Podcrushed - Topher Grace

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

Topher Grace (That 70's Show, Oceans 11, Interstellar) drops by the pod and immediately has the hosts in stitches. From his earliest days of wondering why his farts didn't get the kind of laughs the other kids' farts did, to the time he unsuccessfully asked out the prettiest girl in school, to the hilarious story of how he got his breakout role as Eric in That 70's Show, to his BTS stories of working on his new thriller Flight Risk -- Topher's life and career are full of memorable stories.   Follow Podcrushed on socials: Instagram TikTok XSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada A moment came where there was like a joke and I was like, oh, I think this could be funny. I forget what it was, but I made the joke, like, loud. Everyone kind of got quiet because I hadn't spoken yet, and he turned around and he goes, dude, what is your name? And I was like, Tofer, which I hadn't said, like, more than four times. I think...

I guess that's my name. This is really... This is a Genesis story. Exactly. And he goes... He goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up, hold up. This dude is fucking hilarious. Whoa!

That's not what I thought was going to happen. And then everyone started laughing. Like, they were like, okay, if you say it's funny. Welcome to Pod Crushed. We're hosts. I'm Penn. I'm Sophie, and I'm Nava. And I think we would have been your middle school besties.

Genuinely appreciating each of his friendships and waiting for the other one to finish. Not. That's too loud. I've got to pick up the cues here, so I've got to pick them up. That was laid it out for you. Was it too late? It was a little late.

I said, and waiting for each... I said waiting for each other to finish. And Sophie's like... Just bring it up closer. Welcome to Pod Crushed. I'm joined by my co-hosts. Sophie Ansari and Navakalvin. Give them a round of applause.

Hello. Hello. Sorry to those who are listening. It's not going to be a huge oversight. But do you see what's inside of my hood here? I'm wearing a black hoodie that's otherwise unremarkable. But I want, I'm just curious if you can see what this is. Is it a maroon fleece?

Is it a pod crushed sweater? Do you think that I got a bespoke podrushed sweatshirt? Like a one off? One of our pod crushed hoodies was maroon. Oh, right, right. I see what you're just saying. But then like, then how would I have? I thought it was inside.

Yeah, I thought it was like, inside of your... No, no, it's a very uncannily, well, it's like a bespoke tailored hoodie. And the only reason I have it, guys, is because I wore it in the pilot of Gossip Girl. This is the only, this single item of clothing that I've ever kept from all, I was going to say seven seasons. It definitely was only six seasons. That's cool. Penn, does this mean that on air you're going to commit to watch? watching the Gossip Girl pilot with me and Navajo.

I never said that. Hen Badgey just committed. There is going to be a Gossip Girl pilot. You heard it here first. They all heard it. He is just committed to a Gossip girl pilot rewatch episode at some point. Listen, listen. If we're going to make that rewatch money, we got to do it right.

We got a plan. We will do it right. We will. Before we get into this episode, I have to shout out one of our crushies, Nicole G. She helped prepare the research, the biodoc, for today's guest, who for Grace. I was really slammed and she had reached out to me previously and said, if you ever need help, I would love to help you.

And I did. I took her up on the offer and she helped put together today's research. So I'm really grateful. Thank you, Nicole. Thank you, Nicole. She saw your TikTok and she was like, help. You don't need to use chat. D.P.T.

She was like, come on. You can use me. And I can help you. Yeah. Okay. So that is, so we've got, we've got the cats out of the bag. We have got Tofer Grace in the building, an actor who has worked so much over the last 20 years.

It's hard to know where to start, but otherwise his film credits include, you might remember, Spider-Man 3, Black Klansman, interstellar. He had those really charming cameos in Oceans 11 and 12. There's Mona Lisa Smile. More recently on Hulu, he had home economics, and now he is back in a new film called Flight Risk. He was lovely meeting Tofer for the first time, really. We discovered this was, we'd never met, but, um, Such an authentically kind, gracious human being.

You're going to love him just as much as we did. We will be right back. Does anyone else ever get that nagging feeling that their dog might be bored? And do you also feel like super guilty about it? Well, one way that I combat that feeling is by making meal time everything it can be for my little boy, Louis. Nom Nom does this with food that actually engages your pup sense.

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Why do we do what we do? What makes life meaningful? My name is Elise Lunin, and I'm the author of On Our Best Behavior and the host of the podcast, Pulling the Thread. I'm pulling the thread. I explore life's big questions with thought leaders who help us better understand ourselves, others, and the world around us. I hope these conversations bring you moments of resonance, hope, and growth. Listen to pulling the thread from Lemonada Media wherever you get your podcasts. Tofer at 12 years old, how was he seeing the world? How did he feel about it? And was he becoming an artist yet? Well, I was actually very popular because I was on the football team.

So, like, remember, that was my group of friends. And I also was good friends with the cheerleaders and lacrosse players. I'm just kidding. I was... Like, this is not how I've heard. I was like, I think Wikipedia was a little misleading. I don't know him well enough to laugh. So I was a wildly unpopular.

