Podcrushed - [Rerun] Victoria Pedretti

Episode Date: August 21, 2024

Today we're rerunning our episode with the effervescent Victoria Pedretti. From S2: "Our most requested guest of the season, Victoria Pedretti (YOU, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood) drops by the pod… for the second time this season! Hear her thoughts on the commonalities of fame and bullying, iconic moments on YOU, and why it’s okay to acknowledge when things aren’t okay."    Follow Podcrushed on socials: TikTok Instagram XSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada Hey crushies, it's Nava, the only one who refers to you guys by your proper name. Miss you guys. We don't have a new episode for you this week, but we are bringing back one of our all-time, most beloved episodes with the one and only, the queen, Victoria Padretti, would take a bullet for her, I think. This episode is so good. If you haven't listened, you're in for a treat. And if you have listened, give it another listen, because she's amazing. and it just really hits on every level, I think.

Fans of the show really wanted to ask a few you questions, so are you guys down if we ask you a couple of questions about you? Sure, ask questions about me. I mean, that's what this is. Yeah, we're here to interview you. The show. It's like she gets it. Victoria's playing with me.

This is Pod Crushed. The podcast that takes this thing out of rejection, one crushing middle school story at a time. And where guests share their teenage memories, both meaningful and mortifying. And we're your hosts. I'm Nava, a former middle school director. I'm Sophie, a former fifth grade teacher. And I'm Penn, a middle school dropout.

So this week has been one of my favorite weeks being a member of this team. Because we got to spend almost a full week together. And it felt a little bit like a field trip for me and Sophie and David, because we flew out to New York to record this guest, who is really special. hear about in a moment. But it's just been so fun. I've had so much fun with all of you guys. Lock Chee 4. Yeah, we're still in Lockheed 4.

The real ones know. Yeah. It was so fun. Nava and David and I stayed all together in the same Airbnb. It did feel like a field trip. That's exactly right, Navajo. Partly Forrest is what field trips are. They're not voluntary. Yes, it's forced.

Yes, exactly. But we also had dinner with Mona Chalaby, who was a guest of ours on the podcast in the early days. So that was really sweet, getting to hang out in person together. Yeah, and you guys came over. It was really nice to get to spend time with your family, Penn. Yeah, it was really nice everybody to be together.

Some of you might have seen we have a TikTok account, and Penn has a TikTok account, and we actually duetted a listener of this show. Her handle is Pinky Ruth. Her name is Lauren. And Penn called her a day one. And I just wanted to shout out a few other day ones, because there are a few people who've been listening to the show that have, like, from the very first episode, been giving us encouragement, leaving comments.

And I just want to say that we see you, we recognize you. hi to retro Miranda That's Miranda That's the dearest one of day ones I'm aware of Yeah, tell us Well Miranda's been a long time supporter Actually when I was on tour in Toronto

Is that accurate? I think it was Yeah, anyway, we got out to dinner once So sweet She's just always been a long time fan So what's up Miranda And then we have Rosangel, Carol And Pastor Natalie These are the friends that I'm aware of

who've been listening from the very beginning and always giving us encouragement. So thank you. Thank you. If you'd like to be shouted out on future episodes, you have to listen more. And comment. Tell your friends.

Prove to us that you are a ride or die. Okay, let's dive in. Today's guest is without a shadow of it. Well, you know, I mean, so there might be a shadow, but there's basically no doubt our most requested guests of the entire season. Victoria Padretti The actor and activist

You may know as my co-star Love Quinn Later Love Quinn Goldberg From Netflix's You You might know her as Nell Crane from The Haunting of Hill House Or films like

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood She graced us with her presence In the studio Here in New York City Now, of all the guests We've had on the show Victoria holds A special significance

In the Pod Crushed Canon because you'll hear This is actually the second time We interviewed her The first time was over a year ago when we were little baby podcasters who didn't know how to work our equipment. Well, we'll get into all of that. You'll hear. Victoria is so kind and empathetic and just lovely to be around. You already knew that.

So stick around. We'll be right back. Does anyone else ever get that nagging feeling that their dog might be bored? And do you also feel like super guilty about it? Well, one way that I combat that feeling is I'm making meal time, everything it can be. for my little boy, Louie. Nom-Num does this with food that actually engages your pup senses with a mix of tantalizing smells, textures, and ingredients.

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Maybe there's another one in that area. And now, new leads that could solve these cold cases. They could be a victim that we have no idea he killed. Stolen voices of Dull Valley breaks the silence on August 19th. Follow us now so you don't miss an episode. Victoria, thank you. Not just for being here today, but for doing this. Twice. So a little bit of background context. A background context, that's redundant, as is having Victoria here. Because the first interview we ever did was with Victoria. It was over Zoom, and I'm going to call both of us out. I think you either didn't press record. I also didn't route the mic correctly, because this was like the first interview. We had sent you a mic, and that was confusing. We did not give you good directions. So it was like a technical snafu, and we had a whole episode that we loved, that we

We wanted to be the first episode and we couldn't use it. Yeah. We're heartbroken. And since then we've had all these people commenting like, when are you going to get Victoria? How come you've had this person from you, but not Victoria? Like we know it doesn't make sense. When we thought your audio was usable, I was going to re-record all of my audio as though it was spontaneous.

What a great acting challenge. Yeah, exactly. Honestly, I was like, yeah, I guess I can do it. I mean, I'm sure I can do it, but I was thinking, I was thinking of those two hours. I was like, man, this is going to be like really. anyway, so I finally text of Victoria being like, tail between his legs.

Yeah, is there any jams? A very long blue block. I was just like, I'm really sorry. Anyway, so Victoria has graciously agreed to come on again. Again. And so what I did was I didn't listen to any of the old stuff.

