Podcrushed - Nina Dobrev

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

**This episode of Podcrushed was recorded prior to the SAG-AFTRA strike.** Nina Dobrev (Vampire Diaries) stops by the pod to share recollections from her early adolescence, including her time as a substitute on the national Canadian gymnastics team, navigating Canadian culture under a strict Bulgarian upbringing, and recognizing how recreating family-seeking patterns in romantic relationships was preventing her from finding real love. Follow Podcrushed on socials! InstagramTwitterTikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada Today's episode of Podcrushed was recorded weeks prior to the Sagstrike. Nina Dobrev is an actor. I am an actor. We stand in solidarity with our union and our fellow actors and with the Writers Guild. We mention a few projects. Not in promotion. We're not promoting them.

We're reflecting. So anything that you hear is in. is to be taken in that context. There's artistic gymnastics, which is like a group sort of like synchronized gymnastics with those same things. And so I was like a substitute

on the Canadian National. What? That's pretty serious, Nina. You made it seem like it was just nothing. Right, but as a substitute. That's like, emphasize the word substitute. Welcome to Podcrushed. We're hosts. I'm Penn.

I'm Nava. And I'm Sophie. And I think we would have been your middle school besties flinging tampons at the wall. Ah, I'm glad I wasn't the only one. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Pod Crushed. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Hello. So I have been having a lot of trouble getting dressed in the mornings.

Why? I'm worried. What happened? There's a lot of factors. One of them is my growing bump. I'm pregnant. Where? Oh, that's right. Yes.

Oh, my God, congratulations. But along with that, this studio can be quite cold. Sometimes it's quite warm. It's hard to gauge, right? That's not our vibe. And this morning, I was having a lot of trouble. I put on a sweater that I just felt really comfy in, you know? And then I'm getting ready for the interview. My mom FaceTime's me. We're chatting.

She's like, who are you interviewing? And I said, oh, Nina Dobra, you probably don't know her just because my mom is in her 60s, right? And my mom's like, oh, no, I know her. And I was like, okay. And she said, well, what are you wearing? And I was like, this. And she said, oh, no, no. No, no, no, no.

I love Helen. And I just said, I can't. And I hung up on her. I can't handle this right now. Then I went out to David and I told him the story and he's like, I do kind of think you should change. It's like, great. So I changed out of the sweater. And that's what you chose.

Yes. My options are limited people. It's the belly. That's, you know, I have to say that for a moment today, I was running late because I was looking for my wallet, blah, blah, blah, and I was like, should I just not even bother wearing makeup? Because it's Nina Dobre. Like, who looks good? Like, I'm going to look like trash anyway next to her, but then I was like, well, let's give myself like a tiny, like a tiny little bit of help. Just a little confidence quiz. I don't look like a zombie next to Nina, but wow. Anyway, my mom is going to be watching this episode carefully. Does your mom watch? No. Yeah. But she will watch this one. So you already know who it is. Outside of film and TV,

Nina uses her presence to support causes like education, animal rights, and environmental sustainability. We love to have it on. We think you love listening. So don't you go anywhere. Does anyone else ever get that nagging feeling that their dog might be bored?

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What makes life meaningful? My name is Elise Loonen, and I'm the author of Oner Best Behavior and the host of the podcast, Pulling the Thread. I'm pulling the thread. I explore life's big questions with thought leaders who help us better. understand ourselves, others, and the world around us. I hope these conversations bring you moments of resonance, hope, and growth. Listen to pulling the thread from Lemonada Media wherever you get your podcasts. Have you guys met before, by the way?

We must have. I can't remember what it would have been. You know, I have this, like, horrible disease where, like... Where you're famous? And you, like, I know you're famous, so I know your work. I've watched you. Like, I've seen your... Yeah.

So, like, and then I've seen you probably at events, but not talk to you. Right. So it's one of those things where I'm like, I don't know if we actually did the hello, nice to meet you thing. Were your shows on at the same time, Vampire Darius? Yeah. At some point, they definitely overlap. So I have a very core memory of, you know, my first season on Vampire Darius, which was your guys' second season on Gossip Girl. Oh, it was that early.

Yeah. And it was my first upfronts, and I'm, like, shipped in from Canada. I've never done an upfronts. So upfronts for people who don't know, which is going to be most people, I think. Yeah. It's like, I don't even know that it's that much of a thing anymore because of streaming, but... I think it is still. Yeah, there must be, because the world is run by advertisers and where they want to spend their money.

But basically, you go to, like, a Madison Square Garden or something like that is a giant, giant, giant place. And all the people from all the shows on that, on the network, because networks are not as much of a thing now. But, you know, you go, you go up on stage, and they show like a preview of your show. And then it's just like you're there for the advertise... people who are going to potentially buy time on your show, like for commercials. So that was a very boring explanation that I wish we could cut out. Is there like a panel? Are they asking you questions? Not really. It's really weird.