You totally put it in a lot. Thank you. Thanks for not believing me, but not saying it. We're all just like blank stare. I like to say in middle school when I was 12, it wasn't that I was unpopular. It was that I didn't even chart. like it was invisible

like I think when I didn't I wasn't embarrassed or um like sad with my station I was just like kind of nothing which is worse because I could see people who are unpopular being mad about it

um but then I would be in the school place sometimes and I would kind of stand out a little bit that way but um in the school I was in in my hometown I was kind of uh there wasn't a lot of love

for the arts and so being good in the school play wasn't even really a like a huge bonus it's almost like something else that was kind of weird about me I felt at the time where did that interest in the arts even come from why were you in the school play well uh my my home was very safe which is now having kids something that's like just so important to me is even though I was I felt like kind of an ugly duckling my by the way me calling myself an ugly duck of age was just hope that somewhere else I was a swan. But I had no else of that. But I, my mom and dad were really loving and great. So we had a really great warm house that I lived in. I'm very lucky. In fact, that's what I see is my greatest privilege, is that they were so wonderful. And even though I was

kind of unpopular, I didn't really fit in that town. I felt very safe at home. home and my mom, because I didn't have a lot of friends. My mom would show me a lot of old movies. She worked at Columbia Pictures for a short time in New York. And I didn't really watch a lot of TV of that. So a lot of like my references and plays and stuff were like from the 40s and 50s. So it made me exceptionally weird in school. But I would kind of like, but I really love those movies they'd show me. Yeah. I was going to say when you said that you were kind of nothing like you didn't chart but that you didn't even really care like there were other people who cared about that I was like you must have had a good home life because I feel like that's

the only way that that could be the case and um it made me think I recently saw something where someone said like the the real generational wealth is like a happy safe loving home yeah that's exactly that when I say privilege that's what I mean look I had many privileges uh growing up that I only now I'm starting to, like, become aware of. But I think the biggest one is, you know, that learned behavior, it was learned behavior in a good way, you know, my parents, parents, and hopefully I'm passing that on. So it sounds like you didn't have, like, a crew at school. When you watched movies, was it just with your parents?

Or did you have anyone your age, like outside of school who you hung out? No, it was pretty rough for me. And then I had really interesting thing happened, which was, I went to boarding school, so I repeated eighth grade. Oh, wow. I changed schools. And let me tell you it was like in the school that I've been going to, which was a public school that was in my hometown,

is like my parents who were so supportive. I remember my dad saying, like, you would give me advice. Like, I think I was kind of like putting around his, he had a den that he worked in. And I said, like, you know, I kind of have a cool. crush on this girl and and something he hadn't heard from me before I'm sure uh if my son now said it to me I'd really take interest but he said all right uh what are you gonna do about it I said I was you know there's this like winter carnival dance and I should um like I was thinking of asking her

but she's like the most popular girl in the whole school and I'm I'm not like I didn't know how to communicate to him how unpopular I was and he said you should go for it just ask her out And I was like, oh, all right, I'm not sure. And then, God bless this guy. What a great guy. He commuted to the city. So I didn't see him in the morning. He'd, like, leave before I went to school.

And he, like, quote unquote, like, missed the train that morning and said, hey, I miss a train. Why don't I drive you to school? And then the way it was like, are you going to ask that girl out? And I was like, oh, I don't know if that's a good idea. And he really pushed me to. And I was like, okay, I guess I should. And by the way, I am, even though this story is about to go terribly, I'm really glad that he made me do it because ultimately there's a real thing,

especially before the, you know, social media and stuff, which is when I was single, you actually do have to learn how to walk up to people and say, like, would you like to go on a day with me? But this is the first time I tried it. And I remember it so clearly, I was standing in this hallway. She was, like, flipping her hair at some locker or something, like talking to her friends. and I just like walked oh my god I was so I mean I hosted sounder live and I remember when I was like backstage and they were like you know like the guys yelling your name and you're about to the band is going being like this isn't the most nervous ever been the most nervous I was wow was I won't mention this girl's name but uh when I was about to cross the hall and I mean I was so like my heart was beating out of my chest and I went up to her and said um here Penn you're a professional actor uh ask me out. I'll be her or you be me. Ask me to the winter

carnival dance. Oh, I'm going to be you? I'll play at a girl. Do I do I need to do I need to emulate the nerves and everything? I need yeah do I need you to commit yes I need you to commit Okay Okay what was oh I can't say her name I can't say her name Just call me um okay Sarah yeah Sarah yeah

Sarah okay Hi hi Sarah Sarah Sarah hi I'm I'm Tofer I don't know I don't know if you know who I am but I was wondering maybe if

it's possible that we could like we could go somewhere on a day together that was a great first take so my notes are no I'm just kidding but I okay yeah here's what she did this is literally exactly her reaction she goes oh my god are you serious

no and by the way I wasn't even smart enough to go of course I'm kidding oh my God like yes I'm kidding I just want to know I'm serious and she looked if you guys are her friends and I'm over here she looked over to her friends and went like

oh yeah sorry for your listeners that was like a that look was like um oh my god like what am I supposed to do in this situation so what was it if the nerves so the nerves is the anticipation

then what was the feeling after well um yeah it's that thing that happens is all with failure is where you go both i'm sad that happened and this feels right this feels like uh the truth but um she actually went on to become miss america no no she's unhappy i think she got divorced and stuff it's good um i was like that's bad because that's an identifying detail and we'll find her we're gonna TikTok's going to find this, Ms. America. I hope she's happy. But what happened to me that year was that went,

so there were a couple instances like that where it was like introducing me to like, well, that was, and I was still Chris. I was Chris Grace, right? My name's Christopher. Oh, that's right. And then I had gone to camp and I kind of was like, I think that was where I started

that ugly duckling thing. I was like, I think maybe I'll be better, like, in a different pond. Like, I liked camp a little bit more and the kids were a little different and kind of more like me, I thought. And so I begged my parents to go to boarding school that year. And, and, you know, having, I went to boarding school for five years. So these are co-ed schools, but everyone thinks boarding school is like dead poet society

or school teachers. It's like really fun. It's like a, it's like, it's like, pre-college or something. It's just you're living away from home, but it's a lot of your friends and stuff. But the kids who don't like boarding school are the ones who are forced to go by their parents.