I was like, I'm going to let myself forget about as much of that as possible. And we're going to do take two. But it's not. just going to be the same old same all it's going to be no that was our first interview so we were frankly awful really underperform yeah actually we were all i wasn't going to say any things but she actually purposefully did not record she was like i can tell but she was like i'm not sending you this audio i really don't i i it sounds like me like i believe that i did not press record

but i don't i don't remember the conversation at all okay good that's good today will be fresh it's nice we haven't been able to do that many in-person interviews and Victoria is here shooting a film a film called pony boy pony boy here in New York and actually New Jersey actually oh wow yeah and you're doing a New Jersey accent which we won't ask you to do we are seeing we see the nails so that's something that so so maybe just let's start off as now it likes to say paint us a picture who were you what were the things you were going through. When I was in middle school, I was obsessed with the musical hair. I was obsessed with the civil rights movement. I was like really into social justice, the counterculture,

and it made me very unpopular. You know, I was trying to engage with other students about like political conversations. Kids were like, can you calm down? But I really cared about these things. I thought that they were important and that they affected me, even if I didn't have the ability to vote. Yeah. And I mean, you were right. Yeah. Did you have a close friend? Like, did you have anyone in your class who was like, yeah, I want to talk to you about politics? Yeah. I had one friend, Lily Frankel. We were both really into hair. I like that. I like that. We both like, we're really into talking about like the presidential election. That's when Barack Obama was elected for the first time. Yeah, that's also when when I was 13, I went to a Jewish summer camp. That was kind of the

first time that I really felt like I was becoming the person that I wanted to be and that I had the ability to define myself on my own terms. The truth of the matter is I was partially disruptive because the environment I was growing up in was very chaotic. And I think we don't take that into account with kids enough too. And they're like, why are they crazy? And then it's like, we don't know what they're going home to. So like there was a lot of chaos there. I'm being able to get away from that for like a whole month. It was so healing for me. even at 13 like

and I remember getting into the car and my parents just being like you seem different I'm like I am and I can't like say enough about those you know

teachers can do a lot of good and the counselors that I worked with I remember them me doing something maybe not disruptive but maybe a little mean you know

and I remember just somebody being like why did you do do that. You know, and just being asked that question, just being like, I don't know and I don't want to. Yeah. You know, this is just how I'm, this is just how I'm being taught to deal with things, you know? This is what's being modeled for me. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but I don't have to be that person. I can be whoever I want to be, especially when nobody knows who you are, you know, like I went by Tori at some camp. Really? Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, Tori or Toria?

Tori. Tori. Yeah. So this was in, I want to say Pittsburgh, but it wasn't Pittsburgh proper. No, I'm from the Philadelphia area. Yeah, okay. You're like, please. We've known each other for a few years, but whatever. I went to college in Pittsburgh. Okay, okay, okay. I also do not know my...

Northeast. I don't know my geography outside of New York State very well. It's embarrassing, actually. I'm just like, it's pretty close. When it's Philadelphia, do people say Pittsburgh? Are those the same? Is one a nickname for the other? Very far away from each other.

Yeah, hardly ever been there. Yeah, I grew up in Bucks County Which is a suburb of Philadelphia I remember Season 3, I think You were reading a book that has now become very popular By Gabor Mante Who we're actually gonna have on the show

No fucking way Yeah, that's how I thought You shut up! No, no, it's honestly I'm reading his book now The Myth of Normal I'm doing that Me too

But so Gabor Mote in these last couple of years Oh, my gosh. It's a giant book to carry around. She even has the book jacket. We can phone you in for that interview if you want, Victoria. Oh, my God, I will die. You'll be your special guest.

I'm a fan girl. I love that. But you were reading a book that, again, has now, I think, like, caught fire. I hadn't heard of it. And his name sounded vaguely familiar to me then. But anyway, it's called Scattered. And I know there's so many people who, like, have felt seen and identified by this book. I've heard him talk about ADD or ADHD

like sort of more marginally when he's talking about something else and I just remember you feeling really encouraged by that I mean through the lens of discussing something like being diagnosed with ADD like that part of my life definitely

made me feel like it was a defining factor in who I am as a person when were you diagnosed with ADD or ADHD? I think I was like seven. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's young. I was really young. And I think it was because I was so disruptive that they were like shuddered down.

Yeah, yeah. Like a huge part of being called disruptive was that teachers were pressing my parents to medicate me. And so that's something that happened very early on. Yeah. So I was medicated from the ages of like seven or eight to like 11, at which point, like I think it probably really affected the development of my. brain probably and so I'm like this and um you're actually never just like this that's actually what I do you're okay yeah I didn't grow I didn't eat I don't think it made me less disruptive yeah um but I was like on speed and like went through withdrawal when I was like

11 like this pretty hard drugs to put a kid on and also over the course of that you start to be kind of like ostracized because like I was like tested into like mentally gifted but was also in special ed and it's like a weird identity thing to be like just like what what is what am I and they'd be like we don't understand what to do with you and you're just like I'm sorry yeah you know like I'm 11 that's so hard that's wild Victoria the word disruptive when you said that. I was like, because when I was a teacher, that was a word that was thrown around so much because it's like kinder than, you know, they're causing trouble or their disruptive

felt nicer, but it is really an intense descriptor for a young child. I was asking questions. When I think back about it, I was really trying to engage in learning. But what they want in a public school, I mean, like, this is how I feel about it. They're trying to make tiny little capitalists who will go off

go off we love it we live for this go off let's talk about capitalism yeah that's what all comes back to a lot of the time it's true yeah um cool do do what they're told and serve the system and not serve themselves like disregard yourself completely actually like disregard your ideas or your thoughts or your feelings that don't exist within the realm of normal

Like, this system of, like, of capitalism that we exist in makes it so, like, people aren't allowed to be individuals, have differences, and have their needs met and create a community in which we can support each other understanding our differences and our strengths. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, in the school I worked at, actually, you know, each class was an integrated co-taught classroom. And so we had students all across, all every spectrum. and they had two focuses. One was anti-biased education, and the other was to engage all learners. And that's at a school that's doing their best. And they're still the disruptive kid.

