Podcrushed - Shay Mitchell

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

Shay Mitchell (Pretty Little Liars, YOU, Dollface) reunites with Penn for a delightful conversation on vision boards, manifesting, mama bear-ing, and embracing failure on the path to success. She opens up about pre-partum depression and why in high school she frequently ate lunch alone in the bathroom. Want to submit a middle school story? Go to www.podcrushed.com and give us every detail. Follow Podcrushed on socials:InstagramTwitterTikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada We're not all meant to be glowing, you know, giving burn. Sometimes you can walk in and just say, put it in my back, and that is me. So I love that. I would be a very interesting doula. Oh, my God. How many milligrams just me with a needle? Like, what do you want?

Full or half? Do you want to walk right after in, you know, a couple days? Sorry, did you say yes? Because I'm already... I can't remember, but I've already put it in your back. This is Pod Crushed. The podcast that takes the sting out of rejection, one crushing middle school story at a time. And where guests share their teenage memories, both meaningful and mortifying.

And we're your hosts. I'm Nava, a former middle school director. I'm Sophie, a former fifth grade teacher. And I'm Penn, a middle school dropout. We're just three beehis who are living in Brooklyn. Wanting to make stuff together with a particular fondness for awkward nostalgia. Well, I struggle with nostalgia. I'm here for the therapy.

Penn, can you describe your surroundings right now? They're beautiful, why? I don't understand. I have, if you can hear this, can you hear that? Faintly, a whisper in the background. That's a parka. That's a thin, packable parka behind me. I'm surrounded by coats and a blanket. I'm in a hotel room that I'm paying too much money for, frankly. It's a small room.

But I've hung up jackets on the television that's above me, And it just looks, well, I'm going to throw it to the episode a little bit. I feel like I'm in a womb. I feel a warm, womb-like. There's a lot of burgundy around me as well. And I think the sound is pretty good. It does sound pretty good. We have Shay Mitchell today for our guest.

Yes, you probably know her best from her time playing Emily Fields on Pretty Little Liars or the iconic Peach Salinger on a little show called You. Actress, author, Influen. influencer, entrepreneur. A lot of hyphens there. I'll let her talk about more of them later. And then what do we do? Do we go to applause? It's an ad break. So you should say, so stick around. We'll be right back. So stick around and we will be right back. Does anyone else ever get that nagging feeling that their dog might be bored? And do you also feel like super guilty about it? Well, one way that I combat that feeling is I'm making meal time, everything it can be for my little boy, Louis. Nom Nom does this with food that actually engages your pup senses with a mix of tantalizing

smells, textures, and ingredients. Nom Nom offers six recipes bursting with premium proteins, vibrant veggies and tempting textures designed to add excitement to your dog's day. Pork potluck, chicken cuisine, turkey fair, beef mash, lamb, pilaf, and turkey and chicken cookout. I mean, are you kidding me? I want to eat these recipes. Each recipe is cooked gently in small batches to seal in. vital nutrients and maximize digestibility.

And their recipes are crafted by vet nutritionists. So I feel good knowing it's design with Louis' health and happiness in mind. Serve nom nom as a complete and balanced meal or as a tasty and healthy addition to your dog's current diet. My dogs are like my children, literally, which is why I'm committed to giving them only the best. Hold on. Let me start again because I've only been talking about Louie.

Louis is my beat. Louie, you might have heard him growl just now. Louie is my little baby, and I'm committed to only giving him the best. I love that Nom Nom's recipes contain wholesome nutrient rich food, meat that looks like meat, and veggies that look like veggies, because shocker, they are. Louis has been going absolutely nuts for the lamb pilaf. I have to confess that he's never had anything like it, and he cannot get enough. So he's a lamb pilaf guy.

Keep mealtime exciting with NomNum, available at your local pet smart store or at Chewy. Learn more at trynom.com slash podcrushed, spelled try n-o-m.com slash podcrushed. A 15-year-old girl who chewed through a rope to escape a serial killer. I used my front teeth to saw on the rope in my mouth. He's been convicted of murdering two young women, but suspected of many more. Maybe there's another. in that area. And now, new leads that could solve these cold cases.

They could be a victim. Now we have no idea he killed. Stolen voices of Dull Valley breaks the silence on August 19th. Follow us now so you don't miss an episode. We'd love to hear a picture of what you were like in middle school. I know you went to middle school in Canada. Yes. So we'd love to know, like, what were you wearing?

What music were you listening to? How would your teachers describe you? How would your friends describe you? Who did you have a crush on? All the juicy middle school details. First and last. Names. Oh, my God.

I have a little burn book. No, I'm kidding. Not really. Middle school for me was very interesting. I would say in elementary school, I had a really close-knit group of friends. Middle school was super fun. It was where I felt a lot more free than when I ended up. up in high school. High school for me, my friend group just kind of disappeared and it was like

mean girl realization. Did not have a great experience high school, literally right in grade eight just because it was wild when you, you know, bring in like older boys, jealous girls, not, you know, that just doesn't mix. And so for me, my memory of that is literally, and I've said this, before a few times, but like eating my lunch in the bathroom, I just did not want to go to the cafeteria, whereas middle school felt very different, you know, there wasn't like a cafeteria where everybody was in different groups. It was just like, I don't know, everybody was friends, at least in my experience. And, you know, at recess and at lunch, I grew up in Vancouver, and we would just be out in the forest, running around, tag, you know, that was the first form

of, like, flirtation. You'd chase the boy you like, or like he would chase you. That was like my whole thing. But yeah, it really all changed grade eight for me. I don't know what the grades are in the States, but yeah, when grade eight is when you move over to a new school and it's just that transition is, yeah, I'm like, I like have PTSD. I can see it on your face. Yeah, from my high school, it's just very like daunting how they set it all up, you know? And our cafeteria was kind of in the middle and you'd have these two staircases that went up. So like you'd have eyes on everybody that was coming down to the cafeteria and it was just like the stadium

of, I don't know. So for me, it was just safer to chill in the bathroom with my sandwich. When did you start acting and sort of branching out into your creative career? Did that happen while you were in high school? No, not until I finished.