And there are a lot who are there who are kind of, you know, like sent away by their parents. And they're all doing drugs and trying to like basically get kicked out and go home. But the kids who want to go like me absolutely love it. and that's what happened is I got to kind of reinvent myself and I remember the first day of orientation at boarding school since the second time I did eighth grade

and also I was very young looking for my age but I was able to do it again you know have another shot at it the prettiest girl in that school was talking to me the first day and was like I was like I hate I introduced myself as Christopher but everyone calls me Chris and she said you should go by Tover

and I was like okay wow I love that now you're Tofer Graves for life yeah tover had a much better time than Chris but when I go home to visit my parents I would

be in like the local CVS and I'd be like wait what am I doing in the feminine napkin aisle and then someone be like Chris oh and I'd like revert to being like a I'd be like, so I, like, I don't know, where am I in the, and then when I went back to the school, I was, I wasn't wildly popular, but I was, uh, I was doing better than I did at home. You were charting. Yeah, charted, I charted.

Do your parents, do your parents call you Chris or Tofer or Cargifer? They call me CJ, which no one called, because my middle name is John, so only wife called me Chris and her, really. You have, you have three, you have three names. Yeah, and all the, a lot of people I work with called me Toe when I first started. So it's all over the place, yeah. A man of many names. You have a sister name, Jenny, and you're on a show, or you were on a show on Hulu called Home Economics, which is all about sibling relationships.

And I'm curious about your relationship with Jenny and what she calls you. Denny's a big part of why I had a great childhood, even though I was having a tough time in school. She was younger than me, but way more popular than me. I mean, it was hard to not be more popular than I was at that time. But, by the way, Penn was on a show called Gossip Girl, where he played a character named Dan and his sister was named Jenny, and she was more popular, and I just feel like I need to point this out. Also, my wife was on Gossip Girl.

Wait, what? My wife doesn't, she doesn't act anymore, but she's living in New York, and she is on an episode, and she loves you. I mean, she loves you, but she also loves your show, you. What part did she play? She played herself. was modeling in New York at that time. And she played Ashley Hinshaw, which she's no, she's Ashley Grace now. There you go. Okay. Yeah. Sorry, back to you and Jenny. So your sister was

more popular. So my sister was more popular than me. I'll tell you great story about coming home from boarding school with my sister was my, like, me in eighth grade, or maybe I was probably older at this point. Maybe me in like 10th grade couldn't have dated my sister's friends who were like in ninth grade. You know what I mean? Like it was so important. embarrassing and um and i can't what was how i was like in the car with my dad and we were picking up my sister and her friends from the mall because i didn't like all my friends at boarding school you kind of scatter at christmas time everyone goes back to where their hometown is so we um i was hanging on my dad we picked them up and my dad said like none of the girls said hi to me

my dad from the front, you know, he and I were sitting in the front. He said, like, ladies, you didn't say hello to Christopher. And I remember he's so embarrassed. And so, uh, my dad's a G, by the way. You're going to get this from the story because he's actually right about all this stuff. But I was like, dad, like, stop, like under my breath. But I think the girls heard me, being, oh. And then they got out of whatever the next stop was.

And I think it's the only time I swore at my dad. You can swear on this, right? Yeah. I was like, when are you going to stop being such a fucking tool? I was so embarrassed. I think he forgave. We didn't like talk like that in my family a lot. But I was so mad at him for doing that.

And he goes, when you stop caring? And it was like, I got it kind of in the moment. But like a year or two later, I was like, oh, my God. If only I'd said like, I mean, no one likes it when they get set up like that. But if I'd said, like, I'm single and ready to mingle ladies or whatever, they would been like, oh, he's confident. And instead I showed me... It could have been better than that, but yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, we hear you. It was a tough setup. But, you know, like, when you're a friend in middle school in publicity, you two should be together to, like, you and the girl, you're like, oh, no, don't say. But if you were just like, she wishes, like, you'd win the whole interaction, but no one has that confidence at that time. But you have to go through them to gain that confidence, I think. Yeah.

Is there anything now that you're a father? yourself, is there anything that you've sort of consciously taken from your dad and put into your own parenting? Oh, I mean, tons of it. Yeah, I'm very lucky in that way that I don't, um, that I, that I, that I don't have to call my own roadmap. I can just kind of copy off of his homework, you know, like I feel, uh, some of my friends who had bad home lives, I am in awe that they're such great fathers or mothers because it's uh they had to figure it all of themselves in some ways i i think they're better at it because they really have discovered everything on their own from scratch but most of my stuff is i just get to kind of copy default yeah when i first got to

boarding school it was interesting because i was so close to my parents it's weird to really want to go away and and have your parents kind of be good friends of yours but but i really did want to figure it out myself i didn't like whatever class i was in the kid who was the most popular guy in by way i hope anyone who's listening who's that age now i hope this has all been eradicated i hope that like anti-bullying has like has like changed forever whatever the system was i guess i won't know until like kids or middle school but um in the 90s there was like a most popular guy and most popular girl

and they were always the two best looking people in the class that's how they became how they got those jobs and then it was kind of up to day for the guy it could have been confidence sometimes you know for the guy

it didn't always necessarily have to be the most gorgeous but yes definitely the girl that kind of the guy sometimes could supersede that you know sometimes with the confidence but never for the for the girl unfortunately

I do think there was always those people who broke through who were just confident and they, like, that was their way in. And I feel like those people maybe are the only reason I believe in reincarnation. Like, there's no way anyone's that confident the first time around. Like, it's. You've done this before. Like, yeah, exactly. I remember there was like a kid who farted in a class and owned it. Oh, it was just like, yeah, I farted.

Everyone was cracking up. And then, like, I farted once in a class. Everyone was like, ew. And I was like, wait, how did the guy make it work for him? Like, and it was just that he owned it and didn't, he didn't care. And it's just like that thing. Stick around. We'll be right back.

