Podcrushed - [Rerun] Leighton Meester
Episode Date: March 1, 2023Today’s episode is a rerun of our pilot! Penn invites his old pal Leighton Meester to help kick things off. They reminisce about the first project they ever worked on together (spoiler - it's not Go...ssip Girl). The gang chats about fake heart attacks, unfair beauty standards, and whether it's time for Leighton to play Timothee Chalamet's mom. Follow Podcrushed on socials:TwitterTikTokInstagramSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Lemonada
Hey there, everybody.
This is Penn.
I'm coming to you straight from my phone.
I'm recording this little ditty at home.
Would you believe it's been maybe four or five takes of something like this,
where I'm just trying to relay the very simple information
that this is a rerun of our first ever premiere episode from season one,
starring Layton Meester
That's all the content you want
I can't do this again
I really hope you like it
We'll see you soon with new episodes
We both have a mutual friend
That I went to middle school with in New York
She told me that she was new to the school
And that me and my best friend at the time
Kind of came up to her
We're like come and sit with us or whatever
And we're like, let's be friends
But we're witches
this is podcrushed the podcast that takes the sting out of rejection one crushing middle school story at a time
and where guests share their teenage memories both meaningful and mortifying and we're your hosts
I'm Nava a former middle school director I'm Sophie a former fifth grade teacher and I'm Penn
a middle school dropout we're just three beehis who are living in Brooklyn
wanting to make stuff together with a particular fondness for awkward nostalgia
Well, I struggle with nostalgia.
I'm here for the therapy.
Okay, so here's what I've got.
Here's what I've got.
Are you listening?
We're all, we're waiting with baited breath for you to do this intro, Penn.
Well, don't bait it.
All right.
Remember when Penn was like, hey, guys, we just need a half hour for this, right?
I laughed.
I wanted to put L-O-L.
Hello, thank you for tapping on your phone.
scratching at your screen
thank you for
can anybody listen to this on a computer
anyway
welcome to Pod Crushed
this is our very first episode
so to kick us off
I called on a dear old friend of mine
you know I actually forgot
how much we'd been through together
her name is Leighton Meester
you know her best
from our time sharing the screen together
in a little project called
Hellaberger
right
it's a classic called
Tor. No? No. Sorry. Oh, you're thinking about Gossip Girl?
No. Sophie here. And like the listener, I watched Gossip Girl when I was in seventh grade, right when it came out.
So doing this episode was wild for me, you guys, sitting next to Leighton Meester and Penn Badgley.
Hang on, though, you do every episode with me.
I know. I've kind of gotten used to you, but sitting next to Leighton Meester was wild for me.
She was super down to earth, though, very chill.
The subtext of saying that Leighton is down to earth is that I'm not.
he's like oh god
it was so amazing to be around late
to finally meet a down-to-earth
and it's just like she's a celebrity
but like she wasn't
first of she was early
with a go up at the end
and you are at once
very down to earth
and also like
way up in the heavens
like
in like the celestial realm
okay that's fair
we were super late to
the studio
we showed up like
maybe half an hour to 45 minutes after her
and Nava, you know, took a few wrong turns
driving us there. Just like four.
Introduce yourself, Navajo.
Hello, Navi Kavlin cannot drive.
Do not know my left from right, but I'm usually on time.
Also never late.
Well, she's what you would expect from a former middle school director.
But a middle school director who can't drive.
Yes.
We're going to start this episode how we'll start every episode
with a real life middle school story submitted by a listener
and narrated by Penn.
I'm so excited for this episode today's
story came to us by way of a young woman in Texas. And it's personally my favorite story because
I feel like it's the archetype of something that could only happen in middle school. The choices
that this young girl makes, you would only make when you are not a child, not an adult, and really
don't know what to do with yourself. The only other context in which this behavior would be justified?
At a bar? Drunkenness? The only other circumstance where this behavior would be justified is actually
in a life or death situation.
It's like actually, you know, where the stakes are so high.
I feel like this story almost seems like it was written as part of a movie.
There's like a building climax and you think you're at the climax but you're not.
It just gets worse and worse.
Which is the sign of a great climax.
Yeah.
You know, you get to fake out.
It's like a good script.
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Why do we do what we do? What makes life meaningful? My name is Elise Loonen and I'm the author
of On Our Best Behavior and the host of the podcast.
pulling the thread. I'm pulling the thread I explore life's big questions with thought leaders
who help us better understand ourselves, others, and the world around us. I hope these conversations
bring you moments of resonance, hope, and growth. Listen to pulling the thread from Lemonada Media
wherever you get your podcasts. In 2017, I set foot in a public school world for the first time
in my life. You see, up until that point, I'd been homeschooled.
uh yeah you know like eat lunch with your mom every day homeschooled what drove my parents to the decision
that eighth grade was the right time to throw me into the layer of miscreants that is middle school
i'll never know but it wasn't all bad because that was the year i met cam
cam was my first crush four months in and i had a full-blown infatuation
So one day, my friend Sarah and I were hanging out at a park in my neighborhood in Austin, Texas, when we spot Cam walking over.
Now, before we go any further, it's very important that you remember that I was homeschooled for years before these fleeting few months of eighth grade.
I had no experience with boys or crushes.
So, okay, back to Cam.
He began approaching us.
I began freaking out.
My palms were getting clammy, and my fighter.
flight instincts were kicking in so i did what any 13-year-old girl in my position would do run and hide inside a
small tunnel on the playground floor phew close one right well except he saw me cam saw me so cam started walking over
i saw him coming did i pretend i was searching for something on the ground no
Did I stand up and play it off like I meant to crawl into this tunnel?
No.
Did I do anything sane or rational?
No.
I just let him come.
Find me.
Like that.
Cam approached.
I remained crouched.
You know I can see you, right?
He glanced down at me.
I was mortified.
this was my chance to recover though right laugh it off play it cool ha ha just a little friendly hide and seek
no naturally i did no such thing instead i i stayed inside the tunnel with my head down wordless just
waiting for cam to go away he stared at me i stared at the ground he walked at the ground he walked
away. Finally, Sarah, you remember my friend Sarah, yeah, so she embarrassed for me, came over
and she dragged me out of the tunnel and marched me over to Cam, insisting that I say high
like a normal human being. But I was seized with so much fear, and see, this is where the story
really begins, that as she was pulling me over towards him, I pretended to have a heart attack
and die. Yes, that is right. I, 13 years old, preferred to collapse onto the gravel and pretend to die
rather than say hello to my crush. Cam and Sarah said nothing. They simply walked away,
leaving me to collect my thoughts. And there a few moments passed. Maybe a few minutes passed.