For some reason, I had no yearning to go to drama class. I never did a drama class in my life. But it's such a cool thing to do. Why not? All the cool kids are in drama. I know. No, I don't know.

I just knew that I would pick it up later on. And I didn't want to do it in school. I wanted to just do other things. Because I maybe deep down was like, oh, I want that as a career. I want to do that full time in the future. Let's not do that right now. Yeah. You know, and do other things.

You had strategies. You had wits and you had strategy. I was probably also super shy. I mean, I don't love acting classes as it is. Do you know what I mean? Nobody loves acting class. I don't think I like acting class. I think some people love an acting class, but it's very daunting to me.

And I think that that's what I felt, too, in school. How did you break into the industry? I started acting. I actually, so I grew up in Vancouver, but I moved to Toronto when I was about 18. And when I came to Toronto, I was taking different acting classes. And I was like, all right, like my favorite show. Oh, I'd been on DeGrassey. I did one episode.

So that was like me getting my toes wet. And I'm like, oh, I love this. How did that happen? And did you meet Drake? I didn't meet Drake. I had a scene with Nina Dobrev. I was modeling, and it was my modeling agency that was like, hey, they are casting a model actor. You said you wanted to act, blah, blah, blah.

And so I auditioned for it, got it. And that was my first thing. And then from that, I got an acting agent and went through it like that. And then my show that I had on my vision board, I'm very vision board. I had gossip girl. And I was like, I want to be on a show. the States. I was like, this was the biggest thing. I was a huge fan. And I'm like, you know, there's nothing like that in Canada. And I need to get to the States. So that was

like my show. And I was like, I have to get there. And Nina was telling me about a show she had just booked, which was, you know, obviously vampire diaries. So, you know, I've made a connection in the States through my agency and then auditioned to get on pretty little liars when it came out and then moved to the States right after that and the rest of its history. So your vision board uh you kind of put a few things on it you got like you got like two out of three you really you're like your success rate is pretty solid i feel like yeah absolutely i had a teen choice board on there i had palm trees wait and you've got a teen choice award haven't you yeah yeah wow my god you manifested tell us what else was on your vision board i want to hear so that was there i had a white range over

Do you have a white rangeover? I did have a white rangeover. When I first moved to L.A., I got a white forward escape, and that was my first step to then getting a white rangerover. Then I had a Spanish-style-looking house. Do you have a Spanish-style? I don't think we need to even ask anymore. I think it's fair to say,

Al-Shay, can you come do a vision board for me? I'm going to take it one step, even like, I was going to say creepier, but cooler. This house that I had seen, I had saved a picture of the kitchen, and I ended up moving into that exact. Shut the front door. I'm not going to lie, I also may have manifested like Atlas. And I had a photo of this baby, and I've had it saved. I show it to everybody.

Oh, my God. And I literally was like, oh, my gosh, all of a sudden I saw this baby. I can't tell you if I saw it on Pinterest. It was not on Instagram. It was like something way back. So it was on your wall on Myspace. There's no walls on Myspace. I saved it.

And literally my daughter, like Atlas has like crazy green eyes. and that's the same thing that these babies are very bad. It's just crazy. Was there anything on your vision board that you didn't see through? Well, one thing, I mean, I have Italy on there, and I think that's in the future. That's not a yeah now thing, but that's probably where I'm going to end up. But, I mean, have you been to Italy, or are you supposed to become the prime minister? Or what?

Like, what's the... It's my favorite note. My thing with Italy is just that I have a home there, and I, you know, learn how to make pasta. I feel like that's... I feel like we're six months away from that. I mean, you never know. That's just sort of up to you. That's just sort of like, I don't know. No, you're right.

And it was so funny because I was looking back. I also saw a lot of psychics in my day, and I wrote down this one psychic meeting that I had. Truly, if I were to show you all the things that she said, everything came true. She was like, oh, six months from now, you're going to meet this guy, you know, gave me the initials of my then manager. In a year or something like that, you're going to book the show. You'll work this point. Like, she literally stated it all that down to, like, my. my future children's gender, which so far she's been right.

And it's just wild. But I am a very big believer of manifesting and visualization. Like, I really am. Also fate, but like... And you're a sorceress, obviously. I mean, I'm honestly far less impressed by this psychic. I also, I mean, I'm going to be honest, before I got you, I did say I broke down, I want to shoot a show in New York.

And you came about. And that shot in New York. And that was like always something that I'd wanted to do. so you have to be careful how much longer do we have tell me what wishes yeah but I don't know I feel like anybody can do it yeah really have to believe it you have to believe it it can't be wishy-wash what was your vision board on

cork board okay is somebody writing this down it was in my farm in Toronto and I pinned them all up and it was in my kitchen color with the pins They were like, the little silver ones you got from IKEA. Like, I just fully believed it. I mean, it's not like I was like, oh, let's see if this works. I knew it would. Well, I feel like there's part of manifestation that is, like, that seems kind of mystical.

But then there's also part of it that's not mystical at all. It's like, of course, the things that you write down, the goals that you set for yourself, if you're like thinking about them consistently or you're reminding yourself to work on them. Yeah. Yes. I watched this video yesterday of Carrie Washington talking about. I saw it. You saw it?

Tick-Tock? Yes, huge. Loved that. I'd never heard of this. Tell us about it. Tell us about it. Okay. One of the concepts she talks about is she says you have to pray and then you have to run. Like if, well, oh God, I'm really butchering this.

