Podcrushed - Saweetie

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

Your favorite icy grl, rapper extraordinaire, Saweetie joins us in-person for an intimate conversation on childhood, yearning for parental closeness, friendships born out of tests, and the early glimmerings of massive talent. Saweetie shares how giving herself a one year timeline to live austerely led to her current success, and what her fans can expect from her soon.   Follow Podcrushed on socials: TikTok Instagram XSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada He would always invite me to the movies, to the park, and I couldn't go. So he slowly started to ghost me. Oh, no. And I remember there was this beautiful girl, like beautiful girl. I can't even hold you. And lunch had ended, and she was walking through the hall. And she was holding his jacket.

Oh, no. And I remember just stopping in my tracks Now I'm looking at her And she's looking at me and she's smiling Welcome to Pod Crushed We're hosts, I'm Penn I'm Sophie and I'm Nava And I think we would have been your middle school besties

Trying on my mother's fur coats And memorizing Shakespeare and mom laws Is that anybody else? No Welcome to Pod Crushed are we going to address the elephant in the room Or me? The elephant is not in the room guys I missed you guys on this one I was really sad I wasn't there

we missed you Sophie it was wonderful but it wasn't the same without you I was thinking about you well good secured my spot yeah Sophie just like very briefly can you tell us why you weren't there yeah so actually this episode was supposed to be recorded later and we got this incredible opportunity to do it in person in New York Navas there right now with Penn and it's just

hard to get on a plane with a baby last minute, you know? It's just a little tricky. So I wasn't able to make it out for this one, but I was really bummed. Today's guest is Sweetie. The multi-platinum selling and streaming musician. Her debut single a few years back was Icy Girl. She had that summer anthem, My Type. The Mega Hit Best Friend with Doja Cat. Most recently, Nani and Rich Tivitie's track where she is especially on her self-proclaimed pretty bitch shit. I'm glad. Finally, now I'm not the only one. She's got a new album on the way. Something else we talked about. She does talk about it in other interviews too, but anxiety and

meditation, actually. Sweetie's shared that her meditation and visualization practices have helped her discover her life's purpose to inspire and empower women. And we were really eager to learn more about that. So you're going to like this one. You're going to love it. You're you know, treasure it and cherish it. Don't go anywhere. Does anyone else ever get that nagging feeling that their dog might be bored? And do you also feel like super guilty about it? Well, one way that I combat that feeling is I'm making meal time, everything it can be for my little boy, Louis.

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Louis has been going absolutely nuts for the lamb pilaf. I have to confess that he's never had anything like it and he cannot get enough. So he's a lambie laugh guy. Keep mealtime exciting with nom-num available at your local pet smart store or at Chewy. Learn more at trynom.com slash podcrushed, spelled try n-o-m.com slash podcrushed. Hey, it's Lena Waithe. Legacy Talk is my love letter to black storytellers, artists who've changed the game and paved the way for so many of us. This season, I'm sitting down with icons like Felicia Rashad, Loretta Vine, Eva DuVernay, and more. We're talking about their journeys, their creative process, and the legacies they're building every single day.

Come be a part of the conversation. Season 2 drops July 29th. Listen to Legacy Talk wherever you get your podcast, or watch us on YouTube. Thank you for coming. Thank you for having me. Welcome. I'm so excited, sweetie. And I told my PR, I was like, I don't want to do a Zoom. No, I'm so glad you push for in person.

I feel like they're so much better in person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, really, because we would love to do them all in person, but these days with podcasts, everybody just wants to zoom in. And I was pushed and I said, I'll wait, and then this opened up. That's awesome. All right, so you do know a bit about what we do here.

We like to start at 12. What's all special about 12? Well, that's what I want to ask you. I mean, it's a formative time, right? So it's like before that you're a child, right? And then after that time, like when it's your 15, 16, 17, 18, we still want to hear those stories too because the teen years are good. But then you're much closer to an adult.

But I'm really interested to hear what you were like at 12. Like, can you give us a bit of a snapshot? Home, school, and also, you know, because you're a performer, you're an artist yeah what i always want to hear about as we get into home life school life is where was that where where was the artist coming out you know how how is she seeing the world um well before i was 12 i wanted to be a disney princess so i was always singing around the house i would like sing while i did my chores i would sing while i was folding clothes singing in the shower okay um but i'd always tell my mom i wanted to be a Disney princess growing up.

Did you have a favorite one? Probably Mulan. Okay, yeah. Like that warrior spirit. That warrior spirit and I was a tomboy. So I just, I related to her story the most, just always wanting to, you know, do what the boys are doing and prove everyone wrong.

Yeah. Did you have a lot of, because I know you grew up with a large extended family, right? Like lots of cousins. Super big. Both my mother's side and my dad's side is a lot of family members. Was a lot of boys? A lot of boys on my dad's side

And a lot of girls on my mom's side Okay Did you gravitate more towards the boy cousins Or the girl cousins? Honestly, all my cousins I feel like they all were just so special to me On both sides of the family I'm the oldest granddaughter

Okay So yeah That's amazing I love all my baby cousins It must be so proud of you What's the age range? Is it a big age range? So I would say Man, there is a

there's a set of cousins for every generation. Like each set, we have like an abundant amount of kids that were born per year or, you know, closer to a time you were born. So no one was ever really lonely growing up when there was like family functions. That's so nice. That is really nice. So were you amongst them, were you the one who was always like singing? And I was shy.

Okay. Yeah, I was shy. So I would do it at home. but as soon as I got into, like, the public space, I'd kind of be, like, quiet. I would say I was quiet, not an introvert, but just a quiet extrovert when I wasn't around, like, you know, my home. I feel like I can feel that energy today, and I kind of want to get into it. It's too early now, but circle back to sort of, you seem like you have like a shy, gentle spirit. Which is lovely.