Maybe a star died. I don't know. I'm not sure. But I managed to regain some semblance of self-control.
myself up and I walked over to them. Oh, hey, hey, oh, Cam, hey. I didn't even know you were here.
What a coincidence. Cam, uh, he smiled and was actually pretty cool about it. I got to go play
basketball. Nice seeing you today, he said, and he ran off. I reached out to Cam about a year later to
say hi and, you know, weirdly he still remembered the whole me playing dead thing. I guess I had to learn a
classic life lesson in the most embarrassing way
possible.
While it may be romantic to die for love,
it's never cool
to play dead in front of your crush.
I know Cam.
Everybody knows Cam. Cam seems nice.
Cam was, I feel like he handled it really well.
You know, I love Cam.
I relate to that whole
thing. Do you?
Did you have? Did you have? I mean,
this is where, you know, people often
say to me, well, often
is probably an almost statement.
I think
when you're in a position such
as mine or yours, people
love to make assumptions as though
you've not experienced awkwardness
and that kind of thing. And, you know, for me
I actually was like
a painful amount of it.
Do you remember a lot of
awkwardness? Like what was
that time like?
I mean, to me, the
it is never ended.
Actually, yes, that's it right there.
I agree.
And to me, like, life itself and every social interaction and otherwise, like, every, like, work interaction, romantic interaction, friend interaction is just one endless hangover of what was I, what did I say, and, like, ruminating and, like, replaying what happened with acting as well, like, I'll replay every scene I've ever done and been like, oh, this is how I could have played it.
So it's never quite, never quite ended.
It's interesting when we were prepping for this, I was saying, like, I want to ask
Leighton if she's ever had like an awkward or embarrassing crush story, but she seems like
someone who's like so together and so elegant.
Like I can't imagine her having that experience.
That's literally what I'm elegant.
I think that's all elegant.
I do remember I had a few really good best girlfriends and there were, maybe there were
boys around they were so in the periphery of my like best girlfriends and um every like first kiss
was with a girl every like first at like showing each other talking about our bodies just all of that
it seemed very like you know sorority um and then i moved to new york and i went to a school that was
really small and i can't say that i had a crush on anyone but um i do remember playing spin the bottle
and participating
up until the point where I was going to kiss somebody
and I was like, I'm not doing that.
I wanted to spin.
And maybe there was somebody that I was like fascinated with
I wanted to kiss, but I never wanted to actually go through with it.
Wait, you wanted to spin?
Like, you just literally wanted to spin the physical bottle.
Like, you just wanted that.
I think, like, I wanted to be part of, like, the cool.
Like, I thought that it was cool that we were all together doing it.
And, like, assuming that I've blocked out a lot of this,
time and now you're forcing me to remember but like like what was middle school like i'm like
i don't know it's funny it's like i mean i don't spend much time thinking about that time and i and i
wonder why i think it was the most formative period truly and it was so it was definitely the
beginning of like realizing a lot about the adults in my life and how much i did not trust them and and
realizing a lot about like
certainly about my own body
but just sort of like also hating it
and also like it's the time where you are starting to like
maybe be attracted to people
other than you know I don't know
human other than yourself
and also yourself a lot
I'm not judging that
but then also it's like your worst time
or you're like you know do I start shaving
my legs and like wearing mascara or I don't know all the ways that like you can be insecure
suddenly start like you get zits and you're like disgusting and um and zits aren't disgusting
but just you feel that way and like the embarrassment of being 13 is enough is so embarrassing
to be 13 yes it's just I'm imagining just somebody standing just being like yeah I remember
moment everything is twitching for those who can't see it's horrible i remember a 13 year old yeah
you can tell naba but i remember someone asking me how old i was and just being so ashamed
to be like 13 you can't finish the word you're well like also you know you're you're
there's no way of hiding that you're 13 like you might think that they can't
Like, if you look at a 13-year-old, and even nowadays, like, there's a lot of jokes about, like, they're not young people where you're like, they don't look that age.
It was so terrible for us when we were that age.
Like, we, you know, our fat, like, the fashion of the 2000s is, like, all horrible.
And now they're just so put together and they have, like, YouTube and TikToks to, like, do their brows well.
And, like, they're all, like, more mature.
I was thinking about this recently because I was watching a show of these two.
two huge TikTok stars, and one of their friends in the show, someone was asking her, like,
why is your gender, like all you and your friends, you're so well behaved, like, you're so put
together. And she was saying, yeah, it's because we have this, like, third person watching us.
Everyone has a phone. Anyone could whip out whatever recording device they have and, like,
take a picture, take a video, it lives on the internet forever. And so we've internalized this,
like, being in our head. God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Except not as like forgiving as God
The public on TikTok is not as forgiving
I mean it's like if you if we're becoming
More and more image conscious as a culture
And I even remember I mean at 12 years old
It's just like you have this idea of what you're supposed to look like
Which is represented by a couple of people
Right you guys
You know yeah
Oh
I know no
What we're supposed to look like
No no it's true
Yeah I can't well now I've been stopped in my
Yeah sorry I feel so much shame
I'm just like, you can't help your bone structure, Ben.
It's helped me.
What was I saying?
I don't know, I just completely...
There's like one or two people you're supposed to look like.
Yeah, well, and I think regardless of what you look like, you're even for the first time being like, it matters what I look like.
Yeah.
Because as a child, you can't, you just don't have that awareness.
Like, it's just not possible.
I think it depends.
I think you're absorbing it, especially young girls.
probably do absorb like, you know, I'm supposed to look like Barbie or a princess.
Certainly that like grow up, get married, have kids like that sort of even not just your looks,
but sort of where your trajectory is in life.
And I have like a weird combo.
I feel like lots of self, like loathing and criticism.
It's like been since I was a child from all different sources.
