Podcrushed - [Rerun] Nina Dobrev

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

[Original air date: July 19, 2023] Nina Dobrev (Vampire Diaries) stops by the pod to share recollections from her early adolescence, including her time as a substitute on the national Canadian gymnastics team, navigating Canadian culture under a strict Bulgarian upbringing, and recognizing how recreating family-seeking patterns in romantic relationships was preventing her from finding real love.    🎧 Want more from Podcrushed? 📸 Instagram 🎵 TikTok 🐦 X / Twitter ✨ Follow Penn, Sophie & Nava Instagram Penn Sophie Nava TikTok Penn Sophie Nava See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today's episode of Podcrushed was recorded weeks prior to the Sag Strike. Nina Dobrev is an actor. I am an actor. We stand in solidarity with our union and our fellow actors and with the Writers Guild. We mention a few projects. Not in promotion. We're not promoting them. We're reflecting.

So anything that you hear is to be taken in that context. There's artistic gymnastics, which is like a group sort of like saccharacterious. gymnastics with those same things. And so I was like a substitute on the Canadian National. That's pretty serious, Nina. You may seem like it was just nothing. Right, but as a substitute.

Let's emphasize the word substitute. Welcome to Pod Crushed. We're hosts. I'm Penn. I'm Nava. And I'm Sophie. And I think we would have been your middle school besties flinging tampons at the wall. Ah, I'm glad I wasn't the only one.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Pod Crushed. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Hello. So I have been having a lot of trouble getting dressed in the mornings. Why? I'm worried. What happened? There's a lot of factors. One of them is my growing bump.

I'm pregnant. Where? Oh, that's right. Yes. Oh, my God, congratulations. But along with that, this studio can be quite cold. Sometimes it's quite warm. it's hard to gauge, right?

That's not our vibe? And this morning, I was having a lot of trouble. I put on a sweater that I just felt really comfy in, you know? And then I'm getting ready for the interview. My mom facetimes me. We're chatting. She's like, who are you interviewing? And I said, oh, Nina Dobra, you probably don't know her just because my mom is in her 60s, right?

And my mom's like, oh, no, I know her. And I was like, okay. And she said, well, what are you wearing? And I was like, this. And she said, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I love Helen. And I just said, I can't. And I can't handle this right now.

Then I went out to David and I told him the story and he's like, I do kind of think you should change. I was like, great. So I changed out of the sweater, not anything much better. And that's what you chose. Yes. I have, my options are limited people. It's the belly.

That's, you know, I have to say that for a moment today, I was running late because I was looking for my wallet, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, should I just not even bother wearing makeup? Because it's Nina Dobre. Like, who looks good? Like, I'm going to look like trash anyway next to her. But then I was like, well, let's give myself like a tiny, like a tiny little bit of help. Just a little confidence. I don't look like a zombie next to Nina.

But, wow. Anyway, my mom is going to be watching this episode carefully. Does your mom watch? No. Yeah. But she will watch this one. Well, so you already know who. it is outside of film and TV.

Nina uses her presence to support causes like education, animal rights, and environmental sustainability. We love to have it on. We think you love listening. So don't you go anywhere. Hi, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus here, and I can't wait for you to hear our new episode of Wiser Than Me with Cindy Lopper on Amazon Music.

Cindy may be a girl who just wants to have fun, but for 40 years she has brought playfulness and a dash of punk to some serious action. We talk about her lifelong LGBTQ plus advocacy, her astonishing music career, and pick up a whole lot of wisdom along the way. Listen now only on Amazon music included with Prime. Have you guys met before, by the way? We must have. I can't remember how it would have been.

You know, I have this, like, horrible disease where, like... Where you're famous? And you, like, I know who you're famous, so I know your work. I've watched you. Like, I've seen your... Yeah, so like, and then I've seen you probably at events but not talk to you. So it's one of those things where I'm like, I don't know if we actually did the hello nice to meet you thing. Were your shows on at the same time, Vampire Darius?

Yeah. At some point they definitely overlap. So I have a very core memory of, you know, my first season on Vampire Darius, which was your guys' second season on Gossip Girl. Oh, it was that early. Yeah. And it was my first upfronts and I'm like shipped in from Canada. I've never done an upfronts. So up fronts for people who don't know, which is going to be most people, I think.

I think. Yeah. It's like, I don't even know that it's that much of a thing anymore because of streaming, but... I think it is still. Yeah, there must be, because the world is run by advertisers and where they want to spend their money. But basically you go to, like, a Madison Square Garden or something like that is a giant, giant, giant place. And all the people from all the shows on the network, because networks are not as much of a thing now. But, you know, you go, you go up on stage, and they show like a preview of your show. And then it's just like you're there for the advertisers...

people who are going to potentially buy time on your show, like for commercials. So that was a very boring explanation that I wish we could cut out. Is there like a panel? Are they asking you questions? Not really. It's really weird. The thing about it that is so distinct is that you have never felt more like a product in your life, you know? And you're just, and whatever, you know, you're trying to just get through it. Anyway, so you are at upfronts, second season of Gossip Girl, first season of yours. Correct. And there's like a green room in the back. And I don't remember, I'm sure you were there.