It's being really famous and. Yeah. It's like, it's just everywhere. I tell you it gets about me. Sure. Well, that's actually, I mean, to me, that's. what you often find with performers, like people who are really good, competent, become professional.

I think there's like, there's a shyness. I know I was very shy as a kid, but then there's this part of you that is like, well, but if you put me on a stage, I can, you know, totally open up, the way that I open up with, you know, the people who are closest to me. Is that kind of the way it was for you?

No, not necessarily, because I feel like I open up a different way on stage rather than a, a situation where I'm with like my best friends or my mom or my dad it's a different type of opening up yeah of course yeah so you had a you had a big a big family I guess it's this dynamic in this era of middle school like school is such a huge part of life right where you roll your eyes what was honestly my school experience didn't become pleasant until probably like my high school

years because I was able to go to school with my cousins. But kids are mean. And I had a lot of experiences where I was constantly just like tested in school. And yeah, I just wish I had a older brother or a sister growing up just so that it wasn't such a shock to me when I got to school. Because I was so used to being around like loving cousins. And then you get to school and you realize there's there's other personalities out there. And you're like, hold on, bitch. Who are you trying to treat that way? But I would say it was a shock going to school

and seeing people have a range of personalities. Growing up, when I would get babies, I'd be like with all my cousins. So I was used to like traveling in a pack when it came to like being in social environments. However, when I got to school, I'm an only child. I have no family attending the school. So I felt really like lonely.

However, my best. friend who I'm still best friends with today on the first day of school I kind of stalked her and that's how we became best friends what stood out to you about her how did you know she was the one um you know she just has a really magnetic oars to her um she's a beautiful girl um and i just liked her vibe and she tells the story way better than me but it was um the first day of school and there was a carpet and me and her were sitting on the um towards the towards the end and now that's the day of school and there was a carpet and me and her were sitting on the uh towards the end and now as the teacher is talking to the class, I keep scooching over to her. She keeps... So cute. Oh, my God.

No, but she keeps scooching away. And mind you, like, I was a big kid. Like, I was, like, bigger than, like, most of, most kids, and she's really tiny. So finally, she got to a place where she couldn't scooch anymore. And I was like, do you want to be my friend? Oh. I feel like that does a lot about you.

Yeah. What does she say? She was like, sure. She's very... I mean, as she got older, she got more comfortable in her skin. But I felt like as child, she was more so the quiet one. But now she's so full of personality. That's so nice.

You're still friends. Yeah, I actually just saw her two weeks ago at my birthday. That's awesome. Happy birthday, by the way. Thank you. Sweetie, your parents are quite young. They were quite young when they had you. Is that correct?

And were you very close with them growing up? or sort of how was that dynamic? You know, I feel like they raised me more so like a teammate rather than a child. They would always tell me like you got to do your part, like do your homework, do the chores, do this, do that because like we didn't have that much. So in order for us to, you know, be successful as a family,

they would always say everyone needs to do their part. So like I kind of grew up in like a teammate type of, I don't know what kind of like parenting style that is. but they were always just trying to teach me how to be like a team player in the house. Were they disciplinarians? Very much. Yeah, you called them enforcers in one interview,

which I like that. Yeah, they were very strict. And they were like army-teens. I would say army in their own style. Yeah. Do you think that's the kind of parent you'll be? No. No.

I think I'll take the softer approach. Okay. You do seem quite soft. Like, I mean, in the best way. I mean, there's a, you know, you have all kinds of personality in your songs and stuff, but you are, you are actually as you're advertised, which is very sweet. I did this sense. It's really lovely. Thank you. Your grandma gave you your nickname, right? Yeah, there's actually, it's a longer nickname. I don't want to say it because then my fans will start calling me it. But it's like two names before that and then it's sweetie. Okay. I was going to ask, did she choose that? Did she think you were the sweetest of the cousins? Is that sort of how you got it? To be honest, I'm not sure. We all kind of have our own nicknames when it comes to her. And was she in the house? Like, I mean, because, you know, what it sounds like is just very large family, but then actually your nuclear family, you're just your mom, your dad, and you, you didn't have siblings, right?

No, I didn't have siblings for about 11 years. Okay, okay. So, okay, well, so then that's right around that time as well. You know, I have a 17-year gap between my older sister, half-sister, obviously. Oh, my goodness. That's a long gap. Yeah, and then between my 15-year-old and my 3-year-old, there was an 11-year gap. So same as me and my sister.

This is a very random aside, but Penn and his sister look exactly the same, even though they have that gap. And I saw a picture of her once at his dad's house, and I thought it was pen in a wig. And I was trying to forget if he'd been in a movie where he had to play a girl. Like the exact same face. Oh, that's funny. The same with me and my sister, too. Really?

Mm-hmm. So, so was it, I'm kind of interested in like you, you've also said, you know, and I mean, we all say, like, I know what it's like to say something in an interview and then you get quoted later and it's like, yeah, I mean, I said that, but I mean, like what's the, but you, you know, first of all, I've really noticed that you are, you're pretty, you're pretty open in your interviews, you know, you're like, you're very thoughtful about your, your childhood, reformative years, you know, what it's been like coming into fame and success. I think that's really commendable. Not everybody is. So there's this dynamic, I'm thinking between, you know, you have this big family where you feel so much support. But then there's also this, there seems like there's a strand of like, I don't know, like isolation or loneliness, as you say, you know?