Yeah, I know, exactly. But one of the things we would talk about a lot is coming to a place where we understand, we're not trying to teach kids to be independent, but to be interdependent, and that that's a beautiful thing, and that's what we want as our end goal. Because a lot of the time in education, we want to meet a kid. where they're at so that we can help them to become independent. But we kind of flip the scales and we're like, no, we actually want

to be interdependent. It's a beautiful thing to be interdependent. And I think when we say we want kids to be independent, we actually want them to be individualistic and not like turn to a community. And it's like you can't educate every child the same way. Not every child is meant to come out and be the same person. They have different talents. Our education has to

educate to bring out their talents, not what we think someone should be. When you say like, it's a diagnosis, there's a bunch of symptoms, and that becomes like this vicious cycle in which you're not really getting to understand an individual person. So people are dealing with you in that way,

and I think that can be quite dehumanizing. And it can feel very limiting. People have these lifelong histories that contribute to how they're developing as a person. It's so funny, I'm talking about this, and I'm like, oh, Bill Nye on there. And I'm like, girl, you have ADD.

No, wait a second, for some context, This table is covered in so many people's autographs and messages. And I too during interviews, I sometimes I zoned out. I'm like, oh, Leonard Malton. Like I noticed Denzel Washington has been at this table. Damn. But even if it's not like you're the ADDK, like you're a problem child. Like even that definition, like you're disruptive, you know, these kinds of things without thinking about the fact that they're coming from somewhere.

As children, we don't have control over our circumstances. I mean, we have different levels of control over our circumstances, even as adults. But as children, we really don't have that freedom. And so much of what's creating who we are is a product of the culture that we're living in, the larger culture we're living in, our home lives, our educational system. And so, yeah, I think taking that into account and being able to think about that more and process that more as we become adults and understand how we became the people that we are can be kind of fun and interesting and empowering. Well, Victoria, I feel like

you've started to sort of hint at this, but in one of your interviews, something that you said really, like, I don't know, it touched me. And you talked about what you wanted was friends and to feel like you belonged. And that's something that you still long for to the stay is to feel neutral about yourself, like not too high, not too low. And I was just wondering, like, in middle school, did you have friends? How are you with that journey now? Have you found that neutrality. I mean, I think having neutrality is really difficult, and maybe like something to aspire

towards, but never really get to. Like, I don't actually want to be neutral about things, you know, like, my dad used to say, this kind of goes back to the ADD thing, he was like, you should become a monk. Really? Because I was so indecisive. He was like, just have a life where everything's just kind of clearly laid out for where you're supposed to go.

And I do love to just sit and look out. Right. But see, that's kind of, I don't know, that's fascinating to me because... It's also a sensory thing. Like, a lot of us struggle with being overstimulated. So the idea of, I mean, meditation is very good for people with ADHD. I have many family members who are diagnosed with ADHD. I'm 99% sure I have ADHD, but I have not gone to go get a diagnosis because it's so expensive

and I don't need to from my work. But from what I've read about it and from what I know from my own experience is there's like a couple of things that can, like, get you to get up and do a task. One is urgency. Like if you've left it to the last minute and you have to do it, you'll sit down and do it. The other is desirability. Like if it's something you want to do, you're going to lock in and not eat, not drink, not do. I think oftentimes people think of ADHD as like maybe flighty or like, you know, you can't focus on one thing.

Sometimes it does look like that. Often it does look like that. Like you're switching subjects in your mind all the time. But then sometimes it's the completely opposite. You're in like a flow state. Totally. I mean, I'm very passionate about the things that I'm passionate about. And I really enjoy diving into that, like, flow state. But then it comes back to the idea that, like, okay, are we dealing with diagnoses?

Or are we dealing with individuals that have an entire health history, that have an entire life of the way in which they've experienced trauma to their physical body or their, like, soul, you know, like, and how that creates. an individual. I think a lot of us understand these things on a like instinctual level but we don't necessarily have the language in order to express how we're feeling, what we're seeing and like

working it out. Like even like like I have this thing with me like just in case. Just in case I get overstimulated I can just like touch this and like when I was in like middle school I would have had so much shame about that it's like a sponge like I'm holding a sponge that has like

It's shaped like a fish that has little, like, pokey things on it that you can just touch. Yeah. Yeah, here I'll pass it around. Everybody can touch the fish. That's really cool. I really like that. Yeah. This is really nice, actually.

Sophie's like, Ben, end it over. Stick around. We'll be right back. let's just real talk as they say for a second that's a little bit of an aged thing to say now that that that dates me doesn't it um but no real talk uh how important is your health to you you know on like a one to 10 and i don't mean the in the sense of vanity i mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well right you want to be less stressed you don't want to get sick when you have responsibilities um i know myself i'm a householder i have uh i have two children and two more on the way um a spouse a pet you know a job that sometimes has its demands so i really

want to feel like when i'm not getting the sleep and i'm not getting nutrition when my eating's down i want to know that i'm that i'm being held down some other way physically you know my family holds me down emotionally spiritually but i need something to hold me down physically right and so honestly i turned to symbiotica these these these these these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious and I'm telling you even before I started doing ads for these guys it was a product that I really really liked and enjoyed and could see the differences with

the three that I use I use I use the what is it called liposomal vitamin C and it tastes delicious like really really good comes out in the packet you put it right in your mouth some people don't do that I do it I think it tastes great I use the liposomal glutathione as well in the morning really good for gut health and although I don't need it you know anti-aging and then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8 which is really good for for I think mood and stress I sometimes use it in the

morning sometimes use it at night all three of these things taste incredible honestly you don't even need to mix it with water and yeah I just couldn't recommend them highly enough if you want to try them out go to symbiotica.com slash podcrush for 20% off plus free shipping That's symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. The first few weeks of school are in the books, and now's the time to keep that momentum going. I-XL helps kids stay confident and ahead of the curve. I-XL is an award-winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning. Whether they're brushing up on math or diving into social studies, it covers math, language arts, science, and social studies from pre-K through 12th grade.