I'm sure, like, everybody was there. Like, our whole cast was there. So I would have been, ha! No, that's not true, just for the record. And we were all, like, shoved in this green room waiting to go on stage together. And I just remember being like, this is a lot. This is a lot. And this is so crazy.

And, like, what's happening? Where am I? So, yeah, so we didn't cross paths too much, but that one time. Yeah. We were probably in the same room. But I don't think we talked to each other. Yeah. Well, for good reason.

Thank you for coming. Thanks for having me. So let's just jump back a little bit further. It sounds like you moved back to Bulgaria when you were 10. Is that right? Correct. And then a few years later you came back to America. Correct.

So that means by about middle school, you had just been back, like, do we call this home? Did it feel like home, Bulgaria? Yeah. I feel like both were home in different ways. Okay. Yeah, those are the formative years. So I was born in Bulgaria, and then we immigrated to Canada when I was two. So at the time, I wouldn't have called it home in Bulgaria because I didn't really remember anything.

But then when we went back when I was about 10 until I was 12, I was, you know, yeah, those are very, like, I was very aware of those years. And it was very strange, fun because it was like a new adventure, but also looking back. I now see how strange it must have been for my, you know, formative years to have gone through that. What was it like to return to Canada? So, you know, I spoke Bulgarian at home. My parents didn't let us speak English in the house. Wow. But then when I got to Bulgaria, I didn't.

I realized that, like, it was very broken compared to everyone else. And because of the fact that, like, the European education system is just far ahead. Yeah. They bumped me back two years. Oh, wow. So I was going to school with kids two years younger than me. Wow. Which was really obviously awkward and uncomfortable.

But they were sweet and, like, it was fine. But then after school, I would have to go to tutoring to, like, try to catch up. So I definitely felt really stupid. Well, to me, that sounds really demoralizing and, like, frustrating. Yeah, hard, because it's like this is not your first language anymore. Yeah. And I mean, that's, so that I feel like, that feels like it would be very, yeah, just like emotional. Yeah, it didn't feel great at the time.

I remember feeling sort of less than compared to everyone. But then, I mean, I had the support. It's not like people were mean as far as I can remember unless they were so mean that I blocked it out. And I'm actually traumatized by it. I don't know. There's that sweet stuff. What's the difference? I still have some therapy to do there, so we'll report back.

but you know the weirder part or the maybe it balanced out because when I to answer your original question when I did eventually go back to Canada

everything I had learned now I was suddenly ahead compared to my peers in Canada minus the language part but in terms of like what math they were doing and like all the subjects

they were doing like multiplication and and and vision and all these crazy things in like kindergarten and first grade there. So, yeah, so when I came back, I actually advanced. And so then I was all of a sudden got my confidence boost back up, you know. Right in time.

Right in time for junior high. But I sort of forgot English a little bit. Like English was awkward for me because I hadn't practiced in so long. So then I had to not relearn English, but sort of, you know, kind of get used to it again and get used to. seeing all my friends again and, you know, it'd been two years since I'd seen them. So, I mean, that actually sounds like it was just many years of feeling a bit destabilized. For sure. But, you know, everything has a positive and a negative.

It was definitely destabilizing looking back on it. But at the same time, I think in the moment, it was a fun adventure. Like I mentioned before, it was going to a new place and meeting new people. and my mom is very like, you know, she's an artist, so she's very, what's what's what I'm looking for? She's just spontaneous and up for whatever. And so she's sort of instilled that in me and we'd go camping and do this and that. And like everything was on a whim. And when you're in Europe, you can just go to other countries because they're a couple hours away by car.

And so we were just constantly moving around. And so I think that has permeated and effective. and sort of bled into the rest of my life. Like I almost feel uncomfortable sitting still for too long and being in one city for more than a week or two. Right. When Nina first got into the studio, I don't know if you guys heard it,

but we were talking about, you know, New York City, where we live. And I asked you, have you ever lived here? And you had an interesting way of responding, which is like, sort of. And so I am now hearing the kind of background of like how mobile you've been and how you can feel like you're in many places.

Yeah, for sure. So also what I think maybe people do not know about you, I didn't know about this until doing our research, you were very serious into gymnastics, is that correct? Yeah, but not very... The internet sometimes magnified things. For sure, it does. Always.

Also, I mean, I loved it. It was rhythmic gymnastics, just to be specific, because a lot of people, when they think of gymnastics, think of the Olympics. you know, Gabby Douglas and, you know, all that. I didn't do that kind of gymnastics because I had like a ribbon and a hoop. Okay. And the, and the, and it rhythmic specifically is that.

But then also there's artistic gymnastics, which is like a group sort of like synchronized gymnastics with those same things. And so I was like a substitute on the Canadian National. What? That's pretty serious, Nina. You made it seem like it was just nothing. Right. but as a substitute.