And you described yourself once as a sad kid a little bit. And again, I don't want to freeze you in that quote. Because you're many things at once. I think I was a yearning type. of kid. And I say that because when I would come home from school, like around the ages 11 and 12, I had my own house key. So while my neighbors did look after me, I was, I had access to my house and my dad had a rule. Come home to your homework, wash the dishes, then you can go out and play outside until the street lights come on. However, like I would miss like my parents being home when I got home from school. I wish they were helping me do my homework. my grandparents baby sat me a lot so this sounds dramatic but I would listen to like the old school station

I think it was like the quiet storm I forgot the numbers though but there was a song that would come on it's called wishing on a star and I would like look out the window and I would cry and I would look at the stars

and I would call my phone and I would call my parents and I would leave them voicemails Oh my goodness That is so sweet It's also like very romantic Yeah A romantic soul

No but I would just miss my parents You're like longing after your parents That's really touching Yes I would say I was just yearning Just to be in my parents' presence But I understood that they had to work In order to support you know our lifestyle What was their response like

Would they be like Hey got your voicemail? It'd be like girl you are so dramatic One time I filled my mom's voicemail box in one day in one day oh that is i mean that's adorable so you know so i mean i again i got the 15 year old and the nearly four year old um we wish the 15 year old would leave us some voicemails we wish we would get that kind of response but i i feel like as a parent um you know for me

in this generation uh the idea that that he could still be longing to see us the way that he does now is like when he's that age when he's like 12, 13, 14, that's that's so sweet. I mean, that's really amazing. Yeah. Do you are you close with him now? Yeah. I think we're

close. I think we speak more frequently than we used to. When I went to college, I really didn't speak to a lot of my family members. Yeah. Why? I'm not sure why. I get that. I was the same way. But my mom would always tell me, my mom has been very, has tried to be very proactive with our communication.

But then my dad will chime in and be like, well, I mean, this is how we raised her to be hyper-independent. Are they missing you now? Are they sending you the voicemail? They check on me a lot. That's really nice. Sweetie, I've heard you say you're an avid reader. And I'm just curious what kind of books you were reading at that age. and sort of how they shaped you? At that age, I mean, when I was younger, I was reading,

um, what's that, that wayside school, the, I don't know. It was the, oh, it was really good.

It was like the wayside, the wayside school series. It was about that, a school series and this interesting building that had many tricks in it. I got to look it up after this. Um, I was reading this book called Pixie Tricks. It was,

um, like a fantasy book. that took place in like a fairyland. And as I got older, I got into like more like urban books. Okay. That were very spicy. Okay. Like the coldest winter ever.

Like fly girls, like the cartel. But I was like a young girl who was coming of age. Those books are really interesting because I didn't have a big sister teaching me about, you know, puberty and growing up. So that was my way of kind of like learning what was out there. Did your parents ever, I mean, I'm getting. I'm guessing there was not a lot of conversation about that with your parents, right? They just be like, that girl, letterie.

Well, how about music? Was music becoming something that seemed like it would be in the horizon for you yet, you know? Or was it, because I also remember you said at one point that the first thing you wanted to be was like a hairdresser. Yes, my hairstylist. So, like, I don't know when, you know, that shift. Like when did music start coming alive for you? So I felt like as a child, I aspired to be a singer. But somewhere along my childhood timeline, I kind of like forgot about that dream.

And my interest peaked in doing hair because I'd always do like my friend's hair and I was good at it. And I was like, ooh, I could see myself doing this as I grow up. However, there was a career fair in high school and we had to look up the salaries for the job we wanted. And at the time, you know, a hairstylist now, especially celebrity hairstylists, they make a lot of money. But back then, the money wasn't moneying. So I was like, I don't think I'm going to do this. And shortly after that, I fell in love with music because I was already writing poetry. And once I realized that music is just poetry over a beat, that's what made me want to be artists again.

For your first raps, do you remember sort of your very first rap, were you like in the mirror, were you with a friend? Like, do you remember that? Yes, I actually remember staying. So I had an algebra two class, and the boys in the back were rapping, and they were all like, oh, so I was like, I wanted to go see what they was doing. So I'm just observing them, and I was like, you know what, I'm going to go home and write a rap. So I remember staying up all night, and I was so into it and so passionate that I was sweating. Like, real life sweating as I'm writing this rap. But I stayed up until like four in the morning.

I was really happy with it. And I wrote to a millie by Lil Wayne. That song was really hot then. I went back the next day at school and I rapped for them. And they all like went crazy. And mind you, these are like the critical type of. That's not like the age group where people are just going to be nice to you. It means you were actually like killing it.

And not for nothing. I mean, you were a girl. Yeah, yeah. Right. So just going back to that Mulan moment. I always wanted to like compete with the voice. Yeah. But I went back and got such a positive.

deception that it made me want to go home every day after school and just write wraps. That's so cool. So how old you there? Like, I'm guessing 14? I would say, yeah, no, I would say 15. Okay. 15. All right.

So that's really when it came alive. Yeah. That's cool. So what was that trajectory then? So, you know, after I graduated from high school, I got a MacBook and I actually found this MacBook, and I would record myself rapping all the time. you could definitely see that there was a young girl trying to find herself

like the rap's like varied like different tones different styles different types of energies that I'm you know given in each video I was like damn I was really committed yeah that's cool

stick around we'll be right back all right so let's just let's just real talk as they say for a second that's a little bit of an age thing to say now that that dates me doesn't it um but no real talk uh how important is your health to you you know on like a one to 10 and i don't mean the in the sense of vanity i mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well right you want to be less stressed you don't want it sick when you have responsibilities um i know myself i'm a householder i have uh i have two children

and two more on the way um a spouse a pet you know a job that sometimes has its demands So I really want to feel like when I'm not getting the sleep and I'm not getting nutrition, when my eating's down, I want to know that I'm being held down some other way physically. You know, my family holds me down emotionally, spiritually, but I need something to hold me down physically, right? And so honestly, I turned to symbiotica, these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious. And I'm telling you, even before I started doing ads for these guys, it was a product that