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if there's something that's always stood out to me is maybe the way you talk about your relationship to your Jewish identity and your family as you were growing up, it seems to have informed like your creativity and it informs, I don't know, a lot of things. From the way in which I was talking about, taught to relate to my identity, it has a lot to do with, like a sense of duty in terms of

cultivating healing in the world. And I don't know, a lot of it comes back to like the story of Exodus for me too, like this idea that like, what is the line? I can't remember. It's like From the Old Testament? Yeah, from the Old Testament where it's like. I don't have an off book. Okay. Some people really got it right in their back pocket. When people do, I'm like, wow. Wow. But something like we should never treat people like strangers in our land because we were once strangers in Egypt. Wow. Wow.

I love that. We're a wandering people. I feel like Passover is a conversation about refugees all over the world that we retell every year. And so these things just kind of got into my brain as I was growing up. And I'm very proud to be Jewish. And I'm happy to be able to pass that sense of pursuing justice. I was thinking, oh, actually, disruptive is a really cool thing to be called. Right? Talk about social justice, too.

Yeah, to, like, disrupt the environment and it signals to the person in power, in this case, like, the teacher, the counselor, whoever, that, like, something's wrong. Like, if someone has to be disruptive, something's wrong with the environment, something needs to change. So it's actually cool. Should reclaim it. Yeah, well, I think leadership all over, whether it's teachers or in any kind of working environment, can often struggle to admit that they don't have all the answers. Yeah, that's true. And I think great leadership is the willingness to listen, you know,

because you're there to serve the people you're leading in part. Like, so. I also just wanted to point out when you said that someone asked you, that's really powerful because if they had like shamed you, which sometimes is like the impulse, like being a school administrator, a teacher at points like, you're like, how could you do that? Like, that was the wrong thing to do.

Yeah. But that might elicit in the person like defensiveness and no reflection on the behavior. Whereas, like, you had an opportunity to be like, I don't want to do that. Why did I do that? And that's really powerful. Yeah. I mean, like, I think learning that there are consequences is very important.

Understanding that you ought to take responsibility for what you've done is important. But I think that we have, I think we're moving away from it to the point where sometimes I hear, like, We need it. We need a little bit more punishment. I just let these kids do anything. But I think excessive punishment can definitely just shut a person down. You see that especially with toddlers It's so clear

Sometimes they can like throw something And like really hurt you You know And it's like You know It is the beginning of seeing like Wow it would be so easy to take that personally And get upset

And then to try and hold To toddler accountable for something Is if you really think about it It's insane It just doesn't make any sense What you have to show them is mercy Like that's the best thing Because then they learn how to soothe

And be like Oh that's it's yeah It's just like it's And then once in a while I'll just put him in a cage. He's really not getting it. With your friend, you mentioned... Lily?

Lily, Frankel. Were you, and you know, you both loved hair, and you both, like, were you both, like, little dramaturgs? Was drama becoming a thing then? Just in case our listeners who don't know what that is, hair is a musical. So it's not just like the thing that grows out of your head. It was one of the first rock musicals.

Oh, right. was drama becoming a part of your life then theater yeah yeah well middle school was the first time that you could okay middle school ready middle school was the first time that you could audition for the school musical and I had waited for this moment they were doing Into the Woods

oh yeah that's a great one that musical actually deals with a lot of very adult things um Lily Frankel got cast oh shit Lily Frankel comes back again And Izana, who was my best friend from elementary school, they both got cast. They were the only sixth graders you get cast, and I wasn't. Two of my closest.

Oh, that's hard. And I was devastated. That's really hard. And they also told me that part of why I wasn't cast was because I was, like, confident. Talking about an 11, 12-year-old, they said that they felt like I was too much of a diva. They did. I mean, I don't think I was perfect. but I was also 12 years old.

And I was very confident and excited and passionate about what I was trying to do. I mean, yeah, just for the record and for the listeners, Victoria, you are, you are, it's, I can vouch for that. Victoria is extremely committed.

I thought he was going to say, Victoria, is a diva. I was like, no, he's extremely committed. I really do feel like the intensity of your character love on the show you just grounding that crazy see here's the thing is

even as I'm about to call her crazy because you know the way I talk about Joe is obviously just ridiculous Yeah she's crazy Yeah she's crazy But like hats off to you as an artist I think when you're like on set And when you're playing her

Like you identify with her so much And again I think that's beautiful I think the way I view Joe In some ways limits the way I'm able to portray him Whereas like you know You really embrace her I think Or you I don't know

Is it accurate? to say that you like embrace your characters you like you do something very yeah to the point where when I was watching the third season we're just like I think it's the same it's in like the first episode like just starting it and we're like in the basement and I just killed Natalie and we're like yelling at each other I was like my mouth is a gape yeah I was like this is crazy I was like she's so fucking crazy you know because at that point I'm dead you know like I have a distance from it and now I'm watching it and I'm like no I was really in it Like, I was really, like, these are the circumstances.

This is her justification. And that's it. You know, like, I need to say these lines. They need to be felt completely. Yeah. You know, like, there's no room to be, like... Judgmental or analytical. Judgment or analytical of it.

Like, that's not my place. I mean, now I have my judgments. Like, I would say she's crazy. She's a serial killer. Like, she's, you know, but I also know exactly how she got to be, how she is. Yeah, actually. I have a very soft spot in my heart. She joked out.

with some really, like, almost problematic. Like, she's not a serial killer. This came out. This came out. We did an episode where, like, we're talking about the show because so many listeners ask questions about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Sophie, like, had some super hot take, like a shot.