All right. So, um, let's just. let's just real talk as they say for a second that's a little bit of an aged thing to say now that that dates me doesn't it um but no real talk uh how important is your health to you you know on like a one to 10 and i don't mean the in the sense of vanity i mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well right you want to be less stressed you don't want it as sick when you have responsibilities um i know myself i'm a householder i have uh i have two children and two more on the way, a spouse, a pet, you know, a job that sometimes has its demands. So I really want to feel like

when I'm not getting the sleep and I'm not getting nutrition, when my eating's down, I want to know that I'm being held down some other way physically. You know, my family holds me down emotionally, spiritually, but I need something to hold me down physically, right? And so honestly, I turned to symbiotica, these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious and i'm telling you um even before i started doing ads for these guys it was a product that i uh i really really liked and enjoyed and could see the differences with um the three that i use i use i use uh the what is it called liposomal vitamin c and it tastes delicious like really really good um comes out in the packet you put it right in your mouth some people don't do that i do it

i think it tastes great i use the liposomal uh glutathione as well in the morning um really good for gut health and although I don't need it, you know, anti-aging. And then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8, which is really good for, I think, mood and stress. I sometimes use it in the morning, sometimes use it at night. All three of these things taste incredible. Honestly, you don't even need to mix it with water. And yeah, I just couldn't recommend them highly enough. If you want to try them out, go to symbiotica.com slash podcrushed for 20% off plus free shipping. That's symbiotica.com slash podcrush for 20% off plus free shipping. The first few weeks of school are in the books, and now's the time to keep that momentum going.

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Podcrush listeners can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Rosettastone.com slash podcrush to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don't miss out. Go to Rosettastone.com slash podcrush and start learning today. I'll tell you my two great boarding school stories. Yeah. The first night I got to boarding school, you are scared because you can't believe you're going to live away from home. I guess for the rest of your life at this point. You know, like, I mean, you'll come home and visit, but it's early. Yeah, that is wild. And I had taken a tour of the board. And a tour of a boarding school needs you stay over that night. And I kind of liked the kid I stayed over with.

So I was like, all right. Well, I got kind of one friend. He was a ninth grader now. But I was like, I know one kid. It seemed like a group of nice kids. And a refresher, you were 13. Yeah. My mom was crying when she left.

And I was like, wait, should I be really sad about this? And then my roommate didn't speak a lot of English. turned out to be a great friend of mine, but I didn't, you know, we didn't communicate that well right off the bat. And he had a fan that made, like, a lot of noise at night. And I was like, can you turn that off? And he was like, no.

Yeah, he saw a lot of English. He was much bigger than me. And he was like, that's nocturing until I just sit there at night with this fan, like, like, like, I'm out of here. Like, this is a bad idea. I miss my home. You know, you don't know how good something else can be. So I, but that weekend, they don't want,

want you to leave because they know if you just go on some of these weekend activities you're going to, it seems like you know where I'm going with this. But they know if you leave, you'll never come back. So you can't leave. But I went. I'm just laughing at that. I'm just laughing at that. Like, frankly, they're like, if we let these children go, they will never. I mean, I did the same thing at camp two years ago before that when I'd gotten to camp, which was I called my parents, you know, They don't let you call for three days. Then you can call. And I call and said,

if you don't come, pick it up. Like, I'm sorry to say this, but I am going to commit suicide. I remember my mom's like, we got to get him out of there. And my dad was like, just let him, he's, you know,

he's not going to. But, I mean, they were having a fight at home clearly about it. They didn't come pick me up. And now did I start having such a good time at camp? You know, like, you know, one kid says hi to you basically. And then you're like, oh, okay. I remember,

I never called home. again. And then towards the end of camp, they have a... They're like, did he do that? Exactly, right. They had to know. They had to call a counselor to find out. But like, the, they had, like, the last, like two weeks in the camp, because they know kids are then having so much fun. They don't care about their parents. Well, they made you bring a letter with you to get into dinner, uh, on that night. And I was having so much fun that I just addressed an empty envelope. And this is like, you know, 10 days after time, my parents, I was going to go myself if I didn't remember.

And then I just, like, my dad, can you imagine this guy going out to the mailbox opening up? Like, whoa, I got a letter from us. And then there's nothing inside? I was really messing with that. But that is the trajectory. And I'm sure my dad kind of understood that. So that week, I employed my acting abilities. And I said to all my teachers, my uncle died.

which, by the way, I didn't even have an uncle. But I was like, my uncle passed away, and I have to go to his funeral this weekend. So I do actually need permission to leave. And they were like, all right, fine. And so I got permission to go. I packed, like, my whole duffel bag. I was, like, waiting out on the curve,

like just sitting there. My dad had to drive, like, three hours up to pick me up. And then as I'm waiting, that girl who gave me the nickname Tocke walked up and was like, hey, are you going on the rock climbing trip this weekend? And I was like, what? She said, yeah, I was hoping you'd go on the rock climbing trip. I said, oh, actually, my uncle died.