The thing about it that is so distinct is that you have never felt more like a product in your life, you know, and you're just, and whatever, you know, you're trying to just get through it. Anyway, so you are at upfronts, second season of Gossip Girl, first season of yours. Correct. And there's like a green room in the back. And I don't remember, I'm sure you were there. I'm sure, like, everybody was there. Like, our whole cast was there. So I would have been, ha! No, that's not true, just for the record.

And we were all, like, shoved in this green room waiting to go on stage together. And I just remember being like, this is a lot. This is a lot. And this is so crazy. And, like, what's happening? Where am I? So, yeah, so we didn't cross past too much, but that one time. Yeah.

We were probably in the same room. But I don't think we talked to each other. Yeah. Well, for good reason, thank you for coming. Thanks for having me. So let's just jump back a little bit further. It sounds like you moved back to Bulgaria when you were 10. Is that right?

Correct. And then a few years later, you came back to America. Correct. So that means by about middle school, you had just been back, like, do we call this home? Did it feel like home, Bulgaria? Yeah. I feel like both were home in different ways. Okay.

Yeah, those are the formative years. So I was born in Bulgaria, and then we immigrated to Canada when I was two. So at the time, I wouldn't have called it home in Bulgaria because I didn't really remember anything. But then when we went back when I was about 10 until I was 12, I was, you know, yeah, those are very, like I was very aware of those years. And it was very strange, fun, because it was like a new adventure, but also looking back. I now see how strange it must have been for my, you know, formative years to have gone through that. What was it like to return to Canada? So, you know, I spoke Bulgarian at home.

My parents didn't let us speak English in the house. Wow. But then when I got to Bulgaria, I didn't. I realized that, like, it was very broken compared to everyone else. And because of the fact that, like, the European education system is just far ahead. They bumped me back two years So I was going to school with kids Two years younger than me

Which was really obviously awkward and uncomfortable But they were sweet and like it was fine But then after school I would have to go to tutoring To like try to catch up So I definitely felt really stupid To me that sounds That sounds really demoralizing and like frustrating Yeah hard because it's like

This is not your first language in it anymore Yeah, you know? And I mean, that's, so that I feel like, that feels like it would be very, yeah, just like emotional. Yeah, it didn't feel great at the time. I remember feeling sort of less than compared to everyone. But then, I mean, I had the support. It's not like people were mean, as far as I can remember, unless they were so mean that I blocked it out and I'm actually traumatized by it. I don't know. What's the difference? Yeah. Still have some therapy to do there, so we'll report back. But, you know, the we're weirder part or the, maybe it balanced out, because when I, to answer your original question, when I did eventually go back to Canada, everything I had learned, now I was suddenly ahead compared to my peers in Canada. Right.

minus the language part, but in terms of, like, what, math they were doing and, like, all the subjects, like, they were doing, like, multiplication and, and division and all these, like, crazy things in, like, kindergarten and first grade there. So, yeah, so when I came back, I actually advanced, and so it, then I was all of a sudden got my, like, confidence boost back up, you know? Right in time. Right in time for junior high. But I sort of forgot English a little bit. Like, English was awkward for me because I hadn't practiced in so long. So then I just not relearn English, but sort of, you know, kind of get used to it again and get used to seeing all my friends again.

And, you know, it had been two years since I'd seen them. So, I mean, that actually sounds like it was just many years of feeling a bit destabilized. For sure. But, you know, everything has a positive and a negative. like it was definitely destabilizing looking back on it but at the same time I think in the moment it was a fun adventure like I mentioned before it was going to a new place and meeting new people and my mom is very like you know

she's she's an artist so she's very what's what's what I'm looking for she's just spontaneous and up for whatever and so she's sort of instilled that in me and we'd go camping and do this and that and like everything was on a whim And when you're in Europe, you can just go to other countries because they're a couple hours away by car. And so we were just constantly moving around. And so I think that has permeated and affected

and sort of bled into the rest of my life. Like I almost feel uncomfortable sitting still for too long and being in one city for more than a week or two. Right. When Nina first got into the studio, I don't know if you guys heard it, but we were talking about New York City where we live and I asked you

have you ever lived here and you had an interesting way of responding which is like sort of and so I am now hearing the kind of background of like how mobile you've been and how you can feel like you're in many places yeah for sure so also what I think maybe people do not know about you

I didn't know about this until doing our research you were very serious into gymnastics, is that correct? Yeah, but not... The internet sometimes magnified things. No, for sure, it does. Always. But also, I mean, I loved it.

It was rhythmic gymnastics, just to be specific, because a lot of people, when they think of gymnastics, think of the Olympics and, you know, Gabby Douglas and, you know, all that. I didn't do that kind of gymnastics. I had, like, a ribbon and a hoop. Okay. And the...