Like, she was like, love isn't really, what did you say? She was like, Joe made love this way. I said. She wasn't a serial killer. Yeah. Her whole life made her that way. Yeah. And she used herself as a victim.

You know, like she doesn't see a space for her to, to, you know, I think go above her circumstances. She's always looking for justifications to explain what she's doing and what she did instead of doing the hard, disciplined, rigorous work of trying to better herself for herself, for her child, for her life, you know? Like she's just like, I'm a product of my circumstance, you know, as opposed to. to being like, maybe I should try meditating, you know? Yeah, like, like. Well, I think you played her, particularly in season three. You're amazing in season two, of course. But season three, oh, I am obsessed with you in season three.

You did such an incredible job. I think that's why I have such a soft spot for love. Anyway, we'll move on. Wait, no, actually, I want to say something. When Victoria came in, I said this off mic, because it was totally sincere, that when I was doing research for this show, I couldn't, I wasn't looking for them. Mine was sincere too, by the way.

Is this also mean that you're insincere on mic? Yeah, yeah. Usually it's all for show. I was doing research and, like, I kept reading reviews about Victoria and they were all positive. I wasn't looking for negative ones, but none came up. Usually you see both. And one of the reviews that really stood out to me, and I think it was about, it was not about Love Quinn. And I don't know if it was about Nell or the other characters, Blair.

What's her name? No. Danny. Danny. I don't know if it was about Nell or Danny. Well, it's the house. Why? I got her to Flare.

It's fine. That's pretty good. Good research. Flair was actually on Gossip Girl. Always reading it, that's Gossip Girl, aren't you now? You're late in Easter, right? I think it's very good that I never watched that show. Oh.

I don't think I ever quite realized. He's like, now my feelings about you have changed. I assume you went to. I remember when you told me that you were Gossip Girl, and I was like, oh. Spoiler. Now I don't need to watch it Because with you about either Nell or

Danny says that the thing about Victoria is that she With this character You feel every moment of anguish and grief Like through like in its absolute totality And I felt that way about love I was telling someone that there's like a moment in season three

I think it's when you're watching Joe Have sex with Shelita That character And you're realizing that he's picturing Marianne You're realizing that he's picturing another one and your face changes from like joy to anguish to anger all in one moment. And I'm like, how did you do that? Yeah, there was a little bit of that too.

Joy? I don't know how you did it. Like how can one person express all of these emotions in three seconds? Go acting now, but moving on. No, no, no, no, yes, it's called acting. I'm kidding. But Victoria, your face is very expressive. Yeah.

How do you do that? But also, we can feel your anguish. It is called acting. Your face is not as expressive. I once have, it's not. I'm just kidding. It's actually not. You know what my choice is?

Do nothing. Do nothing all the time. Although I did once have an interviewer, I won't name who they are, because I've forgotten. Wow. I did have a lot of people asking me, like, how do you do that with your face where you're very serious? And then you're like, you're like, you wouldn't fucking ask, you wouldn't ask, I'm trying to think of. You can't think of it because you would ask. My question is justified.

I was just thinking this. I was like, okay, I am a visual artist. Yeah, she knows. No, we know that's Danela. Yeah, De Angelo doesn't let anyone ask him anything. No, I'm a visual artist, and I'll, like, watch the video I made afterwards, or I'll look at a collage afterwards, and I'll realize why I did it and how it makes sense in the end product. So I feel like that's a valid question.

There's something about the quality of your acting that, like, it doesn't feel melodramatic. It doesn't feel soapy, but you. are playing every emotion, and some actors don't, but you do, and it works. And I don't know why, but it really Yeah, now we're going to start a podcast where we just comment on actors with no acting

experience whatsoever. I mean, I think I based a lot of my performance on what I saw Penn doing in the first season. Really? Actually. No, that's so sweet. No, for sure.

Like, because you've got the recipe, you know? Like, you know how to make a character. that is insane and yet sympathetic. Yeah, that's true. You know, and so I think a lot of what I was trying to do was just like match that energy. There you go.

See, now he's glad I asked the question. I think in terms of being like, I'm explaining for it. I think in terms of being like really expressive, like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Like I'm just existing in my imagination, and I think that I can overact sometimes

and I think that that's something that you know You have to be willing to Yeah like I'm like I'm Like I'm just trying to find The balance you know And and hopefully There is difference

From character to character Like I think I think you really need to see All of what Love is experiencing To go on that journey With her You know

Yeah I mean Maybe probably training as an actor contributed to it a bit? Yeah, what made you decide to go into acting and how did you fully get into it? I mean, I think it goes back to even middle school. Like, that happened. Then I was on crew because I was like, I'm going to get as close to this as I possibly can. Like, I really don't have pride about it.

Like, I just want to be a part of this. I want to be a part of this collaborative process. I want to be a part of this community. Like, every time you do a production, whether it's a show or a movie or a stage play, like you're building a tiny, like a little community. And it's so enriching. Talk about friendship, connection. Like, I was just on an artistic level, right?

Like, it's so life-giving. And so I just pretty consistently through like middle school and high school, like, didn't really get the lead. And like, I don't know. I think that's set just more fire under my butt, you know, to be like, I'm going to show you. You didn't give me an opportunity. I'm going to show you.

Like, that was really a huge motivating factor, if I'm going to be honest. Because that could have gone. other way, I feel like. It did not discourage me. I was like, I don't know why you're not casting me. Like, I know that I have something to offer, you know, and I want to figure out if it's not, if it's not

working, like how I'm going to get there. Yeah, and then, you know, then you go to middle school, high school. I haven't one of you did, I didn't get into the musicals, but I got into the play. So you still weren't? Still wasn't really getting cast. Did he get in the musical, but I got into the play, but I could do the one act. And the one acts when it's the one act competition,

but then I won an award at the one act competition. So I was like, okay, okay. Somebody likes me. People are responding. I'm getting laughs. That gets you for sure. I'm getting laughs. I'm getting tears.