Let's like emphasize the word substitute. I think I competed a few times, but not like I wasn't like the girl. Like I wasn't going to the Olympics. I started kind of late. Was there the possibility of Olympics? Not for me really, no. But for that team, that was something that happens. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure. Two of the girls on the team because there was like 10 of us, 12 of us. and I think it's been really going back in time I should have done my own research from my own history

I don't remember how many women girls I guess were on at the same time I think it's between 6 and 10 maybe or doing like a choreograph routine and then there was a couple of substitutes but maybe you should fact check that for me

I don't think anybody's going to hold you to it yeah don't worry Who can't get canceled over this name? The rhythmic and aesthetic gymnastics. That's true. That's true. Community might.

Now it's on me. But yeah, so two of the girls were, like, did go to the Olympics for just rhythmic as individual athletes. And I think she played, I mean, I don't remember what she plays, but she's, yeah, she went pretty far. But you didn't feel that kind of pressure. I guess I'm trying to understand, you know, trying to, it seemed like maybe it was part of, you know, you know, You know, just like the makeup of your environment and like where you were coming from in or early in life. Like the, because, you know, if you were seriously contending,

there, that's a huge, that's like a high-stakes kind of high-pressure thing. But it sounds like maybe you weren't, you were almost there. I mean, I think I was, I think it was a hobby at first, but I got pretty good, pretty fast. And they were like, huh, this girl's like actually, like they didn't, I sort of like came out of nowhere for them because I started at, I think I was like eight or nine. maybe 10 no I was probably 9

and for the gymnastics world that's like you're on your death bet like so wild you know what I mean like they started like four yeah maybe so nobody like really considered that I would do anything with it and then I sort of worked my way up and they were like oh you're good enough

to be a substitute like maybe if somebody dies like you can come in and so yeah it was it was really fun and I loved it but I I think, especially as I hit puberty and I had like, I was a little bit more big chested compared to the other girls. And I quickly was like, this isn't going to be a long-term thing. Plus, the expiration date for that world is like 18.

Very, yeah. Young. What was the transition into discovering your sort of talents in other performing arts areas like acting? Yeah, I mean, I think that was sort of the start of it. I was also a very high-energy child. And my parents were just kind of trying to shove me into whatever they could to sort of give themselves a break.

Yeah. But from there, from the gymnastics and the dancing, I realized that I liked doing that. So then I wanted to go to a performing arts high school. So I auditioned for the performing arts high school in my area, which was called Wexford Collegiate. I got in there and then, you know, gravitated more towards theater and dance. I can sing a little but not really that well. and not like Broadway-esque singing. And so, yeah, from there it just sort of kind of happened.

We had like a guest speaker come to the school for the drama class for the seniors. Or not the seniors, just for like the drama class. And he was an on-camera acting coach that did like a little seminar thing with us. And then from there, I don't remember if I approached him after the class or he approached me, but I started taking classes with him afterwards, and then he introduced him to my agent, and then I started doing auditions, and that's kind of how...

I remember being secretive about it, though, because my parents were really strict, and they didn't, like... We lived in the suburbs of Toronto, and... Oh, God, I just sounded so foreign. Toronto. I was in the suburbs of Toronto.

I've been away from home for too long. Toronto. And so, yeah, we... You know, they didn't... they're immigrants. Like they didn't, I don't have like any ties to the industry from my family. So they didn't really understand it. They didn't think it was serious.

It was more of just like a yeah, let or do it, like whatever thing. But then they started noticing that I'd be at home like running my lines for auditions instead of doing my homework. Yeah. So then they imposed this rule that I'd have to read a book every week. And every week I'd have to submit a book report to my parents. Wow. And if I did that, then I was. allowed to audition the following week, but if I didn't, then I had to, like, cancel all my

auditions. That's great. Yeah, that's hard for respect them. Every home, whatever it is shaped like for a child actor, should be that way. Right. Yeah. I mean, it was your first role that you got in DeGrassey? Because I saw your audition for that, and it involved a lot of gymnastics. Like, you had to do the splits. You did a backhand spring, maybe. Yeah, I, it was one of the first ones for sure but it was also um i think i first auditioned for a different character if i remember correctly again i might have early on said Alzheimer's i don't know i it's a hard it's a hard it's a hard time to remember for a lot of yeah also traumatizing so like i said earlier probably blocking a lot out but we're here to unlock it i might i should have scheduled the therapy session

after this but um yeah i think i auditioned for a different role and i didn't or maybe it had been cat I don't remember but it was something they were like we're gonna maybe bring you in for something else like create a character like they liked me

but I didn't really fit for whatever it was so then maybe that's when I did that role and they wrote in the gymnastics because they knew I could do gymnastics I don't remember if that was part of it I could also be making all of this up

at least some of it's true something must be true there must be a nugget in there of truth Nina, I heard you say in another interview that you kind of had this feeling of being othered as a kid. Your family life didn't look so much like the family lives of the people around you in Toronto. And I wonder how that feeling has evolved for you over time. Do you still feel that way or have you kind of found confidence in your own skin?

100%. I feel much differently now than I did that. And it's so funny to look back, especially because Toronto is such a multicultural city and everyone is from somewhere else and no one. Like there is no real, I guess there is like the white Canadian norm. But for the most part, like a lot of, there's a lot of transplants. And so it's funny to me that I felt that way. But I definitely felt it. It's the cultural part of it that, you know, my parents didn't speak English and also the fact that, you know,

I don't want to say that we were struggling because every time I say that in an interview, my mom then later yells at me. She's like, we were fine. You're a little brat. But I think it was just comparing. So we were fine, mom. We were fine.