And rhythmic specifically is that, but then also there's artistic gymnastics which is like a group sort of like synchronized gymnastics with those same things and so I was like a substitute on the Canadian National That's pretty serious

and you made it seem like it was just nothing Right but as a substitute Let's like emphasize the word substitute I think I competed a few times But not like I wasn't like The Girl like I wasn't going to the Olympic I started kind of late was there the possibility of olympics

not for me really no but for that team that was something that's yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah for sure two of the girls on the team because there was like 10 of us 12 of us and I think the it's been this we're really going back in time I should have done my own research from my own history

I don't remember how many women girls I guess were on at the same time I think it's between six and ten maybe or doing like a choreograph routine and then there was a couple substitutes but maybe you should fact-check that for me

I don't think anybody's going to hold you to it Yeah, don't worry The rhythmic and aesthetic gymnastics That's true, that's true I shouldn't put them down Now it's on me Now it's on me But yeah so

Two of the girls were like did go to the Olympics For just rhythmic as individual athletes and I think she played I mean I don't remember what she place but um she's yeah she she she went pretty far but you didn't feel that kind of pressure i guess i'm trying to understand you know trying to i it seemed like maybe it was part of you know just like the the makeup of your environment and like where you were coming from in or early in life like the because you know if you were seriously contending there that's a huge that's like a high stakes kind

of high pressure thing but it sounds like maybe you weren't you were you were almost there I mean, I think it was a hobby at first, but I got pretty good, pretty fast, and they were like, huh, this girl's like actually, like, they didn't, I sort of like came out of nowhere for them because I started at, I think I was like eight or nine, maybe 10, no, I was probably nine. And for the gymnastics world, that's like you're, you're on your death bet, like. It's so wild. You know what I mean? Like, they started like four, maybe. So nobody, like, really considered that I would do anything with it. And then I sort of worked my way up and they were like, oh, you're good enough to be substituted.

Like, maybe if somebody dies, like, you can come in. And so, yeah, it was really fun and I loved it. But I think, especially as I hit puberty and, like, I had, like, it was a little bit more big chested compared to the other girls. And it quickly was like, this isn't going to be a long-term thing. Plus, the expiration date for that world is, like, 18. Very, yeah. What was the transition into discovering your sort of talent in other performing arts areas like acting? Yeah, I mean, I think that was sort of the start of it.

I was also a very high-energy child, and my parents were just kind of trying to shove me into whatever they could to sort of give themselves a break. Yeah. But from there, from the gymnastics and the dancing, I realized that I liked doing that. So then I wanted to go to a performing arts high school. So I auditioned for the Performing Arts High School in my area, which was called Wexford Collegiate. I got in there and then, you know, gravitated more towards theater and dance. I can sing a little but not really that well and not like Broadway-esque singing. And so, yeah, from there it just sort of kind of happened.

We had like a guest speaker come to the school for the drama class for the seniors and, or not the seniors, just for like the drama class. And he was an on-camera acting coach that did like a little seminar thing with us. And then from there, I don't remember if I approached him after the class or he approached me, but I started taking classes with him afterwards. And then he introduced me to my agent and I started doing auditions. And that's kind of how I remember being secretive about it though, because my parents were really strict. and they didn't like we lived in the suburbs of Toronto and oh god I just sounded so foreign Toronto I was in the suburbs of Toronto I've been away from home for too long Toronto

and so yeah we you know they didn't they're immigrants like they didn't I don't have like any ties to the industry from my family so they didn't really understand it they didn't think it was serious it was more of just like a yeah let or do it like whatever thing um but then they started noticing that i'd be at home like running my lines for auditions instead of doing my homework yeah so then they imposed this rule that i'd have to read a book every week and every week i'd have to submit a book report to my parents wow and if i did that then i was allowed to audition the following week but if i didn't then i had to like cancel all my auditions that's great yeah that's Every home, whatever it is shaped like for a child actor should be that way.

Right. Yeah. Wow. It was your first role that you got in Degrassi? Because I saw your audition for that and it involved a lot of gymnastics. Like you had to do the splits. You did a backhand spring maybe. Yeah.

It was one of the first ones for sure. But it was also I think I first auditioned for a different character, if I remember correct, again, I might have early onset Alzheimer's. I don't know. It's a hard time to remember for a lot of years. Yeah, also traumatizing. So like I said earlier, probably blocking a lot out. We're here to unlock it.

I should have scheduled the therapy session after this. But yeah, I think I had for a different role and I didn't, or maybe it would have been I don't remember, but it was something, they were like, we're going to maybe bring you in for something else, like create a character. Like, they liked me, but I didn't really fit for whatever it was. So then maybe that's when I did that role. They wrote in the gymnastics because they knew I could do gymnastics. I don't remember if that was part of it.

I could also be making all of this up. At least some of it's true. Something must be true. There must be a nugget in there of truth. Nina, I heard you say in another interview that you kind of had this feeling of being othered as a kid. Your family life didn't look so much like the family lives of the people

around you in Toronto. And I wonder how that feeling has evolved for you over time. Do you still feel that way or have you kind of found confidence in your own skin? 100%. I feel much differently now than I did then.