I really, really liked and enjoyed and could see. the differences with. The three that I use, I use the, what is it called? Liposomal vitamin C, and it tastes delicious, like really, really good. Comes out in the packet, you put it right in your mouth. Some people don't do that. I do it. I think it tastes great. I use the liposomal glutathione as well in the morning. Really good for gut health, and although I don't need it, you know, anti-aging. And then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8, which is really good for, I think, moods. and stress. I sometimes use it in the morning, sometimes use it at night. All three of these things taste incredible. Honestly, you don't even need to mix it with water. And yeah, I just couldn't

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Can you tell us about your first love and your first heartbreak? My first love and my first heartbreak. Oh, my gosh. And these can be like silly ones in elementary school or it can be like the one that really shaped you, whatever you want to share with us. Okay, so as I mentioned before,

my parents were really strict. At this point in my life, I'm living with my mom We're living in Palo Alto and I'm going to JLS middle school and I remember I had like my first crush

my first fake boyfriend because I wasn't allowed to like socialize the school dances are as far as it got but I couldn't go to people's houses I couldn't go to the parties that the other kids were throwing outside of school so I had like a I would say like a boyfriend like you know at school

however like he would become frustrated it because I couldn't hang out. You know, it was go to school and come home. Yeah. Like, I had to go to school and then come home and call my mom from the house phone. Wow, yeah. Yeah, she didn't play that. Yeah, and then she would, like, randomly call throughout the day and I had to pick up the phone.

Wow. Yeah, no, she was on it. But going back to that, it was in middle school. I think I was, like, in sixth grade. And he would always invite me to the movies, to the park, and I couldn't go. So he slowly started to. to ghost me. Oh, no.

And I remember I was... Which is hard to do when you go to the same school. Yeah, I'm just like, hmm. Like, he's not as, you know, into me as it used to be. And I remember there was this beautiful girl, like, beautiful girl. I can't even hold you. And lunch had ended, and she was walking through the hall. And she was holding his jacket.

Oh, no. And I remember just stopping in my tracks. Now I'm looking at her. and she's looking at me and she's smiling because she knows that people knew that me and him were like dating but I didn't even kiss him but she didn't have a strict household

she was one of them girls that was outside out of the time and I remember just looking at her and I'm just like damn I wish my mama wasn't strict like I didn't even think to be mad at her I was just like I was just so mad at my strict household but I don't know it probably saved me from doing things at an early age well yeah yeah I guess that's why I was asking.

But I'm curious, did you write any poetry about that, boy? No, I started writing poetry when I was in eighth grade. Okay. So this was sixth grade. So this was building up the tank for the poetry? Yeah, absolutely. All the feelings. Okay, we have one more classic question.

Do you have any embarrassing memories from that time? Anything that, like, stands out to you as particularly? Embarrassing moments. So fast forward to my junior year in high school. I was playing club volleyball in the off season. By the way, you were like a champion athlete, right? You were like your high school's best female athlete of the year. That's amazing.

Yeah, thank you. I'm so bad at sports. I'm like actually in off. Oh, thank you. So during the off season, I had sprayed my ankle and I was on crutches. And I remember, oh my gosh, you know, like the clothes was tight. Like I was still trying to be cute. and I remember like my pants were tight

and so they started to sag and I had a really heavy backpack and I'm like crushing my way to class and my crush walks up to me he was like do you need help and I'm so embarrassed because like my pants are falling down my backpack's heavy

I'm kind of like this and I'm just like no I don't need your help but I'm just like please stop looking at me and go to class it's funny how with crushes we always we seem to turn them away if they ever approach it's like

no no no no No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, and it was just so awkward. It was raining, and, like, my backpack was heavy. My clothes were too tight. Like, I was just, just, mm-mm. So, wait, where does sports fit into, because I'm remembering that, yeah, like, you were such a good athlete. Were you playing before that, or did you just kind of, like, rock up to high school and suddenly, like, I can play now?

Well, I grew up playing sports. You did, okay. So, my first sport that I played was football. And that's, yeah, that's what I wanted to play. Like American football? American football. Because as I mentioned, on my dad's side, there's a whole bunch of boys. So there's always, like, a football laying around in the house. So that was the first sport I played. Then I played basketball. I didn't really like that. It was too much running. Then I played baseball. I

love baseball. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Baseball, like, I love that sport. So I always, like, grew up playing. However, I didn't find my love for volleyball until seventh grade. My mom forced me to try out. And she was like, please just try out. Like, I promise you're going to love it. I tried out and I fell in love of volleyball. That's the sport that you sort of... That I stuck with. That's the one that I was playing in season and off season. Do you still do any sports?

I try to when I can when my nails are short. Oh, that's awesome. That's one thing that I miss is that I wish I'd stayed with through my 20s. So now I'm like towards the end of my 30s now. I really wish that I kept sports up. What sports did you play? Soccer. Oh yeah, I like soccer too.

Soccer during recess. Yeah, it's not, you know, I mean, it wasn't taken as seriously when I was growing up. So it was kind of hard to stay connected to. So, sweetie, you had an experience in middle school that was kind of traumatizing. It was traumatizing. Can you tell us about that incident and sort of how it shaped you in your approach to friendships? So I had an incident in middle school. And there was, now that I'm rewining back into it,

there was actually a good thing that came out of it. I'll get to that point. But I was best friends with these girls. and we were kind of like in a big girl group and I remember getting like my first first boyfriend and like somebody who remember like there was I had a phone so I feel like because I was older and because I wasn't allowed

to go to the movies I was allowed to do activities outside of school we were able to see each other more so it felt like my first real boyfriend but I remember after a couple of weeks after we were dating. I had went home for the weekend and I started to receive these really weird voicemails.