But, you know, I guess I was comparing myself to my peers. And so some of the circle that I ran and, you know, they had new clothes and, you know, they're, it just, we would shop at places where it would be like secondhand clothes or I remember my first thing that I was like one day I really just want to have like a full closet of just like clothes that are that no one's worn before

was my goal as a kid like I remember being like and now it's so funny because all I want is to wear a vintage clothing thrifting is even really popular with like my 14 year old they all love to thrift yeah they say it actually in a way that it's clearly very cool because I don't I think it was when I was that age. No, I don't think it was either for me at least. Or at least that's how I perceived it. Like, so much of it is in your own head. And, and, um, but I definitely, I definitely wanted to fit in with, like, all the other girls and, like, shop at all these stores that were, like, very American.

I wanted everything to be American or Canadian and, like, very, you know, I just wanted to fit in. And I just always felt like I didn't. And we'll be right back. Hey there, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus. I'm back with a new season of Wiser Than Me, the show where I sit down with remarkable older women and soak up their stories, their humor, and their hard-earned wisdom. Every conversation leaves me a little smarter and definitely more inspired. And yes, I'm still calling my 91-year-old mom, Judy, to get her take on it all. Wiser than me from Lemonada Media is out now. wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, it's Leah Greenberg. And Ezra Levin, you might know us as two of the lead organizers of the No King's protests. We're also the co-founders of Indivisible, the grassroots movement organizing against Trump's regime.

And this is What's the Plan? Your weekly guide to the state of our democracy and how we fight back. This is not canned talking points. It's a real live discussion space for the pro-democracy movement. We wrestle with strategy together. We take your top-voted questions in real time. And we talk about the most impactful actions we can take right now. Democracy is a participatory sport.

The fascist win when we sit on the sidelines. What's the plan is about how we get into the game? What's the plan available Friday, January 23rd, wherever you get your podcasts? Subscribe, recruit, discuss, organize, and win. That's the plan. Nina, I'm like trying to figure out how to ask this question without a rejection by you. But you're so beautiful. And you look the same as you did as a young age.

Thank you. So I always feel like when someone's very beautiful. and let's get on with the interview. I'll be here. She's like cast for, you know. On the ground. Your character in Vampire, by your daughter is like famously beautiful. But so I always imagine that like when someone's, you know, that way that everyone wants to be around you,

is sort of, was that not your experience? Because people like to be around attractive people. Like that's just a thing. You know, there's like pretty privilege and all that. So. Oh, I've never heard of that one. That's the new one for me. Yeah. Pretty privilege.

I mean, I get it. It makes sense. I've never heard that term. I don't know I mean Look Being beautiful is objective And I don't think

I think you need to feel pretty To also I don't know I just didn't feel pretty For a really long time And we're also Speaking of formative teenage years Like we're not talking about the fact that

Like I had a unibrow So let's talk about it then Let's talk about it I have a fucking unibrow Am I just where? How long did you have a unibrow? Brow for. At what point to be

at a bit? Definitely, like, great sixth graduation was rocking the unibrow because I've seen the photos still have. Yeah.

But not, like, at that point, I just didn't know. Yeah. You know, like, once I was made away, then they went, like, invisible.

Then I overplucked them to a degree where, like, you couldn't see them anymore, and we thought they'd never come back. Yeah. And I had, like, a chubby phase. I had, like,

my teeth were really mess. up so I wore braces for two years with the elastic things that connect the top to the bottom. I didn't feel beautiful. Yeah, like there was nothing. Like I definitely grew into my confidence and learned how to, you know, also I had really curly frizzy hair and so some of my girlfriends would come over. Once we started to like care about how we looked, my girlfriends would come over in the

mornings and we would take the clothing iron and a towel. on the counter and like iron our hair with the clothing iron but it was awkward because like you can only go so far there's a line somebody's getting burnt burning their face as well then anybody ever burn themselves I don't think anyone luckily burnt their faces

maybe our arms but there was like a distinct line it would be like frizzy up until here and then stick straight to the bottom I hope you have a picture of this somewhere Nina I'm sure I'm sure I do but we thought our parents didn't know what we were doing, like, that we'd, like, all come out with, like, perfectly straight hair.

We thought we were being so subtle about it. But anyway, yeah, so I definitely grew into understanding how to take care of myself and how I wanted to look and feel. And, and, yeah, I mean, I definitely, I'm not saying I was, like, a loser and had no friends in school. Like, I definitely had friends and bopped around different friend groups. but yeah does that answer your question

I don't know and then obviously with the show once the show came out you're being styled by wardrobe designers and you get a stylist and you do all these things and as I've grown up I've probably

look I'm in my 30s now so yeah now now I probably feel the most beautiful that I've ever felt because I feel most confident I know who I am or I'm trying to I'm getting closer to knowing who I am

Yeah, always getting closer. Yeah. And yeah, so it's just, it's a work in progress for sure. Nina, we have a couple questions. We always ask everyone about middle school, and then we'll talk about your career. I'll just, I'll combine them. Do you remember your first love or crush and heartbreak, and do you have an embarrassing story from those years you could share with us?