And it's so funny to look back, especially because Toronto is such a multicultural city and everyone is from somewhere else and no one, like there is no real, I guess there is like the white Canadian norm, but for the most part, like every, a lot of, there's a lot of transplants. And so it's funny to me that I felt that way, but I definitely felt it. Like we, it's the cultural part of it that, you know, my parents didn't speak English and also the fact that I don't want to say that we were struggling

because every time I say that in an interview, my mom then later yells at me. She's like, we were fine. You're a little brat. But I think it was just comparing. So we were fine, Mom. Yeah, we were fine. But, you know, I guess I was comparing myself to my peers. And so some of the circle that I ran and, you know, they had new clothes and, you know, they're, it just, we would shop at places where it would be like secondhand clothes or I remember my first thing that I was like,

one day I really just want to have like a full closet of just like clothes that are that no one's worn before was my goal as a kid like I remember being like and now it's so funny because all I want is to wear a vintage clothing thrifting is even really popular with like my 14 year old they all love to thrift yeah they say it actually in a way that it's clearly very cool because I don't think it was when I was that age no I don't think it was either for me at least or at least that's how I perceived it like so much of it is in your own head and and um but i definitely i definitely wanted to fit in with like all the other girls and like shop at all these stores that were like very american i wanted everything to be american or canadian and like very you know i just wanted

to fit in and i just always felt like i didn't and we'll be right back all right so um let's just let's just real talk as they say for a second That's a little bit of an aged thing to say now. That dates me, doesn't it? But no, real talk. How important is your health to you? You know, on like a one to ten? And I don't mean in the sense of vanity.

I mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well, right? You want to be less stressed. You don't want it as sick. When you have responsibilities, I know myself. I'm a householder. I have two children and two more on the way. A spouse, a pet. You know, a job that sometimes has its demand.

So I really want to feel like when I'm not getting the sleep and I'm not getting nutrition, when my eating's down, I want to know that I'm being held down some other way physically. You know, my family holds me down emotionally, spiritually, but I need something to hold me down physically, right? And so honestly, I turned to symbiotica, these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious.

And I'm telling you, even before I started doing ads for these guys, it was a product that I really, really liked, and enjoyed and could see the differences with um the three that i use i use i use uh the the what is it called liposomal vitamin c and it tastes delicious like really really good um comes out in the packet you put it right in your mouth some people don't do that i do it i think it tastes great i use the liposomal uh glutathione as well in the morning um really good for gut health and although i don't need it you know anti-aging um and then i also use the magnesium l3 and eight which is really good for for, I think, mood and stress.

I sometimes use it in the morning, sometimes use it at night. All three of these things taste incredible. Honestly, you don't even need to mix it with water. And, yeah, I just couldn't recommend them highly enough. Do you want to try them out? Go to symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. That's symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. The first few weeks of school are in the books, and now's the time to keep that momentum going.

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So I always feel like when someone's very beautiful. Just put it on a pedestal and let's get on with the interview. I'll be here. She's like cast for, you know. On the ground. Your character in Van By your daughter is like famously beautiful. But so I always imagine that like when someone's, you know, that way that everyone wants to be around you is sort of was that not your experience. Because people like to be around attractive people.

Like, that's just a thing. You know, there's like pretty privilege and all that. So. Oh, I've never heard of that one. That's a new one for me. Yeah. Pretty privilege. I mean, I get it.

It makes sense. I've never heard that term. I don't know. I mean, look, there's, being beautiful is objective. And I don't think, I think you need to feel pretty to also. I don't know. I just didn't feel pretty for a really long time. And we're also, speaking of formative teenage years,

like, we're not talking about the fact that, like, I had a unibrow. So let's talk about it, then. Let's talk about it. I had a fucking unibrow. Am I just where? How long did you have a unibrow for? At what point to be able to be able to that? Definitely, like, grade 6th graduation was rocking the unibrow.

Because I've seen the photos still have. Yeah. But not, like, at that point, I just didn't know. Yeah. You know, like, once I was made a way. Then they went like invisible. Then I overplucked them to a degree where like you couldn't see them anymore. We thought they'd never come back.

Yeah. And I had like a chubby phase. I had like my teeth were really messed up. So I wore braces for two years with the elastic things that connect the top to the bottom. Like I didn't feel beautiful. Yeah. Like there was nothing. Like I definitely like grew into my confidence and learned how to.

You know, also I had really curly, frizzy hair. And so some of my girlfriends would come over, once we started to, like, care about how he looks. My girlfriends would come over in the mornings, and we would take the clothing iron and a towel on the counter and, like, iron our hair. Oh, wow. With the clothing iron, but it was awkward because, like, you can only go so far. There's a line. Somebody's getting burnt, burning their face as well. Then anybody ever burned themselves?