And she's like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I was like, ah, we weren't that close. Like, don't, you know, I don't really know. And I have to go. And then my dad pulls up, like, hongk, and I was like, oh, like, oh, like, I guess he just drove three hours. I can't be like, sorry, you know, I don't want to go. So I went home that weekend, and the whole weekend was like,

guys, when can we get back to the school? My parents were so confused. And then, this girl, this girl changed your life. Yeah, she really did. I'm still in touch with her. She's awesome. And, uh, and very cool, like a very cool humans here. And, uh, and my second story is, okay, so the next weekend, um, I should preface this by

just saying that my whole life had not gone well up until this point. So this isn't like it was all victories for me. It was a nice change of schools But that summer before I went to boarding school I was like what I have to do is be funny Like I figured it out I was not a funny guy But I was like I think I am not going to be strong

I figured out at this point Like that's not going to happen I'm not going to be an athlete But I think I can be funny I've been funny in some of the plays I've done sometimes So I studied like a lot of Gary Larson Farsson calendars that we had around the house far side wow that's such a throwback nobody's named yeah the far side calendars that is such a specific 365 examples of how to be funny in there yeah and i yeah

i studied i got like a tape of a cassette tape of robin williams live at the met which is like a lot of been talking about cocaine addictions comically yeah i was saying those are polar opposites comically because because the far side is like very like like mild mannered yes i just anything that was funny work i was like what is you know like comedy central had just come in the air so it's like okay i'll watch a lot of that like a lot of kids in the hall i was just like i got to cobble together being funny because i'm going to introduce a new me which i was desperately trying to do and and i guess i tried to be funny a little bit in this um in the school i was going to and the kid who

was the most popular kid there who was kind of the king of that place he was like a put down guy he's like a roastmeister so like first of all he's the best looking guy in our schools that could have been enough for him but if anyone ever kind of like challenged him he could he had like a lot of quips and he kind of keep people down and that i don't know that kept him uh powerful i guess and i really didn't like that i didn't like it at all like i thought like if i was ever popular i wouldn't do it that way but then i went to this new school and there was a new guy who was the guy and he was i remember on the the first kind of like weekend activity we went to he was in the back of the bus and he was uh dating by the way the girl who i thought was attracted because they were the most attracted to

people so he was arm around her and everyone on the bus was kind of just looking back at them you know because they were the golden couple. And a moment came where there was like a joke and I was like, oh, I think this could be funny. I forget what it was, but I made the joke like loud. Everyone kind of got quiet because I hadn't spoken yet and he turned around and he goes, like, dude, what is your name? And I was like, Tofer, which I hadn't said like more than four times.

I think I know I guess that's my name This is really this is a Genesis story Exactly and he goes He goes whoa hold up hold up He goes This dude is fucking hilarious Whoa That's not what I thought was gonna happen

And then everyone started laughing Like they're like okay If you say it's funny Wow Tofer's hilarious He just came out there to LA a couple months ago He's still a great friend of mine I really want to hear

because you like you strike me as somebody so you had the plays going like it clearly was sort of like bubbling underneath the surface or whatever but you know these stories have all focused on um i think in a way how much your life could have gone in like a different direction it wasn't like you were you were in in this performing art school and it wasn't like it was beating you over the heads the way it sometimes does i mean for me i didn't even have any that kind of training but i was living in l.A. and working by the time i was 12 which i'm not even saying No, Penn, I actually, I remember because a lot of kids on 70's show, when I met him, we were teenagers, and a lot of them had dropped out of school. And I remember thinking, it's another reason I'm very, like, it's a privilege that I was born to my parents.

You know what I mean? Like, they really, I loved it, but they really kept it from me. There was, like, someone who came around a school play and was like, we'd like him to try out for that kid in Les Mis who sings that jaunty. Oh, interesting. Yeah. You were an hour outside of New York. It could have worked. And they wound up sending me to that boarding school.

And then I went to another, that woman born in school graduated ninth grade. So I went to another one. And the drama programs were so awful at these schools. Just, I mean, like the second one, we could only do things that didn't have scenery, you know, like Our Town or, like, Godspell. Because, like, they didn't have any money or anyone. They didn't have a teacher to do it. So, like, the – but when I got – when I got into the industry, I realized how lucky I was.

I had – it wasn't your everything. Yeah, because you get taken out of it out of real life so quickly, as you know. You know what I mean? Like, you might as well have as much experience. And a lot of the stuff we were doing on 70s show was about high school, and I had a lot to say about it. And sometimes I would have to kind of explain to some of the kids what – really does that mean you're a little bit older than everybody else no I was I was same age I did yeah Ashton's like a year older than me so it was like he was 20 I was 19 um laura and weller were younger

than meela was like she was like still in middle yeah that's right maybe it was actually yeah she was 14 she might just been in high school yeah yeah so so so but what I want to hear about is that turn like when did it become because it's it obviously if anybody is on our show and they're an actor rather than something else, there's a moment. You know, there's a moment where it clearly started to turn from something that it may have fed you in this incredible way, but you didn't know that it was even possible or practical to turn it into something.

Well, I have a terrible origin story, which is, it was too easy for me. So a lot of the work I've done post-70 shows really trying to prove myself like how actors would have to be beforehand. I basically, someone saw me in one of these boarding school plays and then I got that 70 show off of it. So that's, yeah, my first audition was that seven. Oh, wow. I didn't.

Oh, my goodness. I didn't know that. So I really did like being in the plays. But I wasn't the biggest participant. Like, I wasn't the biggest part of all of them. Also, I played tennis a lot, and I was into that. But I, and it kind of drifted. Like, I kind of liked it more when I was younger.

And then as I got a little more, you know, whatever, that happens when you're going through puberty and you kind of like get less confident i was like i don't know i need to be doing this and then i had a tennis injury and so i really went for it senior year of high school and got the lead in the big musical and i i remember the kids who were really into drama the drama kids of which i wasn't one um they all were going to like band together and like not do the play because like whoa because you got it Well, yeah, it wasn't like the, the, um, I thought a lot of them were kind of, uh, assholes.

No, no, no. I mean, I, they probably already feel bad enough. What's the word? They had a certain genesis, like, I think a bunch of them were kind of like, if only I'd gotten that part, I'd be in Spider-Man or like, whatever the thing. So it's like, I don't want to rub it in any further. But I do think that, um, some of them are, they, uh, they were acting like actors. I don't know if you guys had this in high school

where you go they're acting like actors during the play and outside of the play I was like I think the only thing you have to do is act like that part to act like an actor but everyone's trying to find their identity whatever so yeah that's yeah

you're right to be fair it's very you're being kind to them as you should well they wound up not even boycotting the play because they were like the show must go on and they like hauling me back and do the play but I'll start going on Oh, no, no, go. Finish.