And at first it was a prank and then it went to like voices that I knew and then it turned into like me figuring out who these people were. And we used to a prank call a lot of people. So I'm just like, you know, as a kid you're just like used to just like oh my God, who playing on my phone?

Yeah. And I remember towards the end of the weekend it had got like the calls, had went from funny to like aggressive. Like the progression was crazy. And at the end, they threatened me. They were like, we're going to jump you, like, on Monday. Were they saying why they were mad at you?

You know, it was just kind of like calling me names. And I let my grandma hear it. And she was like, oh, we'll invite them to the house. If they want to fight, she'd invite them to the house. Because, I mean, if you know, you know. We invited them over to the house They didn't come And I remember calling someone

In the girlfriend group Her name was Kedija And I was like, what's going on? Have you heard of like Why they, you know, how to change their heart? Like I'm trying to like figure out Why these girls who were my friends Why they had switched on me

And she was like, I don't know But if they have a problem with you They got a problem with me And I remember going to school that Monday And she was so on it and I had no problems. That's awesome. That's an amazing friend.

So I actually ended up getting a best friend out of that situation. Out of really weak friends. Yeah. Are you still friends with Khadija? Yeah. I just saw her two weeks ago at my birthday party too. That's awesome. I love that you're having all your friends over at your birthday party.

I haven't had that kind of party in a long time. That's also such an interesting dynamic. It sounds like maybe being jealous of you and then deciding to like take that to a place of violence. So interesting at a young age. Yeah, I experienced that a lot at a young age. Wow. Do you feel like it's made you tougher or more vigilant? Honestly, it's made me hyper aware of my surroundings.

Like, I remember, you know, taking the bus and almost always getting jumped. And through the grace of God and through angels and through other people just looking out for me, just never happened. Because someone would always have my back. Even if I wasn't close to them, it'd be someone who, like, knew me or was just an associate. and they would see what was about to go on and they would like something would prevent it. I love that you said that through the grace of God are angels because I feel like I've had experiences like that too. I'm like this could have gotten so wrong and I always feel like it's a higher force. I mean, she has a crazy story about nearly drowning.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, me too. Really? Okay, we'll talk about that. Do you want to show your drowning story? Okay, so I was in Hawaii and typically I'm with my cousins, but this time I'm alone with my mom. and I decided to go out into the ocean. Like, I'm a water baby.

So, like, I love to swim. Are you a water sign? Cancer. Me too. Amazing. I'm a water sign as well, but I'm a Scorpio. July 17. It's coming up this week.

Oh, happy early birthday. Thank you. So we're in Hawaii, and growing up, we had this thing where we would jump with the waves. And when you do it right, you're able to, like, so if the wave is going like this, And if you jump at the right time, you are able to, like, go high into the water and then go down. And it feels like a water slide. But I remember, I missed my jump. And I don't know if I jumped too early or too late, but I wasn't able to reach the top.

I think I reached the middle of the wave and a tide took me under. So I was underwater probably for like 10 or 15 seconds, but it felt like forever. Yeah, when they're getting crushed. And the tide just keeps like bringing. me down bringing me down girl why do i get up i stand up and the water's like this high but that just shows like how dangerous yeah no it's true no it wasn't the time that you yeah the time i almost drowned it was it was like to hear i could stand but i couldn't get out of it there was like a suction force and that's often where people drowned out there that that that week that i didn't die

two other people did in the exact same so it's a suction force yeah it's a section force yeah the ocean yeah water strong. You're going to play with. Yeah. So let's get back to, like, you're going through high school, you're getting to college. Mm-hmm. I wasn't going to go to college.

You weren't going to, really? No. What happened? What switched you? So, I wanted to be a rapper, and I felt like no rappers went to college. There's only one that I knew who I admired J. Cole. Oh, right. And I was like, that's the only person who I know went to college, who became a rapper.

But other than that, like, I don't want to, like, I don't want to, I don't want to go there and then miss my opportunity to get discovered. So I wasn't going to go to college. And at the last minute, I was like, you know what? I got to get out of Sacramento. Like, I want to go somewhere and just, you know, have a fresh start. So at that point, I had missed my dream school's deadline. My dream school is USC.

However, the Cal State University applications were still open. And I'm not sure if it's still this way, but one application can go to like several schools. So I'm like, okay, it's my best bet to just apply to multiple schools. I applied to multiple schools that were in the California State University system and got into like five and then picked San Diego State because they have a high transfer rate to go into USC. Right, right. You're so strategic.

And then you did not go to USC. Yes. Yeah. What did you study at USC? Communication with the emphasis in business. Are you glad you went? Do you think it was worth it? I think that college is great and it teaches you in valuable skills.

like existing and working with different cultures who may have different morals and values. It teaches you time management. It teaches you accountability, responsibility. I don't necessarily remember the topics that we're taught in the classroom, but I remember like the skills that I acquired to become more mature and to become essentially a business woman. Can I say or ask, either now or when you were going when you were applying to college and getting in was a part of you was like all right thanks mom and dad for

enforcing in that way because you know I feel like you clearly had the grades to rely on you know you don't just like apply and get in anywhere I mean you you were accepted because you were like were pretty academic was that was there any point where you felt like

damn well I'm glad in some ways that I had been kept on that that like straight and narrow path at all you know because you were talking about this sort of mixed emotions around it honestly I hated college all right fair and I wish I would have had the personality I've had now um I wasn't always as social um I used to I mean like my childhood like I was a quiet extrovert like if you knew me then I can open up, but if I'm not familiar with my surroundings, I don't expose myself with certain things. And my biggest regret in college was not establishing, you know, more genuine friendships. I'm not joining more clubs, not going to, you know, academic dinners I was invited to because

my grades were good for a semester. It was very much so go home, go home, go to work or go see somebody, you know, who I was dating or friends who were outside of college. friends who may have been from my hometown but weren't in my college I think that's one of my like I don't regret a lot of things but that's one of my biggest regrets I wish I would have created a stronger social circle yeah you feel like you didn't make the most of it maybe no I didn't I feel like I went to class and then I went home