Okay. She's saying, no, no, no. Okay. So, I'm with you. No, okay. So imagine there's, you're waiting for a bus. Okay, imagine the bus coming is your. opportunity, right? And so if you're going to try and catch that bus, you need to pray and then

you need to run as fast as you can. And if you're not running... But aren't you wasting time praying? You know how much I love to pray. I don't know about this. You may miss all the buses. However, if you think I want to catch that bus praying, just saying that's my bus and you book it for the bus and the bus takes off and you didn't get on it, it wasn't meant to be your bus. But if you want to get on that bus and you just slowly walk towards it and it leaves, that could have been your bus and that's a missed opportunity. So basically just like having a goal on sending something, but really working hard for it. Because if it doesn't work out, if you don't book that job, then it wasn't meant to be. But it wasn't meant to be if you really try.

You know what I mean? Totally. Sometimes when you don't get that job, but you did prepare for that audition is actually a blessing. You weren't meant to get it. Yeah. But if you don't prepare for the job and you don't book the audition, well, it could have been yours and it could have been life-changing. But that's on you. Thank God for you.

Yeah, because we were not having that from Sophie's retail. Wait, I know there's a bus. I know there's... When I was younger, before I had a legal ID, I was out in clubs. All right. Maybe not telling my parents I was staying at somebody else's house when I wasn't. My dad did end up showing up at the club. And it was like picking out all the little duck lanes, which were my friends.

No way. One of the mums had told him where we were because she didn't let her daughter go. And he came to the club and he told the bouncer, he was like, you're going to want to let me in because my underage daughter and her friends are all inside. And he came in and found each and every one of us. And we got dragged out like little ducklings and it was probably 16. And in Canada, the legal drinking ages is 19. So it wasn't, yes, we were pretty young to be in a club.

then I may or may not have done it again, but, you know, it's something that I won't ever forget. I just did it better the next time. So, yeah, yeah. Wait, Shay, I have to ask, what was the conversation at home like when you were separated from your friends? You know what's funny? My dad still loves to tell this story. He actually wasn't that angry. He was laughing. He thought it was funny. You know, he knew that this would be a story. He'd love to tell his friends that he pulled us all out. But I was angry. Like, I flipped the switch. And instead of being like, okay, I'm sorry. No, I turned angry and I was like, how did you pull us out? I was having a good time. He was like, you're 16. So I flipped the switch to him. And it's so funny now, again, being a parent, because I'm like, what would I do in that situation, you know? But I thought it was my right to be out and how dare you catch me. In high school, I was living in China and there was no drinking age, at least for foreigners living in China. And so it was just like super normal for all the kids. my high school to be going out. I would tell my parents I was going to sleep over at somebody's

house and I would go to the club. But in middle school, I was more like, I remember someone asked me, they were like, come with me to McDonald's. It was late at night. I was like, I'm not going to be allowed. I have to stay home. They're like, just sneak out. And I was like, no, I could never. I pray that my daughter is like you. I pray. I remember when I was in seventh grade, we were at like this kid's beach house. Everyone, we were playing like spin the bottle. And I was like, should I play? Should I not? And then I ended up playing and I kissed this kid named Sarel. And then I started crying and it was like my first kiss.

And I was like, nobody tell my mom. I don't know why anyone would tell my mom. But I was like going up to each person at the party like, nobody tell my mom. She's going to be so disappointed in me. And then as soon as I got home, I hugged my mom and started crying. And I was like, I kissed that in today. Oh my gosh. That's the kind of 12 year old that I was.

I mean, that's amazing. Here I am telling my stories about sneaking up multiple times and like not feeling bad about it. Oh my gosh. I think that's more normal. See, I don't feel like I, the circumstance that existed for a lot of us who were working, we were already professional, our school situation was all over the place. We were a bunch of college graduates who had never been to high school. And, you know, you're so young, you feel so old somehow, but you're just so young.

When I see 16-year-olds now, my goodness. Well, you think they look older or younger when you see 16-year-olds now? Oh, no, no, no, I think they look younger. They look like babies to me. Really? I mean, what? You think they... I think the opposite.

No, when I see 16-year-old girls now, I think because of YouTube and TikTok and all the makeup tutorials and I think they have grown up way faster and look a lot more mature than when I was growing up. No, I feel you there. I don't know, is it when you talk to them, or actually more, when you hear them talk. I was, so I went in my car on the streets of New York, the hard scrabble streets of New York City, sitting in my Subaru Outback. And I had my window cracked in between two phone calls

and I heard a bunch of like 14, 15-year-old kids walk by. And to me, it's like I heard them say something that you wouldn't want to hear an adult say, but they sounded like babies. They sound like babies trading back. You know what I mean? They were like parroting what they thought they should be saying. I don't want to even know what I sounded

like at 16. I'm like, thank goodness was not like voice recording version of Instagram. You know what I mean? Oh my God. Yes. Absolutely. Are enough? Like, thank goodness. When I was in, like, middle high school, like, on the cusp, there was this thing where you would record videos on people's walls on Facebook.

And you would record them like as if you're just sending them a text. And it would be public videos. And some friends of mine found them recently. And they're mortifying. It's just like, hey. It's like you're taking a photo booth video. That is amazing. Just like chatting to your friend.

Here's how connected to that idea I just was. When you said on their. wall. I literally thought you meant on their wall. I mean, like now I even sound like I'm trying to sound like an old man. No, I literally thought. I believe you. I actually do believe you. I was like Facebook on their wall. Did you have

my space? I did for a moment and it literally was to stay in touch with a girl that I had met who lived across the world and I used my mom's laptop and her little like internet card that like stuck in the side. Yeah, it was a little card. And I crafted this

to be like, this is just my page. But all I ever thought about was what this woman would think. Did you have a song? I know. That's what I was just going to say, like, what was your song? I probably put a DeAngelo song.