Okay. First, people don't name names, right? actually some people every time our previous guest just did but actually I would say it's almost 50 50

yeah and when they do they name first and last yeah sometimes middle well you kind of don't forget your first yeah

it's true I don't now I'm insecure no pressure no pressure whatever you want to do I don't think I should say name for his sake

but um yeah starts with an E and ends of the D and what is it rhyme with. Is it Ed?

No. That would be really funny. No, it's not. It's Ed Harris, actually. No. Yeah, so yeah, I think I was

14, probably. I mean, I had a lot of, like, I think I'm in love with that, but it wasn't reciprocated kind of people before. I love, I have to say, I just love that, like, it's so many, it tends to be women who are in who are still so, I mean, Nava and Sophie are great examples,

you are still so in touch with that spirit. Because like you, there's a similar, you all kind of tend to do this really funny thing which is like, I'm so in love. And that is what it is. That's the feeling, but you just never see men say that at all. Like at all. They don't, at all.

And so I'm just appreciating that for a moment. So sorry. So go on, go on. I, there was this boy in high, it was high school, I was in the ninth grade, which in the States, you guys call that freshman. Yeah. Yeah. I was my freshman year, freshman year. And he was like a skater boy.

Oh. And see you later boy. See you later boy. Yeah. Exactly. And it was the first time, I think it was like mutual. We were both really into each other. And he like smoked weed.

He was super edgy and like And I do I have noticed like looking back like I did have like a very all-American Like my type is like like we were talking about like the all-American thing because it's so different than what I am He was like very all-American looking I don't remember I think you played lacrosse Wow Yeah Yeah

Very you know Yeah that's a cool one Like every jock movie And yeah we dated for I think a year I'm not mistaken. He's who I lost my virginity to. Oh, big love. Yes, yes.

And then, you know, when it ended, it was the end of the world. As you all remember, I'm sure. And now I'm fine. I'm sure he's fine. But, yeah, at the time, it was like the end, yeah, at the end of the world, it was like, I can't believe it. I don't know what I'm going to do. Like, life's over. But, yeah, I just remember, what was that song?

Help me out here. Do you guys remember Gray's Anatomy, that one song? The chasing cars? Yes, that was so fast. That's the iconic Grey's Anatomy song. Yeah. So I think that song was like popular because of Grey's Anatomy. You're going to have to, that's, that's three notes.

I've been rewatching Grey's Anatomy actually just recently. It's so funny. God, we'll do it all that one. Yeah. Yeah, every. Yeah, that one. Yeah. So that one had just come out, and I don't even know if it related to the moment,

but it was like a sadish song. Yeah. And I was in the car and just like crying so hard, just like listening to the song over and over again. Pretty dangerous now, I think it's looking back. Should have probably pulled over. Couldn't see. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's really sweet, Nina. Yeah. And then an embarrassing story? I think that covers. embarrassing enough. We have some people who, like, slipped in public, but if you don't have one, you don't have one.

Did you ever slip in public? It's like all I do. I'm so clumsy. My friends, like, I should be bubble-wrapped, is the truth of the matter. Yeah, I get hurt all the time. Walking is challenging for me in any kind of shoe. And then I just, I've noticed that, like, I get so into whatever conversation I'm having

when I'm walking on the street talking to someone the rest of the world is gone Is that happening right now? Might be And we're lucky that we're sitting Like this is actually a very safe environment for me to be having a very intense conversation with But yeah no I've run into poles and inanimate objects

Oh that's great I like that I mean I'm sorry I mean it's just yeah It's unexpected It's very relatable And I have weak ankles So high heels and me do not mesh very well.

Oh, actually, I have a lot of... We can just talk for the next hour just about my embarrassing stories. Go, we can just do with you. Sure one, share one. So my shoulders dislocate pretty frequently. Same. It started in the gymnastics days.

Oh, geez. Yeah. That's kind of why I had to stop. You should get like workman's comp from that or something. I mean, it just feels like... I can imagine there's a lot of former gymnasts who have that, Yeah, well, I'm also like a double extend. Oh, okay. So I'm very bendy.

And then on top of that, like, I want to not think of you of wood here. I've never broken a bone. Wow. Aside from my baby toe. Me too. Same. Twice. Twice.

I have it right now. Oh, no. Yeah, it's okay right now. It's okay. It's the only one I know. That's so nice. I'm so glad you're okay. Yeah.

But it's weird because I do crazy stupid shit all the time and I should have a lot more broken things. Oh, I forgot to knock. But yeah, no, just the baby broken toe. Other than that, everything, like, just bends, and, like, my ligaments are destroyed. But, like, other than that, my shoulders constant.

And they dislocated the most inconvenient times. Like, I'll be, it's happened. I can't tell you how many times snowboarding, but it just pops off in the middle of, like, when I fall, like, shoulders out. And I have to get somebody to put it back in. when I was doing... Oh my God.