I don't think anyone luckily burnt their faces, maybe our arms. but there was like a distinct line like it would be like frizzy up until here and then stick straight to the bottom. I hope you have a picture of this somewhere, Nina. It sounds amazing. I'm sure. I'm sure I do. But we thought our parents didn't know what we were doing

that we'd like all come out with like perfectly straight hair. We thought we were being so subtle about it. But anyway, yeah, so I definitely grew into understanding how to take care of myself and how I wanted to look and feel. and yeah I mean I definitely I'm not saying I was like a loser and had no friends in school like I definitely had friends and and bopped around different friend groups but yeah does that answer your question I don't know yeah and then obviously with the show like once the show came out you're being styled by wardrobe designers and you get a stylist and you do all these things

And as I've grown up, I've probably, look, I'm in my 30s now. So, yeah, now I probably feel the most beautiful that I've ever felt because I feel most confident. I know who I am or I'm trying to, I'm getting closer to knowing who I am. Yeah, always getting closer. Yeah. And, yeah, so it's just, it's a work in progress for sure. Nina, we have a couple questions. We always ask everyone about middle school.

we'll talk about your career. I'll just, I'll combine them. Do you remember your first love or crush and heartbreak? And do you have an embarrassing story from those years you could share with us? Okay. First, people don't name names, right? Actually, every time people do name names, I'm like, whoa. Actually, I would say it's almost 50, 50.

Yeah. Wow, that's a lot. And when they do, they name first and last. Yeah. Sometimes middle. It's like, bang, bang. Well, you kind of don't forget your furs. Yeah, that's true.

I don't, now I'm insecure. No pressure, no pressure, whatever you want to do, you know. I don't think I should say a name for his sake. But, yeah, starts with an E and ends with the D. And what does it rhyme with? Is it Ed? No. That would be really funny.

No, it's not. It's Ed Harris, actually, no. yeah so so yeah I think I was 14 probably I mean I had a lot of like I think I'm in love with that but it wasn't reciprocated

kind of people before I love I have to say I just love that like it's so many it tends to be women who are in touch who are still so I mean Nav and so if you're great examples you are still so in touch with this

that spirit because like you You all kind of tend to do this really funny thing which is like, I'm so in love. And that is what it is. That's the feeling, but you just never see men say that at all. Like at all. They don't, at all. And so I'm just appreciating that for a moment.

So sorry. So go on, go on. There was this boy in high, it was high school. I was in the ninth grade, which in the States, you guys call that freshman. Yeah. Yeah. I was my freshman year. freshman year

and he was like a skater boy and see you later boy see you later boy yeah exactly and it was the first time I think it was like mutual

we were both really into each other and he like smoked weed he was super edgy and like and I do I have noticed like looking back like I did have like a very all-American Like my type is like

We were talking about like the all-American thing Because it's so different than what I am He was like very all-American looking I don't remember I think he played lacrosse Wow Yep Yeah very you know

Yeah that's a cool one Like every jock movie And yeah we dated for I think a year I'm not mistaken He's who I lost my virginity too Oh big Big love

Yes Yes, yes. And then, you know, when it ended, it was the end of the world, as you all remember, I'm sure. Yeah. And now I'm fine. I'm sure he's fine. But, yeah, at the time, it was like the end, yeah, the end of the world. It was like, I can't believe it.

I don't know what I'm going to do. Like, life's over. But, yeah, I just remember, what was that song? Help me out here. Do you guys remember Gray's Anatomy, that one song? The chasing cars? Yes, that was so fast. That's the iconic Grey's Anatomy song.

Yeah. So I think that song was like popular because of Grey's Anatomy. You're going to have to, that's, that's three notes. I've been rewatching Grace Anatomy actually just recently. It's so funny. We'll do it all that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that one. Yeah.

So that one had just come out, and I don't even know if it relates. to the moment, but it was like a sad-ish song. And I was in the car and just like crying so hard just like listening to the song over and over again. Pretty dangerous now looking back. Should have probably pulled over. You couldn't see.

Yeah. That's really sweet, Nina. Yeah. And then an embarrassing story? I think that covers... Is that not embarrassing enough? We have some people who like slipped in public but if you don't have one, you don't have one. Did you ever slip in public? It's like all I do.

I'm so clumsy. My friends, like I should be bubble-wrapped, is the truth of the matter. Yeah, I get hurt all the time. Walking is challenging for me in any kind of shoe. And then I just, I've noticed that, like, I get so into whatever conversation I'm having when I'm walking on the street talking to someone. I just, the rest of the world is gone. Is that happening right now?

Might be. And we're lucky that we're sitting. Like, this is actually a very thing. It's a very safe environment for me to be having a very intense conversation with. But, yeah, no, I've run into poles and inanimate objects. Oh, that's great. I like that. I mean, I'm sorry.

I mean, it's just, yeah, it's unexpected. That's very relatable. And I have weak ankles, so high heels and me do not mesh very well. Oh, actually, I have a lot. We could just talk for the next hour just about my embarrassing stories. Go. So my shoulders dislocate pretty frequently. Same.

It started in the gymnastics days. Oh, geez. Yeah. That's kind of why I had to stop. You should get like workman's comp from that or something. I mean, it just feels like, I can imagine there's a lot of former gymnasts who have that, right? Yeah, well, I'm also like a double extend. Oh, okay.