This just gets better and better. Oh, my gosh. Things you never knew. What about you, Shay? Did you have a Mice Face? I did have a Mice Face. My song was probably, I don't know. J-Lo.

I'm thinking that's when her album on The Six came out. Big J-Lo fan. Janet Jackson, yeah. Oh, on the six. My love don't cost a thing. Maybe it was that. Probably was.

I felt like super techy when I had my space because I could go in and do the codes. Remember we were doing that? No, what do you mean? You had to like change your background. So to change your background to get like cool things added to it. Like MP3 players to your page, you'd have to go in and code through the back. And like, I did that. And now I have no idea how to start a Zoom, you know?

So I think back to those moments. I wish I could try and find mine. I don't know. Do they delete the whole thing? Who knows? But that would be funny to see it. You know, my husband, he told me about this website where you can go back and find old web pages that no longer exist.

Like, he found his old band website from 2005 or something or 2008. It's really, really cool. And also, I don't want anyone to know about that website. I'm like, don't really see what you are. Exactly. So, yeah. Cool. Period.

Leave it at that, please. all right so um let's just let's just real talk as they say for a second that's a little bit of an aged thing to say now that that dates me doesn't it um but no real talk uh how important is your health to you you know on like a one to ten and i don't mean the in the sense of vanity i mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well right you want to be less stressed you don't want it as sick when you have responsibilities um i know myself i'm a householder i have uh I have two children and two more on the way, a spouse, a pet, you know, a job that sometimes has its demands.

So I really want to feel like when I'm not getting the sleep and I'm not getting nutrition, when my eating's down, I want to know that I'm being held down some other way physically. You know, my family holds me down emotionally, spiritually, but I need something to hold me down physically, right? And so honestly, I turn to symbiotica, these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious. And I'm telling you, even before I started doing ads for these guys,

it was a product that I really, really liked and enjoyed and could see the differences with. The three that I use, I use the, what is it called, the liposomal vitamin C, and it tastes delicious, like really, really good. Comes out in the packet, you put it right in your mouth. Some people don't do that. I do it. I think it tastes great.

I use the liposomal glutathione as well in the morning. really good for gut health and although I don't need it you know anti-aging and then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8 which is really good for I think mood and stress I sometimes use it in the morning sometimes use it at night all three of these things taste incredible

honestly you don't even need to mix it with water and yeah I just couldn't recommend them highly enough if you want to try them out go to symbiotica.com slash podcrush for 20% off plus free shipping That's symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. As the seasons change, it's the perfect time to learn something new. Whether you're getting back into a routine after summer or looking for a new challenge before the year ends, Rosetta Stone makes it easy to turn a few minutes a day into real language progress.

Rosetta Stone is the trusted leader in language learning for over 30 years. Their immersive, intuitive method helps you naturally absorb and retain, your new language on desktop or mobile whenever and wherever it fits your schedule. Rosetta Stone immerses you in your new language naturally, helping you think and communicate with confidence. There are no English translation so you truly learn to speak, listen, and think in your chosen language. The other day I was actually at the grocery store and I asked one of the people working there if they could help me find a specific item and she was like, sorry, I actually don't speak English. She only spoke Spanish. And I was like, if only I, my Spanish

was good enough to be able to have this conversation in Spanish, we would be sorted. And that's where Rosetta Stone comes in. I really need to get back on my Rosetta Stone grind. With 30 years of experience, millions of users, and 25 languages to choose from, including Spanish, French, German, Japanese, and more. Rosetta Stone is the go-to tool for real language growth. A lifetime membership gives you access to all 25 languages so you can learn as many as you want whenever you want. Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential now. Podcrush listeners can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off.

That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit rosettastone.com slash podcrush to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don't miss out. Go to Rosettastone.com slash podcrush and start learning today. The first few weeks of school are in the books. and now's the time to keep that momentum going. I-XL helps kids stay confident and ahead of the curve. I-XL is an award-winning online learning platform

that helps kids truly understand what they're learning. Whether they're brushing up on math or diving into social studies, it covers math, language arts, science, and social studies from pre-K through 12th grade, with content that's engaging, personalized, and yes, actually fun. It's the perfect tool to keep learning going without making it feel like school. I actually used I Excel quite a bit when I was teaching fifth grade.

I used it for my students to give like extra problems for practice or sometimes I also used it to just check on what the standards were in my state for any given topic in math or reading or writing. It's just a helpful tool all around for teachers, for parents, for students. I honestly do love it. Studies have shown that kids who use I Excel score higher on tests. This has been proven in almost every state in the U.S. So if your child is struggling, this is a smart investment that you can make in their learning. A single hour of tutoring costs more than a month of IXL. Don't miss out.

One in four students in the U.S. are learning with IXL, and IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now. And Podcrush listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL memberships when they sign up today. at Iexl.com slash podcrushed. Visit Ixl.com slash podcrushed to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. I actually, I went to middle school in the Philippines. Mall culture in the Philippines is like huge. You spend all Saturday at the mall. And one of the things that was really notable for me is that, I mean, the Philippines is always at any given moment,

it's like above 92 degrees, right? It's like sweltering. Yes. But, But the mall was, like, pumped full of AC, and that's the one place where we got to show off, our winter fashion. AKA jeans and, like, a three-quarter-length shirt. And us. It was like, ugs were big. But you had to have ugs, and the only place you could wear them was at the mall. So we'd spend all day there. I had this shirt that I would wear so often that had, like, the Beatles on it.

And I remember feeling so cool. Like, I was like, yeah, my older siblings showed me the Beatles, and I know all their stuff. songs. I love that. Malls are very big, as Penn and I both can attest from our trip to the Philippines. Actually, was that the last time that we saw each other? I think it is. Can you tell us about that? I feel like I saw a video that was insane of you guys at a mall in the Philippines. I think our perspectives are probably very different from that trip. No, I want to hear about yours first. I mean, I was very excited. I'd been there and I was super excited to go back. My mom's from there. So much of how I grew up with seeing my aunts and my uncles and the food and the people and they're so warm and all of that was very nostalgic because I remember just growing up and having farties and barbecues with all of my Filipino side, which is a lot.