It's so painful. It's so painful. I've of course heard of this before, but the way you're describing it, I imagine like an action figure whose arm just falls off. Yeah. Like the way you're describing it, it's just like pop. Exactly. And then it's like, it's really out. And it's out and it just hangs there.

And the only way to do it, like you can only do it yourself. Like someone else can't. Right? No, no. You actually can't do it yourself. Somebody else has to do it for you. I mean, actually, no, I think you can like... walk into a wall and put it back in.

But something has to like... So usually what they do is like if Sean or whoever's physically next to me has to pull on my arm so that it comes out and then it... And it like realign it. It realigns, yeah. The people that are watching on video

will see the visual of that. But it happened right before I was about to go on air with Conan O'Brien. Is this the one where you did the whole backbendee thing? Because I think you were on more than once. Yeah, been on more than one. It was the, we did like a fight sequence, like an action movie fight sequence on air live. That's crazy.

And that sounds fun. While preparing and like practicing backstage, my shoulder fell out. While I was like throwing a punch or something, it was like, eh. Yeah. That's really charming. I mean, it's charming in the retelling. Yeah. And not in the moment.

I'm sorry. Yeah, it's okay. That's something I live with every day. And it's fine. It's part of my life. Nina, I think we're going to move. into talking about your career and we have to bring up vampire diaries. I watched it as a teenager, loved it.

Watched it. Thank you. You played two characters. Three, right? Four, technically. Four characters? Two main ones and then four overall, yeah. Wow.

What was that like? That must have been a challenge. How do you feel it affected your growth as an actor? It was, I'd say it affected my growth as a human too, because Like I said, I was like slowly, like, gaining my confidence. And when I got the show, I was Elena. And, you know, then when they introduced Catherine, it was like all of a sudden more, like, you know,

digging deeper into, like, my sexuality and, like, who I am as a person because, like, Catherine was so sexual. And I can't say I have a lot to relate to with Amara and the other one, because they were, like, back in the olden days. but yeah, no, it was definitely challenging just from like a work perspective, from like hours. I mean, Penn, you know the hours on any TV show or movie, but especially, like, you guys shoot a lot at night for you, no?

Not as much as you would think the first season we did. Okay, but not... With Marcus Seaga. Oh, yeah, yeah. He did vampire. Oh, that's... I remember. You know what, he has...

He told me some not crazy stories or anything, but I'm remembering that now, yeah. Yeah. So he, you know, especially in the first season and the second season, like the hours are so long. And usually when you're in a show, you have scenes off and breaks. And when you're playing two characters in the scene scene talking to each other, there's no breaks. So it was like physically very demanding. But also kind of, you know, the dream as an actor to get to play many things is from like a creative standpoint. really interesting. I learned so much. I learned so, so much. I call it like actor boot camp.

Did you have any little rituals or anything you did to sort of like switch between them? Because I do, I'm not saying this to just like compliment you, but I remember when I would watch it thinking that you were better than most actors at playing two different parts. Like usually when actors play two parts, I think it's the same person. But with you, I was like, I would forget that you were the same actress. Like I would really think of them as different people. Yeah. Oh, cool. Thank you. They were very different. For me, it was like a very physical thing. Like, I needed the hair to look different and the makeup and the way I walked. And, like, once I would transition into that as they were, like, putting that all on me, I could, like, that was the one little break. It would be, like, 45 minutes where they'd switch me over.

And it kind of gave me the time to sort of, and it was weird. I'm not a method person at all, I think. but in that moment when I was doing that I think I had tendencies unintentionally because I would notice that I'd like when they'd call cut and I'd be talking to the crew or some of my friends I would start to like say like you know

cheekier things and just be a little bit more of like I'd just talk different and I unintentionally just like stayed in that but yeah it's weird it's hard I don't know I think I needed to do that in that specific instance but yeah Yeah, it's cool.

How has your understanding of love evolved over the years? Is there anything you can tell us about love and what you've learned about it? Yeah. So much. We've all... Tell us about love. Yeah. You know, I mean, I think it's funny because I started going to therapy later than my peers.

And so I feel like I'm learning a lot about love. in the last, probably since right before COVID or like COVID. Yeah. Because I finally had to be, like, was forced to be in one place by myself and with my thoughts. Right, right.

Yeah. And lo and behold, they, they were a lot. So I had to see, I was like, I need to talk to somebody. This is a lot. I don't know what to do with myself. Like, I'm going crazy. And, you know, I've, like anyone from that first love that I was telling you about

to where I am today I mean the first word that comes to mind is just healthier and like I remember it's so interesting my therapist is talking about like comparing everyone focuses so much on the familial relationships obviously with like your parents and like oh you'll marry your father or your mother someday I've never heard that before yeah I'm sure you never heard that

Yeah, huh? But what was, like, especially poignant for me was that, like, nobody had talked to me yet about, like, my, the sibling relationships. And then when I tracked back at the kinds of people that I was dating, like, I really was sort of, like, the characteristics of my brother were more prevalent and the partners that I was attracted to

that maybe wasn't necessarily that healthy. Because, like, my brother's five years older than me, aka, like, way cooler than me and wants nothing to do with me when you're a kid. And so, and my parents always forced him to hang out with me and he wouldn't want to. So, like, my idea of love for a long time was like... There's a man who doesn't want to be around. Basically, yeah.