And then also the sense of like, is it bodied?
dysmorphia to be like, damn, I look good, like, all the time. Like, even when I'm sure that I don't,
like, I have, it's, it's, and I think that it is from some sort of, like, extended childhood of
being an actor and being able to play and continue playing. I remember when Barbies were done,
like, no one was playing with Barbies anymore except for a few select friends. And I wanted to
play so bad still. And it was over. It was like, well, that's done. And all the Barbies that you've
collected in the little world that you've made. It's, it's,
done like we're not doing that anymore now what you're getting for your birthday is like nail polish
and makeup and and diaries you know and that kind of thing that's interesting in a couple levels but
do you feel like because you were acting which i was also at that age do you feel as though some of
that time i guess in retrospect was like taken from you is that kind of part of what you were saying
or is am i just imagining no i no no no no that's not projection is true
I think we should talk about this.
I'm feeling this way.
Nowadays, I feel like a big old kid that I get to, like, go to work and it's, and it is fun.
And it is like, God, don't we just get to be like teenagers forever, you know, in that way?
But as a kid, it is not the environment for, professional workplace is not, you know, the right environment for a child at all.
Yeah.
What about you?
I think I'm still constantly coming to terms with what an unusual circumstance being not just an actor, but like a professional working actor.
And so in a way, I think when I keep coming up against is how all of those insecurities that we have, which we end up discovering are unwarranted and magnified.
Being an actor, it's almost like all of those things are validated.
You know, it's like every insecurity you have about your body,
either someone who's seen you on camera has mentioned it in a comment somewhere
or you do transform, you do lose weight or you get taller
or you work out or you buy the thing.
Well, from that age, not in your 20s.
I was like, where did it? How?
I'm still growing.
I have a doctor.
I can.
Still growing, still going.
And like, you know, if you do,
Do, then you realize I don't feel an atom of difference.
I still feel the way that I felt.
Which there's something about this time too when you're like, you're just like, what is this body?
Like my body.
And also what you're saying, there's two different aspects to being an actor.
Certainly, like, as an adult, there's a different, like, expectation.
And we, I think in many ways, like, we get to, I think, have very little responsibility except for our own selves on set.
you know like what are our lines what are our characters process that like that's that's fun to me
and then when you're a kid and what you are getting like applauded for on set is for how grown up
you are yeah how responsible and how professional and that's really this whole other expectation that
is not really right to put on a kid no matter what you know like oh look what a grown up you are like
That's something that I still, you know, if I ever do have issues with anything, whether it's on set or otherwise in life, I have a fear of like complaining and being troubled at all.
I wonder for you guys, because me, I'm not an actor, but I can think back to middle school and also elementary school, just childhood.
And like I can pinpoint a few comments that just like my whole world then was centered on that comment.
Even people who loved me, like my sister, I remember, she was like, you know, Sophie, if you tense your stomach, one day you'll have abs.
Like, if you just, throughout your life, just tense your stomach.
I remember thinking about that constantly.
Like, I would catch myself and be like, oh, got to tense it.
Like, one day I'll have abs that way.
And it's on one level when you're experiencing that from, like, friends and family or, like, classmates.
But I'm wondering, were you guys young enough when you started to have that also from, like, the public to.
to hear those things, any comments that, like, got to you and had, like, stayed with you?
Not as a middle schooler, but I do remember having all kinds of stuff.
Like, I remember my cousins who were a few years older than me saying that my freckles,
like, I'm going to need to fade them.
They told me to use buttermilk.
And now I'm looking back on, was that a trick?
But I remember being like, I need buttermilk.
We need to buy buttermilk from the store, getting buttermilk, putting it on, like, a washcloth,
and just, like, keeping it on my face
and being, like, ashamed of freckles.
Wow.
Which I had no control over.
See, that, yeah.
Thank you for me.
I have control over my freckles,
but I don't know what kind of freckles you got.
That's really, that's just this idea that you can even become ashamed about,
because you're not one of those people who's covered in freckles.
Like, there are people who have a lot of freckles,
which I also think can be really beautiful.
It's like it's just, you know, neither way.
I really care, but...
Freckles are actually really in right now.
Are they?
Yeah, people fake freckles.
Wait, are you serious?
Yeah.
I'm out.
It's too much.
It's too many things all at once.
But isn't it such an annoying, like, age that we've, like, come to or, like, these kids
drawing their freckles on when I was a kid.
Freckles, like, to fake my freckles and cover them out.
It's just, like, it is that feeling of being, like, I'm getting older.
I mean, and truly, like.
Like, being a woman, too.
I mean, Penn, you're part of this.
Yeah, I can.
I can relate.
Honorary woman.
But, like, as you get older,
specifically, like, once you're married and have kids as a woman in our business,
my viable love interest in a movie is 50.
Oh, that's terrible.
Layton.
That's so upsetting.
I can't, like, I was really, we were playing this game the other night,
like, scrolling through movies and going,
what's that guy's age?
What's that girl's age?
And it is, and let's start at 15 years of different.
And, you know, I was doing a show for the last couple years and playing a mom.
And if I truly was the mother of this child, I would have been a very young.
I would have had him when I was like 20, which also is part of the story and it's totally fair.
And they're like, you know, you're turning 30 on the show.
And so I'm like, okay, that's a couple years younger than my actual age.
It was just fair.
And then they're like, we need you to cover up those grays.
and I'm like wow wow no I don't want to
this is the actual age this is actually what someone who has like a 10 11 12 year old
like this is somebody who's like a few grays in their hair
but we want you to just look younger just a little younger things like that
this is this is where I develop like I have a powerful disdain for our industry
and it's you know it's mores and when I hear that I'm just like
I mean, it really, it just, it doesn't, it doesn't even, I wouldn't even say it makes me angry.
It makes me be like, you're wrong.
Yeah, no, you're wrong.
You are morally bankrupt, end it.
Well, it doesn't just have an effect just on you, Layton.
It's cultural, huge cultural ripple effects.
It has a huge effect on the world.
And that's the crazy part.
It's like, yeah, and I mean, that's minor.
That's minor.
And I even, I mean, far be it from me because I had enough, like,
whatever. It's not even inner strength. It was just me being like, no, I don't really want to put
cover. I don't want to do that. We're not going to do that. And then being like, no, you're right.
That's fine. It's like, that's dimension. It's good. But it's sort of like highlights.
But having that, like most people, you know, in all walks of life, like, yeah, that is, that is what is more,
we get more attention, more applause for being, like, young and whatever. But, but.
But, yeah, no, you're right.
It has a ripple effect.