My mom is one of 10. So, you know, it was really great to be able to go back, not only to talk about the show and be there, but like to bring somebody else and have them experience it through their eyes. So I remember having the dessert, like, hollow, hollow. We had hollow hollow at, you know, one of the hotels, and it was like the biggest hollow hollow. It was not normal to get at that size. So I just remember laughing so hard when they brought it out because Penn's like, what is this?

And, you know, it's massive. But I know that that's not the typical size of it. But he doesn't know that. So he's just like, does you eat all this? And I'm like, we got to finish it, you know? And it's just him and these photos with us, Hollow Hollow. And then to your point,

mind we went to the mall after to do sort of a meet and greet and they were very passionate and they were very excited to see him and there were a lot of people so we were greeted by I don't know you think it was a thousand or maybe more than a thousand? That looks like definitely more than a thousand It was maybe thousands

of people screaming in a mall which is very loud because there's no soft fabric in a mall it's just the only soft fabric are the people inside showing off their winter evidently everything else it's just a marble like ear canal.

I don't think I'd ever been greeted from the moments the elevator door opened by such a wall of just screaming, faces, flashing, screaming so many thousands. And it was just like yeah, I don't know. So had you, I mean, was that like

more typical for you? No, it's not, it was definitely not typical. However, my memory that you're explaining happened in Brazil when I went. I went to Brazil. We went to Sao Paulo and Rio and our show was very big

for PLL there and I went with Lucy and I'll never forget even landing at the airport. So many people showing up at the airport, knocking down gates. I was so freaked out. This is my first show like this. Getting in the car, there's people speeding motorbikes taking photos

to then getting to our hotel and I remember seeing photos of me in my hotel room because they had gotten on other buildings shooting in there. So that was something for me that I was just like a slightly traumatized a little bit and just like oh my god like my balcony if i step out then they see and there's so many incredible people but they were just like they were outside of our hotel and and so passionate but you know when it's just you and then thousands upon thousands

of fans it's a little daunting so i had to have that experience you keep saying things like a little I know because it is it is it was very daunting you know looking back on it because you're also like thank you so much for being so passionate and it's you know because of you guys that our show is huge but when I'm here and I've never been to this place and I can't go outside because I'm in fear of being trampled that's scary so I felt a little bit safer in the Philippines it was a little I don't know for the I don't know what it was I think just because I had experienced it once before. I was a little more prepared I don't know It was still a lot though It always is It was funny too Because like up in my room

Across the highway Because there aren't that many tall buildings In Manila Like I guess there's centers where there are But it's not like New York City for instance Totally So I could see across Like really far into the horizon

And there was a giant billboard That just had my face on it And just said you And it just was a very very Truman Show experience where there's just my face and it just says you and I'm like you me wow right I can't imagine you know it's not a normal experience to have I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to anybody that's 10's experience there and I'm in my hotel room ordering everything off like just eating away as he's looking at himself and I'm just like yeah I love the food there

and I brought my best friend which was also amazing because when you're by yourself on a trip it's very different. I would love to go back. It was beautiful. You know, we went and we had a really nice time after that as well. It's like one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. I want to go back too. I haven't been back since I was 13 or maybe 14 and maybe go back with Penn. Yeah. Be a friend with him and experience it in a different way. We'll travel like Filipino gangsters, you know. A whole entourage. Squad. Yeah. Yes, exactly. You see me on that billboard? Have people been respectful with you being out with Atlas? Have you ever had encounters where you felt like this is crossing a line and with my kids?

Yeah, that's when it gets a little bit more protective because when you come up to me recording, that's, I don't care, makeup, makeup, no one. I don't get, like, I don't, I'll take a photo no matter what I am looking like when I'm out or how I feel. But we went in with my daughter, you know, and it's a very tricky thing because people say, well, you post her on social. Yeah, I do. And that's so that I was in control of her image and I wanted to put her out when I wanted to put her out. And so I didn't have weirdos trying to get that creepy first photo of her anyways. But for me, it's like there has to be a real respect level when it comes to walking up to her and taking them. And that has happened before where they just thought, oh my God, that's like your little mini me like hi.

And I was like, put your phone down. Like you can take a photo with me. You can not take a photo with her. I will put her photo out when I feel like it. But, yeah, that's like a whole other level. And it really, like, you know, I'm sure Penn can attach it. Like, it's like, Mama Bear really does come out with that. Mama Bear Penn comes out.

Yeah, Mama Bear Penn comes out, watch out, you know. But it's tough. What do you do? There's no rulebook to anything. And especially in this kind of weird light that we're in, it's like, you know, it's like, what way do you go? Do you never post-vote? I've talked to my friends that haven't done that, and sometimes they even feel. I've tried that.

Right. Like, you know, but then at the end of the day, if they want to see a photo of your kid, you just Google it. I don't care how hard you try and hide it. I can find photos of everybody. And it's such a tricky thing that I think about constantly. Like, did I do the right? Did I not? What? I am in a somewhat of a public figure lay and I chose that for my life and she'll too. But if it's done in a protective way and you have respect, then I'm okay with it. But it's weird. You don't know. You don't know. what's right. You're just trying to do what you feel. Yeah. Yeah, of course. No one knows. From what you're describing it, you know, it's a lot of accomplishments. And I'm just wondering if you've had moments of like failure and how you've met that and how you've sort of recovered from that. I really do try to leave that in the room. Like once I walk out of an audition or I'm done, I'm done. And whatever's meant to be will be to that point. If I've tried really hard, that's all I can do. And I don't think about it too much longer after that. And I think similarly

I was starting, you know, businesses. I started base, which is my travel line about almost like four years ago. And I remember just being so nervous the night before it launched. And I was like, oh my gosh, but what if? Like, this doesn't do well. Like, I've poured my heart and soul. And and then this wasn't something I was just putting my face on like every zipper, every detail I showed that in a video, how involved I was. This is my like first born child was this brand. And then there was a point where I was just like, okay, but if it fails and it doesn't work out, then what? Then I had the guts to try doing it. And that's honestly how I live my life, you know, if it's starting things, if it's executive producing things, if it's doing things that I've never done before and I probably don't even have the experience or the education for it, I don't care.