I'm very bendy. And then on top of that, like, I want to not think of you of wood here. I've never broken a bone aside from my baby toe Me too Twice I have it right now Oh no

Yeah it's okay right now It's okay No it's the only one I know That's so happy for you're okay Yeah But it's weird because I do crazy stupid shit all the time And I should have a lot more

broken things I forgot to knock But yeah no Just the baby broken toe Other than that Everything like just bends and like my my ligaments are destroyed but like other than that um my shoulders constant so they and they dislocated the most inconvenient times like i'll be it's happened i can't tell

you how many time snowboarding but it just pops off in the middle of like when i fall it like shoulders out and i have to get somebody to put it back in um when i was doing oh my god it's so painful it's so painful it i i I've, of course, heard of this before, but the way you're describing it, I imagine, like, an action figure whose arm just falls off. Yeah. Like, the way you're describing it, it's just, like, pop. Exactly.

And then it's, like, it's really out, and it... It's out, and it just hangs there. And the only way to do it, like, you can only do it yourself. Like, someone else can't... Right? No, no, you actually can't do it yourself. Somebody else has to do it for you. I mean, actually, no, I think you can, like,

walk into a wall and, like, put it back in. Oh, my God. But something has to, like... So usually what they do is, like, if Sean or whoever's... physically next to me, has to pull on my arm so that it comes out and then it realign it. It realigns, yeah. The people that are watching on video

will see the visual of that. But it happened right before I was about to go on air with Conan O'Brien. Is this the one where you did the whole backbendie thing? Because I think you were on more than once. Yeah, been on more than one. It was the, we did like a fight sequence like an action movie

fight sequence on air live. Oh wow. That's crazy. And that sounds fun. While preparing and like practicing backstage, my shoulder fell out while I was like throwing a punch or something. I was like, ugh. Yeah. That's really charming.

I mean, it's charming in the retelling. Yeah. Yeah, and not in the moment. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, it's okay. That's something I live with every day. And it's fine. It's part of my life.

Nina, I think we're going to move into talking about your career and we have to bring up vampire diaries. Ironic. I watched it as a teenager. I loved it. Watched it. Thank you. You played two characters.

Three, right? Four, technically. Four characters? Two main ones and then four overall, yeah. Wow. What was that like? That must have been a challenge. How do you feel it affected your growth as an actor?

It was, I'd say it affected my growth as a human, too, because like I said, I was slowly, like, gaining my confidence. And when I got the show, I was Elena and, you know, then when the, the, introduced Catherine who was like all of a sudden more like you know digging deeper into like my sexuality and like who I am as a person because like Catherine was so sexual and I can't say I have a lot to relate to with Amara and the other one but because they were like back in the olden days but um but yeah no it uh it was it was definitely challenging just from like a work perspective from like hours like I mean Penn, you know, the hours on any TV show or movie,

but especially, like, you guys shoot a lot at night for you, no? Not as much as you would think the first season we did. Okay. With Marcus Seaga. Oh, yeah, yeah. He did vampire. Oh, that's, I remember.

You know what, he has, he told me some, not crazy stories or anything, but I'm remembering that now, yes. Yeah. So he, you know, especially in the first season, the second season, like the hours are so long. And usually when you're in a show, you have scenes off and breaks.

And when you're playing two characters in the same scene talking to each other, there's no breaks. So it was like physically very demanding. But also kind of, you know, the dream as an actor to get to play many things is like a creative standpoint. It was really interesting. I learned so, so, so much. I learned so, so much. I call it like actor boot camp. Did you have any little rituals or anything you did to sort of like switch between them?

Because I do, I'm not saying this to just like compliment you, but I remember when I would watch it thinking that you were better than most actors at playing two different parts. Like usually when actress play two parts, I think it's the same person. But with you, I was like, I would forget that you were the same actress. Like I would really think of them as different people. Yeah. Oh, cool. They were very different.

For me, it was like a very physical thing. Like I needed the hair to look different and the makeup and the, up and the way I walked and like once I would transition into that as they were like putting that all on me I could like that was the one little break and be like 45 minutes where they'd switch me over and it kind of gave me the time to sort of and it was weird I'm not a method person at all I think but in that moment when I was doing that I think I had tendencies unintentionally because I would notice that I'd like when they'd call cut and I'd be talking to the crew or some of my friends, I would start to like say like, you know, cheekier things and just be a little

bit more of like, you know, like I just talk different. And I unintentionally just like stayed in that. But yeah, it's weird. It's hard. I don't know. I think I needed to do that in that specific instance. But, but yeah. Yeah, it's cool. How has your understanding of love evolved over the years. Is there anything you can tell us about love and what you've learned about it? Yeah. So much. We've all... Tell us about love.

You know, I mean, I think it's funny because I started going to therapy later than my peers. And so I feel like I'm learning a lot about love in the last, probably since right before COVID or like COVID, because I finally had to be, like, was forced to be in one place by myself and with my thoughts. Right, right. And lo and behold, they were a lot. So I had to see, I was like, I need to talk to somebody. This is a lot. I don't know what to do with myself.