I think I'm really glad you're sharing that because I feel that way too sometimes my first year of college I was like that I really like focused on out of town friends. But actually this month I've been shadowing Penn on the set of you and I've been trying really hard not to spend too much time with Ben. Actually it's quite easy because he's like quite busy. But just to like meet the crew

and talk to every person on the set which isn't what I'm always like but I've really been like I'm only here for a month. You feel like I'm always like that? Well I mean I know you in a particular context. Yeah. I know you in this context where we're trying to build things and so you make a conscious ever to do what we're talking about. You make a conscious ever to network and you in fact

encourage me to do it which I'm not That's not that way either. I have spent the first 20 years of my career being like, I'll be over here. Yeah. You know? It's true. I'm always like, can you please get dinner with this person? After this time I'm like, can you please become friends to Sadie and like take her to dinner?

No, but I feel like, yeah, I've been just trying to like meet everyone and be like, I'm only here for this amount of time. Like, be here. Don't be on your phone. Don't be like thinking about L.A. Yeah. But I feel like that's a recent shift for me. I don't know. But Penn doesn't.

That's good. I'm a little bit surprised. Yeah. You're even more of an introvert than I realized. Can be. But anyway, no, I think that's really good advice. Sweetie, you have an incredible story. I think it's so inspiring of how you had like some financial struggles, gave yourself a deadline, and then broke out.

Can you tell us that story for our listeners who aren't familiar? Yeah, so I remember graduating from USC and not having that much money. So I decided to apply for a whole bunch of jobs. And I had got the majority of which. I applied for. However, the requirements was like 40 hours plus a week. And if I were to do that again, I wasn't putting myself back into the situation that was similar to college, whereas I'd have to focus on work and not my music. So I remember I had got a job as doing something at a hospital. And the salary was, I think it was around 45K a year. And at the time, that was a lot of

money to me. And I had to make a big decision. I was like, Either I'm going to take this job and be stable and gamble with, you know, my music career being that I wouldn't have that much hours to focus on it, or I'm going to give myself a deadline and continue to do these odd jobs and see if I get discovered. And if I don't get discovered, I'm going to go back home. So on the night. Sorry, to interrupt, you didn't send like demos and stuff to, you sort of wanted to be discovered on social media. To be honest, I don't think that was a demo era. I don't know that it is anymore. Or at least I didn't know that there was still, you know, people who were looking for demos.

And at the time, I couldn't afford the studio. So my way of getting my music out there was rapping on Instagram. And, you know, first it had the 15 seconds or 30 seconds. And then it was a minute. Oh, that's right. So as it progressively went to a minute, my fan base got stronger because I was able to rap longer. So I actually was able to take the opportunity of not being able to afford studio time

and saw my social media as an outlet and through that I got discovered on my ninth month and I had gave myself a year deadline and thankfully I got discovered. Yeah, I'm on my ninth month. Wow. I mean, 12 months is not a lot of time and you even did it in the ninth month. That's impressive. Well, it was a year of me just kind of like figuring it out

not really having a schedule and after that year had passed I was like, I can't do another year of that. So I gave myself a new deadline, and if I didn't reach that, then I would go home. Were you anxious? Like, how are you sort of as you're getting closer and closer to your deadline? And it hasn't happened yet. What's keeping you, like, motivated and persevering? Faith, praying, God.

Because every time I think I wouldn't be able to make rent, I'd make rent. So thank God for those odd jobs. Yeah. So you felt like there was like someone giving you just enough to appreciate it. And I'm a little delusional. You know? I'm like, I'm going to make it work. I don't care. I'm going to figure it out. Like, I always felt like something. I always feel like something's going to work out for me. And I feel like that delusional mind state is what made me believe that I could even become an artist. I agree with you, by the way. I think everybody who makes it has to be a little bit delusional or a lot. I feel like there's an art to being delusional. There's a positive side and there's a negative side. I feel like on the positive side, if you're delusional, but you compare that with hard work and consistency, magic can happen. But you can be delusional. But you can be delusional. and lazy. That's true. That's the worst combo. That is definitely the worst combo. I think that's the most aggravating thing to be in, like, to be in the presence of someone who delusional, but then they're

not doing any of the hard work. And you're like, well, where are you going to get with all that? It's true. That's true. Because the numbers are that you're going to fail. Like anybody, it's tough when, when like, young people ask me, you know, how they might get in acting. I mean, it's, it's, because they see somebody, you know, maybe like on a show like mine. And I I mean, the chances are, you're just not going to make it there. So you have to have a level of delusion, but it's not an encouraging thing to say, you know, but it's an interesting balance.

So real quick, when you were in college, where was rapping then? Because, like, we're hearing about, you know, how you were trying to balance the work and art. But, like, when you were in school, did you have to put it even more on the side? Or were you still kind of, like, doing the social media rapping too then? Or where was it?

I was primarily focused on the social media rapping. They had this thing called 15 second, 15 second freestyle Fridays. So I was like joining that. But the only time I did go to the studio is I have an uncle. His name was my uncle Sigmund. All my birthday are on holidays. He'd buy me studio time. Oh, that's cool.