I throw myself into it because I know in the experience I'll figure it out. And for me, that's the best way that I learn. It's not school. I'm not very academic. And I have to be thrown into an experience to fully understand all aspects of it. So more than the failures, because I don't look at them like that, I just kind of see them as like missteps. And then, you know, you get back on the path and you learn from them. So that sounds like a grit, you know, like not getting stuck or like dwelling in something that didn't work out.

Because what's the point? We don't know how much time we have. I'm not going to spend it worrying about what could have or should have been. I put the effort in if it doesn't work out it wasn't meant for me and there's something else coming and that's just how I view it and I think you have to especially in the creative space and acting

there's so many jobs you won't get but then something comes around and you're like thank God I didn't get that you know like 99% of them you actually will not get it I'll tell you my key to success is when an opportunity comes along I rigorously doubt it and then I say no

and then somehow it just happens And, you know, it takes off. It takes off. And eight years in, you're just like, wow. You know? Oh, my God. You sign once on that dotted line. And then it just goes.

It just goes. You say yes for one moment. Every time I see a new pickup, I'm just like, I love it. I'm so excited for you. Shay, I watched so much, maybe all of your series on YouTube about being pregnant. I was hilarious. I love it so much. But I'm wondering, I mean, this is kind of related to what we were just talking about, but I'm wondering if having a child, having your second, if it's brought up anything for you. Like, sometimes having a child can bring up things for you that you haven't thought

about, like, how you were parented or, yeah, I'm just wondering, like, what has it brought up for you in, like, thinking back on your life and your experience. Oh, I'm so fortunate. I have a really close relationship to my parents. You know, they really just, I don't know, they were great at pushing you to go for things you want, but never too much. Like, I didn't go to university or college and there was never even a like, why not? Like, they were like, okay, you want to explore and go. And like, but always done in like the right amount, not too free, just the right amount, you know, and it was just I always felt unconditional love from them. And I think that's my biggest lesson is I've truly felt like that is the most purest form of unconditional love was how I got it

from my parents and I hope to instill that with Atlas. We had dinners every single night and I hated it back in the day. I was like, this is horrible. None of my friends have to sit down. They can watch they can eat dinner and watch TV. Like I wanted, you know, but now I look back at all the things that they had us do and I grew up with my grandparents too. So it was like a house of seven. My great grandma, my dad's mom, and my dad's dad. And that, too, was such a huge part of building who I am, you know, so. Has having kids shifted at all your relationship with, like, spirituality or, you know, I don't know, Shay, if you have any kind of spiritual practices or beliefs, but I've heard people say when they have kids, they sort of, like, think about it in a fresh way. And I'm just

curious if that's happened. Yeah, it's interesting. I don't know. For me, I think I've leaned on it even more so spirituality and just like, you know, the greater spirit for me in my case. And I think that because when you have a child, I mean, you're just like, oh, my gosh, wanting to do everything in your power to protect them. And there's only so much you can do. So you really do have to rely on like this greater spirit, you know, and whatever anybody wants to call that. And so for me, I've definitely leaned on it more and also therapy.

I'm like truth be told I've upped my therapy game a lot more in having kids because I like I always tell everybody the moment you find out you're pregnant until the end of time you're always thinking about them you know so it definitely changes

Penn I'm sure you have I just think it kind of magnified you know in the last few months of Dom's pregnancy I happen to be reading genesis like the you know the first chapter of the old testament and something about that was really mystical for me i was a little bit like blown away by how mystical it was and somehow that really

did carry into like by the time he was born i don't know there was just this very serene excitement like as he was coming through and and um and uh you know being in the presence of someone giving birth is like really it's really powerful it's not the first time it had happened because I have because my wife is a doula and I had actually driven somebody in labor to the hospital before in the city and I did that whole thing where I like rolled the window down

I was going to the tunnel and I was like hey man I have someone giving birth in the back like you need to let me through and it was like oh okay it was like I was Hugh Grant in a movie and I don't know why I said Hugh Grant no totally that was perfect But Shout out to Hugh Grant

That was no shade Much respect And I recall the feeling then It's like being Being in the presence of someone giving birth Is really really really Really powerful And for me

I don't get anxious It kind of it's the opposite I like I drop way down into this serenity And I'm like This is what we're here for Let's do this You know? And just answer your question simply

as I said, it's just magnified. I don't know that anything has changed, so to speak, except that to me it's ever more important to raise a responsible, caring, sensitive human being is just like it's just, it's just huge in my mind. And he's

not old enough yet for me to feel like that's a challenge. He's just so sweet. He's just so friggin' sweet. Yes. Yeah, so. I have not

given birth yet, hopefully one day in the future. But I believe that there's like a physical plane and there's a spiritual plane. And I knew someone who was telling me about her birth and she was saying that when she gave birth was like the one moment in her life where she felt like she was in both planes. Like she was almost, yeah, she had like one foot in each. And it was like She was like a portal for a different realm or reality. That's what it feels like you're in the presence of, though. That's what, to me, I mean, are you like not... Not being the one to do it, yeah.