Like, I'm going crazy. And, you know, I've, like, like, I've, like, anyone from that first love that I was telling. you about to where I am today. I mean, the first word that comes to mind is just healthier. And, like, I remember, it's so interesting. My therapist is talking about, like, comparing, everyone focuses so much on the familial relationships, obviously, with, like, your parents and, like, oh, you'll marry your father or your mother someday. I've never heard that before. Yeah, I'm sure you've never heard that. Yeah, huh? But what was, like, especially poignant for me was that like nobody had talked to me yet about like my my sibling relationships and then when

I tracked back at the kinds of people that I was dating like I really was sort of like the characteristics of my brother were more prevalent and the partners that I was attracted to that maybe wasn't necessarily that healthy because like my brother's five years older than me aka like way cooler than me and wants nothing to do with me when you're a kid and so and my parents always like forced him to hang out with me and he wouldn't want to so like my idea of love for a long time. There's a man who doesn't want to be around. Basically, yeah.

I'd be like attracted to people that wanted nothing to do with me. And so, I mean, obviously, that's like a blanket statement. That's not all the men that I've been with. And so I don't want this, like, speaking of clickbait, let it be clear. I don't want people out there. All you journalists listening, don't start, like, singling out individuals because that's not. But, you know, it's happened in the past. I'm just going to do what they're going to do

I can't control them I'm kidding I'm kidding so yeah so like over the years I just I feel like

healthier relationships are is what I've learned to like gravitate towards and and yeah

you never wanted unhealthy relationships though so no I wasn't intentional yeah so what helped you I feel like

I'm still learning a lot about how to attract and be attracted to health in relationships. What have you, what has helped you to be healthier or to like be attracted to a healthy relationship? Like sincerely, I would love to know. I mean, just honestly, focusing on me. That's such a stereotypical thing to say, but like not being so like trying to, like, it goes back to like the fitting in, like trying to be the perfect person for someone else instead of trying to be the perfect person for myself and then the perfect person, not that there is a perfect person, but the right person will, you'll be attracted

to that kind of person because you're being your most authentic self. And I think I've had moments of that throughout the years where I've like been that naturally, but then you obviously lose your way or you repeat patterns or you end up being attracted to the kind of guys that are like your brother who wanted nothing to do with you. And so you chase instead of being chased. And so yeah, I think once I had that like conscious decision to sort of like do me, yeah, I found that I attracted the right kind of energy. Nina, we had an intern shout out to Faki who put together a lot of this research and he wrote a really funny note, but he was convinced that Sean and your mom are best friends.

So I just want to know on behalf of Tafaki, weigh in. Are Sean and your mom best friends? They really do love each other. That's so sweet. It's so cute. It's like My mom is She's

It's so hard to describe Unless you've met her But she's just like a ray of sunshine She sounds amazing She's so positive Yeah She's like an artist And she's just

She lives in France She started this company Where like people go to France Or Italy with her To paint and drink wine And eat cheese For 10 day vacations I call it like adult summer camp

Or I call it like Spring Break for adults Or old people to be able to take 10 days off, have the means and the money to do that and then also have an interest in painting.

And a tolerance for lactose. Exactly. Exactly. That's funny. Yeah, and so, although no, in Europe, you can kind of eat cheese even though. That's true, it's not, why is everything better there?

Everything's so much better there. Can we do this podcast? If I ever come back, can we do it in in France in Italy. Sure. It's part of Nina's writer. Hey,

serious, can we move the thing to Italy? Sure thing, Ben, we've got nothing but money that we're handing out to everybody.

They won't even give you anything about peanuts. I know, they don't even have fucking bananas here. There's not a, they weren't a banana

desert. They don't even have them at CVS anymore. Oh, yeah. What were we talking about? I don't remember. Your mom.

Your mom. mom and Sean. Yes. Yeah, so, like, we went to visit my mom in France, and he got a taste of her little, like, slice of life, which was so, I mean, it's so simple, but it's so, like, great. Yeah. He just bikes around everywhere and paints and, like, eats food, and, I don't know. It's just, like, very picturesque.

She lives in this, like, beautiful medieval town. And so... Everything. Literally, there's not one thing I've heard about your mom that doesn't make me go... That doesn't make me lean in. In all of our research, which is, again, Tofaki's research, I just want that to be clear. Anytime I say that I've researched anything,

it's on a document. Well, I did listen to, not I didn't get to finish it, but I did listen to your episode that you did with your brother on sibling revelry. And I think it was your brother that mentioned that your mom used to be, and she still maybe does a little bit of it on the side, she used to restore paintings that had been ruined

like in like fires or where does it end yeah that's so cool that's cool if we're being honest that's kind of how it started wow that's like that's like her first love is like she was obsessed with like you know when you go into a church and it's like a century old church and everything yeah a lot of americans don't actually no maybe americans don't i only until recently yeah but in europe there's like these incredibly old beautiful churches and so somebody over the years has to go in and like fix them or they're extremely destroyed and so that you have to like create it. So she studied, um, art restoration and got her master's degree. And so she's the person who like goes in. It's amazing. Obviously like that doesn't pay a lot of money. So

she had to like pivot at a certain point. But yeah, on the side every now and then if there's something that comes up, she can do it. But it's not her full time anymore. Yeah. Stick around. We'll be right back. Fall is in full swing, and it's the perfect time to refresh your wardrobe with pieces that feel as good as they look. Luckily, Quince makes it easy to look polished, stay warm, and save big, without compromising on quality. Quince has all the elevated essentials for fall. Think 100% Mongolian cashmere from $50. That's right, $50, washable silk tops and skirts, and perfectly tailored denim, all at prices that feel too. good to be true. I am currently eyeing their silk miniskirt. I have been dying for a silk