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What does it mean that you were discovered? How did that feel? So interestingly, the place and the environment where I wrote Icey Girl is the complete opposite of what the video portrays. So I was running rooms off of Craigslist. And when people asked me, why did that wild thing? When you're running rooms, you're not required.

to do the contract with the apartment where you do the deposit and then first month's rent. And because, for one, I didn't have the pay steps to back that up. And I didn't have enough to do a deposit and first month's rent. I'm like, so. And if you're in New York, it's the first three months rent. Oh, my crazy. Yeah, it's just insane. So my alternative to that was running rooms off of Craigslist.

And at the time, I was running a room and I was riding icy girl. I remember I had a love seat. like a little, a many love seat couch and a mattress. Yeah. The positive side to that is your room barely gets dirty. Yeah. But I remember I was writing my rap and I was just so frustrated. I'm like, why am I calling myself an icy girl?

I feel like like a fraud. Like at first the rap was just very flamboyant. And I was like, you know what? Let me just let me say what I want. And let me say what I'm about to be, which is why I say, look it in the mirror. I thank God for what I'm about to be. because I was literally looking in the mirror

and I was like, I don't like you. We have to improve, friend. So although I didn't appreciate myself in the moment, I was appreciating my future self because I always just knew I would make it. It's just a feeling that you have. So even when you say, when people ask you, how do you get into acting,

I think any entertainment, whether they're an athlete, an actor, or a musician, it's just something you have to just know in your heart of hearts. So I remember looking in that mirror And I'm just like, we're going to get there And then how did they reach out to you? Who reached out to you? How did it happen?

Oh, so my bad. So I had finished my rap I had posted it on SoundCloud Someone had saw the rap And was like, you should shoot a video to this I shot a video And I thought it was going to get Like a couple thousand views

It was like wildfire That video, as soon as it was posted I had so many write-ups with like hip hop blogs I respected growing up I had a lot of bloggers covering it some people were even playing it on like you know mix show radio because mix show radio is like if I remember this correctly

it's the DJ's choice of like songs they like whether if it's program or not program but I was getting a lot of love and after that several deal offers came through and that was back in like 2018 no this was 2016 or 17 Oh, my God. Yeah, 2017, I think.

Amazing. You have collaborated with some incredible, some incredible artists, and I'm curious, what's your favorite collaboration? My favorite collaboration is actually my Punjabi collaboration. I was just to see that this morning. Yes. Yeah, so good. His name is Diljit.

Okay. And what I love about this is that it exposed me to a different culture, because I'm used to, you know, being in the R&B and rap space, but. But this type of approach, I would say, just opened my eyes. There was words that I had to pronounce a certain way. I had to learn what they meant. And it was just nice being exposed to a different culture and just learning about a community that I wasn't so familiar with.

His team was great. He's great. And I just really appreciate their experience. And actually, a couple days ago, he sold out his first show at the crypto arena. Wow. No opener. Yeah, he's pretty big. Yeah, just purely by himself.

but yeah like I like him and I like his team they're very respectful very humble like I wasn't expecting that and I just I appreciate how they treated me in my team so when you look for collaborations now what are you looking for I genuinely have to like the song yeah and I feel like it has to fit my brand I remember when I first kind of popped off there was songs that I had to turn down because they didn't really fit my like my public messaging and I'm happy I did that. You seem like you have a lot of strength of character and I'm trying to find the right word like you seem like you're comfortable saying no where maybe some people wouldn't like even the fact that you have really taken your time with your album and you gave an interview where you said like you didn't feel like people were taking the art seriously so you paused. I feel like that's so bold. It is. It's not easy. Yeah like a certain courage that I think a lot of us wouldn't have in your position well i get that from saying i get that from the moments where i did say yes when i should have said no and you know when you feel when you say yes when you should have said no you kind of

feel robbed yeah and i don't like feeling that way so because i i learned through my mistakes i know that i shouldn't say yes when i should say no yeah yeah uh that makes me think of so i know on about a year ago when you did heart to heart i don't know exactly when you did it it was two years ago. It was two years ago. Yeah, I had freshly shaved my hair up. Yeah, yeah, which also looked great. It did look great. I have once had the same short pink. Really? Yeah, I have.

Oh, she's a little picture. You were doing music, right? Yes, actually. It was the last year I was playing music. Are you guys being facetious? No, no. No, I had it. No, I had it. Yeah, and I had that hair. Really? Oh, yeah, I want to see that. It's on Spotify. Okay. It's good. I can say, you know, I'm happy for anybody to hear it, but it's not going to

blow up now. you were talking about wanting to create an environment for your record, which, by the way, are you, like, finished? Are you still working on it, or is it coming here? I'm still working on my album, but. And no pressure. I'm just, I'm just curious where in the timeline? Actually, I'm really happy that I've waited. At first, I didn't know why I was waiting. And then I realized there was a moment where I needed to take my art more serious. but there's a difference with wanting to take your art more serious and there's a difference of knowing yourself better. Just because I wanted to take my art more serious,

at the time I was still trying to figure out who I was. And I think that the mindset that I'm in now, she's the woman who is ready to put out an album rather than the girl who was just green and not knowing what she was doing and kind of naive when it comes to like the music industry when I first entered I don't think she was ready to put out of album but I think the person who I am now is ready you were talking yeah that's I think that's really mature and like smart of you uh you were talking about creating an

environment like you just wanted a you wanted to like rent a house and just be somewhat I think secluded I don't remember the word you used I don't know if it was secluded but is that still the kind of the vibe that you have like you just want to be in one place right record. Is that the sort of environment you want when you're making something? You also said that just because it's on topic that you wanted to, I think I wrote it down, you wanted to nourish your spirit in order to create art, which I loved that concept.