Not being the one. No, I was saying, it feels like you're standing next to the portal. Right. That's what I'm saying. It's like I can only, I can't imagine what it would be like to be the portal. That's ridiculous. That is science fiction right there. Yeah, truly.

Yeah. It's so crazy. how, I mean, every experience truly is different. That's not my experience. Oh, man. I really, you know, I really wish I was like, just could go in, like, into it in a very different way. I'm, you know, this time around, like, going in there and like, please give me the epidural

immediately. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, that's fair. I tried. And it just was not for me. But, yeah, I could definitely see that. That's a good way to put it actually as a portal.

I mean, it's very, yeah, it's true. I mean, look, the portal is happening either way. Like, I'm sensitive to what you're saying, Shea, because my wife also being somebody who is in the birth world, like I know that there's a problematic thing where people have this idea of, you know, what like a natural, quote-unquote, beautiful birth is going to be like. And, you know, you talk about all this beautiful, lovely stuff, and it is amazing.

But then, you know, a lot of women, I dare say probably even, I think, statistically, it might be most women are having... traumatic births in some manner. I mean, it is, like, potentially, there's a lot happening there. And, I mean, even my wife's first child is, like, is a profoundly different experience. Like, I mean, she nearly died. Wow. I had really severe pre-partum last time, which I'd also never really heard about.

I'd only heard about postpartum. And, you know, it was really crazy to go through that and not know if I was like, okay, I know that this happens at the end, but I'm feeling like weird now, and I haven't even given birth, so this is terrifying. Again, I think that's a thing that I always find so important to talk about is that everybody's experience is different. As much as you want it to be this amazing thing, it can be for some, but sometimes it's not always amazing, and that's okay, you know, and we're not all meant to be glowing, you know, giving birth. Sometimes you can walk in and just say, put it in my back, and that is me. So I also have to be like that voice for people because I feel like that's equally as important as saying, you know, like the contrary. It's so true.

I would be a very interesting doula. I'd like, oh my God, how many milligrams just me with the needle? Like, what do you want? Full or half? Do you want to walk right after in, you know, a couple days? Sorry, did you say yes? Because I'm already... I can't remember, but I've already put it in your back.

I'm not going to feel a thing. It's great. You wanted this. Yeah, it's wild. Portal, all of that. When you actually sit and think about it, or for me, my case, when I lie down, and I'm just thinking, I'm like, there's, like, there's, like, teeth and stuff that are in there. You know, like, it's, like, you can really wild out.

Did you say there's teeth? Yeah. Yeah. There's teeth in there? Teeth in Potentia. I was like, yeah, there's teeth pen. Yeah. Like, my future.

grandchildren, it's like all of it. It's wild. It's crazy. It's crazy. It is wild. So our classic closing last question is, if you could talk to middle school, Shay, what would you say to her? What would I say to her?

I would say, like, stop trying to conform. Like, I tried to conform so much when I was in middle school. I was definitely a minority. I grew up at a predominantly Caucasian high school, all my best friends to this day from school, middle school, or blonde, blue eyes, and a fairer complexion. And I did everything in my power from getting contacts to dyeing my hair blonde to stain out of the sun so I wouldn't get tanned. And I look back and I'm just like, stop, just stop trying to conform. Like, be yourself and it sounds so cliche, but like, like embrace. your uniqueness and that is what I would say to myself back then because it I mean they are funny

photos but there's also a hint of like sadness to them when I'm like oh my gosh you're literally doing everything in your power to be the opposite of what you were born with you know and that's so crazy and I would never want Atlas to like do that I'd be like are you crazy like you're born this way you're beautiful you know and my parents of course did say that but you know your friend group and what you have in your mind sometimes outweighs what anybody else's opinion is. But yeah, that's what I would say. And I would say that to anybody truthfully. Yeah, I would need to hear that.

Truly, especially in this day and age, even with all the platforms, like what sets you apart is your uniqueness. And that's what people are interested in. They don't want to see the same thing over and over again. So for your business, for everything, relationships, personal friendship, like, just be you. It's exhausting to try and be anything else. It's been real, Shea. Thank you so much for having me.

So nice to meet you. Enjoy your time in London. Do you eat fish and chips? Thank you. Yeah, I like it. That may be a craving now that's set in my mind that I have to end up going and getting it. Put it on your vision board. It's on my vision board.

As she's backing away from her vision board, she's going to trip over a tin of fish and chips. Up next, Penn reads today's listener-submitted middle school story. Stick around. Fall is in full swing, and it's the perfect time to refresh your wardrobe with pieces that feel as good as they look. Luckily, Quince makes it easy to look polished, stay warm, and save big, without compromising on quality. Quince has all the elevated essentials for fall. Think 100% Mongolian cashmere from $50. That's right, $50, washable silk tops and skirts, and perfectly tailored denim, all at prices that feel too good to be true.

I am currently eyeing their silk miniskirt. I have been dying for a silk miniskirt. I've been looking everywhere at thrift stores, just like all over town. But I just saw that Quince has one on their website. It is exactly what I've been looking for. So I'm just going to click, put that in my cart. By partnering directly with ethical top-tier factories, Quince cuts out the middlemen to deliver luxury quality pieces at half the price of similar brands.