I just this weekend did a presentation on the impacts of media on society
and in particular, like, girls and boys.
And so I had done a lot of research.
And I think a lot of it also comes down to, like,
all of this machinery is profit-making.
And there's, like, advertising is, like,
trying to mold our consciousness in a particular way.
So if you keep people obsessed with their youth,
they'll continue to spend money on products that they don't need
to look something that they're never going to look
because they are actually aging.
So I think it's also, like, a fear tactic.
to get you to spend your money.
And it sort of like diverts all of your time
and all of your attention to something that doesn't matter.
And it's just a ploy to get you to spend money.
And it's a very deliberate ploy.
Like it's very calculated.
And there are people who have given like lots of thought
to how do you keep people insecure
so that they'll buy our products.
So it's also just so sad because it's so wasteful
and it has real impacts on people.
Like people truly feel people like I'm not part of them.
I feel it too.
You feel sad.
You feel insecure.
You feel like you're not enough.
Men your own age aren't interested in you.
They're looking at someone 10 years.
younger you know it has devastating consequences and it's all to feed the capitalist machine to get you
to spend your money and i'd say on the typically male side of things you actually the second you're
aware of all of this you know your your body starts changing your awareness starts changing all you want to do
is be older because because even at 12 and 13 that age gap starts to be impressed upon us all like
you know you keep thinking you need to be older because then the girls your age will like you that's so
And even I would say at my age
now working, I
I'm trying to think of the right way
to say this. Like I, if there's
a woman my age cast, I know I won't be
cast opposite her.
And that's a bummer. Like I'm just like, oh,
no, no. It's like if I know
the female role is already out.
She's playing your mom. I'm not
even kidding. Like, I'm like, I'm
old enough to play Timothy
Chalameh's mom.
And I'm
That's the point we've reached.
It's not a joke.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Oh.
All right.
All right.
So let's just, let's just real talk, as they say for a second.
That's a little bit of an aged thing to say now.
That dates me, doesn't it?
But no, real talk.
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You know, on like a one to ten?
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and two more on the way um a spouse a pet you know a job that sometimes has its demands so i really
want to feel like when i'm not getting the sleep and i'm not getting nutrition when my eating's
down i want to know that i'm that i'm being held down some other way physically you know my family
holds me down emotionally, spiritually, but I need something to hold me down physically, right?
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The three that I use, I use the, what is it called, liposomal vitamin C, and it tastes delicious.
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do that i do it i think it tastes great i use the liposomal uh glutathione as well in the morning
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We both have a mutual friend that I went to middle school with in New York.
DeVita!
Yeah, Davita.
So she told me that she was new to the school
and that me and my best friend at the time
kind of came up to her.
We're like, come and sit with us or whatever.
And we're like, let's be friends,
but we're witches.
That's amazing.
That's exactly what I would want it to be.
I love that.
And we're like, if you're going to be friends with us,
you have to be a witch too.
So did you, do you think, and do you remember this?
I mean, I remember being a witch.
Have you seen a show, Penn 15?
Yes.
Okay, have you seen the episode where there are witches?
This is all, it's all I'm thinking about.
And I'm like, I can't believe what a universal experience that was as like a 13-year-old.
We would do spells, I don't know, about what, really.
My one friend, to this day, says that she did a spell to make her hair.
hair curly.
And her hair's curly now.
She still says she maintains this now.
We're 35 years old and she's like, remember
when we did that spell and we had to get
whatever ingredients
and we had to substitute some stuff
with like dish soap?
And we did spells. We would let light
candles and do spells.
Gen Z would call this manifesting.
She manifested her curly hair.
It's playing. I mean, you're continuing
the play. But I think it's different now
and I think that like what we're giving to
young girls is different, but a lot of the play was like, we're getting married or we're, you know,
there is that game.
So you're a princess and you're getting married and, you know, or you're in high school,
certainly is the end all be all or here in college or whatever.
So maybe it is the like superhero equivalent for like a young girl who's out of like dolls,
you know.
Yeah, that's interesting because boys are have the, it's almost like boys have the freedom to think
magically up until that point.
And then it's sort of like, all right, now you've got to turn that into some real, real world every day, masculine sort of power.
And then it sounds like, yeah, like I guess girls are thinking about their power maybe in a different way, which is cool.
I like that.
Well, it's being stripped from us in many ways.
Like you said, like I remember being like hollered at walking down the street from a car when I was like 14, you know, and being like, what was that about?
And not fully understanding it, you know.
But just, you know, suddenly it's like, well, then you're, you know, slowly becoming more, like, of an object.
And then once you're 18, games on, you know.
And that's horrifying.
Or games over.
Games over, I suppose.
Now you're just progressing towards being too old.
Yeah.
Nothing's ever good enough.
I remember being 13 and being like, when I'm 16, I'll be happy.
Yeah.
And we do watch a lot of, like, movies.
And now, funny enough, anything that's central.
around teenagers I'm like I don't care yeah show me some grownups but when we're kids we're
watching just teenagers and that's what our whole world is yeah that is uh I'm gonna drop a bomb here
I'm gonna reference the show we were on together um it's what everybody came here for
um I remember being 20 and being like why does everyone care what these teenagers are doing
so much about what teenagers are doing in their relationships.
And if you really think about the kind of dramatic episodes
that these or any real teenagers would be doing,
emulating it or having similar experiences,
it's like you're literally creating something out of nothing.
There's a miscommunication over texting, right?
Between a 16-year-old and a 17-year-old.
Okay, this is what means.
Billions of people.
We literally are talking about
about something that could be,
I don't know, solved by auto-correct now.
Seriously.
And you're telling me that's something that everybody
wants to watch and is like, oh, it's so salacious.
There's so much happening.
It's like, there's nothing happening.
It's actually...
It's inconsequential.
And, you know, and that's, I wouldn't say that's unique to actually any show that we've been on.
That is, that is, that is, that is, uh, that is drama.
That is like, often what we think about when we talk about drama.
Yeah.
And, and, and I know that for me, when I was about 20, 21, 22, 35 into my 40s, I'm just kind of like, why?
Why?
Why, why, why is this the thing?
Why, like, what, like, what is it about this?
And, uh, well, that's that.
People don't share that sentiment, Penn.