Oh, no, it's just the parents of a girl who did the sets for that play. It was a funny thing happened on the forum. They, that spring, they saw them. They knew I was going to USC out in L.A. And they said, hey, can we call you when you're in Los Angeles? And I had no idea what they meant. Like, I should not. They didn't mean to be their assistant or like, what do they tell?

So I was like such a jerk about it. I was like, yeah, let's do lunch. Like Hollywood, babe. and then I just never thought they'd really call me about it. It was crazy. Wait, so you were going to go to USC or you did go to USC for a bit? You did one year at USC. And were you studying acting? No, then I totally stopped.

I did, to answer your question, Penn, I did have a moment when I was doing that play where I thought this is the most fun I've ever had in my life. And not just the rehearsals, which are great, it was like scoring in front of an audience with a comedy. And, you know, and funny thing that I have a forum is more like a sitcom if you're doing it for 300 people in, you know, in the crappy theater in New Hampshire. It's more like a sitcom than it is like a Broadway play, really. It's just like full of jokes.

Right. The audience is kind of the size of a sitcom. So I was like, oh, this is so, I just felt like I knew how to, remember the end of the Matrix when he just knows how to do all that stuff. And I was like, I get all this. But then when I went to college, everyone wanted to be an actor, and it was Los Angeles. And so I didn't even do one of the plays at USC. And I was friends with a lot of kids who were actors who were very surprised when... Again, just like the high school play.

Yeah, the whole thing was a little bit of a shock to a lot of people. But basically, I was not even doing that well in college. I was doing better, but I was not very popular there either. and then Lindsay Turner's mom called me I remember I was like hanging out with some friends and you know it was college so whatever I guess we weren't the right age but we were kind of all having fun and she called and I said hey who's this

and she's Bonnie and I said I mean Bonnie wrote with her husband Terry they wrote like Wayne's World and Tommy Boy and like oh yeah what's that no I just I realized the name yeah yeah and they were writers on SNL and they wrote third doctor from the son had been a big hit they had on the show that on the air and then

she said I said Bonnie who's this have we met kind of like have we hooked up or I was trying to be like cool and she was like no I'm Lindsay's mom I was oh shit

like go like get all the paraphernalia like out of here like this is one of my friend's moms she said no no no I just like oh my god we're doing a show it was clearly they'd read everyone in Los Angeles

and no one was actually a nerd and they were like we need a real nerd from the real world now and saw you in that play. I mean, she didn't phrase it like that, though, basically. She said, Penn, she goes, I need that, you need to bring a headshot and a resume. And I said, okay, like I have a resume because I worked Dunkin' Donuts and Suncoast video. I was like, but what is a headshot? And she said, it's like a picture of you that goes with the resume.

And I was like, got it, got it. So I showed up like at Fox. A picture of me and my friends It's six flags Like Oh my God No are you serious Tofer?

The head of Fox at the time That's crazy Who was Peter Roth by the way Who you know? Peter Roth? Peter Roth was running Fox And Wait,

Tofor Were your friends also in the picture? It wasn't like one of the ones on the roller coaster Like one of the But it was like us in the park And it was like I circled my shot

Like that one's me Her Arrow to Toper Oh, my God. I think it helped only because he was like, well, this is the real deal. He's like, I cannot believe it. Perfect. Yeah.

This is Eric. Well, I was going to ask because I think I've heard you say that there were a few other actors on that 70s show who it was their first time acting professionally as well. So like the first couple of years, you were really focused. Like you didn't really have time to do anything else. You were like, we have to figure out how to act. My learning trajectory was like straight up. This guy, this guy gets, you know, you get gossip. you know what a mark is, right?

Oh, yeah, well, dude, I mean, I had been doing it, I'd been doing it for almost 10 years. I know, I mean, I knew nothing. Like, there was, I remember during the pilot, they said, the director came up and really politely was like, great job on that one. Now, this one, remember to face the cameras. Because we can't use any of that

because it was the back of your head, yeah. Do you think it was intentional by the creators? It sounds like almost, like, at least a little bit, Bonnie was interested in you because you were authentically a nerd. I think they were very... They just won the Golden Globe for Third Rock from the Sun

and I think they were... I mean, they're geniuses. They're just great writers, but... Those two shows, yours and Third Rock alone are two, like... The thing about it, like the words not... Like, if you say, like, not... Like, they came up with that.

Like... Yeah, they were on SNL and they wrote that sketch and then everyone starts saying it. And so many things... Wow. They're wonderful people as of their daughter. But, yeah, that first year was really rough, actually. And only now do I talk about it where I go, you know,

I think I can kind of be more honest about how tough it was because I want to give myself with that age a break. But if you're 19, 20, and you've never done this before, and, you know, the first scene I did, you know, it's like, what, 12 million people watched it or something? I mean, it's just so. Yeah, dude. Dude, I forgot until prepping for this.

I was like, oh, my God, this was huge. This was huge. This was like, like things almost can't get that big anymore unless they're like, I don't know, Marvel, which you later did do. But like, you know, it was massive and good. It deserved it. I was, you know, this was one of my favorite shows ever. Well, you're younger than me, so you probably fit right in that kind of like. Yeah.

I think one generation younger than us really, it was. was speaking to because they were we were supposed to be your guys's age basically yeah and then you paid it forward by playing someone who was older than yeah yeah exactly that's the you know I've always seen my role uh as Dan Humphrey as charity I've always seen it I remember I remember go to New York I make this sacrifice after the 70 show was over and really took like a year off and just wanted to you know live in the real world and I remember seeing some of your castmates and some club or something

and being like this is better than what our situation was like to be doing something and not even be in L.A. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. And be like in New York and then shooting it about New York. I mean, that must have been such an incredible experience.