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But I've noticed that you do kind of clap back sometimes When people make comments I don't know if clapback's the right word It seems like actually you reframe the comment Like you do it in a positive way No but she doesn't She does it in a way that's actually very like You reframe the comment

I think it's really cool And I was just curious why do you do that Like why do you have any examples We do have examples if I can Yeah I'm gonna give you an example Someone here commented about your body. I didn't see their comment, but you said,

thank you for your concern. I'm sorry to hear you weren't doing well. I hope that you're taking care of yourself and doing better now. I'll also let you know that I do eat burgers and fries and all kinds of yummy things all the time. You should do the same. Eating everything and working out, which I do, is the healthy solution for people who have problems.

Body shaming people, on the other hand, is not healthy and very rude. I don't do that, so you should also do the same. Have a wonderful day. Yes. See, the same dignity I saw in the patient thief? No, no. I want to read one more because I thought it was really well said. You said to the person, it's a radical concept called time.

I know crazy. It's what happens when it goes by. People get older. It probably won't happen to you because you seem to be different than the rest of us. But I'm 30 and damn proud of it. Have a lovely day. Yeah. That's salty.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, look, I was probably having a bad day and was also feeling a certain way. and they just like hit on a nerve. But at the same time, so like I got upset and then I was like, wait, no, this is like, this is a thing that happens and it's going to keep happening. And I remember seeing something from like Julia Roberts,

like somebody said something mean about her aging. And I was just like, it's what happens to people. We're all, we all have the exact same outcome. Mm-hmm. Which is death. Let's just remember. Yeah. Thanks, Ben.

Just want to look around the room. Everybody in the eye is death. Yeah. You too. I don't care how old you are. You're going to die. He's looking at a baby right now, one of the staff member's babies. Yeah, and so it was just, yeah, it was just like, I don't know.

I think it was that the person said that I, that I've aged since the vampire diaries. Or like, I don't look the same as I did when I was on the vampire diaries. And I was like, yeah. That was 20 years ago, breath. Well, it was like 10 years at that point, probably. But the 10 years is still. Yeah, like when I was 20, when I started, of course. course I look different and I'm proud that I look different. I should look different and I

honestly think I look better now because I look like I'm not as skinny as I wasn't to add to the next question is like at one point there was like a she's lost too much weight or she looks too skinny or something and I was just like I'm eating I don't know just like I eat I work out I actually like love eating food it's like a big thing for me I can't eat gluten or dairy and that's frustrating but you know what sometimes I still do eat it I sometimes still go to McDonald's and have that big mac even though it'll make my stomach hurt because I'm like I just fucking feel like it yeah and I'll deal with the consequences later so yeah I wanted to politely in a very kind way because I didn't want to perpetuate the like mean talking and be

like you suck and you're like there's no that's not productive it was just like look like think about what your comments are and be aware that there is another person on the other side of this and and we're not just robots that have no feelings like it does affect us so yeah yeah i think your question often i'll see people like on tictok a lot people will comment something really negative oh there was a trend speaking of tictock there was a trend that i had like plastic surgery or something like they were like oh she like did her eyelids and like there was this like person that went on that was like a specialist that like talked about all the things i'd done to my face and i was like what?

It's so crazy. I was like, no. Absolutely not. And this other plastic surgery came on on TikTok. No, I didn't comment, but someone sent this to me. I saw this. Another plastic surgeon, this is actually like

not necessarily a great story because it's like a burden to me, but she debunked the person's theories about all the things I'd done to my face, apparently. And she was like, actually, no, she's just aging.

like the the sunken in eyelid theory is just a sign of aging gravity yeah it's not like what you guys are saying and I was like yes yeah I feel like I'll see sometimes someone will leave a negative comment and if the creator whoever they were commenting on writes back all of a sudden it's like oh my god sorry bestie didn't mean it love you yeah you're doing amazing I think they just expect that they you won't see it yeah um it we're taking a little bit of a turn here uh back to where we started okay if you could say ask do anything um your 12 year old self you could go back what would you say i think i would tell her to not to embrace her cultural differences and not be so insecure about all that and just sort of it's so hard but like just be okay with who you are

because who you are is enough and you don't have to try to be all these different things because it's not like it's just so obsessed with not like being like everyone else and fitting in and it's like now I celebrate that side of myself so much and I feel like it makes me unique I have a different perspective, and I'm so proud of who I am now. So I feel like I would just sort of maybe tell her what happens later in the future. You're like, this is what's going to happen to you. You're going to be good. Don't worry.

Just try to forget about it, though. Yeah, just don't worry about everyone else and stop looking at everyone else. Just like focus on yourself. Thank you. Thank you so much, Nina. Yeah, thank you for coming. It was a pleasure meeting all of you. Thank you so much.

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