I'd be, like, attracted to people that, like, wanted nothing to do with me. And so, I mean, obviously, that's like a blanket statement. That's not all the men that I've been with. And so I don't want this, like, speaking of clickbait, let it be clear. I don't want people out there. All you journalists listening, don't start, like, singling out individuals because that's not... But, you know, it's happened in the past. You guys going to do what they're going to do.

I can't control them. I'm kidding. So, yeah, so, like, over the years, I just, I feel like healthier relationships are, are what is what I've learned to, like, gravitate towards. And, yeah. You never wanted unhealthy relationships, though, so. No, I wasn't intentional. Yeah, so what helped you? I feel like I'm still learning a lot about how to attract and be attracted to health and relationships. What have you, what has helped you to be healthier or to like be attracted to a healthy relationship? Like sincerely, I would love to know. I mean, just honestly, focusing on me. That's such a stereotypical thing to say, but like not being so like trying to, it goes back to like the fitting in, like trying to be the perfect person for someone else instead of.

trying to be the perfect person for myself and then the perfect person not that there is a perfect person but the right person will you'll be attracted to that kind of person because you're being your most authentic self and i think i've had moments of that throughout the years where i've like been that naturally but then you obviously lose your way or you repeat patterns or um you end up being attracted to the kind of guys that are like your brother who wanted nothing to do with you and so you chase instead of being chased and so yeah i think once i had that like conscious decision to sort of like do me it yeah i found that i tracked the right kind of energy nina we had an intern shout out to faki who put together a lot of this research and he wrote a really

funny note but he was convinced that sean and your mom are best friends so uh i just want to know on behalf of tafaki way in are shan and your mom best friends they really do you really do you love each other. It's so cute. It's like my mom is, ugh, she's, it's so hard to describe unless you've met her,

but she's just like a ray of sunshine. She sounds amazing. She's so positive. Yeah, she's like an artist and she's just, she lives in France. She started this company where like people go to France

or Italy with her to paint and drink wine and eat cheese. Cool. For 10-day vacations. I call it like adult summer camp or I call it like spring break for a,

adults. Yeah. Old people or old people. You have to be able to take 10 days off, have the means and the money to do that, and then also have an interest in painting. And a tolerance for lactose. Exactly.

Exactly. That's funny. Yeah, and so, although no, in Europe, you can kind of eat cheese even though. That's true. It's not. Why is everything better there? Everything's so much better there.

Can we do this podcast? If I ever come back, can we do it in France? Sure. It's part of Nina's writer. Hey, serious, can we move the thing to Italy? Sure thing, Penn. We've got nothing but money that we're handing out to everybody. They won't even give you anything about peanuts.

I know. They don't even have fucking bananas here. They weren't a banana desert. They don't even have them at CVS anymore. Oh, my God. What were we talking about? I don't remember. Your mom and Sean.

Yes. Yeah, so, like, we went to visit my mom in France, and he got a taste of her little, like, slice of life, which was so, I mean, it's so simple, but it's so, like, great. Yeah. He just bikes around everywhere and paints and, like, eats food, and, I don't know, it's just, like, very picturesque. She lives in this, like, beautiful medieval town.

And so... Everything. Literally, there's not one thing I've heard about. about your mom that doesn't make me go, that doesn't make me lean in. In all of our research, which is again, Tafaki's research, I just want that to be clear. Any time I say that I've researched anything, it's on a document. Well, I did listen to, not, I didn't get to finish it,

but I did listen to your episode that you did with your brother on sibling revelry. And I think it was your brother that mentioned that your mom used to be, and she still maybe does a little bit of it on the side. She used to restore paintings that had been ruined like in like fires or... Where does it end? Yeah, that's so cool.

That's kind of how... If we're being honest, that's kind of how it started. Wow. That's like her first love is like she was obsessed with like you know when you go into a church and it's like a century old church

and everything... Not in America. Yeah, a lot of Americans don't actually. No, maybe Americans don't. I only into recently, yeah. Okay. But in Europe, there's like, these incredibly old, beautiful churches.

And so somebody over the years has to go in and fix them or they're extremely destroyed and so that you have to create it. So she studied art restoration and got her master's degree. And so she's the person who goes in. It's amazing. But obviously that doesn't pay a lot of money. So she had to pivot at a certain point. But yeah, on the side every now and then if there's something that comes up,

she can do it. her full time anymore. Yeah. Stick around. We'll be right back. Only 18 states require sex ed to be medically accurate. And relationship classes, let's fix that. I'm Shan, an A-Sect certified sex educator with a master's in psych. And on my podcast, Lovers by Shan, we make learning about love as mind-blowing as making it. Celebrities and fascinating people share an intimate story. Then we uncover the lesson for all of us. Watch Lovers by Shan from Lemonada Media on YouTube or listen wherever you like your podcast.