I think I'd want to balance, especially when I come to the closing days of finishing the album, I do want to be in a place that's secluded, but I do want to be able to access life as well, because I feel like life inspires the art. But just having the balance between being able to retreat and then being

able to be outside so that I'm constantly experiencing life. How do you nourish your spirit? Now, you know what? Self care is kind of scary. And I'm going to tell you why. So I did my first weekend of real self-care this past weekend, the Fourth of July weekend. I had stayed home.

I went to the chiropractor. I got a hair massage. I got a regular massage. I was reading books. it was the first time I really sat there and took care of myself but then when it was time to go back to work I felt like a deer in the headlights

because I was so used to being by myself it felt really chaotic to me and normally I like being outside I like being in social circles but the self-care really just made me appreciate my solitude are you still meditating because I know that you were

talking a lot about meditation in that sort of press cycle you were in is that part of your self-care still? Back then I was meditating heavily to the point where I could meditate for up to two hours but I have to get back to that I kind of like lost my ways once I started working a lot again

so I find myself meditating when I get really angry like nothing like an angry meditation no it calms me down so I'm just like okay before I overreact let me just put myself in timeout and let me breathe that's such a good approach well I find I really don't like the person who I am when I become angry

because I may say things that I don't mean and once you say them despite whether or not you mean them or not the other person here is it's true it's there it's there it's there yeah no it's so true I happen to love the person I am when I'm angry there he go acting like his character

it's not true it's not true at all sweetie can you tease anything about the album? Are there any songs that are already recorded? Is there by the theme? I'm singing a lot more. And what I love about my songs when I'm singing more, I'll play it for a group of people and they'll be like, oh, who's the feature? Like, who, is it a new singer? Like, who's that voice? And I'm like, it's mine. That's amazing. That's so exciting. If our research is serving us, have you said that you wanted to start a media company? Well, I definitely foresee myself having a media company. And,

The purpose behind that is I feel like there's a lot of creatives out there who know how to shoot, but there's no vision. And I think that's one of the most frustrating. However, it makes me become a teacher which then also teaches me more about, you know, a craft that I love. But when I'm working with people who may have a good camera, they may have all the right props, but there is just no vision. Like, what story are you telling when you're shooting content? What story are you telling when you're shooting a picture? How are you editing it? How is it making a person who's viewing it feel?

Just because you have a good camera doesn't mean you have a vision. Of course, yeah. So I would love when time permits to kind of get my own village of creatives who I train because then I can use them. Rather than having to reteach new people who I'm hiring from time and time. But I think it's really important. And I feel like that's what distinguishes, you know, a photo and a video an art, you know?

Am I looking at a photo or a video? Am I looking at art? Like, what's the intention? What's the purpose behind it? Why did you shoot it this way? What angle are you using? But those are all of the things that, to be honest, Tumblr taught me.

That's amazing. I was a big Tumblr girl. Like, that's why I get a lot of, like, my aesthetics. That's where I, um, develop my interest for just my own brand. Like, I've always, like, shot with purpose. and I think it's because it's humbler.

That's awesome. That's really cool. Sweetie, we're so excited. We're going to make some, hopefully some art. Is that too high? We're going to make some sit-tucks. I mean, if you're open to it. If you're open to it.

It's something that we do here. We'll put the sweetie seal on it. We have a final question we ask every guest. Do you want to ask it, Ben? Sure. If you could go back to your 12-year-old self, what would you say or do? Honestly, I would say, stop thinking so much and try not to be perfect.

You know, I feel like as a child, because I was raised so fast, I was always hyper self-aware of self, like trying to do the right things, trying to be perfect. And I wish I would have made more mistakes. And I feel like my dad always told me, like you have the rest of your life to be an adult, like be a child. but contrary to that he and my mom were enforcers

but then do the dishes and then do that and then you can go outside have you done all the other stuff I mean the beauty in that I was I was able to learn how to be responsible at a young age but because I was given so many responsibilities I was always thinking about how I had to just

be a good child so I wish I was just a little bit more reckless yeah and that comes back to what you were saying about wishing you sort of bump your head as a kid more than as an adult. Oh yeah, going back to that. I just wish I was able to be outside a little more. But as you get older, you hear the weird stories about going up to other people's houses

and why parents don't allow that. So maybe it would have saved me from unfortunate experiences like that. But because I was just so hyper aware and responsible as a kid, I don't think I would have, I don't think I made the, I don't think I made enough mistakes. So there was a point when I got older where I'm just like, I need to just try different things because it just felt too perfect. Like, I needed to, like, learn more about life. Do you feel like you learn more from mistakes than, like, just nailing it?

Absolutely, because from a mistake, you're able to see if you like it or if you don't like it. And if it's a mistake, then you don't like it. But I try to view things as more so like a lesson. It makes me have less shame about whatever the situation may have be. Well, we already ask the final question I check. Well, on that note. Everybody take some breaks. Take a break right now. Thank you, sweetie. So much for coming.

Thank you. It's such a pleasure. Thank you. You can stream and buy Swedish music on all the usual platforms and you can keep up with her online at sweetie spelled S-A-W-E-E-T-I-E. We are so excited that you can now listen to Podcrushed ad-free on Amazon music. In fact, you can listen to any episode of Podcrushed ad-free right now on Amazon Music with an Amazon Prime membership. Well, one thing that you missed is that sweetie had the most beautiful shoes that I've ever seen in my life. And I'm sure that our editors are going to do a good job of, like, not cutting to me every time I'm looking at her feet. But at one point, she was looking at me and I realized that I was staring at her feet. And I think she was a little thrown.

So I even, like, address that at the end. I was like, oh, listeners, if you're watching. It was really for so we need to know.