Well, I can hear something of a parallel where in the beginning when you're on something that's huge, there's just, and when you're that young, you know, you just can't have that much perspective. Well, I thought, dude, not to, sorry, not to blow too much smoke, but I thought the choices you were making outside of the show, which is always what I was obsessed with for myself, were just so great. I mean, you're seeing me Z.A. And the margin call was like, I mean, Margin Call is such a great film. Thank you.

Who's this? You hasn't seen Margin Call. Like, you watch that right now. It's just like a perfect film. It is a great movie. Yeah. Tover, you were in Interstellar, which I have to ask you about because it, you know, it's. is I think one of my all-time favorite films.

I feel like interstellar for me is the closest any film or TV has gotten to depicting what I think another realm could be. Like I think what happens after we die is a total mystery and we'll never know. But I feel like the depiction of space, the interplay between Matthew McConaughey and Jessica Chastain's characters, I'm like, I feel like that's probably what it's like. Or what about the interplay between Matthew McConaughey and Matthew McConaughey? Yeah, yeah. It really, it really moved me. I love that movie.

I mean, I was very little part of it, but I like, I mean, it's all the directors, writers. As you know, Penn, it's like, you know, it's really who you are working for. And that guy, it doesn't get better than that guy. Yeah, well, I was going to ask, do you have any memorable stories from you? from that set? Yes. The biggest thing I remember from that, besides Jessica Chastain, who I did most of my stuff with, is, like, the coolest human.

We had so much fun. We had a lot of, like, sitting in that car and driving around together, and she's just really cool to hang out with. But Chris Nolan has a great sense of humor. And I think people... Really? He just got knight in. I'm sorry, Sir Christopher.

Did he just got... I did not know that. As a wonderful sense of humor, and his projects are so... serious and he's so uh british and dry that you kind of wouldn't know it and i think people are scared to joke around with him but i remember we just had so much fun together also i wasn't like one of the leads so i think i don't know if he would have joke around with me if i had to go through a whole emotional thing in that movie but uh we kept just giving each other so much shit it was so much fun he basically would come up he came up to me after one scene it was like um one of the first

scenes i did there it was like well we didn't get it but we have to move on and i was like oh man i think guys kidding but if he's not kidding i'm already fired you know what i mean like so i think he's just being dry and so i was like chris i'm gonna hold my uh fingers under the under the frame and when i you know don't yell cut when i snap but then you'll know that's when to cut the film later and he was like you can't say that to a director especially not the greatest director of life and he was like very good very good he was kind of laughing and then we just

he kept you have to every take he'd come up and be like I don't think there's any way to make it better sadly and you know like the notes were like so he actually gave a lot of notes so the fact he was doing it was kind of a joke anyway and I'd say something to him and I remember Jessica being like oh I wouldn't I wouldn't be doing this and I'm sorry because it's like it was hardcore but it was so fun and then the last day he said

good job today and I said thanks Chris and he goes where was that guy all months and then actually the best postscript that whole story is my wife bumped into him I think we're only engaged at that point she bumped into him at a restaurant and they said you know meet Chris Nolan. And he goes, she said, I think my fiance is in the film you're making. And he goes, who's your fiancee? And she goes, Tofer Grace. And goes, no. And I had to, like, she came home and told me, and I was like, no, no, just trust me. It's a sense of humor. That's funny. Very British. She was like, no, I'm pretty sure he doesn't know who you are. That's really funny. That's very, very British. That's really funny. That's great that you knew he was joking. I think if it had been

me, I would have thrown up. I've been like, oh, he didn't think I got it. Well, he's, I mean, it's sad. He's probably so successful that he can't joke around as much as he wants to. But you can't have that much success without having a great sense of humor, I don't think. Yeah. That's true. I think, you know, we had another guest on who was in Oppenheimer.

And it was, that was the first time I'd heard a first-hand account of how actually, like, like, positive and relaxed. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he only does a couple takes. It's like, I would have thought you'd do like 100 takes. And he like does, you know, two takes, you know, maybe three. He's got it all figured out. I mean, he's truly when I, you know, people throw the word genius around,

but you're watching him going like, also his wife, I'm a two is like, they're like two geniuses. It's amazing. And we'll be right back. In the late 90s and early 2000s, Asian women, were often reduced to overtly sexual and submissive caricatures. The geishas of the book-turned film Memoirs of a Geisha, the lewd twins in Austin Powers,

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Available at your local pet smart store Or at Chewy Learn more at trynom.com slash podcrushed spelled try n-o-m dot com slash podcrushed Can you tell us about your new movie Flight Risk? So Fly Risk is Mark Wahlberg and I wanted to do a movie together forever

No, I'm just gonna answer it was like I like that version I really He said, like in the ring, man, we got to do an action movie. Because also, when he got into the plane, I was like, what? Yeah. I didn't know he was in this. He's like, the problem with us was, how do you tell us apart? You know what I mean?