People are responding to it. That's what I want. That's what I get out of theater and film and television. You know, that's, we have the possibility to have a catharsis together. It's spiritual. It's real, you know? And then I was like wanted to drop out of high school very desperately. I will never forget, like, being at a Joe's,

crab shack and being like mom let me drop out of high school to like perform uh probably or is it whatever just to be out of school be out of school primarily but also like yeah i could just like go somewhere and try to pursue this and figure something out for myself like i didn't i don't think i thought i was just going to immediately work as an actor but then i got into one of the best acting programs in the country and i was that was again very motivating so i was like i don't want to wait for that I don't want to be there now. So then that's how I ended up going to a conservatory program. And then your first professional job was now, right?

Yeah, in the haunting. That is so unlikely. Blair Walder on gossip girl. But no, I just feel like that never happens. So what was that first season like for you? I mean, when I think about it now, as I've been kind of processing it recently, like it was quite a luxurious process. We shot that for nine months.

I mean, I don't think it was luxurious for a lot of people. But honestly, I mean, my character feels very present in it, but I honestly am mostly just in one episode. But, like, you know, by the time I was showing up, the focus was really on the performance. You know, there weren't people adjusting lights. Like, our director, Mike Flanagan, ran a very tight set that created a lot of safe space for actors to do that.

I also had the opportunity watch playback which I really enjoyed I learned a lot from that I remember when I first got to you and I was like we don't have playback yeah like nobody has playback what do you know what is it just like after you do a scene or after the day yeah but but but at what point is like right after the scene well I usually I usually I mean it depends I would not I don't I would never watch playback while I'm doing a scene but it was it was great to help me learn in terms of like watching it after the scene was done and be like because it's never as bad as I think it is you know Whatever I've come up with is 10 times worse in my head.

So it usually puts me at rest. Victoria, you mentioned that you think you're probably a pretty confident person or more confident than most. And I mean, I've made it clear how incredible I think you are. But because you were straight away on such big shows, I'm wondering if you ever dealt with a feeling of imposter syndrome or not feel. like ready yeah especially about being famous like I didn't I didn't really want that so it took it took a long time to accept that that was a reality that wasn't going to change being famous yeah because you're just exposed you know once you have exposure people know who you are they're not gonna forget I mean yeah

the young people might not know you know like the people that really like took in the work that you did are probably not going to I know exactly I know what you're talking about we can cut this but it's interesting because before you came Penn and I went to get lunch together and when we walked out of the building this girl jumped she like gasped

and jumped and I thought it was funny because I forgot that Penn I often forget that Penn is famous I don't know why because people always recognize him Sophie forgets that I'm an actor I forget that he's famous and for a second I was like why did that girl just jump when she saw Penn and then I like laughed and so Aspen about it, kind of, like, I was like, oh, that was kind of funny. And he got somber,

like, the mood changed. And then we had, like, a brief conversation. He was just talking about, like, it's always hard. Like, it's not something that he enjoys, you know? It's not something that anybody really is meant to be subject to, I think, in a way. And let's be, like, I'm going to be real. Like, I was made, I was made fun of in school. So when a bunch of people are all snickering looking at me in a corner, it makes you feel awful. It doesn't feel good. No, I know. It's funny. Yeah.

Yeah, we were on the train over here today, and there was a girl probably like 21 or something. The one sitting right there behind me? Yeah. No, not behind me to your left. And she was like filming pen and like looking at her phone. And actually, I didn't realize it, but that's what it felt like. For her, she's probably just like excited. But it came across as like mean. It's like I think it probably brings you right back to middle school where it's like you don't know what someone's thinking or who they're sending it. into this show. It's like, who are they sending that to? What are they saying? And here's the thing, it's never about you. It's always about you. Yeah.

Sorry, I have to slip into it every now. See, what that was, that was deflection. Yeah, yeah. I think we all picked up on that. Yeah. It was subtle. No, you did not. Souttally.

No, just to say, like, I feel for you guys. Some people love it. Yeah, I mean. Some people like. Some people do love it. And some people think that that's the life anybody would want. And you became an actor so you could be famous, duh. And it's like, no, I thought I'd work on some stage that nobody was going to see.

And I'd impact the people that shared space with me. And it wouldn't be about that, you know? Like, I took jobs because they were jobs. I got out of college. I didn't have money. I, like, took the jobs that came to me. You know, I wasn't being particularly discerning in that way either. Yeah, and then you were throws up to you very suddenly.

Also, you was not a huge hit when I signed on for it. Like, it hadn't gone to Netflix yet and it hadn't blown up on that platform. So I didn't know that it was going to be such a huge thing. There was like the plan of that, but it hadn't been released. And so it hadn't blown up. Victoria, you just mentioned that kids were mean to you. And so when someone's like standing in a corner looking at you and laughing, like that, it brings you right back to that place. would you mind sharing an example of like of how?

Because I know that that's something that our listeners struggle with a lot too and they might feel, I don't know, a relief knowing that someone like you has also gone through it. Yeah, I feel like a really good example of this that happened in middle school was that I was in math class and like I remember these people like sitting over there, sneaker in looking at me and I was like, hmm, what's going on? And this one kid like gives me a little phone number and he says, is my phone number, call me. And we had lunch right after that.

So I went to lunch, and, like, I walked out of the lunchroom. Like, I remember standing in, like, a hallway. I don't remember. But anyway, I was in school, and I called the phone number. And it was the rejection hotline. Oh. No. It's so awful.