It's the kind of wardrobe upgrade that feels smart, stylish, and effortless. Keep it classic and cozy this fall with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to quince.com slash podcrushed for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-Ce.com slash podcrushed to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash podcrushed. Does anyone else ever get that nagging feeling that their dog might be bored? and do you also feel like super guilty about it? Well, one way that I combat that feeling is I'm making meal time

everything it can be for my little boy, Louie. Nom Nom does this with food that actually engages your pup senses with a mix of tantalizing smells, textures, and ingredients. Nom Nom offers six recipes bursting with premium proteins, vibrant veggies and tempting textures designed to add excitement to your dog's day. Pork potluck, chicken cuisine, turkey fair, mash, lamb pilaf, and turkey and chicken cookout. I mean, are you kidding me? I want to eat these recipes. Each recipe is cooked gently in small batches to seal in vital nutrients and maximize

digestibility. And their recipes are crafted by vet nutritionists. So I feel good knowing it's design with Louis' health and happiness in mind. Serve nom nom nom as a complete and balanced meal or is a tasty and healthy addition to your dog's current diet. My dogs are like my children. literally, which is why I'm committed to giving them only the best. Hold on. Let me start again because I've only been talking about Louie. Louis is my bait. Louis, you might have heard him growl just now. Louis is my little baby and I'm committed to only giving him the best. I love that Nom Nom Nom's recipes contain wholesome nutrient rich food, meat that looks like meat and veggies that look like veggies because shocker they are. Louis has been going absolutely nuts for the lamb pilaf. I have to

confess that he's never had anything like it and he cannot get enough. So he's a lampy laugh guy. Keep mealtime exciting with nom-num available at your local pet smart store or at Chewy. Learn more at trynom.com slash podcrushed, spelled try-n-o-m-com slash podcrushed. And welcome to Nava's favorite part. Nava quick, what was your favorite part? I know last time I had to go first. My favorite part was the story Nava told in the beginning about her first kiss. How have we been doing this podcast? And I've never heard that story of Nava's first kiss.

It was hilarious and so like characteristically Nava, I feel like. Yeah, definitely characteristic. Going to each person, don't tell my mom. Don't tell my mom. Who tells her mom? I know. Nava. The moment I walk in the door.

The part that I didn't share was I was like hysterical because I was like building up to tell her. And she was like, did you have something? sex with a boy in the building. Whoa. Your mom already knew. And then it was much easier to tell her that I kiss. And then I told her I kissed and she started laughing. She's like, oh, okay.

So funny. Okay, Penn, favorite part. Favorite part? There were a lot of them. Her vision board. I don't know. I find that to be fitting for Shea. Just that, I don't know.

For her, it almost seems like appreciating that she has every difficulty and anxiety that all people do, like, something seems very simple and direct about that, and I can really appreciate that. And I was just thinking, like, yeah, I'm not a vision board person, that's for sure. My favorite part was the conversation on pregnancy and just her candor. I really appreciated that because, yeah, I think women are so harshly judged and whatever they're doing, whatever they're feeling, it's the wrong thing, according to some camp. Yeah, that's a good point. So I really appreciated that she was straightforward about it.

Today's story comes from the Philippines. It's pretty out there. It's almost unbelievable. in the literal sense, so you might want to buckle in. Hi, I had a very tame middle school experience here in the Philippines because my parents were extremely strict and I also wasn't as adventurous as a child should be. So, the craziest thing I've ever done was in sixth grade. A few of my friends invited me to go to the mall one afternoon and I knew right then and there that my parents weren't going to allow me. Normally my friends would have taken the bus that day, but one of their parents offered a drive. I decided to have my moment of rebellion.

$10 in my pocket, knowing damn well, I'd be home pretty late. I went. On the way there, there was a huge commotion. In the middle of the entire highway, drivers from different cars and school buses were fleeing their vehicles and running away to where I had no idea where they could go. At first, we genuinely thought that a movie was being shot there, or there was some really cool kind of.

highway party going on? I never went out. What did I know? Then we heard gunshots, real gunshots. We all started panicking. My friend's parents told us to cover our heads and hide under the seats. We were terrified and I just wanted to go home so badly and hug my mom and apologize immediately. We soon realized this was a bank robbery taking place. The robbers were firing shots everywhere, even at civilians, and I literally saw someone get shot in the leg. The robbers were using public buses for cover, and I could only imagine how much worse things would have been if we had ridden the bus.

The whole thing lasted about 10 minutes, but it's etched in my memory forever. I can vividly see the silhouettes of men holding guns lined up against our cars. I got home really late that night. I didn't have a cell phone or way to reach my parents. They were on the verge of calling the police when I walked in. I was a terrible kid.

Ten years later, and my parents still don't know what happened that day, where I went, who I was with, and then I was a part of a highway shootout. Oops. Sorry, Mom. You can catch Shea Mitchell in the Hulu series, Dollface, or you can just follow her online at Shea Mitchell. Pod Crush is hosted by Penn Badgley, Navakavalin, and Sophie Ansari.

Our executive producer is Nora Richie from Stitcher. Our lead producer and editor is David Ansari. Our secondary editor is Sharaf and Twizzle. Special thanks to Peter Clowney, VP of Content at Stitcher, Eric Eddings, Director of Lifestyle Programming at Stitcher, Jared O'Connell and Brendan Bryans for the tech support, and Shruti Marante, who transcribes our tape. Podcrush was created by Navak Havelin,

and is executive produced by Penn Badgley and Navakavalin, and produced by Sophie Ansari. This podcast is a 9th mode production. Be sure to subscribe to Podcrush. You can find us on Stitcher, the Serious XM app, Spotify, Apple Podcast. or wherever you listen. If you'd like to submit a middle school story,

go to podcrush.com and give us every detail. And while you're online, be sure to follow us on socials, or we're telling everyone that your mom still walks you to the bus stop. You don't want that. It's at Podcresh, spelled how it sounds, and our personals are at Fembadjley, at NAVA, that's NAVA with three ends,

and at Scribble by Sophie. And we're out. See you next week. Shay, on a very superficial aside, I was actually looking at your bags yesterday because I'm looking for a travel bag. And I was like, But I don't know, because I feel like celebrities endorse things

and they really don't care. So to hear you say that, I'm going to buy one. No, I got you, girl. I got you. Put it on your vision board. No. Oh, yeah, it's on there. And let's just see what happens.

Shea, I don't want you to contact her. Let's just see. Yeah, this is an experiment. See if I find you. Stitcher.