I mean, it's fun.
the most annoying advice that I give to my 22-year-old sister constantly, which she asks for and
the never follows fair. But what would you do? What do you do if your best friend's boyfriend says
this or what do I do about my, you know, whatever in school or my apartment or something? And I'm like,
this is so annoying, but like it doesn't matter. It doesn't. And I know that like that it does
to you right now. This person said this or whatever. Like, don't get involved. Stay home.
If you want, and I just, and the most annoying thing is being told by an older person that what you're going through, it doesn't matter.
And I'm not saying that what I don't agree 100% of what you just said as well, but I do, I'm agreeing with my own advice as well.
And I'm like, yeah, like, it doesn't matter.
You're 22.
What do you want to do with your time?
Don't get involved in that.
I don't know.
Just read and, like, learn an instrument and, like, study a language and spend time with your friends and, like, better yourself.
And don't get involved in the like minutia.
Just don't.
It's not worth it.
You're not going to think about it later.
What you're saying is essentially true, and I think it's getting down into the cellular experience of anyone when they're in pain.
In the moment, the fact that you're having that experience, the fact that it matters so much to you is the thing that you, that shapes you, is the sort of emotional and chemical experience that does shape you as you grow.
even though you can know years later it doesn't matter you're still laughing and cringing about it and
writing a story and you know what i mean it's like it's still it sticks and i think somehow
even though i am you know probably far too prone to like casually dismissing an entire
generations like interest in a particular drama when i when i talk to my stepson who's 12
i have to catch myself because like i'm not his his dad is very much in his life so
So I am this other role, this always evolving, like, other parental figure, sometimes very friendly, sometimes very brotherly, sometimes very parental.
I have to catch myself from, like, not dismissing his cares, you know, because sometimes they will be.
It's like, we're talking about a shoe.
Like, that's what we're actually talking about.
I remember when I was 16, my whole family, like, labeled me as, like, boy crazy.
That was my password in middle school, like, boy crazy.
or something. And I was just, like, obsessed. I had so many crushes. And the feeling of my whole
family was kind of like, Sophie, just move on. Like, it's not that important. You're so young.
Nothing's actually real. Nothing's going to happen. And this girl who's actually now my sister-in-law,
she married my brother. But before they were ever together, when I was first meeting her,
I sat down with her for something else. And she sat down and immediately was like,
so tell me about boys. And I was just like, oh.
And it was like huge.
And she, I think like, it was almost like not, she wasn't doing it in a tricking way,
but it makes me think like, how do we as adults then do that for younger people?
Like get on their level.
Like, yeah, I totally get it.
Tell me everything.
And then, like, mold them and guide them.
That's so sweet.
It's actually not that important.
But like, you have to be able to acknowledge it with them first.
Yeah.
So we've come full circle.
It doesn't matter to let's validate this whole gender.
It makes them feel worthy
The first step it sounds to me
Like is listening
You know
And that's what I feel like
I didn't have a lot
At this age
I didn't have a lot of people
Really listening
I don't know that I felt like
I had anybody listening
To be honest
You know
I don't think that
The boomer generation
Really knew how to listen
To a 12 year old
I don't think that was like
Cultivated in them
Their parents were like
I went to war
You go to school
Have a drink
You know like
That's the extent
of, it was like, you're not dead.
Something I was going to say, and we can cut this, but
because now we're going back to gossip crawl.
But I do remember, I do, I do want to bring him from the point.
Well, no, because I think it was like an extension of what we're talking about.
So, like, I was 20 when I started that show and doing like, you know,
fittings for lingerie, right?
And like, okay, so we're going to do this scene and you're going to be changing in front of a...
I think every episode.
I mean, so many, like, sexual fantasies.
It was like right away.
It was like right off the bat.
Absolutely. So I'm 20 years old at the time doing scenes of not just having like sex or like, you know, sexual like fantasy stuff and then like in a bed with someone or whatever. We were 20. So whoever was looking at it, certainly like girls that were actually 16. I was playing a 16 year old. They're watching it thinking that is what a 16 year old looks like. And right now I'm watching a 16 year old have sex. I'm watching a 16 year old in lingerie.
and their body.
But actually, it's not a 16-year-old.
It's a 20-year-old,
but my brain is being told that it's a 16-year-old.
So that, like, kind of messes with you, too.
Completely.
This is what I mean is, like, if we actually put 15- and 16-year-olds
in these, like, teen shows and movies that we make,
we'd all be like, what the, like, no.
It wouldn't be funny.
It wouldn't be sexy.
But then we put in people with, like, you know,
like who look like us.
And, you know, we have to, like, shave twice a day already.
And, you know, it's like, it's like,
It's just, it's just, it's just not fair to anybody.
Yeah.
You know, it's just, it's not.
Yeah, it is messed up to know that the people who 13-year-olds are idolizing are actually 20.
And it's also weird for them to be playing a 16-year-old.
And walking into bars ordering, like, dirty martini.
Yeah.
And not having any issues with that at all.
Being like, it's my 15th birthday.
It's like, it's like, I'll have a scotch.
I killed a man.
And there's no question.
from these people, like, at all.
There's no card.
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You didn't meet on gossip.
We actually were asking Penn about this and he had a memory.
I don't think about it hardly ever, but then I'm like, oh, Hella Burger.
It's called Drive-Thru.
I was wondering which title you were going to shout just now.
And I'm really glad that was the one.
Hell a burger
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da
They should
Man
We should get that clean
So for the listener
We did a
Like a real B-grade horror
Together
And it wasn't that long
Before Gossip Girl, was it?
No, I want to say
Maybe a year
Yeah
Maybe a year and a half or two
At most
But it was like
It was on the cusp
Yeah
I still had my really long hair
It's so funny.
Like, I don't know if I've ever seen it.
I don't think I have either.
Yeah, I would like to.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I've seen clips.
I'd like to.
You know, of like, there's a Ouija board scene.
Mm-hmm.
You're decapitated spoiler.
I believe.
Spoiler, spoiler.
No, no, no, no.
No, I'm cut in the middle, in the half.
Okay.
I'm cut in fully half.
Let's be clear.
Like, at my waist.
Like a magic joke?
No, and then, and then my body, my torso slides off of my legs.
Oh, right.
And that was interesting.
I have to ask, since you guys did that and then Gossip Girl, do you remember your first impressions of each other?
And did they change when you sort of came together for...
Did I meet you for the first time on that movie?
Or did we meet before?