Like, is the audience going to kind of be like, you know, like, which one is this? You know, so. I said, I'll play kind of, like, you play the bad guy, like the buff guy in this one. No, it's, it's, it's. It's great. It's one of those great scripts. It was a blacklist script. It's just only three people. And it's an actor's dream when, especially when it's those two actors. And you go, oh, man, it's just going to be the three of us. And also in a very, it's kind of a genius idea because it's in a very enclosed space. And I don't know if you've done one of those, like it's all just in one room type of thing. But then enclosed space is flying over these incredibly cinematic landscapes. It's kind of this plane's on autopilot. No one knows how to fly it. So it's like, you kind of. You kind of. I get to have your cake and eat it too, but there was some action stuff where I was like, I promised myself I was going to hang in there. So Mark would be like, you know, he had to punch me in the chest at one point. He's like, he's such a nice guy. He's like, are you okay? And I was like after

the take, Mark, like, I'm fine. At night I'd go back and pick on my shirt. They were like fucking bruises and welts and stuff. And I was like, but I didn't let anyone know. Wait, Tofer, did you really do some of your own stunts? Well, essentially, you kind of wind up doing all your on stunts, except for, it gets really crazy at the end, but you're just in this, you can't even stand up, it's like a small Cessna plane. So like when it, when it dives, everyone hits the ceiling, you know, it's just, yeah, it's like you're being jostled. It's sort of like it, it's hard to think. Well, the worst is I'm chained up for a chunk of the movie. So like, it's happening and then I can't even, whatever. And you guys were actually flying, like you're

in a real plane. There's really, no, it's the combo of like a lot of tricks. It was like, Like, it was, uh... There would be no insurance company that would insure. There was some intense stuff at the end. Look, I was, I was so tickled to, to, just before I left to do the film, they're like, what are you doing? I'm doing an action film. You know, it's like, who with?

I'm like, Mark Wahlberg. And it did disappoint. It was awesome to trial those things. And they would say, how are they going to tell you guys apart? Yeah, people go like, is he going to play the skinny guy or you're going to play the skinny guy? weird casting girl the math guy well I got to watch

most of it I actually got kicked off at the very end so I'm on a cliff It's so funny you're saying I wonder if they're going to show this on planes like you can't show this movie on a plane right Oh yeah

That's a good point I wonder if Well no no I watched flight on a plane Oh yeah you can't I can't believe they showed that on a plane That's crazy Yeah which is a commercial airline Watching a live on a plane yeah

but it's Denzel and I don't think Denzel made a cameo on this one, did he? Nope. No, I said you know what? He wanted to and I said, Dee? I'm sure. Let's be next guy. All right, let's save it for something that's both of us, you know?

It's not just wasting a cameo. Have you guys seen that clip of Denzel Washington on the press trip for Gladiator 2? Yes, the greatest clip ever. Can you be my therapist? I already am. Yeah, no, that's a good one. But then there's another one.

I mean, there's so, I feel like every clip of him on this press story is amazing. But there's one where he's doing it with Paul Maskell, and Paul Masco asks, he has like a written out question someone else gave him. And he says, what leading parts would you like to play that you haven't played? And he pauses it. He's like, I've played them all. He was like, there isn't one that I haven't played.

Next question. He's just like, does not give. Well, he doesn't happen. But your character, I feel like, obviously flight risk is a thriller. an action movie, but you play your character, Winston, with such a sense of humor. You're the sole comic relief. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a huge role. That was another great thing about the script is you go, a lot of these films, it's kind of one tone for the whole film. And I always find that really boring. I think, like, remember the first movie I ever did was traffic. You guys, you guys might be too young for the film Traffic. Oh, no, that's right. It's like, wow. When I did it, I thought it was funny.

Like, it's a Steven Soderberg movie. and we were like laughing the whole time we did it and then I watched it when it came out and I was like oh my god this movie's I mean I knew it was a serious movie

for any of the script but I thought it would have a lighter tone and I realized I just personally um I did Black Klansman a couple years ago was kind of like that I was like I think this

with a really skilled director if you want to challenge the tone it actually dimensionalizes the piece and I actually feel away about comedies too I think in comedies I like it when you get serious and have a dramatic scene because it dimensionalizes that in a weird way.

But I always feel like greener directors are scared to do that because they go, oh, this isn't seem like a scene that would be in that movie. But I think my favorite movies have, you know, like I was just watching Terms of Endearment and that's the movie that makes everyone cry, right? Like, I don't know if you guys have seen it, but it's amazing. But it's almost like a comedy.

even though it's the saddest film probably ever made yeah Tofer you're so delightful I don't have a final question oh my god I got that I like that as a final question am I delightful

yeah tell us was this all a facade or yeah on a scale of one said if you could go back to your 12 year old self what would you say or do with anything

such a great question um i think uh if i only had like a couple seconds i quickly tell him like don't worry uh you get laid uh we get like a show and it leads into a whole thing like i would totally tell him just the i mean that but that's selfish that's like kind of result oriented um but lately I've been thinking like what I really would do is get that guy a hug he was trying so hard like I wish there's a way I could just give him a hug and I guess the only way to do it is now to think about it

but like that guy wanted so badly to you know participate have a life that I do now so maybe being grateful is the way to do that now You know what? That is very wise. I think you just said something that very humbly, the way something that truly is wise is like it's just kind of flew under the radar, but that's very wise to suggest that the way you can go back to your 12 year old self

and hug him and hold him is to be grateful now. That's deep. Well, on that note, you really are delightful. I guess we should, yeah, we should really wrap it up, guys. That sounded great. Thank you so much, Tof. I did.

Is that what you're in? Yeah, I don't want the words in your mouth, but did you say you meet him? Did you say? You're an emotional Chris Nolan. Whoa. Wow. Sir, Tofer. Well, that has kind of like a ring to it or something.

You can watch Tofer Grace's new film Flight Risk and you can follow Tofer online at Tofer Grace. We are so excited that you can now listen to Podcrush, ad free on Amazon Music. In fact, you can listen to any episode of Podcrushed ad free right now on Amazon Music with an Amazon Prime membership. Hey, it's so nice to meet you guys. Yeah, you too. I know.

You believe we've never met before. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. For a moment, I was like, wait, have we? Have we? But no, no, we haven't. We're actually pretty close, dude. That's a real asshole thing to you. Childhood friends.