That's so awful. Even that that exists, number one. Yeah. That's so awful, Victoria. But also, it's so unprompted. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's so awful. it's like a live action troll like internet troll that's so unfair i think i mean even since elementary school i think because i was so passionate and so obsessed with justice it was very

easy to get a rise out of me like i would just get so excited about things and i i was like pretty serious and like you know i would i would get over i would get really really loud about like the things i was passionate about like when everybody was calling everyone gay like i'd be like Don't say that, you know? And, like, people loved it. You were like, ha, ha. Look at you getting caring about things. Like, I think it was also very in fashion to be apathetic at the time.

Yeah. Yeah. It's less so, no, I think. I think so. But then I, like, went to my nephew's soccer game. Yeah. Don't go to a soccer game. You're not going to find it there.

And I was looking at the kids in high school. And I was like, they literally look exactly. Like, has the fashion changed? actually that much. No, it's right back to where it was. Everybody was exactly the same. It was so weird. I was like, did that guy never leave high school?

Did that guy never leave high school? I think I went to high school with him. Yeah. Can I ask how you feel around middle schoolers and high schoolers? Because I think the joke is that as a class of people, which we all go through, like we are the most awkward and sensitive and self-conscious, and yet somehow exude something that makes adults fully like... Cower.

Oh, shit, there's those high schoolers. Okay, I was going to just... Nervous. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, how do you feel around people at age? I don't know. I was just hanging out with high schoolers, and it was, like, pretty fine.

I mean, I want them to like me, but I don't want everyone to like me. No, that's not true. I think I want, I think that... I don't actually spend, like, when I'm thinking about, I don't spend time around middle schoolers or high schoolers ever. So what I'm saying is based on... You don't just want to go hang out in middle school? Should we leave? Very careful.

It's really based on nothing. So, I mean, I feel like I just try to deal with people as people. And I'm often just, I'm often very consumed with what I was thinking about at the time. Like, I like, if they're doing anything weird, I'm just like, oh. Or if they're being mean, I'm just like, oh, no, they're sad. You know, like, I feel like that's my response. But what about you, Pam? I mean.

You're living with a middle schooler. Yeah, yeah. Step son. God, this is going to be 14. Wow. Well, part of it is, well, I don't know. I mean, I think, like, this feeling of nervousness and awkwardness around, you know, these, like, certain age youth, that's in some way the way I feel every time posting on social media. It's like, all right, just walk through the hall really quickly and just don't look at anybody.

That's so funny. Such a good analogy. You know, I think that's maybe the way that I felt previous to getting on TikTok, which is interesting that it's like I did not. participated at all to feel this way, but it feels somehow a lot more relatable. It feels a lot more like commenting makes more sense, whereas like, you know, the comment section of Instagram post feels like the hall or the lunch where everybody's just like talking about, well, and in this case, it actually is about you. And it's, you know, and so it's, it's a very, you know, in Hollywood itself isn't, I think, beyond, if it's lucky, it's at the age and maturity of high school.

And it isn't really gone beyond that. I think there's so much about it. There's so much about it that is just so consumed with optics. Yes. And the way that things appear and how if you're not aloof, but certain people just, you know, when they say they have that it factor. I mean, you know, a lot of times it has with the way they look or whatever. So, you know, it's just, it's, to me, the beauty of it somehow is like,

the older you get, the more you can accept the lightness of life, the sweetness of life. Part of what we think about in this show is like if we can understand why it takes so long to get there, what could we be sharing with our youth when they're about to go through that, when they are going through that so that like it doesn't have to be such a long boomerang

back to sweetness, you know, back to lightness. And we'll be right back. Fall is in full swing and it's the perfect time to refresh your wardrobe with pieces that feel as good as they look. Luckily, Quince makes it easy to look polished, stay warm, and save big without compromising on quality. Quince has all the elevated essentials for fall. Think 100% Mongolian cashmere from $50, that's right, $50, washable silk tops and skirts, and perfectly tailored denim, all at prices that feel too good to be true. I am currently eyeing their silk miniskirt. I have been dying for a silk mini skirt. I've been looking

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Where the Schools Went is a new five-part podcast series about what happened to the city's schools after the Levy's broke and how it led to the most radical education experiment in American history. Hosted by Ravi Gupta, a former school principal, where the schools went, traces the decades of dysfunction before Katrina and how the high-stakes decisions that followed transformed the city's school system. you'll hear from the voices of the people who lived it from veteran educators who lost their jobs to the idealist and outsiders who rushed in to the students and families who lived through it all whether you're a parent and educator or someone who cares about how communities and public systems can work together where the schools went is a story you need to hear from the branch in partnership with the 74 and midas touch where the schools went is out now find it wherever you get your podcasts and start listening today I do know that fans of the show really wanted to ask a few you questions, so are you guys down if we ask you a couple of questions about you? Sure, ask questions about me. I mean, that's what this is. Yeah, we're here to interview you.

The show. You know, right? Yeah, it's like she gets it. Victoria's playing with me. Okay, so the question that I saw that I thought was interesting is, fans want to know how you guys felt about the I-wolf you scene and was it hard to keep a straight. face filming that. I fought it a lot. Oh, really? I don't recall struggling with it.

I mean... No, I think there were many moments where I was like, why are we doing this? And you were like, Victoria, just do it. Oh, wait, that's the exact inverse of my relationship with Penn. It's true.

He's like, why are we doing something? Like, Penn, just do it. Just trust me. Press post, press post. Today I'm like, I'm going to hit post for you. Today, she had her finger over the button. It's so funny. interesting why did you fight it

because it's ridiculous well and the fine line between that's something that's something people say to me now they'll come up and they'll be like they're the first person they ever said to me and they'll be like I wolf you oh my god

what the fuck is my life you don't know me you don't wolf me you don't wolf me you know what's interesting about that episode there was an entire wolf cut out of it The wolf didn't make it? I have pictures of it.