Because I do recall, I think I was at a party at your house once.
Interesting.
She does not remember you.
I mean, I'm pretty sure we met on that movie.
Yeah, yeah, I think that, yeah.
I ended up at like a Halloween party or something at your house.
and I remember waiting in line for the bathroom
and you turned around
and I hadn't seen you with blonde hair
and I was like oh
hey right
but then gossip girl was not on the horizon
we didn't know we were going to work together later
that's about the extent of it
that's about the extent I can remember
but then I must have invited you to the party
no I think I was there with a friend
oh okay
that is really funny
I know it's the vaguest memory I have
so the headline is like pen not memorable to Layton at all
Stop it.
No, no.
That's fair.
No, not at all.
That's the link.
One aspect of the podcast that we sometimes explore is around like relationships, like things that you thought in middle school versus now.
And I actually have a really sweet story about your husband, Adam, for those of you who don't know, Adam Brody.
My dad did, had a small role in a movie that Adam was the star of that shot in Puerto Rico.
And it's called Welcome to the Jungle.
Yeah.
And I think my dad was like a toilet paper salesman that they, that he had to be.
to like make a pitch to. Anyway, so my sister and I were visiting Puerto Rico at the time,
and my dad was like really excited for us to come on set. Anyway, so long story short, my sister and I
are like super excited to go on set as well. We were fans of the OC, so we like knew who Adam was
when he was the star of the movie. And when we get there, they wouldn't let us on. And my dad
had like done all the clearances and protocols and for whatever reason they wouldn't let us
come on set. And Adam overheard my dad talking on the phone to someone in security, like
trying to get us on. And he's like, what's happening? And my dad told him and he's like,
don't worry, I'll take care of it. And he got us on the set, and then he gave us a tour.
And I remember being, like, really touched by that because he was the star of the movie.
My dad had, like, the tiniest role. He, like, went out of his way to help this person and, like, give us a tour.
And I've always really rooted for Adam's career ever since then.
That's so sweet.
And so I wanted to just use that as a segue to hear about how sort of your impressions or thoughts of what marriage would be like, what a relationship would be like, have shifted now that you're actually, like, in that time of your life.
Yeah, that's amazing. That's so sweet. That sounds right.
I have a picture, too. I can show you later.
Oh, my God, I want to see. Wow, I can't wait to tell him that. That's so nice.
I love that movie, actually.
So my dad's the first shot. Like, the first face that it opens on is my dad. Yeah.
In Puerto Rico, that's so nice. He ended up doing a show there, so we would live there for like half a year for the last three years. Yeah, it's so nice.
Oh, amazing. That's so cool. That's so sweet. He's sweet.
I'm all, it just occurred to me.
He's really sweet.
I've been with for eight years or nine years.
He's also kind of handsome.
So, to bring up DeVita again.
She's at the center of every story here.
By the way, for reference, DeVita was a friend of mine later in L.A.
Okay, yeah.
So we knew each other in middle school.
Then she moved here.
then I moved here
and then weirdly we both moved to New York
and then back to L.A. all the same period
so we've always lived in the same town
for the most part. Maybe we were
16 or 17
I forget when this would have been
but she had
Adam's picture as her
screen saver
oh my gosh
so I remember seeing it being like
who's that and she's like
oh like she told me about it and I was like
oh okay so like his face
This is my consciousness
since like this age
And it's funny
Because I never watch the show
Nothing against it
Clearly I married the guy in it
It's like you know
But it's just so funny
To look back and be like
That was the first time I ever like
Saw his face
And I can remember
You know a picture of him
Yeah
Wow
And um
Did he look great?
Yeah
Yeah
Look the same
He's aged nicely
I feel like he has
Looked the same for 20 years
Yeah better
She's looking better
Probably
I haven't seen him recently.
Yeah.
It's frustrating.
Yeah, so that was the first time I ever saw him.
Saw him.
I saw a picture of him on my friend's computer.
And I think that she had different people's faces at times on her screensaver.
And then, like, I remember doing Spend the Bottle with DeVita and being like...
And a picture of Adam.
And a picture of Adam.
Like, I'll...
That's as far as not.
practicing um but yeah like having like you know and being like no this is degrading we're not
doing this we're not going to kiss boys because the bottle's telling us you know um years later
it's just a different kind of bottle exactly yeah i mean as far as like a relationship you know
when you're young it's exactly what we're talking about before just like don't don't invalidate
the depth of my feelings like it's so passionate it's so important you know and when you do think
of like love before like the what you think of as like a relationship and love it's like that's not
it's not I mean I know that I got very lucky to like know and meet I met Adam when I when we first
started gossip girl I met him when you know I think we're out here for like the upfronts or not
upfronts but one of those kind of press things like before the first season started so I met him
then and then you know didn't date him all that time did you make him your screensaver
I did a long game
sort of ignoring him for five years
and I got him
So that's the way
It does
Disclaimer, it doesn't work
Don't
Don't play mind games
As far as like
When I think about guys that I liked in high school
Or like what I was interested in then
Or the fantasy of that
It was all so so
Innocent
And then when I was actually in relationships
I didn't really know what to do
I was just like, you know, I think I thought about catering to the guy that I was with and, like, what would make him happy and then still having some sort of like inner strength to be like, no, I'm going to be strong.
And I remember every comment that like a guy, whether I was dating him or had a crush on him, would like say to me about like a comment about my body or just comments about anything.
Like it stays about me, about my, you know, white trash family about whatever.
Like, certainly, like, I can remember and recall.
And I think, like, also, I do recall the positive things that were said to me,
maybe not by, like, boyfriends, but just, like, by people I worked with or by friends or by teachers.
Like, those things stuck with me.
Things that I felt like, oh, I am good.
I am, like, special, you know?
And, boy, is that an annoying thing for our parents' children.
She should be, like, everyone thinks they're special.
Oh, no, we are.
And I want everyone to think that.
but this is not fishing for anything but I've never really felt that way about anything
I've never felt like oh I belong here you know I always have that feeling of like I don't and
I don't think that that is something that I think some people have that because like of
unconditional love yeah I think that's where it comes from no I know but I'm serious like
that is I think where people who feel a sense of belonging
they're receiving some kind of unconditional love from somewhere yeah it's true and I think that's
pretty rare I mean what I would say is that most people I think actually no maybe it's not rare
most people actually feel like their parents love them and uh I have this conversation a lot
with my wife like I what do you guys think because because I have I think I have my own my own
thoughts about that but like I'm really curious because these two have not perfect
But they have very, what I see as healthy relationships with their parents.
