It's at Podcrush, spelled how it sounds. And our personals are at Pembadjley, at NAVA, that's NAVA with three ends, and at Scribble by Sophie. And we're out. See you next week. Did you hear me? Did I make sense? Huh? He's smart, man.

Did I sound good? I know a smart guy. He's smart man. He scares me. No, you made sense. I'm not to like... You did great, Megan. He's got big words coming out.

I'm like... Penn? I know. I feel the same. I could feel it. You could tell he reads three books a night. Stitcher.