There was a scene where Joe gets bitten. Really? That was cut out? They cut out. And I was limping. And I was limping through the entire latter half of the episode. And nobody knew why. And they edited it around.

Either I'm limping and everybody's like, no, that's a choice. Or the limp is just gone. But the wolf was featured so much more prominently in the episode. And it was cut out because it was so hard to get the wolf to do what we needed. yeah oh wow and because of reasons that are obvious like you know they couldn't really get the they couldn't have the wolf actually lunge at me oh my god i hope they didn't try uh no so so basically they couldn't really you know what it came down to is like they would have needed hundreds of thousands of dollars for like a cg wolf to come to to come for me and so i think it just so basically they

edited around this whole story point you know which was like joe gets bitten by the wolf and that is a thing, you know, at the... Is that before or after I-Wolf you? When was it, was it what prompted the I-W-W-Few? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Wow. Okay, Victoria. In this week's episode, the one that's out this week, so in last

week's episode, we asked Penn what his favorite scene was to film with you, and he said it was the dinner scene, the final scene in season three. And I want to know what was your favorite scene to film with Penn. Chris, I didn't have to answer in front of her. that's true

we did a lot of scenes together my god mine was like a little bit of just a quick hot take what I liked that scene for was that well first of all a lot of times I don't have lines that's true people don't realize how often it's another person and carrying all the weight yeah exactly yeah doing all of that all of that good acting so knives all of those facial expressions where she takes you on an emotional What she's doing. Finally, someone on this show is making me feel something. Yeah.

What I liked about that scene was, I don't even particularly love my performance. I just liked that there was such a give and take, you know. And actually none of them thinking about it. Episode two, all those therapy scenes. Oh, that was fun. That actually, I'm revising my answer. Those are, to me, that's episode, what, episode two? season three

yeah maybe those that was really fun what was fun about that well that we were talking like they were real like scenes in which you're talking and responding and like there's dialogue and there's a journey

through the scene you know it's not just starting in a heightened place I love I always love scenes in psychologist's offices like across the board on everything I think it's a great space to explore characters with their

guard down a little bit but yeah I mean I really love the end of season two too those are those some of those are really fun especially when we're like yelling at each other and I think it was I think when I'm just like you were looking at a fantasy and like we're going back and forth about like finally being like really open and that's what I really hope that season three would be

And there was so much of, like, that real, like, real confrontation that ends up being, like, deeply funny because neither of them kind of sit on a moral high ground. So we do have a final closing question, which is if you could go back to your 12-year-old self, what would you say to her? Honestly, I don't think I could tell that little girl anything, but I think it would be more like you're not okay, you know? And the fact that you feel like this is not okay is a good sign. You know, like, yeah, I feel like more I'd want to listen. I like that. Yeah, because I think that's what that person needed was somebody to listen. Thank you.

Thanks so much for being here. Thanks for having me. Thank you for coming back. Today's listener submitted real-life middle school story is a little gem among gems because on the surface it feels like it's about one thing and you'll see what that thing is. But if you dig deeper, it's actually about friendship. It's about ride or die friendship. I absolutely love this story. Right or die. Enjoy. In the sixth grade, I had a giant crush on my best friend, Alea, but it was a secret. After months of pining, I decided it was time to come clean and shoot my shot. We were at an amusement park, getting ready to ride a roller coaster together.

I'm not sure what possessed me, but I thought this was the moment to confess my feelings for her. So I go for it. We sit down. I have something to tell you. Okay, she says, waiting. I like boys. And girls, and I like you. I like you, like you. Like you.

I mean, I like you, like you. I know. You know I'm by? The barlocks were both in traps, technically. Both things. I know both things. Oh. Horror. Or is it relief?

Yeah, I found that story you wrote. You know, the one where we were girlfriends. Nope, just horror. No, no, no, it's totally okay. I still love you, but I just like boys. And just then, we start to take off. The butterflies in my stomach are turning to, I, I don't know, I don't know, but suddenly I feel hot and wet and, oh no, no, no, no, no, am I peeing?

I am definitely peeing, okay? Let's just keep it on me, please. please no there it goes it's on her there goes the friendship the longest roller coaster ride of my life finally came to an end

I could only whisper I'm sorry I was super gracious about it and you know what she's still my rider die that is the definition of best friends forever you can

keep up with Victoria Pagretti on Instagram at The Notorious VIP with zeros instead of O's. Pod Crushed is hosted by Penn Badg Grave Navacavlin and Sophie Ansari. Our executive producer is Nora Richie from Stitcher. Our lead producer, editor, and composer is David Ansari. Our secondary

editor is Sharaff and Twistle. This podcast is a 9th mode production. Be sure to subscribe to Podcrush. You can find us on Stitcher, the Serious XM app, Spotify, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen. If you'd like to submit a middle school story, go to Podcush.com and give us every detail. And while you're

online, be sure to follow us on socials. It's at Pod Crush, spelled how it sounds, and our personals are at Penn Badgley, at Nava, that's Nava with three ends, and at scribble by Sophie. And we're out. See you next week. Penn, do you think I'm a diva? No.

I'm down. I'm down. I recently, I was just visiting my husband's family, and we were talking about how people sometimes end up in partnership with people who remind them of their mother or their father. Yeah. Sometimes. Yeah, always.

I'm sure that's our unconscious. My mother-in-law was like, I think we're quite similar. And I was like, really? In what ways? She started naming something. She's like, I think we're both down to earth. And I told David, my husband, about it later. And he just started laughing his head off.

He was like, you, down to earth? And I was like, wait, what? I was learning something totally new about myself. Anyway, that's, yeah. How funny. That's really funny. So to answer the question, Victoria, no, I don't think you're a diva. I think Sophie's a diva.

I think Sophie's a D.A. Stitcher.