I can see that.
I can sense that.
Penn had dinner with my dad last mate.
You can, like, predict you can comment on it.
And I'm curious what you guys think.
Yeah.
I have two thoughts.
I hope that for most people, they do sort of have that foundation of, like, family
and that stability that comes with the feeling that you have unconditional love.
I think it's so crucial to stability and, like, a sense.
sense of self.
My other thought is that in the industry in, like, Hollywood, there seems to be a large
number of people who have challenging relationships with their parents.
Have I given you that impression?
Never.
Whatever did I?
But I think it's a little bit skewed.
So I feel like if you're in Hollywood or if you're like, if that's the environment that
you're in most of the time, there might be a feeling that that's really common.
But I think it's less common for people whose parents are like bankers or accountants or
who are just in another arena.
of life. I was just telling my mom yesterday, because for whatever reason, I'm known among my friends,
for having a really close relationship with my parents, but especially to my mom, we talk all the
time and we're very close. And someone was asking me, they have kids, and they were like,
how did she do it? And my mom always gives this, like, canned answer of like, I laid down with my
kids at night. And I was like, mom, I don't think like that's it. I don't think that's the thing.
If it was that easy, lots of people would have closer relationships with their kids.
And I was really thinking about it.
And I think my mom just wanted to be around us, her kids, so genuinely.
She just enjoyed being around us and we felt that.
And I think that's hard.
Being a parent can be really challenging and you're exhausted.
I don't think everybody does naturally feel that way, that they're just like so enthused by everything that their kids.
has to say, or they want to know their kid really well.
And my mom just, that was just a natural thing for her.
But I think that's not common is what I was going to say.
I grew up in Puerto Rico, and I think in Puerto Rican culture, family is like a huge, it's the, it's more important than work.
And like in Puerto Rican culture, people talk a lot about Americans live to work, but we work to live.
That's like an expression that it's probably common, but I used to hear my Puerto Rico friends say a lot.
I know.
I don't say it to me who's like half American.
So I was like, hmm.
But my friends all had really close relationships with their parents.
And I feel like culturally, it's a thing.
And people feel secure in their relationships with their families.
I'm probably statistically wrong.
But, yeah, it's funny.
I just did a movie in Croatia and truly, like, even the hours that people work,
that they're just like, no, we'll be done at seven.
And then we're all going to go get dinner and just come back at, like, eight tomorrow.
You know, and you got all the same work done.
And in Puerto Rico, I actually notice this, like, very.
very family-friendly, very, like, family-oriented.
Like, every corner has a playground and every bar and restaurant, like, has high chairs
and people who are like, let me hold that baby.
Yeah.
Let me raise that baby.
Leave that baby with me.
And every, like, older child on a playground is, like, give me that baby.
Oh, that is great.
I feel like when you see children so accustomed to babies, like, that is something healthy is
happening there.
We don't have that here.
Not at all.
I mean, like, it's funny because, like, I feel like I live and, like, am raising.
my family in a small community and then
I went to some
grocery store outside of the
outside of the community and this
woman was standing at the
cashier with her baby in a cart
or like baby in a stroller
and was like oh god I forgot something
okay um
you can check me out and then I'll go back
through it I was like I can just stand here
and watch your baby for you if you want
and you looked at me like
you're going to steal my brain
Like, yeah, and I was like, oh, yeah, like, the world doesn't operate like that.
And I'm not saying it has to be like that.
And God, what a lofty, like, ridiculous thing for me to be like, people should be more communal with their baby.
But, like, you know, I think they should be.
I feel like that's the only, well, that's one of the few protections that we have.
Like, I was talking to my brother the other day, he has a two and a half year old.
And he was like, we're thinking about leaving the country.
And I was like, where would you go?
And he was like, I don't know.
We just like, I don't think we can be here.
Both him and his wife were raised overseas.
And now that they're raising this child, they're like, I don't know if we can be here.
And I want to be like, you can do it.
Like, you can create a community that guards against that.
And I think that is the only way.
You have to build up a community that can help support you.
In Croatia, they have, when you have a baby, you take a year off.
And then the dad can take a year off.
And so your kid for two years as a parent.
We needed a pandemic for that.
We need a global health crisis for that.
I'm interested, personally.
I'm interested these days.
Do people have hope?
What gives them hope?
You know, where are we headed?
You know, it's an important question.
Well, I'm here to tell you.
Layton Meester, what do you think?
You guys have asked really tough questions that have no answers.
It's just the show about crushes.
You've been answering them.
Middle school, right?
We swindled you.
We've not spoken about middle school at all.
So during the pandemic, it was truly like an intensive, the three of us on a ship, you know, together.
Like, we didn't leave the house for so long.
And we really did just spend that time with each other.
And then when I went to have my baby, I wasn't able to, like, bring a doula or a midwife.
I, you know, I had Adam there.
And it was so nice.
It was so nice that it was just us.
It was like everything we did and talked about and felt during that time was, like, us.
And then, you know, the other part of the hopefulness to me kind of came out when I, when my daughter had not seen another child or another person and had, I'm sure.
taken from us the sense of like people are bad you put up a mask you walk on the other side of
the street from them for a while and then we finally were like okay she needs a friend to play with
and our other friend and her children had been isolated and we were like let's get together
and it was like nothing had happened they just are just spitting each other's mouths and nobody
I like the old days.
Yeah.
The, like the, yeah.
I miss spitting each other.
I really do.
I, like, think that every time I'm at, like, a restaurant, I'm like, just spit in my food.
I just want it.
Take down.
Just, just, just yell the men, yell the specials at me into my water.
And I want to drink it.
But, like, that, not missing a beat and just being like, yes, my friend, we play.
And I think what I'm saying is through the eyes of a child, you do, much like Disney.
As an adult, it is hell.
If there's a child involved, boy, is it magical.
And I guess that that is the point of life.
So here we are.
The reason for living is children.
That's the reason for my life.
And I know that's not the case for everyone.
But if you're looking for the meaning of life, just have a baby.