We have a final question. I ask everyone, but I want to ask you a question before that, which is that you're super popular on social media. You have a huge following. You seem to keep your Instagram like a pretty positive place. But I've noticed that you do kind of clap back sometimes when people make comments. I don't know if clapback's the right word. It seems like you actually... I like it. You reframe the comment. Like you do it in a positive way. No, but she does it in a way that's actually very... like you reframe the comment. I haven't, I think it's really cool. And I was just curious why do you do that?

Like, why do you have any examples? Do you have any examples if I can, yeah, I'm going to give you an example. Someone here commented about your body. I didn't see their comment, but you said, thank you for your concern. I'm sorry to hear you weren't doing well. I hope that you're taking care of yourself and doing better now. I'll also let you know that I do eat burgers and fries and all kinds of yummy things all the time. You should do the same. Eating everything and working out, which I do is the healthy solution for people who have problems. Body shaming people on the other hand is not healthy and very rude. I don't do that, so you should also do the same.

Have a wonderful day. Yes. See, the same dignity I saw in the patient thief? No, no. That's right. I want to read one more because I thought it was really well said. You said to the person, it's a radical concept called time. I know crazy.

It's what happens when it goes by. People get older. It probably won't happen to you because you seem to be different than the rest of us. But I'm 30 and damn proud of it. Have a lovely day. Yeah. That's salty. Yeah.

I don't know. I mean, look, I was probably having a bad day and was also feeling a certain way, and they just, like, hit on a nerve. But at the same time, so, like, I got upset, and then I was like, wait, no, this is, like, this is the thing that happens, and it's going to keep happening. And I remember seeing something from, like, Julia Roberts, like, somebody said something mean about her aging. And I was just like, it's what happens to people. We all have the exact same outcome.

Mm-hmm. Which is death, I just remember. Yeah. Thanks, Ben. Just want to look around the room. Everybody in the eye is death. Yeah. You too.

I don't care. How old you are. You're going to die. He's looking at a baby right now, one of the staff member's babies. Yeah. And so it was just, yeah, it was just like, I don't know. I think it was that the person said that I, that I've aged since the vampire diaries. Or, like, I don't look the same as I did when I was on the vampire diaries.

And I was like. That was 20 years ago, breath? Well, it was like 10 years at that point probably. But to 10 years is still. Yeah, like when I was 20, when I started, of course I look different. And I'm proud that I look different. I should look different. And I honestly think I look better now.

Because I look like I'm not as skinny as I wasn't. To add to the next question, it's like at one point, there was like a, she's lost too much weight or she looks too skinny or something. And I was just like, I'm eating. I don't know. I eat. I work out. I actually love eating food. It's like a big thing for me. I can't eat gluten or dairy. And that's frustrating. But you know what? Sometimes I still do eat it. I sometimes still go to McDonald's and have that big mac, even though it'll make my stomach hurt because I'm like, I just fucking feel like it. And I'll deal with the consequences later. So yeah. I wanted to politely in a very kind way because I didn't want to perpetuate the like mean. talking and be like, you suck and you're, like, there's no, that's not productive. It was just like, look, like, think about what your comments are and be aware that there is another person on the other side of this.

And we're not just robots that have no feelings. Like, it does affect us. Yeah. Yeah, I think. Often I'll see people, like, on TikTok a lot, people will comment something really negative. Oh, there was a trend, speaking of TikTok, there was a trend that I had, like, plastic surgery or something. They were like, oh, she like did her eyelids.

And like there was this person that went on that was like a specialist that like talked about all the things I'd done to my face. And I was like, what? It's so crazy. I was like, no. Absolutely not. And then this other plastic surgery came on on TikTok. No, I didn't comment, but someone sent this to me. I saw this.

Another plastic surgery, this is actually like not necessarily a great story because it's like a burn to me. But she debunked the person's theory. theories about all the things I'd done to my face, apparently. And she was like, actually, no, she's just aging. Like, the sunken and eyelid theory is just a sign of aging. Gravity. Yeah.

It's not like what you guys are saying. And I was like, yes. One second. Yeah, I feel like I'll see. Sometimes someone will leave a negative comment. And if the creator, whoever they were commenting on, writes back, all of a sudden it's like oh my god sorry bestie didn't mean it love you yeah you're doing amazing i think they just expect that you won't see it yeah um it we're taking a little bit of a turn here

back to where we started okay if you could say ask do anything um your 12-year-old self you could go back what would you say i think i would tell her to not to embrace her culture different differences and not be so insecure about all that and just sort of it's so hard but like just be okay with who you are because who you are is enough and you don't have to try to be all these different things because it's not like it's just so obsessed with not like being like everyone else and fitting in and it's like now I celebrate that side of myself so much and I feel like it makes me unique

I have a different perspective and I'm so proud of who I am now so I feel like I would just sort of maybe tell her what happens later in the future like this is what's going to happen to you you're going to be good, don't worry just trying to forget about it though

yeah just don't worry about everyone else and stop looking at everyone else just like focus on yourself thank you so much Nina so nice to meet you It was a pleasure meeting all of you. Thank you so much. Want to listen to your favorite Lemonada shows without the ads?

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