Or ask a baby
Ask a baby
They know
They'll just look at you
No but when we talked
On the phone the other day
When we were talking about work
And you were like
I don't question anything really
And I was like
I don't question anything
Because I'm like
Why I don't want to change anything
About now isn't that the age old
Like time travel
Like I wouldn't change anything
I really wouldn't
As fucked up
As stuff
Has been
Or how like
Whatever
Pain I had to go through
I'm here now
And I think that
For me
A perfect like
litmus test of if I'm content or happy or whatever the expression excited for my life
is like if everything is okay with my kids or my family I'm like it's okay everything's fine
I can like figure it out and I can like unpack it and work on it and talk about it deal with it
if I go to work and they're like great scene or whatever it is or if I don't they don't do that
but you know what I mean I'm like you know everyone's clapping for me everyone's clapping
And they're just like, look at you
It's so great
You're so special
Effortlessly
But if there's something like my kids
Like something's off or like
Something's off with my relationship
Then nothing's right
Doesn't matter
And so
It's our foundation
That is like how you're doing
You know
It's so true
It doesn't matter what kind of validation
You get from the outside world
It might be good for like
literally 15 minutes
you know, you're going in an interview.
And they're like,
Oh,
season three.
Doesn't it, like,
make you your skin crawl
when people are like,
you've done so much.
Like, you are a musician,
you have a podcast,
you're an actor,
and you're just like,
it's like,
the pressure.
It hurts.
Isn't that such an annoying thing
to say?
I don't like it when people compliment me.
I hate it.
And there we go back
to the formative period.
Layton,
this is actually the question
I want to end on in this tone.
Yeah, are you still here for me now?
Okay, go.
Yeah.
Go, go, go, go.
I was just going to segue really just like, just crafting.
Well, we always ask people, if you could go back and be with young Layton, maybe 12 years old, 13 years old, what would you say to her?
I would say, oh, God, yeah, I don't know.
I've just stopped the room cold by being like, what's the answer?
What the fuck is it?
I don't know.
I'd say a lot of things.
Like, talk to yourself like your own best friend.
That's a really annoying quote.
You wouldn't say, like, you suck.
You fucked up that thing.
I would just be like, no, you're doing your best, you know?
Or like, I'm here for you.
Being your own friend is a deep one because at that age, it's your own worst critic.
it's the beginning of being your own worst critic and maybe it never stops
no it doesn't it doesn't if you have great parents I think maybe
no no
wait and this has been amazing thank you for your time
generosity it's great to see you
it's great to see you too thank you for having me appreciate it
is any of this usable
we'll have to go back you know listen through
You know what I like the most?
How she pronounced Timothy Shalame.
She said Timothy Shalemate.
It was like kind of lazy and it was like Timothy, because the accent is on that.
On the premieree.
What's, is it?
Like Sophie said at the beginning, I.
also was really struck by how down-to-earth Leighton was.
And, but I just can't help but keep thinking that the subtext is that I'm not.
Is that what's that mean about?
I mean, Penn, you have been a celebrity your entire life, so you don't know this.
But most everyday normal people think about celebrities as like larger than life.
Yeah, also that they're not famous.
You don't have acolytes, just trailing you.
Hopefully after this morning.
Sorry. Yeah, we better with this.
I mean.
But Penn, maybe little bits like that is why we don't think of you is down to earth.
Yeah.
Print it. Let's move on.
Sorry, go on.
True.
Okay, here's what I really loved about this recording experience was honestly watching you and Leighton together.
Like, I really felt the friendship.
You know, I don't know how, like, in touch you guys have been over the years.
But the whole interview was feeling, like, happy that you guys were together.
That's really how I felt.
I was just like, I'm so happy that Penn and Leighton are together right now and that they have this, like, come from.
between them. It was really sweet to see you together. And I don't think this will make it into the
edit, but Penn and Layton showed each other pictures of their babies, and they sort of caught up
on these aspects of life that are so important. And it was really nice to witness that.
I really loved when Layton opened up about some comments she's had working in the industry
for so long. That seemed like, you know, on the scale of things relatively innocuous, like comments
about her body or her appearance. But she's also hilarious. Actually, can I change my favorite part?
My favorite part was when she's, she said she wanted the waiter to spit in her mouth.
I laughed so hard.
Wait, I don't remember that.
She's like, spit in my mouth, spit in my mouth, just do it, spit in my mouth.
And I want to drink it.
I think she just kept going.
I have complete amnesia here.
We can probably, how are we going to get out of this?
How are we going to get out of this glass box of, all I'm going to do on this show is reference my shows.
Yeah, please don't.
I'm only going to be dismissive of them in press,
but on my show,
I'm just going to just going to cash in.
Now that I've got my own show,
I'm just like, yeah, you guys like gossip, bro.
Yeah, you guys like you.
Come on in.
Come on.
I'm going to give you more content.
I will kidnap you, Twitter user too, too, for it.
The last box of gossip.
I think we're out.
Yeah, it's good.
All right.
Bye.
Leighton Meester in episodes of How I Met Your Father on Hulu, and you can also keep up with her on Instagram at It's Me Layton.
Podcreshed is hosted by Penn Badgley, Navacavalin, and Sophie Ansari.
Our executive producer is Nora Ritchie from Stitcher.
Our lead producer and editor is David Ansari.
Our secondary editor is Sharaf and Twizzle.
Special thanks to Peter Clowny, VP of Content at Stitcher, Eric Eddings, Director of Lifestyle Programming at Stitcher,
Jared O'Connell and Brendan Bryans for the tech support, and Shruti Marante, who transcribes our tape.
Podcrush was created by Navakavalen
and is executive produced by Penn Badgley
and Navakavalin and produced by Sophie and Sari.
This podcast is a ninth mode production.
Be sure to subscribe to Podcrush.
You can find us on Stitcher, the Serious XM app,
Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.
If you'd like to submit a middle school story,
go to podcrush.com and give us every detail.
And while you're online, be sure to follow us on socials
or we're telling everyone that your mom still walks you to the bus stop.
You don't want that.
It's at Podcresh, spelled how it sounds,
and our personals are at Pembadjley, at Nava, that's Nava with three ends, and at Scribble by Sophie.
And we're out.
See you next week.
Bye.
Feel free to jump in, like, I think we can play with each other.
Sure, sure.
Be sure to subscribe to Pod Crush.
Bitch.
Subscribe to Pod Crush, bitch.
Thank you.